Man, this game is pure boredom and frustration.
So, I laboriously compiled a table of matchups using the combat simulator. (This… was really boring.)
Attacker ↓ Defender → | General | Tyrannosaur | Torosaur | Alamosaur | Quetzalcoatlus | Geneshaman | Wellness Guru | Ballista |
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
General | Stalemate | General | General | General | General | General | General | General |
Tyrannosaur | General | Attacker | Tyrannosaur | Stalemate | Stalemate | Geneshaman | Wellness Guru | Tyrannosaur |
Torosaur | General | Torosaur | Defender | Torosaur | Quetzalcoatlus | Torosaur | Wellness Guru | Torosaur |
Alamosaur | General | Alamosaur | Alamosaur | Stalemate | Quetzalcoatlus | Geneshaman | Stalemate | Alamosaur |
Quetzalcoatlus | General | Quetzalcoatlus | Stalemate | Quetzalcoatlus | Attacker | Quetzalcoatlus | Wellness Guru | Ballista |
Geneshaman | General | Geneshaman | Geneshaman | Geneshaman | Quetzalcoatlus | Stalemate | Stalemate | Ballista |
Wellness Guru | General | Wellness Guru | Torosaur | Stalemate | Quetzalcoatlus | Geneshaman | Defender | Stalemate |
Ballista | General | Tyrannosaur | Torosaur | Ballista | Ballista | Stalemate | Ballista | Defender |
Then, the assignable positions are:
- Defend left flank from Tyrannosaurs attacking: Defend with Geneshamans or Wellness Gurus → Defend with Geneshamans
- Defend right flank from Quetzalcoatlus attacking: Defend with Wellness Gurus or Ballistae → Defend with Wellness Gurus
- Attack south peak with Wellness Gurus defending: Attack with Ballistae
- Attack riverbed with Ballistae defending: Attack with Tyrannosaurs or Torosaurs or Alamosaurs → Attack with Tyrannosaurs or Alamosaurs
- Attack field with General defending: Attack with General for a stalemate
- Attack forest with Quetzalcoatlus defending: Attack with Ballistae
- Attack north peak with Geneshamans defending: Attack with Torosaurs
The problem is that #3 and #6 contradict each other; both require Ballistae (and only Ballistae), but I only have one Ballistae unit. It seems like one of them has to be a stalemate.
- I can win #6 and do a stalemate for #3
- Attack the south peak Wellness Gurus with Alamosaurs (stalemate)
- Attack the riverbed Ballistae with Tyrannosaurs
- Attack the forest Quetzalcoatlus with Ballistae
- Or, I can win #3 and do a stalemate for #6
- Attack the south peak Wellness Gurus with Ballistae
- Attack the riverbed Ballistae with Alamosaurs
- Attack the forest Quetzalcoatlus with Tyrannosaurs (stalemate)
I’ve tried both, and the game says that I “won” suboptimally.
And Scrooge the Mammalgirl, at last, could say goodbye to the Prince, could return to her home in the distant future. She had survived the war with no more than a few scratches—but she was hurt all the same, by the memories of the Reptons and dinosaurs who had suffered and perished under her orders. She would turn the problem over in her head night after night—she would realize, after a few years, exactly how she could have done better—and the knowledge would haunt her for the rest of her life.
Fortunately, that is not at all what really happened to Ebenezabeth Scrooge—because (and I hope you will not resent my revealing this) in actuality, she made cleverer decisions than you have made on her behalf in this erroneous version of my short wisp of a fairy-tale. If you are curious to learn what really happened, well! You are welcome to try again.
I frickin’ give up on this game. I feel like I’ve wasted hours proving that it’s unwinnable.
EDIT: Thanks to those below who helped me. Here’s a subtler hint that might have helped me.
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Read the bad ending carefully.
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“She was hurt all the same, by the memories of the Reptons and dinosaurs who had suffered and perished under her orders.”
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Review the detailed results of the battle.
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Who perished?
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None of your units perished at all.
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Only the enemy units perished.
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Assign the units in a way that will prevent any units from perishing.
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Assign the units to set up seven stalemates.