Speaking as a fat guy worthy of Ol’ St Nick or the Ghost of Christmas Present, adapting the spherical cow assumption as a fat joke had me in stitches.
Of course, there’s also the dyslexic/typo/autocorrupt meme about the Large Hadron Collider, though maybe that’s implied by the collide her jokes above.
And here’s a nerdy yo Momma joke:
Yo Momma so fat, she makes Sagittarius A* look like an asteroid.
I’m trying to say the LHC jokes aloud but the (supposed) phonetic doesn’t click for me. Can someone explain?
I thought about dyslexia, again, but it works only on “hadron” for me…
PS: I’m so proud of myself of having you people joke about Uranus on Christmas Day!
In English, a word ending in an -er sound can be misheard as “her” so “binder” could be “bind her”.
Phil: Sam, will you pass me that bottle of liquor?
Sam: Liquor? I hardly know her!
[Lick her? I hardly know her!]
That’s the classic joke, but it was so overused that absurd humor can be created if the -er word lands right.
Deputy: Inspector?
Inspector: We certainly will not, she is the crime scene photographer, Jenkins.
Urban Dictionary can be NSFW
Ah! Don’t call me Shirley!
NEWSCASTER: In science, we’ve been learning about what the Eggheads at CERN are calling a “large hard-on collider”. While we don’t have any actual footage of experimental hard-ons colliding, we can show you video of several large trucks, potentially delivering the large hard-ons to the test site for collision. The multi-billion dollar site is capable of experimentally colliding the biggest hard-ons in the world to see what happens when–excuse me, I’m getting an update from the control room-- Yes. Large hard-on col- No, that’s what it says… Oh. OH! That’s science today! We now take you to sports with Craig’s live report on athletic supporters who are doing everything they can to keep those big guys comfortable and enthusiastic during their long hours on the field! Craig?
Uranus jokes at Christmas, giving new meaning to the term “mythology joke”.
And if you don’t get it:
One of the pagan festivals that got assimilated into Christmas traditions was Saturnalia, a Roman festival in honor of the god Saturn(Greek Counterpart Cronus), who is the son of the god Uranus. Also, in modern pop culture, a mythology gag/joke has come to refer to when newer works in a media franchise make humorous reference to older incarnations and their lore, but here, we’re talking about jokes about actual ancient mythology.
side note:
I’m disagreeing on the NSFW mod warning; IMVHO is more correct tagging as "not exactly PC (politically correct).
end side note
N.H. dottor Piergiorgio M. d’ Errico.
NSFW = “Not Safe For Work” means you probably don’t want to be scrolling this topic in a workplace where someone might see. This is an umbrella term since workplaces vary and does not make any judgement on the content - it could be explicit porn you don’t want to accidentally reveal in public, or it could be a funny picture of a goat pooping, or a gif of the guy’s head exploding viscerally in Scanners used in a humorous context - “this blew my mind!” It can also apply to a sensitive nonsexual article about pregnancy or breastfeeding or an art critique that includes a full-frontal photo of the Statue of David. Some content is NSFW even if it’s not intended as prurient material.
Marco initially said he wants “Just enough to be funny, but not trying to offend”. NSFW is a courtesy label for those for whom browsing at work is allowed but monitored and they don’t want to trigger and alert any corporate porn filter with terms like “erection”. It’s also a good indication “maybe don’t look at this if you’ve got your child in your lap while you’re browsing.” By nature “locker room talk” is not PC and we’re discussing ways to stylistically include that in a fictional work which aren’t directly toxic and offensive.
Be aware though:
“PC” or “politically-correct” is a loaded term that has been adopted and twisted by rightwing culture to ridicule those who object to insensitive phrasings that offend people. It’s PC to say “visually-impaired” instead of “blind” or “mobility-challenged” instead of “handicapped”. People who object to this often will use “I’m being PC” as a dogwhistle while using the less-offensive term to signal to their audience that they actually prefer the offensive term. It’s like when someone starts a sentence with “I don’t mean to be offensive, but [proceeds to be offensive].” Disclaiming it like that does not temper nor usually excuse the behavior or the intention.
political correctness (PC) , term used to refer to language that seems intended to give the least amount of offense, especially when describing groups identified by external markers such as race, gender, culture, or sexual orientation. The concept has been discussed, disputed, criticized, and satirized by commentators from across the political spectrum. The term has often been used derisively to ridicule the notion that altering language usage can change the public’s perceptions and beliefs as well as influence outcomes.
– Political correctness (PC) | Definition, Origin, History, & Facts | Britannica
TL;DR: Your objection is acknowledged, but we will proceed.
ugh. what a failure for a scientist ! I should have considered the rightwing-loading above prior of assessing the CW…
my apologies to everyone, and
embarassed regards from Italy,
dott. Piergiorgio.
ps. to hanon: when writing this, your post’s background suddenly became first gray, then yellow; a bug or whatever ?
That’s an indicator that it is an official Staff reply. Usually it means “I’m wearing my moderator hat instead of posting as a normal user.” I have to add it after posting the reply.
I have 11 jokes now. 4 come from this thread and are cool. The other 7 are veri basic and I hate them. I’m not a comedian and it’s very hard to come up with this kind of jokes in another language.
So I BUMP this thread. 
