i have played a smattering of the other spring thing games but i don’t have time to play more or give more reviews at the moment.
let’s talk about this one, then.
ever since i played portrait with wolf, i’ve been chewing on how to write anything about it at all – some friends here can testify to my circling around it. it’s not at all hard to think of things to say, but articulating them is another matter.
before i adapted compassionate simulation into Twine, one of its original writers wrote a reflective piece on it, talking about how the most clear-eyed, detailed, and comprehensive descriptions of abuse often come out sounding cartoonishly evil. no one could be that monstrous, surely? i mean, sometimes i listen to myself talk about my abuse and i hardly believe it. the most effective stories about horrific acts, i find, talk around them.
portrait with wolf is very effective.
portrait with wolf circumlocutes. its meta-devices and metaphors only suggest the shape of it, the shadow in the window, the claw marks on the floor, but never outright paints you the wolf that stands behind you. you have to do that yourself.
Note: to refer to parts of the game, i’m going to call things by their release and the “stage” they’re at based on how far into the portrait you are. there are 6 stages total, and once you’ve added your 6th, that release ends. so, the starting screen of the game would be “release nulla stage 1” (as there has been nothing incorporated into the portrait). “release 3 stage 5” would be once you’ve incorporated 4 motifs into the portrait and are on your 5th choice.
the paths that involve painting the same motif several times have endings which give hints about their symbolic nature. the act of painting a cat several times shows a kind of fixation doesn’t it? a manifestation of a meaning. I haven’t gotten all the endings but this is what i’ve taken from things:
- cat: Loss of innocence, a scapegoat, a foil to the wolf, a little monster, animal instinct and so much hunger.
- turnip: dirt in your teeth, starving neglect, burial in the rotting ground.
- boot: down there where i want you to stay, authority and oppression, pressure on your neck, violence again again again.
- astronaut: a bloated void, mental illness, silence and death, falling into loss, you.
- default: loneliness, unfulfilled life, darkness.
poetically, there are several throughlines through the releases that build on themselves. the most obvious ones i spotted were:
- the progression of Portrait of X with Wolf – protagonist, patient, small fires, poet, all on the last stage (6) before you hit the end of each release
- the easel pinnings:
The easel might be a good place for a Caring Person to pin you, like a bug, and Keep You Out of Trouble. (release nulla stage 3)
You’re such a cute little bug! I want to pin you to this easel. (release 1 stage 3)
Make trouble and I’ll pin you, cheek first, to that portrait. (release 2 stage 3)
Put your hands there while I keep you out of trouble. (release 3 stage 3)
i’m sure if i combed through the same stages of separate releases, i’d find more parallels and throughlines.
i relate to this game in many extremely visceral ways, there have been several wolves in my life as well. one wolf stuck out to me in particular, hidden in release 5, and the ending, Who’s Been a Good Little Duck. you start in a room titled “in joyous anticipation”, already cramped and “wanting further limitation”, with the narrator telling you to pick a motif this time. if you follow the narrator’s commands, the line that was built on in a previous release:
A profoundly touching account by One Toucher, Profound (release 1 stage 4)
- evolves into this:
The Most Touching Experience You Can Imagine
It’s so touching! by The One Doing the Touching (release 5 stage 2)
as you follow what they say, “Your cortisol frenzies and zags”, and the narrator gets more excited, commanding you not to stop. you “get flehmened”, the room grows smaller, you’re being goggled at, told to keep up, to give them what they want, now lower, now throb, now bite down–one keystroke more–
That Wasn’t So Bad, Was It?
you’re an empty bucket with a wolf beside you. wavering in the thick air, processing…what? what just happened? no matter, no matter. “Your fear has fermented into something floral and sweet, and it’s so good.” it was good. right?
release 5 is about sexual assault.
i don’t know how to end whatever this is (analysis?? it doesn’t feel like a review…) so i will just say that i’ve counted 5 ts eliot references in this game so far, and that’s cool.
eta: i also want to give a shoutout to the art in PWW, it’s really good. the scribbled art of the collages have a distinct energy to them, the shape of the thing, reminiscent of the language in the game. the symbolism of each bit of imagery has been carefully chosen, and the compositions are lovely and compelling. they’re things to pore over facilitating reflection on the motifs as represented in the words. my favorite one is the wolf motif–it was unexpected and unnerving in a way that made me sharply inhale the first time I saw it. there is never just one wolf, is there? stunning art.
what did you think of it? i’d love to hear your thoughts as well.
