Useless context-free spoilers

As the comp deadline draws nearer, the idea for some context-free spoilers came to mind. What’s something that’s technically a spoiler for your game, but won’t make any sense until someone already knows too much to be spoiled?

For mine:

  • Kissing people will, in every possible case, have a better result than talking to them.
  • The protagonist has strong opinions on whether something is a sandwich.
  • Typing profanity into the parser is a valid alternate solution to one puzzle.
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Hmmm, but unless these are clear they are the solution you’ve kinda given away some of the puzzles…

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Here’s a few for mine:

  • Everyone is gay and/or autistic
  • I voice an obvious character in this game
  • Whether or not you visit mom, something will happen.
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the story headline is "A Fun Activity <3".
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Oh, don’t worry. These are deliberately phrased to be as useless as possible.

The reason for the first one will become obvious by the beginning (not end!) of the tutorial, the second one has no bearing on any gameplay, and the third one is technically true but misleading to the point of being actively unhelpful for solving the puzzle.

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While we’re on the topic, here’s another.

(select)
	“...their country-place, Styles Court, had been purchased by Mr Cavendish early in their married life...”
(or)
	“...he had been completely under his wife’s ascendancy, so much so that, on dying, he left the place to her for her lifetime...”
(or)
	“...as well as the larger part of his income; an arrangement that was distinctly unfair to his two sons...”
(or)
	“...their step-mother, however, had always been most generous to them...”
(or)
	“...indeed, they were so young at the time of their father’s remarriage that they always thought of her as their own mother...”
(or)
	“...Lawrence, the younger, had been a delicate youth. He had qualified as a doctor...”
(or)
	“...but early relinquished the profession of medicine, and lived at home while pursuing literary ambitions...”
(or)
	“...though his verses never had any marked success...”
[...]
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  • Do not use the lift
  • Do not go into the abandoned room
  • Do not handle the books
  • Do not fix the plug
  • Do not hack the computers
  • Do not crawl through the air vents
  • Do not annoy Father
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I appreciate the walkthrough, but this game seems to be really short…

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Ah, but you see Father is annoyed if the lift he paid good money for isn’t getting used, he gets querulous if he doesn’t hear the soothing whisper of pages turning, and he’s going to blow his top soon because he forgot his computer password…

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You have subscribed to Antarctica Facts!

  • Did you know: there used to be a nuclear reactor at the South Pole? It was affectionately referred to as “nukey poo” and was decommissioned in 1972.
  • A fruitcake was left behind in Antarctica by Robert Scott. 100 years later, it was still nearly edible!
  • A scientist wintering over at the Antarctic Russian base allegedly stabbed his colleague for spoiling the ending of books!
  • Antarctic bases are full of nepotism!
  • Antarctica is basically Mars!
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I think it’s okay if you give the spoilers without any context, though.

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This thread saves lives.

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  • It’s okay to trepan your friends!
  • You should always strive to eat a balanced diet.
  • It’s okay to let your friends trepan you!
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Are these all true facts?

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Although root vegetables are a good source of important nutrients, they can easily kill you!

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Yes they are!

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The whole murder mystery begins when someone tries to move from one room to another in the dark and falls to her death. It’s a dangerous thing to do, even in your own home!

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(I’ve been trying to figure out how to put a joke about that trope in the intro for ages, but it’s never quite worked, so I can at least make the joke here instead.)

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The guy who was stabbed actually did survive and forgave his colleague, feeling that it wasn’t something the other guy would normally have done and was more the result of the weird things that winter in Antarctica can do to your brain.

No word on whether his colleague forgave him for the spoilers, though.

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Looking through this topic, I sifted through my text for useless spoilers. This is as close I can get to a spoiler of sorts without spoiling a specific puzzle.

(name of big bad guy) spews rivers of blood at you and your companions, but fortunately, with (seven or eight) companions, the rivers aren’t very deep

But the exercise helped me tune up a few passages quite nicely, so yay!

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