Mike Russo's IF Comp 2026 Reviews

Here we go here we go here we go! For as many Comps as I’ve been reviewing, there are always brand new surprises both promising (a game about an indie-band tour is such a perfect idea I can’t believe I haven’t come across it before) and worrisome (cannibal porn isn’t technically against any of the rules, huh?), callbacks from decades past (are there really two Rybread Celsius games in space-year 2026?), games I tested that I’m excited to see leave the nest, and others that are completely unassuming on the ballot page but will nonetheless wind up being absolute favorites.

Let’s dig in.

[index TK]

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Forensic Necromancy: A Murder in Ninevah, by Daniel M. Stelzer

Liberals like to complain about the current administration’s purge of funding for research and higher education, arguing that a pretended crackdown on “D.E.I.” is actually threatening progress on cures for cancer, new battery and clean-energy technology, programs to help kids read and write, and understanding the history of fascism and how to fight it, not to mention surrendering one of America’s most potent tools for recruiting the best and brightest from across the globe and defunding the public universities that are among the crown jewels of our country to boot. But that’s a small price to pay to stop the deplorable goings-on in Forensic Necromancy, where a shiftless grad student is using research grant money to travel to ancient archeological sites and get so high they think they can see the past – Russ Vought knows “entheogens” are just drugs, he’s ~~read Huxley’s Doors of Perception~~ fed it into an LLM.

Er, more seriously, the record will show that I’m a sucker for Stelzer’s trademarked blend of Bronze-Age history nerdery and sophisticated Dialog features, with last year’s Wise Woman’s Dog being a highlight of the Comp for me. A Murder in Ninevah shares a lot of back-end DNA with its predecessor, with slick quality-of-life touches like an interactive map, hyperlinks for those who don’t want to mess with the parser, an integrated tutorial, and a THINK feature orienting the player towards unsolved puzzles all making it easy to get into and play. But the milieu is fairly distinct – not only does the history here focus on the Neo-Assyrians rather than the Hittites, the aforementioned framing device creates more of a remove: you’re not an active participant in past events, but an observer using your unique techniques to better understand them (and hopefully get a publication out of it).

This could have just been a short prologue helping ease the player into the where and when of the meat of the story, but instead the forensic necromancy conceit is woven throughout proceedings. You explore the past by finding specific human remains and doing a form of psychometry that arranges some of their key memories in your mind palace, a bit of New Age argle-bargle that opens up some fun avenues for puzzles, like seeing someone die in the past and using that to locate their remains in the present which in turn allows you to uncover new memories. Presenting a handful of set-piece memories in spatially-distinct locations also plays to the strengths while avoiding the weaknesses of the parser format – you can wander around and explore them at your leisure, digging into the details, but since each is presented as a frozen moment you can’t engage in conversation or take direct action that would change what happened.

I found the story being uncovered very engaging too. The present-day protagonist’s point of departure is a real-world historical mystery about an assassination plot targeting a Neo-Assyrian king that played out in Ninevah (modern-day Mosul, in Iraq), with a dispossessed son the prime suspect. As you work through the game’s puzzles, you see events proceed both forward and backwards from a few key points, and also get to occupy the perspectives of a few different characters, which leads to some entertaining twists and reversals. Unsurprisingly, the period details are great, with the occasional dry bit of humor helping liven things up:

“His Majesty Siin-ahhe-eriba, Great King, Mighty King, King of the World, King of Assyria, King of the Four Quarters, the capable shepherd, favorite of the Great Gods, guardian of truth, he who loves justice, renders assistance, offers aid to the weak, and strives after good deeds, the Perfect Man, the virile warrior, foremost of all rulers, the bridle that tames the rebellious, the one who strikes his enemies with lightning—”

[The messenger] cuts off abruptly, glancing around. The tone of the crowd has become decidedly hostile.

Situating the action in an imagined mindscape also frees the game from plodding literalism – here’s one of my favorite bits of description:

The architecture here looks Assyrian—it must be Nineveh, the same place your body is in the real world. But the lamassu are taller than a three-story building, the ceilings so high they’re lost in the clouds. This is Nineveh as remembered by its enemies, majestic and imposing, larger than life.

Bits and pieces of a dozen rooms meet at odd angles, columns blocking doorways, hallways slicing through walls. The doorway to the north is grand and richly decorated, while the one to the east is too dark to see.

As for what you do in this fantastic setting – well, it’s largely medium dry goods puzzles. There are locked doors, areas of darkness that need to be illuminated before you can traverse them, mechanisms to fiddle with… they’re nothing you haven’t seen before, and despite the overall smoothness of the experience there were a couple that felt like they could have used another bit of polish to add synonyms and alternate syntax (details in transcript, but [spoiler]LIFT BAR WITH SPEAR[/spoiler] and [spoiler]LIGHT LAMP WITH TORCH[/spoiler] feel like they should have worked without requiring additional hoop-jumping) and one traversal puzzle where I knew exactly what I wanted to do, and after a fair bit of trial and error eventually managed it, but I’m still not quite sure exactly what I did differently the third time that finally made things work.

Those are pretty minor implementation complaints, though – I’m sure future updates will address those rough patches, and in the meantime there are copious clues to help if a player does get temporarily stymied. And given the originality of everything else on display, having puzzles that serve primarily to pace things out and don’t try to steal the spotlight from the exposition and narrative beats is a reasonable choice, even if it is less exciting than the complex magic system of Wise-Woman’s Dog. Forensic Necromancy was a great way to start out the Comp, and heck, I’d be ecstatic about paying my taxes if this was the kind of stuff they funded.

Forensic-Necromancy mr.txt (120.5 KB)

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Ass in the Woods, by Alice Vartevanian

There’s been a lot of discussion of adaptation in the discourse recently: what, if anything, is owed to source material? Does that answer change depending on whether the author is still around, or if they’re long since gone? Is using an existing work as a lens on your own preoccupations a bracing way of demonstrating contemporary relevance, or an act of literary plunder? Both? Neither?

There probably aren’t any Shakespeare scholars waiting to charge into the discussion of Ass in the Woods the way that Emily Wilson went after Nolan’s Odyssey, but the dynamics aren’t actually that far apart. Despite initially thinking the title was previewing an entirely different experience, this choice-based work is a riff on A Midsummer Night’s Dream, placing the player as a nameless witness to some of the comedy’s key sequences. But much like a sirens-and-cyclops-only adaptation of Homer, only the flashiest bits of the plot are kept: there’s a bit of fairy king Oberon and fairy queen Titania squabbling, a lot of Bottom hogging the spotlight after he’s been transformed into his half-donkey shape, and the sprite Puck’s mischief-making sprinkled throughout, but the lovers whose travails are the central but arguably least-novel element of the original play are nowhere in evidence.

There’s a case to be made for the all killer no filler adaptation, especially since this is a sprightly bit of IF that says its piece and gets off-stage in twenty minutes or so – I can’t say that I genuinely missed Hermia and Helena or the noxious Demetrius, not when Ass in the Woods offers set-pieces like Bottom capering about to the delight of an audience of screaming fairies (I’m not usually one who overvalues graphics in IF, but the intentionally-clumsy photoshop of a dude with a giant donkey pasted over his face dancing on stage while fairies pasted next to spotlights hover overhead is hilarious) or gives you an opportunity to tell Oberon the home truth that he’s a crappy husband.

It’s not even theme-park Shakespeare, but there’s definitely fun to be had, even if the writing is a bit more typo-laden and pedestrian than I’d prefer. Like, here’s Puck’s introductory speech:

How did I miss you? This is why I say, “All for one prank, one prank for all”. Now, you’ll ask “Who I am? - I’m Puck” and “Why am I here? - Pranks”. Questions done and sorted. Now, we can have fun.

Hopefully it’s not too snobbish to note that that’s not exactly improving upon “I am that merry wanderer of the night…”

More broadly, though, Ass in the Wood’s orientation towards Midsummer Night’s Dream strikes me as a bit confused. I don’t think it works well as an attempt to tell an independent story with these characters – my sense is that it would be mostly incomprehensible to those not familiar with the basic setup – but the game also doesn’t seem especially interested in engaging with Shakespear’s play, either. Like, the plot here ultimately comes down to the effect Bottom’s ego trip is having on the other members of his troupe, and where most of the choices in the earlier bits are purely expressive or cosmetic, here your decisions about what to say can either lead to a bad ending where they go their separate ways, or a happy one where he tames his prima-donna tendencies and they all hit the road together. But beyond being an uncharacteristically maudlin note given what’s come before, this changes Shakespeare’s setup quite drastically – it’s a reasonable riff on Bottom’s behavior in the play, but a big part of the joke there is that he and the rest of the actors are terrible, moonlighting tradesmen whose po-faced attempts at tragedy leave the other characters reeling with laughter.

