For those who don’t follow Planet-IF, Nitku’s IF Name Generator is now up to 2012 speed.
I’d suggest a celebratory SpeedIF if we weren’t in the middle of IF Comp judging and Ectocomp; as it is, I’m just going to have to be satisfied with quoting some of the good ones.
I got these 3 in a row:
Quest for the Mystery
Napoleon Quest
Learning Amnesia
These were also awesome:
Zombie Adventure
Kaged Brainwave
Samurai Now, Everybody
Potsticker Toasterama
And this year’s titles provided us with these, which are snappy if not hilarious:
Temple of the Transit
The Last Island
Wish Lift
Going down the list:
Filaments Suburban Garden
Genie Toasting
World’s Grinsen
A Crimson Monarch of Mo
Tookie’s Rescue Mission
Gartin Made Me Do It
The Black River at the Folkestone Inn
Pick Up The Phone II: (a sequel to 9:05, no doubt)
Killing the Ice Cave
Enigma [C64, Bitch: (I find this one more amusing than I should)
R.J.'s Lifeboat
The Haunted Castaway
The Silver Adventure
Got Sound of One Hand Clapping: (Get equipped with Koan!!)
The Treasure of McDooby’s trono de Inglaterra
Cave D-Day
And the 2012 edition, for good measure:
Living Great Archeological Race
Escape From Beal Street
That Crazy Radioactive Bowl
The Sealed Be Dragons!!!
Professor Von Witt’s Fabulous Flying Now READY
Murphy’s Orpington
Rogelio-like Island
Andromeda of the Alchemists
Revenge Island
Being Lift
In a Mammal
Valkyrie Youth
Fish Coast University
Guilded Opium
Beyond Zork sample Kicker
Blink Apocalypse
Sexual Coma!
Goofy Vampire
Lazy Gods Get All The Girls
The Waterhouse Ogres
Oh No Not Fire Witch
It’s Coming to Tea!
Naked on D-Day
Savoir-Faire on Pluto
Space Kook
Moments Out of Kerkerkruip
Rape, Pillage, Verb
Dragonslayer Backup
Lost Doom
Philosopher’s Christmas Party
Count Bonehead
The Dragon of the Vampire
Dracula’s Two Doors
Quest of Choices
Recluse with a Hitchhiker
The Pilot, or, A Flight Into Monsters
Spodgeville Murphy and the Jewelled Suicide
Professor Von Witt’s Fabulous Strange Resort
Perdition’s FunHouse
Ice World Gizzard of Showbiz
Little von Glockenspiel
Dr. Death’s House of Animals
Agency World’s Hardest Adventure
The Training Curse
Dreary Enchanter
The Body Gonna Take You To The Video Bar!
This raises of course the prospect of in-game text (and perhaps even maps and puzzles) procedurally generated by Markov chain.
i got We Are Woof, which I find hilarious.
Papa Sabotage
Anatomy Panic
Pathetic Tim’s Mom
Space 1981
“Offensive Yawn” sounds like my kind of adventure.
I would definitely play all of these.
How could you do this to me! You know it is as addicting as ment… First I got Castle of Flesh. Then I got Leather Keep. But surely nothing trumps Walled City of Beef. Anyway, here are my too many cents:
Dracula Episode 2: Mathemagical Adventure
It’s actually the Count, but they hope nobody will notice the difference.
Titanic: New Year
Sometimes a message of hope just doesn’t ring true.
Rape, Back
A summary of the 2012 GOP senate campaign.
Tightest Cave
Let’s hope this game is about a dangerous form of spelunking.
Nostradamus’s Deeds
Did he put his money where his mouth was?
The President, Stowaway
An incredible journey from Kenya across the Atlantic!
The Broken Neverending Story
It got stuck and now it’s just repeating itself.
The Marvelous Glorious Revolutionary Text Adventure Game
(I like how you would never guess where the break between the two game names is, if you didn’t know the names of the games already.)
Donkey Joystick
Even mister Makane might want to give this one a pass.
Pyramid Consumer Guide
You’ll need one, because, you know, how?
Chicks Dig Six
Everybody digs Six!
Blizzard Fiction
“And after Aiur had been desecrated, the remnant of the Protoss race scattered across the galaxy to escape from the raging Zerg…”
Ted Paladin And The Case Of The Abandoned Monsters
They were tied to a tree in the forest after they complained about being tied to the roof of the car.
Disenchanted Tester
Perhaps it wasn’t the game’s fault. Perhaps his expectations were just too high.
The Hentai of Our Wombats is Missing
They really liked that furry stuff, and without it…
The Case of Limp
… yeah, exactly, that.
The Adventures of Alice who Went Through the Looking-Glass and Came Back Though Not the Ultimate Weapon
Which unfortunately meant she couldn’t stop the alien invasion that commenced just after she returned.
Monty Python & Holy Brimstone
I’d go for the holy brimstone alone. Add Python, and you’ve got a sure winner.
