Start of a transcript of

Honk!
A Fair Game by Alex Harby
Release 1 / Serial number 230923 / Inform 7 build 6M62 (I6/v6.33 lib 6/12N) 
Identification number: //2E670334-712D-4290-94ED-7F8E8F3A5B17//
Interpreter version 2.1.7 / VM 3.1.2 / Library serial number 080126
Standard Rules version 3/120430 by Graham Nelson
Hybrid Choices version 7 by AW Freyr
Gender Options version 3/210331 by Nathanael Nerode

>l
Ringmaster's Camper
The Ringmaster's got one of those super-nice campers with the wood panelling and everything. Since he does most of the actual running of the place, the chairs are piled high with legal paperwork and accounts and bills and correspondence. You can clamber out north to the staff area once you've tried to calm down the Ringmaster.

Your boss the Ringmaster is pacing around nervously.

The Ringmaster's hat seems to jump a little. He winces.

>restart
Are you sure you want to restart? yes



"Thank goodness you're here! We're ruined, Lola!" cries the Ringmaster the moment you enter his camper van. "The council are trying to put us out of business, my headache's getting worse, and now there's a ghost haunting the circus! Th-they're, they're all coming for our necks, Lola!" The boss falls to pacing around in a tight circle, gnawing on his shirt collar and whimpering.

You were going to ask if there was room in the budget to buy more bendy balloons, but this seems more important.

Honk!
A Fair Game by Alex Harby
Release 1 / Serial number 230923 / Inform 7 build 6M62 (I6/v6.33 lib 6/12N) 

Ringmaster's Camper
The Ringmaster's got one of those super-nice campers with the wood panelling and everything. Since he does most of the actual running of the place, the chairs are piled high with legal paperwork and accounts and bills and correspondence. You can clamber out north to the staff area once you've tried to calm down the Ringmaster.

Your boss the Ringmaster is pacing around nervously.

>dance
I didn't understand that sentence.

>juggle
I didn't understand that sentence.

>sing
You hum a little ditty.

>i
You are juggling:
  a red nose (being worn)

The Ringmaster's hat seems to jump a little.

>x nose
Your honkable red nose really ties your whole face together.

The Ringmaster's hat seems to jump a little.

>talk to ringmaster
"Please help us, Lola," the boss babbles. "The Phantom, the ghost." He's more beside himself than usual.

1) "A 'phantom' in the circus? What do you mean?"
2) "Actually, before we talk, can I just do something else real quick?"

>1
["A 'phantom' in the circus? What do you mean?"]

"It was your day off, you got back late, maybe you didn't hear from anyone yet," says the Ringmaster. "The circus is haunted now. A dreadful Phantom with a skull face appeared during yesterday's performances. Then Adagio complains that her magic act is being sabotaged in front of the whole circus! S-Siegfrieda gets challenged to a test of strength during her strongwoman show - and loses! And someone blindfolds the goose, so now Lawn's goose-taming act is ruined!" The Ringmaster wipes his brow. "The whole show is ruined! And if it keeps happening, WE'RE ruined! We're out of business!"

1) "Poor Adagio! What's this Phantom doing to her magic tricks?"
2) "Poor Freda! I've never seen her lose a test of strength!"
3) "Poor Ken! I'm sorry, someone blindfolded the goose??"

>1
["Poor Adagio! What's this Phantom doing to her magic tricks?"]

"It's her escapology bit, the thing with the water tank. The Phantom is r-ruining it. I don't know, it's a magic trick, she gets cagey about sharing the secrets sometimes. You're in on it, you're her assistant sometimes, m-maybe she'll talk to you. Ow," winces the Ringmaster as his black hat seems to lift an inch off his head briefly. "In fact, you'd better talk to the r-rest of them too. They're all in their caravans, I think. Please help them stop the g-ghost, Lola. I don't know what to do."

1) "Sorry I wasn't around to help yesterday, boss."
2) "I'll sort the Phantom out. You deal with the paperwork."

>1
["Sorry I wasn't around to help yesterday, boss."]

"I-it's fine, Lola, it's okay," says the boss. "It's, it's not like you could've known. Sorry about all this." He gives you a sad little smile. "Did you enjoy your day off, at least? What did you get up to?"

1) "In the morning, I got to see a talk given by one of the all-time great clowns!"
2) "In the afternoon, I caught up with my brothers."
3) "In the evening, I followed a bug for two hours and got lost in an underground cave system."
4) "Oh, nothing much."

>3
["In the evening, I followed a bug for two hours and got lost in an underground cave system."]

"Again, Lola?" he sighs. "Please come talk to me later, and I'll, I'll see if we can budget you a phone so you can call for help next time." (You privately resolve not to do this. You didn't want help.)

1) "In the morning, I got to see a talk given by one of the all-time great clowns!"
2) "In the afternoon, I caught up with my brothers."
3) "That's it, really."

>1
["In the morning, I got to see a talk given by one of the all-time great clowns!"]

"Ah, yes, you mentioned that, didn't you?" says the boss. "A seminar from the great clown Pagliacci, inventor of the famous 'crying in front of the audience' and 'my wife left me' routines. Would that I could have been there," he adds wistfully. "I think we could all learn something about true happiness from him."

1) "In the afternoon, I caught up with my brothers."
2) "That's it, really."

>1
["In the afternoon, I caught up with my brothers."]

"Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot you had family around here!" says the Ringmaster. "What were their names again, you mentioned them once, I'm so sorry I forgot - oh yes! Roflo and Lmaouie, wasn't it? It's good to see good clowning running in the family, Lola."

1) "That's it, really."

>1
["That's it, really."]

"Oh well, it sounds like you had a good time, anyway. S-sorry again, about all the, the ghost situation."

1) "I'll sort the Phantom out. You deal with the paperwork."

>1
["I'll sort the Phantom out. You deal with the paperwork."]

The Ringmaster forces a tired little smile. "Thank you, Lola."

Ringmaster's Camper
The Ringmaster's got one of those super-nice campers with the wood panelling and everything. Since he does most of the actual running of the place, the chairs are piled high with legal paperwork and accounts and bills and correspondence. You can clamber out north to the staff area.

Your boss the Ringmaster is pacing around nervously.

The Ringmaster's hat seems to twitch a little. He winces.

>x hat
A smooth black hat. It looks very sombre atop the rest of the Ringmaster's outfit. Occasionally, it twitches.

The Ringmaster's hat seems to jump a little. He winces.

>get hat
You're getting curious what's under there, but the boss shies away as you approach, instinctively defensive after a lifetime of having his hat slapped off by rowdy teenagers. You'll find out soon enough, maybe.

>ask ringmaster about hat
"Yes, it's, it's a nice hat, isn't it?" says the Ringmaster, fidgeting with the black hat. "It's strange, though, it, it doesn't feel like it fits properly this morning. My head must have swollen again."

>get hat
You're getting curious what's under there, but the boss shies away as you approach, instinctively defensive after a lifetime of having his hat slapped off by rowdy teenagers. You'll find out soon enough, maybe.

>ringmaster, hi
There is no reply.

>l
Ringmaster's Camper
The Ringmaster's got one of those super-nice campers with the wood panelling and everything. Since he does most of the actual running of the place, the chairs are piled high with legal paperwork and accounts and bills and correspondence. You can clamber out north to the staff area.

Your boss the Ringmaster is pacing around nervously.

>x paperwork
All the boring legal and financial stuff: where you're allowed to pitch the big top in each city, ownership details and licenses, staff wages, and so on. Glad it's not your job to deal with this stuff!

There's a letter on the top of the pile which catches your eye. The letterhead's from a local politician - "the Right Honourable Marcus Pooting MP", nice name. But the text itself is kinda not very nice. It's about how the greenfield site, where you are now, needs to be developed into businesses, and how the circus is in the way, and how they're going to take "action" if you don't pack up and leave. You're a travelling circus, you're going to leave anyway at some point, but this is one of your best seasonal sites. It'll be a shame if you lose it. Maybe the boss knows something about it.

>ask ringmaster about letter
"The government is c-coming for my neck, Lola!" The boss waves a letter around frantically. "They want us to pay for an outdoor p-performance permit. A grand! We've never had to do that in this town before."

He digs through the pile and shows you more letters. "We got this debt collection letter b-before we even got the council's letter! And this letter about a fast food tax, and this letter about noise complaints, and THIS letter telling us to move the whole show into a community centre two miles away! How are we going to set up the tent inside a community centre??"

The boss chews on his shirt collar.

>get letter
"No no, please leave that where it is, please," says the Ringmaster. "I have a system."

The Ringmaster's hat seems to turn a little. He winces.

>l
Ringmaster's Camper
The Ringmaster's got one of those super-nice campers with the wood panelling and everything. Since he does most of the actual running of the place, the chairs are piled high with legal paperwork and accounts and bills and correspondence. You can clamber out north to the staff area.

Your boss the Ringmaster is pacing around nervously.

>n

Staff Area, by the boss's camper
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field has direct access to the Big Top's backstage area through the flap to the north. The Ringmaster has parked his camper as close as he can get to it - it's just to the south.

There's more of the staff area to the east, as well as to the northeast if you take a shortcut underneath the tent ropes. You can see the Big Wheel to the west over the various trailers which you can cut through.

Hm, if you want to start helping everyone with this Phantom problem, you'll want to talk to them first. Freda's parked up just to the east next to you, and Adagio and Lawn are both north of her (that is, northeast of here). Or you could put it off and wander north into the circus or west into the carnival. No rush, probably.

>ne

Staff Area, by Adagio and Lawn
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field is directly behind the Top, although you can use one of the tent's fire exits to head inside to the west. Adagio's camper is parked to the north, and Lawn's caravan is to the east.

There's more of the staff area to the south, as well as to the southwest if you take a shortcut underneath the tent ropes.

Agh. Lawn's semi-trained goose is here.

>x goose
The Beastly Bird; the Terror of the Big Top. You don't think the goose has an actual name, unless it's called "stay away from me" or "aaaah nononono".

>n

Adagio's Camper
Adagio keeps her camper van neat as a pin - it's almost like she doesn't live here. The inside is lined with shelves of reference books on magic and academic things she's into. She's also converted the, you know, the bit that hangs over the driver's cab where you keep your children? She's converted that into a hutch. You can go south to head outside.

Adagio lounges here, idly shuffling a deck of cards.

You can also see a hutch (in which is a wicker bowl of salad) here.

>x hitch
You can't see any such thing.

>x hutch
Probably a rabbit hutch, though you're not sure since there's no rabbit around.

In the hutch is a wicker bowl of salad.

>x bowl
A sort of hay salad - mostly hay with some shreds of romaine lettuce and a few carrot shavings, served in a wicker bowl.

>get bowl
"That's for the rabbit," scolds Adagio. "You can get food any time you like from the burger stall, you know."

>eat it
"That's for the rabbit," scolds Adagio. "You can get food any time you like from the burger stall, you know."

>l
Adagio's Camper
Adagio keeps her camper van neat as a pin - it's almost like she doesn't live here. The inside is lined with shelves of reference books on magic and academic things she's into. She's also converted the, you know, the bit that hangs over the driver's cab where you keep your children? She's converted that into a hutch. You can go south to head outside.

Adagio lounges here, idly shuffling a deck of cards.

You can also see a hutch (in which is a wicker bowl of salad) here.

Adagio flexes the deck of cards absent-mindedly.

>x books
There are all sorts of biographies of magicians and collections of card tricks here - Adagio's the kind of person who studies her classics. Most of the other books are books for very smart people: French philosophy and Italian sociology and stuff like that. It makes your head spin, but Adagio likes that sort of thing.

>read it
You open a random book at a random page, see the phrase "doctrine of univocity", and quietly put the book back.

>talk to adagio
"Oh, hullo, Lola," says Adagio. She squares up her deck of cards. "What brings you here?"

1) "I'm told some Phantom's been giving you grief."
2) "Purple hat? That's unusual for you."
3) "See you around, Dadge."

>1
["I'm told some Phantom's been giving you grief."]

"I'm afraid so, yes. It's... to do with one of my tricks." Adagio flicks the corners of her deck for a little while. It looks like she's agonising over something. "Lola? I know I can trust you. I'm going to tell you about this trick, and maybe you can help me with it. But I need you to keep the secret, okay? Can you promise me?"

1) "I won't tell a soul."
2) "Can I tell Freda?"
3) "Why are you so worried about people finding out how it's done?"

>2
["Can I tell Freda?"]

"No. I need it to stay a secret, please."

1) "I won't tell a soul."
2) "Can I tell Ken?"
3) "Why are you so worried about people finding out how it's done?"

>2
["Can I tell Ken?"]

"No, not him, either."

1) "I won't tell a soul."
2) "Can I tell the boss?"
3) "Why are you so worried about people finding out how it's done?"

>2
["Can I tell the boss?"]

"No."

1) "I won't tell a soul."
2) "Can I tell my brothers?"
3) "Wait, the boss doesn't know how you do it?? Doesn't he buy the tricks?"
4) "Why are you so worried about people finding out how it's done?"

>3
["Wait, the boss doesn't know how you do it?? Doesn't he buy the tricks?"]

"Well..." Adagio looks uncomfortable. "Look, I know I ought to let him know, but he's not a very discreet man, is he? I can hear him panicking from three caravans away, bless him. No, I'd better not tell him."

1) "I won't tell a soul."
2) "Can I tell my brothers?"
3) "Why are you so worried about people finding out how it's done?"

>2
["Can I tell my brothers?"]

"No."

1) "I won't tell a soul."
2) "Can I tell the guy who runs the Monster Manor?"
3) "Why are you so worried about people finding out how it's done?"

>2
["Can I tell the guy who runs the Monster Manor?"]

"No. Lola, I know when you're trying to wind me up."

1) "I won't tell a soul."
2) "Can I tell the goose?"
3) "Why are you so worried about people finding out how it's done?"

>2
["Can I tell the goose?"]

"N- well. Okay, you can tell the goose. But you have to whisper."

1) "I won't tell a soul."
2) "Why are you so worried about people finding out how it's done?"

>2
["Why are you so worried about people finding out how it's done?"]

"Not my choice, Lola. Magic Society rules. They have your legs broken if they find out you've been giving away secrets, you know. But, Lola, I know I can trust you because you've helped me with some of my tricks before, and you've never said anything. I just need you to promise me again, alright?"

1) "I won't tell a soul."

>1
["I won't tell a soul."]

"Thank you, Lola."

Adagio pockets the deck. "Do you remember the escape trick I sometimes do at the end of the show? The one where an audience volunteer ties me up with the rope which lowers me into the water tank. You were trying to guess how I escape the ropes?"

1) "I still think there's something funny with the pulleys."
2) "I still think you cut the ropes somehow."
3) "I still think you use an audience plant to tie the ropes loosely."
4) "I still think you're just naturally slippery and you just ooze out of the ropes."

>4
["I still think you're just naturally slippery and you just ooze out of the ropes."]

Adagio frowns. "I hope you're not still upset about losing at poker the other night. No, I just cut the ropes until they fray and loosen up, so I can slip out. Then I end the show before anyone can look at the rope too closely. I have an old razor blade wedged in one of the pulleys. I can just about palm it and cut myself free.

"Well, I had a blade. Somebody removed it just ahead of the show. I checked it was there before the show, as usual, but somebody must have snuck backstage during my other tricks and taken it. I had to abort the escape trick, of course. I had to tell the audience I was coming down with dysentery. And while I was being lowered again, I saw the Phantom - a person in a white mask at the back of the audience, holding that blade aloft."

She pulls the deck of cards out again, and goes back to shuffling distractedly. "So there you have it. I'm hoping this is all just a mistake. Maybe I just overlooked that blade last time. But I'm not hopeful. So if you have any ideas - some emergency way of doing the trick, say - it would help me out a lot."

1) "Should we put on your magic show and try this escape trick again? I can be the assistant."
2) "Suppose you can't just put a new blade up in the Diabolical Contraption?"
3) "Is the water tank contraption thing working correctly?"
4) "Could you try putting a plant in the audience for this escape trick?"
5) "Purple hat? That's unusual for you."
6) "See you around, Dadge."

>1
["Should we put on your magic show and try this escape trick again? I can be the assistant."]

"Alright," says Adagio. "Let's try it again..."



Please press SPACE to continue.

It's near the end of Adagio's magic show. Time for the big finish: the Escape From the Diabolical Contraption. You select a few random audience members. They truss up Adagio's hands and feet behind her back with the rope, and hoist her up and over the water tank so that her tummy points down. The gears through which the rope winds will slowly unspool it, lowering Adagio into the water and drowning her - unless, of course, she can miraculously untie herself.

The gears click into place, and Adagio starts her descent. You step back to watch, and there, at the back of the stands, you see...

A hulking figure, swathed in black. A white mask, and two impassive eyes behind it. It can only be the Phantom.

Something glints in their hands. They turn and leave through the emergency exit.

"And now, the great escape!" announces Adagio. And then a pause. And then she mutters "Uh oh."


Ring
You're in the heart of the Big Top, surrounded by a probably-adoring audience. The circus is in full swing right now. If you headed out right now you'd be in the gangways between the seats, but it's showtime now - you aren't leaving this ring until this show ends, one way or another.

Adagio is tied up in the Diabolical Contraption, being lowered into the water.

You can also see a purple top hat (empty) here.

>get hat
Yoink!

>wear it
You put on the purple top hat.

Adagio tugs at the knot with her fingertips, to no avail.

>talk to adagio
"I think I'm in trouble," mutters Adagio, feigning a smile at the audience.

1) "What's the matter, Adagio?"
2) "This is getting dangerous. We need to stop the show."
3) "Let's keep going."

>1
["What's the matter, Adagio?"]

"Still no blade up there. I didn't miss it. It has been stolen after all. Pity." Adagio wriggles uselessly. "Can't cut myself free. Can't untie myself. Not sure how I'm going to get out of this one."

1) "What's the matter, Adagio?"
2) "This is getting dangerous. We need to stop the show."
3) "Let's keep going."

>3
["Let's keep going."]

Ring
You're in the heart of the Big Top, surrounded by a probably-adoring audience. The circus is in full swing right now. If you headed out right now you'd be in the gangways between the seats, but it's showtime now - you aren't leaving this ring until this show ends, one way or another.

Adagio is tied up in the Diabolical Contraption, being lowered into the water.

>out
You mustn't abandon the ring during a show! If you need the performance to end, it would be kinder to let Adagio know.

>e
You mustn't abandon the ring during a show! If you need the performance to end, it would be kinder to let Adagio know.

Adagio swings herself around a little like a pendulum, but no luck. "Oh boy," she says.

>w
You mustn't abandon the ring during a show! If you need the performance to end, it would be kinder to let Adagio know.

>s
You mustn't abandon the ring during a show! If you need the performance to end, it would be kinder to let Adagio know.

>n
You mustn't abandon the ring during a show! If you need the performance to end, it would be kinder to let Adagio know.

Adagio looks deep in thought, and you hope she's figured something out- oops, never mind, she's back to wiggling in the ropes.

>talk to adagio
"I think I'm in trouble," mutters Adagio, feigning a smile at the audience.

1) "What's the matter, Adagio?"
2) "This is getting dangerous. We need to stop the show."
3) "Let's keep going."

>2
["This is getting dangerous. We need to stop the show."]

Adagio sighs. You give her a stern look. She sighs again. "Fine."

You run to the rope and hoist her up before she drowns. The audience murmurs as a bedraggled Adagio grabs her hat and lopes off. You try to cover with a few skits, but it's no good, really. The vibes are wrong. You'll catch up with Adagio as soon as you can and make sure she's okay.



Please press SPACE to continue.

"Well, that could have gone better," says Adagio, now in dry clothes but still looking bedraggled in spirit. "Sorry to drag you into this, Lola." She sighs and stares into space for a while. "I need to untie that rope," she mutters. "Can't do it myself. Can't cut it myself. You could do it, except you're not supposed to be part of the act. Nobody else can help. Can they? Hmm..."

Adagio's Camper
Adagio keeps her camper van neat as a pin - it's almost like she doesn't live here. The inside is lined with shelves of reference books on magic and academic things she's into. She's also converted the, you know, the bit that hangs over the driver's cab where you keep your children? She's converted that into a hutch. You can go south to head outside.

Adagio lounges here, idly shuffling a deck of cards.

You can also see a hutch (in which is a wicker bowl of salad) here.

>talk to adagio
"Oh, hullo, Lola," says Adagio. She squares up her deck of cards. "What brings you here?"

1) "Should we put on your magic show and try this escape trick again? I can be the assistant."
2) "Suppose you can't just put a new blade up in the Diabolical Contraption?"
3) "Is the water tank contraption thing working correctly?"
4) "Could you try putting a plant in the audience for this escape trick?"
5) "Purple hat? That's unusual for you."
6) "See you around, Dadge."

>2
["Suppose you can't just put a new blade up in the Diabolical Contraption?"]

Adagio shuffles uncomfortably while she shuffles. "Well... I don't have any other blades. I know, I know, I should have kept a spare. But after all the laser removal, you know, I was so happy I didn't have to shave anymore that I threw all my shaving equipment out, apart from that blade. Now it's gone. They don't make that brand of blade anymore, and everyone else uses electric shavers. So that's that." She flexes the cards. "That blade is gone. I'll just have to think of another way of cutting that rope. With my hands tied."

1) "Should we put on your magic show and try this escape trick again? I can be the assistant."
2) "Suppose you can't just put a new blade up in the Diabolical Contraption?"
3) "Is the water tank contraption thing working correctly?"
4) "Could you try putting a plant in the audience for this escape trick?"
5) "Purple hat? That's unusual for you."
6) "See you around, Dadge."

>3
["Is the water tank contraption thing working correctly?"]

"Yes, last I checked," says Adagio. "It's working too well, perhaps, now that I don't have a way to cut the rope anymore."

1) "Should we put on your magic show and try this escape trick again? I can be the assistant."
2) "Suppose you can't just put a new blade up in the Diabolical Contraption?"
3) "Is the water tank contraption thing working correctly?"
4) "Could you try putting a plant in the audience for this escape trick?"
5) "Purple hat? That's unusual for you."
6) "See you around, Dadge."

>4
["Could you try putting a plant in the audience for this escape trick?"]

"I could try it, but..." Adagio looks out the window. She seems really troubled. "I have a really bad feeling about the Phantom, to be honest with you. They know how to get backstage, and they know how to sabotage our shows. They know how the circus works. Are they one of us? If I try to plant one of us in the audience, how do I know it's not the Phantom themself? Or how do I know the Phantom can't bribe them? And I have to let someone else in on the trick in the first place. I don't know. I want to keep this amongst ourselves, just you and me, if I can."

1) "You really think the Phantom is a circus guy?"
2) "Well, it could just be me who ties you up. I could do it loosely."
3) "No, I meant, like, a succulent or a peace lily."

>3
["No, I meant, like, a succulent or a peace lily."]

"Quiet, Lola," says Adagio. But she's smiling when she says it.

1) "Should we put on your magic show and try this escape trick again? I can be the assistant."
2) "Suppose you can't just put a new blade up in the Diabolical Contraption?"
3) "Is the water tank contraption thing working correctly?"
4) "Could you try putting a plant in the audience for this escape trick?"
5) "Purple hat? That's unusual for you."
6) "See you around, Dadge."

>4
["Could you try putting a plant in the audience for this escape trick?"]

"I could try it, but..." Adagio looks out the window. She seems really troubled. "I have a really bad feeling about the Phantom, to be honest with you. They know how to get backstage, and they know how to sabotage our shows. They know how the circus works. Are they one of us? If I try to plant one of us in the audience, how do I know it's not the Phantom themself? Or how do I know the Phantom can't bribe them? And I have to let someone else in on the trick in the first place. I don't know. I want to keep this amongst ourselves, just you and me, if I can."

1) "You really think the Phantom is a circus guy?"
2) "Well, it could just be me who ties you up. I could do it loosely."
3) "No, I meant, like, a succulent or a peace lily."

>2
["Well, it could just be me who ties you up. I could do it loosely."]

"I was thinking of asking you, but it wouldn't work for the trick. The idea of using the volunteers is that it's something I can't control. It tells the audience that the knot is real. If it was a colleague doing it, the audience wouldn't be so convinced." Adagio smirks. "We can't plant you in the audience, either. You refuse to take off the nose. I think people would notice you."

1) "Should we put on your magic show and try this escape trick again? I can be the assistant."
2) "Suppose you can't just put a new blade up in the Diabolical Contraption?"
3) "Is the water tank contraption thing working correctly?"
4) "Could you try putting a plant in the audience for this escape trick?"
5) "Purple hat? That's unusual for you."
6) "See you around, Dadge."

>5
["Purple hat? That's unusual for you."]

"Huh?" Adagio looks blank. She takes off her hat and looks at it. "Ugh. I must have taken the wrong hat when I left the boss's camper earlier."

Adagio hands the hat to you. "Could you do me a favour and run this back to the Ringmaster? He must still have my hat." She glances at the hutch. "And my rabbit. I wondered why she was being so quiet today."


Adagio's Camper
Adagio keeps her camper van neat as a pin - it's almost like she doesn't live here. The inside is lined with shelves of reference books on magic and academic things she's into. She's also converted the, you know, the bit that hangs over the driver's cab where you keep your children? She's converted that into a hutch. You can go south to head outside.

Adagio lounges here, idly shuffling a deck of cards.

You can also see a hutch (in which is a wicker bowl of salad) here.

>ask adagio about hat
(the purple top hat)
"I should have noticed I was wearing the wrong hat, really. I was just in a hurry to get out of the Ringmaster's office this morning. He kept trying to show me a new card shuffle he's invented. I don't think he's got the hang of it, unless the idea is to drop the cards on the floor and pick them up one by one."

>wear hat
You put on the purple top hat.

>l
Adagio's Camper
Adagio keeps her camper van neat as a pin - it's almost like she doesn't live here. The inside is lined with shelves of reference books on magic and academic things she's into. She's also converted the, you know, the bit that hangs over the driver's cab where you keep your children? She's converted that into a hutch. You can go south to head outside.

Adagio lounges here, idly shuffling a deck of cards.

You can also see a hutch (in which is a wicker bowl of salad) here.

>s

Staff Area, by Adagio and Lawn
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field is directly behind the Top, although you can use one of the tent's fire exits to head inside to the west. Adagio's camper is parked to the north, and Lawn's caravan is to the east.

There's more of the staff area to the south, as well as to the southwest if you take a shortcut underneath the tent ropes.

The goose. It's still here.

>e

Lawn's Caravan
Lawn's caravan smells surprisingly good, given that he shares it with a goose. The bed has been ripped out and replaced with a paddling pool. Not for the first time, you wonder if it's actually the goose's caravan and Lawn sleeps on the roof or something. The exit is west.

Ken Lawn, the carnival's resident Animal Tamer, is brooding here.

>w

Staff Area, by Adagio and Lawn
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field is directly behind the Top, although you can use one of the tent's fire exits to head inside to the west. Adagio's camper is parked to the north, and Lawn's caravan is to the east.

There's more of the staff area to the south, as well as to the southwest if you take a shortcut underneath the tent ropes.

The goose. It's still here.

>s

Staff Area, by Freda and you
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field is right in the corner. You and Freda have tucked yourselves away here. Your own caravan is to the south; Freda's camper is east.

There's more of the staff area to the north and to the west.

Your lovely little car is parked up here, still attached to your caravan.

>e

Freda's Camper
You spend more time here than in your own caravan. Freda fills the poky camper like how custard fills a pie dish, and most of the rest of the space is taken up by barbells, but that's fine by you, that just makes the place cosier. If you have to leave, the door out to the staff area is west.

The lovely Freda, the circus strongwoman and your strong girlfriend, is having a rest period here between shows. She seems down, but she brightens up as soon as she sees you.

>w

Staff Area, by Freda and you
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field is right in the corner. You and Freda have tucked yourselves away here. Your own caravan is to the south; Freda's camper is east.

There's more of the staff area to the north and to the west.

Your lovely little car is parked up here, still attached to your caravan.

>x car
(the clown car)
Your car, one cubic metre of pure horsepower. It's drivable, but the innards are stripped down to the bare essentials (the fewer seats there are, the more passengers you can fit in). There is a car horn, though.

>drive it
You unhook your caravan and squeeze into your little car.

Note: if you type a direction while in the car, you'll automatically drive it between places.

>get horn
You glued it to the car ages ago. Where the horn goes, the car goes too.

>honk it
Honk!

>honk
What do you want to honk?

>nose
Honk!

>honk!
I didn't understand that sentence.

>l
Staff Area, by Freda and you (in the clown car)
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field is right in the corner. You and Freda have tucked yourselves away here. Your own caravan is to the south; Freda's camper is east.

There's more of the staff area to the north and to the west.

>x car
(the clown car)
Your car, one cubic metre of pure horsepower. It's drivable, but the innards are stripped down to the bare essentials (the fewer seats there are, the more passengers you can fit in). There is a car horn, though.

>x seats
You can't see any such thing.

>
I beg your pardon?

>ll
I didn't understand that sentence.

>l
Staff Area, by Freda and you (in the clown car)
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field is right in the corner. You and Freda have tucked yourselves away here. Your own caravan is to the south; Freda's camper is east.

There's more of the staff area to the north and to the west.

>s
The tragedy of having a little caravan is that it has an even littler door, and you can't quite squeeze the car through. What a shame! You used to love driving your car around your own home and the others" caravans, but they don't let you do it anymore. Arguably, they didn't want you doing it in the first place.

>e
People got genuinely mad at you the last time you drove your car into their homes, so you'd better get out of your car before you go in.

>n

Staff Area, by Adagio and Lawn (in the clown car)
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field is directly behind the Top, although you can use one of the tent's fire exits to head inside to the west. Adagio's camper is parked to the north, and Lawn's caravan is to the east.

There's more of the staff area to the south, as well as to the southwest if you take a shortcut underneath the tent ropes.

The goose. It's still here.

>n
People got genuinely mad at you the last time you drove your car into their homes, so you'd better get out of your car before you go in.

>l
Staff Area, by Adagio and Lawn (in the clown car)
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field is directly behind the Top, although you can use one of the tent's fire exits to head inside to the west. Adagio's camper is parked to the north, and Lawn's caravan is to the east.

There's more of the staff area to the south, as well as to the southwest if you take a shortcut underneath the tent ropes.

The goose. It's still here.

>sw

Staff Area, by the boss's camper (in the clown car)
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field has direct access to the Big Top's backstage area through the flap to the north. The Ringmaster has parked his camper as close as he can get to it - it's just to the south.

There's more of the staff area to the east, as well as to the northeast if you take a shortcut underneath the tent ropes. You can see the Big Wheel to the west over the various trailers which you can cut through.

>out
You get out of the clown car.

Staff Area, by the boss's camper
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field has direct access to the Big Top's backstage area through the flap to the north. The Ringmaster has parked his camper as close as he can get to it - it's just to the south.

There's more of the staff area to the east, as well as to the northeast if you take a shortcut underneath the tent ropes. You can see the Big Wheel to the west over the various trailers which you can cut through.

You can see your clown car (empty) here.

>ne

Staff Area, by Adagio and Lawn
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field is directly behind the Top, although you can use one of the tent's fire exits to head inside to the west. Adagio's camper is parked to the north, and Lawn's caravan is to the east.

There's more of the staff area to the south, as well as to the southwest if you take a shortcut underneath the tent ropes.

The goose. It's still here.

The goose nudges a little bit of dirt around with its beak.

>s

Staff Area, by Freda and you
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field is right in the corner. You and Freda have tucked yourselves away here. Your own caravan is to the south; Freda's camper is east.

There's more of the staff area to the north and to the west.

>s

Your Caravan
It's not much, but it's yours. Really, it's just a place for sleeping (and you do most of that in Freda's caravan these days) and for keeping your props and medication. You can exit north to the staff area.

Your trusty stack of custard pies is here.

You can also see some bendy balloons here.

>get pie
You grab the whole stack. Why stop at one?

>get balloon
Finders keepers!

>i
You are juggling:
  some bendy balloons
  a stack of pies
  a purple top hat (being worn)
  a red nose (being worn)

>x balloon
These things are why you wanted to talk to the boss in the first place. You couldn't get your usual brand of balloons for making animals last time you ordered, so you got these "Special Vulcanised Sculptural Balloons" instead. Big mistake - the rubber is so tough you can't even blow them up with your own lungs.

>make dog
I didn't understand that sentence.

>tie balloon
What do you want to tie the bendy balloons to?

>me
You would achieve nothing by this.

>l
Your Caravan
It's not much, but it's yours. Really, it's just a place for sleeping (and you do most of that in Freda's caravan these days) and for keeping your props and medication. You can exit north to the staff area.

>x props
You don't touch most of this stuff anymore. A lot of it ought to be donated to a clown college, really. The only things you regularly use are the pies and the balloons.

>search it
You find nothing of interest.

>x medication
You know, hormones, boy-pills. Well, you're not going that far with them. Less-girl-pills.

>get it
You're actually going to leave your pills well alone. You don't want to lose them again.

>x me
You are Lola, the greatest and only clown in the whole circus! Your special skills include pie-throwing, balloon-animal-making and nose-honking.

>n

Staff Area, by Freda and you
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field is right in the corner. You and Freda have tucked yourselves away here. Your own caravan is to the south; Freda's camper is east.

There's more of the staff area to the north and to the west.

>e

Freda's Camper
You spend more time here than in your own caravan. Freda fills the poky camper like how custard fills a pie dish, and most of the rest of the space is taken up by barbells, but that's fine by you, that just makes the place cosier. If you have to leave, the door out to the staff area is west.

The beautiful Freda is having a rest period here between shows.

Freda smiles and waggles her eyebrows at you.

>x freda
Siegfrieda, the Strongest Woman Around - Freda to her friends. A kitten in a lion's body. She looks like she should be singing long and violent operas, or carrying fallen Viking warriors to Valhalla, but she couldn't be gentler. You adore her.

>z
Time passes.

>z
Time passes.

Freda smiles and makes kissy noises at you.

>z
Time passes.

>z
Time passes.

>z
Time passes.

>z
Time passes.

Freda smiles and waggles her eyebrows at you.

>z
Time passes.

>z
Time passes.

>z
Time passes.

>z
Time passes.

>z
Time passes.

>z
Time passes.

>z
Time passes.

>z
Time passes.

>z
Time passes.

>z
Time passes.

>z
Time passes.

>z
Time passes.

Freda smiles and winks at you.

>l
Freda's Camper
You spend more time here than in your own caravan. Freda fills the poky camper like how custard fills a pie dish, and most of the rest of the space is taken up by barbells, but that's fine by you, that just makes the place cosier. If you have to leave, the door out to the staff area is west.

The powerful Freda is having a rest period here between shows.

>x freda
Siegfrieda, the Strongest Woman Around - Freda to her friends. A kitten in a lion's body. She looks like she should be singing long and violent operas, or carrying fallen Viking warriors to Valhalla, but she couldn't be gentler. You adore her.

>talk to freda
"Hello, love!" Freda gives you a quick peck on the nose.

1) "I heard this Phantom's been causing you problems."
2) "Byeee! Love you!"

>1
["I heard this Phantom's been causing you problems."]

"Yeah! Last show was a nightmare!" Freda sighs. "So, like, you know I do the audience volunteer bit during the show? I'll lift anyone who wants to be lifted, and I hold them above my head for a while?

"Well, when I did it last time, it went the worst it's ever gone!"

1) "Worse than when you lifted that one guy so fast he got the bends?!"
2) "Worse than when you deadlifted that pro wrestler and he instinctively countered you?!"
3) "Worse than when you lifted that little girl and she got snatched by birds?!"

>3
["Worse than when you lifted that little girl and she got snatched by birds?!"]

"Yeah! I think so? Did we find that girl? Yeah, we did, she was being raised by hawks in that old clock tower. Yeah, worse than that!