Is playing the conflict here straight an attempt to reclaim dignity for these working-class amateurs that the original play holds up as objects of ridicule? Umm, maybe, but I’m not sure what that has to do with the abbreviated conflict between Titania and Oberon, which is likewise significantly shifted (there’s no Indian page in sight, thankfully). And Bottom still comes off like a conceited jerk, just one who in some endings can get over himself – plus the whole crew sure seem like professional actors in Ass in the Woods, which undercuts some elements of the critique, if critique it is.

All told I’m not sure that the game is an updating of Midsummer Night’s Dream or a reimagining of it or an examination of its contradictions or oversights: it just feels like a bunch of funny stuff that uses some of the same characters and some of the same plot bits for its jokes without worrying too much about what it’s saying about what’s come before. And you know, maybe that’s fine – not every adaptation needs to launch a thousand think-pieces.

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Thank you so much for the review!

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Out by Midnight, by Arthur DiBianca

At this late date, is there juice left to squeeze out of the Verdeterre-like? A baker’s-dozen years one from the inaugural entry in the subgenre, we’ve seen at least five or six other runs at the collect-treasures-under-time-pressure premise, from swapping out the pirate milieu for sci-fi (Dark Star) or Egyptology (Curse of the Scarab), making the map much bigger and more complex (Sugarlawn) or smaller and more manageable (Museum Heist). I don’t think we’ve seen a limited-parser take, though, so it makes sense that Arthur DiBianca would throw his hat in the ring.

The signature elements of the author’s recent games are all on offer here: there’s a slick map to make navigation a breeze; actions are limited to movement, observation, a general “use” verb, and various meta commands; and there’s a post-game achievement system that kicks once you’ve managed a basic win and encourages you to take on trickier challenges. It makes for a slick, easy-to-get-into experience, and the setup – you’re on a scavenger hunt in a spooky manor – likewise is immediately intuitive. Since this is an optimization game, your eyes will glaze over after the fourth or fifth time you read the same bit of prose, but the writing is certainly fun enough when you first encounter it (I liked the wry note, upon checking out the dilapidated surroundings, that “it would be nice if ‘dead plant’ were an item on your scavenger list, because it would be so easy to get”), and unobtrusive enough to get out of the way thereafter.

And there’s a whole lot of thereafter, as even getting to the basic winning condition requires a good amount of iteration. There are ten categories on your to-collect list, some of which can be satisfied by more than one item you can find in the mansion, but you need to collect all ten and leave the mansion before midnight. The game starts at 7, but time goes fast since working through the house’s various challenges – picking locks, untying knots, cracking a safe the old-fashioned way – can make 15 or 20 minute elapse in a single action. It quickly becomes clear that many of these barriers have workarounds: there are keys and tools that can make a task that otherwise would eat up 17 minutes take only 2 instead. But with something like a dozen keys and 7 or 8 tools to keep track of on top of stuff you need to collect, it takes a bunch of resets to run down all the permutations and figure out whether the lubricant, the paint remover, the grabber, or the magnet on a string would help you speedrun any particular “puzzle.” The game does offer some support – that map is super helpful, and there’s a RECALL command that gives you an instant download on everything you’ve learned about a room and its contents – but you definitely will need to take a bunch of notes, and might even want to consider a spreadsheet.

Now, I’m the kind of sicko who usually gets excited when I get to fire up Excel alongside a piece of IF, and have generally gotten most of not all of the challenge-mode achievements in the author’s previous games (even the sokoban one!) but I confess that while the bones of the design here are good, I wasn’t sure I’d have the motivation to power through to even the basic ending. Partially this is because the difficulty curve is steep: blundering your way through the house sufficiently fast to check off six or seven categories isn’t too hard, but close only counts in horseshoes and hand-grenades, not haunted houses. I don’t think getting to eight or nine, much less all ten, is possible without wrapping your brain around a fairly complex web of dependencies and choices: you need tool X to get treasure Y quickly, but that means finding key Z which is all the way on the other floor; or maybe you could go for treasure A for that category instead, which requires tool B which you know you’ll already need to get treasure C, so it might wind up being faster even though you’ll need two different keys to get to A. Or actually might it be the case that all this rigmarole is more trouble than it’s worth, and grabbing treasure Y the slow, no-tool-or-key way, will wind up being faster at the end of the day than jumping through all these hoops?

But the overall challenge level wasn’t the only factor for me – there’s also a real dearth of dopamine-hits along the way. In a typical Verdeterre-like, as you go through runs, you’ll find new treasures, solve traditional IF puzzles to get them, and unlock shortcuts. There’s a regular drip of discovery with your increasing knowledge opening up new options and opportunities: progress is usually binary (did you solve the puzzle, yes or no), with the impact on your score more granular (maybe the new treasure is worth $10, but maybe it’s worth $100!) – and at the end of that process, you sit down to chart the optimal path.

Here, by contrast, you can brute-force every puzzle the first time you encounter it; you’ll see everything there is to see in a room on your initial visit. Sure, much of the middle-game does involve tracking puzzle-like interactions like seeing which tool works on which barrier, but you’ll always know what’s on the other side of the barrier in advance: there’s no narrative reward, just the knowledge of how much time you can now save. And because you need to get one of each category of item, with all of them counting exactly the same, there’s no thrill from finding something especially exciting: it’s the reverse of the usual Verdeterre approach, with progress entirely granular (+24 to the timer to get an item rather than +41) and results completely binary (do you have one of these treasures Y/N).

For all these complaints, after a good night’s sleep I did put on my big-boy pants and despite the comparatively-arid mid-game, I compiled a full set of notes, charted out a plan of attack, and implemented it sufficiently well that I also wound up with the bonus achievement for winning extra-fast. Optimization is fun, and it’s satisfying to gain mastery of the complex web Out by Midnight offers up! But I don’t think I’m feeling up to going for any other achievements; for all that this is a heavily-mechanical subgenre, part of what made the original Captain Verdeterre’s Treasure so successful was its demented energy, with the onrushing waters and the abusive rat providing some narrative adrenaline to the bean-counting and the aforementioned regular unveiling of new stuff promising that doing the work would lead to even more fun. Out by Midnight is cleanly designed (and so far as I can tell, completely bug-free), but a bit too staid to reach my personal Verdeterre-like pantheon.

out mr.txt (144.7 KB)
out mr 2.txt (65.8 KB)

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Dopplegangers, by Benjamin Knob

Creating NPCs who can be interacted with in relatively-freeform conversation has long been one of the white whales of parser IF. That’s partially because of the importance of characters to most pieces of fiction, but also because of the beguilement of open-ended text entry. Sure, we all know that promise is a lie, but when it comes to physical manipulation of the world, most games offer a wide range of stuff you can try whenever you want, offering quite a lot of player agency and expressiveness. ASK MAN ABOUT HAT. ASK MAN ABOUT WATCH. is better than nothing, I suppose, but still very constrained, and while menu-based conversation can make NPC interaction feel less mechanical, it surrenders all the power of the parser.

Galatea proved you can make some solid progress in this area if the author is just prepared to constrain their game to one NPC, one location, and one topic, while putting in an incredible amount of work, but experiments have of course continued. And it’s unsurprising that the increased sophistication of various AI approaches has perked up the ears of many authors – sticking with Emily Short, the Versu experiments described in 50 Years of Text Games seem intriguing as heck, though they’re unfortunately inaccessible now. But of course it’s LLMs that have been getting the most attention lately, given their omnipresence. I’m not aware of every effort in this area, but I admit to being pretty jaundiced from seeing a couple examples: sure, they allow the “type anything you want!” promise of parser IF to finally be fulfilled, but even leaving aside the broader issues many folks have with LLMs, the lack of authorial control of the substance or voice of what comes out of characters’ mouths is a very big hurdle to overcome if a game aspires to be anything other than a clever toy.

Dopplegangers lays out its design goals clearly in its about text: this is a run at that white whale of creating parser dialogue with responsive, conversational NPCs. There is an optional LLM plugin, but it’s optional – most dialogue is run through chatscript, which is a non-LLM, more hand-authored AI tool, but there are occasional “persuasion checks”, and a related section where the mental-asylum-patient protagonist undergoes a Rorschach test, where a plugged-in LLM can decide whether you’ve sufficiently met the NPC’s expectations, and returns a judgment of success or failure to the machinery of the game proper (if you choose not to use an LLM, you just always fail these checks, but the about text offers reassurance that winning the game is still possible).

