Can anyone playtest my Twine game?

Playing Beta Testing Requests and Discussion
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Hey everyone,

I just finished my first game on Twine. Would love some criticism, constructive or otherwise. Definitely welcome any suggestions on improvements to the story or gameplay and reports of bugs. It could probably use some polishing but since this is just a hobby project I’m not too concerned about production value. There are currently four possible endings based on your choices. Should take probably 10-15 minutes depending on how long you spend doing certain activities.

Link: The Cache at Castle Rock Lane by unks

Thanks so much, cheers!

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Interesting! I wasn’t majorly invested in the story, but I liked the mini games and I got killed by the dog searching bricks. I enjoyed there were stats and an inventory and sort of “quest log”.

Minor notes for the bit I played:

  • It’d be nice if searched bricks gave feedback - either a sound or deactivate or disappear when clicked. I couldn’t do it on my track pad and wan’t sure what I had clicked and what I hadn’t.
  • The dog sound and music continued when the game restarted. You might want to put a macro to first kill any currently playing audio on the opening screen, or shut off audio on the death/game over screen.
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@HanonO Thanks for the feedback! So there’s a couple things you made me think about.

  1. I developed the mini games with a mouse and can see how some of them could be very difficult with just a track pad. I will either reconsider how they are designed, or maybe just slap a disclaimer in the beginning that it might be best played with a mouse.

  2. I was originally making a more economy based game and then pivoted halfway through to more adventure/horror so the story really takes a turn and ramps up after the dog attack, hence all the money making/gambling mini games in the beginning. I was curious if the two halves of the story are too disconnected so I may end up separating it into two games with the first half evolving into a more economy based game and for the second one I will just have to create a new beginning for the ending I already have. It turns into kind of a mystery - solve it/dungeon crawler-ish game that I quite like so making a beginning that feeds into that genre might be better.

Thank you for the notes, I will look into those issues. Cheers!

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Congratulations on your first Twine game.

I was able to play all the way through and make it to the end. I didn’t end up testing the save/load option, but I had no technical issues with playing the game itself.

As you have noted above, the first and second halves of the game are a bit disjointed. The first half is about a kid turning 18, indulging a bit of a gambling addiction, and getting assaulted by a pair of thugs. The second half is about a fight with the undead and a cursed treasure. It did feel like these halves were from different games.

One issue I had with the story is that nothing comes of the assault and theft. Jake doesn’t pursue either justice or revenge, and the criminals do not get their comeuppance – in fact, those villains are technically rewarded in the end. Speaking of which, I was dubious that Jake would recruit Vic and Belch into his newly formed committee at the end, given that those hoodlums had literally mugged and assaulted him earlier that very day. I would’ve found it more believable if the old man told Jake that Vic and Belch were actually demons or similar forces of evil.

I liked the inclusion of the mini-games and thought they were well implemented, not only in the casino but also searching the bricks and chasing the $100 bill. (But as with the assault, nothing really comes from the $100 being found.)

I have a couple of spelling/grammatical notes:

The opening page of the game switches tenses mid-paragraph (from past to present).

Missing apostrophe: “Treasure Hunter … Jakes favorite book!” should be “… Jake’s favorite book!”

“It is his 18th birthday, afterall.” Missing space between “after all”.

Near the end of the story you mention “Werewolves and Demons.” Typically those are not capitalized nouns, and since the story does not capitalize vampire it should follow that werewolves and demons would not be capitalized either.

Again, congratulations on your first Twine game.

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@Carrington Thank you so much for your feedback!

At this point it’s clear I need to separate the two halves. That will be my first priority and I’m glad I’ll have more to give this project.

I really appreciate your thoughts on the story itself. I found myself asking, “does this even make sense?” a few times so your feedback has given me an opportunity to rework some of the content. Writing, especially fiction, is not my strong point (I have more interest in coding the mini-games) but it’s so important to have an engaging story in IF, obviously, so thank you for the input on the story elements.

Again, thank you for the feedback. Cheers!

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I played for about 30 min and enjoyed. First time eaten by a dog because I couldn’t find the key fast enough. Next time killed a vampire and split the treasure.

I played on an i-phone. I chose the simulated combat instead of mouse. I thought the mini games were all nicely coded, and mostly enjoyable (except for the key in the wall I mentioned) The story took some odd twists, but felt engaging throughout

Thank you for inviting me to play