"So, I do the call out to the audience, right? And this Phantom just books it out of the audience, runs into the ring, and just stands there. I can't ignore them, right, they volunteered. I have to lift them.

"But this guy was so heavy! Like, okay, they're a big guy, taller than me, but they're so heavy! They must be so... what's the word, Mister Lawn said it about me once... "dense"! Well, I just couldn't do it - my legs just gave out from under me. It was so humiliating."

This is obviously getting to Freda. She rubs the back of her head. "So, like, the boss seems to think the Phantom's gonna do it again. So next time I do the show... could you be there, Lola? To make sure nothing happens?"

1) "Let's put your show on and see if we can deal with the Phantom."
2) "Remind me what the Phantom was doing to mess with your Strength show?"
3) "Of course I'll be there, Freda. What do you think I can do?"
4) "Can't you just ignore the Phantom if they volunteer again?"
5) "Did you say Ken called you 'dense'?"
6) "Byeee! Love you!"

>2
["Remind me what the Phantom was doing to mess with your Strength show?"]

"So, like, you know I do the audience volunteer bit during the show? I'll lift anyone who wants to be lifted, and I hold them above my head for a while?

"Well, I did that bit the other day, right? And this Phantom just books it out of the audience, runs into the ring, and just stands there. I can't ignore them, right, they volunteered. I have to lift them.

"But this guy was so heavy! Like, okay, they're a big guy, taller than me, but they're so heavy! They must be so... what's the word, Mister Lawn said it about me once... "dense"! Well, I just couldn't do it - my legs just gave out from under me. It was so humiliating."

This is obviously getting to Freda. She rubs the back of her head. "So, like, the boss seems to think the Phantom's gonna do it again. So next time I do the show... could you be there, Lola? To make sure nothing happens?"

1) "Let's put your show on and see if we can deal with the Phantom."
2) "Remind me what the Phantom was doing to mess with your Strength show?"
3) "What do you think I can do during the show?"
4) "Can't you just ignore the Phantom if they volunteer again?"
5) "Did you say Ken called you 'dense'?"
6) "Byeee! Love you!"

>3
["What do you think I can do during the show?"]

"You just have to be there, love. I keep telling you. It helps a lot.

"And... and maybe you'll see what the trick is. The Phantom can't be that heavy, right? You're smarter than me. You'll think of something." She strokes your cheek gently with her thumb. She's too hard on herself, but maybe she's missing something when she has to focus on her power-lifting. You'll be there.

1) "Let's put your show on and see if we can deal with the Phantom."
2) "Remind me what the Phantom was doing to mess with your Strength show?"
3) "What do you think I can do during the show?"
4) "Can't you just ignore the Phantom if they volunteer again?"
5) "Did you say Ken called you 'dense'?"
6) "Byeee! Love you!"

>4
["Can't you just ignore the Phantom if they volunteer again?"]

Freda picks up a barbell and twiddles it between her fingers like a pen. "But I can't, Lol'. That's the thing. I gotta lift anyone that volunteers, or it looks like I'm dodging them, like I'm waiting for an audience plant or something. You can't help me lift them either. It's s'posed to be a solo show. I think I gotta lift the Phantom by myself if they show up."

1) "Let's put your show on and see if we can deal with the Phantom."
2) "Remind me what the Phantom was doing to mess with your Strength show?"
3) "What do you think I can do during the show?"
4) "Did you say Ken called you 'dense'?"
5) "Byeee! Love you!"

>4
["Did you say Ken called you 'dense'?"]

"Yeah, but I don't know what he's on about. I'm in the range of normal weight and muscle mass for a professional powerlifter."

1) "Let's put your show on and see if we can deal with the Phantom."
2) "Remind me what the Phantom was doing to mess with your Strength show?"
3) "What do you think I can do during the show?"
4) "Byeee! Love you!"

>4
["Byeee! Love you!"]

"Love you more!"

Freda's Camper
You spend more time here than in your own caravan. Freda fills the poky camper like how custard fills a pie dish, and most of the rest of the space is taken up by barbells, but that's fine by you, that just makes the place cosier. If you have to leave, the door out to the staff area is west.

The gorgeous Freda is having a rest period here between shows.

>x barbells
A huge mess of huge barbells, somehow tangled together like one of those packing puzzles. There's a slight tilt to Freda's camper where they're weighing down that end.

Freda smiles and waggles her eyebrows at you.

>throw pie at freda
Splat!

Freda instinctively wipes custard from her eyes with both hands. "Go on, Lola, come at me! I can take it!"

>g
Splat!

Freda instinctively wipes custard from her eyes with both hands. "You didn't catch me out! I caught that pie with my head!"

>g
Splat!

Freda instinctively wipes custard from her eyes with both hands. "Your pies simply break on me like waves on the shore!"

>
I beg your pardon?

>g
Splat!

Freda instinctively wipes custard from her eyes with both hands. "Your pies slide off me like water off a goose's back!"

>g
Splat!

Freda instinctively wipes custard from her eyes with both hands. "Your pies pass by like a gentle breeze!"

>g
Splat!

Freda instinctively wipes custard from her eyes with both hands. "Your pies bounce off me like bullets!"

>g
Splat!

Freda instinctively wipes custard from her eyes with both hands. "Your pies simply break on me like waves on the shore!"

>g
Splat!

Freda instinctively wipes custard from her eyes with both hands. "You didn't catch me out! I caught that pie with my head!"

>out

Staff Area, by Freda and you
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field is right in the corner. You and Freda have tucked yourselves away here. Your own caravan is to the south; Freda's camper is east.

There's more of the staff area to the north and to the west.

>n

Staff Area, by Adagio and Lawn
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field is directly behind the Top, although you can use one of the tent's fire exits to head inside to the west. Adagio's camper is parked to the north, and Lawn's caravan is to the east.

There's more of the staff area to the south, as well as to the southwest if you take a shortcut underneath the tent ropes.

The goose. It's still here.

The goose stares at the sky wistfully.

>throw pie at goose
You think animals maybe don't get the joke of pie throwing, and they would think you were just attacking them instead, and that would make you very sad. You hold your fire.

>e

Lawn's Caravan
Lawn's caravan smells surprisingly good, given that he shares it with a goose. The bed has been ripped out and replaced with a paddling pool. Not for the first time, you wonder if it's actually the goose's caravan and Lawn sleeps on the roof or something. The exit is west.

Ken Lawn, the carnival's resident Animal Tamer, is brooding here.

>throw pie at ken
Splat!

Lawn instinctively wipes custard from his eyes with both hands. "Lola. We've talked about this."

>g
Splat!

Lawn instinctively wipes custard from his eyes with both hands. "This is not funny."

>g
Splat!

Lawn instinctively wipes custard from his eyes with both hands. "Go on, then, keep throwing pies at me. For your information, I'm actually not mad about it."

>g
Splat!

Lawn instinctively wipes custard from his eyes with both hands. "...Actually, no, stop doing it."

>g
Splat!

Lawn instinctively wipes custard from his eyes with both hands. "Stop it."

>g
Splat!

Lawn instinctively wipes custard from his eyes with both hands. "Stop it."

>g
Splat!

Lawn instinctively wipes custard from his eyes with both hands. "Stop it."

>g
Splat!

Lawn instinctively wipes custard from his eyes with both hands. "Stop it."

>g
Splat!

Lawn instinctively wipes custard from his eyes with both hands. "Stop it."

>stop it
I didn't understand that sentence.

>l
Lawn's Caravan
Lawn's caravan smells surprisingly good, given that he shares it with a goose. The bed has been ripped out and replaced with a paddling pool. Not for the first time, you wonder if it's actually the goose's caravan and Lawn sleeps on the roof or something. The exit is west.

Ken Lawn, the carnival's resident Animal Tamer, is brooding here.

Lawn watches you, as if daring you to try any funny business.

>z
Time passes.

>z
Time passes.

>z
Time passes.

>z
Time passes.

>x lawn
Kentucky Lawn the Animal Tamer is deeply sensitive to animal rights, and refuses to work with lions, elephants and other large animals who would suffer from the travelling lifestyle. His animal of choice is the Canada goose. The peck-marks that cover 95% of his body speak to a lifetime of dedicated training.

>w

Staff Area, by Adagio and Lawn
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field is directly behind the Top, although you can use one of the tent's fire exits to head inside to the west. Adagio's camper is parked to the north, and Lawn's caravan is to the east.

There's more of the staff area to the south, as well as to the southwest if you take a shortcut underneath the tent ropes.

The goose. It's still here.

The goose stares at the sky wistfully.

>n

Adagio's Camper
Adagio keeps her camper van neat as a pin - it's almost like she doesn't live here. The inside is lined with shelves of reference books on magic and academic things she's into. She's also converted the, you know, the bit that hangs over the driver's cab where you keep your children? She's converted that into a hutch. You can go south to head outside.

Adagio lounges here, idly shuffling a deck of cards.

You can also see a hutch (in which is a wicker bowl of salad) here.

>s

Staff Area, by Adagio and Lawn
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field is directly behind the Top, although you can use one of the tent's fire exits to head inside to the west. Adagio's camper is parked to the north, and Lawn's caravan is to the east.

There's more of the staff area to the south, as well as to the southwest if you take a shortcut underneath the tent ropes.

The goose. It's still here.

>e

Lawn's Caravan
Lawn's caravan smells surprisingly good, given that he shares it with a goose. The bed has been ripped out and replaced with a paddling pool. Not for the first time, you wonder if it's actually the goose's caravan and Lawn sleeps on the roof or something. The exit is west.

Ken Lawn, the carnival's resident Animal Tamer, is brooding here.

>talk to ken
"Oh. Hello, clown," says Lawn. (It might sound like he's mad at you, but that's just how he is to everyone.)

1) "I've heard this Phantom's been sabotaging your show?"
2) "So! Freda says you've been calling her 'dense'."
3) "See you around, Ken!"

>2
["So! Freda says you've been calling her 'dense'."]

Ken looks hunted, which is funny to you, because you said that last thing very conversationally. "I never said that! When did I say that? It's been taken out of context! All I said was that... perhaps... Freda, who I'll never hear a bad word against... maybe... understands things... a little later than other people?" He seems to have shrunk two feet under your gaze. "Sorry."

You do like Ken Lawn, really. He's good company when he's in a good mood. Tons of stories from his career, and he really won't hear a bad word about his colleagues. It's just that sometimes he says bad words and doesn't listen to himself. Well, you can deal with him some other time, after this Phantom bit is resolved.

1) "I've heard this Phantom's been sabotaging your show?"
2) "See you around, Ken!"

>1
["I've heard this Phantom's been sabotaging your show?"]

"Listen. I've been doing this for decades. I am in sync with the Goose, and the Goose is in sync with me and only me. But it all depends on the Goose's wellbeing. If the Goose ails, or if its senses are deprived in any way, it cannot perform at peak capacity. You understand this, of course?

"Well, yesterday I was preparing to perform as normal. And when I checked on the Goose before the show... do you know what the Phantom had done? Can you guess?"

1) "Sedated it?"
2) "Blindfolded it?"
3) "Kidnapped it?"
4) "All of the above?"

>4
["All of the above?"]

"All of the above what? You know what, don't answer that. I don't care.

"That dreadful Phantom... they'd blindfolded the Goose! Deprived the Goose of vision! Now, listen. To be a great Goose-tamer requires eye contact and full body gestures with every command. If the Goose can't see me, the show is ruined! I had to go out into the Ring locked in a cage with a blind Goose and do nothing!" Lawn is pacing back and forth now (which doesn't take long. It's a small caravan). "How is the Goose to perform under these conditions?"

1) "Can I tag along and see you perform your show? Maybe I can help."
2) "Could you remind me what the Phantom was doing to ruin your show?"
3) "Why can't you take the goose's blindfold off during the show?"
4) "If the problem is that the goose can't see your gestures, can you train it to respond to words instead?"
5) "Show me the gestures you're using to get the goose to do tricks! Please."
6) "See you around, Ken!"

>3
["Why can't you take the goose's blindfold off during the show?"]

"Don't you think I've tried?" snaps Lawn. (You do think he's tried, which is why you asked "why can't you" and not "why didn't you". But he's stressed. You'll let it slide.) "But that awful Phantom ties it so tight! I can't unpick the knot. I have to cut the Goose free after each show."

Lawn glares at you like you just threatened his family. "Don't you even think about cutting the Goose free yourself! I'm the only person I trust with a knife anywhere near the Goose. And we're locked in a cage together each show, so you won't be able to touch the Goose anyway."

1) "Can I tag along and see you perform your show? Maybe I can help."
2) "Could you remind me what the Phantom was doing to ruin your show?"
3) "Why can't you take the goose's blindfold off during the show?"
4) "If the problem is that the goose can't see your gestures, can you train it to respond to words instead?"
5) "Show me the gestures you're using to get the goose to do tricks! Please."
6) "See you around, Ken!"

>4
["If the problem is that the goose can't see your gestures, can you train it to respond to words instead?"]

"It's not how I work, Lola. I've been doing this for years. I know what works for me." Lawn rubs his chin. "Funny you should suggest it. Some of the youngbloods in the Goose-taming community have been propounding the phenomenological approach to the profession." He catches your eye. "That is, they use noises instead of gestures. Sounds, not words. They claim it's instinctive to Geese to respond in certain ways. But... no, it's not me. It might take me an age to find the right sounds, and this Phantom business will be over by the time we relearn the tricks." He sighs. "One way or another."

1) "Can I tag along and see you perform your show? Maybe I can help."
2) "Could you remind me what the Phantom was doing to ruin your show?"
3) "Why can't you take the goose's blindfold off during the show?"
4) "If the problem is that the goose can't see your gestures, can you train it to respond to words instead?"
5) "Show me the gestures you're using to get the goose to do tricks! Please."
6) "See you around, Ken!"

>5
["Show me the gestures you're using to get the goose to do tricks! Please."]

"Well, okay, if you think it will help."

Lawn heads to the caravan door and leans out. He brings both his hands to his chest. Seconds later, the goose appears, flapping in Lawn's face and beating him with powerful wings about the head. Lawn says a few unrepeatable words, but the goose soon settles. You're a little nervous being in such a confined space with the horrible bird, but it's Lawn who'll be doing the gestures, not you.

"Don't bother trying to copy any of these gestures, by the way. I have a sacred bond with the Goose. The Goose responds to my gestures and only my gestures," cautions Lawn. He reads your mind, and snaps "Don't even think of trying to wear my clothes or any kind of identity theft like that. It does not work that way. So... what did you want to see?"

1) "What was that you just did, putting your hands to your chest?"
2) "I've seen you lift your hands up before. What does that mean again?"
3) "What does it mean when you spread your arms out?"
4) "What does it mean when you point at the floor?"
5) "Cheers, Ken, I've seen enough. Please dismiss the goose before it beats me up."

>1
["What was that you just did, putting your hands to your chest?"]

"That means 'come here' - I'm asking the Goose to fly along the ground." Lawn absent-mindedly repeats the gesture, and gets another face full of wings. "I'm still working on keeping the Goose calm afterwards," he says, spitting out a feather. "Geese are tempestuous beings. Easily provoked by chest thumping, and noises. Eye contact. Strange faces," he adds, tapping you on the red nose pointedly.

1) "What was that you just did, putting your hands to your chest?"
2) "I've seen you lift your hands up before. What does that mean again?"
3) "What does it mean when you spread your arms out?"
4) "What does it mean when you point at the floor?"
5) "Cheers, Ken, I've seen enough. Please dismiss the goose before it beats me up."

>2
["I've seen you lift your hands up before. What does that mean again?"]

"That is a request for the Goose to fly upwards, much like the gesture for flying towards me. I shan't demonstrate it in here, though. The Goose might hit the ceiling and get hurt." Lawn allows himself a little smile. "I'm rather proud of this one, in fact. It's incredibly hard to teach to a Goose. Easy enough to make a Goose fly parallel to the ground, but it takes a little more thought to go perpendicular!"

1) "What was that you just did, putting your hands to your chest?"
2) "I've seen you lift your hands up before. What does that mean again?"
3) "What does it mean when you spread your arms out?"
4) "What does it mean when you point at the floor?"
5) "Cheers, Ken, I've seen enough. Please dismiss the goose before it beats me up."

>3
["What does it mean when you spread your arms out?"]

"Observe!" Lawn stretches his arms out and maintains eye contact with the goose. It mirrors him, stretching its own wings out. Lawn nods happily, and rewards the goose with a little tuft of grass he was keeping in his pocket. "This little trick was inspired by watching the Goose stand proudly, wings spread proudly, honking back at a traffic jam on the motorway. I think it looks rather regal."

1) "What was that you just did, putting your hands to your chest?"
2) "I've seen you lift your hands up before. What does that mean again?"
3) "What does it mean when you spread your arms out?"
4) "What does it mean when you point at the floor?"
5) "Cheers, Ken, I've seen enough. Please dismiss the goose before it beats me up."

>4
["What does it mean when you point at the floor?"]

In response, Lawn points down and watches the goose. The goose spins and collapses backwards like it's been shot, with a death-rattle "honk". Lawn coos happily and digs around in his pocket for some treats to reward it. "Our version of the 'play dead' trick," he explains to you while the actually-very-much-alive goose eats. "I got the idea when the Goose kept fainting while we were featuring that brass band." He scratches his head. "I never solved that little mystery. Well, the Goose seems healthy enough now."

1) "What was that you just did, putting your hands to your chest?"
2) "I've seen you lift your hands up before. What does that mean again?"
3) "What does it mean when you spread your arms out?"
4) "What does it mean when you point at the floor?"
5) "Cheers, Ken, I've seen enough. Please dismiss the goose before it beats me up."

>5
["Cheers, Ken, I've seen enough. Please dismiss the goose before it beats me up."]

"Alright, if you're sure." The two of you watch the bored goose make its own way out of the caravan. "Anything else?"

1) "Can I tag along and see you perform your show? Maybe I can help."
2) "Could you remind me what the Phantom was doing to ruin your show?"
3) "Why can't you take the goose's blindfold off during the show?"
4) "If the problem is that the goose can't see your gestures, can you train it to respond to words instead?"
5) "Show me the gestures you're using to get the goose to do tricks! Please."
6) "See you around, Ken!"

>6
["See you around, Ken!"]

"Farewell."

Lawn's Caravan
Lawn's caravan smells surprisingly good, given that he shares it with a goose. The bed has been ripped out and replaced with a paddling pool. Not for the first time, you wonder if it's actually the goose's caravan and Lawn sleeps on the roof or something. The exit is west.

Ken Lawn, the carnival's resident Animal Tamer, is brooding here.

>x pool
A little inflatable children's paddling pool, you know, the kind that lasts for one week in the summer before one of your brothers explodes it trying to do a triple somersault into it from the upstairs window. This pool is remarkably intact, and even more remarkably clean and empty. You think Lawn fills it every night and empties it in the morning.

>out

Staff Area, by Adagio and Lawn
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field is directly behind the Top, although you can use one of the tent's fire exits to head inside to the west. Adagio's camper is parked to the north, and Lawn's caravan is to the east.

There's more of the staff area to the south, as well as to the southwest if you take a shortcut underneath the tent ropes.

The goose. It's still here.

>honk
(the bendy balloons)
You achieve nothing by this.

>honk goose
The goose might not like that.

>honk nose
Honk!

"HOOONK!" The aggrieved goose flies at your face! It beats its wings around your head and pecks at your nose, eliciting more honks which just make it angrier. You eventually fend off the goose and flee to...

Lawn's Caravan
Lawn's caravan smells surprisingly good, given that he shares it with a goose. The bed has been ripped out and replaced with a paddling pool. Not for the first time, you wonder if it's actually the goose's caravan and Lawn sleeps on the roof or something. The exit is west.

Ken Lawn, the carnival's resident Animal Tamer, is brooding here.

>w

Staff Area, by Adagio and Lawn
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field is directly behind the Top, although you can use one of the tent's fire exits to head inside to the west. Adagio's camper is parked to the north, and Lawn's caravan is to the east.

There's more of the staff area to the south, as well as to the southwest if you take a shortcut underneath the tent ropes.

The goose. It's still here.

>w

Seats
You're always amazed at how huge the Big Top is. It must have been how the ancient Romans felt in the Coliseum, probably. Tiers of seats surround a central ring here, which is really just a big patch of empty ground if you're being cynical, but what was the Coliseum if not a load of seats around an empty patch of ground, huh?

Right now you're in the gangways between the empty seats and the ring. You can head into the central ring, south to a backstage area out of sight of the seats, or west to the entrance tent. You can also take a shortcut through a flap to the east into the staff area, or north into the carnival.

>n

Carnival, by the Love Booth
You're in the main carnival area, north of the Big Top. People turn to you expectantly as you wander through the crowd. You can sneak into the Big Top through a fire exit flap to the south.

The rest of the carnival is to the west (and the southwest, if you take a shortcut through the tent ropes).

The love booth is here, adorned with its little sculpture of Cupid.

>x cupid
Not the original sculpture - this Cupid is plastic, and  carries a bow and a bundle of arrows with heart-shaped heads. You and the rest of the staff know that it's a functioning bow, and take care to keep Cupid pointed away from the crowd, after that one time.

On the Cupid is a bow.

>get bow
Cupid and his bow are high up on the love booth, and you can't reach that bow from down here.

>u
There's no exit that way.

>l
Carnival, by the Love Booth
You're in the main carnival area, north of the Big Top. People turn to you expectantly as you wander through the crowd. You can sneak into the Big Top through a fire exit flap to the south.

The rest of the carnival is to the west (and the southwest, if you take a shortcut through the tent ropes).

The love booth is here, adorned with its little sculpture of Cupid.

>x booth
This thing is older than anything else in the carnival, and probably older than dirt. It's an old Victorian toy. Press the button on the front, and a little window in the booth will eventually predict your future lover, giving a different result each time. It's decorated with a statue of Cupid perched on top, aiming a bow-and-arrow at nothing in particular.

>climb booth
It's too tall to get on. No handholds or anything like that.

>l
Carnival, by the Love Booth
You're in the main carnival area, north of the Big Top. People turn to you expectantly as you wander through the crowd. You can sneak into the Big Top through a fire exit flap to the south.

The rest of the carnival is to the west (and the southwest, if you take a shortcut through the tent ropes).

The love booth is here, adorned with its little sculpture of Cupid.

>press button
Little pieces of paper flit in the booth: "YOUR FUTURE GIRLFRIEND WILL BE: GORGEOUS MARKET STALL OPERATOR."

>g
Little pieces of paper flit in the booth: "YOUR FUTURE BOYFRIEND WILL BE: WEALTHY FAIRY."

>g
Little pieces of paper flit in the booth: "YOUR FUTURE HUSBAND WILL BE: CUTE BUG."

>g
Little pieces of paper flit in the booth: "YOUR FUTURE PARTNER WILL BE: EXTREMELY MISERLY QUEEN."

>g
Little pieces of paper flit in the booth: "YOUR FUTURE PARTNER WILL BE: EXTREMELY DELICIOUS GARDEN HERMIT."

>g
Little pieces of paper flit in the booth: "YOUR FUTURE SPECIAL FRIEND WILL BE: DEVIOUS LANDLORD."

A sub-crowd of children pass by, herded like sheep by a mum and dad.

>g
Little pieces of paper flit in the booth: "YOUR FUTURE SPECIAL FRIEND WILL BE: SWEET CHIMNEY-SWEEP."

>g
Little pieces of paper flit in the booth: "YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE WILL BE: VERY WEALTHY PRINTER'S DEVIL."

>g
Little pieces of paper flit in the booth: "YOUR FUTURE GIRLFRIEND WILL BE: TALL GARDEN HERMIT."

>g
Little pieces of paper flit in the booth: "YOUR FUTURE HUSBAND WILL BE: SWEET ILLUSIONIST."

>g
Little pieces of paper flit in the booth: "YOUR FUTURE WIFE WILL BE: MATURE WORLD-TRAVELLER."

You get nudged around a little in the press of people.

>l
Carnival, by the Love Booth
You're in the main carnival area, north of the Big Top. People turn to you expectantly as you wander through the crowd. You can sneak into the Big Top through a fire exit flap to the south.

The rest of the carnival is to the west (and the southwest, if you take a shortcut through the tent ropes).

The love booth is here, adorned with its little sculpture of Cupid.

>n
There's no exit that way.

>w

Carnival, outside Monster Manor
You're mingling with the crowd in the carnival. People turn to you expectantly as you wander about. You're right outside the carnival's signature ghost train ride, Monster Manor, situated to the north.

The rest of the carnival is to the south and the east.

The Monster Manor ride operator, an older surly-looking gentleman, sits in front of a wall of rules.

A little girl weaves through your legs and melts into the crowd, chased by a parent.

The operator glowers at you.

>x operator
This man - Arthur, his nametag says - helps the carnival operate Monster Manor whenever it's in town. You never really made friends with him. He's not much of a talker. Good at his job, though.

You get nudged around a little in the press of people.

>talk to operator
Arthur gives you a stern look and points at a rule behind him: "NO DISTRACTING THE RIDE OPERATOR."

Some children scream somewhere nearby. (Good screams! The kind kids do when they just wanna be loud.)

>l
Carnival, outside Monster Manor
You're mingling with the crowd in the carnival. People turn to you expectantly as you wander about. You're right outside the carnival's signature ghost train ride, Monster Manor, situated to the north.

The rest of the carnival is to the south and the east.

The Monster Manor ride operator, an older surly-looking gentleman called Arthur, sits in front of a wall of rules.

>n
You get into the buggy, the lap bar clicks into place, and you judder through the doors of Monster Manor...

In Monster Manor (in the buggy)
You're in a little buggy juddering through dark rooms.

Suddenly, out of the gloom, a mummy appears!

>svream
I didn't understand that sentence.

>scream
WAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHH!!!!

>honk nose
Honk!

The ghost train stutters around a corner and the mummy disappears behind you. Suddenly, a zombie lunges out from the dark at you!

>x zombie
A putrid-looking zombie, its flesh a rotten green, its limbs dropping off with decay! (One of the arms broke off when you and the boss were carrying this one out of the department store.)

>scream
AAAAAAAAAAAUGHH!!!!!

The ghost train crawls down a corridor and the zombie disappears from sight. You turn a corner - and suddenly, the Mad Hornist of Valencia is before you!

>x hornist
Europe's most mysterious criminal. No one knows where he came from. No one knows where he went. But some say that the Mad Hornist still stalks the streets of Ruzafa, driving the innocent to despair with his otherworldly, polyrhythmic melodies... (The boss got outbid on a werewolf animatronic, so you've had to make do with an unidentifiable celebrity waxwork and an old French horn he found in a skip. By the way, that's supposed to be "mad" as in "angry". You tried your best to make that clear. You drew the angry eyebrows on the Hornist and everything.)

On the Mad Hornist of Valencia is a French horn.

>get horn
Got it.

The ghost train leaves the hornist behind, and rolls out into the daylight again. You disembark.

Carnival, outside Monster Manor
You're mingling with the crowd in the carnival. People turn to you expectantly as you wander about. You're right outside the carnival's signature ghost train ride, Monster Manor, situated to the north.

The rest of the carnival is to the south and the east.

The Monster Manor ride operator, an older surly-looking gentleman called Arthur, sits in front of a wall of rules.

>s

Carnival, by the Entrance
You're right outside the entrance to the Big Top, in the carnival. There's a balloon stand here, but it's not getting much traction, probably because none of the balloons float. You can enter the Big Top by heading east.

There's more carnival to the south and north (and the northeast, if you take a shortcut through the tent ropes).

You can spot an unused helium canister behind the counter of the balloon stand.

The stall is being run by some local hired help, who's preoccupied with manually blowing up more balloons.

>get  canister
Got it.

>x stand
It's a rickety little stall giving out free balloons. No one seems to want them, probably because they're useless and they don't float. There's a little ban on helium balloons at the moment, because the kids kept losing their balloons, and they kept bumping into drones and getting sucked into jet engines. The balloons, not the kids.

>x helium
A pressurised canister which can be used to inflate balloons with helium. The carnival isn't actually using this right now. Kids were letting too many balloons fly into the sky. The air traffic control authorities were starting to send you some nasty letters.

You get nudged around a little in the press of people.

>drink it
There's nothing suitable to drink here.

>drink helium
There's nothing suitable to drink here.

Some children scream somewhere nearby. (Good screams! The kind kids do when they just wanna be loud.)

>i
You are juggling:
  a helium canister
  a French horn
  some bendy balloons
  a stack of pies
  a purple top hat (being worn)
  a red nose (being worn)

>x canister
A pressurised canister which can be used to inflate balloons with helium. The carnival isn't actually using this right now. Kids were letting too many balloons fly into the sky. The air traffic control authorities were starting to send you some nasty letters.

Some children scream somewhere nearby. (Good screams! The kind kids do when they just wanna be loud.)

>inflate
(the bendy balloons)
You grab a balloon and blow it up with the helium. What sculpture do you wanna make?

1) Dog
2) Basket
3) Perfect circle
4) Celebrated American poet Robert Frost

>4
[Celebrated American poet Robert Frost]

You quickly tangle the balloon into your best attempt at a Robert Frostian-shape.

Carnival, by the Entrance
You're right outside the entrance to the Big Top, in the carnival. There's a balloon stand here, but it's not getting much traction, probably because none of the balloons float. You can enter the Big Top by heading east.

There's more carnival to the south and north (and the northeast, if you take a shortcut through the tent ropes).

The stall is being run by some local hired help, who's preoccupied with manually blowing up more balloons.

>*I recognize and celebrate this grim fandango reference
I didn't understand that sentence.

>i
You are juggling:
  a Robert Frost sculpture
  a helium canister
  a French horn
  some bendy balloons
  a stack of pies
  a purple top hat (being worn)
  a red nose (being worn)

>x frost
A helium balloon which has been twisted into a balloon portrait of the celebrated American poet Robert Frost. You're pretty sure it looks like him, anyway. Nobody else recognises him, but you're... you're pretty sure.

>shake frost
I didn't understand that sentence.

>l
Carnival, by the Entrance
You're right outside the entrance to the Big Top, in the carnival. There's a balloon stand here, but it's not getting much traction, probably because none of the balloons float. You can enter the Big Top by heading east.

There's more carnival to the south and north (and the northeast, if you take a shortcut through the tent ropes).

The stall is being run by some local hired help, who's preoccupied with manually blowing up more balloons.

Some children scream somewhere nearby. (Good screams! The kind kids do when they just wanna be loud.)

>x help
Her nametag says she's Jenny. Jenny is occupied blowing up hundreds and hundreds of balloons with her own lungs just in case there's a rush for balloons. She gets paid £10 an hour, and by gosh she's earning it.

>talk to jenny
Jenny huffs and puffs and gives you a thumbs-up. Best leave her be, she's doing her best.

Jenny ties up an inflated balloon and immediately starts blowing up another without any pause for breath.

>blow up balloon
(the bendy balloons)
You grab a balloon and blow it up with the helium. What sculpture do you wanna make?

1) Dog
2) Basket
3) Perfect circle
4) Celebrated American poet Robert Frost

>3
[Perfect circle]

You quickly bend the balloon into a perfectly circular shape.

Carnival, by the Entrance
You're right outside the entrance to the Big Top, in the carnival. There's a balloon stand here, but it's not getting much traction, probably because none of the balloons float. You can enter the Big Top by heading east.

There's more carnival to the south and north (and the northeast, if you take a shortcut through the tent ropes).

The stall is being run by some local hired help, who's preoccupied with manually blowing up more balloons.

>i
You are juggling:
  a circle sculpture
  a Robert Frost sculpture
  a helium canister
  a French horn
  some bendy balloons
  a stack of pies
  a purple top hat (being worn)
  a red nose (being worn)

A girl weaves through your legs and melts into the crowd, chased by a parent.

>inflate
(the bendy balloons)
You grab a balloon and blow it up with the helium. What sculpture do you wanna make?

1) Dog
2) Basket
3) Perfect circle
4) Celebrated American poet Robert Frost

>1
[Dog]

You quickly twist the balloon into a dog-like shape.

Carnival, by the Entrance
You're right outside the entrance to the Big Top, in the carnival. There's a balloon stand here, but it's not getting much traction, probably because none of the balloons float. You can enter the Big Top by heading east.

There's more carnival to the south and north (and the northeast, if you take a shortcut through the tent ropes).

The stall is being run by some local hired help, who's preoccupied with manually blowing up more balloons.

A little girl weaves through your legs and melts into the crowd.

>inflate
(the bendy balloons)
You grab a balloon and blow it up with the helium. What sculpture do you wanna make?

1) Dog
2) Basket
3) Perfect circle
4) Celebrated American poet Robert Frost

>2
[Basket]

You quickly weave the balloon into a basket-like shape.

Carnival, by the Entrance
You're right outside the entrance to the Big Top, in the carnival. There's a balloon stand here, but it's not getting much traction, probably because none of the balloons float. You can enter the Big Top by heading east.

There's more carnival to the south and north (and the northeast, if you take a shortcut through the tent ropes).

The stall is being run by some local hired help, who's preoccupied with manually blowing up more balloons.

>s

Carnival, under the Big Wheel
You're mingling with the crowd in the carnival. Here, you're at the foot of the Big Wheel, which looms over everything. Shame it's not working today. The lever that operates it is here if you want to try spinning it yourself.

The rest of the carnival is to the north. If you need a break, you can duck through the trailers to your east to get to the private staff area and the caravans.

Oh, look at that. A stepladder must've got caught up while someone was trying to fix the controls. It's dangling from the Big Wheel's Cab 14.

You overhear one boy tell another excitedly about the rumours of a ghost that haunts the Big Top.

>n

Carnival, by the Entrance
You're right outside the entrance to the Big Top, in the carnival. There's a balloon stand here, but it's not getting much traction, probably because none of the balloons float. You can enter the Big Top by heading east.

There's more carnival to the south and north (and the northeast, if you take a shortcut through the tent ropes).

The stall is being run by some local hired help, who's preoccupied with manually blowing up more balloons.

>e

Entrance Tent
This smaller tent acts as the main entrance to the Big Top to the east. The carnival is outside to the west.

There's also a food stand here, selling cheap burgers.

>get burger
You grab a burger from the stand.

>eat it
You pluck a burger from the display and eat it. Not bad. Not good either, admittedly.

>i
You are juggling:
  a burger
    a patty
    a romaine lettuce leaf
  a basket sculpture (empty)
  a dog sculpture
  a circle sculpture
  a Robert Frost sculpture
  a helium canister
  a French horn
  some bendy balloons
  a stack of pies
  a purple top hat (being worn)
  a red nose (being worn)

>l
Entrance Tent
This smaller tent acts as the main entrance to the Big Top to the east. The carnival is outside to the west.

There's also a food stand here, selling cheap burgers.

>x patty
A grilled disc of meatlike substance.

>l
Entrance Tent
This smaller tent acts as the main entrance to the Big Top to the east. The carnival is outside to the west.

There's also a food stand here, selling cheap burgers.

>e

Seats
You're always amazed at how huge the Big Top is. It must have been how the ancient Romans felt in the Coliseum, probably. Tiers of seats surround a central ring here, which is really just a big patch of empty ground if you're being cynical, but what was the Coliseum if not a load of seats around an empty patch of ground, huh?

Right now you're in the gangways between the empty seats and the ring. You can head into the central ring, south to a backstage area out of sight of the seats, or west to the entrance tent. You can also take a shortcut through a flap to the east into the staff area, or north into the carnival.

>e

Staff Area, by Adagio and Lawn
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field is directly behind the Top, although you can use one of the tent's fire exits to head inside to the west. Adagio's camper is parked to the north, and Lawn's caravan is to the east.

There's more of the staff area to the south, as well as to the southwest if you take a shortcut underneath the tent ropes.

The goose. It's still here.

