Funny responses from this year's games

I ran into a response that had me rolling on the floor laughing, probably because I’m just in a perverse mood… but thought I would start this thread for people to share the clever or (in this case) unintentionally funny responses they discover. Please remember appropriate spoiler warnings and tags.

So, this is from the second room of Divis Mortis:

> x my head
Pieces of skull that have been scattered across the floor of the Radiation Controls room.

Must just be weird default handling (or lack of handling) of pronouns in Inform… I ran into the same thing (albeit with less humorous results) while beta testing Gris et Jaune.

I have temporarily removed this post until I get clarification from an ifcomp admin on rules

Will put it back soon hopefully if it does not break any rules… (sorry!)

From the studio in The 12:54 to Asgard:

[spoiler]> x leak
The roof’s been leaking every rainstorm since some numbnuts had the bright idea of having a
party on the studio roof. You told them not to do it, and they did it anyway. You told them to
have the roof fixed, and they didn’t. Now it’s your ass, because the roof is leaking so bad
tonight that it’s blowing out the lighting.

take leak
You took a leak before you left the house tonight.[/spoiler]

Looks like you beat me to it. That was a good one.

This made me laugh pretty hard as well. I guess at heart we are all twelve, which I had long expected anyway for other reasons 8)

From Divis Mortis:

In the janitor’s closet “get mop” yields: "This isn’t a Space Quest and you aren’t a janitor.

From Flight of the Hummingbird:

[spoiler]> take hose
The hose is part of the fuel truck; you’ll need to get the truck to the same place as whatever it
is you want to refuel.

drink from hose
It’s got a perfectly good pump. Siphoning rocket fuel by mouth is just going to end in tears.[/spoiler]

From the gift shop in Divis Mortis:

>take balloons
You seriously doubt that you will ever have need for balloons with get-well inscriptions. Perhaps you can give it to the next zombie you see, and it will be touched at your heart-felt intentions enough not to eat you alive. Nevertheless, taken.

From The Bible Retold: The Lost Sheep:

Magic won’t get you very far in this game.

rub stick with crook
(the gnarly stick with the crook)
You strike the gnarly stick on your crook and - as if by magic - you create fire! Fabulous![/spoiler]

From Divis Mortis:

> put can in recycling
(empty can in the plastic blue recycling bin)
You put empty can in the recycle bin. Very responsible of you.

Lots of cool responses so far for random actions.

One Eye Open

[spoiler]If you are reading this without having played the game, understand that you are in a Silent-Hill-esque hospital with lots of corpses and horrible monster stuff going on.

x fridge
(the massive refrigerator)

The tall refrigerator has just one door - there’s no freezer compartment.

On the massive refrigerator are a handful of colorful magnets and a fridge warning note.

>take magnets
For a crazed moment, you picture yourself taking the refrigerator magnets and running through the hell-hospital sticking cheerful messages to everything. On second thought, you decide to leave the magnets alone for now.

From Divis Mortis:

>eat male [zombie]
I think you’ve got this zombie thing the wrong way around.

Sure, it’s not that funny, but in context, it surprised a chuckle out of me.

[spoiler]>search male
Nothing here but internal organs.

A nice slab of steak sounds perfect right now.

x organs
They’re usually on the inside.

You can’t think about anything but eating at the moment.

eat male
I think you’ve got this zombie thing the wrong way around.[/spoiler]

I particularly thought that this was a funny way to lose:

[spoiler]> take scissors
Just don’t run with them.

[Your score has just gone up by three points.]

You trip. As you fall, the scissors in your coat pocket impale themselves through your stomach.
The acid causes you a slow and painful death as you get to know your own personal anatomy
much better than you ever wanted.

*** You have died ***[/spoiler]

It warned me and I didn’t listen. What a fool I was.