This begins a transcript of MILLIWAYS: the Restaurant at the End of the Universe An interactive fiction by Max Fog Based on the book by Douglas Adams Sequel to the original game by Douglas Adams & Steve Meretzky Programmed in ZIL using ZILF 0.9 Release number 3.01 / Serial number 231108 >* OK trying this again, updated to get the new version solvi * OK TRYING THIS AGAIN, UPDATED TO GET THE NEW VERSION SOLVI [I don't know the word "*".] >n N Hatchway You are at the bottom of a gangway. A hatch below you, which leads out to the legendary lost planet of Magrathea, is open. Another door leads up, but Eddie closed it when you left. Your gown appears to have been left where you dropped it in the last game (which seems like quite an unlikely occurrence, considering the ship you are currently in is very likely to do unlikely things): in short, your gown is on the floor. >take all TAKE ALL your gown: Taken. >wear gown WEAR GOWN Worn. >take all from pocket TAKE ALL FROM POCKET [There isn't anything to take!] >open pocket OPEN POCKET It looks like the pocket holds: a thing your aunt gave you which you don't know what it is The Hitchhiker's Guide >take all from pocket TAKE ALL FROM POCKET thing your aunt gave you which you don't know what it is: Taken. The Hitchhiker's Guide: Taken. >d D Ramp You are on the ramp leading down from the starship Heart of Gold to the surface of the legendary lost planet of Magrathea. To the north is the hatchway, and down leads to the Blighted Ground. Marvin, the Paranoid Android, is sulking. >s S Blighted Ground The land is barren and cold - to the north is the ramp back to the Heart of Gold; to the south-east, there's an unhealthy-looking crater. On the ground is a blue frob. Lying face-down in the dust next to the blue frob is a black metallic box, which has strange things protruding from it. >take frob TAKE FROB Taken. >open it OPEN IT You pull the thing in two along the ridge. Surprisingly it turns into a flimsy penknife with a blue handle. The frob will never be the same again. >se SE Crater Lip The dusty ground rises here before falling away into a crater. The crater seems rather new, as if it had been created by the impact of something huge and confused travelling downwards at high velocity. It is as if a sperm whale had inexplicably materialized several miles above the surface of Magrathea and plunged downwards, reaching terminal velocity almost immediately, terminal incomprehension soon afterwards, and, finally, terminal impact just as it was wondering whether it was going to have a nice day. This impression is heightened by the shards of whalebone and meat you can see glistening here and there around the crater. The crater lip continues south-west and south-east, and the blighted ground lies to the north-west. >sw SW Crater Lip The crater lip continues northeast and southeast here, and below you is a ledge. >d D You scramble down to the ledge. Ledge This ledge lies halfway between the crater lip and the floor of the whale crater itself. A small plant is poking out of the ground, through the dislodged soil. >take plant TAKE PLANT What a selfish person you are. Taken anyway. (Footnote 1) [Your score has just gone up by five points. Note: you can turn this feature on and off using the NOTIFY command.] >x it X IT A small, four-leafed - what do you call it - clover. The roots seem to form a plug - quite like one of the ones that you sold when you were still working at the little radio station at the end of your lane, back when Earth was around. >u U You scrabble for footholds as you climb the slippery ledge, and, surprisingly, you make it up. Crater Lip The crater lip continues northeast and southeast here, and below you is a ledge. >ne NE Crater Lip You are on the rim of a great crater which leads to the south-west and south-east, while the blighted ground lies north-west. >nw NW Even though you willingly walk away from the death scene, you can't help but feel drawn towards the crater... Blighted Ground The land is barren and cold - to the north is the ramp back to the Heart of Gold; to the south-east, there's an unhealthy-looking crater. Lying face-down in the dust is a black metallic box, which has strange things protruding from it. >plug plant into radio PLUG PLANT INTO RADIO You aren't holding the black metallic box! >take box TAKE BOX Taken. >x it X IT It's an old radio, which bears a small label which reads "Another fine product of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation." It plays a cheerful, jolly tune, which is not perfect for the mood you are in. It looks like something is missing - you just can't tell what. >plug plant into radio PLUG PLANT INTO RADIO You plug it in. The music changes its mood, becoming sadder and more meaningful. [Your score has just gone up by fifteen points.] Marvin trudges over to you. "Oh well," he drones, "I might as well join you. Don't ask. It's just that I am interested - it is not that like it, I am merely interested - in that music on your radio." Marvin remains motionless. >n N Ramp You are on the ramp leading down from the starship Heart of Gold to the surface of the legendary lost planet of Magrathea. To the north is the hatchway, and down leads to the Blighted Ground. The radio stops playing the sad tune to broadcast an announcement: "Welcome, everybody, to Milliways, the Restaurant at the End of the Universe! Everybody who is anybody at any point in time and/or space will know about this place. Welcome, all sorts of living things, to your favourite place in all the Universe! Join us at the most spectaular attraction in the whole Universe! And DON'T PANIC!" After that, it lapses back into what it was playing beforehand. Marvin follows you. >s S Blighted Ground The land is barren and cold - to the north is the ramp back to the Heart of Gold; to the south-east, there's an unhealthy-looking crater. Marvin moves towards you. >se SE Crater Lip You are on the rim of a great crater which leads to the south-west and south-east, while the blighted ground lies north-west. Marvin follows you. >sw SW Crater Lip The crater lip continues northeast and southeast here, and below you is a ledge. Marvin trundles slowly, complaining about how rubbish your life must be. >d D You scramble down to the ledge. Ledge This ledge lies halfway between the crater lip and the floor of the whale crater itself. Marvin follows you. >d D You hop over the teeth and scramble down to the crater floor. Marvin climbs down slowly, after you. Crater Floor Using Marvin as a light source, you can see the bottom of the whale crater, which is liberally supplied with whale. To the south is a dark passageway. Marvin, the Paranoid Android, is sulking. >s S You crawl through the exit and shuffle along. Slowly, it gets harder and harder to see. At one point, you start to think it will lead nowhere. Then it falls silent. Everything becomes... Dark >z Z You can hear nothing, smell nothing, taste nothing, see nothing, feel nothing, and are not even certain who you are. >x me X ME You can see nothing, feel nothing, hear nothing, taste nothing, smell nothing, and are not entirely certain who you are. >l L Dark There's nothing you can taste, nothing you can see, nothing you can hear, nothing you can feel, nothing you can smell, you do not even know who you are. >touch TOUCH (darkness) You can't hear anything, see anything, smell anything, feel anything, or taste anything, and do not even know where you are or who you are or how you got there. >smell SMELL (darkness) You can feel nothing, hear nothing, taste nothing, smell nothing, and are not entirely certain who you are. >look LOOK It isn't that dark. As your eyes accustom to the newfound light, you notice the walls of the room you appear to be in. The walls are a grey-ish colour. In front of you, a small black blur looks at you disapprovingly. >x walls X WALLS You can't hear anything, smell anything, feel anything, or taste anything, and do not even know where you are or who you are or how you got there. >x blur X BLUR It isn't that dark. As your eyes accustom to the newfound light, you notice the walls of the room you appear to be in. The walls are a grey-ish colour. In front of you, a small black blur looks at you disapprovingly. >blur, hello BLUR, HELLO The blur clears its throat and comes into focus, appearing in the shape of a white mouse, which is on the table next to you. You hear two tiny mouse paws clap twice, when a bright light illuminates the room, showing you to be in... Interview Room A table stands directly in the middle of the room, bright white against the also bright white walls. You are standing next to it. The south wall (on the other side of the room) hosts an emergency exit, and next to it is a strange and (not to mention) quite badly-made painting. All of the other walls are plain. On the table is a bowl full of fruit, and beside the bowl a sporfe (intended to be used for consumption - not to commit suicide with, which