The goose pecks at a likely-looking bit of grass.

>w

Seats
You're always amazed at how huge the Big Top is. It must have been how the ancient Romans felt in the Coliseum, probably. Tiers of seats surround a central ring here, which is really just a big patch of empty ground if you're being cynical, but what was the Coliseum if not a load of seats around an empty patch of ground, huh?

Right now you're in the gangways between the empty seats and the ring. You can head into the central ring, south to a backstage area out of sight of the seats, or west to the entrance tent. You can also take a shortcut through a flap to the east into the staff area, or north into the carnival.

>in

Ring
You're in the heart of the Big Top, surrounded by empty seats. It's awfully quiet when it isn't showtime. If you don't wanna stay, you can head out into the gangways between the seats and the ring.

>out

Seats
You're always amazed at how huge the Big Top is. It must have been how the ancient Romans felt in the Coliseum, probably. Tiers of seats surround a central ring here, which is really just a big patch of empty ground if you're being cynical, but what was the Coliseum if not a load of seats around an empty patch of ground, huh?

Right now you're in the gangways between the empty seats and the ring. You can head into the central ring, south to a backstage area out of sight of the seats, or west to the entrance tent. You can also take a shortcut through a flap to the east into the staff area, or north into the carnival.

>s

Backstage
This is a curtained-off area in the Big Top where the props are kept ready for each performer's routines, and where the performers can peek out at the crowd. You can step north through the curtains to enter the main area, or you can slip out the south exit to the staff area.

Looming from the shadows is the Diabolical Contraption, the centrepiece of Adagio's escapology routine.

There's a huge cage in storage here, the cage in which Lawn and his goose perform their show.

>x cage
During his Beast Show, Lawn locks himself and the goose in this immense cage. Each of the cage's four sides is a lattice of iron bars, criss-crossing vertically and horizontally, spaced about six inches apart. The top of the cage is covered by the same kind of lattice, preventing the goose from flying out to harass the audience (and preventing Lawn from climbing out to argue with children in the audience).

>*well ok, this description is extremely detailed, so my guess is this is Very Important to helping lawn out
You seem to want to talk to someone, but I can't see whom.

>l
Backstage
This is a curtained-off area in the Big Top where the props are kept ready for each performer's routines, and where the performers can peek out at the crowd. You can step north through the curtains to enter the main area, or you can slip out the south exit to the staff area.

Looming from the shadows is the Diabolical Contraption, the centrepiece of Adagio's escapology routine.

There's a huge cage in storage here, the cage in which Lawn and his goose perform their show.

>x contraption
It's essentially a water tank with a big mess of pulleys and gears suspended over it. It's part of Adagio's act. The idea is that Adagio gets tied up in the gears and stuff and she gets lowered into the water, and she has to free herself before she drowns. A thin wet rope dangles over the side.

>xx rope
I didn't understand that sentence.

>x rope
It's a thin frayed rope - you think it's the one which ties up Adagio's hands and feet when she's in the Contraption. It's wet from being dunked in the water tank.

>i
You are juggling:
  a burger
    a patty
    a romaine lettuce leaf
  a basket sculpture (empty)
  a dog sculpture
  a circle sculpture
  a Robert Frost sculpture
  a helium canister
  a French horn
  some bendy balloons
  a stack of pies
  a purple top hat (being worn)
  a red nose (being worn)

>get rope
You give it a little tug and watch it weave through the machine. It's threaded all over through there, so you won't be able to pull the rope out. This is the rope Adagio is tied to during her Magic Show, so you could pull it during the act if it goes wrong and you need to rescue her.

>pull rope
You give it a little tug and watch it weave through the machine. It's threaded all over through there, so you won't be able to pull the rope out. This is the rope Adagio is tied to during her Magic Show, so you could pull it during the act if it goes wrong and you need to rescue her.

>x horn
Rusty, but not so rusty that you couldn't play it if you wanted.

>blow horn
You play your best rendition of Entrance of the Gladiators. Honk honk honk!

>l
Backstage
This is a curtained-off area in the Big Top where the props are kept ready for each performer's routines, and where the performers can peek out at the crowd. You can step north through the curtains to enter the main area, or you can slip out the south exit to the staff area.

Looming from the shadows is the Diabolical Contraption, the centrepiece of Adagio's escapology routine.

There's a huge cage in storage here, the cage in which Lawn and his goose perform their show.

>n

Seats
You're always amazed at how huge the Big Top is. It must have been how the ancient Romans felt in the Coliseum, probably. Tiers of seats surround a central ring here, which is really just a big patch of empty ground if you're being cynical, but what was the Coliseum if not a load of seats around an empty patch of ground, huh?

Right now you're in the gangways between the empty seats and the ring. You can head into the central ring, south to a backstage area out of sight of the seats, or west to the entrance tent. You can also take a shortcut through a flap to the east into the staff area, or north into the carnival.

>s

Backstage
This is a curtained-off area in the Big Top where the props are kept ready for each performer's routines, and where the performers can peek out at the crowd. You can step north through the curtains to enter the main area, or you can slip out the south exit to the staff area.

Looming from the shadows is the Diabolical Contraption, the centrepiece of Adagio's escapology routine.

There's a huge cage in storage here, the cage in which Lawn and his goose perform their show.

>s

Staff Area, by the boss's camper
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field has direct access to the Big Top's backstage area through the flap to the north. The Ringmaster has parked his camper as close as he can get to it - it's just to the south.

There's more of the staff area to the east, as well as to the northeast if you take a shortcut underneath the tent ropes. You can see the Big Wheel to the west over the various trailers which you can cut through.

You can see your clown car (empty) here.

>n

Backstage
This is a curtained-off area in the Big Top where the props are kept ready for each performer's routines, and where the performers can peek out at the crowd. You can step north through the curtains to enter the main area, or you can slip out the south exit to the staff area.

Looming from the shadows is the Diabolical Contraption, the centrepiece of Adagio's escapology routine.

There's a huge cage in storage here, the cage in which Lawn and his goose perform their show.

>n

Seats
You're always amazed at how huge the Big Top is. It must have been how the ancient Romans felt in the Coliseum, probably. Tiers of seats surround a central ring here, which is really just a big patch of empty ground if you're being cynical, but what was the Coliseum if not a load of seats around an empty patch of ground, huh?

Right now you're in the gangways between the empty seats and the ring. You can head into the central ring, south to a backstage area out of sight of the seats, or west to the entrance tent. You can also take a shortcut through a flap to the east into the staff area, or north into the carnival.

>n

Carnival, by the Love Booth
You're in the main carnival area, north of the Big Top. People turn to you expectantly as you wander through the crowd. You can sneak into the Big Top through a fire exit flap to the south.

The rest of the carnival is to the west (and the southwest, if you take a shortcut through the tent ropes).

The love booth is here, adorned with its little sculpture of Cupid.

Some children scream somewhere nearby. (Good screams! The kind kids do when they just wanna be loud.)

>s

Seats
You're always amazed at how huge the Big Top is. It must have been how the ancient Romans felt in the Coliseum, probably. Tiers of seats surround a central ring here, which is really just a big patch of empty ground if you're being cynical, but what was the Coliseum if not a load of seats around an empty patch of ground, huh?

Right now you're in the gangways between the empty seats and the ring. You can head into the central ring, south to a backstage area out of sight of the seats, or west to the entrance tent. You can also take a shortcut through a flap to the east into the staff area, or north into the carnival.

>w

Entrance Tent
This smaller tent acts as the main entrance to the Big Top to the east. The carnival is outside to the west.

There's also a food stand here, selling cheap burgers.

>w

Carnival, by the Entrance
You're right outside the entrance to the Big Top, in the carnival. There's a balloon stand here, but it's not getting much traction, probably because none of the balloons float. You can enter the Big Top by heading east.

There's more carnival to the south and north (and the northeast, if you take a shortcut through the tent ropes).

The stall is being run by some local hired help, who's preoccupied with manually blowing up more balloons.

A little girl weaves through your legs and melts into the crowd, chased by a parent.

>w
There's no exit that way.

You overhear one little girl tell another excitedly about the rumours of a ghost that haunts the Big Top.

>ne

Carnival, by the Love Booth
You're in the main carnival area, north of the Big Top. People turn to you expectantly as you wander through the crowd. You can sneak into the Big Top through a fire exit flap to the south.

The rest of the carnival is to the west (and the southwest, if you take a shortcut through the tent ropes).

The love booth is here, adorned with its little sculpture of Cupid.

>s

Seats
You're always amazed at how huge the Big Top is. It must have been how the ancient Romans felt in the Coliseum, probably. Tiers of seats surround a central ring here, which is really just a big patch of empty ground if you're being cynical, but what was the Coliseum if not a load of seats around an empty patch of ground, huh?

Right now you're in the gangways between the empty seats and the ring. You can head into the central ring, south to a backstage area out of sight of the seats, or west to the entrance tent. You can also take a shortcut through a flap to the east into the staff area, or north into the carnival.

>e

Staff Area, by Adagio and Lawn
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field is directly behind the Top, although you can use one of the tent's fire exits to head inside to the west. Adagio's camper is parked to the north, and Lawn's caravan is to the east.

There's more of the staff area to the south, as well as to the southwest if you take a shortcut underneath the tent ropes.

The goose. It's still here.

>w

Seats
You're always amazed at how huge the Big Top is. It must have been how the ancient Romans felt in the Coliseum, probably. Tiers of seats surround a central ring here, which is really just a big patch of empty ground if you're being cynical, but what was the Coliseum if not a load of seats around an empty patch of ground, huh?

Right now you're in the gangways between the empty seats and the ring. You can head into the central ring, south to a backstage area out of sight of the seats, or west to the entrance tent. You can also take a shortcut through a flap to the east into the staff area, or north into the carnival.

>s

Backstage
This is a curtained-off area in the Big Top where the props are kept ready for each performer's routines, and where the performers can peek out at the crowd. You can step north through the curtains to enter the main area, or you can slip out the south exit to the staff area.

Looming from the shadows is the Diabolical Contraption, the centrepiece of Adagio's escapology routine.

There's a huge cage in storage here, the cage in which Lawn and his goose perform their show.

>s

Staff Area, by the boss's camper
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field has direct access to the Big Top's backstage area through the flap to the north. The Ringmaster has parked his camper as close as he can get to it - it's just to the south.

There's more of the staff area to the east, as well as to the northeast if you take a shortcut underneath the tent ropes. You can see the Big Wheel to the west over the various trailers which you can cut through.

You can see your clown car (empty) here.

>i
You are juggling:
  a burger
    a patty
    a romaine lettuce leaf
  a basket sculpture (empty)
  a dog sculpture
  a circle sculpture
  a Robert Frost sculpture
  a helium canister
  a French horn
  some bendy balloons
  a stack of pies
  a purple top hat (being worn)
  a red nose (being worn)

>l
Staff Area, by the boss's camper
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field has direct access to the Big Top's backstage area through the flap to the north. The Ringmaster has parked his camper as close as he can get to it - it's just to the south.

There's more of the staff area to the east, as well as to the northeast if you take a shortcut underneath the tent ropes. You can see the Big Wheel to the west over the various trailers which you can cut through.

You can see your clown car (empty) here.

>get in car
(the clown car)
You squeeze into your little car.

>l
Staff Area, by the boss's camper (in the clown car)
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field has direct access to the Big Top's backstage area through the flap to the north. The Ringmaster has parked his camper as close as he can get to it - it's just to the south.

There's more of the staff area to the east, as well as to the northeast if you take a shortcut underneath the tent ropes. You can see the Big Wheel to the west over the various trailers which you can cut through.

>ne

Staff Area, by Adagio and Lawn (in the clown car)
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field is directly behind the Top, although you can use one of the tent's fire exits to head inside to the west. Adagio's camper is parked to the north, and Lawn's caravan is to the east.

There's more of the staff area to the south, as well as to the southwest if you take a shortcut underneath the tent ropes.

The goose. It's still here.

>s

Staff Area, by Freda and you (in the clown car)
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field is right in the corner. You and Freda have tucked yourselves away here. Your own caravan is to the south; Freda's camper is east.

There's more of the staff area to the north and to the west.

>n

Staff Area, by Adagio and Lawn (in the clown car)
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field is directly behind the Top, although you can use one of the tent's fire exits to head inside to the west. Adagio's camper is parked to the north, and Lawn's caravan is to the east.

There's more of the staff area to the south, as well as to the southwest if you take a shortcut underneath the tent ropes.

The goose. It's still here.

>w

Seats (in the clown car)
You're always amazed at how huge the Big Top is. It must have been how the ancient Romans felt in the Coliseum, probably. Tiers of seats surround a central ring here, which is really just a big patch of empty ground if you're being cynical, but what was the Coliseum if not a load of seats around an empty patch of ground, huh?

Right now you're in the gangways between the empty seats and the ring. You can head into the central ring, south to a backstage area out of sight of the seats, or west to the entrance tent. You can also take a shortcut through a flap to the east into the staff area, or north into the carnival.

>n

Carnival, by the Love Booth (in the clown car)
You're in the main carnival area, north of the Big Top. People turn to you expectantly as you wander through the crowd. You can sneak into the Big Top through a fire exit flap to the south.

The rest of the carnival is to the west (and the southwest, if you take a shortcut through the tent ropes).

The love booth is here, adorned with its little sculpture of Cupid.

You get nudged around a little in the press of people.

>u
There's no exit that way.

>out
You get out of the clown car.

Carnival, by the Love Booth
You're in the main carnival area, north of the Big Top. People turn to you expectantly as you wander through the crowd. You can sneak into the Big Top through a fire exit flap to the south.

The rest of the carnival is to the west (and the southwest, if you take a shortcut through the tent ropes).

The love booth is here, adorned with its little sculpture of Cupid.

You can also see your clown car (empty) here.

>get on car
(the clown car)
You squeeze into your little car.

>l
Carnival, by the Love Booth (in the clown car)
You're in the main carnival area, north of the Big Top. People turn to you expectantly as you wander through the crowd. You can sneak into the Big Top through a fire exit flap to the south.

The rest of the carnival is to the west (and the southwest, if you take a shortcut through the tent ropes).

The love booth is here, adorned with its little sculpture of Cupid.

>x cupid
Not the original sculpture - this Cupid is plastic, and  carries a bow and a bundle of arrows with heart-shaped heads. You and the rest of the staff know that it's a functioning bow, and take care to keep Cupid pointed away from the crowd, after that one time.

On the Cupid is a bow.

>get bow
Cupid and his bow are high up on the love booth, and you can't reach that bow from down here.

>climb booth
It's too tall to get on. No handholds or anything like that.

You get nudged around a little in the press of people.

>l
Carnival, by the Love Booth (in the clown car)
You're in the main carnival area, north of the Big Top. People turn to you expectantly as you wander through the crowd. You can sneak into the Big Top through a fire exit flap to the south.

The rest of the carnival is to the west (and the southwest, if you take a shortcut through the tent ropes).

The love booth is here, adorned with its little sculpture of Cupid.

>out
You get out of the clown car.

Carnival, by the Love Booth
You're in the main carnival area, north of the Big Top. People turn to you expectantly as you wander through the crowd. You can sneak into the Big Top through a fire exit flap to the south.

The rest of the carnival is to the west (and the southwest, if you take a shortcut through the tent ropes).

The love booth is here, adorned with its little sculpture of Cupid.

You can also see your clown car (empty) here.

>climb car
(the clown car)
You don't love getting too far off the ground. It might be important elsewhere, but not here.

>s

Seats
You're always amazed at how huge the Big Top is. It must have been how the ancient Romans felt in the Coliseum, probably. Tiers of seats surround a central ring here, which is really just a big patch of empty ground if you're being cynical, but what was the Coliseum if not a load of seats around an empty patch of ground, huh?

Right now you're in the gangways between the empty seats and the ring. You can head into the central ring, south to a backstage area out of sight of the seats, or west to the entrance tent. You can also take a shortcut through a flap to the east into the staff area, or north into the carnival.

>s

Backstage
This is a curtained-off area in the Big Top where the props are kept ready for each performer's routines, and where the performers can peek out at the crowd. You can step north through the curtains to enter the main area, or you can slip out the south exit to the staff area.

Looming from the shadows is the Diabolical Contraption, the centrepiece of Adagio's escapology routine.

There's a huge cage in storage here, the cage in which Lawn and his goose perform their show.

>w
There's no exit that way.

>s

Staff Area, by the boss's camper
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field has direct access to the Big Top's backstage area through the flap to the north. The Ringmaster has parked his camper as close as he can get to it - it's just to the south.

There's more of the staff area to the east, as well as to the northeast if you take a shortcut underneath the tent ropes. You can see the Big Wheel to the west over the various trailers which you can cut through.

>s

Ringmaster's Camper
The Ringmaster's got one of those super-nice campers with the wood panelling and everything. Since he does most of the actual running of the place, the chairs are piled high with legal paperwork and accounts and bills and correspondence. You can clamber out north to the staff area.

Your boss the Ringmaster is pacing around nervously.

The Ringmaster's hat seems to twitch a little. He winces.

>give hat to ringmaster
(the purple top hat to the Ringmaster)
The boss looks surprised as you hand him the purple hat. "Oh! Th-that's my hat! Then..." He takes off the black hat and hands it to you, a little sheepishly. "I was sure this was... Well, perhaps you could give this back? To... um, wh-whoever else wears hats? Does, um, does Freda like hats?"

As he puts his rightful hat back on, you peek into the black hat. A little rabbit stares back at you!

>e
There's no exit that way.

>e
There's no exit that way.

>n

Staff Area, by the boss's camper
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field has direct access to the Big Top's backstage area through the flap to the north. The Ringmaster has parked his camper as close as he can get to it - it's just to the south.

There's more of the staff area to the east, as well as to the northeast if you take a shortcut underneath the tent ropes. You can see the Big Wheel to the west over the various trailers which you can cut through.

>e

Staff Area, by Freda and you
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field is right in the corner. You and Freda have tucked yourselves away here. Your own caravan is to the south; Freda's camper is east.

There's more of the staff area to the north and to the west.

>n

Staff Area, by Adagio and Lawn
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field is directly behind the Top, although you can use one of the tent's fire exits to head inside to the west. Adagio's camper is parked to the north, and Lawn's caravan is to the east.

There's more of the staff area to the south, as well as to the southwest if you take a shortcut underneath the tent ropes.

The goose. It's still here.

The goose waddles around a little.

>n

Adagio's Camper
Adagio keeps her camper van neat as a pin - it's almost like she doesn't live here. The inside is lined with shelves of reference books on magic and academic things she's into. She's also converted the, you know, the bit that hangs over the driver's cab where you keep your children? She's converted that into a hutch. You can go south to head outside.

Adagio lounges here, idly shuffling a deck of cards.

You can also see a hutch (in which is a wicker bowl of salad) here.

A little nose peeks out of the black hat, swivelling like a periscope until it detects the little wicker bowl of salad. The rabbit launches herself out, and what happens next is a bit like those old cartoons, you know? Where two characters get in a fight and it's just a big spinning dust cloud with arms and legs popping out? Well, when the dust settles, even the wicker bowl has been devoured. The sated rabbit hops out of the hutch and into the hat again.

Adagio smiles. "Ah! There's my hat. Thank you, Lola." You pass her the top hat and she puts it on, rabbit and all.

>talk to adagio
"Oh, hullo, Lola," says Adagio. She squares up her deck of cards. "What brings you here?"

1) "Should we put on your magic show and try this escape trick again? I can be the assistant."
2) "Suppose you can't just put a new blade up in the Diabolical Contraption?"
3) "Is the water tank contraption thing working correctly?"
4) "Could you try putting a plant in the audience for this escape trick?"
5) "See you around, Dadge."

>5
["See you around, Dadge."]

"Goodbye, Lola."

Adagio's Camper
Adagio keeps her camper van neat as a pin - it's almost like she doesn't live here. The inside is lined with shelves of reference books on magic and academic things she's into. She's also converted the, you know, the bit that hangs over the driver's cab where you keep your children? She's converted that into a hutch. You can go south to head outside.

Adagio lounges here, idly shuffling a deck of cards.

You can also see a hutch (empty) here.

Adagio flexes the deck of cards absent-mindedly.

>l
Adagio's Camper
Adagio keeps her camper van neat as a pin - it's almost like she doesn't live here. The inside is lined with shelves of reference books on magic and academic things she's into. She's also converted the, you know, the bit that hangs over the driver's cab where you keep your children? She's converted that into a hutch. You can go south to head outside.

Adagio lounges here, idly shuffling a deck of cards.

You can also see a hutch (empty) here.

>x rabbit
[first getting Adagio to lift her hat so you can check the rabbit out]
A white rabbit with cute black markings around the eyes. She's curled up inside the hat. She seems to be eyeing up that bit of lettuce you're carrying, just waiting for you to leave it unattended.

>pet rabbit
[first getting Adagio to lift her hat]
You give the rabbit a good scratch behind the ears.

>*hmm so the rabbit's gonna be important to cutting the rope
I didn't understand that sentence.

>l
Adagio's Camper
Adagio keeps her camper van neat as a pin - it's almost like she doesn't live here. The inside is lined with shelves of reference books on magic and academic things she's into. She's also converted the, you know, the bit that hangs over the driver's cab where you keep your children? She's converted that into a hutch. You can go south to head outside.

Adagio lounges here, idly shuffling a deck of cards.

You can also see a hutch (empty) here.

>ask adagio about rabbit
"What do you want to know about her?" asks Adagio.

1) "What's your rabbit's name again?"
2) "What tricks can she do?"
3) "Rabbits are very food-motivated, aren't they? Does she like treats?"
4) "I wanna ask you about something else..."
5) "That's all, bye!"

>3
["Rabbits are very food-motivated, aren't they? Does she like treats?"]

"Oh yes, don't I know it," mutters Adagio a little peevishly. "If there's any leafy greens around, she's on them. She's nearly chewed the clothes off me because I dropped a shred of lettuce on myself. She unmoored a yacht once because she thought the algae on the rope might be tasty."

1) "What's your rabbit's name again?"
2) "What tricks can she do?"
3) "Rabbits are very food-motivated, aren't they? Does she like treats?"
4) "...Did you take your rabbit on a yacht ride?"
5) "I wanna ask you about something else..."
6) "That's all, bye!"

>4
["...Did you take your rabbit on a yacht ride?"]

Adagio looks defensive. "I thought she deserved a holiday. Leave me alone."

1) "What's your rabbit's name again?"
2) "What tricks can she do?"
3) "Rabbits are very food-motivated, aren't they? Does she like treats?"
4) "I wanna ask you about something else..."
5) "That's all, bye!"

>*well ok, the yacht story is sort of making it obvious
That command isn't available in choice mode.

>2
["What tricks can she do?"]

"None, really. I don't have Kentucky's magic touch. I can use her as a prop, pull her out of a hat, pull the hat out of a basket - all the classic nested containers, you know - but when it comes to training her I'm afraid she ignores anything that isn't food, bless her."

1) "What's your rabbit's name again?"
2) "What tricks can she do?"
3) "Rabbits are very food-motivated, aren't they? Does she like treats?"
4) "I wanna ask you about something else..."
5) "That's all, bye!"

>5
["That's all, bye!"]

"Bye, Lola."

Adagio's Camper
Adagio keeps her camper van neat as a pin - it's almost like she doesn't live here. The inside is lined with shelves of reference books on magic and academic things she's into. She's also converted the, you know, the bit that hangs over the driver's cab where you keep your children? She's converted that into a hutch. You can go south to head outside.

Adagio lounges here, idly shuffling a deck of cards.

You can also see a hutch (empty) here.

>w
There's no exit that way.

>s

Staff Area, by Adagio and Lawn
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field is directly behind the Top, although you can use one of the tent's fire exits to head inside to the west. Adagio's camper is parked to the north, and Lawn's caravan is to the east.

There's more of the staff area to the south, as well as to the southwest if you take a shortcut underneath the tent ropes.

The goose. It's still here.

>w

Seats
You're always amazed at how huge the Big Top is. It must have been how the ancient Romans felt in the Coliseum, probably. Tiers of seats surround a central ring here, which is really just a big patch of empty ground if you're being cynical, but what was the Coliseum if not a load of seats around an empty patch of ground, huh?

Right now you're in the gangways between the empty seats and the ring. You can head into the central ring, south to a backstage area out of sight of the seats, or west to the entrance tent. You can also take a shortcut through a flap to the east into the staff area, or north into the carnival.

>w

Entrance Tent
This smaller tent acts as the main entrance to the Big Top to the east. The carnival is outside to the west.

There's also a food stand here, selling cheap burgers.

>e

Seats
You're always amazed at how huge the Big Top is. It must have been how the ancient Romans felt in the Coliseum, probably. Tiers of seats surround a central ring here, which is really just a big patch of empty ground if you're being cynical, but what was the Coliseum if not a load of seats around an empty patch of ground, huh?

Right now you're in the gangways between the empty seats and the ring. You can head into the central ring, south to a backstage area out of sight of the seats, or west to the entrance tent. You can also take a shortcut through a flap to the east into the staff area, or north into the carnival.

>s

Backstage
This is a curtained-off area in the Big Top where the props are kept ready for each performer's routines, and where the performers can peek out at the crowd. You can step north through the curtains to enter the main area, or you can slip out the south exit to the staff area.

Looming from the shadows is the Diabolical Contraption, the centrepiece of Adagio's escapology routine.

There's a huge cage in storage here, the cage in which Lawn and his goose perform their show.

>get lettuce
Got it.

>put lettuce on rope
The limp lettuce sticks easily to the wet rope! You wind the lettuce around the rope.

>l
Backstage
This is a curtained-off area in the Big Top where the props are kept ready for each performer's routines, and where the performers can peek out at the crowd. You can step north through the curtains to enter the main area, or you can slip out the south exit to the staff area.

Looming from the shadows is the Diabolical Contraption, the centrepiece of Adagio's escapology routine.

There's a huge cage in storage here, the cage in which Lawn and his goose perform their show.

>n

Seats
You're always amazed at how huge the Big Top is. It must have been how the ancient Romans felt in the Coliseum, probably. Tiers of seats surround a central ring here, which is really just a big patch of empty ground if you're being cynical, but what was the Coliseum if not a load of seats around an empty patch of ground, huh?

Right now you're in the gangways between the empty seats and the ring. You can head into the central ring, south to a backstage area out of sight of the seats, or west to the entrance tent. You can also take a shortcut through a flap to the east into the staff area, or north into the carnival.

>e

Staff Area, by Adagio and Lawn
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field is directly behind the Top, although you can use one of the tent's fire exits to head inside to the west. Adagio's camper is parked to the north, and Lawn's caravan is to the east.

There's more of the staff area to the south, as well as to the southwest if you take a shortcut underneath the tent ropes.

The goose. It's still here.

The goose stares at the sky wistfully.

>e

Lawn's Caravan
Lawn's caravan smells surprisingly good, given that he shares it with a goose. The bed has been ripped out and replaced with a paddling pool. Not for the first time, you wonder if it's actually the goose's caravan and Lawn sleeps on the roof or something. The exit is west.

Ken Lawn, the carnival's resident Animal Tamer, is brooding here.

>w

Staff Area, by Adagio and Lawn
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field is directly behind the Top, although you can use one of the tent's fire exits to head inside to the west. Adagio's camper is parked to the north, and Lawn's caravan is to the east.

There's more of the staff area to the south, as well as to the southwest if you take a shortcut underneath the tent ropes.

The goose. It's still here.

>n

Adagio's Camper
Adagio keeps her camper van neat as a pin - it's almost like she doesn't live here. The inside is lined with shelves of reference books on magic and academic things she's into. She's also converted the, you know, the bit that hangs over the driver's cab where you keep your children? She's converted that into a hutch. You can go south to head outside.

Adagio lounges here, idly shuffling a deck of cards.

You can also see a hutch (empty) here.

>talk to adagio
"Oh, hullo, Lola," says Adagio. She squares up her deck of cards. "What brings you here?"

1) "Should we put on your magic show and try this escape trick again? I can be the assistant."
2) "Suppose you can't just put a new blade up in the Diabolical Contraption?"
3) "Is the water tank contraption thing working correctly?"
4) "Could you try putting a plant in the audience for this escape trick?"
5) "See you around, Dadge."

>1
["Should we put on your magic show and try this escape trick again? I can be the assistant."]

"Alright," says Adagio. "Let's try it again..."



Please press SPACE to continue.

It's near the end of Adagio's magic show. Time for the big finish: the Escape From the Diabolical Contraption. You select a few random, un-Phantom-like audience members. They truss up Adagio's hands and feet behind her back with the rope, and hoist her up and over the water tank so that her tummy points down. The gears through which the rope winds will slowly unspool it, lowering Adagio into the water and drowning her - unless, of course, she can miraculously untie herself.

The gears click into place, and Adagio starts her descent. You step back to watch, and there, at the back of the stands, you see...

It's the Phantom! Something glints in their hands. They turn and leave through the emergency exit.

"And now, the great escape!" announces Adagio. And then a pause. And then she mutters "Alright, help me out, Lola."


Ring
You're in the heart of the Big Top, surrounded by a probably-adoring audience. The circus is in full swing right now. If you headed out right now you'd be in the gangways between the seats, but it's showtime now - you aren't leaving this ring until this show ends, one way or another.

Adagio is tied up in the Diabolical Contraption, being lowered into the water.

You can also see a black top hat (in which is a rabbit) here.

A little nose peeks out of the black top hat, pointed straight at the lettuce-wrapped rope. The rabbit launches herself out of the hat and tries to scramble up the side of the Diabolical Contraption. But the sides of the water tank are too slick and too tall; her little claws can't find any purchase. Dejected, she hops back into the hat, but keeps an eye on the rope.

>x tank
It's essentially a water tank with a big mess of pulleys and gears suspended over it. Adagio is tied up in them, and she's being slowly lowered into the water. A thin wet rope trusses up Adagio's hands and feet, and is wrapped in floppy lettuce.

>get rabbit
The rabbit rolls over and kicks your hand away as you reach for her. Perhaps she's happy enough where she is.

Adagio tugs at the knot with her fingertips, to no avail.

>i
You are juggling:
  a burger
    a patty
  a basket sculpture (empty)
  a dog sculpture
  a circle sculpture
  a Robert Frost sculpture
  a helium canister
  a French horn
  some bendy balloons
  a stack of pies
  a red nose (being worn)

The rabbit pokes her head out of the hat briefly, just to check that the lettuced rope is still there.

>throw pie at adagio
You throw a pie in a beautiful arc and splat Adagio at her most vulnerable. The crowd cheers wildly. Adagio hisses a couple of elaborate swear words at you. Sorry, Adagio. It seemed really funny.

>*well points for letting me do that
I didn't understand that sentence.

>throw pie at rabbit
You think animals maybe don't get the joke of pie throwing, and they would think you were just attacking them instead, and that would make you very sad. You hold your fire.

Adagio swings herself around a little like a pendulum, but no luck. "Oh boy," she says.

>throw pie at me
The self-pieing is a cheap laugh, but a laugh nonetheless. Splat!

You instinctively wipe custard from your eyes with both hands. It's true what they say - it does burn your eyes!

The rabbit cranes her head to get a better look at the lettuced rope over the tall water tank.

>honk nose
Honk!

The rabbit pokes her head out of the hat briefly, just to check that the lettuced rope is still there.

>throw piee at audience
You can't see any such thing.

>get hat
Yoink!

Adagio looks deep in thought, and you hope she's figured something out- oops, never mind, she's back to wiggling in the ropes.

>climb tank
You start climbing the Diabolical Contraption, but the audience starts getting restless! "Hey! That clown's climbing up to untie the magician!" "How disappointing! How anticlimactic!" "Let's throw missiles at them!" You'll just have to stay on the ground and find a way to free Adagio remotely.

>throw hat at tank
Although the hat and rabbit are pretty light, you don't trust yourself to frisbee the hat that far and you don't want to risk hurting the rabbit trying.

The rabbit pokes her head out of the hat briefly, just to check that the lettuced rope is still there.

Adagio's about halfway down now. Her tummy grazes the water, which soaks into her clothes. "Yeesh," she says.

>get rabbit
The rabbit rolls over and kicks your hand away as you reach for her. Perhaps she's happy enough where she is.

The rabbit gazes wistfully at the lettuced rope.

>i
You are juggling:
  a black top hat
    a rabbit
  a burger
    a patty
  a basket sculpture (empty)
  a dog sculpture
  a circle sculpture
  a Robert Frost sculpture
  a helium canister
  a French horn
  some bendy balloons
  a stack of pies
  a red nose (being worn)

The rabbit gazes wistfully at the lettuced rope.

>attach balloon to hat
You would achieve nothing by this.

The water's starting to claim Adagio. The audience is getting worried. "Help her, clown!" shouts one. Their seatmate turns to them and explains in great detail about escapology and how the idea is that the escapologist traditionally unties themselves.

>talk to adagio
"I think I'm in trouble," mutters Adagio, feigning a smile at the audience.

1) "What's the matter, Adagio?"
2) "This is getting dangerous. We need to stop the show."
3) "Let's keep going."

>2
["This is getting dangerous. We need to stop the show."]

Adagio sighs. You give her a stern look. She sighs again. "Fine."

You run to the rope and hoist her up before she drowns. The audience murmurs as a bedraggled Adagio grabs her hat and lopes off. You try to cover with a few skits, but it's no good, really. The vibes are wrong. You'll catch up with Adagio as soon as you can and make sure she's okay.



Please press SPACE to continue.

"Well, that one wasn't so good either," says Adagio, now in dry clothes but still looking bedraggled in spirit. "Sorry to drag you into this, Lola." She sighs and stares into space for a while. "I saw my rabbit trying to climb the Contraption. Did you do something, Lola? Whatever it was, I think you're on the right track. I think she could chew through the rope. She just needs a little more help to get high enough."

Adagio's Camper
Adagio keeps her camper van neat as a pin - it's almost like she doesn't live here. The inside is lined with shelves of reference books on magic and academic things she's into. She's also converted the, you know, the bit that hangs over the driver's cab where you keep your children? She's converted that into a hutch. You can go south to head outside.

Adagio lounges here, idly shuffling a deck of cards.

You can also see a hutch (empty) here.

>i
You are juggling:
  a burger
    a patty
  a basket sculpture (empty)
  a dog sculpture
  a circle sculpture
  a Robert Frost sculpture
  a helium canister
  a French horn
  some bendy balloons
  a stack of pies
  a red nose (being worn)

>l
Adagio's Camper
Adagio keeps her camper van neat as a pin - it's almost like she doesn't live here. The inside is lined with shelves of reference books on magic and academic things she's into. She's also converted the, you know, the bit that hangs over the driver's cab where you keep your children? She's converted that into a hutch. You can go south to head outside.

Adagio lounges here, idly shuffling a deck of cards.

You can also see a hutch (empty) here.

>talk to adagio
"Oh, hullo, Lola," says Adagio. She squares up her deck of cards. "What brings you here?"

1) "Should we put on your magic show and try this escape trick again? I can be the assistant."
2) "Suppose you can't just put a new blade up in the Diabolical Contraption?"
3) "Is the water tank contraption thing working correctly?"
4) "Could you try putting a plant in the audience for this escape trick?"
5) "See you around, Dadge."

>1
["Should we put on your magic show and try this escape trick again? I can be the assistant."]

"Alright," says Adagio. "Let's try it again..."



Please press SPACE to continue.

It's near the end of Adagio's magic show. Time for the big finish: the Escape From the Diabolical Contraption. You select a few random, un-Phantom-like audience members. They truss up Adagio's hands and feet behind her back with the rope, and hoist her up and over the water tank so that her tummy points down. The gears through which the rope winds will slowly unspool it, lowering Adagio into the water and drowning her - unless, of course, she can miraculously untie herself.

The gears click into place, and Adagio starts her descent. You step back to watch, and there, at the back of the stands, you see...