Ps: @HanonO your referring to the movie Scanners betrays your (and mine, sigh) age. They haven’t broadcasted it in Italy for like 35 years. It’s the movie that presented me with Micheal Ironside, an actor that SOMEHOW I find iconic. He was really bad but, you know… <3
I totally salute you - writing in another language is difficult, writing comedy in another language even more of a stunt. My friend who is originally from Italy (though very English fluent) had me read his novel - he had no problem with language, but apparently writing structures don’t match up. American writers tend to be very “get to the point, say what you mean in 750 words without being florid and move on to keep the pace” where European literature seems to revel in “florid”. Books do get a little more leeway for pacing, but I read Umberto Eco’s Foucault’s Pendulum in English translation, and while it was brilliant and I got the jokes, it was a massive undertaking to get through due to how dense the writing was. I actually had gotten through like 100 pages and had to set it down. When I picked it back up I started over because there was no way I could remember everything that was happening (in a book that is ostensibly one guy hiding in a fake train in a museum narrating how he got in that situation!) I’m proud that I got through it and actually understood and enjoyed Eco’s math humor.
For real, that was probably the absolute most graphically gory clip from any movie that anyone could access for a long time. Cronenberg pioneered graphic head-trauma before Terrifier and Midsommar made it more commonplace nowadays. Now it’s a meme, and it’s fascinating to read that they did it by packing a prosthetic head with dog food and pasta and fake blood and blasted it from behind with a shotgun to make it happen.
you centered, range and bearing, all my work’s major problem. which (or whose) is compounded by my imperfect written English (I can read english as Italian or Latin)
Best regards from Italy,
dott. Piergiorgio.
Honestly, I’m not sure Eco is the archetype to follow to write like a European… He was indeed complex and elaborated. A lot of people learned the “Hemingways’s way” and this is what I’ve been trying to do since Andromeda Awakening hit the shelves.
This said:
Since I’m here, I’d like to clarify something about this thread and locker-room jokes. It’s not even remotely my intention to insert elements of misogyny, racism or the like into the game. That’s why Hanon’s idea of showing only snippets appealed to me best. And that’s why I specifically asked for the jokes to be very mild–not only to avoid offending anyone’s sensibilities, but because I DON’T WANT to be imagined as someone who promotes certain methods.
What happened is that one of the rooms in my game is a Locker Room. It was impossible for my mind forever voyaging to miss this opportunity.
Of course, if anyone believes that this section is disrespectful in any way, I will take care of removing it entirely (I’ve already planned a CW at the beginning that anticipates it).
I only ask you, as I have sometimes had to repeat over the years, not to judge me or my work based on preconceptions or half-information and, if anything, to speak directly with me, even here in public, rather than fueling online chatter in my absence.
Thank you.
concur and agree with Marco, and not for mere Patriotism.
In particular, I adopt his last paragraph, which applies the same, nay, much more to my works:
"[quote=“Marco Innocenti, post:35, topic:72886, username:Jamespking”]
I only ask you, as I have sometimes had to repeat over the years, not to judge me or my work based on preconceptions or half-information and, if anything, to speak directly with me, even here in public, rather than fueling online chatter in my absence.
[/quote]
Best regards from Italy,
dott. Piergiorgio.
This is a great sentiment to express. However, I think the very idea of locker-room jokes is inherently tied to sexism (and other -isms). You yourself defined them as:
If locker-room jokes are inherently misogynistic, then you can’t include them in the game without including misogyny in the game. Which it’s your prerogative to do! But that may very well be off-putting to players and to readers of this forum.
I agree political correctness is a loaded term and I’m fed up with people at both ends of the spectrum(e.g. I want to give a giant STFU both to the people who want to sanitize language into utter incomprehensibility and ban everything that includes even a single off color joke or a single character who isn’t a paragon of 21st century ethics and the people who go out of their way to be as offensive as possible and moan about political correctness whenever someone calls them out for being an utter arse).
That said, there is a huge difference between being visually impaired(having significantly less usable vision than the average person) and being blind(having no or very little usable vision). And I say this as someone who has been blind in his right eye since infancy, whose left eye was never better than 20/100, and who went blind in his left eye in his mid-20s, an event that changed my life probably more than any other.
Though I do think the distinction between using and mentioning misogyny is important here—for me as a player, at least. Using one of Hanon’s implied jokes conveys very effectively that the character is the sort who would use that sort of humor without actually getting misogynistic on-screen.
I have decided not to include the jokes in the game. Therefore the CW has gone, too (well, the part about the jokes, I mean—the game still includes war, torture, killing of fish and fascist regimes).
Better to have a safe-space than risking it all for the name of a single room. No Uranus jokes. I will save them for the next eventual installment of the A1RL0CK series (maybe a trip from Titan).
Thanks all for expressing your concerns.
Marco, I suggest to you to not yield to certain demands.
Tabitha, I don’t consider your straw (as in “straw that breaks the camel’s back”) as guilty, because not only that your point is valid, but also that allow me to present a specular but similar case:
in Isekai was plotted (or whatever is the right word for “included in the tentative plot of a story”) a “girl restroom talk” scene, that is, the exact reciprocal (at least in Italy…) of the “locker room talk”, the objective being introducing the player not only to Azuj, but also to the Raileian society; and at the same time being also an homage to Eliza’s “AI” (I 'fess up: this narrative structure was the original motivation for my encouraging Eric into implementing the numbered convo topics…) but I in the end scrapped the idea, because in the end, I have obvious limits in rendering realistically a “girl talk”.
Lastly, I agree to Jeffery about the giant STFU to the ideological wingtips. (wingtips ?? frantically scribbling about wing gestures meaning “don’t be extreme”…) so the thanks came not only from me, but also from Azuj and Miyai 
Best regards from Italy,
dott. Piergiorgio.