All things being equal, this seems to me like a promising approach – I’ve had some positive experiences with chatscript games in the past (notably Thanataphobia and Cheree), using the reasoning abilities of an LLM while keeping it far away from actually producing text leverages the strengths and avoids the weakness of the technology, and making that part optional allows those who have strong objections to any LLM use at all to still play the game (or, who, in my case, have medium-strong objections to any LLM use at all and who are just really not excited about jumping through a bunch of hoops to give a new tech company more of my personal information just to make a piece of IF go).

So I went into Dopplegangers cautiously optimistic and interested to see how this would all play out, very curious about what the back-and-forth dialogue with other characters would look like. But – in an ironic twist worthy of the cosmic horror genre Dopplegangers appears to inhabit – actually the rest of this review is only going to glancingly mention all that, and focus much more on the regular-degular practices of parser design. There’s a whole lot to the game that doesn’t have much to do with conversation, as it turns out – you’re a mental patient who’s trying to escape an asylum, beleaguered by ambiguously-sinister staff, your fellow not-especially-sensitively-portrayed patients, and a convenient bout of amnesia, and there are a bevy of locked doors, hidden items, and fetch quests standing in the way of freedom. And weaknesses in those parts of the game mean I unfortunately didn’t feel like I was able to engage with the more interesting elements of Dopplegangers as much as I would have liked.

As to the parser qua parser, things are a mixed bag. I was pleased to see that shorthands like “X DOOR” work, because often experimental “just use natural language!” games disallow abbreviations, and indeed most typical IF commands work fine. But some default responses are confusing (TAKE BLANKET results in “you cannot take that”), and despite one of the strong points of the descriptions being their use of senses other than sight, SMELLand LISTEN never did anything for me, even when location text indicates there should be. I also ran into some gnarly disambiguation/guess the verb issues, like this blackly comedic attempt to open the door to cell number 2:

unlock 2

>You cannot do that.

>unlock door
Specify a direction. You can type OPEN NORTH DOOR.

>unlock east door

The door is locked.

>unlock east door with lock pick

The door is locked.

>pick east door

The door is locked.

>pick east door with lock pick

Pick lock on which door? You can type PICK LOCK ON WEST DOOR.

>pick lock on east door

You used Lock Pick.

Do you wish to pick the lock?

Gee, what do you think, game?

The most challenging idiosyncracy of the system, though, is the way that location descriptions are dramatically simplified after you’ve seen them once. Exits are usually – but not always – redescribed, at least, but important bits of scenery, up to and including puzzle-critical NPCs, can be dropped from the description, and even manually LOOKing won’t draw your attention to them. They’re still there and can be interacted with, but in a big game with a lot of confusing map connections, it’s very easy to miss a detail and never be in a position to notice it again.

The puzzle design is also fairly obfuscated. Admittedly, many challenges appear to have LLM-dependent persuasion solutions, meaning I was forced into the fallback medium-dry-goods pathways, which might have received less testing. But I don’t think this is actually much of a factor, as a large part of the trouble I faced was not realizing that I was even meant to be talking to some NPCs. Like, as mentioned, the asylum has quite a lot of other patients suffering from a variety of Hollywood-style mental illness, and the game makes very clear that they’re largely background and you’re not meant to interact with them, unlike the doctor who engages you in conversation as soon as he sees you. One patient tries to bite you, there’s another who just looks at you blankly no matter what you do or say, and there’s a woman who just doesn’t respond to anything you say, as if she couldn’t hear you. But actually it turns out the latter two have puzzles associated with them – you’re supposed to intuit that the second one is faking his illness and threaten to expose him, while the woman is actually deaf and will make a request of you if you mess with the pile of thread she’s made by unraveling the seams of clothing (better mess with it with MOVE THREAD, though, TAKE THREAD doesn’t do anything).

Just exploring the often-sprawling asylum also throws up a lot of friction. I ran across at least one one-way passage whose geometry was so confusing I didn’t understand it after walking through and around it several times, and wandering into the wrong location will have the orderlies accuse you of attempting to sneak into the staff-only areas, with no warning to the player whatsoever. What’s worse, they’ll bundle you into a compulsory mental health evaluation, and if you fail – which you will, without an LLM – you get a bout of electroshock therapy and lose your inventory. Possibly it’s findable again, but I couldn’t discover where my stuff wound up, necessitating a restart.

So there’s a lot here besides the marquee NPC system. Like, I haven’t even mentioned the RPG-style skill system that got introduced out of the blue an hour in, once I got my hands on some lockpicks and started trying them out (leaving aside the merits of this kitchen-sink inclusion, surely a persuasion skill surely could have allowed for these checks to be resolved with some die-rolling for those not running an LLM), or the way DnD alignment also gets introduced out of the blue – engaging in a lot of totally normal IF protagonist behavior led to an announcement that I’d shifted towards being chaotic neutral, which is fair enough. I didn’t find anything that shifted me to any other alignment, mind. It makes for an experience that feels unfocused and overstuffed, with most of the additional elements adding little to the experience besides friction.

When I finally did get a chance to chat with an NPC – interrogating the aforementioned doctor about my predicament – the chatscript system did at least throw up some positive results to some naturally-phrased questions. But even with this more sophisticated engine under the hood, the edges of the simulation were readily apparent:

>say what is this place

“You are in the McPatton State Hospital. This is where the mentally afflicted are brought to be treated or just kept safe from themselves.”

>say what am I being treated for

He makes no response to this. He simply marks some words in his book.

>say who are the other patients

“No one that I have talked to.”

Is this really better than good old ASK and TELL? Even if it is, Dopplegangers is a poor proving ground for the argument, possibly because all the time building a big, full-featured, but lackluster conventional piece of puzzle IF detracted from the time the author had to devote to the notional killer feature of the game. To be clear, I think experimental IF is great, and I think Dopplegangers correctly identifies an area where trying new approaches could be useful while proposing a potentially-fruitful course of action. But maybe that one-room, one-NPC, one-topic model would have been a better place to start than what’s actually on offer.

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Meet the timesheet, by Garrulus (aka Jay)

I have profoundly mixed feelings about it, but we are all living in the post-postmodern age. We’re all fluent in the may tongues of genre, reared on media that’s completely unselfconscious about the way it self-consciously displays its tropes and conventions. And as polyglots, it’s no surprise that we barely blink at the most outre of mash-ups – if everything is a signifier, why shouldn’t we lawnmower through the combinations until we happen across something that works? Thus it is that in space-year 2026, in the 32nd year of the Interactive Fiction Competition, we’ve got a [spins wheel] parser adventure mixing [spins wheel] absurdist workplace satire with [spins wheel]liminal-spaces horror.

This isn’t necessarily a *bad* idea or even one that’s especially off the wall, mind. As anyone who’s ever suffered under a bad boss knows, a work situation sufficiently messed up to evoke black humor can also readily be abusive, and whether you respond to any particular setback by helplessly giggling or helplessly sobbing can sometimes be a coin-flip. Meet the timesheet starts out on the former side of the genre lines, as the beaten-down protagonist is forced to duck out from a holiday party they’re not especially enjoying – though at leas it’s better than work – when they remember that they haven’t finished entering their hours for the pay period, and their supervisor is on the prowl. Once you’re in the cube farm, though, the stakes go higher: if the inhuman manager catches you, you’re literally dead meat, and the maze of identical office-cubbies takes on non-Euclidean dimensions.

It’s a cute conceit, and the gameplay cleverly realizes both parts of the theme: it’s split between the game of cat-and-mouse you play to evade the monster and find the few working computers you can use to update your timesheet, and the ridiculous magical-realist challenges you need to go through to keep each computer from booting you off due to a mandatory update or wake up a recalcitrant screen-saver or what have you.

The prose keeps up that theme of duality, but here I think there’s a clear winner. Compare this fine but uninspired horror bit:

From the west, they run and jump at you. You smell their garlic-flavoured breath as they fix their glasses on their nose. <You know, it is not personal,> they start slowly, <I know sometimes bureaucracy may look like useless extra work, but it is very important in reality.> It seems to go on forever, with a pedantic voice, explaining how it is the only way to analyse how you spend working time. As if an analysis on “easily fakeable” data could ever be more relevant than results and actual work. You are finally drained, but they go on and on, explaining the same concepts again and again.