It's the Phantom! Something glints in their hands. They turn and leave through the emergency exit.

"And now, the great escape!" announces Adagio. And then a pause. And then she mutters "Alright, help me out, Lola."


Ring
You're in the heart of the Big Top, surrounded by a probably-adoring audience. The circus is in full swing right now. If you headed out right now you'd be in the gangways between the seats, but it's showtime now - you aren't leaving this ring until this show ends, one way or another.

Adagio is tied up in the Diabolical Contraption, being lowered into the water.

You can also see a black top hat (in which is a rabbit) here.

The rabbit spies the lettuce-covered rope from her hat and launches herself again, making another attempt to scale the water tank. It's too slick and slippery, though, and soon enough the disappointed rabbit returns to her hat.

>get hat
Got it.

>tie balloon to hat
You would achieve nothing by this.

Adagio tugs at the knot with her fingertips, to no avail.

>tie balloon
What do you want to tie the bendy balloons to?

>hat
You would achieve nothing by this.

>i
You are juggling:
  a black top hat
    a rabbit
  a burger
    a patty
  a basket sculpture (empty)
  a dog sculpture
  a circle sculpture
  a Robert Frost sculpture
  a helium canister
  a French horn
  some bendy balloons
  a stack of pies
  a red nose (being worn)

>put helium in balloon
Those can't contain things.

Adagio swings herself around a little like a pendulum, but no luck. "Oh boy," she says.

>x canister
A pressurised canister which can be used to inflate balloons with helium. The carnival isn't actually using this right now. Kids were letting too many balloons fly into the sky. The air traffic control authorities were starting to send you some nasty letters.

>inflate balloon with helium
You grab a balloon and blow it up with the helium. What sculpture do you wanna make?

1) Dog
2) Basket
3) Perfect circle
4) Celebrated American poet Robert Frost

>2
[Basket]

(As you work on this, the basket sculpture you already have mysteriously springs a leak and forces you to toss it away...)

You quickly weave the balloon into a basket-like shape.

Ring
You're in the heart of the Big Top, surrounded by a probably-adoring audience. The circus is in full swing right now. If you headed out right now you'd be in the gangways between the seats, but it's showtime now - you aren't leaving this ring until this show ends, one way or another.

Adagio is tied up in the Diabolical Contraption, being lowered into the water.

The rabbit pokes her head out of the hat briefly, just to check that the lettuced rope is still there.

>put hat in basket
The hat fits just about perfectly!

The rabbit cranes her head to get a better look at the lettuced rope over the tall water tank.

Adagio looks deep in thought, and you hope she's figured something out- oops, never mind, she's back to wiggling in the ropes.

>drop hat
You haven't got that.

The rabbit pokes her head out of the hat briefly, just to check that the lettuced rope is still there.

>throw hat at tank
(first taking the black top hat)
Although the hat and rabbit are pretty light, you don't trust yourself to frisbee the hat that far and you don't want to risk hurting the rabbit trying.

The rabbit gazes wistfully at the lettuced rope.

Adagio's about halfway down now. Her tummy grazes the water, which soaks into her clothes. "Yeesh," she says.

>release hat
You gently set the hat and rabbit down.

The rabbit gazes wistfully at the lettuced rope.

>inflate ballon with helium
You can't see any such thing.

>inflate balloon with helium
You grab a balloon and blow it up with the helium. What sculpture do you wanna make?

1) Dog
2) Basket
3) Perfect circle
4) Celebrated American poet Robert Frost

>3
[Perfect circle]

(As you work on this, the circle sculpture you already have mysteriously springs a leak and forces you to toss it away...)

You quickly bend the balloon into a perfectly circular shape.

Ring
You're in the heart of the Big Top, surrounded by a probably-adoring audience. The circus is in full swing right now. If you headed out right now you'd be in the gangways between the seats, but it's showtime now - you aren't leaving this ring until this show ends, one way or another.

Adagio is tied up in the Diabolical Contraption, being lowered into the water.

You can also see a black top hat (in which is a rabbit) here.

>put hat in circle
(first taking the black top hat)
That can't contain things.

The rabbit gazes wistfully at the lettuced rope.

The water's starting to claim Adagio. The audience is getting worried. "Help her, clown!" shouts one. Their seatmate turns to them and explains in great detail about escapology and how the idea is that the escapologist traditionally unties themselves.

>attach hat to circle
You would achieve nothing by this.

>x circle
A helium balloon which has been bent and knotted freehand (with great effort, thanks to the extreme thickness of the rubber) into a perfect circle, about a foot-and-a-bit across. This might be your greatest talent, but you almost never get to show it off. Kids don't want perfect geometry, they want balloon dogs. Which is fine! You love making dogs too. But still.

>x hat
A smooth black hat. Occasionally, it twitches.

In the black top hat is a rabbit.

The rabbit pokes her head out of the hat briefly, just to check that the lettuced rope is still there.

Oh, she doesn't look happy up there. The water line is coming up to her shoulders. She's squirming, but the volunteers did a tragically good job of tying her up.

>x basket
A helium balloon which has been knotted and woven to make a little basket about the size of a human head. Useful for storing juggling balls and other props. Heck, this balloon rubber is so thick you could probably keep chainsaws in here. The basket is pumped full of enough helium that it'll float away as soon as you let go.

>put hat in basket
The hat fits just about perfectly!

It's getting dangerous for Adagio. Her face only just peeks above the water line. "Oh geez," she says. If you have anything you can do, you need to do it now!

>drop basket
You let go of the basket. It floats up, wobbling a little, drifting past the ropes and pulleys...

Like water from a flower, the rabbit shoots out of the hat, straight at the lettuce-coated rope. It latches onto the rope with its teeth and spins around and around like a pair of pants from a washing line in a windy day, somehow chewing frantically at the same time. You'd swear you can hear a buzzsaw sound.

The rope snaps and Adagio plummets into the water, catching and holding the rabbit aloft as she goes. The crowd erupts in rapturous applause! It's not the neatest escape, maybe, but they seem impressed, and Adagio managed to avoid drowning. You have foiled the Phantom!


Please press SPACE to continue.

Back in her camper, Adagio's found a chunk of carrot from somewhere. Beaming, she presents it to the rabbit, who performs her very own magic trick and disappears it. "And thanks to you too, Lola," she says. "With tricks like that, you'd make a great magician if you wanted. That should stymie our Phantom for a while."

She straightens up, putting the hat-and-rabbit back on, and catches your expectant look. "Oh... sorry, Lola. That was my last carrot treat. I'll buy you a whole one next time I'm shopping."

Adagio's Camper
Adagio keeps her camper van neat as a pin - it's almost like she doesn't live here. The inside is lined with shelves of reference books on magic and academic things she's into. She's also converted the, you know, the bit that hangs over the driver's cab where you keep your children? She's converted that into a hutch. You can go south to head outside.

Adagio lounges here, idly shuffling a deck of cards.

You can also see a hutch (empty) here.

>score
There is no score in this story.

>l
Adagio's Camper
Adagio keeps her camper van neat as a pin - it's almost like she doesn't live here. The inside is lined with shelves of reference books on magic and academic things she's into. She's also converted the, you know, the bit that hangs over the driver's cab where you keep your children? She's converted that into a hutch. You can go south to head outside.

Adagio lounges here, idly shuffling a deck of cards.

You can also see a hutch (empty) here.

>s

Staff Area, by Adagio and Lawn
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field is directly behind the Top, although you can use one of the tent's fire exits to head inside to the west. Adagio's camper is parked to the north, and Lawn's caravan is to the east.

There's more of the staff area to the south, as well as to the southwest if you take a shortcut underneath the tent ropes.

The goose. It's still here.

>e

Lawn's Caravan
Lawn's caravan smells surprisingly good, given that he shares it with a goose. The bed has been ripped out and replaced with a paddling pool. Not for the first time, you wonder if it's actually the goose's caravan and Lawn sleeps on the roof or something. The exit is west.

Ken Lawn, the carnival's resident Animal Tamer, is brooding here.

>w

Staff Area, by Adagio and Lawn
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field is directly behind the Top, although you can use one of the tent's fire exits to head inside to the west. Adagio's camper is parked to the north, and Lawn's caravan is to the east.

There's more of the staff area to the south, as well as to the southwest if you take a shortcut underneath the tent ropes.

The goose. It's still here.

>w

Seats
You're always amazed at how huge the Big Top is. It must have been how the ancient Romans felt in the Coliseum, probably. Tiers of seats surround a central ring here, which is really just a big patch of empty ground if you're being cynical, but what was the Coliseum if not a load of seats around an empty patch of ground, huh?

Right now you're in the gangways between the empty seats and the ring. You can head into the central ring, south to a backstage area out of sight of the seats, or west to the entrance tent. You can also take a shortcut through a flap to the east into the staff area, or north into the carnival.

>i
You are juggling:
  a circle sculpture
  a burger
    a patty
  a dog sculpture
  a Robert Frost sculpture
  a helium canister
  a French horn
  some bendy balloons
  a stack of pies
  a red nose (being worn)

>w

Entrance Tent
This smaller tent acts as the main entrance to the Big Top to the east. The carnival is outside to the west.

There's also a food stand here, selling cheap burgers.

>
I beg your pardon?

>l
Entrance Tent
This smaller tent acts as the main entrance to the Big Top to the east. The carnival is outside to the west.

There's also a food stand here, selling cheap burgers.

>w

Carnival, by the Entrance
You're right outside the entrance to the Big Top, in the carnival. There's a balloon stand here, but it's not getting much traction, probably because none of the balloons float. You can enter the Big Top by heading east.

There's more carnival to the south and north (and the northeast, if you take a shortcut through the tent ropes).

The stall is being run by some local hired help, who's preoccupied with manually blowing up more balloons.

Jenny ties up an inflated balloon and immediately starts blowing up another without any pause for breath.

>w
There's no exit that way.

>s

Carnival, under the Big Wheel
You're mingling with the crowd in the carnival. Here, you're at the foot of the Big Wheel, which looms over everything. Shame it's not working today. The lever that operates it is here if you want to try spinning it yourself.

The rest of the carnival is to the north. If you need a break, you can duck through the trailers to your east to get to the private staff area and the caravans.

Oh, look at that. A stepladder must've got caught up while someone was trying to fix the controls. It's dangling from the Big Wheel's Cab 14.

>get ladder
The stepladder is caught up in Cab 14, high above the ground. You'll need to bring it down to Earth first.

>u
There's no exit that way.

A young couple pass by, their hands clasped together.

>l
Carnival, under the Big Wheel
You're mingling with the crowd in the carnival. Here, you're at the foot of the Big Wheel, which looms over everything. Shame it's not working today. The lever that operates it is here if you want to try spinning it yourself.

The rest of the carnival is to the north. If you need a break, you can duck through the trailers to your east to get to the private staff area and the caravans.

Oh, look at that. A stepladder must've got caught up while someone was trying to fix the controls. It's dangling from the Big Wheel's Cab 14.

>e
You head east a little and wiggle through a wall of trailers to get back to the staff area.

Staff Area, by the boss's camper
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field has direct access to the Big Top's backstage area through the flap to the north. The Ringmaster has parked his camper as close as he can get to it - it's just to the south.

There's more of the staff area to the east, as well as to the northeast if you take a shortcut underneath the tent ropes. You can see the Big Wheel to the west over the various trailers which you can cut through.

>w
You squeeze between a couple of trailers and come out in the carnival.

Carnival, under the Big Wheel
You're mingling with the crowd in the carnival. Here, you're at the foot of the Big Wheel, which looms over everything. Shame it's not working today. The lever that operates it is here if you want to try spinning it yourself.

The rest of the carnival is to the north. If you need a break, you can duck through the trailers to your east to get to the private staff area and the caravans.

Oh, look at that. A stepladder must've got caught up while someone was trying to fix the controls. It's dangling from the Big Wheel's Cab 14.

An elderly couple pass by, their hands clasped together.

>pull lever
The Big Wheel ticks backwards seven full cabs before stopping, despite your best efforts. Now only Cab 15 is reachable.

>g
The Big Wheel judders six cabs backwards - and then one more for good measure. Now only Cab 8 is reachable.

>g
The Big Wheel ticks backwards seven full cabs before stopping, despite your best efforts. Now only Cab 1 is reachable.

A little child weaves through your legs and melts into the crowd.

>g
The Big Wheel judders six cabs backwards - and then one more for good measure. Now only Cab 15 is reachable.

You see two dads making phonecalls while some children loiter nearby.

>g
The Big Wheel ticks backwards seven full cabs before stopping, despite your best efforts. Now only Cab 8 is reachable.

>g
The Big Wheel judders six cabs backwards - and then one more for good measure. Now only Cab 1 is reachable. This ladder is beginning to annoy you.

>g
The Big Wheel ticks backwards seven full cabs before stopping, despite your best efforts. Now only Cab 15 is reachable.

>g
The Big Wheel judders six cabs backwards - and then one more for good measure. Now only Cab 8 is reachable.

>g
The Big Wheel ticks backwards seven full cabs before stopping, despite your best efforts. Now only Cab 1 is reachable.

>l
Carnival, under the Big Wheel
You're mingling with the crowd in the carnival. Here, you're at the foot of the Big Wheel, which looms over everything. Shame it's not working today. The lever that operates it is here if you want to try spinning it yourself.

The rest of the carnival is to the north. If you need a break, you can duck through the trailers to your east to get to the private staff area and the caravans.

Oh, look at that. A stepladder must've got caught up while someone was trying to fix the controls. It's dangling from the Big Wheel's Cab 14.

Some children scream somewhere nearby. (Good screams! The kind kids do when they just wanna be loud.)

>x lever
This lever rotates the Big Wheel. Push it to turn the Wheel forwards, from Cab 1 to Cab 2 to Cab 3 and so on. Pull it to spin the other way, from Cab 2 to Cab 1 to Cab 21 to Cab 20 and so on. It's supposed to go one cab at a time, but the lever has been sticking recently. Now when you push it it goes three cabs forwards, and when you pull it it goes seven cabs back.

Some children scream somewhere nearby. (Good screams! The kind kids do when they just wanna be loud.)

>*oh god math!
I didn't understand that sentence.

>l
Carnival, under the Big Wheel
You're mingling with the crowd in the carnival. Here, you're at the foot of the Big Wheel, which looms over everything. Shame it's not working today. The lever that operates it is here if you want to try spinning it yourself.

The rest of the carnival is to the north. If you need a break, you can duck through the trailers to your east to get to the private staff area and the caravans.

Oh, look at that. A stepladder must've got caught up while someone was trying to fix the controls. It's dangling from the Big Wheel's Cab 14.

>pull lever
The Big Wheel judders six cabs backwards - and then one more for good measure. Now only Cab 15 is reachable.

You overhear one child tell another excitedly about the cool magic trick they saw with the floating bunny rabbit.

>g
The Big Wheel ticks backwards seven full cabs before stopping, despite your best efforts. Now only Cab 8 is reachable.

Some children scream somewhere nearby. (Good screams! The kind kids do when they just wanna be loud.)

>push lever
The Big Wheel ticks forward one cab, and then another two. Now only Cab 11 is reachable. This ladder is continuing to annoy you.

>g
The Big Wheel judders forward three cabs before you can stop it. Now only Cab 14 is reachable. The stepladder scrapes around the ground under the Wheel, now in easy reach.

>get ladder
You carefully unhook the stepladder from the bits and bobs of the cab. It's yours now!

A little girl weaves through your legs and melts into the crowd, chased by a parent.

>l
Carnival, under the Big Wheel
You're mingling with the crowd in the carnival. Here, you're at the foot of the Big Wheel, which looms over everything. Shame it's not working today. The lever that operates it is here if you want to try spinning it yourself.

The rest of the carnival is to the north. If you need a break, you can duck through the trailers to your east to get to the private staff area and the caravans.

>celebrate
I didn't understand that sentence.

>l
Carnival, under the Big Wheel
You're mingling with the crowd in the carnival. Here, you're at the foot of the Big Wheel, which looms over everything. Shame it's not working today. The lever that operates it is here if you want to try spinning it yourself.

The rest of the carnival is to the north. If you need a break, you can duck through the trailers to your east to get to the private staff area and the caravans.

You see two dads eating sandwiches while some children loiter nearby.

>i
You are juggling:
  a stepladder
  a circle sculpture
  a burger
    a patty
  a dog sculpture
  a Robert Frost sculpture
  a helium canister
  a French horn
  some bendy balloons
  a stack of pies
  a red nose (being worn)

>x ladder
Fairly short as stepladders go, but still plenty high enough for you. About six feet tall? Two in clown feet.

>l
Carnival, under the Big Wheel
You're mingling with the crowd in the carnival. Here, you're at the foot of the Big Wheel, which looms over everything. Shame it's not working today. The lever that operates it is here if you want to try spinning it yourself.

The rest of the carnival is to the north. If you need a break, you can duck through the trailers to your east to get to the private staff area and the caravans.

>n
Circus-goers have to duck and dodge the swinging ladder as you weave through the crowd.

Carnival, by the Entrance
You're right outside the entrance to the Big Top, in the carnival. There's a balloon stand here, but it's not getting much traction, probably because none of the balloons float. You can enter the Big Top by heading east.

There's more carnival to the south and north (and the northeast, if you take a shortcut through the tent ropes).

The stall is being run by some local hired help, who's preoccupied with manually blowing up more balloons.

Jenny ties up an inflated balloon and immediately starts blowing up another without any pause for breath.

>n
Circus-goers have to duck and dodge the swinging ladder as you weave through the crowd.

Carnival, outside Monster Manor
You're mingling with the crowd in the carnival. People turn to you expectantly as you wander about. You're right outside the carnival's signature ghost train ride, Monster Manor, situated to the north.

The rest of the carnival is to the south and the east.

The Monster Manor ride operator, an older surly-looking gentleman called Arthur, sits in front of a wall of rules.

You see some adults arguing over a schedule while some children play nearby.

>n
Arthur gives you a stern look and points at a rule behind him: "NO STEPLADDERS."

Arthur glares at the world at large.

>*WOW you anticipated that? Good job
I didn't understand that sentence.

>l
Carnival, outside Monster Manor
You're mingling with the crowd in the carnival. People turn to you expectantly as you wander about. You're right outside the carnival's signature ghost train ride, Monster Manor, situated to the north.

The rest of the carnival is to the south and the east.

The Monster Manor ride operator, an older surly-looking gentleman called Arthur, sits in front of a wall of rules.

>e
Circus-goers have to duck and dodge the swinging ladder as you weave through the crowd.

Carnival, by the Love Booth
You're in the main carnival area, north of the Big Top. People turn to you expectantly as you wander through the crowd. You can sneak into the Big Top through a fire exit flap to the south.

The rest of the carnival is to the west (and the southwest, if you take a shortcut through the tent ropes).

The love booth is here, adorned with its little sculpture of Cupid.

You can also see your clown car (empty) here.

>drop ladder
You open up the stepladder and place it on the ground.

>x car
(the clown car)
Your car, one cubic metre of pure horsepower. It's drivable, but the innards are stripped down to the bare essentials (the fewer seats there are, the more passengers you can fit in). There is a car horn, though.

>*ok, I did feel like I shoulda been able to at least try to climb the car and been given a better reason why I couldn't use it to reach the bow
You seem to want to talk to someone, but I can't see whom.

>
I beg your pardon?

>l
Carnival, by the Love Booth
You're in the main carnival area, north of the Big Top. People turn to you expectantly as you wander through the crowd. You can sneak into the Big Top through a fire exit flap to the south.

The rest of the carnival is to the west (and the southwest, if you take a shortcut through the tent ropes).

The love booth is here, adorned with its little sculpture of Cupid.

You can also see a stepladder and your clown car (empty) here.

You get nudged around a little in the press of people.

>drop ladder
The stepladder is already here.

A young couple pass by, sharing a quick kiss.

>climb it
You climb the wobbly stepladder and scramble for the relative stability of the top of the booth.

Carnival, by the Love Booth (on the love booth)
You're in the main carnival area, north of the Big Top. People turn to you expectantly as you wander through the crowd. You can sneak into the Big Top through a fire exit flap to the south.

The rest of the carnival is to the west (and the southwest, if you take a shortcut through the tent ropes).

You can see a stepladder and your clown car (empty) here.

The statue of Cupid is holding a bow and a bundle of arrows.

The booth wobbles a little as a passer-by bumps into it.

>get all
stepladder: Not possible. You just don't have the strength to lift the ladder from below while you're up here.
bow: You lift the bow out of Cupid's little hands. You grab his arrows while you're at it.

The booth wobbles a little as a passer-by bumps into it.

>l
Carnival, by the Love Booth (on the love booth)
You're in the main carnival area, north of the Big Top. People turn to you expectantly as you wander through the crowd. You can sneak into the Big Top through a fire exit flap to the south.

The rest of the carnival is to the west (and the southwest, if you take a shortcut through the tent ropes).

You can see a stepladder and your clown car (empty) here.

>wave
You wave.

Some children scream somewhere nearby. (Good screams! The kind kids do when they just wanna be loud.)

>honk
(the bendy balloons)
You achieve nothing by this.

You see a mum and dad making phonecalls while some children play nearby.

>honk nose
Honk!

The booth wobbles a little as a passer-by bumps into it.

>l
Carnival, by the Love Booth (on the love booth)
You're in the main carnival area, north of the Big Top. People turn to you expectantly as you wander through the crowd. You can sneak into the Big Top through a fire exit flap to the south.

The rest of the carnival is to the west (and the southwest, if you take a shortcut through the tent ropes).

You can see a stepladder and your clown car (empty) here.

A little girl flits past the booth and melts into the crowd, chased by a parent.

>d
You tentatively climb over the edge, hang off the booth by your fingertips, say your prayers, and drop the eight-inches-or-so to ground level. You survived!

Carnival, by the Love Booth
You're in the main carnival area, north of the Big Top. People turn to you expectantly as you wander through the crowd. You can sneak into the Big Top through a fire exit flap to the south.

The rest of the carnival is to the west (and the southwest, if you take a shortcut through the tent ropes).

The love booth is here, adorned with its little sculpture of Cupid.

You can also see a stepladder and your clown car (empty) here.

>l
Carnival, by the Love Booth
You're in the main carnival area, north of the Big Top. People turn to you expectantly as you wander through the crowd. You can sneak into the Big Top through a fire exit flap to the south.

The rest of the carnival is to the west (and the southwest, if you take a shortcut through the tent ropes).

The love booth is here, adorned with its little sculpture of Cupid.

You can also see a stepladder and your clown car (empty) here.

A girl weaves through your legs and melts into the crowd, chased by a parent.

>x bow
A little bow, and a bundle of arrows with sharp heart-shaped heads. How many arrows? Don't worry about it. Enough.

>x arrows
A little bow, and a bundle of arrows with sharp heart-shaped heads. How many arrows? Don't worry about it. Enough.

>shoot arrow at me
No no no! You're doing great! Keep going!

You see a mum and dad making phonecalls while some children loiter nearby.

>l
Carnival, by the Love Booth
You're in the main carnival area, north of the Big Top. People turn to you expectantly as you wander through the crowd. You can sneak into the Big Top through a fire exit flap to the south.

The rest of the carnival is to the west (and the southwest, if you take a shortcut through the tent ropes).

The love booth is here, adorned with its little sculpture of Cupid.

You can also see a stepladder and your clown car (empty) here.

You get nudged around a little in the press of people.

>i
You are juggling:
  a bow
  a circle sculpture
  a burger
    a patty
  a dog sculpture
  a Robert Frost sculpture
  a helium canister
  a French horn
  some bendy balloons
  a stack of pies
  a red nose (being worn)

>l
Carnival, by the Love Booth
You're in the main carnival area, north of the Big Top. People turn to you expectantly as you wander through the crowd. You can sneak into the Big Top through a fire exit flap to the south.

The rest of the carnival is to the west (and the southwest, if you take a shortcut through the tent ropes).

The love booth is here, adorned with its little sculpture of Cupid.

You can also see a stepladder and your clown car (empty) here.

>e
There's no exit that way.

>s

Seats
You're always amazed at how huge the Big Top is. It must have been how the ancient Romans felt in the Coliseum, probably. Tiers of seats surround a central ring here, which is really just a big patch of empty ground if you're being cynical, but what was the Coliseum if not a load of seats around an empty patch of ground, huh?

Right now you're in the gangways between the empty seats and the ring. You can head into the central ring, south to a backstage area out of sight of the seats, or west to the entrance tent. You can also take a shortcut through a flap to the east into the staff area, or north into the carnival.

>e

Staff Area, by Adagio and Lawn
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field is directly behind the Top, although you can use one of the tent's fire exits to head inside to the west. Adagio's camper is parked to the north, and Lawn's caravan is to the east.

There's more of the staff area to the south, as well as to the southwest if you take a shortcut underneath the tent ropes.

The goose. It's still here.

The goose nudges a little bit of dirt around with its beak.

>i
You are juggling:
  a bow
  a circle sculpture
  a burger
    a patty
  a dog sculpture
  a Robert Frost sculpture
  a helium canister
  a French horn
  some bendy balloons
  a stack of pies
  a red nose (being worn)

>blindfold
I didn't understand that sentence.

>honk horn
You achieve nothing by this.

>blow horn
You play your best rendition of Entrance of the Gladiators. Honk honk honk!

The goose spins around and collapses on its back with a sad trailing "hoooonk". A second later, it gets up again.

>put circle on hoose
You can't see any such thing.

>put circle on goose
You try very hard to dress up the goose in the circle like a necklace. The circle is too big for the goose's body, never minds its neck. The goose rebels and bites the circle, but the rubber is too tough to destroy. Nobody is happy with this.

The goose pecks at a likely-looking bit of grass.

>i
You are juggling:
  a bow
  a circle sculpture
  a burger
    a patty
  a dog sculpture
  a Robert Frost sculpture
  a helium canister
  a French horn
  some bendy balloons
  a stack of pies
  a red nose (being worn)

>put dog on goose
Better not. It'd be like playing Buckaroo if the mule could bite you.

The goose waddles around a little.

>put frost on goose
Better not. It'd be like playing Buckaroo if the mule could bite you.

>l
Staff Area, by Adagio and Lawn
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field is directly behind the Top, although you can use one of the tent's fire exits to head inside to the west. Adagio's camper is parked to the north, and Lawn's caravan is to the east.

There's more of the staff area to the south, as well as to the southwest if you take a shortcut underneath the tent ropes.

The goose. It's still here.

>e

Lawn's Caravan
Lawn's caravan smells surprisingly good, given that he shares it with a goose. The bed has been ripped out and replaced with a paddling pool. Not for the first time, you wonder if it's actually the goose's caravan and Lawn sleeps on the roof or something. The exit is west.

Ken Lawn, the carnival's resident Animal Tamer, is brooding here.

>talk to lawn
"Oh. Hello, clown," says Lawn.

1) "Can I tag along and see you perform your show? Maybe I can help."
2) "Could you remind me what the Phantom was doing to ruin your show?"
3) "Why can't you take the goose's blindfold off during the show?"
4) "If the problem is that the goose can't see your gestures, can you train it to respond to words instead?"
5) "Show me the gestures you're using to get the goose to do tricks! Please."
6) "See you around, Ken!"

>4
["If the problem is that the goose can't see your gestures, can you train it to respond to words instead?"]

"It's not how I work, Lola. I've been doing this for years. I know what works for me." Lawn rubs his chin. "Funny you should suggest it. Some of the youngbloods in the Goose-taming community have been propounding the phenomenological approach to the profession." He catches your eye. "That is, they use noises instead of gestures. Sounds, not words. They claim it's instinctive to Geese to respond in certain ways. But... no, it's not me. It might take me an age to find the right sounds, and this Phantom business will be over by the time we relearn the tricks." He sighs. "One way or another."

1) "Can I tag along and see you perform your show? Maybe I can help."
2) "Could you remind me what the Phantom was doing to ruin your show?"
3) "Why can't you take the goose's blindfold off during the show?"
4) "If the problem is that the goose can't see your gestures, can you train it to respond to words instead?"
5) "Show me the gestures you're using to get the goose to do tricks! Please."
6) "See you around, Ken!"

>1
["Can I tag along and see you perform your show? Maybe I can help."]

"Well, I suppose you may, if you think you can make a difference," muses Lawn. "If the show goes poorly again, perhaps you can keep the audience entertained with your antics and capers."



Please press SPACE to continue.

Just before the show starts, you hear a groan from Lawn, and hurry over to him. Someone has managed to blindfold the goose??? Lawn tries to untie the blindfold, but while he's being battered by wings, something moves in the corner of your eye. You look up just in time to see...

It's the Phantom! They disappear through the backstage exit. You want to give chase, but it's too late now, it's showtime. The audience is waiting. The morose Lawn enters the cage with the blindfolded goose, the cage is locked, Freda and the others haul the cage out into the ring, and then it's just you, Lawn, the goose, and the audience.


Ring
You're in the heart of the Big Top, surrounded by a probably-adoring audience. The circus is in full swing right now. If you headed out right now you'd be in the gangways between the seats, but it's showtime now - you aren't leaving this ring until this show ends, one way or another.

A huge cage has been set up within the Ring. You're outside it, and inside are Lawn and the goose.

"Alright, settle down, settle down!" It looks like Lawn is going to press ahead with the show as he usually performs it. "You kids better listen up! This is important! My name is Mister Lawn, and this is my incredible storytelling goose! Settle down! We're going to tell you a story with a moral. It's called The Goose Who Ran Into Traffic And Got Hit By A Car.

"'Once upon a time, there was a goose. A goose who crossed the road by charging into traffic... like so!'" Lawn raises both hands to his chest, like he's beckoning. The goose sits still.

>honk
(the bendy balloons)
You achieve nothing by this.

The goose shakes its head, but doesn't manage to dislodge the little blindfold.

>honk nose
Honk!

"HOOONK!" The aggrieved goose flies at the wall of the cage and beats its wings against the bars.

The audience politely applauds. Lawn gives you an impressed nod.

"Yes, she always loved to run into traffic," Lawn continues. "And we would all admonish her! We would all say 'Goose, you must wait for the traffic to stop before you cross the road, or you will get hit!'

"But the goose would always say... 'Who, me?'" At this, Lawn spreads his arms out wait, and looks at the goose hopefully. The goose just stands there.

>*typo, spreads his arms out wait?
You seem to want to talk to someone, but I can't see whom.

>*oh ok, the puzzle is I have to find different horn things to make the goose do different things
You seem to want to talk to someone, but I can't see whom.

>honk horn
You achieve nothing by this.

>play horn
You play your best rendition of Entrance of the Gladiators. Honk honk honk!

The goose spins around and collapses on its back with a sad trailing "hoooonk". A second later, it gets up again.
"No, no, no!" complains Lawn. "The goose didn't do that!"

Lawn clears his throat. "Yes, she would spread her wings like this!" He spreads his arms again, to no extra effect.

>i
You are juggling:
  a bow
  a circle sculpture
  a burger
    a patty
  a dog sculpture
  a Robert Frost sculpture
  a helium canister
  a French horn
  some bendy balloons
  a stack of pies
  a red nose (being worn)

>play bow
You can't play the bow. You don't know any songs for it.

>shoot arrow at goose
The cage isn't open.

"Mister Lawn, I think your goose is sick," shouts an audience member.

"Hey, kid! Settle down!" shouts Lawn back. But the rest of the audience is looking uncomfortable too. If Lawn (or, let's face it, more likely you) can't find a way to make the blindfolded goose respond soon, the performance might have to be cancelled.

>inhale helium
I didn't understand that sentence.

>inhale me with helium
I didn't understand that sentence.

>pop balloon
I didn't understand that sentence.

>break dog
(with a custard pie)
You splatter a pie over the dog sculpture. Messy!

>honk nose
Honk!

"HOOONK!" The aggrieved goose flies at the wall of the cage and beats its wings against the bars.
"No, no, no!" complains Lawn. "The goose didn't do that!"

The goose shakes its head, but doesn't manage to dislodge the little blindfold.

>l
Ring
You're in the heart of the Big Top, surrounded by a probably-adoring audience. The circus is in full swing right now. If you headed out right now you'd be in the gangways between the seats, but it's showtime now - you aren't leaving this ring until this show ends, one way or another.

A huge cage has been set up within the Ring. You're outside it, and inside are Lawn and the goose.

"She would SPREAD! Her WINGS!" Lawn spreads his arms again and again desperately like he's doing exercises. The audience looks like they're about to riot.

The goose tries to peck at the floor, but there's no grass to be found.

>talk to lawn
"What? What do you want?"

1) "What do all your hand gestures mean?"
2) "This isn't going well. Do you want to end the performance?"
3) "Nothing. Let's keep going."

>1
["What do all your hand gestures mean?"]

"It's very simple! This" - Lawn raises his hands to his chest - "means I want the goose to fly forward, up to the bars. This" - he raises his hands skywards - "means the goose needs to fly up! This" - Lawn throws his arms wide - "is supposed to make the goose spread his wings out. And this" - Lawn points down at the floor - "means 'play dead'! I don't have time to explain all of this to you! Ask me after the show, if we live that long!"

1) "What do all your hand gestures mean?"
2) "This isn't going well. Do you want to end the performance?"
3) "Nothing. Let's keep going."

>3
["Nothing. Let's keep going."]

Ring
You're in the heart of the Big Top, surrounded by a probably-adoring audience. The circus is in full swing right now. If you headed out right now you'd be in the gangways between the seats, but it's showtime now - you aren't leaving this ring until this show ends, one way or another.

A huge cage has been set up within the Ring. You're outside it, and inside are Lawn and the goose.

>i
You are juggling:
  a bow
  a circle sculpture
  a burger
    a patty
  a dog sculpture
  a Robert Frost sculpture
  a helium canister
  a French horn
  some bendy balloons
  a stack of pies
  a red nose (being worn)

You're out of time! And the audience is out of patience. They start booing and yelling and throwing things at you and at Lawn through the bars.

"Ow! Quit it! Ow! I should have called this The Story Of The Ungrateful Audience Who Can't Even Wait Twenty Minutes For A Goose To Tell A Story! Ow! Stop it!"

You flee backstage. Lawn has to just huddle into a ball until you can round up everyone to move the cage back. The goose stands on Lawn's back and honks at the darkness.


Please press SPACE to continue.

After a lot of fuss, the goose is eventually freed from its blindfold. You both return to Lawn's caravan. He slams the door behind him.

"This is embarassing! I'm going to be the laughing stock of the Goose And Waterfowl Tamer's Association Christmas luncheon!" he roars. "Look, clown, I know you're doing your best, but... look, was the Goose reacting to you honking your nose there? Is there anything else you can honk? Don't answer that, I don't want jokes. Just find something else that honks."

Lawn's Caravan
Lawn's caravan smells surprisingly good, given that he shares it with a goose. The bed has been ripped out and replaced with a paddling pool. Not for the first time, you wonder if it's actually the goose's caravan and Lawn sleeps on the roof or something. The exit is west.

Ken Lawn, the carnival's resident Animal Tamer, is brooding here.

>*that's also more heavy hinting than I needed
I didn't understand that sentence.

>*but this is a really really good puzzle idea
I didn't understand that sentence.

>l
Lawn's Caravan
Lawn's caravan smells surprisingly good, given that he shares it with a goose. The bed has been ripped out and replaced with a paddling pool. Not for the first time, you wonder if it's actually the goose's caravan and Lawn sleeps on the roof or something. The exit is west.

Ken Lawn, the carnival's resident Animal Tamer, is brooding here.

>i
You are juggling:
  a bow
  a circle sculpture
  a burger
    a patty
  a dog sculpture
  a Robert Frost sculpture
  a helium canister
  a French horn
  some bendy balloons
  a stack of pies
  a red nose (being worn)

>honk bow
You achieve nothing by this.

>honk canister
You achieve nothing by this.