is its general purpose), and the two mice: Benjy and Percy. >* I think I invisibly gained 15 points? * I THINK I INVISIBLY GAINED 15 POINTS? [You may know what "*" means, but I don't.] >save SAVE OK. >x table X TABLE A bright white table, hardly noticeable against the walls. On the table is a bowl full of fruit, and beside the bowl a sporfe (intended to be used for consumption - not to commit suicide with, which is its general purpose), and the two mice: Benjy and Percy. >x fruit X FRUIT You see nothing special about the piece of fruit. >take fruit TAKE FRUIT Taken. >x bowl X BOWL No nice-looking fruit is left. >take it TAKE IT Benjy says, "Only take the fruit, not the BOWL. Duh." >l L Interview Room A table stands directly in the middle of the room, bright white against the also bright white walls. You are standing next to it. The south wall (on the other side of the room) hosts an emergency exit, and next to it is a strange and (not to mention) quite badly-made painting. All of the other walls are plain. On the table is a bowl full of fruit, and beside the bowl a sporfe (intended to be used for consumption - not to commit suicide with, which is its general purpose), and the two mice: Benjy and Percy. "Welcome to the Testing Lab of Magrathea!" Percy says. "Please, have something to eat." He gestures vaguely towards the fruit bowl on the table, but doesn't look at it at all. >x percy X PERCY Percy the mouse is on the right hand side. He is in a sort of wine-bottle looking contraption. >ask percy about himself ASK PERCY ABOUT HIMSELF A long silence tells you that Percy mouse isn't interested in talking about himself. >x contraption X CONTRAPTION Inside is Percy. >ask percy about magrathea ASK PERCY ABOUT MAGRATHEA "We work for Magrathea." The mice look uncomfortably at each other. >ask percy about contraption ASK PERCY ABOUT CONTRAPTION He shrugs. >l L Interview Room A table stands directly in the middle of the room, bright white against the also bright white walls. You are standing next to it. The south wall (on the other side of the room) hosts an emergency exit, and next to it is a strange and (not to mention) quite badly-made painting. All of the other walls are plain. On the table is a bowl full of fruit, and beside the bowl a sporfe (intended to be used for consumption - not to commit suicide with, which is its general purpose), and the two mice: Benjy and Percy. The mice look uncomfortably at each other. >x bnejy X BNEJY [You don't need to use the word "bnejy" to complete the game.] >x benjy X BENJY Benjy the mouse is on the left hand side. He is in a sort of wine-bottle looking contraption. >ask percy about benjy ASK PERCY ABOUT BENJY A long silence tells you that Percy mouse isn't interested in talking about him. The mice look uncomfortably at each other. >ask percy about fruit ASK PERCY ABOUT FRUIT He shrugs. The mice turn to stare at you. "Ahem... As I was saying, you are welcome to have something to eat." He glances towards the fruit bowl on the table, but does nothing else. >ask percy about testing ASK PERCY ABOUT TESTING [Sorry, but I don't understand. Please say that another way, or try something else.] >x sporfe X SPORFE It looks like a sporfe. What else is there to say? >take it TAKE IT Taken. >eat it EAT IT Stuffing the sporfe in your mouth would do little to help at this point. >commit suicide COMMIT SUICIDE [The word "commit" isn't in the vocabulary that you can use with me.] >* ah well * AH WELL [I guess I'll have to learn what "*" means. But for now, I don't.] >* probably not the best idea * PROBABLY NOT THE BEST IDEA [I'm just a stupid computer. Please enlighten me with what "*" means. No, actually, don't.] >l L Interview Room A table stands directly in the middle of the room, bright white against the also bright white walls. You are standing next to it. The south wall (on the other side of the room) hosts an emergency exit, and next to it is a strange and (not to mention) quite badly-made painting. All of the other walls are plain. On the table is a bowl full of fruit, and the two mice: Benjy and Percy. The mice look uncomfortably at each other. >x painting X PAINTING You look at the painting, which could have been done by yours truly (and I'm not even AI yet). It is of an old mouse wearing a monocle. At the bottom of the painting is a plaque, which reads: Reginald Markenplatt Founder of Magrathea Corps. 86 standard yrs. "Oh, you like it?" says Percy. >no NO "Well that's not very nice." The mice look uncomfortably at each other. >* nice * NICE [I don't know the word "*".] >l L Interview Room A table stands directly in the middle of the room, bright white against the also bright white walls. You are standing next to it. The south wall (on the other side of the room) hosts an emergency exit, and next to it is a strange and (not to mention) quite badly-made painting. All of the other walls are plain. On the table is a bowl full of fruit, and the two mice: Benjy and Percy. >eaet fruit EAET FRUIT [You may know what "eaet" means, but I don't.] >eat fruit EAT FRUIT You begin to feel a little sick... "The stuff in that fruit worked quickly, didn't it?" says one disembodied voice. "Of course," says another. "You know where I buy everything from." "Yeah, yeah. Anyway, let's begin." On, the upside, you felt no pain. **** You have died **** Your score is 45 of a possible 400, in 58 turns. This gives you the rank of Earthman. Would you like to: UNDO your last action, RESTORE your place from where you saved it, RESTART the story from the beginning, or QUIT for now? >undo Interview Room [Undone.] >give fruit to benjy GIVE FRUIT TO BENJY Suddenly, as the mice pretend to thank you for the "lovely" gift, Percy swiftly grabs a Kill-O-Zap gun and fires a load of bullets at you. You surprisingly catch them all, a feat which you have never accomplished before, and you slide to the floor. **** You have died **** Your score is 45 of a possible 400, in 58 turns. This gives you the rank of Earthman. Would you like to: UNDO your last action, RESTORE your place from where you saved it, RESTART the story from the beginning, or QUIT for now? >undo Interview Room [Undone.] >* worth a try * WORTH A TRY [You don't need to use the word "*" to complete the game.] >l L Interview Room A table stands directly in the middle of the room, bright white against the also bright white walls. You are standing next to it. The south wall (on the other side of the room) hosts an emergency exit, and next to it is a strange and (not to mention) quite badly-made painting. All of the other walls are plain. On the table is a bowl full of fruit, and the two mice: Benjy and Percy. The mice look uncomfortably at each other. >move painting MOVE PAINTING Preferably, you should be near the painting before you can do that. >s S You hesitate, because right now the mice look like they're plotting to murder you. The mice look uncomfortably at each other. >x door X DOOR A grand emergency exit along the south wall, which doesn't make much sense because emergency exits generally aren't grand. Also, with mice as small as these, why would they need it that big? Next to the exit is an emergency button. >open it OPEN IT Opened. The mice look uncomfortably at each other. >x button X BUTTON Next to the exit is an emergency button. It is bright red and has the words "EMERGENCY" plastered over it. >push it PUSH IT (walking over to the emergency exit first) Suddenly, as you attempt to leave and push the emergency exit button, Percy swiftly grabs a Kill-O-Zap gun and fires a load of bullets at you. You surprisingly catch them all, a feat which you have never accomplished before, and you slide to the floor. Of course, you had to walk over to the door, and then push the button, all in one. So you had no chance. **** You have died **** Your score is 45 of a possible 400, in 64 turns. This gives you the rank of Earthman. Would you like to: UNDO your last action, RESTORE your place from where you saved it, RESTART the story from the beginning, or QUIT for now? >undo Interview Room [Undone.] > [I beg your pardon?] >l L Interview Room A table stands directly in the middle of the room, bright white against the also bright white walls. You are standing next to it. The south wall (on the other side of the room) hosts an emergency exit, and next to it is a strange and (not to mention) quite badly-made painting. All of the other walls are plain. On the table is a bowl full of fruit, and the two mice: Benjy and Percy. The mice look uncomfortably at each other. >i I You have: a sporfe a piece of fruit a small penknife The Hitchhiker's Guide a thing your aunt gave you which you don't know what it is your gown (being worn and open) a babel fish (in your ear) The mice stop moving. Suddenly. Very weird, you think. And then you think about taking this as a chance to leave, which seems like a good idea to you. But before you can act on it, the mice fluidly extend a long, dangerous-looking