Hi everyone!
The interactive fiction I’m developing now has a demo available on itch.io
https://mossandquillstudios.itch.io/terradapt-the-return-demo
Would love to know what you guys think and if you like it, please do show your support if you do like it!
Feedback very much encouraged please!
Thanks!
I found a fungus?
Yep! A lot more will happen in the full release, this is just part of the first chapter 
That’s my feedback. I think the story got off to a good start, but didn’t develop enough to hook me in the demo. I was introduced to several characters, but the dialogue was limited and didn’t go anywhere within the demo.
I was wondering if your demo would have more impact if it skipped the background and character creation and went straight to the action?
Okay, that’s interesting. And definitely something I can look into. The reason I kept the character creation is because of the thematic extras throughout the game that will occur based on the character creation.
Do you feel the intro dialogue isn’t enough then? That is should be expanded on?
There’s nothing wrong with the dialogue or the story start. My assumption is that the demo is the very start of a long story, in which case the start will need to set the background, introduce important characters and lay the foundations for how the plot will develop.
However, if you take a large story and chop out the very first part as a “demo”, it won’t typically be appealing because much of the background setup will be front-heavy and not actually be relevant within the demo.
This is my impression anyway, and i might be wrong.
It’s almost like you should take a section of the story, once the plot is moving as the “demo”. However, this may well suffer from lack of context and appear disjointed.
What do other people do with long stories? I only write short ones.
Best of luck.