>honk frost
You achieve nothing by this.

>l
Lawn's Caravan
Lawn's caravan smells surprisingly good, given that he shares it with a goose. The bed has been ripped out and replaced with a paddling pool. Not for the first time, you wonder if it's actually the goose's caravan and Lawn sleeps on the roof or something. The exit is west.

Ken Lawn, the carnival's resident Animal Tamer, is brooding here.

>honk ken
Lawn might not like that.

>l
Lawn's Caravan
Lawn's caravan smells surprisingly good, given that he shares it with a goose. The bed has been ripped out and replaced with a paddling pool. Not for the first time, you wonder if it's actually the goose's caravan and Lawn sleeps on the roof or something. The exit is west.

Ken Lawn, the carnival's resident Animal Tamer, is brooding here.

>w

Staff Area, by Adagio and Lawn
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field is directly behind the Top, although you can use one of the tent's fire exits to head inside to the west. Adagio's camper is parked to the north, and Lawn's caravan is to the east.

There's more of the staff area to the south, as well as to the southwest if you take a shortcut underneath the tent ropes.

The goose. It's still here.

The goose pecks at a likely-looking bit of grass.

>honk goose
The goose might not like that.

>l
Staff Area, by Adagio and Lawn
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field is directly behind the Top, although you can use one of the tent's fire exits to head inside to the west. Adagio's camper is parked to the north, and Lawn's caravan is to the east.

There's more of the staff area to the south, as well as to the southwest if you take a shortcut underneath the tent ropes.

The goose. It's still here.

>w

Seats
You're always amazed at how huge the Big Top is. It must have been how the ancient Romans felt in the Coliseum, probably. Tiers of seats surround a central ring here, which is really just a big patch of empty ground if you're being cynical, but what was the Coliseum if not a load of seats around an empty patch of ground, huh?

Right now you're in the gangways between the empty seats and the ring. You can head into the central ring, south to a backstage area out of sight of the seats, or west to the entrance tent. You can also take a shortcut through a flap to the east into the staff area, or north into the carnival.

>n

Carnival, by the Love Booth
You're in the main carnival area, north of the Big Top. People turn to you expectantly as you wander through the crowd. You can sneak into the Big Top through a fire exit flap to the south.

The rest of the carnival is to the west (and the southwest, if you take a shortcut through the tent ropes).

The love booth is here, adorned with its little sculpture of Cupid.

You can also see a stepladder and your clown car (empty) here.

>x car
(the clown car)
Your car, one cubic metre of pure horsepower. It's drivable, but the innards are stripped down to the bare essentials (the fewer seats there are, the more passengers you can fit in). There is a car horn, though.

>honk
(the bendy balloons)
You achieve nothing by this.

>s

Seats
You're always amazed at how huge the Big Top is. It must have been how the ancient Romans felt in the Coliseum, probably. Tiers of seats surround a central ring here, which is really just a big patch of empty ground if you're being cynical, but what was the Coliseum if not a load of seats around an empty patch of ground, huh?

Right now you're in the gangways between the empty seats and the ring. You can head into the central ring, south to a backstage area out of sight of the seats, or west to the entrance tent. You can also take a shortcut through a flap to the east into the staff area, or north into the carnival.

>e

Staff Area, by Adagio and Lawn
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field is directly behind the Top, although you can use one of the tent's fire exits to head inside to the west. Adagio's camper is parked to the north, and Lawn's caravan is to the east.

There's more of the staff area to the south, as well as to the southwest if you take a shortcut underneath the tent ropes.

The goose. It's still here.

>honk horn
You achieve nothing by this.

>honk car horn
You can't see any such thing.

>x car horn
You can't see any such thing.

>l
Staff Area, by Adagio and Lawn
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field is directly behind the Top, although you can use one of the tent's fire exits to head inside to the west. Adagio's camper is parked to the north, and Lawn's caravan is to the east.

There's more of the staff area to the south, as well as to the southwest if you take a shortcut underneath the tent ropes.

The goose. It's still here.

The goose stares at the sky wistfully.

>w

Seats
You're always amazed at how huge the Big Top is. It must have been how the ancient Romans felt in the Coliseum, probably. Tiers of seats surround a central ring here, which is really just a big patch of empty ground if you're being cynical, but what was the Coliseum if not a load of seats around an empty patch of ground, huh?

Right now you're in the gangways between the empty seats and the ring. You can head into the central ring, south to a backstage area out of sight of the seats, or west to the entrance tent. You can also take a shortcut through a flap to the east into the staff area, or north into the carnival.

>n

Carnival, by the Love Booth
You're in the main carnival area, north of the Big Top. People turn to you expectantly as you wander through the crowd. You can sneak into the Big Top through a fire exit flap to the south.

The rest of the carnival is to the west (and the southwest, if you take a shortcut through the tent ropes).

The love booth is here, adorned with its little sculpture of Cupid.

You can also see a stepladder and your clown car (empty) here.

>get in car
(the clown car)
You squeeze into your little car.

A little girl weaves through your legs and melts into the crowd.

>s

Seats (in the clown car)
You're always amazed at how huge the Big Top is. It must have been how the ancient Romans felt in the Coliseum, probably. Tiers of seats surround a central ring here, which is really just a big patch of empty ground if you're being cynical, but what was the Coliseum if not a load of seats around an empty patch of ground, huh?

Right now you're in the gangways between the empty seats and the ring. You can head into the central ring, south to a backstage area out of sight of the seats, or west to the entrance tent. You can also take a shortcut through a flap to the east into the staff area, or north into the carnival.

>e

Staff Area, by Adagio and Lawn (in the clown car)
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field is directly behind the Top, although you can use one of the tent's fire exits to head inside to the west. Adagio's camper is parked to the north, and Lawn's caravan is to the east.

There's more of the staff area to the south, as well as to the southwest if you take a shortcut underneath the tent ropes.

The goose. It's still here.

>honk horn
(the French horn)
You achieve nothing by this.

>honk car horn
Honk!

"Honk," the goose responds pleasantly. It stretches its wings out for a second.

The goose nudges a little bit of dirt around with its beak.

>l
Staff Area, by Adagio and Lawn (in the clown car)
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field is directly behind the Top, although you can use one of the tent's fire exits to head inside to the west. Adagio's camper is parked to the north, and Lawn's caravan is to the east.

There's more of the staff area to the south, as well as to the southwest if you take a shortcut underneath the tent ropes.

The goose. It's still here.

The goose nudges a little bit of dirt around with its beak.

>get car horn
You glued it to the car ages ago. Where the horn goes, the car goes too.

>i
You are juggling:
  a bow
  a circle sculpture
  a burger
    a patty
  a dog sculpture
  a Robert Frost sculpture
  a helium canister
  a French horn
  some bendy balloons
  a stack of pies
  a red nose (being worn)

>w

Seats (in the clown car)
You're always amazed at how huge the Big Top is. It must have been how the ancient Romans felt in the Coliseum, probably. Tiers of seats surround a central ring here, which is really just a big patch of empty ground if you're being cynical, but what was the Coliseum if not a load of seats around an empty patch of ground, huh?

Right now you're in the gangways between the empty seats and the ring. You can head into the central ring, south to a backstage area out of sight of the seats, or west to the entrance tent. You can also take a shortcut through a flap to the east into the staff area, or north into the carnival.

>s

Backstage (in the clown car)
This is a curtained-off area in the Big Top where the props are kept ready for each performer's routines, and where the performers can peek out at the crowd. You can step north through the curtains to enter the main area, or you can slip out the south exit to the staff area.

There's a huge cage in storage here, the cage in which Lawn and his goose perform their show.

Looming from the shadows is the Diabolical Contraption, the centrepiece of Adagio's escapology routine.

>x cage
During his Beast Show, Lawn locks himself and the goose in this immense cage. Each of the cage's four sides is a lattice of iron bars, criss-crossing vertically and horizontally, spaced about six inches apart. The top of the cage is covered by the same kind of lattice, preventing the goose from flying out to harass the audience (and preventing Lawn from climbing out to argue with children in the audience).

>n

Seats (in the clown car)
You're always amazed at how huge the Big Top is. It must have been how the ancient Romans felt in the Coliseum, probably. Tiers of seats surround a central ring here, which is really just a big patch of empty ground if you're being cynical, but what was the Coliseum if not a load of seats around an empty patch of ground, huh?

Right now you're in the gangways between the empty seats and the ring. You can head into the central ring, south to a backstage area out of sight of the seats, or west to the entrance tent. You can also take a shortcut through a flap to the east into the staff area, or north into the carnival.

>out
You get out of the clown car.

Seats
You're always amazed at how huge the Big Top is. It must have been how the ancient Romans felt in the Coliseum, probably. Tiers of seats surround a central ring here, which is really just a big patch of empty ground if you're being cynical, but what was the Coliseum if not a load of seats around an empty patch of ground, huh?

Right now you're in the gangways between the empty seats and the ring. You can head into the central ring, south to a backstage area out of sight of the seats, or west to the entrance tent. You can also take a shortcut through a flap to the east into the staff area, or north into the carnival.

You can see your clown car (empty) here.

>s

Backstage
This is a curtained-off area in the Big Top where the props are kept ready for each performer's routines, and where the performers can peek out at the crowd. You can step north through the curtains to enter the main area, or you can slip out the south exit to the staff area.

There's a huge cage in storage here, the cage in which Lawn and his goose perform their show.

Looming from the shadows is the Diabolical Contraption, the centrepiece of Adagio's escapology routine.

>x cage
During his Beast Show, Lawn locks himself and the goose in this immense cage. Each of the cage's four sides is a lattice of iron bars, criss-crossing vertically and horizontally, spaced about six inches apart. The top of the cage is covered by the same kind of lattice, preventing the goose from flying out to harass the audience (and preventing Lawn from climbing out to argue with children in the audience).

>x lattice
You can't see any such thing.

>i
You are juggling:
  a bow
  a circle sculpture
  a burger
    a patty
  a dog sculpture
  a Robert Frost sculpture
  a helium canister
  a French horn
  some bendy balloons
  a stack of pies
  a red nose (being worn)

>*so i need something to make it fly up
I didn't understand that sentence.

>l
Backstage
This is a curtained-off area in the Big Top where the props are kept ready for each performer's routines, and where the performers can peek out at the crowd. You can step north through the curtains to enter the main area, or you can slip out the south exit to the staff area.

There's a huge cage in storage here, the cage in which Lawn and his goose perform their show.

Looming from the shadows is the Diabolical Contraption, the centrepiece of Adagio's escapology routine.

>put circle on cage
You can't reach the top of the cage from down here.

>climb cage
The horizontal bars of the cage are spaced just right for you to scramble up on top. Thankfully your big feet keep you stable up here and stop your legs falling between the bars.

Backstage (on the cage)
This is a curtained-off area in the Big Top where the props are kept ready for each performer's routines, and where the performers can peek out at the crowd. You can step north through the curtains to enter the main area, or you can slip out the south exit to the staff area.

Looming from the shadows is the Diabolical Contraption, the centrepiece of Adagio's escapology routine.

>drop circle
The circle sculpture falls between the bars and lands inside the cage.

>l
Backstage (on the cage)
This is a curtained-off area in the Big Top where the props are kept ready for each performer's routines, and where the performers can peek out at the crowd. You can step north through the curtains to enter the main area, or you can slip out the south exit to the staff area.

Looming from the shadows is the Diabolical Contraption, the centrepiece of Adagio's escapology routine.

In the cage you can see a circle sculpture.

>x dog
A helium balloon twisted to look like a dog with bulbous ears, four legs as fat as its body, and a little knotted balloon neck dangling off its snout. You knew a dog like this once.

>x circle
A helium balloon which has been bent and knotted freehand (with great effort, thanks to the extreme thickness of the rubber) into a perfect circle, about a foot-and-a-bit across. This might be your greatest talent, but you almost never get to show it off. Kids don't want perfect geometry, they want balloon dogs. Which is fine! You love making dogs too. But still.

>x frost
A helium balloon which has been twisted into a balloon portrait of the celebrated American poet Robert Frost. You're pretty sure it looks like him, anyway. Nobody else recognises him, but you're... you're pretty sure.

>drop frost
The Robert Frost sculpture falls between the bars and lands inside the cage.

>l
Backstage (on the cage)
This is a curtained-off area in the Big Top where the props are kept ready for each performer's routines, and where the performers can peek out at the crowd. You can step north through the curtains to enter the main area, or you can slip out the south exit to the staff area.

Looming from the shadows is the Diabolical Contraption, the centrepiece of Adagio's escapology routine.

In the cage you can see a Robert Frost sculpture and a circle sculpture.

>i
You are juggling:
  a bow
  a burger
    a patty
  a dog sculpture
  a helium canister
  a French horn
  some bendy balloons
  a stack of pies
  a red nose (being worn)

>drop bow
The bow falls between the bars and lands inside the cage.

>get bow
You scoop up the bow and arrows.

>l
Backstage (on the cage)
This is a curtained-off area in the Big Top where the props are kept ready for each performer's routines, and where the performers can peek out at the crowd. You can step north through the curtains to enter the main area, or you can slip out the south exit to the staff area.

Looming from the shadows is the Diabolical Contraption, the centrepiece of Adagio's escapology routine.

In the cage you can see a Robert Frost sculpture and a circle sculpture.

>d
(first getting off the cage's top)
You quickly clamber down the cage.

Backstage
This is a curtained-off area in the Big Top where the props are kept ready for each performer's routines, and where the performers can peek out at the crowd. You can step north through the curtains to enter the main area, or you can slip out the south exit to the staff area.

There's a huge cage in storage here, the cage in which Lawn and his goose perform their show.

Looming from the shadows is the Diabolical Contraption, the centrepiece of Adagio's escapology routine.

There's no exit that way.

>n

Seats
You're always amazed at how huge the Big Top is. It must have been how the ancient Romans felt in the Coliseum, probably. Tiers of seats surround a central ring here, which is really just a big patch of empty ground if you're being cynical, but what was the Coliseum if not a load of seats around an empty patch of ground, huh?

Right now you're in the gangways between the empty seats and the ring. You can head into the central ring, south to a backstage area out of sight of the seats, or west to the entrance tent. You can also take a shortcut through a flap to the east into the staff area, or north into the carnival.

You can see your clown car (empty) here.

>e

Staff Area, by Adagio and Lawn
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field is directly behind the Top, although you can use one of the tent's fire exits to head inside to the west. Adagio's camper is parked to the north, and Lawn's caravan is to the east.

There's more of the staff area to the south, as well as to the southwest if you take a shortcut underneath the tent ropes.

The goose. It's still here.

The goose nudges a little bit of dirt around with its beak.

>i
You are juggling:
  a bow
  a burger
    a patty
  a dog sculpture
  a helium canister
  a French horn
  some bendy balloons
  a stack of pies
  a red nose (being worn)

The goose pecks at a likely-looking bit of grass.

>shoot dog
(with the bow)
The arrow bounces harmlessly off the thick rubber of the dog sculpture.

>get arrow
You already have that.

>i
You are juggling:
  a bow
  a burger
    a patty
  a dog sculpture
  a helium canister
  a French horn
  some bendy balloons
  a stack of pies
  a red nose (being worn)

The goose stares at the sky wistfully.

>x bow
A little bow, and a bundle of arrows with sharp heart-shaped heads. How many arrows? Don't worry about it. Enough.

>x heads
You can't see any such thing.

>x arrow
A little bow, and a bundle of arrows with sharp heart-shaped heads. How many arrows? Don't worry about it. Enough.

The goose nudges a little bit of dirt around with its beak.

>shoot goose
(with the bow)
That wouldn't be funny at all.

>i
You are juggling:
  a bow
  a burger
    a patty
  a dog sculpture
  a helium canister
  a French horn
  some bendy balloons
  a stack of pies
  a red nose (being worn)

>shoot pie
(with the bow)
Thunk! An arrow judders in the stack of pies. You hope it finds true love. You pluck the arrow out again.

>l
Staff Area, by Adagio and Lawn
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field is directly behind the Top, although you can use one of the tent's fire exits to head inside to the west. Adagio's camper is parked to the north, and Lawn's caravan is to the east.

There's more of the staff area to the south, as well as to the southwest if you take a shortcut underneath the tent ropes.

The goose. It's still here.

>e

Lawn's Caravan
Lawn's caravan smells surprisingly good, given that he shares it with a goose. The bed has been ripped out and replaced with a paddling pool. Not for the first time, you wonder if it's actually the goose's caravan and Lawn sleeps on the roof or something. The exit is west.

Ken Lawn, the carnival's resident Animal Tamer, is brooding here.

>x pool
A little inflatable children's paddling pool, you know, the kind that lasts for one week in the summer before one of your brothers explodes it trying to do a triple somersault into it from the upstairs window. This pool is remarkably intact, and even more remarkably clean and empty. You think Lawn fills it every night and empties it in the morning.

>w

Staff Area, by Adagio and Lawn
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field is directly behind the Top, although you can use one of the tent's fire exits to head inside to the west. Adagio's camper is parked to the north, and Lawn's caravan is to the east.

There's more of the staff area to the south, as well as to the southwest if you take a shortcut underneath the tent ropes.

The goose. It's still here.

>s

Staff Area, by Freda and you
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field is right in the corner. You and Freda have tucked yourselves away here. Your own caravan is to the south; Freda's camper is east.

There's more of the staff area to the north and to the west.

>e

Freda's Camper
You spend more time here than in your own caravan. Freda fills the poky camper like how custard fills a pie dish, and most of the rest of the space is taken up by barbells, but that's fine by you, that just makes the place cosier. If you have to leave, the door out to the staff area is west.

The enchanting Freda is having a rest period here between shows.

>i
You are juggling:
  a bow
  a burger
    a patty
  a dog sculpture
  a helium canister
  a French horn
  some bendy balloons
  a stack of pies
  a red nose (being worn)

>l
Freda's Camper
You spend more time here than in your own caravan. Freda fills the poky camper like how custard fills a pie dish, and most of the rest of the space is taken up by barbells, but that's fine by you, that just makes the place cosier. If you have to leave, the door out to the staff area is west.

The charming Freda is having a rest period here between shows.

>x freda
Siegfrieda, the Strongest Woman Around - Freda to her friends. A kitten in a lion's body. She looks like she should be singing long and violent operas, or carrying fallen Viking warriors to Valhalla, but she couldn't be gentler. You adore her.

Freda smiles and waggles her eyebrows at you.

>talk to freda
"Hello, love!" Freda gives you a quick peck on the cheek.

1) "Let's put your show on and see if we can deal with the Phantom."
2) "Remind me what the Phantom was doing to mess with your Strength show?"
3) "What do you think I can do during the show?"
4) "Byeee! Love you!"

>3
["What do you think I can do during the show?"]

"You just have to be there, love. I keep telling you. It helps a lot.

"And... and maybe you'll see what the trick is. The Phantom can't be that heavy, right? You're smarter than me. You'll think of something." She strokes your cheek gently with her thumb. She's too hard on herself, but maybe she's missing something when she has to focus on her power-lifting. You'll be there.

1) "Let's put your show on and see if we can deal with the Phantom."
2) "Remind me what the Phantom was doing to mess with your Strength show?"
3) "What do you think I can do during the show?"
4) "Byeee! Love you!"

>1
["Let's put your show on and see if we can deal with the Phantom."]

"Yeah! Let's do it!"



Please press SPACE to continue.

Freda's powerlifting show has gone well so far. She's lifted all sorts of things. A barbell... then two barbells. She's lifted it all. The crowd is beside itself with glee.

All her shows end with her carrying around an audience volunteer like another barbell. It's not the most impressive thing she does, but it's just a bit of fun. She puts out the call for volunteers. Immediately, a figure charges down to the ring...

It's the Phantom! They stand in front of Freda and stare her down. You want to tell her it's okay, she can choose another volunteer. But you know she wouldn't listen. And there she goes, grabbing the Phantom, hoisting them up. Something is wrong. She's trembling, her knees are shaking. The Phantom looks very bulky and shapeless under that cloak they're holding closed, but can he really be that heavy? You need to help Freda, fast.


Ring
You're in the heart of the Big Top, surrounded by a probably-adoring audience. The circus is in full swing right now. If you headed out right now you'd be in the gangways between the seats, but it's showtime now - you aren't leaving this ring until this show ends, one way or another.

The Phantom is here, masked, impassive, and crushing Freda underneath!

The beautiful Freda is doing her best to keep the Phantom aloft.

>throw pie at phantom
It is a perfect throw. The pie arcs through the air and lands squarely in the Phantom's masked face. Custard, straight through the eyeholes.

Maybe instinctively, the Phantom raises their hands to clean the gunk out of their eyes. The cloak falls open, dangling under the Phantom, to the side of Freda. You can see bags of flour strapped to the inside of the cloak!

>get bags
They're a little too high to grab easily. Wanna try it anyway?
yes
With a running leap, you grab onto a bag of flour and hang off it, trying to rip it out of the cloak. This adds your weight to the Phantom's for a second.

That's all it takes. Freda gives way. Strongwoman and Phantom and clown all come crashing down in a puff of flour. The stunt has failed!


Please press SPACE to continue.

"Oh man, that was bad," moans Freda, nervously bending and unbending a barbell. It took a bit of cuddling but you've managed to calm her down enough to think straight, or at least as straight as either of you can. She twirls one of the ending weight plates like a fidget spinner. "Did you say they've got flour bags under that coat, love? What a cheat! It'd be easy to lift the Phantom without those!"

Freda's Camper
You spend more time here than in your own caravan. Freda fills the poky camper like how custard fills a pie dish, and most of the rest of the space is taken up by barbells, but that's fine by you, that just makes the place cosier. If you have to leave, the door out to the staff area is west.

The powerful Freda is having a rest period here between shows.

>talk to freda
"Hello, love!" Freda gives you a quick peck on the cheek.

1) "Let's put your show on and see if we can deal with the Phantom."
2) "Remind me what the Phantom was doing to mess with your Strength show?"
3) "What do you think I can do during the show?"
4) "Byeee! Love you!"

>1
["Let's put your show on and see if we can deal with the Phantom."]

"Yeah! Let's do it!"



Please press SPACE to continue.

Freda's powerlifting show has gone well so far. She's lifted all sorts of things. A barbell... then two barbells. She's lifted it all. The crowd is beside itself with glee.

All her shows end with her carrying around an audience volunteer like another barbell. It's not the most impressive thing she does, but it's just a bit of fun. She puts out the call for volunteers. Immediately, a figure charges down to the ring...

It's the Phantom! They stand in front of Freda and stare her down. Again, Freda scoops them up and holds them aloft; again, she starts trembling dangerously. Is the Phantom really that dense under that cloak? You need to help Freda, fast.


Ring
You're in the heart of the Big Top, surrounded by a probably-adoring audience. The circus is in full swing right now. If you headed out right now you'd be in the gangways between the seats, but it's showtime now - you aren't leaving this ring until this show ends, one way or another.

The Phantom is here, masked, impassive, and crushing Freda underneath!

The charming Freda is doing her best to keep the Phantom aloft.

The Phantom finishes cleaning their face, and hurriedly hoists their cloak back around them. The bags of flour disappear from your view.

>*is that a bug, why are they cleaning their face now
You seem to want to talk to someone, but I can't see whom.

>throw pie at phantom
It's not as beautiful a throw as the first time - it's a little leptosomic, not the perfect circular arc you got before - but the pie still finds its target. Again, the Phantom drops their cloak to clear their eyes; again, the cloak hangs open by Freda and reveals the bags of flour attached to the insides.

>shoot arrow at bags
An arrow sails into one of the bags with a resounding THUNK. Flour trickles out.

The Phantom seems to realise what you're trying to do. They start yanking their cloak up, but you just manage to get another arrow in before they finish. They poke themselves with an arrow nock when they wrap the cloak around themselves; they yank the arrow out, and you're glad they did, because that rips the bag more and the flour falls out faster.

And all the while, Freda's finding her footing. As more flour falls out, she manages to hoist the Phantom higher. They try to wiggle out of her grasp, but she's got them.

The audience erupts in rapturous applause. It is the best guy-lifting they've ever seen.


Please press SPACE to continue.

Right after the show, Freda carries you all the way back to her caravan in the biggest bear hug she's ever given you (weeks later you will learn that you've been walking around with a cracked rib). "Thank you thank you thank you thank you love you so much love you love you thank you thank you," she burbles, ragdolling you around. "You got them good! Sorry I let go of them when I put them down. They got away fast without all that flour weighing them down. But we'll get them again!"

She puts you down and beams at you. "Love you! Now go help the others!"

Freda's Camper
You spend more time here than in your own caravan. Freda fills the poky camper like how custard fills a pie dish, and most of the rest of the space is taken up by barbells, but that's fine by you, that just makes the place cosier. If you have to leave, the door out to the staff area is west.

The gorgeous Freda is having a rest period here between shows.

Freda idly plays a little drum solo on her tummy.

>l
Freda's Camper
You spend more time here than in your own caravan. Freda fills the poky camper like how custard fills a pie dish, and most of the rest of the space is taken up by barbells, but that's fine by you, that just makes the place cosier. If you have to leave, the door out to the staff area is west.

The beautiful Freda is having a rest period here between shows.

>w

Staff Area, by Freda and you
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field is right in the corner. You and Freda have tucked yourselves away here. Your own caravan is to the south; Freda's camper is east.

There's more of the staff area to the north and to the west.

>s

Your Caravan
It's not much, but it's yours. Really, it's just a place for sleeping (and you do most of that in Freda's caravan these days) and for keeping your props and medication. You can exit north to the staff area.

>n

Staff Area, by Freda and you
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field is right in the corner. You and Freda have tucked yourselves away here. Your own caravan is to the south; Freda's camper is east.

There's more of the staff area to the north and to the west.

>w

Staff Area, by the boss's camper
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field has direct access to the Big Top's backstage area through the flap to the north. The Ringmaster has parked his camper as close as he can get to it - it's just to the south.

There's more of the staff area to the east, as well as to the northeast if you take a shortcut underneath the tent ropes. You can see the Big Wheel to the west over the various trailers which you can cut through.

>w
You squeeze between a couple of trailers and come out in the carnival.

Carnival, under the Big Wheel
You're mingling with the crowd in the carnival. Here, you're at the foot of the Big Wheel, which looms over everything. Shame it's not working today. The lever that operates it is here if you want to try spinning it yourself.

The rest of the carnival is to the north. If you need a break, you can duck through the trailers to your east to get to the private staff area and the caravans.

>e
You head east a little and wiggle through a wall of trailers to get back to the staff area.

Staff Area, by the boss's camper
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field has direct access to the Big Top's backstage area through the flap to the north. The Ringmaster has parked his camper as close as he can get to it - it's just to the south.

There's more of the staff area to the east, as well as to the northeast if you take a shortcut underneath the tent ropes. You can see the Big Wheel to the west over the various trailers which you can cut through.

>s

Ringmaster's Camper
The Ringmaster's got one of those super-nice campers with the wood panelling and everything. Since he does most of the actual running of the place, the chairs are piled high with legal paperwork and accounts and bills and correspondence. You can clamber out north to the staff area.

Your boss the Ringmaster is pacing around nervously.

>talk to boss
"Hello. Is the, uh, uh, how's the ghost problem going?" the Ringmaster asks hopefully.

1) "Hey boss, what's this letter about the greenfield site?"
2) "I'll sort the Phantom out. You deal with the paperwork."

>1
["Hey boss, what's this letter about the greenfield site?"]

"The government is c-coming for my neck, Lola!" The boss waves a letter around frantically. "They want us to pay for an outdoor p-performance permit. A grand! We've never had to do that in this town before."

He digs through the pile and shows you more letters. "We got this debt collection letter b-before we even got the council's letter! And this letter about a fast food tax, and this letter about noise complaints, and THIS letter telling us to move the whole show into a community centre two miles away! How are we going to set up the tent inside a community centre??"

1) "Hey boss, what's this letter about the greenfield site?"
2) "I'll sort the Phantom out. You deal with the paperwork."

>2
["I'll sort the Phantom out. You deal with the paperwork."]

The Ringmaster forces a tired little smile. "Thank you, Lola."

Ringmaster's Camper
The Ringmaster's got one of those super-nice campers with the wood panelling and everything. Since he does most of the actual running of the place, the chairs are piled high with legal paperwork and accounts and bills and correspondence. You can clamber out north to the staff area.

Your boss the Ringmaster is pacing around nervously.

>i
You are juggling:
  a bow
  a burger
    a patty
  a dog sculpture
  a helium canister
  a French horn
  some bendy balloons
  a stack of pies
  a red nose (being worn)

>ask boss about horn
(the French horn)
"I'm, I'm afraid I wouldn't know about the French horn, Lola," the boss murmurs.

>hokn
I didn't understand that sentence.

>honk nose
Honk!

>throw pie at boss
Splat!

The Ringmaster instinctively wipes custard from his eyes with both hands. "Haha! You got me, Lola!"

>x patty
A grilled disc of meatlike substance.

>eat it
You eat the patty. It's... fine.

>i
You are juggling:
  a bow
  a burger bun (empty)
  a dog sculpture
  a helium canister
  a French horn
  some bendy balloons
  a stack of pies
  a red nose (being worn)

>eat bun
You eat the burger bun. It's... fine.

>n

Staff Area, by the boss's camper
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field has direct access to the Big Top's backstage area through the flap to the north. The Ringmaster has parked his camper as close as he can get to it - it's just to the south.

There's more of the staff area to the east, as well as to the northeast if you take a shortcut underneath the tent ropes. You can see the Big Wheel to the west over the various trailers which you can cut through.

>w
You squeeze between a couple of trailers and come out in the carnival.

Carnival, under the Big Wheel
You're mingling with the crowd in the carnival. Here, you're at the foot of the Big Wheel, which looms over everything. Shame it's not working today. The lever that operates it is here if you want to try spinning it yourself.

The rest of the carnival is to the north. If you need a break, you can duck through the trailers to your east to get to the private staff area and the caravans.

>s
There's no exit that way.

>w
There's no exit that way.

>l
Carnival, under the Big Wheel
You're mingling with the crowd in the carnival. Here, you're at the foot of the Big Wheel, which looms over everything. Shame it's not working today. The lever that operates it is here if you want to try spinning it yourself.

The rest of the carnival is to the north. If you need a break, you can duck through the trailers to your east to get to the private staff area and the caravans.

>n

Carnival, by the Entrance
You're right outside the entrance to the Big Top, in the carnival. There's a balloon stand here, but it's not getting much traction, probably because none of the balloons float. You can enter the Big Top by heading east.

There's more carnival to the south and north (and the northeast, if you take a shortcut through the tent ropes).

The stall is being run by some local hired help, who's preoccupied with manually blowing up more balloons.

You get nudged around a little in the press of people.

>w
There's no exit that way.

You get nudged around a little in the press of people.

>n

Carnival, outside Monster Manor
You're mingling with the crowd in the carnival. People turn to you expectantly as you wander about. You're right outside the carnival's signature ghost train ride, Monster Manor, situated to the north.

The rest of the carnival is to the south and the east.

The Monster Manor ride operator, an older surly-looking gentleman called Arthur, sits in front of a wall of rules.

>talk to arthur
Arthur gives you a stern look and points at a rule behind him: "NO DISTRACTING THE RIDE OPERATOR."

>e

Carnival, by the Love Booth
You're in the main carnival area, north of the Big Top. People turn to you expectantly as you wander through the crowd. You can sneak into the Big Top through a fire exit flap to the south.

The rest of the carnival is to the west (and the southwest, if you take a shortcut through the tent ropes).

The love booth is here, adorned with its little sculpture of Cupid.

You can also see a stepladder here.

You get nudged around a little in the press of people.

>n
There's no exit that way.

>e
There's no exit that way.

You get nudged around a little in the press of people.

>s

Seats
You're always amazed at how huge the Big Top is. It must have been how the ancient Romans felt in the Coliseum, probably. Tiers of seats surround a central ring here, which is really just a big patch of empty ground if you're being cynical, but what was the Coliseum if not a load of seats around an empty patch of ground, huh?

Right now you're in the gangways between the empty seats and the ring. You can head into the central ring, south to a backstage area out of sight of the seats, or west to the entrance tent. You can also take a shortcut through a flap to the east into the staff area, or north into the carnival.

You can see your clown car (empty) here.

>e

Staff Area, by Adagio and Lawn
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field is directly behind the Top, although you can use one of the tent's fire exits to head inside to the west. Adagio's camper is parked to the north, and Lawn's caravan is to the east.

There's more of the staff area to the south, as well as to the southwest if you take a shortcut underneath the tent ropes.

The goose. It's still here.

>i
You are juggling:
  a bow
  a dog sculpture
  a helium canister
  a French horn
  some bendy balloons
  a stack of pies
  a red nose (being worn)

>l
Staff Area, by Adagio and Lawn
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field is directly behind the Top, although you can use one of the tent's fire exits to head inside to the west. Adagio's camper is parked to the north, and Lawn's caravan is to the east.

There's more of the staff area to the south, as well as to the southwest if you take a shortcut underneath the tent ropes.

The goose. It's still here.

>e

Lawn's Caravan
Lawn's caravan smells surprisingly good, given that he shares it with a goose. The bed has been ripped out and replaced with a paddling pool. Not for the first time, you wonder if it's actually the goose's caravan and Lawn sleeps on the roof or something. The exit is west.

Ken Lawn, the carnival's resident Animal Tamer, is brooding here.

>talk to ken
"Oh. Hello, clown," says Lawn.

1) "Can I tag along and see you perform your show? Maybe I can help."
2) "Could you remind me what the Phantom was doing to ruin your show?"
3) "Why can't you take the goose's blindfold off during the show?"
4) "If the problem is that the goose can't see your gestures, can you train it to respond to words instead?"
5) "Show me the gestures you're using to get the goose to do tricks! Please."
6) "See you around, Ken!"

>1
["Can I tag along and see you perform your show? Maybe I can help."]

"Well, I suppose you may, if you think you can make a difference," muses Lawn. "If the show goes poorly again, perhaps you can keep the audience entertained with your antics and capers."



Please press SPACE to continue.

(Ahead of the show, Lawn checks that the cage is empty before it's moved out to the circus ring. He hauls your junk out of the cage onto the backstage floor, glaring at you.)

A few minutes later, you hear a groan from Lawn, and hurry over to him. Again, someone has managed to blindfold the goose! Lawn tries to untie the blindfold, but while he's being battered by wings, something moves in the corner of your eye. You look up just in time to see...

It's the Phantom! They disappear through the backstage exit. You want to give chase, but it's too late now, it's showtime. The audience is waiting. The morose Lawn enters the cage with the blindfolded goose, the cage is locked, Freda and the others haul the cage out into the ring, and then it's just you, Lawn, the goose, and the audience.


Ring
You're in the heart of the Big Top, surrounded by a probably-adoring audience. The circus is in full swing right now. If you headed out right now you'd be in the gangways between the seats, but it's showtime now - you aren't leaving this ring until this show ends, one way or another.

A huge cage has been set up within the Ring. You're outside it, and inside are Lawn and the goose.

"Alright, settle down, settle down!" It looks like Lawn is going to press ahead with the show as he usually performs it. "You kids better listen up! This is important! My name is Mister Lawn, and this is my incredible storytelling goose! Settle down! We're going to tell you a story with a moral. It's called The Goose Who Ran Into Traffic And Got Hit By A Car.

"'Once upon a time, there was a goose. A goose who crossed the road by charging into traffic... like so!'" Lawn raises both hands to his chest, like he's beckoning. The goose sits still.

>l
Ring
You're in the heart of the Big Top, surrounded by a probably-adoring audience. The circus is in full swing right now. If you headed out right now you'd be in the gangways between the seats, but it's showtime now - you aren't leaving this ring until this show ends, one way or another.

A huge cage has been set up within the Ring. You're outside it, and inside are Lawn and the goose.