Kill-O-Zap gun with spikes on the end (unlike any Kill-O-Zap gun you've seen) and shoot a lazer straight for your head, all while saying "I give up. You're at a fail state now!" Obviously shooting at the head loses the point of needing an intact brain to learn the Question of the Answer to the Question of Life, the Universe and Everything, but oh well, nobody really cares. Your 'friends' don't. Your family doesn't, because whatever is left of their bodies remain in orbit around the dust cloud once called Earth. Oh, and you don't either, due to obvious reasons. **** You have died **** Your score is 45 of a possible 400, in 66 turns. This gives you the rank of Earthman. Would you like to: UNDO your last action, RESTORE your place from where you saved it, RESTART the story from the beginning, or QUIT for now? >restore OK. Interview Room A table stands directly in the middle of the room, bright white against the also bright white walls. You are standing next to it. The south wall (on the other side of the room) hosts an emergency exit, and next to it is a strange and (not to mention) quite badly-made painting. All of the other walls are plain. On the table is a bowl full of fruit, and beside the bowl a sporfe (intended to be used for consumption - not to commit suicide with, which is its general purpose), and the two mice: Benjy and Percy. >push table PUSH TABLE Pushing the table has no desirable effect. >ask percy about painting ASK PERCY ABOUT PAINTING "Well, it's a very old painting, and it's of our owner, ...." And they just keep talking. Blah blah blah. >x painting X PAINTING You look at the painting, which could have been done by yours truly (and I'm not even AI yet). It is of an old mouse wearing a monocle. At the bottom of the painting is a plaque, which reads: Reginald Markenplatt Founder of Magrathea Corps. 86 standard yrs. "Oh, you like it?" says Percy. "And the painter had another famous painting, ..." The talking goes on and on, and I don't think that they even remember you're still here. >push button PUSH BUTTON The emergency door slides open, but the mice don't notice yet as they are talking about the painting. "Do you know, it's quite funny because ..." You can't even focus on what they're saying. >* Hmm wait I think I can just open the door? * HMM WAIT I THINK I CAN JUST OPEN THE DOOR? [You don't need to use the word "*" to complete the game.] >take fruit TAKE FRUIT Taken. "... And that's all that we know about the painting. Well, I hope you like it." >l L Interview Room A table stands directly in the middle of the room, bright white against the also bright white walls. You are standing next to it. The south wall (on the other side of the room) hosts an emergency exit, and next to it is a strange and (not to mention) quite badly-made painting. All of the other walls are plain. On the table is a bowl full of fruit, and beside the bowl a sporfe (intended to be used for consumption - not to commit suicide with, which is its general purpose), and the two mice: Benjy and Percy. >ask percy about painting ASK PERCY ABOUT PAINTING "We just taked about that." "Welcome to the Testing Lab of Magrathea!" Percy says. "Please, have something to eat." He gestures vaguely towards the fruit bowl on the table, but doesn't look at it at all. >s S You walk up to the door, and dash straight out of the room, through the Emergency Exit into another passage. An alarm starts blaring. Hallway This is a winding hallway, passages leading off to the south, east, and back into the "Interview" room to the north. [Your score has just gone up by twenty points.] Behind you, the sound of footsteps and people shouting echoes around the corridor. >* seems like the timing there might have gotten a bit messed * SEEMS LIKE THE TIMING THERE MIGHT HAVE GOTTEN A BIT MESSED [The word "*" isn't in the vocabulary that you can use with me.] >e E Hallway You are still in a winding hallway, passages leading east, north and southeast. Behind you, the sound of footsteps and people shouting echoes around the corridor. >e E Dead End This is a dead end. The only way out is down a set of stairs. Behind you, the sound of footsteps and people shouting echoes around the corridor. >d D Hallway You are still in a winding hallway, passages leading off to the south, east, and back into the "Interview" room to the north. Behind you, the sound of footsteps and people shouting echoes around the corridor. >* er somewhat noneuclidean * ER SOMEWHAT NONEUCLIDEAN [I guess I'll have to learn what "*" means. But for now, I don't.] >e E Hallway You are still in a winding hallway, passages leading east, north and southeast. Behind you, the sound of footsteps and people shouting echoes around the corridor. >se SE The Great Device This is the chamber of a great device named (appropriately) The Great Device. It looks like it should calculate something important, you just can't tell what. The only path leads east, back into the maze of hallways. However, it looks like you may be able to squeeze around the computer, to the northwest and southwest. Behind you, the sound of footsteps and people shouting echoes around the corridor. >x device X DEVICE That's not important; leave it alone. Behind you, the sound of footsteps and people shouting echoes around the corridor. >* er it seems kind of important, what with the capital lette * ER IT SEEMS KIND OF IMPORTANT, WHAT WITH THE CAPITAL LETTE [I'm just a stupid computer. Please enlighten me with what "*" means. No, actually, don't.] >turn on device TURN ON DEVICE That's not important; leave it alone. Behind you, the sound of footsteps and people shouting echoes around the corridor. >push device PUSH DEVICE That's not important; leave it alone. Behind you, the sound of footsteps and people shouting echoes around the corridor. >e E Hallway This is a winding hallway, passages leading up a set of stairs, north, and east. Behind you, the sound of footsteps and people shouting echoes around the corridor. >n N Dead End This is a dead end. The only way out is down a set of stairs. Behind you, the sound of footsteps and people shouting echoes around the corridor. >d D Hallway You are still in a winding hallway, passages leading off to the south, east, and back into the "Interview" room to the north. Behind you, the sound of footsteps and people shouting echoes around the corridor. >e E Hallway You are still in a winding hallway, passages leading east, north and southeast. Behind you, the sound of footsteps and people shouting echoes around the corridor. >se SE The Great Device This is the chamber of a great device named (appropriately) The Great Device. It looks like it should calculate something important, you just can't tell what. The only path leads east, back into the maze of hallways. However, it looks like you may be able to squeeze around the computer, to the northwest and southwest. Behind you, the sound of footsteps and people shouting echoes around the corridor. >sw SW Behind The Great Device There are a lot of loud noises all around you, coming from bullets, alarms, and the big hot computer behind you. Not your idea of a perfect holiday, then again, who said this was a holiday? Behind you, the sound of footsteps and people shouting echoes around the corridor. >x computer X COMPUTER That's not important; leave it alone. Behind you, the sound of footsteps and people shouting echoes around the corridor. >listen LISTEN [What do you want to listen?] >listen to computer LISTEN TO COMPUTER But the computer isn't close enough. >* hmm * HMM [I don't know the word "*".] >x computer X COMPUTER That's not important; leave it alone. Behind you, the sound of footsteps and people shouting echoes around the corridor. >l L Behind The Great Device There are a lot of loud noises all around you, coming from bullets, alarms, and the big hot computer behind you. Not your idea of a perfect holiday, then again, who said this was a holiday? Suddenly, the computer you are hiding behind (which is called a hyperspatial field generator - in case you were wondering) explodes after having overheated during the past few turns. No-one knows exactly why it exploded, but they think it got scared of all the loud noises around it (Footnote 2). Anyway, that's not the point. The point is that you have just exploded. Everything becomes... Dark >footnote 2 FOOTNOTE 2 Yes, yes. Most computers nowadays have personalities. It saves so much time on bug-testing if they do it for you. >* ... I guess that was good? * ... I GUESS THAT WAS GOOD? [You may know what "*" means, but I don't.] >look LOOK Dark You can see nothing, feel nothing, hear nothing, taste nothing, smell nothing, and are not entirely certain who you are. >smeel SMEEL [You don't need to use the word "smeel" to complete the game.] >smell SMELL (darkness) You can't hear anything, see anything, smell anything, feel anything, or taste anything, and do not even know where you are or who you are or how you got there. >listen