To this comedy one, which to my ear has some awkward syntax that maybe suggests the author isn’t a native speaker of English, but which is energetic and entertaining all the same:

Your eyes are swollen, tired, and your sight blurs. You feel like the protagonist of an eye drops commercial. You close your eyes, and when you open them back, instead of the lifesaving claim of a brand, you realise you have overwritten the wrong cells.

On the puzzles, my judgment is more mixed. Both pieces have their virtues: figuring out how the map is laid out is satisfying, and the stalking mechanics are well-tuned, pushing you to keep moving without being too punishing or hard to read. There’s also a clever stakes-raising moment midway through that requires you to think creatively about how to keep track of the baddie when you can’t see him. Meanwhile, the computer-hacking (in the sense of “messing around”, not “running malware scripts”) bits are surreal in a good way, serving up distinctive weirdness that requires a lot of experimentation and outside-the-box thinking to progress. Some of the leaps of logic might go a little far for my taste – a bit clearer prompting to start trying to directly mess with the contents of the screen without worrying about the interface wouldn’t have gone amiss – but there’s a solid hint function that took the edge off these concerns.

This is an area where the two sides of the game do finally come into conflict, though. The part where you sneak from cube to cube is tense and pacey, relying on simple commands and a sense of danger. The part where you type seemingly-silly stuff into the parser until you hit on the command that, against all odds, logs you into a terminal requires an open, playful mind unafraid of making mistakes, and plenty of time to work through all your wacky ideas. Having to toggle between the two modes created a lot of mental tension for me – it’s frustrating to pause your trial-and-error explorations at a computer just because you see the manager coming, leading me to frequently push my luck and rely on UNDO draining the deaths of all impact (while the distraction would still lead me to lose my train of thought and get frustrated at the impenetrability of the computer-puzzle side of things). Each piece of Meet the timesheet works fine on its own terms – more than fine, in places – but despite the inarguable fact that this is a really fun set of concepts to throw together into a blender, the author probably would have been better off picking a lane and sticking to it.

timesheet mr.txt (89.8 KB)

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Dear Anna, by Bijan Stephen

I see that there are a number of audio-focused games in this year’s Comp, so I suspect I’ll be issuing this disclaimer several more times before this thread is through: since my time playing IF is typically snatched between taking care of my kid, doing bedtime, work-breaks, chores, and so on, I usually have my computer muted while doing so – being able to sit for long stretches and quietly contemplate voice acting or a soundscape just isn’t how things work for me these days. Dear Anna bills itself as an “audio-first narrative” boasting the cool gimmick that it’s playable entirely via headphones, with various ear-taps allowing you to select between the two choices that are occasionally offered up, but these focal aspects of its design were entirely lost on me – thoughtfully, the author’s made sure the game is playable without sound, via transcripts and a more traditional click-to-continue interface. I played through and am reviewing this version, but let me emphatically flag that that’s not the experience as intended and as hopefully most players will experience it.

Right, that’s out of the way, so let’s talk about Manic Pixie Dream Girls. It’s a trope that’s non-undeservedly come in for a kicking since it was first identified in the mid-aughts – one certainly rolls one’s eyes at the gender politics of a quirky, invariably beautiful woman who sweeps into a sad-sack man’s life in order to utterly transform it, while apparently lacking much in the way of interiority of her own. Yet I sometimes feel like it sometimes the label can be applied too broadly, or it gets more of a kicking than it’s due: it really is the case that there are people who can meaningfully shift our understanding of ourselves or how we’re living our lives, and often we actually have no idea what’s going through their heads as they do so.

This is the precarious terrain Dear Anna stakes out: it takes the form of a project the lead character, Sam, pulls together in the wake of the death of his partner, the eponymous Anna. His own narration and reminiscences form the glue, but there are excerpts from her audio diary, interviews with former roommates, and other ephemera. But whether my art or by accident, this is a memorial to the impact she had on others, not to who she was as a person: almost everyone she came into contact with directly states that she helped them realize something about themselves, or crystallize a decision they’d been wrestling with, but comparatively little of Anna’s actual character comes through, even in the parts where she’s speaking on her own behalf.

As to the other characters, this is plausible enough – people like to talk about themselves, film at eleven, and the game’s dialogue is definitely written for the ear and not the eye, with lots of meandering and long, somewhat saggy sentences. But there’s also a frustrating lack of detail. Like, one of several turning points Sam cites is a time in college when he reconnected with Anna, who he’d known since he was young but drifted out of touch with after graduation. She messages him out of the blue, while he’s feeling aimless and adrift, and he decides to fly from Florida to New York to visit her:

So of course I booked a flight. I emailed her back, expressing my feelings — because I wasn’t doing too hot then, either. The world was opening up before me in ways I hadn’t considered, and it felt more and more like there was a canyon opening up inside of me. Or something.

That flight was when I started reading for real. So in a sense, I guess Anna made me a reader. Another one of her gifts.

Given that Sam eventually makes a career as a writer, this is legitimately a big deal! But we’re given very little to go on: what was the book? Why did he pick it up? How did it make him feel? Did he talk about it with Anna? Had he never previously had a chance to have a couple hours of enforced downtime to make him appreciate reading?

It’s the same with the other characters, who are good at describing changes in their lives but vague on what exactly Anna had to do with it besides being there (I still don’t think I really follow the ex-roommate who credits Anna with the inspiration to quit her job and follow her dream of opening a Russian restaurant, because they went clubbing together and made out one night – the roommate just says “she helped me realize what I’d been missing”).

If the parts where others are speaking are overly bottom-lined and conversational, the Anna segments do make for a change of pace. These bits feel writerly, and in a way that I think captures the self-seriousness of someone early in their life who wants to live the life of letters but is still doing the work needed to develop their chops. Here’s an email she writes to Sam while she’s working at a publishing house:

> The work is intense. So is hanging out with these people. They seem to expend no effort and yet get things done. They’re publishing things and hosting readings and writing chapbooks; there is an industriousness here that I find compelling. But the parties, man. Everyone out of their minds on cocaine and whiskey.

Later, she says – not writes, says – that someone’s face “betrayed no human emotion”, and in another conversation she says she’s considering taking up religion because she found God “in a disused shed”, and woo boy, putting “disused” there sure takes me back to some of the more pretentious moments of my mid-20s.

But the Anna sections also feel writerly in that she’s very clearly inhabiting a pre-ordained plot arc that’s more about narrative convenience than deep fidelity to character. She starts getting sucked into the parties, abusing substances, and dropping out of the world, to predictably bad effect. Then she gets clean, finally hooks up with Sam and lives with him for a year, and mends fences with her parents, before the inevitable relapse leads to her death by overdose. We’re not given enough granularity to feel a person beneath the melodrama, so Anna ultimately doesn’t come to life here, either, though there is an understandable poignancy to witnessing her sad end and seeing how it impacts those around her.

The strength of the climax is undercut by some frankly confusing structural decisions, though – I’m not sure whether they’re an indication of the game still being a work in progress (a disclaimer it issues in a few passages when it says some audio is being rerecorded), or are working as intended, but after the story comes to its natural conclusion, you’re given the option to either proceed to the credits, or keep things moving ahead. If you choose the latter, you get a short vignette of Anna’s last days from her dealer, who was with her when she died, and then the same question repeats. This time, you get what seems to be an abbreviated Sliding-Doors style alternate take on the plot, where instead of overdosing Anna comes down with cancer immediately after a life-changing first night with Sam, and then there’s one more, also short, but this time from the point of view of a new character named Elliot. It’s an odds-and-sods miscellany that doesn’t add much to what came before – perhaps the idea is to flesh these pieces out and then interpolate them into the main section of the story, which I think could work, but in their present placement they’re just baffling.

As for the gameplay elements, given the constraints of the format they’re fairly light. There’s one backstory-establishing choice early on but other than that and the ending-related ones mentioned above, they’re largely just “would you like a one-passage digression Y/N.” That’s probably the right call given how the player is intended to experience the game, but it does mean that there’s not much in the way of interactivity to engage the player.

The elephant in the room is that it’s obvious what’s meant to engage the player – it’s the audio, and the performances! Indeed, going back to the Manic Pixie Dream Girl, when the trope works I think it’s rarely because of anything the script is doing, but because an actor is able to imbue the archetype with a sense of subjectivity, while projecting the charisma that the other characters are meant to be feeling. So let me just end this review by saying all that could well be in evidence here, sweeping aside most of my critiques (save for the structural ones) aside – I’m looking forward to checking out other reviews to see what those able to come to Dear Anna on its own terms thought.