>x cage
During his Beast Show, Lawn locks himself and the goose in this immense cage. Each of the cage's four sides is a lattice of iron bars, criss-crossing vertically and horizontally, spaced about six inches apart. The top of the cage is covered by the same kind of lattice, preventing the goose from flying out to harass the audience (and preventing Lawn from climbing out to argue with children in the audience).

In the cage are Lawn and a goose.

Lawn raises both hands to his chest again, more desperately this time. "Yes, she charged... into traffic!" Then again, and again.

>honk horn
(the French horn)
You achieve nothing by this.

>honk nose
Honk!

"HOOONK!" The aggrieved goose flies at the wall of the cage and beats its wings against the bars.

The audience politely applauds.

"Yes, she always loved to run into traffic," Lawn continues. "And we would all admonish her! We would all say 'Goose, you must wait for the traffic to stop before you cross the road, or you will get hit!'

"But the goose would always say... 'Who, me?'" At this, Lawn spreads his arms out wait, and looks at the goose hopefully. The goose just stands there.

The goose shakes its head, but doesn't manage to dislodge the little blindfold.

>i
You are juggling:
  a bow
  a dog sculpture
  a helium canister
  a French horn
  some bendy balloons
  a stack of pies
  a red nose (being worn)

>sing
You hum a little ditty.

The goose cocks its head at you attentively, but quickly loses interest.

Lawn clears his throat. "Yes, she would spread her wings like this!" He spreads his arms again, to no extra effect.

The goose shakes its head, but doesn't manage to dislodge the little blindfold.

>whistle
I didn't understand that sentence.

>talk to goose
The goose is unresponsive.

>bark
I didn't understand that sentence.

>l
Ring
You're in the heart of the Big Top, surrounded by a probably-adoring audience. The circus is in full swing right now. If you headed out right now you'd be in the gangways between the seats, but it's showtime now - you aren't leaving this ring until this show ends, one way or another.

A huge cage has been set up within the Ring. You're outside it, and inside are Lawn and the goose.

>talk to lawn
"What? What do you want?"

1) "What do all your hand gestures mean?"
2) "This isn't going well. Do you want to end the performance?"
3) "Nothing. Let's keep going."

>2
["This isn't going well. Do you want to end the performance?"]

"I thought you'd never ask." Lawn raises his voice at the audience. "Alright, show's over folks! That was the tale of The Goose Who Sat There And Didn't Do Anything! That was fully the story I intended to tell! Settle down! Quit throwing things! Go back to your places of residence!"



Please press SPACE to continue.

After a lot of fuss, the goose is eventually freed from its blindfold again. You both return to Lawn's caravan. He slams the door behind him.

"This is embarassing! I can't keep being humiliated like this!" he roars. "Look, clown, I know you're doing your best, but... look, was the Goose reacting to you honking your nose there? Is there anything else you can honk? Don't answer that, I don't want jokes. Just find something else that honks."

Lawn's Caravan
Lawn's caravan smells surprisingly good, given that he shares it with a goose. The bed has been ripped out and replaced with a paddling pool. Not for the first time, you wonder if it's actually the goose's caravan and Lawn sleeps on the roof or something. The exit is west.

Ken Lawn, the carnival's resident Animal Tamer, is brooding here.

>l
Lawn's Caravan
Lawn's caravan smells surprisingly good, given that he shares it with a goose. The bed has been ripped out and replaced with a paddling pool. Not for the first time, you wonder if it's actually the goose's caravan and Lawn sleeps on the roof or something. The exit is west.

Ken Lawn, the carnival's resident Animal Tamer, is brooding here.

>w

Staff Area, by Adagio and Lawn
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field is directly behind the Top, although you can use one of the tent's fire exits to head inside to the west. Adagio's camper is parked to the north, and Lawn's caravan is to the east.

There's more of the staff area to the south, as well as to the southwest if you take a shortcut underneath the tent ropes.

The goose. It's still here.

>w

Seats
You're always amazed at how huge the Big Top is. It must have been how the ancient Romans felt in the Coliseum, probably. Tiers of seats surround a central ring here, which is really just a big patch of empty ground if you're being cynical, but what was the Coliseum if not a load of seats around an empty patch of ground, huh?

Right now you're in the gangways between the empty seats and the ring. You can head into the central ring, south to a backstage area out of sight of the seats, or west to the entrance tent. You can also take a shortcut through a flap to the east into the staff area, or north into the carnival.

You can see your clown car (empty) here.

>get in car
(the clown car)
You squeeze into your little car.

>in

Ring (in the clown car)
You're in the heart of the Big Top, surrounded by empty seats. It's awfully quiet when it isn't showtime. If you don't wanna stay, you can head out into the gangways between the seats and the ring.

>out
You get out of the clown car.

Note: if you were actually trying to leave the ring while still driving the car, try entering the car and specifying "exit ring" instead.

Ring
You're in the heart of the Big Top, surrounded by empty seats. It's awfully quiet when it isn't showtime. If you don't wanna stay, you can head out into the gangways between the seats and the ring.

You can see your clown car (empty) here.

>l
Ring
You're in the heart of the Big Top, surrounded by empty seats. It's awfully quiet when it isn't showtime. If you don't wanna stay, you can head out into the gangways between the seats and the ring.

You can see your clown car (empty) here.

>w

Seats
You're always amazed at how huge the Big Top is. It must have been how the ancient Romans felt in the Coliseum, probably. Tiers of seats surround a central ring here, which is really just a big patch of empty ground if you're being cynical, but what was the Coliseum if not a load of seats around an empty patch of ground, huh?

Right now you're in the gangways between the empty seats and the ring. You can head into the central ring, south to a backstage area out of sight of the seats, or west to the entrance tent. You can also take a shortcut through a flap to the east into the staff area, or north into the carnival.

>x seats
Rows of tiered seats, like you'd get in a lecture theatre in a college.

>search seats
There is nothing on the circus seats.

>l
Seats
You're always amazed at how huge the Big Top is. It must have been how the ancient Romans felt in the Coliseum, probably. Tiers of seats surround a central ring here, which is really just a big patch of empty ground if you're being cynical, but what was the Coliseum if not a load of seats around an empty patch of ground, huh?

Right now you're in the gangways between the empty seats and the ring. You can head into the central ring, south to a backstage area out of sight of the seats, or west to the entrance tent. You can also take a shortcut through a flap to the east into the staff area, or north into the carnival.

>w

Entrance Tent
This smaller tent acts as the main entrance to the Big Top to the east. The carnival is outside to the west.

There's also a food stand here, selling cheap burgers.

>buy burger
Nothing is on sale.

>get burger
You grab a burger from the stand.

>*wait buy burger should work here
I didn't understand that sentence.

>l
Entrance Tent
This smaller tent acts as the main entrance to the Big Top to the east. The carnival is outside to the west.

There's also a food stand here, selling cheap burgers.

>talk to stand
The food stand snubs you.

>l
Entrance Tent
This smaller tent acts as the main entrance to the Big Top to the east. The carnival is outside to the west.

There's also a food stand here, selling cheap burgers.

>talk to me
DEBUGDEBUGDEBUG This is a placeholder conversation for testing and debugging.

1) Option 1.
2) Option 2.
3) Exit.

>1
[Option 1.]

This is option 1 for the placeholder conversation.

DEBUGDEBUGDEBUG This is a placeholder conversation for testing and debugging.

1) Option 1.
2) Option 2.
3) Exit.

>2
[Option 2.]

This is option 2 for the placeholder conversation.

DEBUGDEBUGDEBUG This is a placeholder conversation for testing and debugging.

1) Option 1.
2) Option 2.
3) Exit.

>3
[Exit.]

This ends the placeholder conversation.

Entrance Tent
This smaller tent acts as the main entrance to the Big Top to the east. The carnival is outside to the west.

There's also a food stand here, selling cheap burgers.

>*ooh talk to me gets a debug msg
I didn't understand that sentence.

>l
Entrance Tent
This smaller tent acts as the main entrance to the Big Top to the east. The carnival is outside to the west.

There's also a food stand here, selling cheap burgers.

>e

Seats
You're always amazed at how huge the Big Top is. It must have been how the ancient Romans felt in the Coliseum, probably. Tiers of seats surround a central ring here, which is really just a big patch of empty ground if you're being cynical, but what was the Coliseum if not a load of seats around an empty patch of ground, huh?

Right now you're in the gangways between the empty seats and the ring. You can head into the central ring, south to a backstage area out of sight of the seats, or west to the entrance tent. You can also take a shortcut through a flap to the east into the staff area, or north into the carnival.

>n

Carnival, by the Love Booth
You're in the main carnival area, north of the Big Top. People turn to you expectantly as you wander through the crowd. You can sneak into the Big Top through a fire exit flap to the south.

The rest of the carnival is to the west (and the southwest, if you take a shortcut through the tent ropes).

The love booth is here, adorned with its little sculpture of Cupid.

You can also see a stepladder here.

>get ladder
You close the stepladder and pick it up.

>e
Circus-goers have to duck and dodge the swinging ladder as you weave through the crowd.

There's no exit that way.

>s
Circus-goers have to duck and dodge the swinging ladder as you weave through the crowd.

Seats
You're always amazed at how huge the Big Top is. It must have been how the ancient Romans felt in the Coliseum, probably. Tiers of seats surround a central ring here, which is really just a big patch of empty ground if you're being cynical, but what was the Coliseum if not a load of seats around an empty patch of ground, huh?

Right now you're in the gangways between the empty seats and the ring. You can head into the central ring, south to a backstage area out of sight of the seats, or west to the entrance tent. You can also take a shortcut through a flap to the east into the staff area, or north into the carnival.

>e

Staff Area, by Adagio and Lawn
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field is directly behind the Top, although you can use one of the tent's fire exits to head inside to the west. Adagio's camper is parked to the north, and Lawn's caravan is to the east.

There's more of the staff area to the south, as well as to the southwest if you take a shortcut underneath the tent ropes.

The goose. It's still here.

>*ok i've solved everything now except i don't know how to get the goose to fly up yet
I didn't understand that sentence.

>l
Staff Area, by Adagio and Lawn
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field is directly behind the Top, although you can use one of the tent's fire exits to head inside to the west. Adagio's camper is parked to the north, and Lawn's caravan is to the east.

There's more of the staff area to the south, as well as to the southwest if you take a shortcut underneath the tent ropes.

The goose. It's still here.

The goose waddles around a little.

>i
You are juggling:
  a stepladder
  a burger
    a patty
    a romaine lettuce leaf
  a bow
  a dog sculpture
  a helium canister
  a French horn
  some bendy balloons
  a stack of pies
  a red nose (being worn)

>show leaf to goose
The goose is unresponsive.

>l
Staff Area, by Adagio and Lawn
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field is directly behind the Top, although you can use one of the tent's fire exits to head inside to the west. Adagio's camper is parked to the north, and Lawn's caravan is to the east.

There's more of the staff area to the south, as well as to the southwest if you take a shortcut underneath the tent ropes.

The goose. It's still here.

>x helium
A pressurised canister which can be used to inflate balloons with helium. The carnival isn't actually using this right now. Kids were letting too many balloons fly into the sky. The air traffic control authorities were starting to send you some nasty letters.

>inflate ballon
You can't see any such thing.

>inflate balloon
You grab a balloon and blow it up with the helium. What sculpture do you wanna make?

1) Dog
2) Basket
3) Perfect circle
4) Celebrated American poet Robert Frost

>3
[Perfect circle]

(Somewhere, a superfluous circle sculpture is blown by a gust of wind into the ether...)

You quickly bend the balloon into a perfectly circular shape.

Staff Area, by Adagio and Lawn
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field is directly behind the Top, although you can use one of the tent's fire exits to head inside to the west. Adagio's camper is parked to the north, and Lawn's caravan is to the east.

There's more of the staff area to the south, as well as to the southwest if you take a shortcut underneath the tent ropes.

The goose. It's still here.

>w

Seats
You're always amazed at how huge the Big Top is. It must have been how the ancient Romans felt in the Coliseum, probably. Tiers of seats surround a central ring here, which is really just a big patch of empty ground if you're being cynical, but what was the Coliseum if not a load of seats around an empty patch of ground, huh?

Right now you're in the gangways between the empty seats and the ring. You can head into the central ring, south to a backstage area out of sight of the seats, or west to the entrance tent. You can also take a shortcut through a flap to the east into the staff area, or north into the carnival.

>s

Backstage
This is a curtained-off area in the Big Top where the props are kept ready for each performer's routines, and where the performers can peek out at the crowd. You can step north through the curtains to enter the main area, or you can slip out the south exit to the staff area.

There's a huge cage in storage here, the cage in which Lawn and his goose perform their show.

Looming from the shadows is the Diabolical Contraption, the centrepiece of Adagio's escapology routine.

You can also see a Robert Frost sculpture here.

>get sculpture
(the Robert Frost sculpture)
Yoink!

>i
You are juggling:
  a Robert Frost sculpture
  a circle sculpture
  a stepladder
  a burger
    a patty
    a romaine lettuce leaf
  a bow
  a dog sculpture
  a helium canister
  a French horn
  some bendy balloons
  a stack of pies
  a red nose (being worn)

>get on cage
You can't get into the closed cage.

>climb cage
You're finding it very difficult to climb the cage while carrying the stepladder.

>drop ladder
You open up the stepladder and place it on the floor.

>climb ladder
You climb the ladder. It wobbles upsettingly, but from here you make a daring leap and scramble onto the top of the cage!

Backstage (on the cage)
This is a curtained-off area in the Big Top where the props are kept ready for each performer's routines, and where the performers can peek out at the crowd. You can step north through the curtains to enter the main area, or you can slip out the south exit to the staff area.

Looming from the shadows is the Diabolical Contraption, the centrepiece of Adagio's escapology routine.

You can also see a stepladder here.

>
I beg your pardon?

>i
You are juggling:
  a Robert Frost sculpture
  a circle sculpture
  a burger
    a patty
    a romaine lettuce leaf
  a bow
  a dog sculpture
  a helium canister
  a French horn
  some bendy balloons
  a stack of pies
  a red nose (being worn)

>drop pie
The stack of pies falls between the bars and lands inside the cage.

>l
Backstage (on the cage)
This is a curtained-off area in the Big Top where the props are kept ready for each performer's routines, and where the performers can peek out at the crowd. You can step north through the curtains to enter the main area, or you can slip out the south exit to the staff area.

Looming from the shadows is the Diabolical Contraption, the centrepiece of Adagio's escapology routine.

You can also see a stepladder here.

In the cage you can see a stack of pies.

>get pie
You grab the whole stack. Why stop at one?

>i
You are juggling:
  a stack of pies
  a Robert Frost sculpture
  a circle sculpture
  a burger
    a patty
    a romaine lettuce leaf
  a bow
  a dog sculpture
  a helium canister
  a French horn
  some bendy balloons
  a red nose (being worn)

>put circle on cage
The circle sculpture falls between the bars and lands inside the cage.

>get circle
Got it.

>l
Backstage (on the cage)
This is a curtained-off area in the Big Top where the props are kept ready for each performer's routines, and where the performers can peek out at the crowd. You can step north through the curtains to enter the main area, or you can slip out the south exit to the staff area.

Looming from the shadows is the Diabolical Contraption, the centrepiece of Adagio's escapology routine.

You can also see a stepladder here.

>x cage
During his Beast Show, Lawn locks himself and the goose in this immense cage. Each of the cage's four sides is a lattice of iron bars, criss-crossing vertically and horizontally, spaced about six inches apart. The top of the cage is covered by the same kind of lattice, preventing the goose from flying out to harass the audience (and preventing Lawn from climbing out to argue with children in the audience).

>*maybe I just climb the cage and honk from on top during the performance?
I didn't understand that sentence.

>l
Backstage (on the cage)
This is a curtained-off area in the Big Top where the props are kept ready for each performer's routines, and where the performers can peek out at the crowd. You can step north through the curtains to enter the main area, or you can slip out the south exit to the staff area.

Looming from the shadows is the Diabolical Contraption, the centrepiece of Adagio's escapology routine.

You can also see a stepladder here.

>d
(first getting off the cage's top)
You quickly clamber down the cage.

Backstage
This is a curtained-off area in the Big Top where the props are kept ready for each performer's routines, and where the performers can peek out at the crowd. You can step north through the curtains to enter the main area, or you can slip out the south exit to the staff area.

There's a huge cage in storage here, the cage in which Lawn and his goose perform their show.

Looming from the shadows is the Diabolical Contraption, the centrepiece of Adagio's escapology routine.

You can also see a stepladder here.

There's no exit that way.

>n

Seats
You're always amazed at how huge the Big Top is. It must have been how the ancient Romans felt in the Coliseum, probably. Tiers of seats surround a central ring here, which is really just a big patch of empty ground if you're being cynical, but what was the Coliseum if not a load of seats around an empty patch of ground, huh?

Right now you're in the gangways between the empty seats and the ring. You can head into the central ring, south to a backstage area out of sight of the seats, or west to the entrance tent. You can also take a shortcut through a flap to the east into the staff area, or north into the carnival.

>e

Staff Area, by Adagio and Lawn
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field is directly behind the Top, although you can use one of the tent's fire exits to head inside to the west. Adagio's camper is parked to the north, and Lawn's caravan is to the east.

There's more of the staff area to the south, as well as to the southwest if you take a shortcut underneath the tent ropes.

The goose. It's still here.

The goose waddles around a little.

>e

Lawn's Caravan
Lawn's caravan smells surprisingly good, given that he shares it with a goose. The bed has been ripped out and replaced with a paddling pool. Not for the first time, you wonder if it's actually the goose's caravan and Lawn sleeps on the roof or something. The exit is west.

Ken Lawn, the carnival's resident Animal Tamer, is brooding here.

>talk to lawn
"Oh. Hello, clown," says Lawn.

1) "Can I tag along and see you perform your show? Maybe I can help."
2) "Could you remind me what the Phantom was doing to ruin your show?"
3) "Why can't you take the goose's blindfold off during the show?"
4) "If the problem is that the goose can't see your gestures, can you train it to respond to words instead?"
5) "Show me the gestures you're using to get the goose to do tricks! Please."
6) "See you around, Ken!"

>1
["Can I tag along and see you perform your show? Maybe I can help."]

"Well, I suppose you may, if you think you can make a difference," muses Lawn. "If the show goes poorly again, perhaps you can keep the audience entertained with your antics and capers."



Please press SPACE to continue.

Just before the show starts, you hear a groan from Lawn, and hurry over to him. Once again, someone has managed to blindfold the goose! Lawn tries to untie the blindfold, but while he's being battered by wings, something moves in the corner of your eye. You look up just in time to see...

It's the Phantom! They disappear through the backstage exit. You want to give chase, but it's too late now, it's showtime. The audience is waiting. The morose Lawn enters the cage with the blindfolded goose, the cage is locked, Freda and the others haul the cage out into the ring, and then it's just you, Lawn, the goose, and the audience.


Ring
You're in the heart of the Big Top, surrounded by a probably-adoring audience. The circus is in full swing right now. If you headed out right now you'd be in the gangways between the seats, but it's showtime now - you aren't leaving this ring until this show ends, one way or another.

A huge cage has been set up within the Ring. You're outside it, and inside are Lawn and the goose.

You can also see your clown car (empty) here.

"Alright, settle down, settle down!" It looks like Lawn is going to press ahead with the show as he usually performs it. "You kids better listen up! This is important! My name is Mister Lawn, and this is my incredible storytelling goose! Settle down! We're going to tell you a story with a moral. It's called The Goose Who Ran Into Traffic And Got Hit By A Car.

"'Once upon a time, there was a goose. A goose who crossed the road by charging into traffic... like so!'" Lawn raises both hands to his chest, like he's beckoning. The goose sits still.

>honk horn
(the French horn)
You achieve nothing by this.

>honk nose
Honk!

"HOOONK!" The aggrieved goose flies at the wall of the cage and beats its wings against the bars.

The audience politely applauds.

"Yes, she always loved to run into traffic," Lawn continues. "And we would all admonish her! We would all say 'Goose, you must wait for the traffic to stop before you cross the road, or you will get hit!'

"But the goose would always say... 'Who, me?'" At this, Lawn spreads his arms out wait, and looks at the goose hopefully. The goose just stands there.

>get on cage
You can't get into the closed cage.

>climb cage
The horizontal bars of the cage are spaced just right for you to scramble up on top, with the goose show happening right below you. Thankfully your big feet keep you stable up here and stop your legs falling between the bars.

Ring (on the cage)
You're balancing on a cage in the heart of the Big Top, surrounded by a probably-adoring audience. The circus is in full swing right now. If you headed out right now you'd be in the gangways between the seats, but it's showtime now - you aren't leaving this ring until this show ends, one way or another.

You can see your clown car (empty) here.

Ken Lawn, the carnival's resident Animal Tamer, is desperately trying to keep his show on the rails from within the cage.

The goose is in the cage with Lawn, blindfolded and unable to see Lawn's cues.

Lawn clears his throat. "Yes, she would spread her wings like this!" He spreads his arms again, to no extra effect.

>honk horn
(the French horn)
You achieve nothing by this.

>honk nose
Honk!

"HOOONK!" The aggrieved goose flies skyward and pecks at your feet through the ceiling of the cage.
"No, no, no!" complains Lawn. "The goose didn't do that!"

>*oh wait not there yet
I didn't understand that sentence.

>d
(first getting off the cage's top)
You quickly clamber down the cage.

Ring
You're in the heart of the Big Top, surrounded by a probably-adoring audience. The circus is in full swing right now. If you headed out right now you'd be in the gangways between the seats, but it's showtime now - you aren't leaving this ring until this show ends, one way or another.

A huge cage has been set up within the Ring. You're outside it, and inside are Lawn and the goose.

You can also see your clown car (empty) here.

There's no exit that way.

"That goose isn't trained at all!" shouts an audience member.

"Hey, kid! Be quiet!" shouts Lawn back. But the rest of the audience is looking uncomfortable too. If Lawn (or, let's face it, more likely you) can't find a way to make the blindfolded goose respond soon, the performance might have to be cancelled.

>honk horn
(the French horn)
You achieve nothing by this.

>honk car horn
(reaching through the window)
Honk!

"Honk," the goose responds pleasantly. It stretches its wings out for a second.

The audience murmurs - they're impressed. So is Lawn, who gives you a rare thumbs-up.

"And so it was that one fateful day, our goose pushed her luck yet again. She just couldn't wait for the light to turn red. She flew into traffic..." Lawn brings his hands up to his chest again. No response from the goose.

>honk nose
Honk!

"HOOONK!" The aggrieved goose flies at the wall of the cage and beats its wings against the bars.

The audience claps again, and one or two audience members whoop appreciatively. Lawn is looking a little happier. You're about halfway done with the goose-taming show, you think.

"Yes, she played with traffic again - and met a Land Rover speeding around the corner. And that, I'm afraid, was the end of our goose."

Lawn now points down at the floor. The goose, of course, doesn't react.

>play horn
(the French horn)
You play your best rendition of Entrance of the Gladiators. Honk honk honk!

The goose spins around and collapses on its back with a sad trailing "hoooonk". A second later, it gets up again.

The audience starts cheering. Lawn gives you another thumbs up, then returns to working the crowd.

"Okay, settle down, settle down! It's not the end of the story yet! Our goose had been reckless, and now it was time to go to Goose Heaven. So she gained her angel wings..."

Lawn throws his arms wide again, to the usual reaction from the blindfolded goose.

>honk car horn
(reaching through the window)
Honk!

"Honk," the goose responds pleasantly. It stretches its wings out for a second.

Now the audience is going buck wild, chanting Lawn's name and throwing chairs around. Lawn's lapping it up.

"Alright, folks, settle down! Almost there! This is the good part! Yes, our goose got her wings... and she ascended to Goose Heaven!"

This time, Lawn raises both hands to the sky, like he's throwing something upwards. The goose doesn't stir.

>climb cage
The horizontal bars of the cage are spaced just right for you to scramble up on top, with the goose show happening right below you. Thankfully your big feet keep you stable up here and stop your legs falling between the bars.

Ring (on the cage)
You're balancing on a cage in the heart of the Big Top, surrounded by a probably-adoring audience. The circus is in full swing right now. If you headed out right now you'd be in the gangways between the seats, but it's showtime now - you aren't leaving this ring until this show ends, one way or another.

You can see your clown car (empty) here.

Ken Lawn, the carnival's resident Animal Tamer, is desperately trying to keep his show on the rails from within the cage.

The goose is in the cage with Lawn, blindfolded and unable to see Lawn's cues.

The goose shakes its head, but doesn't manage to dislodge the little blindfold.

>honk horn
(the French horn)
You achieve nothing by this.

"Yes, she ascended!" shouts Lawn, throwing his hands up again towards the top of the cage. "She flew up!"

>honk nose
Honk!

"HOOONK!" The aggrieved goose flies skyward and pecks at your feet through the ceiling of the cage.

The audience explodes! They can't contain themselves! People run down to the ring to high-five Lawn through the bars! Lawn picks up the goose and holds it up for people to pet it, and everyone only gets wing-beaten a little bit!

You watch the frenzy from on top of the cage. Looks like this show went pretty well. The Phantom has been vanquished this time!


Please press SPACE to continue.

It's later on, the goose has been freed from its blindfold with much biting and cursing, and now you and Lawn are back in his caravan. He turns to you stiffly. "Look, clown... Lola. I know we're not the closest... I know I can be somewhat abrasive, I don't play along, I talk behind your back, but... that was a good thing you did for the Goose and I, helping us there. You've saved our show, and by extension, the circus. Thank you, Lola."

This is the first time Ken Lawn has ever sincerely thanked you. You're so moved, you're not even gonna ask about that "talk behind your back" bit.

Lawn's Caravan
Lawn's caravan smells surprisingly good, given that he shares it with a goose. The bed has been ripped out and replaced with a paddling pool. Not for the first time, you wonder if it's actually the goose's caravan and Lawn sleeps on the roof or something. The exit is west.

Ken Lawn, the carnival's resident Animal Tamer, is brooding here.

"Hello? H-Hello!"

The Ringmaster runs in, waving his arms like those tall inflatable boys you get outside of used car warehouses. "We got them! We got them!" He stops to catch his breath for several minutes while you and Lawn wait. "We just caught the Ph-Phantom! We've got them tied up in the circus!"

"Finally!" says Lawn. "Time to give them a piece of my mind!" He heads out of the caravan and towards the circus.

"You too, L-Lola," says the boss. "Th-thank you for helping everyone. I want you to be there when we find out who this ghost really is."

>l
Lawn's Caravan
Lawn's caravan smells surprisingly good, given that he shares it with a goose. The bed has been ripped out and replaced with a paddling pool. Not for the first time, you wonder if it's actually the goose's caravan and Lawn sleeps on the roof or something. The exit is west.

The boss hovers nervously nearby.

>w

Staff Area, by Adagio and Lawn
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field is directly behind the Top, although you can use one of the tent's fire exits to head inside to the west. Adagio's camper is parked to the north, and Lawn's caravan is to the east.

There's more of the staff area to the south, as well as to the southwest if you take a shortcut underneath the tent ropes.

The goose. It's still here.

Behind you, the Ringmaster arrives.

>n

Adagio's Camper
Adagio keeps her camper van neat as a pin - it's almost like she doesn't live here. The inside is lined with shelves of reference books on magic and academic things she's into. She's also converted the, you know, the bit that hangs over the driver's cab where you keep your children? She's converted that into a hutch. You can go south to head outside.

You can see a hutch (empty) here.

Behind you, the Ringmaster runs to keep up.

>w
There's no exit that way.

>n
There's no exit that way.

>s

Staff Area, by Adagio and Lawn
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field is directly behind the Top, although you can use one of the tent's fire exits to head inside to the west. Adagio's camper is parked to the north, and Lawn's caravan is to the east.

There's more of the staff area to the south, as well as to the southwest if you take a shortcut underneath the tent ropes.

The goose. It's still here.

The goose waddles around a little.

Behind you, the Ringmaster runs to keep up.

>s

Staff Area, by Freda and you
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field is right in the corner. You and Freda have tucked yourselves away here. Your own caravan is to the south; Freda's camper is east.

There's more of the staff area to the north and to the west.

Chasing after you, the Ringmaster nervously enters.

>w

Staff Area, by the boss's camper
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field has direct access to the Big Top's backstage area through the flap to the north. The Ringmaster has parked his camper as close as he can get to it - it's just to the south.

There's more of the staff area to the east, as well as to the northeast if you take a shortcut underneath the tent ropes. You can see the Big Wheel to the west over the various trailers which you can cut through.

Behind you, the Ringmaster nervously enters.

>w
You squeeze between a couple of trailers and come out in the carnival.

Carnival, under the Big Wheel
You're mingling with the crowd in the carnival. Here, you're under a conspicuous open spot where a ferris wheel used to be, next to an orphaned lever.

The rest of the carnival is to the north. If you need a break, you can duck through the trailers to your east to get to the private staff area and the caravans.

Behind you, the Ringmaster arrives.

>n

Carnival, by the Entrance
You're right outside the entrance to the Big Top, in the carnival. There's a balloon stand here, but it's not getting much traction, probably because none of the balloons float. You can enter the Big Top by heading east.

There's more carnival to the south and north (and the northeast, if you take a shortcut through the tent ropes).

The stall is being run by some local hired help, who's preoccupied with manually blowing up more balloons.

Behind you, the Ringmaster runs to keep up.

>n

Carnival, outside Monster Manor
You're mingling with the crowd in the carnival. People turn to you expectantly as you wander about. You're right outside the carnival's signature ghost train ride, Monster Manor, situated to the north.

The rest of the carnival is to the south and the east.

The Monster Manor ride operator, an older surly-looking gentleman called Arthur, sits in front of a wall of rules.

Behind you, the Ringmaster nervously enters.

>n
You and the Ringmaster get into the buggy, the lap bar clicks into place, and you judder through the doors of Monster Manor...

In Monster Manor (in the buggy)
You're in a little buggy juddering through dark rooms.

The boss waits nervously nearby.

Suddenly, out of the gloom, a mummy appears! The boss yelps and pulls his hat over his eyes.

>*YAY
I didn't understand that sentence.

>*I knew i wanted to try this
I didn't understand that sentence.

>scream
WAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!

>l
In Monster Manor (in the buggy)
You're in a little buggy juddering through dark rooms.

You can see a mummy here.

The boss waits patiently nearby.

The ghost train stutters around a corner and the mummy disappears behind you. Suddenly, a zombie lunges out from the dark at you! The boss screams and pulls his hat over his eyes.

>scream
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHH!!!

The boss checks his own pulse.

>z
Time passes.

The ghost train crawls down a corridor and the zombie disappears from sight. You turn a corner - and suddenly, the Mad Hornist of Valencia is before you! The boss yelps and grips the lap bar.

>scream
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!

>z
Time passes.

The ghost train leaves the hornist behind, and rolls out into the daylight again. You disembark.

"I wish we hadn't made that ride so s-scary," says the Ringmaster. "M-maybe we could buy a nice funhouse instead."

Carnival, outside Monster Manor
You're mingling with the crowd in the carnival. People turn to you expectantly as you wander about. You're right outside the carnival's signature ghost train ride, Monster Manor, situated to the north.

The rest of the carnival is to the south and the east.

The boss waits patiently nearby.

The Monster Manor ride operator, an older surly-looking gentleman called Arthur, sits in front of a wall of rules.

>w
There's no exit that way.

>s

Carnival, by the Entrance
You're right outside the entrance to the Big Top, in the carnival. There's a balloon stand here, but it's not getting much traction, probably because none of the balloons float. You can enter the Big Top by heading east.

There's more carnival to the south and north (and the northeast, if you take a shortcut through the tent ropes).

The stall is being run by some local hired help, who's preoccupied with manually blowing up more balloons.

Jenny spots you and gives you a big thumbs-up without pausing for breath.

Behind you, the Ringmaster runs to keep up.

>talk to jenny
Jenny huffs and puffs and gives you a thumbs-up. Best leave her be, she's doing her best.

>pie boos
I didn't understand that sentence.

>pie boss
I didn't understand that sentence.

>e

Entrance Tent
This smaller tent acts as the main entrance to the Big Top to the east. The carnival is outside to the west.

There's also a food stand here, selling cheap burgers.

Chasing after you, the Ringmaster arrives.

>get burger
(the food stand)
You already have your old burger (or some of it, anyway) lying around somewhere. If you grab a new burger from the food stand, all the parts of your old burger will be cleared away (we run a clean carnival around here, after all). Do you want to grab a new burger?
eat it
Please answer yes or no.> y
You discard the bits of burger you already have and grab a new one.
Your dropped burger parts get squished by the crowd, and are lost to you.

The boss chews on his shirt collar.

>e
As you enter the big top, you see them. The Phantom's been tied up in the ring, and they're sitting very quietly. The others are there too. Adagio catches your eye and beckons you over. "We spotted the Phantom lurking about the Wheel," she says. "Would you care to do the honours and unmask our spectre?"

Seats
You're always amazed at how huge the Big Top is. It must have been how the ancient Romans felt in the Coliseum, probably. Tiers of seats surround a central ring here, which is really just a big patch of empty ground if you're being cynical, but what was the Coliseum if not a load of seats around an empty patch of ground, huh?

Right now you're in the gangways between the audience and the ring. You can head into the central ring, south to a backstage area out of sight of the seats, or west to the entrance tent. You can also take a shortcut through a flap to the east into the staff area, or north into the carnival.

Behind you, the Ringmaster runs to keep up.

>w

Entrance Tent
This smaller tent acts as the main entrance to the Big Top to the east. The carnival is outside to the west.

There's also a food stand here, selling cheap burgers.

Chasing after you, the Ringmaster nervously enters.

>*oh i imagine the burger was hard to code
I didn't understand that sentence.

>l
Entrance Tent
This smaller tent acts as the main entrance to the Big Top to the east. The carnival is outside to the west.

The boss hovers patiently nearby.

There's also a food stand here, selling cheap burgers.

The boss chews his lip.

>get burger
(the food stand)
You already have your old burger (or some of it, anyway) lying around somewhere. Do you want to grab a new burger?
no
Okay then. By the way, you sometimes have this funny habit of referring to sandwiches by the bread, so that if you wanted to pick up a burger, you'd say you're picking up the bun. You've found it helps you disambiguate between the specific burger you're eating and any other piles of burgers in the same room. When you try to tell people this, they call you silly, but it sure helps you.

>*lol oh god the burger must've been nightmarish
I didn't understand that sentence.

>e

Seats
You're always amazed at how huge the Big Top is. It must have been how the ancient Romans felt in the Coliseum, probably. Tiers of seats surround a central ring here, which is really just a big patch of empty ground if you're being cynical, but what was the Coliseum if not a load of seats around an empty patch of ground, huh?

Right now you're in the gangways between the audience and the ring. You can head into the central ring, south to a backstage area out of sight of the seats, or west to the entrance tent. You can also take a shortcut through a flap to the east into the staff area, or north into the carnival.

Behind you, the Ringmaster nervously enters.

>i
You are juggling:
  a burger
    a patty
    a romaine lettuce leaf
  a circle sculpture
  a stack of pies
  a Robert Frost sculpture
  a bow
  a dog sculpture
  a helium canister
  a French horn
  some bendy balloons
  a red nose (being worn)

>drop burger
Dropped.

>get burger
Yoink!

>i
You are juggling:
  a burger
    a patty
    a romaine lettuce leaf
  a circle sculpture
  a stack of pies
  a Robert Frost sculpture
  a bow
  a dog sculpture
  a helium canister
  a French horn
  some bendy balloons
  a red nose (being worn)

The boss checks his own pulse.

>get leaf
Got it.

