The simple joys of a cuttlefish bottle opener

It’s probably bad form to discuss the prizes, but what the heck.

Yay! I am now the proud winner of a cuttlefish bottle opener. I’ve been nervous since Sunday, feeling that one of you top 5 placers may snaffle it before my turn came around. But you didn’t. Everyone else: sorry. The cuttlefish bottle opener has now been claimed.

I’ve had my eye on this since the competition started. If I had claimed top spot, I would have still chosen the cuttlefish bottle opener. Money is here today and gone tomorrow, but a cuttlefish bottle opener is mine forever! And it opens bottles.

A cuttlefish bottle opener! By Bathsheba sculpture!

Yay! Go, me! This makes those long frustrating hours wrestling the minute hands of 9 stupid bloody watches all worthwhile. [emote]:)[/emote]

Ade McT

If the money was already gone, I was going to take that one, too. The cephalopod theme would’ve been appropriate. I’m glad you were able to snag it.

Yay! I thought that looked awesome too.

Yes it would. And when you’ve spent your enormous winnings on wild parties and exotic holidays, you’ll be sat at home in your shorts thinking ‘damn, I wish I had something to open this cold beer with.’

The artist has noted that she is Encouraged By This Thread.

For the record, the prize’s donor, Bathsheba Grossman, is a friend and full-time sculptor whose work may be found at

Recipients of cash from the IFComp (or other sources) who do in fact find themselves wishing they could exchange their money for mathy, tentacled, or otherwise unusual little tchotchkes should feel free to visit that site.

n.b. Someone (I won’t say who) just emailed me, and said, and I quote: “Felt like that actually playing your game, too.”

Harsh, but fair. [emote]:)[/emote]

And yes, Bathsheba’s stuff is awesome.

Ade McT

Oh my gosh, thank you for linking to the artist–I was eyeing the bottle opener too! Congratulations; pls post a review.

I would Joey. But I am worried that envy and resentment over my cuttlefish bottle opener is already beginning to cause a rift in the IF community. If, when I actually receive it, I was to wax lyrical about: the sensuous textures; the sheer joyous weight and heft of it in my hands; the aesthetic curves and lines; the harmonious narrative between form and function; and the ease and facility with which it opens bottles, I feel that this rift might become a chasm.

Ade McT

Or, to make an even bigger rift/chasm, you could cross over to the dark side and write a twine game about your experience. (I jest! I hope.)

Seriously, I enjoyed seeing all the prizes offered, money and non-money. And Dan Sanderson, if you’re out there, thanks for offering so many books, so most of us could walk away with something if we so chose. I will try and pick up whichever of those I can from the library. Heck, I might even buy one for my cheap self.

Just to let you know that I appreciated this thread and will now most likely contribute prizes until the heat death of the universe.

Noooooooo, the bottle opener is gone! [emote]:([/emote] Congratulations, and take care of it well!

Well, I guess “wait 'til next year” isn’t just an expression, thanks to the post just above yours [emote]:)[/emote].

Who needs a bottle opener when I can curl up with Aaron Reed’s wisdom at night for the next month!!!

And it’s too bad the banana was lost. I would be sending it to porpentine I think.


Omg you’re friends with Bathsheba Grossman? Cool!

[keeps reading]