I laugh at myself.
Re-reading the handful of “reviews” I’ve written, following a commentary on Victor’s blog (here) in which I stated that I should be as sensitive in reviewing as I am in scoring the games, the eye stumbles upon one of the very first sentences, my stated will to “review all of the games!”. Like I didn’t know. September through december are usually my most time-consuming months. I wouldn’t have had a chance to review a fucking nothing anyway. So why make a promise one knows he can’t keep? Well, let’s call it being young and lighthearted. Although I’m neither young nor lighthearted in any measure, anytime.
So, I laugh at myself and try to piece together something from this IFComp.
ON REVIEWS.
I should really stop doing any. As far as I can see, the average rant about how much a certain game fed my guts, the internet is plain full of. Like, you know, TOT’LLY. Who needs mine? Nobody. So, here is a promise I can fulfill: either I write something notable, trying to have an insight on what’s really happening inside a told tale, or I shut the fuck up.
The reasons are many. The two most notable are that 1) I add nothing to the discussion and, 2) too many times lighthearted (and young) comments result offensive to people whose harm I never intended.
Some advice to contestants trying to find something useful in online reviews: look for Emily’s, Sam’s and Victor’s and you have almost all you need (some are left out, but I guess you can find them yourself); check the german site for Text Adventures who has a nice touch on reviewing “old style games”; leave the rest. I mean, if you are looking for something really complete and insightful. If you want you ass licked, you can very well keep reading the rants people like me use to deliver.
More on reviewing. It never occurred to me that my rants would have been so important to people. I feel like a word stated here is received as some sort of final judgement upon living itself. Had I known, I’d probably skip the reviewing entirely. I dropped down some games because they didn’t fit my personal taste. Now I see people sad or angered because of this choice. A reason more to either stop or do it constructively.
ON JUDGING.
I stand on the ground I took in Victor’s blog. I don’t think “judge” is a fair name for a public voter in a wide audience contest. A contest in which everyone can express their judgement by selecting a number from a drop-down menu. A judge is something different. I’m not saying (like, TOT’LLY) that this kind of voting system is wrong. I’m just stating that this is not something done by “judges”. It’s a popular vote. And a popular vote mixes the philosopher with the dumb, shakes it up and delivers a popular average. I like it this way, maybe: Apocalypse would never have won if just the philosophers would have judged it. (On a side note, Peter Pears: the original Andromeda game, “Awakening”, just came in 17th. I can’t see how “almost everybody thought it was good”. I guess you are mixing it with “Apocalypse”, which surely delivered a far better experience.)
More on judging. At the end of the judging period I had the chance to play only a handful of games. They were enough for me to vote. Still, I decided not to. The reason why is simple: I think I oughta have played a lot more games to cast a vote. For the plain reason that imo if you want to score something you need to know what’s happening. Technically, the voting system how it is pretty much works: games get a vote, not being weighted with the other, but with itself alone. So, a game which gets a few 10s is obviously better than a game which totals a lot of 3s. But. It feels unfair to me. That’s why I avoided voting. Another reason is because a lot of games were in a format I didn’t like. We are indeed weighting parser along with web-based, so it is not fair to drop down votes on a single category just for the sake of doing it. At the same time, and this is the important part, imho, rating a game very low because it’s in a format one doesn’t like seem even more unfair.
As stated in my ranting-reviews, I wouldn’t have voted for CYOAs even if I got to vote, in the end. Just because I don’t like CYOAs it doesn’t mean all of the world must get a notion from that.
ON CYOAs VS. PARSER-BASED.
This is a strange territory. I believe there is much more to say than either “I fear parser is dying” or “I hate that genre”.
Getting back to a previous point, I have to underscore the fact that, when using popular vote, the outcome must be accepted whatever the reason why we came to that outcome. If the average player says that CYOAs suck for whatever reason (objective: the actual games delivered are bad; subjective: I don’t like the medium) then CYOAs suck. As far as I can see, the world has pretty much decided that text adventures suck. The world prefers MMORPGs and FPS and Farmvilles. This hasn’t stopped any of us from producing and enjoying text adventures, so far.
If Twine is actually and relentlessly substituting Inform and TADs, well, it’s the zeitgeist. We can do nothing about it, except trying and doing something good with our time in Inform and TADs. It’s not a masterful plan to destroy text adventures. It’s simply what people are doing nowadays. So cheers! Twine is fucking awesome as a programming tool for everybody. What’s to be sad about? (Twine is taken as an example, ofc, even if 99% of games are using that system. I thought the next big thing was either going to be Undum or Inklewriter, History is saying something different. I accept that).
A word on the actual CYOAs presented in this IFComp. Some of them pretty much sucked. It was NOT a matter of being Twine games or being browser-based or due to having chosen the wrong typography (you know, Inklewriter and Undum are really cool, in their default settings… Twine isn’t!). They were simply something done completely wrong.
I’m not addressing anyone. For instance, I haven’t played Final Girl, but from the premises and the other reviews I sense this is a little miracle, a piece of genius. I have to play it to know how much it is a way or the other way around. So far, something I’ve played (reviewed or not reviewed) it was like trying to do something and failing miserably.
The problems, in random order.
- The poetic nonsense.
Porpentine has opened the Pandora vase. As back in the days some very hard, unfair, puzzley game was the paragon for every other game which was born at the time, now everybody is going howling dogs these days. The good part is that we now can have a lot of new interpreters trying and giving us something different, deeper, thicker. The bad part is that not everybody is born a Porpentine. howling dogs was a mess in delivering a concept (I’m still puzzling at the details, although I think I got the bigger picture), but it was SUPER in giving us the goosebumps. Most of the succeeding trials have gone too far into the “you cannot understand” picture while failing at giving us the goosebumps. I dunno. It’s like trying and remake the Shining by Kubrick ambulating the silence of the halls… sounds too much like a parody, to me. - The lack of interactivity.
I stopped playing web-based, this year, when I stumbled upon a combo that would have killed a rhino. First, one of the aforementioned poetic nonsense; then, a wall of text so big it struck my pupils forever. I have it flashing in front of everything I see since then. CYOA (let’s say Twine games are CYOAs) means Choose Your Own goddamn Adventure. I have to make CHOICES. Repeatedly clicking on “>next” for ages is just the modern way of turning pages. We have them, you know? They are called e-books. I wanted to read a book I would have bought a goddamn book. More of the times, choice isn’t there; where there is choice is faked because everything goes on eventually pretty much the same. This has nothing to do with the medium. It’s just bad planning. This is not Interactive Fiction. So if it is rated bad, it deserves it, I think. - The novelty of the medium.
It’s Twine fault. Yes. When I started doing what I do (I’m a graphic designer), the people having Photoshop installed in their home PCs were a handful. Finding somebody proficient with Photoshop was like finding somebody who knew exactly how to operate a CAT machine or the Shuttle. Now, everybody is a Photoshop pro (THEY THINK, HA!). So everybody is a graphic designer. Photoshop is easy to use (THEY THINK, HA!), as Twine is easy to use (THEY THINK, HA!). So everybody writes a game with Twine. Hope you get the connection.
Now, I don’t want to sound too academic. I’m not a teacher in game-making, a pro or anything else. I had my share of panic when programming my games and I will always have, especially on the game-delivering side of it. Learning how to use Inform is just a step ahead of learning how to use Twine, the hard part is designing the game, not coding it. But, for the same reason why I had a chance to enter my first IFComp with a shitty game, now people can enter shitty games in this IFComp. This implies they will have a chance to win, too, and that’s heartening.
The medium is fresh and new. We will have nice games and nice authors. It’s just a matter of time. Porpentine (again!) has been the shining star of the beginning. A daughter of chance, having her cool approach, the cool writing and the cool features she put in her games. People has soon discovered is not that simple to sound Mark Twain, even after reading all he has written and copying his style to perfection.
Closing, three more notes.
THE GAMES THAT WON.
I haven’t played them. This is luck, I guess. It means I will have the chance to play them with no time restraint. Sounds like Robin and Orchid especially will gain from this. So will the winner, Coloratura. Gratz on winning, anyway! 38 games are too many to judge in 45 days. I thought this was unpleasant, but now I can think twice.
THE GAMES THAT LOST.
A very few games totally sucked. Only one, as far as I can tell, were troll-demos. This is very good. Very good.
THEIR ANGELICAL UNDERSTANDING.
Everybody, again, will talk about this game forever. It deserves it, and the torments Porpentine is usually talking about deserve to be told. What impressed me about this game were two things, especially.
- I got it. I mean, it’s not me who’s become more intelligent (I don’t think one can get more intelligent than this, anyway, whoo-hoo!). Porpetine simply listened to the complaints regarding howling dogs and perfected her style. Doing this served me a lot during past IFComps. I’m sure it will serve you, Porp. Keep going because you are doing really cool thing, and delivery precious subjects. Keep going.
- One of the endings was about forgiveness. This impressed me more than anything else in this and past IFComps. It is told perfectly. It is told by a person who actually understands and can perpetrate forgiveness. One cannot invent such things if he/she doesn’t feel it. Honestly, I didn’t believe
Porpentine could achieve forgiveness, reading her rants in the web. Eventually, I discover she very much can embrace it as the “right solution”. Cool. I’m not saying she will, but I’m happy she can take it in consideration. She is, indeed, a far better person that many of us around the world.
As a last word, the most important of all: thanks authors for giving us another rocking competition, and thanks Stephen for making it real. I don’t care if the prizes are mixed up or the covers are reduced to tiny postcard stamps, as long as you are in the Comp: make mine Mar— er, cheers to you!