Love Forever New Twine

I’m new to the forums and as such will gladly move or delete this post if it is in the wrong place.

On to business then:
I have created my first IF called “Love Forever.” and would really love some feedback. I have 37 plays thus far, but I haven’t really gotten any detailed feedback. So far I’ve been told the first image works on and off, there are some typos, and that it was enjoyable. But I would love if you guys could take a look and tell me your thoughts.

She will love him forever, and because of that you are damned.
Through every single life your heart has belonged to him. It is a curse that has plagued you across time, and has left scars deeper than anyone other than him could ever hope to understand. You love him. You hate him. You do not always meet, but when you do even the good lives make you feel old. Is it worth it to know you will always be loved somewhere by someone? You do not know anymore. All you know is once you were beyond mortal existence, and he dragged you down dark alleyways to places you wish you did not know exist. This is your curse.

Rating: Mature content(Vague sexual situations and non-descript violence)
Genre: Surrealist, drama, fantasy


I also have a listing on IFDB

You could try asking for feedback on twine’s forum too,

Welcome to the forums! It’s okay to announce your new IF in this forum.
You could also request a review in the Discussion Hints and Reviews forum.

Thank you so much. I announced my fic at Twinery a while ago :slight_smile:.

I may request a review in the thread thank you

I don’t know if you could call that a detailed review… Here are my thoughts :slight_smile:

I really liked your IF! Your writing is very good, I found it had a kinda slow, soulful, meandering pace, that corresponded very well to the final scene. The pictures you have there are pretty transparently non-professional, which I think is great as it adds more intimacy; you feel like She drew them and keeps them in a box or something. One thing I didn’t like, and that’s probably a personal preference, is the

nature of the relationship; I get what kind of relationship you’re aiming for, but I don’t like those at all (in media or IRL), so it’s a bit hard to identify or empathize to it since the tone is kinda romanticizing it and i’m like “noooo run awaaay” the whole time ^^

Thanks for posting it here and welcome! :slight_smile:

Thank you so much for your response. I’m working on a sequel to this one, and am really wanting to go in the opposite of the feeling the nature of the relationship gives you. :slight_smile: Thank you so much.