LISTEN (darkness) You can hear nothing, smell nothing, taste nothing, see nothing, feel nothing, and are not even certain who you are. >look LOOK Dark You can't hear anything, see anything, smell anything, feel anything, or taste anything, and do not even know where you are or who you are or how you got there. >z Z You can't hear anything, smell anything, feel anything, or taste anything, and do not even know where you are or who you are or how you got there. >who am i WHO AM I You can't hear anything, smell anything, feel anything, or taste anything, and do not even know where you are or who you are or how you got there. >l L It isn't that dark. As your eyes accustom to the newfound light, you notice the walls of the room you appear to be in. The walls are a grey-ish colour. In front of you, a large green blur looks at you disapprovingly. >talk to blur TALK TO BLUR The blur clears its throat and comes into focus, appearing in the shape of a waiter, who then walks off into the distance. Odd. A bright light illuminates the room, showing you to be in... Reception This is the reception of Milliways, which has recently been polished clean. Here is a desk, and to the east is the car park. You can walk up a set of stairs to the Third Class. You can see a laminated menu here. >save SAVE OK. >i I You have: a piece of fruit a small penknife The Hitchhiker's Guide a thing your aunt gave you which you don't know what it is your gown (being worn and open) a babel fish (in your ear) >* oh wait I didn't get the thingy * OH WAIT I DIDN'T GET THE THINGY [The word "*" isn't in the vocabulary that you can use with me.] >restore RESTORE OK. Interview Room A table stands directly in the middle of the room, bright white against the also bright white walls. You are standing next to it. The south wall (on the other side of the room) hosts an emergency exit, and next to it is a strange and (not to mention) quite badly-made painting. All of the other walls are plain. On the table is a bowl full of fruit, and beside the bowl a sporfe (intended to be used for consumption - not to commit suicide with, which is its general purpose), and the two mice: Benjy and Percy. >take fruit and sporfe TAKE FRUIT AND SPORFE piece of fruit: Taken. sporfe: Taken. >ask percy about painting ASK PERCY ABOUT PAINTING "Well, it's a very old painting, and it's of our owner, ...." And they just keep talking. Blah blah blah. >s S You walk up to the door, but since the door's closed, you move no further. "And the painter had another famous painting, ..." The talking goes on and on, and I don't think that they even remember you're still here. >open door OPEN DOOR There's no door handle! Although, next to it is an emergency button. "Do you know, it's quite funny because ..." You can't even focus on what they're saying. >s S The door isn't open. "... And that's all that we know about the painting. Well, I hope you like it." >* huh, it opened before, weird? * HUH, IT OPENED BEFORE, WEIRD? [You don't need to use the word "*" to complete the game.] >undo UNDO Interview Room [Undone.] >undo UNDO Interview Room [Undone.] >push button PUSH BUTTON The emergency door slides open, but the mice don't notice yet as they are talking about the painting. "Do you know, it's quite funny because ..." You can't even focus on what they're saying. >s S You dash out of the room, through the Emergency Exit, and into another passage. An alarm starts blaring. Hallway This is a winding hallway, passages leading off to the west, northeast, and back into the "Interview" room to the north. [Your score has just gone up by twenty points.] Behind you, the sound of footsteps and people shouting echoes around the corridor. >* oh I guess this is randomized? * OH I GUESS THIS IS RANDOMIZED? [You don't need to use the word "*" to complete the game.] >s S Passages lead off to the west, northeast, and back into the "Interview" room to the north. Behind you, the sound of footsteps and people shouting echoes around the corridor. >w W Hallway You are still in a winding hallway, passages leading up a set of stairs, north, and east. Behind you, the sound of footsteps and people shouting echoes around the corridor. >u U Hallway You are still in a winding hallway, passages leading off to the west, northeast, and back into the "Interview" room to the north. Behind you, the sound of footsteps and people shouting echoes around the corridor. >w W Hallway You are still in a winding hallway, passages leading up a set of stairs, north, and east. Behind you, the sound of footsteps and people shouting echoes around the corridor. >n N Dead End This is a dead end. The only way out is down a set of stairs. Behind you, the sound of footsteps and people shouting echoes around the corridor. >d D Hallway You are still in a winding hallway, passages leading off to the west, northeast, and back into the "Interview" room to the north. Behind you, the sound of footsteps and people shouting echoes around the corridor. >w W Hallway You are still in a winding hallway, passages leading up a set of stairs, north, and east. Behind you, the sound of footsteps and people shouting echoes around the corridor. >n N Dead End This is a dead end. The only way out is down a set of stairs. Behind you, the sound of footsteps and people shouting echoes around the corridor. >d D Hallway You are still in a winding hallway, passages leading off to the west, northeast, and back into the "Interview" room to the north. Behind you, the sound of footsteps and people shouting echoes around the corridor. >w W Hallway You are still in a winding hallway, passages leading up a set of stairs, north, and east. Behind you, the sound of footsteps and people shouting echoes around the corridor. >u U Hallway You are still in a winding hallway, passages leading off to the west, northeast, and back into the "Interview" room to the north. Behind you, the sound of footsteps and people shouting echoes around the corridor. >ne NE Hallway You are still in a winding hallway, passages leading east, north and southeast. Behind you, the sound of footsteps and people shouting echoes around the corridor. >e E Dead End This is a dead end. The only way out is down a set of stairs. With a jolt of fear that freezes you to the spot, the two mice burst into the room you have just entered, backed up with a bunch of Galactic Security Agency people, and they shoot you down with a stun gun. Oh, well. The mice have got their way. **** You have died **** Your score is 65 of a possible 400, in 54 turns. This gives you the rank of Earthman. Would you like to: UNDO your last action, RESTORE your place from where you saved it, RESTART the story from the beginning, or QUIT for now? >undo Hallway [Undone.] >l L Hallway You are still in a winding hallway, passages leading east, north and southeast. Behind you, the sound of footsteps and people shouting echoes around the corridor. >n N Hallway You are still in a winding hallway, passages leading off to the west, northeast, and back into the "Interview" room to the north. With a jolt of fear that freezes you to the spot, the two mice burst into the room you have just entered, backed up with a bunch of Galactic Security Agency people, and they shoot you down with a stun gun. Oh, well. The mice have got their way. **** You have died **** Your score is 65 of a possible 400, in 55 turns. This gives you the rank of Earthman. Would you like to: UNDO your last action, RESTORE your place from where you saved it, RESTART the story from the beginning, or QUIT for now? >undo Hallway [Undone.] >se SE The Great Device This is the chamber of a great device named (appropriately) The Great Device. It looks like it should calculate something important, you just can't tell what. The only path leads east, back into the maze of hallways. However, it looks like you may be able to squeeze around the computer, to the northwest and southwest. With a jolt of fear that freezes you to the spot, the two mice burst into the room you have just entered, backed up with a bunch of Galactic Security Agency people, and they shoot you down with a stun gun. Oh, well. The mice have got their way. **** You have died **** Your score is 65 of a possible 400, in 55 turns. This gives you the rank of Earthman. Would you like to: UNDO your last action, RESTORE your place from where you saved it, RESTART the story from the beginning, or QUIT for now? >undo Hallway [Undone.] >undo UNDO Hallway [Undone.] >s S Passages lead east, north and southeast. Behind you, the sound of footsteps and people shouting echoes around the corridor. >undo UNDO Hallway [Undone.] >undo UNDO Hallway [Undone.] >e E Passages lead off to the west, northeast, and back into the "Interview" room to the north. Behind you, the sound of footsteps and people shouting echoes around the corridor. >undo UNDO Hallway [Undone.] >ne NE Hallway You are still in a winding hallway, passages leading east, north and southeast. With a jolt of