I keep debating whether to say anything, because I’m not sure if this is actually helpful or just provocative, but… ok, as someone who struggles with these behaviour patterns myself, let me try to explain one thing that I think people are reacting to.
How about you show me how to properly respond? Then I’ll happily delete my post.
Somehow people keep telling me what I did wrong, but never did show me how to do it right. I’ve been waiting for years. Still waiting…
These people who blamed the world onto me, never did give me the answer. People who didn’t blame me, actually did show me the way. Be a teacher, not a hater.
It’s usually more subtle than this, but you do this kind of a lot: you sound like you’re trying to make it other people’s responsibility to teach you what behaviours bother them and how to do it better, rather than being proactive about trying to figure it out for yourself. That’s not their job. Yes, it would be a helpful thing for them to do, but they are in no way obliged to do it.
So you’re picking a time when someone is already annoyed with you and asking them to volunteer their time and energy to help you. Which is…in general, not going to get a good response.
And yeah, ok, we have a society where people sometimes lean too far the other way, into expecting you to read their minds. But the fact is that the only person whose behaviour you can control is you.
So think of it this way: do you want to be the guy who stands on his right to behave however he wants unless someone complains about it and explains what they’d prefer you do instead? That is going to result in people avoiding you at least some of the time because they just don’t feel up to having that conversation right now.
Or do you want to be the guy who’s going the extra mile to ask himself, “How sure am I that the people around me are happy I’m here? Are there things I can easily do to make them more comfortable?”
And to get back to the actual topic of this thread, you said “I merely pointed it out.”
But you didn’t need to point it out. You’re not a moderator, that’s explicitly not your job. You could have just flagged the post for moderation, but instead you responded in a way that several people found excessive. And instead of trying to do your homework yourself and figure out how you could have expressed yourself to get a better result, you’re just starting another thread to continue arguing that you were right.
Which, again, if that’s how you want to go about it, that’s your choice. But it’s probably not going to win you many friends, and it’s certainly not going to get you what you want.