500 (Maybe 1000?) Signs You Play Too much IF

General Off-Topic Discussion
101
  1. When someone asks you for something that’s in a closed refrigerator or cabinet, you say “I can’t see any such thing.”
102

148: When playing graphic games, you occasionally find yourself walking around pieces of the scenery, trying to work out how to pull up their text description.

103

149: When your friends ask to borrow your truck to help with a move, you try to lend them a knapsack instead.

104
  1. You either have no money at all or enough money to buy anything.
105
  1. You give all your cutlery unnecessary adjectives. Burnished spoon, fancy fork, nasty knife.
106
  1. You jump on the spot, fruitlessly.
107

  1. Your favorite excuse for being late is that you didn’t know you were dealing with a timed puzzle.

  2. You know exactly what you’d do if you were locked in a room from the outside, provided you had a thin flat object, a narrow pointy object, and the key was left in the lock.

  3. If you hit too many green lights in a row, you get really nervous and slow down.

  4. Sometimes when you perform a mundane kitchen chore, you wonder if you just think that’s what you’re doing, and you’re actually murdering somebody or piloting a spaceship or something.

108
  1. If given the same task to perform at work two days in a row, you complain that repetitive puzzles are no fun.
109

  1. You assume that anything broken can be fixed by saying out loud “FIX CAR” or “FIX DISHWASHER” and become increasingly frustrated if it doesn’t work.

  2. You believe “The Matrix” was written about you.

110
  1. Your excuse for staying in bed all day is that you’re playing a ‘one-room game’.
111
  1. You grow infuriated when you read that Ford simply gives Arthur a babel fish.
112
  1. You can’t stand it that you didn’t get the above references and feel you really need to know what games they’re both from.
113

The first one is Photopia.

  1. You refuse to go anywhere without a compass. Even moving around inside a house.
114

No specific game for the second one, really, although I was thinking of Rover’s Day Out.

115

Or…

  1. No matter where you are, even without a compass you always know which way is north.

  2. …except on a boat, where you have no idea where north is.

  3. You find it needlessly complicated moving around in a house that faces an intermediate direction instead of a cardinal direction.

116
  1. You often wonder out loud what life’s really ABOUT.

Edited to add:

  1. You start itching to read more Signs You Play Too Much IF after just two three four days, while acknowledging that most people probably have more important things to do.
117
  1. You can match up every Apollo 18 song by They Might Be Giants to the author that created its Apollo 18+20 IF Tribute Game from memory.
118
  1. Whenever someone changes the plant on the window sill you’re scared to death that everything will turn into sand.
1 Like
119

Okay, too late to bump? Either way, look here! A google doc link! Maybe this’ll help us see if we are in danger of repeating something and maybe it’ll add a few people worried might’ve already been said.

docs.google.com/document/d/1VzS … f19kE/edit

  1. you write “TRANSCRIPT” when proofreading someone’s document, leaving semicolons at the beginning of a comment. Or, conversely, you compliment them on not letting conditional text spill through.

  2. you wonder if your romantic interest’s rulebook includes the block kissing rule.

  3. you type RULES and TREE when stuck with an Actual Computer Problem hoping you’ll get some debug information.

  4. you say “G” to yourself or out loud instead of “Again.” Conversely, if someone calls you Gee, you ask what you should do again.

  5. you get a very favorable performance review (despite playing too much) and, to show initiative, ask your manager how to get that last lousy point.

  6. you’re scared of small talk because you worry you may get the default response several times in a row.

  7. when stuck in the dark, instead of stumbling around for a light switch, you try all five senses til one works. (Specific game reference.)

  8. you know more clever XYZZY responses than hip catch phrases.

  9. you break down music videos at your local athletic club into actions just to help cope with them (EXIT OVERPRICED VEHICLE.PARTY PEOPLE, SAY YEAH. PARTY PEOPLE, SAY HELL YEAH.TAKE MICROPHONE.JUMP.SING.WAVE.X GOLD CHAINS.X BEAUTIFUL WOMEN)

  10. you type QUIT in a Windows or Unix shell and wonder, what the heck?

  11. You’ve ever said “That’s hardly portable” when something looks heavy or bulky.

  12. You’ve forgotten push and pull aren’t quite the same thing in real life, with or without anyone seeing evidence of your forgetfulness.

  13. You euphemize dull people as “unimplemented” or “not fully implemented.”

  14. You’re utterly shocked when “I beg your pardon?” follows a sentence instead of silence.

  15. you somehow redesign your unix shell prompt to say

/u/aschultz/a-directory

A directory leads up. X subdirectories lead down.

(Or you’d like to and you’re too busy playing games to figure how.)

120
  1. When a friend recommends a “great novel”, you scoff at the absurdist notion of a 70,000 word wall of text.