I played through Dark and Deep and found much of it good (reminded me why I like Christina Rossetti so much), but then I reached a sex scene that was too sexy/exciting for me, so I quit.
onto…
Resurrection Gate
[Since this review, a new version has been uploaded that resolves some of the issues described below and enhances the positive parts described below.]
This is a demo game and so my review will be more in the vein of beta feedback than player-focused review.
Grim Baccaris quite literally wrote the book on Twine design, with The Twine Grimoire vols. 1 and 2 (which I’ve consulted before). So it’s no surprise that the game is visually appealing: lush, kaleidoscopic background images before chapters, a variety of fonts and colors, character profile images, different fonts, etc. as well as music.
Two or three of the background images were broken for me; the first tilting image (of the menhirs) and the next image or two after that. The images in Chapter 2 worked for me.
The writing is rich and descriptive, reminding me of Forgotten Realms or Ruby Gloom (I know those are two very different things and neither one captures what I’m looking for. I think Victor Ojuel’s Pilgrimage is closer). I liked the description of necromantic beings the most, followed by ambient nature.
Some of the writing was confusing. I want to point out two examples (because in other spots it was great so I figure the author would want to know and possibly change it if they want to):
Example 1
The monk glances along the caravan, gaze settling briefly on the score of other members. They look ragged and motley, a patchwork of suffering. “Whose cavalry?”
“Why are you asking the questions?” Yasha snarls. “Answer me.” Though no taller than Sully, Yasha looms large and solid before them. “Why were you lurking around?”
“I told you, I heard a bunch of swamp noise and wanted to see what was up. You know," Sully adds, “it’s a public thoroughfare. I’m allowed to be here.”
We don’t know who Sully is at this point (a horse? a human?) since their name isn’t mentioned on the first screen. I had to replay to see where they are brought up:
At the front of the group, Yasha rides his nameless mount beside Rheya and his sorrel mare. The outcast acolyte trudges between their horses, that Yasha may keep an eye on the interloper; as a rule, he distrusts fast-talking, eavesdropping monks who skulk around in the swamp.
Here Sully is the ‘outcast acolyte’.
In any case, I’m not sure if ‘whose cavalry?’ refers to actual cavalry (it fits the time frame), ironically using cavalry to refer to bedraggled monks as being the opposite of gleaming knights, or ironic cavalry as in ‘do you expect these people to come and save the day?’
For that matter, who is asking the question? We are Yasha, right? So who is Yasha answering? They say they told us they were investigating swamp noise, but we didn’t see it.
So this isn’t bad writing, it just seems to assume a lot of knowledge on the player’s part that we just don’t have. A little bit of that is fine in a scene, but if the whole scene is based on knowledge withheld from the reader, it’s really hard to follow.
Example 2
*BLOODLETTER: I cannot say I am not glad to have him gone, but … There is a silence here that troubles me. That of the Devourer.
AUGUR: We’re working on it.
BLOODLETTER: The terrible agon has not yet reached you.
AUGUR: Must we structure this farce like a tragedy?
BLOODLETTER: Is it a comedy?
AUGUR: I suppose we are not so lucky as that, are we?*
This example starts fairly understandable (the devourer is a creature we met earlier) but descends into banter that felt difficult to parser. I get that farces, tragedies, and comedies are all metaphors or lenses for their situation, but what are they referring to? What’s the terrible agon? Is it the devourer? Or related to it? Is it a farce because the devourer is actually not a big deal, so treating it like it is it structuring life like a tragedy?
All of this could be answered in later chapters, but right now this is all we have, and this scene was a bit hard to read.
For examples of writing that worked for me:
-examining the menhirs with acumen
-the description of the Baron’s background and reforming body
-the creepy devourer guy, our rescue/battle, the appearance of the rescuer
-the description of the mirrors early on
For fonts and design, it was overall readable and I liked the speed/feel of the reveals of each paragraph on clicking, and clicking a special light for the next page (helped me with not accidentally clicking past a page!). Stats seemed fun and I enjoyed character creation and the crossed-out stats indicating our potential. I worried I wouldn’t be able to read the gothic font for the stats and descriptions but it was pretty easy to understand, except for when I thought DARING was VARMG.
I would definitely play a longer version of this game. I liked seeing consequences for actions in the form of wounds.
One thing I think would help clear up a lot of confusion I had would be having names or titles under the profile pictures. Even if we had to have ‘???’ for strangers at first. The first scene where we have two newcomers and ourselves would especially benefit from it.
Overall, the design is at a level rarely matched in Twine, the system seems strong, and the writing is good (the only things I pointed out was me getting lost). Great work!
I don’t plan on putting this review on IFDB, as I expect the final game will have resolved many of these issues and I’d rather spend that space saying things I like about the finished game when it comes out.
I’m glad you found it fun!