fear that freezes you to the spot, the two mice burst into the room you have just entered, backed up with a bunch of Galactic Security Agency people, and they shoot you down with a stun gun. Oh, well. The mice have got their way. **** You have died **** Your score is 65 of a possible 400, in 53 turns. This gives you the rank of Earthman. Would you like to: UNDO your last action, RESTORE your place from where you saved it, RESTART the story from the beginning, or QUIT for now? >undo Hallway [Undone.] >w W Hallway You are still in a winding hallway, passages leading up a set of stairs, north, and east. Behind you, the sound of footsteps and people shouting echoes around the corridor. >u U Hallway You are still in a winding hallway, passages leading off to the west, northeast, and back into the "Interview" room to the north. With a jolt of fear that freezes you to the spot, the two mice burst into the room you have just entered, backed up with a bunch of Galactic Security Agency people, and they shoot you down with a stun gun. Oh, well. The mice have got their way. **** You have died **** Your score is 65 of a possible 400, in 54 turns. This gives you the rank of Earthman. Would you like to: UNDO your last action, RESTORE your place from where you saved it, RESTART the story from the beginning, or QUIT for now? >undo Hallway [Undone.] >w W Passages lead up a set of stairs, north, and east. With a jolt of fear that freezes you to the spot, the two mice burst into the room you have just entered, backed up with a bunch of Galactic Security Agency people, and they shoot you down with a stun gun. Oh, well. The mice have got their way. **** You have died **** Your score is 65 of a possible 400, in 54 turns. This gives you the rank of Earthman. Would you like to: UNDO your last action, RESTORE your place from where you saved it, RESTART the story from the beginning, or QUIT for now? >undo Hallway [Undone.] >n N Dead End This is a dead end. The only way out is down a set of stairs. With a jolt of fear that freezes you to the spot, the two mice burst into the room you have just entered, backed up with a bunch of Galactic Security Agency people, and they shoot you down with a stun gun. Oh, well. The mice have got their way. **** You have died **** Your score is 65 of a possible 400, in 54 turns. This gives you the rank of Earthman. Would you like to: UNDO your last action, RESTORE your place from where you saved it, RESTART the story from the beginning, or QUIT for now? >* Hmm this worked OK last time? [Please type UNDO, RESTORE, RESTART, or QUIT.] >restore OK. Interview Room A table stands directly in the middle of the room, bright white against the also bright white walls. You are standing next to it. The south wall (on the other side of the room) hosts an emergency exit, and next to it is a strange and (not to mention) quite badly-made painting. All of the other walls are plain. On the table is a bowl full of fruit, and beside the bowl a sporfe (intended to be used for consumption - not to commit suicide with, which is its general purpose), and the two mice: Benjy and Percy. >take fruit and sporfe TAKE FRUIT AND SPORFE piece of fruit: Taken. sporfe: Taken. >push button PUSH BUTTON (walking over to the emergency exit first) Suddenly, as you attempt to leave and push the emergency exit button, Percy swiftly grabs a Kill-O-Zap gun and fires a load of bullets at you. You surprisingly catch them all, a feat which you have never accomplished before, and you slide to the floor. Of course, you had to walk over to the door, and then push the button, all in one. So you had no chance. **** You have died **** Your score is 45 of a possible 400, in 37 turns. This gives you the rank of Earthman. Would you like to: UNDO your last action, RESTORE your place from where you saved it, RESTART the story from the beginning, or QUIT for now? >undo Interview Room [Undone.] >ask mice about painting ASK MICE ABOUT PAINTING "Well, it's a very old painting, and it's of our owner, ...." And they just keep talking. Blah blah blah. >push button PUSH BUTTON The emergency door slides open, but the mice don't notice yet as they are talking about the painting. "And the painter had another famous painting, ..." The talking goes on and on, and I don't think that they even remember you're still here. >s S You walk up to the door, and dash straight out of the room, through the Emergency Exit into another passage. An alarm starts blaring. Hallway This is a winding hallway, passages leading off to the west, east, and back into the "Interview" room to the north. [Your score has just gone up by twenty points.] Behind you, the sound of footsteps and people shouting echoes around the corridor. >w W Hallway You are still in a winding hallway, passages leading up a set of stairs, north, and east. Behind you, the sound of footsteps and people shouting echoes around the corridor. >u U Hallway You are still in a winding hallway, passages leading off to the west, east, and back into the "Interview" room to the north. Behind you, the sound of footsteps and people shouting echoes around the corridor. >w W Hallway You are still in a winding hallway, passages leading up a set of stairs, north, and east. Behind you, the sound of footsteps and people shouting echoes around the corridor. >n N Dead End This is a dead end. The only way out is down a set of stairs. Behind you, the sound of footsteps and people shouting echoes around the corridor. >d D Hallway You are still in a winding hallway, passages leading off to the west, east, and back into the "Interview" room to the north. Behind you, the sound of footsteps and people shouting echoes around the corridor. >e E Hallway You are still in a winding hallway, passages leading east, north and southeast. Behind you, the sound of footsteps and people shouting echoes around the corridor. >e E Dead End This is a dead end. The only way out is down a set of stairs. Behind you, the sound of footsteps and people shouting echoes around the corridor. >d D Hallway You are still in a winding hallway, passages leading off to the west, east, and back into the "Interview" room to the north. Behind you, the sound of footsteps and people shouting echoes around the corridor. >e E Hallway You are still in a winding hallway, passages leading east, north and southeast. Behind you, the sound of footsteps and people shouting echoes around the corridor. >se SE The Great Device This is the chamber of a great device named (appropriately) The Great Device. It looks like it should calculate something important, you just can't tell what. The only path leads east, back into the maze of hallways. However, it looks like you may be able to squeeze around the computer, to the northwest and southwest. Behind you, the sound of footsteps and people shouting echoes around the corridor. >sw SW Behind The Great Device There are a lot of loud noises all around you, coming from bullets, alarms, and the big hot computer behind you. Not your idea of a perfect holiday, then again, who said this was a holiday? Behind you, the sound of footsteps and people shouting echoes around the corridor. >z Z Time passes... Behind you, the sound of footsteps and people shouting echoes around the corridor. >z Z Time passes... Behind you, the sound of footsteps and people shouting echoes around the corridor. >x device X DEVICE That's not important; leave it alone. Suddenly, the computer you are hiding behind (which is called a hyperspatial field generator - in case you were wondering) explodes after having overheated during the past few turns. No-one knows exactly why it exploded, but they think it got scared of all the loud noises around it (Footnote 2). Anyway, that's not the point. The point is that you have just exploded. Everything becomes... Dark >l L Dark There's nothing you can taste, nothing you can see, nothing you can hear, nothing you can feel, nothing you can smell, you do not even know who you are. >who am i WHO AM I You can't hear anything, see anything, smell anything, feel anything, or taste anything, and do not even know where you are or who you are or how you got there. >z Z You can hear nothing, smell nothing, taste nothing, see nothing, feel nothing, and are not even certain who you are. >z Z You can hear nothing, smell nothing, taste nothing, see nothing, feel nothing, and are not even certain who you are. >z Z You can't hear anything, smell anything, feel anything, or taste anything, and do not even know where you are or who you are or how you got there. >l L It isn't that dark. As your eyes accustom to the newfound light, you notice the walls of the room you appear to be in. The walls are a grey-ish colour. In front of you, a large green blur looks at you disapprovingly. >x green X GREEN [You can't see any green right here.] >talk to blur TALK TO BLUR The blur clears its throat and comes into focus, appearing in the shape of a waiter, who then walks off into the distance. Odd. A