>i
You are juggling:
  a romaine lettuce leaf
  a burger
    a patty
  a circle sculpture
  a stack of pies
  a Robert Frost sculpture
  a bow
  a dog sculpture
  a helium canister
  a French horn
  some bendy balloons
  a red nose (being worn)

>put leaf in burger
You put the romaine lettuce leaf into the burger.

>i
You are juggling:
  a burger
    a romaine lettuce leaf
    a patty
  a circle sculpture
  a stack of pies
  a Robert Frost sculpture
  a bow
  a dog sculpture
  a helium canister
  a French horn
  some bendy balloons
  a red nose (being worn)

>put pie in burger
You tried inventing the PieBurger once before, remember? Last year? It seemed like such a good idea at the time, but it led to that horrible, horrible night. The doctors were baffled (you told them what you'd eaten and they said "haha what"). No, let's let the past be the past.

>put dog in burger
You put the dog sculpture into the burger.

The boss tugs on his beard nervously as he paces.

>i
You are juggling:
  a burger
    a dog sculpture
    a romaine lettuce leaf
    a patty
  a circle sculpture
  a stack of pies
  a Robert Frost sculpture
  a bow
  a helium canister
  a French horn
  some bendy balloons
  a red nose (being worn)

>eat burger
(first emptying the burger bun of ingredients it's probably not safe to eat and dumping them where you found it)
You eat the burger. It's... fine.

>*ah ok, good solution
You seem to want to talk to someone, but I can't see whom.

>i
You are juggling:
  a dog sculpture
  a circle sculpture
  a stack of pies
  a Robert Frost sculpture
  a bow
  a helium canister
  a French horn
  some bendy balloons
  a red nose (being worn)

>w

Entrance Tent
This smaller tent acts as the main entrance to the Big Top to the east. The carnival is outside to the west.

There's also a food stand here, selling cheap burgers.

Chasing after you, the Ringmaster nervously enters.

>get burger
You grab a burger from the stand.

The boss tugs on his beard nervously as he paces.

>i
You are juggling:
  a burger
    a patty
    a romaine lettuce leaf
  a dog sculpture
  a circle sculpture
  a stack of pies
  a Robert Frost sculpture
  a bow
  a helium canister
  a French horn
  some bendy balloons
  a red nose (being worn)

>*now i'm just limit testing the burger
I didn't understand that sentence.

>e

Seats
You're always amazed at how huge the Big Top is. It must have been how the ancient Romans felt in the Coliseum, probably. Tiers of seats surround a central ring here, which is really just a big patch of empty ground if you're being cynical, but what was the Coliseum if not a load of seats around an empty patch of ground, huh?

Right now you're in the gangways between the audience and the ring. You can head into the central ring, south to a backstage area out of sight of the seats, or west to the entrance tent. You can also take a shortcut through a flap to the east into the staff area, or north into the carnival.

Behind you, the Ringmaster nervously enters.

>i
You are juggling:
  a burger
    a patty
    a romaine lettuce leaf
  a dog sculpture
  a circle sculpture
  a stack of pies
  a Robert Frost sculpture
  a bow
  a helium canister
  a French horn
  some bendy balloons
  a red nose (being worn)

>put all in burger
bendy balloons: Done.
dog sculpture: Done.
circle sculpture: Done.
stack of pies: You tried inventing the PieBurger once before, remember? Last year? It seemed like such a good idea at the time, but it led to that horrible, horrible night. The doctors were baffled (you told them what you'd eaten and they said "haha what"). No, let's let the past be the past.
Robert Frost sculpture: Done.
bow: Done.
helium canister: The HeliumBurger! You've heard of light bites but this is ridiculous! Eat the whole HeliumBurger in one hour and win free surgical intervention- oh, never mind, the canister doesn't fit in the bun.
French horn: Done.

The boss breaks out in a cold sweat, for no clear reason.

>x burger
A styrofoam-like bun encasing a French horn, a bow, a Robert Frost sculpture, a circle sculpture, a dog sculpture, some bendy balloons, a patty and a romaine lettuce leaf.

>get bun
You already have that.

>drop bun
Dropped.

>l
Seats
You're always amazed at how huge the Big Top is. It must have been how the ancient Romans felt in the Coliseum, probably. Tiers of seats surround a central ring here, which is really just a big patch of empty ground if you're being cynical, but what was the Coliseum if not a load of seats around an empty patch of ground, huh?

Right now you're in the gangways between the audience and the ring. You can head into the central ring, south to a backstage area out of sight of the seats, or west to the entrance tent. You can also take a shortcut through a flap to the east into the staff area, or north into the carnival.

The boss hovers patiently nearby.

You can also see a burger (in which are a French horn, a bow, a Robert Frost sculpture, a circle sculpture, a dog sculpture, some bendy balloons, a patty and a romaine lettuce leaf) here.

>i
You are juggling:
  a stack of pies
  a helium canister
  a red nose (being worn)

>put nose in burger
And take off the red nose? Unthinkable!

>l
Seats
You're always amazed at how huge the Big Top is. It must have been how the ancient Romans felt in the Coliseum, probably. Tiers of seats surround a central ring here, which is really just a big patch of empty ground if you're being cynical, but what was the Coliseum if not a load of seats around an empty patch of ground, huh?

Right now you're in the gangways between the audience and the ring. You can head into the central ring, south to a backstage area out of sight of the seats, or west to the entrance tent. You can also take a shortcut through a flap to the east into the staff area, or north into the carnival.

The boss hovers patiently nearby.

You can also see a burger (in which are a French horn, a bow, a Robert Frost sculpture, a circle sculpture, a dog sculpture, some bendy balloons, a patty and a romaine lettuce leaf) here.

>n

Carnival, by the Love Booth
You're in the main carnival area, north of the Big Top. People turn to you expectantly as you wander through the crowd. You can sneak into the Big Top through a fire exit flap to the south.

The rest of the carnival is to the west (and the southwest, if you take a shortcut through the tent ropes).

The love booth is here, adorned with its little sculpture of Cupid.

Behind you, the Ringmaster runs to keep up.

>w

Carnival, outside Monster Manor
You're mingling with the crowd in the carnival. People turn to you expectantly as you wander about. You're right outside the carnival's signature ghost train ride, Monster Manor, situated to the north.

The rest of the carnival is to the south and the east.

The Monster Manor ride operator, an older surly-looking gentleman called Arthur, sits in front of a wall of rules.

Behind you, the Ringmaster arrives.

>s

Carnival, by the Entrance
You're right outside the entrance to the Big Top, in the carnival. There's a balloon stand here, but it's not getting much traction, probably because none of the balloons float. You can enter the Big Top by heading east.

There's more carnival to the south and north (and the northeast, if you take a shortcut through the tent ropes).

The stall is being run by some local hired help, who's preoccupied with manually blowing up more balloons.

Chasing after you, the Ringmaster runs to keep up.

>s

Carnival, under the Big Wheel
You're mingling with the crowd in the carnival. Here, you're under a conspicuous open spot where a ferris wheel used to be, next to an orphaned lever.

The rest of the carnival is to the north. If you need a break, you can duck through the trailers to your east to get to the private staff area and the caravans.

Behind you, the Ringmaster arrives.

>e
You head east a little and wiggle through a wall of trailers to get back to the staff area.

Staff Area, by the boss's camper
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field has direct access to the Big Top's backstage area through the flap to the north. The Ringmaster has parked his camper as close as he can get to it - it's just to the south.

There's more of the staff area to the east, as well as to the northeast if you take a shortcut underneath the tent ropes. You can see the Big Wheel to the west over the various trailers which you can cut through.

Chasing after you, the Ringmaster arrives.

>n

Backstage
This is a curtained-off area in the Big Top where the props are kept ready for each performer's routines, and where the performers can peek out at the crowd. You can step north through the curtains to enter the main area, or you can slip out the south exit to the staff area.

There's a huge cage in storage here, the cage in which Lawn and his goose perform their show.

Looming from the shadows is the Diabolical Contraption, the centrepiece of Adagio's escapology routine.

You can also see a stepladder here.

Chasing after you, the Ringmaster arrives.

>n

Seats
You're always amazed at how huge the Big Top is. It must have been how the ancient Romans felt in the Coliseum, probably. Tiers of seats surround a central ring here, which is really just a big patch of empty ground if you're being cynical, but what was the Coliseum if not a load of seats around an empty patch of ground, huh?

Right now you're in the gangways between the audience and the ring. You can head into the central ring, south to a backstage area out of sight of the seats, or west to the entrance tent. You can also take a shortcut through a flap to the east into the staff area, or north into the carnival.

You can see a burger (in which are a French horn, a bow, a Robert Frost sculpture, a circle sculpture, a dog sculpture, some bendy balloons, a patty and a romaine lettuce leaf) here.

Behind you, the Ringmaster runs to keep up.

>in

Ring
You're in the heart of the Big Top, surrounded by a curious and excitable audience, waiting for a big unmasking. If you don't wanna stay, you can head out into the gangways between the seats and the ring.

The Phantom is here, captive, silent, and awaiting an unmasking!

You can also see Lawn, Freda, Adagio and your clown car (empty) here.

Adagio casually disappears and reappears the Ten of Clubs.

Behind you, the Ringmaster nervously enters.

>x phantom
The Phantom wears a shapeless black hooded cloak, and their face is obscured by a featureless white mask. Their arms are tied behind their back.

Freda smiles and makes kissy noises at you.

>pie phantom
I didn't understand that sentence.

>l
Ring
You're in the heart of the Big Top, surrounded by a curious and excitable audience, waiting for a big unmasking. If you don't wanna stay, you can head out into the gangways between the seats and the ring.

The boss hovers nervously nearby.

The Phantom is here, captive, silent, and awaiting an unmasking!

You can also see Lawn, Freda, Adagio and your clown car (empty) here.

>e

Seats
You're always amazed at how huge the Big Top is. It must have been how the ancient Romans felt in the Coliseum, probably. Tiers of seats surround a central ring here, which is really just a big patch of empty ground if you're being cynical, but what was the Coliseum if not a load of seats around an empty patch of ground, huh?

Right now you're in the gangways between the audience and the ring. You can head into the central ring, south to a backstage area out of sight of the seats, or west to the entrance tent. You can also take a shortcut through a flap to the east into the staff area, or north into the carnival.

You can see a burger (in which are a French horn, a bow, a Robert Frost sculpture, a circle sculpture, a dog sculpture, some bendy balloons, a patty and a romaine lettuce leaf) here.

Chasing after you, the Ringmaster runs to keep up.

>e

Staff Area, by Adagio and Lawn
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field is directly behind the Top, although you can use one of the tent's fire exits to head inside to the west. Adagio's camper is parked to the north, and Lawn's caravan is to the east.

There's more of the staff area to the south, as well as to the southwest if you take a shortcut underneath the tent ropes.

The goose. It's still here.

The goose stares at the sky wistfully.

Behind you, the Ringmaster nervously enters.

>s

Staff Area, by Freda and you
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field is right in the corner. You and Freda have tucked yourselves away here. Your own caravan is to the south; Freda's camper is east.

There's more of the staff area to the north and to the west.

Chasing after you, the Ringmaster arrives.

>n

Staff Area, by Adagio and Lawn
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field is directly behind the Top, although you can use one of the tent's fire exits to head inside to the west. Adagio's camper is parked to the north, and Lawn's caravan is to the east.

There's more of the staff area to the south, as well as to the southwest if you take a shortcut underneath the tent ropes.

The goose. It's still here.

Behind you, the Ringmaster arrives.

>honk nose
Honk!

"HOOONK!" The aggrieved goose flies at your face! It beats its wings around your head and pecks at your nose, eliciting more honks which just make it angrier. You eventually fend off the goose and flee to...

Staff Area, by Freda and you
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field is right in the corner. You and Freda have tucked yourselves away here. Your own caravan is to the south; Freda's camper is east.

There's more of the staff area to the north and to the west.

Behind you, the Ringmaster runs to keep up.

>e

Freda's Camper
You spend more time here than in your own caravan. Freda fills the poky camper like how custard fills a pie dish, and most of the rest of the space is taken up by barbells, but that's fine by you, that just makes the place cosier. If you have to leave, the door out to the staff area is west.

Chasing after you, the Ringmaster runs to keep up.

>s
There's no exit that way.

>w

Staff Area, by Freda and you
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field is right in the corner. You and Freda have tucked yourselves away here. Your own caravan is to the south; Freda's camper is east.

There's more of the staff area to the north and to the west.

Behind you, the Ringmaster runs to keep up.

>s

Your Caravan
It's not much, but it's yours. Really, it's just a place for sleeping (and you do most of that in Freda's caravan these days) and for keeping your props and medication. You can exit north to the staff area.

Chasing after you, the Ringmaster runs to keep up.

>s
There's no exit that way.

>n

Staff Area, by Freda and you
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field is right in the corner. You and Freda have tucked yourselves away here. Your own caravan is to the south; Freda's camper is east.

There's more of the staff area to the north and to the west.

Chasing after you, the Ringmaster runs to keep up.

>w

Staff Area, by the boss's camper
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field has direct access to the Big Top's backstage area through the flap to the north. The Ringmaster has parked his camper as close as he can get to it - it's just to the south.

There's more of the staff area to the east, as well as to the northeast if you take a shortcut underneath the tent ropes. You can see the Big Wheel to the west over the various trailers which you can cut through.

Chasing after you, the Ringmaster nervously enters.

>w
You squeeze between a couple of trailers and come out in the carnival.

Carnival, under the Big Wheel
You're mingling with the crowd in the carnival. Here, you're under a conspicuous open spot where a ferris wheel used to be, next to an orphaned lever.

The rest of the carnival is to the north. If you need a break, you can duck through the trailers to your east to get to the private staff area and the caravans.

Behind you, the Ringmaster arrives.

>n

Carnival, by the Entrance
You're right outside the entrance to the Big Top, in the carnival. There's a balloon stand here, but it's not getting much traction, probably because none of the balloons float. You can enter the Big Top by heading east.

There's more carnival to the south and north (and the northeast, if you take a shortcut through the tent ropes).

The stall is being run by some local hired help, who's preoccupied with manually blowing up more balloons.

Chasing after you, the Ringmaster nervously enters.

>w
There's no exit that way.

Jenny ties up an inflated balloon and immediately starts blowing up another without any pause for breath.

>e

Entrance Tent
This smaller tent acts as the main entrance to the Big Top to the east. The carnival is outside to the west.

There's also a food stand here, selling cheap burgers.

Chasing after you, the Ringmaster runs to keep up.

>e

Seats
You're always amazed at how huge the Big Top is. It must have been how the ancient Romans felt in the Coliseum, probably. Tiers of seats surround a central ring here, which is really just a big patch of empty ground if you're being cynical, but what was the Coliseum if not a load of seats around an empty patch of ground, huh?

Right now you're in the gangways between the audience and the ring. You can head into the central ring, south to a backstage area out of sight of the seats, or west to the entrance tent. You can also take a shortcut through a flap to the east into the staff area, or north into the carnival.

You can see a burger (in which are a French horn, a bow, a Robert Frost sculpture, a circle sculpture, a dog sculpture, some bendy balloons, a patty and a romaine lettuce leaf) here.

Behind you, the Ringmaster nervously enters.

>get pie
You already have that.

>i
You are juggling:
  a stack of pies
  a helium canister
  a red nose (being worn)

>w

Entrance Tent
This smaller tent acts as the main entrance to the Big Top to the east. The carnival is outside to the west.

There's also a food stand here, selling cheap burgers.

Behind you, the Ringmaster nervously enters.

>w

Carnival, by the Entrance
You're right outside the entrance to the Big Top, in the carnival. There's a balloon stand here, but it's not getting much traction, probably because none of the balloons float. You can enter the Big Top by heading east.

There's more carnival to the south and north (and the northeast, if you take a shortcut through the tent ropes).

The stall is being run by some local hired help, who's preoccupied with manually blowing up more balloons.

Chasing after you, the Ringmaster runs to keep up.

>e

Entrance Tent
This smaller tent acts as the main entrance to the Big Top to the east. The carnival is outside to the west.

There's also a food stand here, selling cheap burgers.

Chasing after you, the Ringmaster arrives.

>n
There's no exit that way.

>s
There's no exit that way.

>l
Entrance Tent
This smaller tent acts as the main entrance to the Big Top to the east. The carnival is outside to the west.

The boss hovers patiently nearby.

There's also a food stand here, selling cheap burgers.

>e

Seats
You're always amazed at how huge the Big Top is. It must have been how the ancient Romans felt in the Coliseum, probably. Tiers of seats surround a central ring here, which is really just a big patch of empty ground if you're being cynical, but what was the Coliseum if not a load of seats around an empty patch of ground, huh?

Right now you're in the gangways between the audience and the ring. You can head into the central ring, south to a backstage area out of sight of the seats, or west to the entrance tent. You can also take a shortcut through a flap to the east into the staff area, or north into the carnival.

You can see a burger (in which are a French horn, a bow, a Robert Frost sculpture, a circle sculpture, a dog sculpture, some bendy balloons, a patty and a romaine lettuce leaf) here.

Chasing after you, the Ringmaster nervously enters.

>in

Ring
You're in the heart of the Big Top, surrounded by a curious and excitable audience, waiting for a big unmasking. If you don't wanna stay, you can head out into the gangways between the seats and the ring.

The Phantom is here, captive, silent, and awaiting an unmasking!

You can also see Lawn, Freda, Adagio and your clown car (empty) here.

Lawn harrumphs.

Chasing after you, the Ringmaster arrives.

>throw pie at phantom
Splat!

The Phantom shakes the custard out. Other than that, they don't really react much. Maybe you should be worried about that?

Adagio tosses the deck in the air, catching with her other hand.

The boss chews his lip.

>honk nose
Honk!

>x phantom
The Phantom wears a shapeless black hooded cloak, and their face is obscured by a featureless white mask. Their arms are tied behind their back.

Freda smiles and winks at you.

>talk to phantom
The Phantom maintains their silence.

>l
Ring
You're in the heart of the Big Top, surrounded by a curious and excitable audience, waiting for a big unmasking. If you don't wanna stay, you can head out into the gangways between the seats and the ring.

The boss waits patiently nearby.

The Phantom is here, captive, silent, and awaiting an unmasking!

You can also see Lawn, Freda, Adagio and your clown car (empty) here.

>kiss phantom
The Phantom might not like that.

>talk to phantom
The Phantom maintains their silence.

Adagio flexes the deck of cards absent-mindedly.

Lawn harrumphs.

>unmask
What do you want to unmask?

>me
It's not a mask, it's facepaint. And no, it stays on.

Lawn watches you, as if daring you to try any funny business.

>unmask lawn
He's not wearing a mask. Not a literal one, anyway.

Freda smiles and waggles her eyebrows at you.

>unmask freda
She's not wearing a mask. Not a literal one, anyway.

>unmask boss
He's not wearing a mask. Not a literal one, anyway.

Freda smiles and waggles her eyebrows at you.

>unmask pie
That can't be unmasked
>i
You are juggling:
  a stack of pies
  a helium canister
  a red nose (being worn)

Freda smiles and winks at you.

Lawn harrumphs.

>*SO minor but there's no line break for unmasking objects
I didn't understand that sentence.

>l
Ring
You're in the heart of the Big Top, surrounded by a curious and excitable audience, waiting for a big unmasking. If you don't wanna stay, you can head out into the gangways between the seats and the ring.

The boss hovers nervously nearby.

The Phantom is here, captive, silent, and awaiting an unmasking!

You can also see Lawn, Freda, Adagio and your clown car (empty) here.

Adagio casually disappears and reappears the Jack of Spades.

The boss chews his lip.

>unmask phantom
You grab the mask, revealing-


Please press SPACE to continue.

He launches himself upwards, knocking you backwards. The ropes fall in coils around him, and he pockets the razor blade he'd been holding. He stands up, a chiselled, clean-shaven man.

"Well, here we are again," he says to the Ringmaster. "Remember me... 'boss'?"

It's... it's...

1) "... who are you?"
2) "Sorry, who are you again?"
3) "??????"
4) "?"

>3
["??????"]

The unmasked Phantom turns to you. "Why, clown, surely a local citizen would recognise their local Member of Parliament, Marcus Pooting MP. And surely one with respect for the history of the circus would recognise its former troupe member..."

Something dawns on the Ringmaster. "You! Y-You're Magnus, our old strongman!"

"That was another life," smirks Mister Pooting, "and one I deeply regret. Please, call me Marcus Pooting MP."

1) "Who's Magnus? I don't think I've heard anyone talk about him."
2) "Why are you trying to sabotage the circus?"
3) "I have some questions about your methods, Mister Pooting."
4) "I don't wanna talk to you anymore. Let's tie you up again."

>1
["Who's Magnus? I don't think I've heard anyone talk about him."]

"You wouldn't have done," murmurs Adagio. "He was gone before you and Freda joined us. Not our favourite person."

"N-now, M-Magnus," the Ringmaster quavers, while the Phantom - Mister Pooting - stares him down. "I'm v-very sorry we had to let you go, but you have to realise-"

"Well I'm not sorry!" interjects Lawn.

1) "Wait, wasn't he the one who who took time off for his grandma's funeral, like, eight times?"
2) "Wait, wasn't he the one who tried to get Ken fired?"
3) "Wait, wasn't he the one who you guys think was embezzling?"

>2
["Wait, wasn't he the one who tried to get Ken fired?"]

"W-we never actually proved that," begins the boss.

"No, we didn't," says Adagio. "But we know someone stole your wallet and planted it in Kentucky's caravan. It's a good thing he had that alibi, getting into that argument with that seven-year-old in front of that school trip."

"And who could have tried that, huh?" shouts Lawn, squaring up to Mister Pooting. "Could it perhaps be the man who borrowed money from the victim and didn't want to pay it back? And still hasn't, by the way!"

"A calumny," says the Phantom. "Anybody could have stolen from the Ringmaster, with the weak and breakable lock his old caravan had."

1) "Why are you trying to sabotage the circus?"
2) "I have some questions about your methods, Mister Pooting."
3) "I don't wanna talk to you anymore. Let's tie you up again."

>*i have never seen the word calumny before in my life. added to vocabulary
That command isn't available in choice mode.

>1
["Why are you trying to sabotage the circus?"]

The Phantom turns away from you. He addresses the audience instead.

"It is my belief that this city, and this country, rests on a simple bedrock.

"The bedrock of economy.

"Of the free market, and of free choice.

"I believe in development - in improving our urban and suburban areas to offer you the best economy in the world.

"Areas like this very field.

"Building a brand-new, fully modernised supermarket in this field would offer an unprecedented supply of goods and services to the people of this city.

"But my colleagues in the circus don't want you to have this choice.

"They believe in frivolity over the free market; in silliness, not security."

1) "But there's already a supermarket nearby. You can see it from the entrance."
2) "But this is a playing field. It's not just us who use this field. Kids need it to play sport."
3) "But people need to go somewhere to have fun too. We're only here for a few weeks a year."
4) "Pardon me, is everything you say going to be its own paragraph?"

>1
["But there's already a supermarket nearby. You can see it from the entrance."]

The Phantom ignores this. "I ask you this," he says, still facing the crowd. "What would you rather have?

"Would you rather be kept in the dark, in this tent, rewarded with nothing but spectacle?

"Or will you join me in building a better future on this very field?"

The crowd starts calling out, a thousand voices talking over each other. But something wonderful is happening. You can't hear a single voice in favour of Pooting. Some are calling him names. Others are telling him to get lost and let the show go on. One person's trying to explain gentrification to him; another is trying to start a chant for "the goose guy". Your heart swells.

The Phantom's voice doesn't change, but his face has hardened. "I will be proud to create a more stable and secure future," he continues. He's trying to ignore it. He still thinks he's right. But he's lost the crowd. Thank goodness, he's already lost.

1) "I think it's embarrassing that your plan for this field doesn't account for updog."
2) "I have some questions about your methods, Mister Pooting."
3) "I don't wanna talk to you anymore. Let's tie you up again."

>1
["I think it's embarrassing that your plan for this field doesn't account for updog."]

Pooting sniffs. "I am sorry to hear that you are not fully satisfied with our development plans."

1) "I have some questions about your methods, Mister Pooting."
2) "I mean, do you even have a stance on updog?"
3) "I don't wanna talk to you anymore. Let's tie you up again."

>2
["I mean, do you even have a stance on updog?"]

"I will have my people look into it, and prepare a response in due course," says Pooting.

1) "I have some questions about your methods, Mister Pooting."
2) "You can't ignore this so easily, Mister Pooting. Quite frankly, if you're not for updog, you're against it."
3) "I don't wanna talk to you anymore. Let's tie you up again."

>2
["You can't ignore this so easily, Mister Pooting. Quite frankly, if you're not for updog, you're against it."]

Pooting shuffles a little uneasily. "My friends on both sides of the debate have valid points. Perhaps this is a question better directed at your local councillors." The crowd is starting to get restless.

1) "I have some questions about your methods, Mister Pooting."
2) "Surely everybody in government knows what updog is! What kind of politician are you?"
3) "I don't wanna talk to you anymore. Let's tie you up again."

>2
["Surely everybody in government knows what updog is! What kind of politician are you?"]

"Alright!" Pooting snaps. "I have had it with this incessant buffoonery, and so has the rest of the country! We are all trying to discuss serious matters for adults, and yet here you are! Well, clown, you have the stage you crave so much! Perhaps you can enlighten us all, and mince no words: what is 'updog'??"

Everyone waits with bated breath.

1) "NOT MUCH DOG WHAT'S UP WITH YOU"

>1
["NOT MUCH DOG WHAT'S UP WITH YOU"]

The audience erupts in rapturous cheers! You do a victory lap around the stands high-fiving the audience. People are crying with joy. Freda lifts you up for everyone to see, and Adagio and Lawn run around hyping up the crowd to a standing ovation. The Ringmaster leads a chant of your name. Boys rip off their shirts and beat their chests. New mothers name their children after you; old mothers write you into their will.

Marcus Pooting MP stands still and stony-faced. When the celebrations die down after about thirty minutes, he says "It pleases you to laugh, clown. But now, more than ever, we must return to the sensible discourse that this country deserves."

1) "I have some questions about your methods, Mister Pooting."
2) "I don't wanna talk to you anymore. Let's tie you up again."

>1
["I have some questions about your methods, Mister Pooting."]

"I will be happy to address your very real concerns," says Pooting.

1) "Why did you try to hurt my girlfriend?"
2) "How'd you keep sneaking backstage?"
3) "How'd you manage to blindfold a goose??"
4) "Actually, never mind."

>1
["Why did you try to hurt my girlfriend?"]

The Phantom looks blank for a moment, and he glances at Freda, and realisation seems to dawn. "I regret that you are unsatisfied with my appearance during your friend's show. Let me be clear that this was an event in which she was responsible for selecting volunteers, so she could have chosen anybody else-"

"That's not true, you made her! You pushed me out of the way to get into the ring first!" That voice belongs to someone in the audience, you can't see who. Mister Pooting ignores it.

You risk a look at Freda, but she doesn't look upset at all. She looks curious. "You must still be pretty strong to carry all that flour around yourself. What's your workout like?"

"He's not going to be your friend, Siegfrieda," says Lawn gently. "Adagio and I knew him. He won't be nice. I'm sorry."

You think it's best to change the subject. Freda may be trying to forgive, bless her, but you're having some angry, angry thoughts right now.

1) "Why did you try to hurt my girlfriend?"
2) "How'd you keep sneaking backstage?"
3) "How'd you manage to blindfold a goose??"
4) "Actually, never mind."

>2
["How'd you keep sneaking backstage?"]

"One quality that this circus is celebrated for is its dedication to preserving traditional forms of entertainment," says the Phantom. "I regret to announce that this traditionalism extends to the layout of its tents. I have learned to navigate these as, regrettably, a former member of this establishment which I have worked tirelessly to learn from and distance myself from."

Alright, you think you got that. He's saying that he just remembers where everything usually is from when he worked here. You suppose he must have remembered how to sabotage Adagio's props, or figured it out or something, not that you can ask him about it in front of the audience.

1) "Why did you try to hurt my girlfriend?"
2) "How'd you keep sneaking backstage?"
3) "How'd you manage to blindfold a goose??"
4) "Actually, never mind."

>3
["How'd you manage to blindfold a goose??"]

Mister Pooting digs around in his pocket for something. "A discovery I made during previous years at this establishment. I shall be happy to share my research to improve the workings of this place."

His hand comes out holding a small tape recorder, like the kind which journalists use in films to record interviews. He plays back... it sounds like an elephant blowing its trunk?

"Go find your goose," he says to Lawn. Lawn jogs east out of the top. A minute later, he returns with the goose limp in his arms.

"Completely asleep!" marvels Lawn. "I don't believe it! How did yaargh fnaaargh," he continues as the goose wakes up and bites his nose. The goose flies out of the tent again.

"The low, brassy melodies of the African elephant cause this goose to fall asleep for long enough to dress or modify as you please," adds the Phantom. "I learned this while watching nature documentaries with the windows to my caravan wide open several years ago. Does this explanation satisfy you? Perhaps this circus could take heed of my discoveries?"

"No thanks," says Freda. "I hate when the animals fight in those programmes."

1) "Why did you try to hurt my girlfriend?"
2) "How'd you keep sneaking backstage?"
3) "How'd you manage to blindfold a goose??"
4) "Actually, never mind."

>4
["Actually, never mind."]

1) "I have some questions about your methods, Mister Pooting."
2) "I don't wanna talk to you anymore. Let's tie you up again."

>2
["I don't wanna talk to you anymore. Let's tie you up again."]

"Oh, I don't think there'll be any need for that," says the Phantom. And suddenly he's not there anymore. He's running past you, and disappearing through the backstage curtain. You and the troupe run after him.

As you spill out of the emergency exit, you see the Phantom standing on top of the Ringmaster's van. He's holding some kind of TV remote.

"It's disappointing," he says. "It's a disappointment that certain migrating parties are unwilling to engage with local economy. You leave me no choice but to engage in a programme... of destructuring."

He points the gadget towards the looming Big Wheel. "Your 'Big Top' is about to be crushed... under the 'wheel of economy'." He presses a button...
[Press SPACE...]
Something explodes at the hub of the Big Wheel. The whole thing judders...
[Press SPACE...]
The hub bends, breaks. The Big Wheel falls off its supports...
[Press SPACE...]
The Big Wheel rolls harmlessly backwards into the woods and out of sight.
[Press SPACE...]
"Nuts," says the Phantom.
[Press SPACE...]
And he jumps, points his feet down, smashes through the windshield of the Ringmaster's van. He turns the keys in the ignition, and he's off, and you all dive out of the way as he ploughs through the trailers and drives out towards the road.

"M-my camper!" yells the Ringmaster. "I n-n-need that to camp!"

Oh no. The paperwork. That MP has all the legal paperwork for the circus! If he knows what to do with that, you don't have a circus anymore! You have to get to your car and chase him down!

Staff Area, by an empty camper-sized patch of land
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field has direct access to the Big Top's backstage area through the flap to the north.

There's more of the staff area to the east, as well as to the northeast if you take a shortcut underneath the tent ropes. You can see an empty patch of sky where the Big Wheel used to be to the west over the various trailers which you can cut through.

You can see the Ringmaster, Lawn, Freda and Adagio here.

>e

Staff Area, by Freda and you
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field is right in the corner. You and Freda have tucked yourselves away here. Your own caravan is to the south; Freda's camper is east.

There's more of the staff area to the north and to the west.

Adagio, Freda, Lawn and the Ringmaster bundle after you.

>w

Staff Area, by an empty camper-sized patch of land
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field has direct access to the Big Top's backstage area through the flap to the north.

There's more of the staff area to the east, as well as to the northeast if you take a shortcut underneath the tent ropes. You can see an empty patch of sky where the Big Wheel used to be to the west over the various trailers which you can cut through.

The rest follow you.

>w
You squeeze between a couple of trailers and come out in the carnival.

Carnival, in the tragically open air
You're mingling with the crowd in the carnival. Here, you're under a conspicuous open spot where a ferris wheel used to be, next to an orphaned lever.

The rest of the carnival is to the north. If you need a break, you can duck through the trailers to your east to get to the private staff area and the caravans.

You're bumped into by a nervous-looking person looking for the exit.

The others follow you.

>x others
You can't see any such thing.

>l
Carnival, in the tragically open air
You're mingling with the crowd in the carnival. Here, you're under a conspicuous open spot where a ferris wheel used to be, next to an orphaned lever.

The rest of the carnival is to the north. If you need a break, you can duck through the trailers to your east to get to the private staff area and the caravans.

You can see the Ringmaster, Lawn, Freda and Adagio here.

You're bumped into by a nervous-looking person looking for the exit.

>pull lever
The lever clunks forlornly.

>push lever
The lever clunks forlornly.

>l
Carnival, in the tragically open air
You're mingling with the crowd in the carnival. Here, you're under a conspicuous open spot where a ferris wheel used to be, next to an orphaned lever.

The rest of the carnival is to the north. If you need a break, you can duck through the trailers to your east to get to the private staff area and the caravans.

You can see the Ringmaster, Lawn, Freda and Adagio here.

>e
You head east a little and wiggle through a wall of trailers to get back to the staff area.

Staff Area, by an empty camper-sized patch of land
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field has direct access to the Big Top's backstage area through the flap to the north.

There's more of the staff area to the east, as well as to the northeast if you take a shortcut underneath the tent ropes. You can see an empty patch of sky where the Big Wheel used to be to the west over the various trailers which you can cut through.

The rest bundle after you.

>
I beg your pardon?

>s
There's no exit that way.

>n

Backstage
This is a curtained-off area in the Big Top where the props are kept ready for each performer's routines, and where the performers can peek out at the crowd. You can step north through the curtains to enter the main area, or you can slip out the south exit to the staff area.

There's a huge cage in storage here, the cage in which Lawn and his goose perform their show.

Looming from the shadows is the Diabolical Contraption, the centrepiece of Adagio's escapology routine.

You can also see a stepladder here.

Adagio, Freda, Lawn and the Ringmaster follow you in.

>get ladder
You close the stepladder and pick it up.

>e
There's no exit that way.

>s

Staff Area, by an empty camper-sized patch of land
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field has direct access to the Big Top's backstage area through the flap to the north.

There's more of the staff area to the east, as well as to the northeast if you take a shortcut underneath the tent ropes. You can see an empty patch of sky where the Big Wheel used to be to the west over the various trailers which you can cut through.

The rest chase after you.

>e

Staff Area, by Freda and you
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field is right in the corner. You and Freda have tucked yourselves away here. Your own caravan is to the south; Freda's camper is east.

There's more of the staff area to the north and to the west.

The others bundle after you.

>e
You try to step inside, but the stepladder clangs off the entrance and knocks you back, like when a dog tries to bring a big stick through a doggy door. Maybe drop the ladder outside first.

>n

Staff Area, by Adagio and Lawn
Part of the field around the back of the Big Top has been cordoned off as a private area for the performers and their caravans and campers. This bit of the field is directly behind the Top, although you can use one of the tent's fire exits to head inside to the west. Adagio's camper is parked to the north, and Lawn's caravan is to the east.

There's more of the staff area to the south, as well as to the southwest if you take a shortcut underneath the tent ropes.

The goose. It's still here.

Adagio, Freda, Lawn and the Ringmaster bundle after you.

>get goose
Laying a finger on the goose is a very good way to get a broken finger. Better leave it alone.

>n
You try to step inside, but the stepladder clangs off the entrance and knocks you back, like when a dog tries to bring a big stick through a doggy door. Maybe drop the ladder outside first.

The goose stares at the sky wistfully.

>e
You try to step inside, but the stepladder clangs off the entrance and knocks you back, like when a dog tries to bring a big stick through a doggy door. Maybe drop the ladder outside first.

