The Adventure of Esmeralda and Ruby... - Marco Anastasio

A short tale for children in Twine. No twists, no interaction. Nice drawings.

I have posted a review here: … al-island/

  • Jack

I mean, I was precocious as hell, but it seems to me a children’s story shouldn’t be throwing around words like “lustrous”, “vibrant”, and “motley”. This needed an English-speaking proofreader pretty badly. (I assume there was a language barrier somewhere? Sorry if not.) Is there a mailing list or something for proofreading/playtesting volunteers I can sign up for? I never remember to check before IFComp, and then I’m reminded it exists, come play some entries, and am all “aargh, did this need some proofreading”. This would be perfectly decent (if linear and a bit odd) with some basic editing…