bright light illuminates the room, showing you to be in... Reception This is the reception of Milliways, which has recently been polished clean. Here is a desk, and to the east is the car park. You can walk up a set of stairs to the Third Class. You can see a laminated menu here. >save SAVE OK. >i I You have: a sporfe a piece of fruit a small penknife The Hitchhiker's Guide a thing your aunt gave you which you don't know what it is your gown (being worn and open) a babel fish (in your ear) >* oh wait the guide * OH WAIT THE GUIDE [You don't need to use the word "*" to complete the game.] >consult guide about device CONSULT GUIDE ABOUT DEVICE The Guide checks through its Sub-Etha-Net database and eventually comes up with the following entry: That is one of the Great Unanswered Questions. For a list of the others, consult the Guide. >consult guide about great device CONSULT GUIDE ABOUT GREAT DEVICE [You can't see any great device right here.] >consult guide about painting CONSULT GUIDE ABOUT PAINTING [Which painting do you mean, the bad painting of some sort of mutant cat or the painting of a mouse?] >bad BAD [Which bad painting do you mean, the bad painting of some sort of mutant cat or the painting of a mouse?] >mouse MOUSE [I can't understand that many nouns with that verb.] >* oops * OOPS [The word "*" isn't in the vocabulary that you can use with me.] >consult guide about mice CONSULT GUIDE ABOUT MICE The Guide checks through its Sub-Etha-Net database and eventually comes up with the following entry: Mice are 6th-dimension beings who commonly take the form of a small furry rodent, so that they can pass inconspicuously by certain restrictions for high-tier races or threats. On the note of threat, mice are highly dangerous, and it is suggested you don't meet them unless you have a payload of money to give them or a death wish. >* eek * EEK [I guess I'll have to learn what "*" means. But for now, I don't.] >l L Reception This is the reception of Milliways, which has recently been polished clean. Here is a desk, and to the east is the car park. You can walk up a set of stairs to the Third Class. You can see a laminated menu here. >x desk X DESK You see nothing special about the table. >x menu X MENU MENU ... There is nothing left on it. Hmm. A first class idiot walks into the Reception, wielding a first class access card. >take manu TAKE MANU [I'm just a stupid computer. Please enlighten me with what "manu" means. No, actually, don't.] >oops menu OOPS MENU Your load is too heavy. The first class idiot leaves the Reception and walks into the Car Park, passing through exits with the first class access card in one hand and sipping sherry. >i I You have: a sporfe a piece of fruit a small penknife The Hitchhiker's Guide a thing your aunt gave you which you don't know what it is your gown (being worn and open) a babel fish (in your ear) A first class idiot walks into the Reception, wielding a first class access card. >* oh no * OH NO [I don't know the word "*".] >put all in pocket PUT ALL IN POCKET sporfe: OK. piece of fruit: OK. small penknife: OK. The Hitchhiker's Guide: There's not enough room. thing your aunt gave you which you don't know what it is: OK. babel fish: That would be foolish. Having a babel fish in your ear is terribly useful. The first class idiot leaves the Reception and walks into the Third Class, passing through exits with the first class access card in one hand and sipping sherry. >take menu TAKE MENU Taken. >e E The car park management computer denies access. "You don't have an access card." >u U Third Class This is the third class. To the northeast is the second class area, and you can also go down a set of steps. Right here, it is very dull, silent, and you can't see the explosion that is happening outside. You need to get through! The second class access door slides shut. >ne NE You can't - the door's closed. >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... The second-class access door slides open. A first class idiot walks into the Third Class, wielding a first class access card. >ne NE You sneak through into the second class area. Dining Hall You can go southwest (to the Third Class area), southeast (to the kitchen), east (although there is a door stating "NO ENTRY") and north leads to the first class. There is a first class idiot here, sipping sherry. You can see Ford here, laughing with Trillian and Zaphod. All of them are drunk. Ford's satchel is here. The first class idiot leaves the Dining Hall and walks into the Third Class, passing through exits with the first class access card in one hand and sipping sherry. >save SAVE OK. >* OK! * OK! [You may know what "*" means, but I don't.] >x ford X FORD You see nothing special about Ford. >* really? * REALLY? [You don't need to use the word "*" to complete the game.] >x zaphod X ZAPHOD You see nothing special about Zaphod. The third class access door slides shut. >x trillian X TRILLIAN You see nothing special about Trillian. >trillian, hello TRILLIAN, HELLO Trillian smiles disinterestedly and looks away. >ask trillian about me ASK TRILLIAN ABOUT ME "You're Arthur Dent, the next-to-last Earthling." A long silence tells you that Trillian isn't interested in talking about you. Not many people are. The second-class access door slides open. A first class idiot walks into the Dining Hall, wielding a first class access card. >ask trillian about herself ASK TRILLIAN ABOUT HERSELF A long silence tells you that Trillian isn't interested in talking about herself. The first class idiot leaves the Dining Hall and walks into the First Class, passing through exits with the first class access card in one hand and sipping sherry. >ask trillian about zaphod ASK TRILLIAN ABOUT ZAPHOD A long silence tells you that Trillian isn't interested in talking about him. The third class access door slides shut. >* how did they get here? * HOW DID THEY GET HERE? [The word "*" isn't in the vocabulary that you can use with me.] >ask trillian about milliways ASK TRILLIAN ABOUT MILLIWAYS She shrugs. A long silence tells you that Trillian isn't interested in talking about that. >ask trillian about ford ASK TRILLIAN ABOUT FORD A long silence tells you that Trillian isn't interested in talking about him. A first class idiot walks into the Dining Hall, wielding a first class access card. >ask ford about ford ASK FORD ABOUT FORD A long silence tells you that Ford isn't interested in talking about himself. The first class idiot leaves the Dining Hall and walks into the Third Class, passing through exits with the first class access card in one hand and sipping sherry. >ask ford about trillian ASK FORD ABOUT TRILLIAN A long silence tells you that Ford isn't interested in talking about her. >ask ford about me ASK FORD ABOUT ME "You're Arthur Dent, the next-to-last Earthling." A long silence tells you that Ford isn't interested in talking about you. Not many people are. The third class access door slides shut. >* er do they all have the same dialogue? * ER DO THEY ALL HAVE THE SAME DIALOGUE? [I guess I'll have to learn what "*" means. But for now, I don't.] >l L Dining Hall You can go southwest (to the Third Class area), southeast (to the kitchen), east (although there is a door stating "NO ENTRY") and north leads to the first class. You can see Ford here, laughing with Trillian and Zaphod. All of them are drunk. Ford's satchel is here. >x satchel X SATCHEL The satchel, which is closed, is fairly bulky. >take it TAKE IT Your load is too heavy. The second-class access door slides open. A first class idiot walks into the Dining Hall, wielding a first class access card. >openit OPENIT [I'm just a stupid computer. Please enlighten me with what "openit" means. No, actually, don't.] >open satchel OPEN SATCHEL You open Ford's satchel and see: Santraginean Mineral Water a towel The first class idiot leaves the Dining Hall and walks into the First Class, passing through exits with the first class access card in one hand and sipping sherry. >x water X WATER You see nothing special about Santraginean Mineral Water. The people are beginning to become wary of the Santraginean Mineral Water in Ford's satchel. The third class access door slides shut. >close satchel CLOSE SATCHEL Closed. >consult guide about water CONSULT GUIDE ABOUT WATER There isn't any water here! A first class idiot walks into the Dining Hall, wielding a first class access card. >open satchel OPEN SATCHEL You open Ford's satchel and see: Santraginean Mineral Water a towel The first class idiot leaves the Dining Hall and walks into the Third Class, passing through exits with the first class access card in one hand and sipping sherry. >consult guide about water CONSULT GUIDE ABOUT WATER The Guide checks through its Sub-Etha-Net database and eventually comes up with the following entry: A strong body of opinion holds that this is not water at all, despite the claims on the label about how pure the spring is, and all that tosh