The Tower of Identity
“It’s actually the tower of the law of identity, and it can never be destroyed.”
“No? What happens if I blow it up with a nuclear bomb?”
“It wouldn’t be it.”
Pass the Senator’s Chambers
Without listening at the door, please. They’re performing a theological experiment.
Dungeon @
ASCII roguelikes brought down to their very essence.
Identity is Nigh
The world spirit has almost reached full self-conscience!
By the way, here is the old topic. It contains some gems.
Okay, Victor’s method is more entertaining.
The Devil Made Me Magic Land
Just don’t look directly at the rainbows. Or touch the pegasi. Or the unicorns. Safer not to touch anything, really.
Escape from Pulsar Stripper
You shouldn’t have called her superdense.
Hotel Quest for the Lost Sheep
We are not asking why the sheep was in the defendant’s room. Just the evidence, people.
Choose Your Basic Training
Actually, all of the choices result in you getting psychologically brutalised, so you may as well just click wherever.
Nirvana in the Marching Band
Well, it’s not so much a march, more of an anhedonic shuffle. Kurt twirls a mean baton, though.
Frobozz Magic Child Murderer
We focus-grouped the IF audience and discovered that what they really want is Zork, body horror and games about children.
Zombie Beauties
We focus-grouped the mainstream videogame audience and discovered that what they really want is zombies and scantily-clad women.
Finding Tea Party
Spoiler: every time you hit a junction, go right.
Even the Devil Must Breakfast
…granted, it’s always Brutus, Cassius and Judas, same as every meal, but they’re covered in hollandaise sauce and he has some grapefruit juice and pain au chocolat on the side.
You’re killing me, Sam. 
I present to you one of the most fiendishly difficult pieces of IF ever:
To Cage Houdini
I think this is a game even I can play!
Moist Somewhere
Just where exactly I won’t say
Cuddles Condemned
Consider yourself warned
Pervo Mole Man
He’s just lonely, give him a chance
Metroid Formerly Known as Hidden Nazi Mode
The secret is out!
Survival Verb
Spoiler: it’s SURVIVE.
Still Laughing at my Bomb Under Parliament
Guy Fawkes can’t get no respect.
Sexual Cathedral
The FBI made us remove this game from the Archive; the author got promoted and moved to another diocese.
Madam a Slaver’s Kingdom
Well, someone has to organise those doxies.
Sex Hallows Eve
I know, I know, technically Samhain isn’t a fertility festival, but if we don’t include a ritual orgy nobody ever shows up.
Evolution Conspiration
As God, you must meticulously hide millions of fossils in Earth’s strata, arranged in what appears to be a plausible sequence of descent. Seven-day time limit.
Dungeon Airport
“You burst through the door and into the next room! Within are three ORCISH TSA AGENTS manning a RADIOACTIVE PERVOTRON.”
Goldilocks Blues
“Well I woke up this morning / Bears all around my bed / Yes I woke up this morning / Bears all around my bed (yeah they was) / Now I got no home or family / Sleep in the woods instead.”
Goldilocks is of Bain
“Two-thirds of ursine product is outside marketable parameters. We’re going to lay off Father and Mother Bear and outsource their core functions to a Vietnamese squirrel farm.”
Continuing our U.S political theme, here is a game set in a Virginia abortion clinic:
Flexible Probing
Don’t worry. Ultrasound harms neither mother nor child.
Being solves everything
All the mystics agree.
Sexual Visualizing
It’s better than porn. I mean, really.
Pick Up the Sea
Takes grinding to a whole new level.
Bliss to my Enemies
The small indie company that developed this game failed to focus-group any audience. Sales were disappointing.
Fran and Bart Want a Guardian
The heart-warming tale of two young boys attempting to escape from their dysfunctional home.
Hammurabi (The Hobbit)
Not, we should stress, the Babylonian emperor.
Nazi Alone
They’re pretty cute alone.
Anal Challenge
It involves fruit. That’s all we will say.
These two games were generated right next to each other; the second gives some much needed backstory to the first:
Ruined Aquarium
Enhanced Fish-Bot!
Sherlock Holmes in the Case of the Sit-In
He’s working for the Man. He’s always been.
Assault Here
To Erik’s surprise and delight, the assailants fell for his little trap.
when i was Antifascista
I was against it before I was for it.
Helvera - Mistress of the Minotaur
The slightly more mainstream sequel to Pasiphaë - Mistress of the Bull.
Matt’s Dog/House
Details are scarce at the moment, but we do know that one of them burned down.
More random craziness! Take a look at the IF Review Generator that mashes together random sentences from IFDB reviews!
Now you can even click on the titles in the name generator and get a review written about it.
For the benefit of sharing and possible speed-IFs, the generated reviews are saved. Just share the web address given by the generator and anyone accessing it later gets the same content.
I haven’t been having huge amounts of luck thus far, but I rather liked the ominous vagueness here:
