SuperEgo and Ego walk into a bar; the bartender says, “I’m gonna need to see some ID.”
8 Likes
I’m breeding racing deer: trying to make a quick buck.
9 Likes
My roommate said he couldn’t be friends with someone who was so bad at navigation.
I was so mad, I packed all my things and right.
14 Likes
I was going to add a weak vampire joke but I decided not to — it needed a little more bite.
4 Likes
Best to avoid jokes that suck.
4 Likes
I tried to spend the morning balancing my checkbook, but it kept falling off my chin.
3 Likes
How did I get from Armenia to Iraq? I ran.
3 Likes
That last one reminds me of a punchline that went,
I threw Iraq and Iran.
Can’t remember the rest of the joke.
And here’s on for the vampire joke pile:
Peasant A: The count’s gone mad!
Peasant B: You sure?
"Peasant A: "Yes, he’s totally batty!
Also, I feel like there’s a blind joke in a vampire’s lack of reflection somewhere. And a joke about vampires and all the garlic in italian(-American) food.
A woman goes to visit Dracula. Says she’s gotten depressed since becoming a vampire because she can’t see herself in the mirror anymore.
Dracula says: “I went through the same thing once. You just need to adjust to being invisible in mirrors. The great illusionist David Copperfield is in town. He’s amazing. He can even make the Statue of Liberty disappear with mirrors. Go see him.”
“But Dracula, I am the Statue of Liberty.”
4 Likes
I googled “lost medieval errand boy”, but it said “this page cannot be found”.
11 Likes
6:30 is my favourite time of day, hands down.
4 Likes
Big news: scientists have announced that the great work of the Earth is complete! Our massive planet-sized computer has finally discovered the ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything, whose answer was first calculated aeons ago by Deep Thought.
The question itself, though, was somewhat underwhelming.
“What is ‘6 7’?”
9 Likes
Combining a number meme older than me with a modern number meme that’s kind of stupid is surprisingly funny.
1 Like