about sparkling babbling brooks and so on. There is something highly suspect about the water on Santraginus Five, as anyone who's ever met any of their fish will tell you. Santragiean Mineral Water is also highly ILLEGAL, so if you have some in your possession, make sure you KEEP it on you. The people are beginning to become wary of the Santraginean Mineral Water in Ford's satchel. >close satchel CLOSE SATCHEL Closed. The third class access door slides shut. >i I You have: a laminated menu The Hitchhiker's Guide your gown (being worn and open) It looks like the pocket holds: a thing your aunt gave you which you don't know what it is a small penknife a piece of fruit a sporfe a babel fish (in your ear) >drop all DROP ALL laminated menu: Dropped. The Hitchhiker's Guide: Dropped. your gown: You'll have to remove it first. babel fish: That would be foolish. Having a babel fish in your ear is terribly useful. >take satchel TAKE SATCHEL Taken. The second-class access door slides open. A first class idiot walks into the Dining Hall, wielding a first class access card. >take all TAKE ALL first class access card: "Don't touch me," the idiot spits. The Hitchhiker's Guide: Your load is too heavy. laminated menu: Taken. The first class idiot leaves the Dining Hall and walks into the First Class, passing through exits with the first class access card in one hand and sipping sherry. >put all in satchel PUT ALL IN SATCHEL laminated menu: (opening Ford's satchel first) It looks like Ford's satchel contains: Santraginean Mineral Water a towel OK. babel fish: That would be foolish. Having a babel fish in your ear is terribly useful. your gown: You'll have to remove it first. The third class access door slides shut. >l L Dining Hall You can go southwest (to the Third Class area), southeast (to the kitchen), east (although there is a door stating "NO ENTRY") and north leads to the first class. There is a copy of The Hitchhiker's Guide here. You can see Ford here, laughing with Trillian and Zaphod. All of them are drunk. >take guide TAKE GUIDE Your load is too heavy. A first class idiot walks into the Dining Hall, wielding a first class access card. >* aww * AWW [I don't know the word "*".] >i I You have: Ford's satchel (open) It looks like Ford's satchel contains: a laminated menu Santraginean Mineral Water a towel a babel fish (in your ear) your gown (being worn and open) It looks like the pocket holds: a thing your aunt gave you which you don't know what it is a small penknife a piece of fruit a sporfe The first class idiot leaves the Dining Hall and walks into the Third Class, passing through exits with the first class access card in one hand and sipping sherry. >dropmenu DROPMENU [You may know what "dropmenu" means, but I don't.] >drop menu DROP MENU Dropped. >take guide TAKE GUIDE Your load is too heavy. The third class access door slides shut. >* Ugh guess this is where the cruelty comes in * UGH GUESS THIS IS WHERE THE CRUELTY COMES IN [You don't need to use the word "*" to complete the game.] >take water TAKE WATER Taken. >l L Dining Hall You can go southwest (to the Third Class area), southeast (to the kitchen), east (although there is a door stating "NO ENTRY") and north leads to the first class. There is a copy of The Hitchhiker's Guide here. You can see Ford here, laughing with Trillian and Zaphod. All of them are drunk. You can see a laminated menu here. >se SE Just as you are about to step inside... "Hold on a minute!" shouts a voice. "Where's your dishcloth?" says the head cook, stepping out from behind an assortment of pots and pans. "Go back and get it!" and promptly throws you out of the kitchen. The second-class access door slides open. A first class idiot walks into the Dining Hall, wielding a first class access card. >take towel TAKE TOWEL Your load is too heavy. The first class idiot leaves the Dining Hall and walks into the First Class, passing through exits with the first class access card in one hand and sipping sherry. >i I You have: Santraginean Mineral Water Ford's satchel (open) It looks like Ford's satchel contains: a towel a babel fish (in your ear) your gown (being worn and open) It looks like the pocket holds: a thing your aunt gave you which you don't know what it is a small penknife a piece of fruit a sporfe The third class access door slides shut. >put water in satchel PUT WATER IN SATCHEL OK. >take towel TAKE TOWEL Taken. A first class idiot walks into the Dining Hall, wielding a first class access card. >se SE Kitchen The kitchen is bustling with pots, pans, dishes, a small sink and hundreds upon hundreds of cupboards, which line the wall. The only exit is to the northwest. The head chef is glaring at you. A cupboard door opens. >x cupboards X CUPBOARDS Rows of complex cupboards, hundreds lining the wall. The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens, revealing a rum glass. >x rum X RUM It's empty. The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens, revealing a bottle of Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster. >take blaster TAKE BLASTER The cupboard seems unimpressed, guiding your hand away so you grasp empty air. "You can't replace it, can you?" The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens, revealing a pot of burgundy food dye. >z Z Time passes... The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens, revealing a bottle of Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster. >put water in cupboard PUT WATER IN CUPBOARD As you place Santraginean Mineral Water inside the open cupboard, a voice says "Ooh! Is that Santraginean Mineral Water? Thank you..." And the cupboard swallows the object, briefly distracted from its opening-and-closing door business as it decides just where to place Santraginean Mineral Water, which disappears behind miles of shelves. Behind you, the chef chuckles to himself. "You're never getting that back, you know." >take blaster TAKE BLASTER Your load is too heavy. >undo UNDO Kitchen [Undone.] >drop all DROP ALL towel: Dropped. Ford's satchel: Dropped. babel fish: That would be foolish. Having a babel fish in your ear is terribly useful. your gown: You'll have to remove it first. >take blaster TAKE BLASTER Taken. The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens, revealing a wine glass. >take all TAKE ALL Ford's satchel: Your load is too heavy. towel: Taken. wine glass: The cupboard seems unimpressed, guiding your hand away so you grasp empty air. "You can't replace it, can you?" The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens. >l L Kitchen The kitchen is bustling with pots, pans, dishes, a small sink and hundreds upon hundreds of cupboards, which line the wall. The only exit is to the northwest. The head chef is glaring at you. The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens, revealing a heatproof tray. >take tray TAKE TRAY The cupboard seems unimpressed, guiding your hand away so you grasp empty air. "You can't replace it, can you?" The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens, revealing a rum glass. >* Oh wait another potentially cruel area * OH WAIT ANOTHER POTENTIALLY CRUEL AREA [The word "*" isn't in the vocabulary that you can use with me.] >i I You have: a towel a bottle of Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster a babel fish (in your ear) your gown (being worn and open) It looks like the pocket holds: a thing your aunt gave you which you don't know what it is a small penknife a piece of fruit a sporfe The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens, revealing a wine glass. >n N You can't go that way. The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens, revealing a pot of burgundy food dye. >nw NW Dining Hall You can go southwest (to the Third Class area), southeast (to the kitchen), east (although there is a door stating "NO ENTRY") and north leads to the first class. There is a copy of The Hitchhiker's Guide here. There is a first class idiot here, sipping sherry. You can see Ford here, laughing with Trillian and Zaphod. All of them are drunk. Ford's satchel is here. There is nothing inside of Ford's satchel. You can see a laminated menu here. The first class idiot leaves the Dining Hall and walks into the Third Class, passing through exits with the first class access card in one hand and sipping sherry. >i I You have: a towel a bottle of Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster a babel fish (in your ear) your gown (being worn and open) It looks like the pocket holds: a thing your aunt gave you which you don't know what it is a small penknife a piece of fruit a sporfe >x blaster X BLASTER It looks like water, but is a much more volatile liquid. The third class access door slides shut. >consult guide about blaster CONSULT GUIDE ABOUT BLASTER The Guide checks through its Sub-Etha-Net database and eventually comes up with the following entry: The best drink in existence; somewhat like