OK, it seems like you’re actually using the dark/lighted property of rooms independent of asleep/awake, so changing dark/lighted ad hoc wouldn’t help you.
If what you’re mostly concerned with is the game printing out action reports for NPC actions, then the visibility rules won’t help you. Those are concerned with whether the player can see well enough to do their own action, not with whether the player can see things at all in the relevant sense. “Player can see” basically refers to whether the object is in scope, which determines whether the parser can refer to it at all; once that’s taken care of, the visibility rules come in to determine whether there’s enough light to perform the action. (Roughly.)
What you’d need is probably tied up with this, from Writing with Inform §12.13: “Inform’s doctrine is that you witness an action if you can see any of the actor, the noun or the second noun at either the beginning or the end of the action; except that being able to see a backdrop does not count.” Which means that to get this to work directly, you’d have to stop the player from seeing the things when asleep–but this is really difficult to pull off. You can’t remove things from scope the way you can add them in, and you don’t want to get into the visibility rules at a low level.
A couple of things I thought of:
Definition: a person is NPC if it is not the player.
First after an NPC person doing something when the player is asleep: rule succeeds.
Since “After” rules stop action processing right there, this would cut off any “after” or “report” rules for NPC action that might print something. If you had an instead or check rule for NPC action that printed something, then that wouldn’t get cut off, but I don’t think the standard check/instead rules for other actors print anything, and if you have a custom rule that does, you can always include a check there.
Another approach would be putting the player in an opaque container when they sleep, and whisking it away when they wake up–or putting them in another room when they sleep, and bringing them back when they wake up. You’d have to do some work to conceal that this was what was going on.
As for handling how other people are asleep–it depends on what they’re supposed to be doing. Usually it doesn’t even matter what other people can see. If you’ve got some rules where it does matter, maybe just put checks on their sleep state there?