Sophia/Neo Interactives Status

I’ve been getting a bunch of messages about this (on here and elsewhere, which was surprising to see the notifications on a project sideblog) so I’ll just post it here for clarity’s sake.

I’ve recently been removed from the Neo-Interactives’ admin team, so any questions about the allowance of AI or permissibility of project mechanics under jams should be directed to them, not to me. I’ve got nothing to do with that these days, and they’ll be better equipped to inform you on all of that. Please do not send me more DMs/PMs about this.

Also, I’ve been taking a step back from the interactive fiction space as a whole for the sake of my health, as I’ve been very ill and the stress from friction within the community (doxxing, harassment, misgendering, etc) has had a negative impact on my wellbeing.

I have also had to consider the safety of my child while navigating this. Ultimately, someone attempting to sleuth out my address (regardless of accuracy, or inaccuracy) as an intimidation tactic isn’t acceptable, particularly when I have a young child. It’s especially heinous because I am a parent, even before you account for the horror of the veiled threat to myself.

I recently popped back into the NI Discord to keep an eye on Dan and Jessie’s posts, so you may catch me there intermittently (though I’ve been doing the majority of my chatting in private groups.) If we were close or on friendly terms with one another, feel free to reach out and I can see about adding you as well: it’s been nice to keep up with Mike and Zed that way in a personal Discord.

At the moment I’ve no plans to work on a work of interactive fiction, though I’ve been toying around with the idea of delving more so into the visual novel space to hopefully avoid some of the larger issues (misogyny, transphobia, homophobia, personal safety concerns, etc) I’ve encountered, (as I’m already friends with some queer developers in that scene) and also to make use of my artistic ability. We’ll see.

Anyway, that all might change, but a break was definitely needed. In the meantime, I’ve been spending time with friends and working on a novel, which I’ve found fulfilling. Hope you are all well.

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Posting for transparency and clarification: Sophia was not removed from the Neo-Interactives moderation team or removed from the server. They initially and independently chose to leave. There was no moderator action/notification involved in either their initial departure or rejoining.

Sophia: I’m glad to hear you’re well and the break had good effect! I hope life continues to be kind.

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Yes, I initially did so as a temporary action due to a mental health crisis. Withdrawal from SSRIs has been brutal, paired with a prolonged period of illness (coughing up blood for several weeks isn’t very fun at all.)

I had to go off of them after an extended duration of use because they were exacerbating my hemophilia, and the consequences were swift and brutal. I had no choice in the matter, however, as it destroyed what little coagulation capacity I have, and it was quite literally going to kill me. Withdrawal was nasty, though I think I’ve gotten through the worst of it. It’s a shame, really- the SSRIs let me feel actual joy and a more typical range of the human experience, but also resulted in a massive hemorrhage encompassing the majority of my torso. It was simply unsustainable, and I would rather be depressed and alive, than dead.

However, I saw that I had since been removed from the roster over on the main site, and people kept messaging me about that (which is how I found out, actually) so I figured it best to signpost that to hopefully ward off further questions about it.

I haven’t actually been particularly well! But the details of that are rather grotesque, so I’d imagine people would rather not be subject to graphic descriptions of self harm and body horror in a public venue. Well, anymore so than has already been divulged…

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Yes, the main site was updated to reflect changes in who currently is organising the events and in an attempt to prevent people from continuing to contact you about N-I events, in the same vein I reached out to you privately about beforehand. Evidently the effect wasn’t what was hoped for, so I apologise for the further stress it caused. The intent of my post was to prevent further miscommunication.

I mean to wish you well, Sophia, as a friend. I’m sorry that you have been suffering and that my remark came off as blithe.

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In the end it’s basically all a wash, so it doesn’t particularly matter. It’s not your fault that the announcement probably backfired, people are just snoopy, and some of the messages were nice from forum regulars. I feel bad that people reached out to Dan during all of this over it, but he didn’t particularly mind last we spoke about it.

Actually, I do mind that what was intended as a personal break because of a suicidal crisis that involved a near attempt on my life was decided for me to be permanent removal from the management of something I put a lot of time and energy into, but it’s whatever, because complaining about it won’t do anything, and I’m not in a headspace where I should really be getting involved in anything taxing anyways. Two things can be true, though, I can recognize that the community was genuinely growing unbearable for my mental health, while also holding that that was extremely shitty. Finding out about it secondhand was also genuinely awful.

I think I have the right to share that when so many people have been hounding me over it, and also, like, it happened to me? That’s not a corporate speak miscommunication. I am not the one who removed myself from the roster, and people in my life knew I was undergoing a major crisis spurred on by medical withdrawal and persistent suicidal ideation. I did take a step back and it was intended to likely be temporary while I was abjectly losing my goddamn mind. A big part of that was not wanting my extreme emotional volatility (common side effect) to impact others, and because witnessing someone down spiral actively into a suicide attempt is ugly. But that decision was taken from me, so now it’s permanent, and I found out from other people. There was no notification? Yeah, because I’ve been wanting to blow my brains out, and but for the grace of God I don’t have access to firearms or I would have. Good (or bad?) day to not be an American. But, anyway.

I’ve been grappling with passive suicidal ideation and intermittent acute episodes and attempts since I was a child. It’s nothing particularly new, this recent go around, and it’s nothing I don’t have experience navigating, alone. The suffering is almost mundane in its tedium. The intensity of it might peak and ebb more sharply off of the medication, but it’s old hat as a rodeo. Eventually, you become desensitized to it. Others tend to, more rapidly, so you don’t have to apologize for any concerns of coming off as blithe. That’s not unexpected.

I don’t pose a present risk to others, or to myself, before anyone gets too twisted into knots over that. Self harm has always only ever been a means to an end, for me- to outlet off some of the mental anguish and sublimate it into a sharper, more present physical pain to focus on and soothe. I know when too much is too much, and I have not crossed that line during this episode. All the damage has been survivable.

Also, if I seriously wanted to kill myself, I would have already downed my bottles of prescribed pills and cough syrups and the last of my SSRIs and washed it down with handfuls of Tylenol and Ibuprofen, all of which I have access to. I haven’t. (Largely out of fear of surviving it and ending up worse off.) I also, perhaps in a morbidly funny sort of way, have a terrible track record of going through with that properly. Bad at math. So there’s no real chance of me tolerating fucking it up again, I already have been having issues breathing, my health is shitty enough without adding liver damage to the mix.

The major variable has been people trying to involve my child in ridiculous internet arguments. That’s all. The other background droning is nothing out of the ordinary. I stopped identifying as trans in the past because of similar circumstances, and I suppose contemplating going back into the closet because it was more bearable once more was also particularly painful, but its small potatoes in the grand scheme of the enduring agonies. My torso is still destroyed. I’m coughing up blood intermittently, and have for weeks. I have bigger issues than social squabbling.

Anyway. I have not been doing well. I will likely continue to not be doing well. But I have certainly not been having a grand old fucking time prancing around on a mental health break, I did not want to be permanently shut out of something I contributed towards with no warning, but I’ve been dealing with intense suicidal ideation and disordered eating and self harm and psychotic features and God knows what else, all on my own. As is routine. But that is not nearly my biggest issue.

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I can’t express how much I hope you are feeling better, Sophia, and I won’t try, for fear of saying something stupid (I haven’t been generally coherent recently). This seems a little plain, but I really am wishing you the best of luck in whatever you choose. I don’t know how to say it. I don’t know if/how I can help any more, but if I knew/know I would.

I know this is stating the obvious, but the fact that people are doing this is just messed up.

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