Dad Jokes

We need more bad dad jokes around here…

What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the cleaning closet?

Supplies! :smile:

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Does this one count?

Q: What did the blind man say to the police man?

A: Sorry, Officer, but I saw nothing.

See what I did there? Because I sure didn’t!

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A blind man walks into a bar.

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Yes ! This is exactly the style of humor that I love (I don’t know if I should admit it…)

I just discovered: “A dyslexic man walks into a bra.” It’s terrible. Not so much the joke, but me laughing at it for the past five minutes.

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Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac?

He stayed up all night wondering if there was a dog.

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My dog! I don’t dare tell my wife why I’m laughing.

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A man goes straight into a cafè and… splash!

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What side of a chicken has more feather?

The outer one

(This ones makes me and my grandson laugh so hard… so silly!)

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other?

Eileen.

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I think my new client may be a ghost—I’ve been suspicious since the moment she walked through the door.

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“Dad, I do not want to go to America!”
“Shut up! Keep swimming!”

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Do you think glass coffins will ever become popular?

Remains to be seen.

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-Why is 6 afraid of 7?

-Because 7 8 9 .

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What did 0 say to 8?

Nice belt.

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Why does this have me cackling? :joy:

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This one had a delay lol. At first I was laughing because “Oh, quite right, you simply call her by her name because some people simply have limb differences. This is a funny anti-joke!”

And then I realized there was a pun!

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My roommates and I have this ongoing injoke based on the dad joke of:

“I’m tired”
“Hello tired! I’m dad!”

At first we just kept doing this to each other and then it devolved into:

“Ugh, I think my insomnia is acting up again.”
“Hello insomnia!”

And now it’s devolved to the point where one of us will be spacing out because of anxiety or depression, and another one of us will say “Hello staring-into-the-void” as a way to ground them lol.

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It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.

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“Did I tell you of that time I went on safari to hunt a leonard?”

“You mean a leopold”

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Tried training my muscles today. Didn’t work out.

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