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Alana’s Dungeon, by Alana Armstrong and Clyde Falsoon

When I was ten or eleven, my parents put me in a weekend enrichment program at the local college. It involved doing something other than watching cartoons on Saturday morning, so I wasn’t super psyched about that, and I remember being very irked by this problem-solving class I took because the teacher was walking us through the steps you’re supposed to take when faced with a challenge, and while I don’t quite recall what the actual example was, I have pellucid clarity on the fact that during the brainstorming phase, another kid said that we could fix the problem by turning the earth’s rotation backwards to reverse time, like Superman does in the movie, and a) that’s now how time works, GREGORY (I’m not pellucidly clear on whether the kid’s name was actually Gregory but such are the vagaries of memory), and b) even if it was, you could solve any problem that way so it was a bad idea to offer in a class about how to solve different kinds of problems.

Anyway other than that problematic experience, there was a computer lab where you could mess around with BASIC, and after I finished the suggested assignments I would write my own little text adventures. I wasn’t rolling my own parser or anything, I was and remain a mediocre-at-best coder, but my skills were sufficient to create a “DO YOU GO LEFT OR RIGHT?” prompt and then use GOTOs based on string matching to the player’s input. I say “player’s” but I really mean “my” – because of course nobody ever played these things, maybe once or twice I saved them on a floppy to bring home but I wasn’t nearly self-assured enough to browbeat my sister or friends into giving them a spin. Not that they were missing much: there were a lot of entirely-unsignaled insta-deaths, with uninspired quest plots in entirely generic fantasy settings not offering anything to those willing to put up with the punishing gameplay.

Alana’s Dungeon, then, makes me kind of jealous. It’s a simple dungeon-crawling Inform game created by a grandfather based on his eight-year-old granddaughter’s ideas and designs, and if the play experience is rather pedestrian, I can imagine that the creative process was loads of fun. Having a grown-up sufficiently interested to work with you on something like this seems like a dream come true, validating in itself but also offering a chance to bring your brainstorms to life with way more sophistication than a child’s grasp of programming can achieve. I’m hoping this is a gateway to more games from this team – imagine what this kid could accomplish with ten more years in the game!

Turning to the game itself, I enjoyed the pervasive enthusiasm: when you put on your armor, you’re told “this is a perfect fit! I feel invulnerable”, and the amor is useful because there’s a DnD style combat engine, because why not. The fact that one of the puzzles centers around having to open four different drawers on a desk in order to find a key is ingenuously charming, too. I didn’t love that winning requires releasing an orc from a cage just so you can kill him, but eight is maybe a little young to have the decolonizing-DnD talk. Similarly, there’s one unfair puzzle here, since escaping from the dungeon requires examining stairs that you’re explicitly told are no longer present, since they retracted into the ceiling after you went down them, but given the paucity of stuff to interact with it’s not *that* hard to figure out, and getting to the answer made me feel clever as intended.

So yeah, judged as an exercise in puzzle-creation and prose-authoring, Alana’s Dungeon is okay even if it’s no great shakes. But judged as a time machine that recaptures a little bit of what it was like to be a kid and so excited to take something out of your head and make it real? There’s not much else that’s even in the game.

alana mr.txt (12.5 KB)

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Black Thumb, by Bridget Hoang

The identity of Black Thumb’s protagonist is never made that big a deal: this is a magic-realist game about the lengths you’ll go to to make sure your new succulent can get enough sun. There are no other characters to talk to, no moments of self-actualization or revelation, just a short series of object-interaction puzzles that escalate in delightful ways. And yet part of what I like about it is that it’s unmistakably teenaged. Take the game’s single full location: a messy room short on conventional decorations or well-appointed furniture, but full of the main character’s obsessions: half-completed knitting projects, piles of sketches, and plants. Here’s the description of the bed:

Your bed is pushed up against two walls. You like to sleep pressed up against that corner sometimes. The blankets — for there are many — for you are never warm enough — somehow managed to twist themselves up into tight spirals while you were asleep.

In just a few lines of lazily discursive text, and with just a few implemented objects, the game captures a very specific phase of life, when you’re brimming over with energy and relatively unburdened by responsibilities, free to jump into anything with single-minded focus and a lack of concern for proprieties. Like, when I examined the desk and was told it was super dusty, I of course tried to CLEAN DESK, only to face reproof:

It’s covered in dust. Even if you were to clean it off, it would just come back eventually.

Man, sometimes it feels like half my life these days is neglecting to make progress on the stuff I notionally care about because I’ve got to clean stuff that’s just going to get dirty again eventually. So I enjoyed the chance to leave that way of being behind, at least for a little while, and that early-established vibe helped me stay in sync with the wilder directions the game goes. See, what starts as a straightforward exercise in following the instructions on your new cactus’s care-card – get them out of the box, place them on a windowsill where there’s plenty of light – quickly shifts gears. The sun just isn’t sufficiently bright by your room, and the care-card encourages you to try an impossible action to remedy the situation. It doesn’t quite work, but you’ve got tools on hand that can fix that…

Games that require you to type something physically impossible to progress run a big risk, because while the payoff of seeing your out-of-left-field idea work is potentially huge, in practice it can be very tough to get the player to take that leap. There’s clueing both direct and indirect to help with this – beyond the care-card, the few interactive objects serve to prod you in the right direction – but it’s the pervasive mood of whimsy and potential set by the more quotidian elements of Black Thumb’s intro that helped make this moment land for me, in both puzzle-design and thematic terms. There are a few small infelicities of the kind that bedevil many authors making their Comp debuts – trying to TOUCH stuff gives you customized text as well as the default “you feel nothing unexpected” response, the special one-time thing that happens when you TAKE GLOVE fires on subsequent attempts too, and the logic of making a clay jar fireproof by stuffing it with paper eludes me. But who cares when the author is offering something so clever, lyrical, self-possessed, and absolutely committed to its vision?

black thumb mr.txt (33.9 KB)

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Everyone’s Invited, by Will Beneteau

The eternal debate about whether fiction needs sympathetic characters is, I think, mostly wrong-headed – like, if you frame to the question in those terms, it’s easy to get muddled. It’s obvious that insisting that a story’s protagonist have a big “look, here’s the good guy” sign flashing over them is unnecessary and kin of callow, but at the same time it’s also obvious that anyone who’s read (or watched movies, or played games…) widely will have walked away from a book (or movie or game) annoying at what a waste of time and/or nihilistic mess it was, with that impression based largely on the characters all being utter assholes.

What squares the circle is realizing that what’s at issue here isn’t sympathy as such, it’s whether anybody is a good hang. I 100% do not sympathize with its nameless narrator, but Notes from Underground works because for all that he’s an irredeemable misanthrope, he’s got a way with words, he’s got something to say, there’s an odd anti-charisma in his self-abnegating antics. This isn’t a theory to endorse in real life, of course – sociopathic narcissists who are intermittently amusing so long as they’re not victimizing *you* are not good people to hang around with! – but it hasn’t steered me wrong in fiction (with the important caveat that the author can’t have been too charmed by the terrible person they’ve created).

The narrator of Everyone’s Invited is maaaybe sympathetic, if you squint: he (I’m not sure if gender is ever definitively nailed down, but let’s be real, this is a dude) may be pathologically unpleasant about pushing others away and have developed an incredibly off-putting superiority complex to cover for his antisocial tendencies, but when he goes to a party and gets overwhelmed by all the strangers he races for the bathroom, because at least he can be along in there for a little while, and buddy, I get it. There are also indications that he wasn’t always this way, and a bad experience with a close friend has led him to becoming this closed-off. So even though his head isn’t a fun place to be, it’s pretty clear that the author isn’t endorsing his awful opinions, and we’re meant to stand apart from them and, perhaps, pity him as he’s tested in a cosmic-horror phantasmagoria that’s also, as I mentioned, a totally normal apartment party.

So that’s all fine, but there are still two problems. The first is that, as adverted to above, he’s just a total drip. He’s constantly judging people for being vapid, but just does so silently in his head, with no withering bon mots uttered or even thought. He just goes along with whatever he’s prodded to do, protesting on the inside but drifting along in practice. He’s reticent to share his backstory, and speaks in direct language that’s largely devoid of insight or flair. And the second problem is that, for all that he loudly insists that he wants to be alone, you just can’t get rid of this motherfucker.

