One Night Stand
Giannis G Georgiou
Quest
Summary: An attempt at humour which fails.
[spoiler]You wake up in an unknown and unsavoury bedroom, in the company of a stranger, with no memory of how you got there or what has happened. You can’t remember his name, but you can establish that (a) he is the sort of man who ‘collects’ (i.e. steals) ‘souvenirs’ from those he no doubt calls his ‘conquests’ and stores them in a draw: the souvenirs consist of stolen underwear (he’s stolen yours), a sex toy, and apparently a used condom; (b) his neighbour is a voyeur, who seems to be watching you through a telescope; © sleazeball seems also to be a voyeur, who apparently watches his neighbours through a telescope; (d) all you need to do to leave this place is to wake him up sufficiently to extract your dress, which for some reason he is sleeping on, from under him; (e) the only other person nearby is his flatmate, who apparently hates you.
Do you (1) wake sleazeball, get your dress, and leave as quickly as possible; (2) decide that your self-esteem (you blame yourself, of course, for whatever has happened last night; you have abandoned yourself to ‘anonymous’ sex, so I guess you were asking to wake up next to a knicker-nicking voyeur) will be improved on working out the sleazeball’s name?
If your answer was (2), and think that a rational approach to your situation is to pad around pervert mansion wearing sleazeball’s shirt, rifling through stolen underwear and soiled condoms and doing laundry for the hostile flatmate (apparently also a victim of sleazeball) … before kissing him goodbye (as a reward for you) … well, this is the game you have been waiting to play.
This might be a parody, in which case I am missing the joke. Or it might be a troll piece, in which case there is no joke to miss. Yet the impression I have is that it was supposed to be funny, but the kindest adjective I could find to describe this is ‘puerile’. And truly there are much stronger things which could be said, quite fairly, about it.
It’s clear effort has gone into this (though there are some odd turns of phrase required, and the puzzle-hinting is not great), but my response was one of positive dislike.[/spoiler]