Hey everyone, I’ve been working on this project on and off for about two months, so the writing may not be entirely consistent. Any and all feedback would be greatly appreciated. I hope you don’t hate it.
Protect your country and its people from the neighboring country of Lestova. Will you save your country from collapse, or be yet another casualty of war?
Warborn is a high fantasy RPG, or as RPG as I could make an IF anyway. In this story, you play as a boy who has just been conscripted into the army of a country on the brink of collapse, and when I say boy, I do mean a child. At the age of 10, you are ripped from the only home you’ve ever known to fight in a war that you never should have seen. As the game progresses, you’ll not only grow your skills but you’ll literally grow as a person, both physically and emotionally. This game tracks both your personality and your character’s age.
So, will you be a charming tactician, comedic rogue, or will you just be a complete asshole? That’s always an option.
Welcome to the forum, and thanks for sharing your demo.
I’ve not had much of a chance to look it over as yet, but I do have a first impression response — I found the lack of layout rather off-putting. There’s a world of Twine customisation available that would make a huge difference in how easy it is to play the game. Moving the Save/Load links to the sidebar, for example (with (append: ?Sidebar)[]), turning the lists of links into actual lists (with *) and improving the spacing of paragraphs would all help a lot.
Of course, there’s more to a Twine game than styling, but Twine is easy to customise, and there’s often an impression that a “stock” game is a low-effort game. This is especially important when you plan for your game to be extensive. The bigger the game, the more a well-designed UI will help people focus on the game itself.
Good news is that there’s loads of customisation available (though slightly less in Harlowe than in SugarCube), and there’s good support available in the Twine categories here, and on the Twine Discord.