See, Everyone’s Invited is written in a custom, visual-novel style system that illustrates its story with pulsating, EGA-palette graphics, which helps provide some apt vibes for the low-fi horror here on offer. But it also takes a page from VNs in requiring you to page through short passages of text one at a time, each of which unscrolls in glacier-slow timed text that can’t be skipped through or even, contra the false promise of the about text, sped up (allegedly the C key will manage this feat, but couldn’t figure it out and let me tell you I was highly motivated to try).

It makes for a maddening experience the first time out, but what’s worse is that the game appears to be structured as a loop. After playing through the intro and reaching the surreal party full of strangers, I was given a choice of three places to go, and after picking one, a medium-length vignette played out, I reached an equivocal climax – and then found myself back at the front door of the party, forced to go through the lengthy and molasses-paced dialogue before I once more hit that three-way choice. And then it happened again, and again. From looking at the spoiler file that comes with the game, there might have been a fourth branch waiting for me, since one of the three core choices has two variants, at which point the experience might have blessedly come to a halt – but after spending 40 minutes on a game alleged to be 15 minutes or less, with half of that time hammering on the keyboard desperately wishing I could skip stuff I’d already seen and/or praying for death, I couldn’t muster the strength of character to go any further.

Again, I don’t mind a game with a protagonist who’s an awesome person. But the combination of a design that’s contemptuous of the player’s time, with a main character who doesn’t say much compelling, either in substance or in style, when he’s got the floor, is deadly. Holden Caulfield, let me never complain of you again; Bartleby the Scrivener, your monomaniacal noncompliance is divine inspiration by comparison; Iris Murdoch, I apologize for everything bad I ever said about the Black Prince; Becky Sharp, I always thought you were amazing, please just take me away from this place!

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The Golden King, by Damon L. Wakes

In most areas of IF, I feel very well-qualified to offer my opinions: I’ve played and reviewed hundreds and hundreds of games by this point, and I’ve written both a puzzlefest and a narrative-focused game, which are experiences that made me spend a bunch of time thinking about issues of craft that are pretty broadly applicable. I’m also a middle-aged white guy, which helps with the whole not-overly-questioning-whether-the-world-needs-to-hear-my-judgments thing. But there are definitely categories where I don’t have the lived experience or theoretical tools to feel like I have much of interest to share. And short, sharp aesthetic experiences that rely as much on graphics and audio as on writing and design are pretty much my kryptonite – so guess what The Golden King is?

At least this is a short game – I took about 7 minutes to play through it twice – so I was able to turn on the audio, which is good since there are no subtitles and you really need to hear the narration to get what’s going on. The game’s a retelling of the King Midas myth, in graphical form: you control a chess king and use the arrow keys to move it through a small checkerboard area, with the voice-over giving you the backstory and commenting on the action. There’s nothing to do but to go down the hallway and move through the three rooms one offer – one represents the palace grounds, filled with trees, another has other chessmen standing in for your courtiers and soldiers, and in the center is a high table piled with food, behind which stand a queen and pawn (your family). As you move, you turn everything next to you into gold, including the ground, the walls, and of course, the people and things you encounter.

The key twist here is that this is an unrepentant Midas: rather than falling into despair at seeing his loved ones turned to brilliant but dead gold, and unable to eat food that’s transformed into metal in his throat, he actually thinks this is great, somehow managing to sustain himself from pure satiated greed, and his powers wind up expanding until they create an ending very different from the canonical myth. The story is quite abbreviated, and more focused on O Henry wit than pathos, but it’s still well done, I think, and obviously has some contemporary resonance even if there’s not a lot to be done with it. The language is good, adopting an elevated register appropriate to the myth without being portentous. Since there are no subtitles possibly I’m slightly misquoting, but here’s a 90% accurate transcription of what you hear when you blunder into the forest area:

The king delighted at seeing the plants and animals in the palace grounds transformed into trinkets more lovely than any his craftsmen could cast.

The graphic and audio touches also help sell the arc – especially the sound, which sees different tracks of ambient noise drop off as you progress, replaced by an austere and dreadful wind.

It all seems to work well, but again, I feel I’m on thin ice as a critic; Golden King is more about mood and vibes than anything else, and the audiovisual elements are load-bearing ones, so I wish I could say something more useful than just “they seem good”. But they do seem good, albeit in service to a narrative that’s not especially robust or interesting in itself; if you turned just the words into a Twine or Inform game, I think most players would shrug at its simplicity and linearity (possibly there’s an alternate path through the game if you simply stay put and refuse to turn everything and everyone around you to gold, but having worked myself into a lather about the way Everyone’s Invited tried my patience, I didn’t have the self-control to give this a real go). That’s not a critique of Golden King as much as it is of my own limitations, though – I may not be champing at the bit to be the world’s second-most-prolific reviewer of highly-curated aesthetically bold experiences that engage all the senses, but I can’t object to seeing one or two high-quality examples of the form pop up in the Comp.

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The Acquisition, by Jess Watsky

The Acquisition has enough specific date markers and references to contemporary events to make clear it’s not a period piece, but this blackly-satiric skewering of the vapidity of lite consumerism feels straight out of the 80s, and not just because its choices are labeled with a Choose-Your-Own-Adventure-aping “turn to page XX.” The decade of my birth was rife with movies and books reproving the yuppies for the crass, materialistic ideology they’d embraced as the idealism of the liberation movements of the Sixties curdled, and Paul, the Acquisition’s protagonist, would fit right into the rogue’s gallery. He’s a wannabe Master of the Universe (the Wall Street kind, not the He-Man kind – as someone who was a kid when both of these things were big, let me assure you that it was confusing back then too) who dreams of being an alpha-male cowboy, and attempts to bridge the gap between aspiration and reality by purchasing actually-not-all-that-expensive-in-the-grand-scheme-of-things artwork, while quietly quailing from his wife’s disapproval of his spendthrift ways.

He’s an unappealing, pathetic character, in other words, a sign and symptom of the decadence of the moneyed elite, and at least in the opening set of passages, the player is invited not to sympathize with him but to judge him. The prose is brisk and dry, well-suited for this clinical dissection:

>No need to hesitate. It’s your money. Just buy the drawing. Just click pay. Don’t look at the VAT. You buy the drawing and you wedge the information in over grilled cheese sandwiches and a robust kale salad for dinner. In your delivery, you are firm, curt, and assertive.

>“I bought the drawing and I’m going to put it in my office. There’s no way to return it. We’ll have to adjust.” You place your hands on the table and scoot back in your chair, as if you are finalizing a transaction. [Your wife] nods once and you hear her sigh in the kitchen, deeply.

So this stuff is well-realized, but I can’t say I found it especially compelling: the game flatly states its simple themes early on, and while it’s hard to disagree that consumerism is no substitute for values, and lies and steamrolling are bad for relationships, the writing here intentionally foregoes the kind of specificity and plasticity that can enliven these platitudes. Indeed, unlike many of the celebrate poison-pen novels of the 80s, The Acquisition doesn’t feel especially closely attuned to the foibles of the lifestyle it’s satirizing – the general vibe of wealth and the fact that Paul’s on an art-dealer’s list for individual outreach sits uneasily with the idea that $3,300 is a sufficiently big expense that can’t be managed with a bit of credit-card juggling, for example (he doesn’t have kids! What else could he be spending his money on!) The art-world references do provide some much-needed context, but there aren’t that many of them, keeping the overall feel rather high-level, glossy, and disconnected from human experience, even the human experience of soulless materialists.

The story structure also strengthens this sense that there’s less of substance here than one might prefer. Of the half-dozen or so major branches available from the opening few passages of the game, all but one terminate quickly, bringing the narrative to an abbreviated conclusion within two or three additional clicks. Those endings aren’t bad, exactly – they’re thematically appropriate, and boast some of the most viciously funny writing in the game, like the one where you suffer a fatal heart attack immediately after buying yet more art, this time an even more expensive customized painting tailored just to your preferences:

>You do not experience the experience of knowing your final act was to saddle your most beloved with an irritating tertiary bill and an illiquid, smarmy asset.

There is that one branch that keeps the story going for longer, however, and here the Acquisition gets a little more ragged, which winds up helping it. The plot starts taking non-obvious twists and turns, and if they sometimes feel more like zany non-sequiturs than anything deeply connected to what’s come before, well, as noted the premise runs out of gas pretty quick so switching gears is probably the right call. I was unconvinced by the swerve into therapy, and the attempt to characterize Paul’s acquisitiveness as a form of OCD – beyond the details not quite ringing true, I’m not sure this is the kind of story where you really *want* the main character to be redeemable. But another way of saying that is that the last part of the story is notably more humanistic than the first, and if you had to pick one, well, I’d choose the messy, more compassionate one over the self-assured and detached one any day, much as Gordon Gekko might disapprove.

