"Return to the Stars", but it's badly translated

I’ve been kind of obsessed with “badly translated” game mods recently (where you put all the game text through machine translation a bunch of times until it makes no sense anymore), so for this year’s April Fools’ Day, I figured I’d make a badly translated version of my own game.

Here goes: Adrian Welker - We are going back to the stars. — Play


This is really funny! Can we also see the original as well?

1 Like

Of course! That has been out for a while: Return to the Stars - Details


…I was having too much fun.

I present to you:

"Let's go to the stars", a social work by Adrien Welker

Schwaberg, the army commander, boldly urged them to take the royal road to the back wall. In fact, he hadn’t thought of it that way. Some of your members have been killed, kidnapped, arrested, drugged, taken to this prison…anywhere.

First I sleep, I drink water, I eat, I think about my life options, sometimes I cross the language barrier and go back to sleep but your captors would not eat, and they did not bring you within three days. If you want this planet to survive, find a way before you starve to death.

Let’s go to the stars
Social Work by Adrian Welker
Most people are friendly and helpful. 210630 / Report 7 Assembly 6M62 (I6 / v6.35 Ib 6/12N).
Internal controls. images of blood and violence. Click Frequently Asked Questions for more information.

Your mobile phone
This is where you have more opportunities to register. Do not read in the past tense. The house is next to the room. An old pipe is attached to the wall next to the bed, which constantly blows hot and humid air (the air sometimes melts). … At the south end of the building is an iron gate.

Inspectors keep records.

A small camera monitors your bed.

Languages used

Scots Gaelic


Haha! Now that I have the idea, I want to do that, with an excerpt from an unpublished game of mine! (It’s not as bad as I thought it would be.)

Translated text

Suddenly, the sound of the alarm woke you up in the middle of the night while you were sitting on the bed. My tongue hurt, I couldn’t move my lower body, I was afraid that I would injure myself in the morning. You kneel down and he notices that you are dressed. What happened yesterday? I do not remember
While searching for the cause of the noise, he came across something and realized that the door to the room was the culprit. Who made this? When are you coming home? What else do you need?
Most importantly, what now?

Pearl prayer
Books about Max Fogg
ZIL and ZILF 0.9
Serial number: 2/240327

in bed, in bed
Your bedroom, a small unexplored space, a place where you can find peace even in the darkest and most difficult period of your life: like now. Too bad he’s thinking about that now.
On the west wall is the door to the bedroom (facing the terrace), and on the south wall is the shuttered window overlooking the garden. It is near your bed, on the north wall of your room where you are still sleeping.
The yelling and fighting continued, though they seemed to be getting stronger.
Next to the bed is a bag and a book with easy-to-read stories about the area.

Original text

WAKING UP IN the middle of the night to a sudden banging sound, you sit upright in bed. A bitter taste hangs on your tongue like the lower half of your body, which refuses to move in fear of wasting energy at such an early hour of the morning. You swing the covers off and suddenly notice that you are fully dressed - what happened last night? You can’t remember.
After sweeping your eyes across the room for the source of the noise and finally locating the bedroom door as the culprit, you question the sudden attack on reality. Who’s making that noise? When did they get in your house? Why is the thumping still happening?
And most of all, why now?

An interactive fiction by Max Fog
Programmed in ZIL using ZILF 0.9
Release 2 / Serial number 240327

Bedroom, on the bed
This is your bedroom, a small and uncluttered place - the only place where peace is available in your life, even during the most confusing or difficult parts of your life: right now, as an example. Too bad that’s the last time you’ll ever be thinking that.
On the west wall is the bedroom door (leading out to the hallway), which is locked, thanks to your daily routine; on the south wall a closed window looks over the garden. Your bed stands against the north wall of your room, and you are still lying down in it.
The thumping and shouting continues, seemingly louder every second.
Lying beside the bed are a bag and a book of the town’s history, which you thought could be an interesting read.

Languages used (in order of usage)

English => Latin => Polish => Chinese (Simplified) => Croatian => Basque => Hungarian => Turkmen => Quechua => English => Māori => German => Spanish => Hausa => Hungarian => English