The time has come, the moment for which the entire world has been holding its breath (do please feel free to start breathing again now)…for fos1 and Christopher Merriner are delighted beyond measure to reveal at last the results of ParserComp 2023!
We’re so sorry for the delay in publishing these. Fos1’s supercomputer overheated and broke down at a critical moment, you see, and so Christopher had to pop down to the shops for essential technical components to get it working again (you wouldn’t believe how difficult it is to get hold of creosote and bailing twine at short notice around here). And then, after several more hours of calculations (fos1 operating the controls, Christopher dispensing dry martinis), when we’d finally got the results, Sandra on the front desk insisted on double checking them against her own calculations (worked out in five minutes on the back of a cigarette packet), before she’d allow us to release them! I suppose you can’t be too careful.
Anyway, without further ado, because it’s probably the middle of the night where you are and I realise that we’ve kept you up for this, here are the results:
In our time-honoured, comfortingly familiar and tweed-clad “classic” category, our gold award-winning first place is a tie between:
Garry Francis, with Search for the Lost Ark
Amanda Walker, with The Purple Pearl
who each receive a coveted, fabled, much envied, and (possibly) pleasantly scented solid gold-esque lamp trophy, along with a framed ParserComp2023 certificate.
Many congratulations to both Garry and Amanda, who, with this latest addition to their already enormous collections of gongs, will probably have to get together to buy some sort of joint offshore trophy storage facility halfway between Texas and Sydney to accommodate all of their awards!
our second place silver award goes to:
Arlan Wetherminster, with Jesse Stavro’s Compass
and our third place bronze to:
Dee Cooke, with The Last Mountain
who each receive a unique and priceless hard-copy ParserComp 2023 certificate, to hang upon the wall and display before the incredulous eyes of generations of grandchildren to come. Congratulations to them both.
Amongst the disconcertingly unconventional and dangerously unpredictable entries in our edgy “freestyle” category, the gold award winning first place goes to:
Robert Goodwin, with Cheree: Remembering My Murder
Robert receives another of the long-rumoured, much sought-after and quasi-mythical solid gold-ish ParserComp 2023 lamp trophies, along with a framed certificate. Many congratulations!
Our second place silver award goes to:
spaceflounder, with Steal 10 Treasures to Win This Game
and our third place bronze to:
JazzTapp, with Late-Imperial Sky Witches Star In: Meet Cute
both of whom receive a hard copy ParserComp 2023 certificate, with which to blag their way into the backstage areas of concert venues and first-class airport lounges, for years to come (try it, it might just work).
The full rankings in each category are as follows:
|Search for the Lost Ark||Garry Francis||1||18||4|
|The Purple Pearl||Amanda Walker||1||12||4|
|Jesse Stavro’s Compass||Arlan Wetherminster||2||9||3.785|
|The Last Mountain||Dee Cooke||3||14||3.714|
|Between the Lines of Fire||paravaariar||4||10||3.7|
|Hinterlands: Delivered!||Cody Gaisser||5||13||3.692|
|Finn’s Big Adventure||Lazzah||6||9||3.136|
|Xenophobic Opposites, Unite!||Andrew Schultz||7||9||3.028|
|Bug Hunt on Menelaus||Lazzah||7||9||3.028|
|Murder Most Foul||David Whyld||8||6||2.782|
|Xanix - Xixon Resurgence||Lazzah||9||5||2.467|
|Cheree: Remembering My Murder||robertgoodwin00||1||13||3.538|
|Steal 10 Treasures to Win This Game||spaceflounder||2||12||3.417|
|Late-Imperial Sky Witches Star In: Meet Cute||JazzTap||3||11||2.455|
|Dream Fears in a nutshell||StuckArcader||5||7||1.349|
We’ll be in touch with award-winners directly to arrange getting their physical prizes to them, and all other participants receive a digital ParserComp 2023 certificate of participation as a token of our thanks for entering the competition.
Lastly, huge thanks to everyone else who supported the competition this year by playing, voting on and reviewing the entries. For you, we reserve the greatest prize of all, which is our warmest regards and the promise of a hearty greeting and slap on the back should we ever meet you in person (I’d watch out if I were you, fos1 has a very powerful handshake!).
Until the same time next year,
Our very best wishes
fos1 and Christopher