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Thirst for Blood, by Zeno Pillan

This review was originally conceived as opening with an extended attempt to theorize a distinction between the zany and the whimsical. But I scrapped it when I realized a) I wasn’t really coming up with a compelling point of differentiation besides “stuff is zany when it’s random and I don’t really like it, but it’s whimsical when it’s random and I do,” and b) all the intro was doing was building up to saying that I found Thirst for Blood charming, which feels eminently bottom-lineable.

So yeah, this short parser game about being a mosquito in search of sweet, sweet blood also manages to hit a sweet spot. This is a fun conceit but also a potentially limiting one: obviously a mosquito should have a very different set of capacities and way of seeing the world, but they also can’t interact with the world in very many ways beyond flying and biting. Thirst for Blood wisely deals with this by keeping its running time tight and its playing field small (you’re looking to suck blood from a single human in a small hotel room), so that the novelty of being able to fly everywhere and being tiny doesn’t have time to wear off. The writing also does a good job of highlighting unique aspects of the mosquito’s perceptions, like its ability to taste carbon dioxide, while hewing to parser-game conventions to avoid needless disorientation – it winds up an effective balance, even if the idea of a mosquito navigating via compass directions makes me giggle. And while the central problem of getting food to grow your eggs is simple to resolve, there are also a few small surprises that unlock an alternate ending if you poke around a bit, offering enough beyond the critical path to reward exploration without getting bogged down in tedium.

I won’t spoil what those easter eggs point to, but to return to my opening theme, it’s something so bafflingly out of left field that I gave a happy laugh when I figured out the twist. So yeah: Thirst for Blood is thick with whimsy, making this small game punch well above its weight. Like, it turns out that the mosquito can read, but this absurdity is presented so matter-of-factly I couldn’t help but find it charming. And the writing is enthusiastic and gleeful about presenting its gags – some small idiosyncrasies of style make me wonder whether the author might not be a native speaker of English, but either way, the occasional typo is a small price to pay for some memorable turns of phrase and a real commitment to its jokes that makes sure they land:

> x door
The door is closed, there is no gap to pass to the other side and a key in the keyhole prevents you from passing there.

> x key
D minor.

Sure, there are some players who’d say that’s the kind of thing that tips a game over into the dreaded pit of zaniness, but by my lights Thirst for Blood stays on the golden path of whimsy, a lovely light little thing that knows it’s enough to create just a few moments of joy. Not bad for a tiny bloodsucker!

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When You Were Shot by Elephants, by Ellie G.

As the parent to a soon-to-be-five-year-old, I’ve had occasion to reflect on the dilemma faced by the creators of movies and TV for little kids: they’re almost always going to be watched by both the target audience as well as their parents, so how do you cater to those wildly different demographics? Often, the approach is to keep the main thrust of the story and action at a child’s level, but throw in some jokes and references for the older crowd that will go way over the kids’ heads (so to speak): your Velvet Underground covers in Shrek, or Buster Keaton homages in the latest Minions movie. The better stuff, though, doesn’t bifurcate things nearly so cleanly, instead telling stories that work for everybody, even if grown-ups and kids relate to them differently: for my son, the characters in Toy Story are toys whose job it is to make sure the kid they belong to is always happy, but for me and my wife, they look a lot like parents fretting over their child.

When You Were Shot by Elephants is not meant for children, despite the fact that the most over-the-top elements of the content warnings don’t appear to be in evidence in the game (sidenote: jokey CWs are a lame trick to pull, you should never do this), but it faces a similar dilemma: it’s a jokey fan-homage to a series of trollish games from the middle years of the Obama administration, and inasmuch as the most-played one of the group has 11 ratings, it’s fair to say that the author must have assumed that some of not most of the Comp audience wouldn’t have played the originals. So what strategy did they take to make sure everybody can enjoy themselves regardless?

Unfortunately, that was a trick question, because when I was laying out that taxonomy of kids’ shows, I left out a third category: those that are just for toddlers and thumb their noses at the idea that adults could possibly enjoy them (I’m looking at you, Paw Patrol). And When You Were Shot by Elephants defiantly takes this tack. I’m looking forward to reviews by folks who get the specific riffs the current game makes – hopefully they’re hilarious – but for those of us who don’t get the specific references, this is pretty thin gruel.

The idea here is that you’re an elephant (armed with an elephant gun, natch) whose goal is to shoot the player before any of the other elephants in the neighborhood can do the deed. You wander through an intentionally-confusing map more or less at random while the player does the same; sometimes they blunder into you and you can shoot them, sometimes another elephant does the deed first. You get a point if you succeed in ambushing the player, at which point they respawn and you can repeat the process. Sometimes the player UNDOes their action, though that doesn’t really make much difference. There’s not anything else to do, so far as I can tell – shooting the other elephants doesn’t appear to work, though the response is kind of confusing, and you’re not even allowed to examine the vanishingly few pieces of scenery (though since only thing notable about the authorial voice is that it likes to curse, this isn’t much of a loss). Maybe there are secret depths revealed for those who are willing to ride this particular merry-go-round longer than the half-dozen spins I took before giving up, but if there are, I can honestly say the game didn’t seem especially interested in providing me an incentive to do so.

Not all games need to be for all players, of course, and I sincerely hope that people who got a laugh out of the original games in between watching the first Avengers movie and celebrating Queen Elizabeth II’s Diamond Jubilee enjoy this one just as much. But as for me, I’d actually rather be watching Paw Patrol.

elephants mr.txt (11.4 KB)

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Uninteractive Fiction 3, by Leah Thargic

In our irony-soaked age, there’s nothing as shameful as admitting you don’t get the joke. But as I get older I am intentionally trying to more and more embrace being cringe, so here goes: I’ve never really thought the Uninteractive Fiction games were that funny. The whole point is that they’re low-effort, so that’s not really a critique, but the core gag, of a game that just consists of a single button you push and either congratulates you or berates you based on authorial whim, just doesn’t land. On a conceptual level, yes, the “I” in IF is often only smoke and mirrors, but I’ve been playing games messing around with that fact since the y2k bug was a going concern. Even an old joke can be funny if it’s told well, of course, but here too the very brevity of the UF games works against them; the sound-effects were well chosen but that can only take you so far.

Points for defying expectations, at least: you certainly can’t say that brevity is one of UF3’s flaws. The troll-move here is to take the all-you-do-is-push-a-button gimmick and decompress the heck out of it: each passage is a sentence or two of text, with a 60 second timer that allows you to bang a drum when it reaches zero, at which point the next passage loads. And there are a lot of them – I kept the game running in a side-window while I was approving some expense reports and working on some emails (the timer pauses if you leave the game’s screen entirely) and it took me about two days to reach the ending, which understates the amount of content: per the blurb on the ballot page (Latin for “misery loves company”) it appears that any players’ clicking advances the story for everyone who’s playing, so my game picked up in medias res about a quarter of the way into the narrative.

Said narrative is a shaggy dog story that meanders without ever landing – or at least, if it did, I missed it or it didn’t tickle my funny bone (and let me state for the record I love shaggy dog stories). There’s some business with a dragon, a Dr. Who cameo, a Cookie Clicker parody (seriously, a Cookie Clicker parody in 2026)… Occasionally a graphic of an ape sweeps across the screen, because we all remember that video where you’re supposed to count how many times a basketball gets passed and you get so focused you miss the guy in a gorilla costume walking by the camera, right? It’s all fine, but there’s no plot drawing you through this illogical accumulation of incident, and the progression of action just alternates various forms of stasis (a loooot of the passages are repeats, so you’ll probably see each individual blurb at least three or four times before the narrative ticks over into the next phase) with arbitrary movement, usually violence. And “fine” stretched out over 6 or 8 hours no longer seems quite so fine, if you ask me. The game was also slowed down by its habit of interrupting the story, every six or seven minutes, to berate me for using Chrome instead of Firefox (I was actually using Firefox).

I know, I know – this is a troll game, I’m not supposed to enjoy it, just the delightful way it’s messing with me. Unfortunately, maybe it’s because of the depressing state of the world, or that wasting your time doesn’t seem so funny when there are dozens of other games to play, or that last year’s Violent Delight did a similar time-delay gag with far greater verve and wit, but regardless I just wasn’t any more delighted by UF 3 than either of its predecessors.