>w

Seats
You're always amazed at how huge the Big Top is. It must have been how the ancient Romans felt in the Coliseum, probably. Tiers of seats surround a central ring here, which is really just a big patch of empty ground if you're being cynical, but what was the Coliseum if not a load of seats around an empty patch of ground, huh?

Right now you're in the gangways between the empty seats and the ring. You can head into the central ring, south to a backstage area out of sight of the seats, or west to the entrance tent. You can also take a shortcut through a flap to the east into the staff area, or north into the carnival.

You can see a burger (in which are a French horn, a bow, a Robert Frost sculpture, a circle sculpture, a dog sculpture, some bendy balloons, a patty and a romaine lettuce leaf) here.

The others follow you in.

>w

Entrance Tent
This smaller tent acts as the main entrance to the Big Top to the east. The carnival is outside to the west.

There's also a food stand here, selling cheap burgers.

Adagio, Freda, Lawn and the Ringmaster chase after you.

>w

Carnival, by the Entrance
You're right outside the entrance to the Big Top, in the carnival. There's a balloon stand here, but it's not getting much traction, probably because none of the balloons float. You can enter the Big Top by heading east.

There's more carnival to the south and north (and the northeast, if you take a shortcut through the tent ropes).

The stall is being run by some local hired help, who's preoccupied with manually blowing up more balloons.

You see some adults carefully herding their charges to the exit.

The rest follow you out.

>e
Circus-goers have to duck and dodge the swinging ladder as you weave through the crowd.

Entrance Tent
This smaller tent acts as the main entrance to the Big Top to the east. The carnival is outside to the west.

There's also a food stand here, selling cheap burgers.

Adagio, Freda, Lawn and the Ringmaster bundle in after you.

>n
There's no exit that way.

Adagio's hat starts thudding around, and she instinctively holds it down to keep the rabbit from the lettuce in the burgers.

>s
There's no exit that way.

Adagio keeps her hat held down.

>e

Seats
You're always amazed at how huge the Big Top is. It must have been how the ancient Romans felt in the Coliseum, probably. Tiers of seats surround a central ring here, which is really just a big patch of empty ground if you're being cynical, but what was the Coliseum if not a load of seats around an empty patch of ground, huh?

Right now you're in the gangways between the empty seats and the ring. You can head into the central ring, south to a backstage area out of sight of the seats, or west to the entrance tent. You can also take a shortcut through a flap to the east into the staff area, or north into the carnival.

You can see a burger (in which are a French horn, a bow, a Robert Frost sculpture, a circle sculpture, a dog sculpture, some bendy balloons, a patty and a romaine lettuce leaf) here.

The others chase after you.

>w

Entrance Tent
This smaller tent acts as the main entrance to the Big Top to the east. The carnival is outside to the west.

There's also a food stand here, selling cheap burgers.

Adagio, Freda, Lawn and the Ringmaster follow you.

>in
There's no exit that way.

Adagio keeps her hat held down.

>e

Seats
You're always amazed at how huge the Big Top is. It must have been how the ancient Romans felt in the Coliseum, probably. Tiers of seats surround a central ring here, which is really just a big patch of empty ground if you're being cynical, but what was the Coliseum if not a load of seats around an empty patch of ground, huh?

Right now you're in the gangways between the empty seats and the ring. You can head into the central ring, south to a backstage area out of sight of the seats, or west to the entrance tent. You can also take a shortcut through a flap to the east into the staff area, or north into the carnival.

You can see a burger (in which are a French horn, a bow, a Robert Frost sculpture, a circle sculpture, a dog sculpture, some bendy balloons, a patty and a romaine lettuce leaf) here.

The rest follow you.

>in

Ring
You're in the heart of the Big Top, surrounded by empty seats. It's awfully quiet when it isn't showtime. If you don't wanna stay, you can head out into the gangways between the seats and the ring.

You can see your clown car (empty) here.

Adagio, Freda, Lawn and the Ringmaster chase after you.

>get in car
(the clown car)
The ladder bonks against the sides of the car door, and in fact there's a small problem with the whole idea here, which is that the ladder is longer than the car. Maybe drop the ladder first.

>drop ladder
You open up the stepladder and place it on the floor.

>get ladder
You close the stepladder and pick it up.

>put ladder on car
(the clown car)
Putting things on the clown car would achieve nothing.

>drop ladder
You open up the stepladder and place it on the floor.

>enter car
(the clown car)
You rush to enter, and bang your head on the top of the door instead. Is your car lower than usual? And more wobbly? You check the tyres.

Oh no. One of the tyres has been completely shredded. And you have a pretty good idea of who did it too. There's no hope of catching the Phantom with your car in this state.

"Aw, babe, look what the ghost did!" Freda sounds angrier about your car than she did about the Phantom nearly killing her. She peels the shredded tyre straight off the wheel. "Can we pump this up? No, it's all in bits, look. There's no chance-"

"LEAVE IT TO ME!!" Jenny from the balloon stand sprints towards you all, vaults over the Ringmaster, snatches the tyre from Freda's hands and starts huffing and puffing into the shredded rubber.

You don't think that's gonna do it. You decide to leave it to her while you look for an alternative.

>i
You are juggling:
  a mask
  a stack of pies
  a helium canister
  a red nose (being worn)

>e

Seats
You're always amazed at how huge the Big Top is. It must have been how the ancient Romans felt in the Coliseum, probably. Tiers of seats surround a central ring here, which is really just a big patch of empty ground if you're being cynical, but what was the Coliseum if not a load of seats around an empty patch of ground, huh?

Right now you're in the gangways between the empty seats and the ring. You can head into the central ring, south to a backstage area out of sight of the seats, or west to the entrance tent. You can also take a shortcut through a flap to the east into the staff area, or north into the carnival.

You can see a burger (in which are a French horn, a bow, a Robert Frost sculpture, a circle sculpture, a dog sculpture, some bendy balloons, a patty and a romaine lettuce leaf) here.

The others bundle after you.

>get circle
That's yours now.

A little nose peeks out of the black hat. The rabbit hops out and homes in on the lettuce leaf, eating it quickly (and the rest of the burger, for that matter). Sated for now, she bounces back into the hat. "Please don't keep feeding her, Lola. It's my scalp she keeps jumping off, not yours," sighs Adagio.

>w

Entrance Tent
This smaller tent acts as the main entrance to the Big Top to the east. The carnival is outside to the west.

There's also a food stand here, selling cheap burgers.

Adagio, Freda, Lawn, the Ringmaster and Jenny bundle after you.

>in
There's no exit that way.

Adagio keeps her hat held down.

>e

Seats
You're always amazed at how huge the Big Top is. It must have been how the ancient Romans felt in the Coliseum, probably. Tiers of seats surround a central ring here, which is really just a big patch of empty ground if you're being cynical, but what was the Coliseum if not a load of seats around an empty patch of ground, huh?

Right now you're in the gangways between the empty seats and the ring. You can head into the central ring, south to a backstage area out of sight of the seats, or west to the entrance tent. You can also take a shortcut through a flap to the east into the staff area, or north into the carnival.

You can see a French horn, a bow, a Robert Frost sculpture, a dog sculpture and some bendy balloons here.

The others chase after you.

>in

Ring
You're in the heart of the Big Top, surrounded by empty seats. It's awfully quiet when it isn't showtime. If you don't wanna stay, you can head out into the gangways between the seats and the ring.

You can see a stepladder and your clown car (empty) here.

Adagio, Freda, Lawn, the Ringmaster and Jenny follow you.

>put circle on car
(the clown car)
Yes... this might work. With a great deal of effort, and a little help from Freda, you stretch the circle over the rim. The car looks level again, and the rubber and the helium seem to be taking the weight of the car. Yeah, this will work! It better had, anyway. You've got a Phantom to catch now.

>x tire
One of the tyres is now a hopefully-durable circular balloon animal stretched over the wheel.

>*i'm vaguely confused by how big this circle is, it's tire size but it could also fall through the cage when I drop it from on top of it? tho maybe everything drops through
You seem to want to talk to someone, but I can't see whom.

>l
Ring
You're in the heart of the Big Top, surrounded by empty seats. It's awfully quiet when it isn't showtime. If you don't wanna stay, you can head out into the gangways between the seats and the ring.

You can see Jenny, the Ringmaster, Lawn, Freda, Adagio, a stepladder and your clown car (empty) here.

>enter car
(the clown car)
You rush into your car, you and the Ringmaster and Freda and Adagio and Lawn and Jenny and Arthur and a little boy in a sailor suit licking a big swirly lollipop who got caught in the tide. You slam on the accelerator.

You catch up with Pooting on the motorway.



Please press SPACE to continue.

As it turns out, it wasn't that hard. The Phantom is trundling down the motorway at a stately 40mph. The wind's probably getting in his eyes after he smashed the window. The tricky part was weaving around the queue of cars backed up behind him.

You manage to get behind the camper, keeping your distance. You consider your options.

Motorway (in the clown car)
Marcus Pooting, in the Ringmaster's camper van, is pootling down the motorway just a few dozen metres ahead. You weave in and out of traffic, trying to keep up.

In the clown car you can see Adagio, Freda, Lawn, the Ringmaster, Jenny, Arthur and a little lad.

>honk horn
Honk!

>honk nose
Honk!

>l
Motorway (in the clown car)
Marcus Pooting, in the Ringmaster's camper van, is pootling down the motorway just a few dozen metres ahead. You weave in and out of traffic, trying to keep up.

In the clown car you can see Adagio, Freda, Lawn, the Ringmaster, Jenny, Arthur and a little lad.

>talk to freda
"Go faster, Lola!" yells Freda. "You shoulda done what I said and cut out the floor so I could run us on the road like in that documentary."

>talk to lawn
"No talking! Can't this thing go any faster?" yells Lawn.

>talk to ringmaster
(the Ringmaster)
"My c-camper... Oh, all the paint's g-going to be scratched and everything," moans the boss.

>talk to jenny
Jenny huffs and puffs and gives you a thumbs-up. Best leave her be, she's doing her best.

>talk to arthur
Arthur gives you a stern look, pulls out a stack of flashcards and thumbs through it until he finds the rule he wants to show you: "NO DISTRACTING THE RIDE OPERATOR."

You all feel a rumbling coming up through the road. You glance in your rear-view mirror. A loose ferris wheel is rolling down the motorway after you! You swerve to the inside lane and let the wheel pass.

The Phantom is not so alert. The Wheel rolls over the Ringmaster's camper, scooping it up and flinging it 200 feet into the air. It lands somewhere in the forest beside you. 

"Oh, my car," moans the boss.

At the next exit, you carefully pull off the road and drive back through the overgrowth to the landing zone...


Please press SPACE to continue.

Lakeside
You've ended up near some reed-choked lake. The Ringmaster's camper has rolled over here, crushed up like a soda can. You've parked up next to it. The motorway rumbles on far behind you.

The Phantom is here, freeing himself from the wreckage!

You can also see your clown car (in which are Adagio, Freda, Lawn, the Ringmaster, Jenny, Arthur and a little lad) here.

Pooting's clutching something as he wriggles free. Oh, no. He found the paperwork. He staggers halfway towards the lake with an armful of documents before he notices you. "Stay away from me! Clown!"

You motion the others to stay in the car. Better not go in mob-handed and provoke him. You assess the situation.

>talk to pooting
You can't get a word in edgeways, but there's not much left to say anyway.

"You listen to me now!" screams the Phantom. "You circus people don't understand anything about politics!"

>honk nose
Honk!

"This is about good business sense!" continues the Phantom. "This is about economy! This is about value for money!" Behind him, you can see something approaching from the sky.

>z
Time passes.

The Phantom is saying something about how commerce is the bedrock of economy. Behind him, a flock of geese flies in and settles on the lake.

>honk nose

Honk!
[Press SPACE...]
A great chorus of screams. A great beating of wings. Just enough time to run back into your car with everyone else and close the door and roll up the windows.

Marcus Pooting turns around just in time to see an army of geese bearing down on him like Valkyries charging into battle. He runs away towards your car, but the geese are faster. They're trying to get to you, but he's in the way. Angry geese ricochet off him and bowl him over, scattering the documents over the grass. Freda, Adagio and Lawn slip out the other door and sneak around to recover the papers while you, the Ringmaster and the rest shelter in the car, geese bouncing off the windows like hailstones. The Phantom lies bruised and unconscious by the lake.

Jenny stops blowing into the shredded tyre. "Sorry, guys. I think this thing has a puncture."

The circus is saved.
[Press SPACE...]
...

In fact, now things are better than ever! Everyone's talking about the shows you put on. They clamour to see Adagio and her flying rabbit. They applaud Lawn and his narrative goose. They all really wanna see Freda lift a big guy. Wherever the circus travels, tickets sell out instantly.

You still get to use that field. That field redevelopment thing never came to pass. Word got around about Marcus Pooting MP trying to crush a full circus tent with a runaway ferris wheel. That sort of thing gets people mad at you. (Most people, anyway.) Marcus held a few town hall meetings and surgeries to explain himself - Freda went to one of the surgeries and came back very confused, saying he just ranted at her the whole time and he didn't even have a scalpel - but he's having trouble since his office got demolished by a rogue ferris wheel. Empty at the time, thankfully. (Both the office and the wheel.) There's an election coming up soon, apparently. You're not sure if he's getting kicked out, but here's hoping.

Sometimes you wonder how he'd've got to you, if you'd been running your own shows that day. Would anyone have helped you? Yeah, of course they would - the others would have your back. Would anyone outside the circus have helped, though? You think they would, actually. The crowds like you. Most people are nice to you! They laugh at your jokes and cheer for your successes and some of them even come back for more. It's just a shame that the ones who hate you are the ones with the money and the power, isn't it.

But they're not the only people who matter. You still have the audience, and you still have your friends and they have you, and you still have this space and this job, and you still have a stack of pies and a mean throwing arm. And if you ever get one of those fake squirty flowers, you'll be unstoppable.



    *** Thank you for playing Honk! ***



Would you like to RESTART, RESTORE a saved game, see some suggestions for AMUSING things to do, QUIT or UNDO the last command?
> *ok that was great
Please give one of the answers above.

Would you like to RESTART, RESTORE a saved game, see some suggestions for AMUSING things to do, QUIT or UNDO the last command?
> *i do think in some of those last exciting scenes you could've added some exclamation marks at a few points
Please give one of the answers above.

Would you like to RESTART, RESTORE a saved game, see some suggestions for AMUSING things to do, QUIT or UNDO the last command?
> *like just before the end msg, "the circus is saved." coulda used a !
Please give one of the answers above.

Would you like to RESTART, RESTORE a saved game, see some suggestions for AMUSING things to do, QUIT or UNDO the last command?
> amusing
Have you tried...

Throwing pies at everyone? Multiple times?
Throwing pies at the Monster Manor inhabitants? Shooting them with the bow?
Bringing the rabbit to the burger stand (before Adagio starts wearing the black hat)?
Shooting Adagio's cards with the bow (before unmasking the Phantom)?
Bringing the Ringmaster into Monster Manor? Bringing everyone else there at once?
Trying the dog balloon as a fresh tyre instead of the circle? Trying the Robert Frost balloon?
Exiting the car while on the motorway?
Ghost Trick: Phantom Detective? Ahh dude you gotta play Ghost Trick. You gotta let me watch you play it
Falling asleep at the wheel on the motorway?
Playing the French horn next to the flock of geese?
Finding ways to end the game by going to hospital or going to jail?

Would you like to RESTART, RESTORE a saved game, see some suggestions for AMUSING things to do, QUIT or UNDO the last command?
> help
Please give one of the answers above.

Would you like to RESTART, RESTORE a saved game, see some suggestions for AMUSING things to do, QUIT or UNDO the last command?
> undo
Lakeside
[Previous turn undone.]

>help
 > How to play text adventures
   How to talk to people in Honk!
   About performing shows in Honk!
   Verbs that Honk! recognises
   Hints
   About/Credits

   How to play text adventures
 > How to talk to people in Honk!
   About performing shows in Honk!
   Verbs that Honk! recognises
   Hints
   About/Credits
   How to play text adventures
 > How to talk to people in Honk!
   About performing shows in Honk!
   Verbs that Honk! recognises
   Hints
   About/Credits

   How to play text adventures
   How to talk to people in Honk!
 > About performing shows in Honk!
   Verbs that Honk! recognises
   Hints
   About/Credits
   How to play text adventures
   How to talk to people in Honk!
 > About performing shows in Honk!
   Verbs that Honk! recognises
   Hints
   About/Credits

   How to play text adventures
   How to talk to people in Honk!
   About performing shows in Honk!
 > Verbs that Honk! recognises
   Hints
   About/Credits
   How to play text adventures
   How to talk to people in Honk!
   About performing shows in Honk!
 > Verbs that Honk! recognises
   Hints
   About/Credits

   How to play text adventures
   How to talk to people in Honk!
 > About performing shows in Honk!
   Verbs that Honk! recognises
   Hints
   About/Credits
   How to play text adventures
   How to talk to people in Honk!
 > About performing shows in Honk!
   Verbs that Honk! recognises
   Hints
   About/Credits

As you explore Honk!, you will discover that certain circus performances need to happen correctly in order to save the circus.

Each of three performers in Honk! has their own show associated with them. Talk to them, and (after they've explained the problem to you) you can choose a dialogue option that begins the show. You'll need to bring each show to a successful conclusion to reach the endgame. If a show ends in failure, you can retry it as many times as you like by talking to that performer again until you get it right.

Once you've started a show, you're stuck in the circus ring while that show is ongoing. You can't leave the ring to get anything (it's just not right to abandon your co-star mid-performance!), so try to have everything you'll need either on your person or already in the ring before you start.

If you think you can't complete a show you've started, you can talk to your co-star and choose a dialogue option to end the show early. A show can also end in failure if you take too long resolving it (but don't worry, you'll always have plenty of time to complete a show once you've got everything you need).

Good luck!




Please press SPACE to continue.
   How to play text adventures
   How to talk to people in Honk!
 > About performing shows in Honk!
   Verbs that Honk! recognises
   Hints
   About/Credits
   How to play text adventures
   How to talk to people in Honk!
 > About performing shows in Honk!
   Verbs that Honk! recognises
   Hints
   About/Credits

   How to play text adventures
   How to talk to people in Honk!
   About performing shows in Honk!
 > Verbs that Honk! recognises
   Hints
   About/Credits
   How to play text adventures
   How to talk to people in Honk!
   About performing shows in Honk!
 > Verbs that Honk! recognises
   Hints
   About/Credits

Here are some of the main commands that will work in Honk!. Every verb you need to complete the game is listed on this page somewhere.

To go somewhere:
GO direction
(The eight compass directions are recognised (GO NORTH, GO SOUTHEAST, etc). You can also GO IN or OUT, or GO UP or DOWN. That's only if the direction leads anywhere, of course. You can also just type the direction by itself - instead of GO NORTHWEST, you can say NORTHWEST, or even just NW.)

To enter something (e.g. a car, a box):
GET IN container
(and then EXIT or GET OUT to leave when you're done)

To look around at your surroundings:
LOOK (or just L)

To look at an object or a person more closely:
EXAMINE something (or just X something)

To interact with people:
TALK TO someone (or just T someone)
ASK someone ABOUT something
GIVE something TO someone
(check the "How to talk to people in Honk!" option in the menu for a little more guidance)

To take an object:
TAKE something

To drop an object that you're carrying:
DROP something

To check what objects you've got:
INVENTORY (or just I (that's a capital i))

To use an object:
It depends on what you're trying to use! Different verbs work for different objects. You can HONK your red nose, for instance. You could try to BLOW something UP, CLIMB something, CLOSE something, EAT something, OPEN something, PLAY something, PUSH something, PULL something, SHOOT something AT something else, SQUEEZE something, THROW something AT something else, WRAP something AROUND something else...

To do nothing for a turn:
WAIT (or just Z (as in "zzz..."))

To do the same thing you did last turn:
AGAIN (or just G)
(and on some interpreters, you can press the up and down arrow keys to flip through and autofill your last few commands)

To manage your game:
UNDO to undo the last move you made
SAVE to save your game so far
RESTORE to load an older game
RESTART to start a new game
QUIT to end the game (and possibly close whatever app or program you're playing Honk! in, depending on the program)
SCRIPT ON/OFF to record your play session (this will usually save a text file somewhere on your computer (if playing locally) or in your web browser's files (if playing online), but it depends on the program you're playing Honk! in).




Please press SPACE to continue.
   How to play text adventures
   How to talk to people in Honk!
   About performing shows in Honk!
 > Verbs that Honk! recognises
   Hints
   About/Credits
   How to play text adventures
   How to talk to people in Honk!
   About performing shows in Honk!
 > Verbs that Honk! recognises
   Hints
   About/Credits

   How to play text adventures
   How to talk to people in Honk!
   About performing shows in Honk!
   Verbs that Honk! recognises
 > Hints
   About/Credits
   How to play text adventures
   How to talk to people in Honk!
   About performing shows in Honk!
   Verbs that Honk! recognises
 > Hints
   About/Credits

 > What am I supposed to be doing?
   How do I save Freda's show?
   How do I save Adagio's show?
   How do I save Lawn's show?
   What do I do after saving all three shows?
   Hints for the endgame

   What am I supposed to be doing?
 > How do I save Freda's show?
   How do I save Adagio's show?
   How do I save Lawn's show?
   What do I do after saving all three shows?
   Hints for the endgame
   What am I supposed to be doing?
 > How do I save Freda's show?
   How do I save Adagio's show?
   How do I save Lawn's show?
   What do I do after saving all three shows?
   Hints for the endgame

   What am I supposed to be doing?
   How do I save Freda's show?
 > How do I save Adagio's show?
   How do I save Lawn's show?
   What do I do after saving all three shows?
   Hints for the endgame
   What am I supposed to be doing?
   How do I save Freda's show?
 > How do I save Adagio's show?
   How do I save Lawn's show?
   What do I do after saving all three shows?
   Hints for the endgame

   What am I supposed to be doing?
   How do I save Freda's show?
   How do I save Adagio's show?
 > How do I save Lawn's show?
   What do I do after saving all three shows?
   Hints for the endgame
   What am I supposed to be doing?
   How do I save Freda's show?
   How do I save Adagio's show?
 > How do I save Lawn's show?
   What do I do after saving all three shows?
   Hints for the endgame

   What am I supposed to be doing?
   How do I save Freda's show?
   How do I save Adagio's show?
   How do I save Lawn's show?
 > What do I do after saving all three shows?
   Hints for the endgame
   What am I supposed to be doing?
   How do I save Freda's show?
   How do I save Adagio's show?
   How do I save Lawn's show?
 > What do I do after saving all three shows?
   Hints for the endgame

   What am I supposed to be doing?
   How do I save Freda's show?
   How do I save Adagio's show?
   How do I save Lawn's show?
   What do I do after saving all three shows?
 > Hints for the endgame
   What am I supposed to be doing?
   How do I save Freda's show?
   How do I save Adagio's show?
   How do I save Lawn's show?
   What do I do after saving all three shows?
 > Hints for the endgame

 > The Phantom has escaped - how can I catch up with them?
   How can I slow the Phantom down?
   How can I stop the Phantom holding something hostage?

   The Phantom has escaped - how can I catch up with them?
 > How can I slow the Phantom down?
   How can I stop the Phantom holding something hostage?
   The Phantom has escaped - how can I catch up with them?
 > How can I slow the Phantom down?
   How can I stop the Phantom holding something hostage?

   The Phantom has escaped - how can I catch up with them?
   How can I slow the Phantom down?
 > How can I stop the Phantom holding something hostage?
   The Phantom has escaped - how can I catch up with them?
   How can I slow the Phantom down?
 > How can I stop the Phantom holding something hostage?

1/5: At first, you can't do anything (safely) to the Phantom. You will have to bide your time.

Press SPACE to return to the menu or H to reveal another hint.
1/5: At first, you can't do anything (safely) to the Phantom. You will have to bide your time.

2/5: After waiting for a few moves, something will change in the environment without the Phantom noticing.

Press SPACE to return to the menu or H to reveal another hint.
1/5: At first, you can't do anything (safely) to the Phantom. You will have to bide your time.

2/5: After waiting for a few moves, something will change in the environment without the Phantom noticing.

3/5: Have you spotted the flock of geese who land behind the Phantom?

Press SPACE to return to the menu or H to reveal another hint.
1/5: At first, you can't do anything (safely) to the Phantom. You will have to bide your time.

2/5: After waiting for a few moves, something will change in the environment without the Phantom noticing.

3/5: Have you spotted the flock of geese who land behind the Phantom?

4/5: You know a few tricks you can pull with geese now...

Press SPACE to return to the menu or H to reveal another hint.
1/5: At first, you can't do anything (safely) to the Phantom. You will have to bide your time.

2/5: After waiting for a few moves, something will change in the environment without the Phantom noticing.

3/5: Have you spotted the flock of geese who land behind the Phantom?

4/5: You know a few tricks you can pull with geese now...

5/5: HONK NOSE.

Press SPACE to return to the menu.
1/5: At first, you can't do anything (safely) to the Phantom. You will have to bide your time.

2/5: After waiting for a few moves, something will change in the environment without the Phantom noticing.

3/5: Have you spotted the flock of geese who land behind the Phantom?

4/5: You know a few tricks you can pull with geese now...

5/5: HONK NOSE.

Press SPACE to return to the menu.
   The Phantom has escaped - how can I catch up with them?
   How can I slow the Phantom down?
 > How can I stop the Phantom holding something hostage?
   The Phantom has escaped - how can I catch up with them?
   How can I slow the Phantom down?
 > How can I stop the Phantom holding something hostage?

   The Phantom has escaped - how can I catch up with them?
 > How can I slow the Phantom down?
   How can I stop the Phantom holding something hostage?
   The Phantom has escaped - how can I catch up with them?
 > How can I slow the Phantom down?
   How can I stop the Phantom holding something hostage?

 > The Phantom has escaped - how can I catch up with them?
   How can I slow the Phantom down?
   How can I stop the Phantom holding something hostage?
 > The Phantom has escaped - how can I catch up with them?
   How can I slow the Phantom down?
   How can I stop the Phantom holding something hostage?

   What am I supposed to be doing?
   How do I save Freda's show?
   How do I save Adagio's show?
   How do I save Lawn's show?
   What do I do after saving all three shows?
 > Hints for the endgame

   What am I supposed to be doing?
   How do I save Freda's show?
   How do I save Adagio's show?
   How do I save Lawn's show?
 > What do I do after saving all three shows?
   Hints for the endgame
   What am I supposed to be doing?
   How do I save Freda's show?
   How do I save Adagio's show?
   How do I save Lawn's show?
 > What do I do after saving all three shows?
   Hints for the endgame

   What am I supposed to be doing?
   How do I save Freda's show?
   How do I save Adagio's show?
 > How do I save Lawn's show?
   What do I do after saving all three shows?
   Hints for the endgame
   What am I supposed to be doing?
   How do I save Freda's show?
   How do I save Adagio's show?
 > How do I save Lawn's show?
   What do I do after saving all three shows?
   Hints for the endgame

   What am I supposed to be doing?
   How do I save Freda's show?
 > How do I save Adagio's show?
   How do I save Lawn's show?
   What do I do after saving all three shows?
   Hints for the endgame
   What am I supposed to be doing?
   How do I save Freda's show?
 > How do I save Adagio's show?
   How do I save Lawn's show?
   What do I do after saving all three shows?
   Hints for the endgame

   What am I supposed to be doing?
 > How do I save Freda's show?
   How do I save Adagio's show?
   How do I save Lawn's show?
   What do I do after saving all three shows?
   Hints for the endgame
   What am I supposed to be doing?
 > How do I save Freda's show?
   How do I save Adagio's show?
   How do I save Lawn's show?
   What do I do after saving all three shows?
   Hints for the endgame

 > What am I supposed to be doing?
   How do I save Freda's show?
   How do I save Adagio's show?
   How do I save Lawn's show?
   What do I do after saving all three shows?
   Hints for the endgame
 > What am I supposed to be doing?
   How do I save Freda's show?
   How do I save Adagio's show?
   How do I save Lawn's show?
   What do I do after saving all three shows?
   Hints for the endgame

The Phantom is sabotaging the shows of Adagio, Freda and Lawn. Visit them, talk to them and have them perform their shows via the conversation option you should find for each. Then figure out how to counteract the Phantom's sabotage during the show. You will need to explore the circus and find items which will help you within each show. If you don't think you can solve a show, you can either wait for it to end or talk to the performer to end it early.




Please press SPACE to continue.
 > What am I supposed to be doing?
   How do I save Freda's show?
   How do I save Adagio's show?
   How do I save Lawn's show?
   What do I do after saving all three shows?
   Hints for the endgame
 > What am I supposed to be doing?
   How do I save Freda's show?
   How do I save Adagio's show?
   How do I save Lawn's show?
   What do I do after saving all three shows?
   Hints for the endgame

   What am I supposed to be doing?
 > How do I save Freda's show?
   How do I save Adagio's show?
   How do I save Lawn's show?
   What do I do after saving all three shows?
   Hints for the endgame
   What am I supposed to be doing?
 > How do I save Freda's show?
   How do I save Adagio's show?
   How do I save Lawn's show?
   What do I do after saving all three shows?
   Hints for the endgame

1/18: The Phantom is impossibly heavy. Your job is to work out how they're doing it, and make them lighter for Freda.

Press SPACE to return to the menu or H to reveal another hint.
1/18: The Phantom is impossibly heavy. Your job is to work out how they're doing it, and make them lighter for Freda.

2/18: A significant detail: the Phantom is holding their cloak shut. What are they hiding? How can you reveal it?

Press SPACE to return to the menu or H to reveal another hint.
1/18: The Phantom is impossibly heavy. Your job is to work out how they're doing it, and make them lighter for Freda.

2/18: A significant detail: the Phantom is holding their cloak shut. What are they hiding? How can you reveal it?

3/18: Have you got anything to make somebody do something with their hands?

Press SPACE to return to the menu or H to reveal another hint.
1/18: The Phantom is impossibly heavy. Your job is to work out how they're doing it, and make them lighter for Freda.

2/18: A significant detail: the Phantom is holding their cloak shut. What are they hiding? How can you reveal it?

3/18: Have you got anything to make somebody do something with their hands?

4/18: Have you experimented with the stack of pies in Lola's caravan?

Press SPACE to return to the menu or H to reveal another hint.
1/18: The Phantom is impossibly heavy. Your job is to work out how they're doing it, and make them lighter for Freda.

2/18: A significant detail: the Phantom is holding their cloak shut. What are they hiding? How can you reveal it?

3/18: Have you got anything to make somebody do something with their hands?

4/18: Have you experimented with the stack of pies in Lola's caravan?

5/18: THROW PIE AT PHANTOM.

Press SPACE to return to the menu or H to reveal another hint.
1/18: The Phantom is impossibly heavy. Your job is to work out how they're doing it, and make them lighter for Freda.

2/18: A significant detail: the Phantom is holding their cloak shut. What are they hiding? How can you reveal it?

3/18: Have you got anything to make somebody do something with their hands?

4/18: Have you experimented with the stack of pies in Lola's caravan?

5/18: THROW PIE AT PHANTOM.

6/18: You now know that the Phantom is packing bags of flour, but you can't grab them without unbalancing everyone.

Press SPACE to return to the menu or H to reveal another hint.
1/18: The Phantom is impossibly heavy. Your job is to work out how they're doing it, and make them lighter for Freda.

2/18: A significant detail: the Phantom is holding their cloak shut. What are they hiding? How can you reveal it?

3/18: Have you got anything to make somebody do something with their hands?

4/18: Have you experimented with the stack of pies in Lola's caravan?

5/18: THROW PIE AT PHANTOM.

6/18: You now know that the Phantom is packing bags of flour, but you can't grab them without unbalancing everyone.

7/18: Can you rip or puncture the bags of flour to spill the flour?

Press SPACE to return to the menu or H to reveal another hint.
   What am I supposed to be doing?
 > How do I save Freda's show?
   How do I save Adagio's show?
   How do I save Lawn's show?
   What do I do after saving all three shows?
   Hints for the endgame
   What am I supposed to be doing?
 > How do I save Freda's show?
   How do I save Adagio's show?
   How do I save Lawn's show?
   What do I do after saving all three shows?
   Hints for the endgame

   How to play text adventures
   How to talk to people in Honk!
   About performing shows in Honk!
   Verbs that Honk! recognises
 > Hints
   About/Credits

Lakeside
You've ended up near some reed-choked lake. The Ringmaster's camper has rolled over here, crushed up like a soda can. You've parked up next to it. The motorway rumbles on far behind you.

Behind the Phantom, there's a flock of geese paddling quietly in the lake.

The Phantom is here, waving papers around and ranting!

You can also see your clown car (in which are Adagio, Freda, Lawn, the Ringmaster, Jenny, Arthur and a little lad) here.

>z
Time passes.

Pooting is still ranting and raving, but you've stopped listening now. You watch the geese drift across the lake.

>sleep
A quick ten-second catnap, and you're ready to go again.

The Phantom's getting worked up and making all sorts of arm gestures now.

>throw pie at phantom
Splat!

The Phantom shakes the custard out. Other than that, they don't really react much. Maybe you should be worried about that?

You tune back in. "...inject £1,000,000 into the local economy! House prices could well..." You tune out again and watch the geese some more.

>get paper
"No no, please leave that where it is, please," says the Ringmaster. "I have a system."

The Phantom pulls out a chart from somewhere, with axes "ECONOMY" and "GOOD". You're no economist but you're beginning to suspect he isn't, either. He's still going, by the way.

>z
Time passes.

It's a lot of fun watching the Phantom struggle to flip a chart and keep hold of a wad of circus paperwork, but you should figure out how to incapacitate him before he does something silly with the papers.

>l
Lakeside
You've ended up near some reed-choked lake. The Ringmaster's camper has rolled over here, crushed up like a soda can. You've parked up next to it. The motorway rumbles on far behind you.

Behind the Phantom, there's a flock of geese paddling quietly in the lake.

The Phantom is here, waving papers around and ranting!

You can also see your clown car (in which are Adagio, Freda, Lawn, the Ringmaster, Jenny, Arthur and a little lad) here.

The Phantom pulls out a USB stick and looks around fruitlessly for a laptop and projector to show you a Powerpoint. The geese peck idly at the grass on the shoreline.

>x papers
All the boring legal and financial stuff: where you're allowed to pitch the big top in each city, ownership details and licenses, staff wages, and so on. All the stuff that, to be clear, should not be thrown into a lake.

"In conclusion, the circus can't be allowed to..." Uh oh. Sounds like the Phantom is wrapping up. Better do something to incapacitate him soon!

>*i'm gonna be honest, i don't remember what's actually in the papers
You seem to want to talk to someone, but I can't see whom.

>l
Lakeside
You've ended up near some reed-choked lake. The Ringmaster's camper has rolled over here, crushed up like a soda can. You've parked up next to it. The motorway rumbles on far behind you.

Behind the Phantom, there's a flock of geese paddling quietly in the lake.

The Phantom is here, waving papers around and ranting!

You can also see your clown car (in which are Adagio, Freda, Lawn, the Ringmaster, Jenny, Arthur and a little lad) here.

The Phantom packs up his flip chart and other materials. The geese watch him with interest.

>x papers
All the boring legal and financial stuff: where you're allowed to pitch the big top in each city, ownership details and licenses, staff wages, and so on. All the stuff that, to be clear, should not be thrown into a lake.

"Say goodbye to your circus deeds!" The Phantom is walking towards the lake! It's now or never!

>z
Time passes.

Too late! The Phantom dunks the paperwork into the lake! The circus and carnival's legal and property rights - and your salaries - drift away with the current.




    *** Dang ***



Would you like to RESTART, RESTORE a saved game, QUIT or UNDO the last command?
> *oh no
Please give one of the answers above.

Would you like to RESTART, RESTORE a saved game, QUIT or UNDO the last command?
>