Review request


I am developing a story driven game. Already recruited awesome people to do art and sound. The game and story concept is strong and we started to write down the dialog.

And here comes the problem.

Both writer are not native English speakers and we have problems with assessing quality of the dialog. Depending on the reviews we can either find an editor or cope another writer (native)

Dialog is attached (in .rar) and also here:
I’d be most grateful if you could take a look at it and let us know if:

  1. The dialog is engaging.
  2. Are you interested what will happened in the past? (you’’ get this one from context)
  3. Is the dialog exposition too heavy?
  4. Does it seem natural to you?

Please let us know if you are a native English speaker.
Prologue.rar (67.7 KB)

The link you posted isn’t working (I’m getting ‘file not found’).

Thanks! I replaced the link. Also added dialog as attachment to my first post.