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9 Days in a Van with Your 3 Best Friends, by Nathan Leigh and Nicole Orabona

I am guessing that it would not surprise my readers to learn that I wasn’t especially cool in middle or high school; the traits that get you super into IF don’t to be the ones that get you celebrated by your peers in your teenaged years, after all, and I’ll freely admit that I had a bit of a superiority complex back then, which didn’t help matters. I went to a science and engineering focused college, so while nobody was a nerd, nobody, myself included, was cool either. But! For one weird period of about eighteen months in the early to mid aughts, when I was in law school and living in NYC, I found that I’d accidentally become sort of cool? I’d gotten heavily into indie rock, streaming Seattle’s KEXP 24/7, and since my lifestyle was entirely supported by staggeringly-high student loans, the $15 it took to go to a show in a mid-sized venue was a drop in the bucket, even when I was going to one or two a week.

I saw the Arcade Fire before everybody had heard about them, and then again when people were starting to hear about them at a gig where David Byrne joined them on stage and David Bowie was in the audience; I went to a Mountain Goats show where they played songs off the Sunset Tree six months before it was released; I saw the Yeah Yeah Yeahs open for Sleater-Kinney before they blew up, so everyone, myself included, was talking over their set. Going to so many shows meant I picked up a lot about what being in a band is like just by osmosis, and it made for a very odd period where e.g. my roommate’s cool sister came to visit him and I could actually keep up with her references and drop a few neat tidbits of my own. Of course, it wasn’t long after that that the world came to its senses and realized, correctly, that hipsters were annoying, and indie rock stopped being cool, which frankly came as something of a relief. But it was fun while it lasted!

9 Days in a Van with Your 3 Best Friends definitely has some nostalgic appeal to me, then – even though it’s set almost a decade and a half before the times I’m reminiscing about, the mechanics of tours, merch sales, and intraband drama are reasonably eternal. Indeed, the best thing about this game (and there’s a lot to like) is the way it focuses on those mechanics. Sure, the gigs themselves are high points, well-realized set pieces where you check out the other bands with a mixture of anxiety, envy, and genuine curiosity before taking the stage and hoping to wow the audience. But that’s not just from love of the game, it’s also because if the performance doesn’t drive enough t-shirt and tape sales to pay for the next day’s gas, you’re going to be in trouble. Often finding a place to park and a safe place to crash for the night loom way larger than dreams of radio airplay, and 9 Days in a Van also doesn’t shy away from depicting all the repetition, forced downtime, and boredom in between the moments of triumph and heartbreak. Luck will only take you so far, since this is a long game (and at least in the build I played, saving and loading didn’t seem to work), and so the stakes for your decisions feel appropriately high; I admit that I looked up a map of the Lower East Side for the bit where you’re looking for street parking based only on a vague description of where you should be heading, while you’re minutes away from show-time.

That focus on minutiae sets it apart from a lot of more traditional music-biz stories, even if some of the plot beats are the same. You’re a substitute drummer filling in at the last minute when the band’s regular one broke his arm just before their first big cross-country tour, and as you make your way from Boston to Oregon, you get to know the mercurial and charismatic frontman, the sensitive bassist who’s started writing some solo stuff, and the nerdy keyboard player who’s visibly relieved you’re here because now you’re the third wheel, not her. The game leans into your role as the drummer, too – just as the drummer needs to play the beat that keeps the other musicians locked in the right tempo, so too are you tasked with keeping the band together, mediating their little spats and feuds, making sure everyone gets where they need to get, and hopefully having a good time yourself along the way.

The writing is great, helping infuse what could be stock types with real humanity, and alternating (funny) jokes with more sincere moments. The social dynamics within the band ring true; they’re dense, tense, and always shifting, with you as a newcomer desperately trying to keep up:

Somewhere there’s a tape of the band as a trio with Rafa on drums and vocals but he insists they only ever did that as a joke. They have a lot of inside jokes that aren’t actually funny. You laugh anyway.

The references are dense too, appropriately so given that these people would be talking about music and their scene all the time, and while I probably only got half of them, my notes are still filled with bits I enjoyed, like radio taglines I swear I remember from when I was a kid to the bit about listening to Walk This Way until it’s totally clear that Run DMC isn’t going to be joining. Heck, I even lived in Boston for a while, so I’ve been to a couple of the venues that get name-checked. The only thing that struck a slightly wrong note for me was the way the game uses “indie” when in 1991 the appropriate word probably should have been “alternative”, but even that could be a concession to modern audiences (even at the time, “alternative to *what*?” was a common question). And this isn’t just name-dropping to sound cool; it all works together to create a verisimilitudinous backdrop for the drama, grounding the characters in their world.

9 Days in a Van also isn’t afraid to get a little loose. Whenever you’re riding in the van, you can read a different story in the sci-fi anthology you’ve toted along with you; there are dream that parody text adventure conventions or liken your journey to the Oregon Trail; and there are a bunch of (actually really good!) journal prompts where you can diegetically write the protagonist’s thoughts into a text box. Sure, just as the band says they play “sloppycore”, there are a couple places where this ambition means the game’s lo-fi aesthetic tips over into a few rough patches – besides the aforementioned save/load bug, the last act feels pretty abbreviated, so a few climactic beats don’t have much time to breathe – but if that’s the price of something with this much drive, energy, and pure cool, its one the audience should happily pay.

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Quackenpond, by Quackenpond Admins

There is no shortage of thinkpieces arguing that parasociality is the defining ailment of our modern world; the internet has gotten everyone, but especially kids these days, way too focused on the travails of people they’ve never met, to the detriment of their ability to focus on the world as it is. This is, of course, rock stupid: Gen Z didn’t invent parasociality, just ask the Beatlemaniacs or medieval Catholics (I was raised in the faith and probably still bear it more affection than is objectively warranted, but man, folks got *freaky* about the saints). No, the main thing the internet does is make things more awkward, because you’re not just getting invested in stranger-drama, sometimes you’re a fly on the wall as it’s all going down.

Case in point: Quackenpond! With its Geocities-core presentation and cartoon-duck pet simulator gameplay, you’d be forgiven for thinking this is a piece of twee nostalgia bait, but nope, better buckle your seatbelt because shit *escalates*. See, the barebones duck-tending is attached to a DIY forum, which is where the main business of the game goes down. Early threads where other testers (the game-within-a-game has just moved into a very small beta) introduce themselves and engage in duck-based roleplay are quickly overtaken by other indicating that there are some tensions between the married couple who created Quackenpond – tensions that come out into the open in the space of just a few posts. And true to form, while most people quietly try to ignore the awkwardness, a few members of the peanut gallery can’t help but kibitz, gleefully stoking the flames of other peoples’ relationship issues until the whole thing collapses into a site-not-found error.

It’s a simple story, and the pacing is so tight that it doesn’t have much time to make an impact – even taking a lot of breaks to play with or feed your virtual pet, I think you’d be hard pressed to delay reaching the ending for more than ten minutes. Similarly, while the writing isn’t especially elegant or subtle, it does a good job aping the vernacular of these kinds of spaces, and provides more than enough foreshadowing of where things are going to go, from the lack of self-awareness displayed in the site’s rules (“Quackpond is intended for those 13+ …. mild swearing at times is okay, so long as you aren’t swearing at people or saying fuck every three words”) to the ominous fact that in the introductions thread everyone says they have anxiety, or are socially awkward, or aren’t good with people.

At least there are some nice touches along the way to the ugly, inevitably end. There’s a facsimile of a register/login/logout page, you can choose to reply to a few of the threads and then actually type in what you want to post (though the game unhelpfully doesn’t indicate when others have responded to you), and most importantly, the cartoon ducks are winsome creatures; I chose a skeptical mallard who seemed to be giving the world copious side-eye, and as I played with him while the screaming matches on the forum got louder and louder, I felt we were kindred spirits. I don’t know what’s wrong with humans either, Quackbush, but at least we’ve got each other.

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Thanks for playing, Mike! I think we solved the save/load issue with our first update, but would you mind telling me if you were playing the version in the big zip file or online?

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Hey Nicole! I was using the play online link, on this past Wednesday, so I’m pretty sure that would have been the post-update version. Clicking save did pop up a notification that I’d successfully saved the game, but clicking load just seemed to refresh whatever passage I was already on. Oh, and now that I think of it I did have to close the game window at one point, but there was a “continue” link when I reloaded that brought me back to where I’d been, so seems like there’s an auto save that was working even if the manual save/load wasn’t?

Anyway, I really dug the game regardless, and having no safety net made managing the last leg of the trip appropriately high-stakes!

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