I need brave men and women who can be dropped behind enemy lines and survive in a hostile world model. The game in question is called Limbs of Osiris and takes place partly in 1346 BC Egypt. It is written in I6 and fits into a single z file. It is large, detailed, puzzley and story-driven. Please note that this is a request for alpha testers, as Limbs is still unfinished. The game is sexually explicit, so if you’re a kid blablabla. I possess riches beyond reckonig, but because they are fictional I can offer my brave paratrooper only spiritual reward: the pleasure of interacting with my warm and fuzzy personality.
These are just some of the things those of you who haven’t joined my Alpha Team are missing:
a playing character with detachable bodyparts,
a playing character who can look inside his own head and witness the inner workings of his mind,
several hint systems, one of which is telepathic,
lots and lots of superweird sex,
just to name a few.
Look at it this way. Would anyone today know who the Nazgûl were had they not alpha tested for Sauron? This is your passport to eternal fame and glory. Don’t be a sucker. Be a Nazgûl and join my A-Team.
Why is nobody volunteering to help this wretched bore make the world a marginally worse place???! Ha ha ha!
Yes, you too can betatest a game where there is a grammar mistake two words into the thing’s blurb.
Most of which is just the words “GALATEA” and “NNNGHHH” over and over again, natch.
I love this part. Only a barely-literate slop of ballsac like Lonc would think his players are so stupid they need MULTIPLE WAYS for him to patiently explain why they aren’t getting his brilliant puzzles.
Chiefly: having it outside a Warsaw prison.
Annnnnnnd just like the real A-Team, progress inevitably requires that your friends hit you in the back of the head with a wrench for your own good.
As of now, Limbs of Osiris features a pair of lesbian giraffes doing a 69, pistoning each other’s vulvas. I’m still looking for testers, so if lesbian giraffes are your thing, PM me.
No, I wasn’t talking to you, Robb. You’ve been sucking on too many Polish pickles to appreciate the finer things in life, such as lesbian giraffes.