having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped around a large gold brick. It also says that drinking some of the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster and surviving the shock apparently makes you wiser, but you're not sure how true that can be - Zaphod Beeblebrox has a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster as a morning routine. >drink blaster DRINK BLASTER Are you stupid? What, just drink something like that? No thanks. >z Z Time passes... The second-class access door slides open. A first class idiot walks into the Dining Hall, wielding a first class access card. >give blaster to idiot GIVE BLASTER TO IDIOT The first class idiot looks annoyed. "Can't you see I'm doing something right now?" The first class idiot leaves the Dining Hall and walks into the First Class, passing through exits with the first class access card in one hand and sipping sherry. >* hm * HM [I guess I'll have to learn what "*" means. But for now, I don't.] >* maybe wait until he comes out with an empty glass? * MAYBE WAIT UNTIL HE COMES OUT WITH AN EMPTY GLASS? [I'm just a stupid computer. Please enlighten me with what "*" means. No, actually, don't.] >z Z Time passes... The third class access door slides shut. >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... A first class idiot walks into the Dining Hall, wielding a first class access card. >x idiot X IDIOT A snobbish idiot, sipping sherry and staring at you disdainfully. The first class idiot leaves the Dining Hall and walks into the Third Class, passing through exits with the first class access card in one hand and sipping sherry. >sw SW You walk back into the Third Class. Third Class To the northeast is the second class area, and you can also go down a set of steps. There is a first class idiot here, sipping sherry. The first class idiot leaves the Third Class and walks into the Reception, passing through exits with the first class access card in one hand and sipping sherry. >d D Reception This is the reception of Milliways, which has recently been polished clean. Here is a desk, and to the east is the car park. You can walk up a set of stairs to the Third Class. There is a first class idiot here, sipping sherry. The first class idiot leaves the Reception and walks into the Car Park, passing through exits with the first class access card in one hand and sipping sherry. >e E The car park management computer denies access. "You don't have an access card." A first class idiot walks into the Reception, wielding a first class access card. >x idiot X IDIOT A snobbish idiot, sipping sherry and staring at you disdainfully. The first class idiot leaves the Reception and walks into the Third Class, passing through exits with the first class access card in one hand and sipping sherry. >u U Third Class To the northeast is the second class area, and you can also go down a set of steps. There is a first class idiot here, sipping sherry. The first class idiot leaves the Third Class and walks into the Dining Hall, passing through exits with the first class access card in one hand and sipping sherry. >ne NE You sneak through into the second class area. Dining Hall You can go southwest (to the Third Class area), southeast (to the kitchen), east (although there is a door stating "NO ENTRY") and north leads to the first class. There is a copy of The Hitchhiker's Guide here. There is a first class idiot here, sipping sherry. You can see Ford here, laughing with Trillian and Zaphod. All of them are drunk. Ford's satchel is here. There is nothing inside of Ford's satchel. You can see a laminated menu here. The first class idiot leaves the Dining Hall and walks into the First Class, passing through exits with the first class access card in one hand and sipping sherry. >e E The computer denies your access, stating that your name is not on Max Quordlepleen's special card, nor is your name on his dressing room access register. The third class access door slides shut. >* hmm not sure if that's something I should be trying to sol * HMM NOT SURE IF THAT'S SOMETHING I SHOULD BE TRYING TO SOL [I don't know the word "*".] >s S You can't go that way. >se SE Kitchen The kitchen is bustling with pots, pans, dishes, a small sink and hundreds upon hundreds of cupboards, which line the wall. The only exit is to the northwest. The head chef is glaring at you. The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens, revealing a rum glass. >x glass X GLASS It's empty. The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens. >l L Kitchen The kitchen is bustling with pots, pans, dishes, a small sink and hundreds upon hundreds of cupboards, which line the wall. The only exit is to the northwest. The head chef is glaring at you. The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens, revealing a rum glass. >askc chef about idiot ASKC CHEF ABOUT IDIOT [You may know what "askc" means, but I don't.] >ask chef about idiot ASK CHEF ABOUT IDIOT A long silence tells you that the head chef isn't interested in talking about the first class idiot. The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens. >ask chef about cupbaord ASK CHEF ABOUT CUPBAORD [You don't need to use the word "cupbaord" to complete the game.] >ask chef about cupboard ASK CHEF ABOUT CUPBOARD "Oh, that's a nasty little thing," he whispers, taking a glance at it. "It keeps all our stuff, and only accepts trades. But you don't know how much much stuff of mine it has lost. My trick? You give it something, and then quickly take whatever it has in store - doesn't matter what it is, just take it while the cupboard's distracted. It's a wonder that we're able to cook as much food as we do with such tight limitations." The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens. >l L Kitchen The kitchen is bustling with pots, pans, dishes, a small sink and hundreds upon hundreds of cupboards, which line the wall. The only exit is to the northwest. The head chef is glaring at you. The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens, revealing a wine glass. >x wine X WINE [You can't see any wine right here.] >take wine glass TAKE WINE GLASS The cupboard seems unimpressed, guiding your hand away so you grasp empty air. "You can't replace it, can you?" The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens, revealing a pot of burgundy food dye. >x dye X DYE It is a liquid food dye. The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens. >l L Kitchen The kitchen is bustling with pots, pans, dishes, a small sink and hundreds upon hundreds of cupboards, which line the wall. The only exit is to the northwest. The head chef is glaring at you. The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens, revealing a heatproof tray. >x tray X TRAY The tray is meant to withstand temperatures up to about 5 hundred thousand degrees celsius, so it is also used as a quick tray for cooking stuff on. The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens. >l L Kitchen The kitchen is bustling with pots, pans, dishes, a small sink and hundreds upon hundreds of cupboards, which line the wall. The only exit is to the northwest. The head chef is glaring at you. The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens. >l L Kitchen The kitchen is bustling with pots, pans, dishes, a small sink and hundreds upon hundreds of cupboards, which line the wall. The only exit is to the northwest. The head chef is glaring at you. The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens. >l L Kitchen The kitchen is bustling with pots, pans, dishes, a small sink and hundreds upon hundreds of cupboards, which line the wall. The only exit is to the northwest. The head chef is glaring at you. The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens, revealing a rum glass. >l L Kitchen The kitchen is bustling with pots, pans, dishes, a small sink and hundreds upon hundreds of cupboards, which line the wall. One of them is open, and inside that cupboard is a rum glass. The only exit is to the northwest. The head chef is glaring at you. The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens, revealing a pot of burgundy food dye. >l L Kitchen The kitchen is bustling with pots, pans, dishes, a small sink and hundreds upon hundreds of cupboards, which line the wall. The only exit is to the northwest. The head chef is glaring at you. The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens, revealing a heatproof tray. >l L Kitchen The kitchen is bustling with pots, pans, dishes, a small sink and hundreds upon hundreds of cupboards, which line the wall. The only exit is to the northwest. The head chef is glaring at you. The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens. >l L Kitchen The kitchen is bustling with pots, pans, dishes, a small sink and hundreds upon hundreds of cupboards, which line the wall. The only exit is to the northwest. The head chef is glaring at you. The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens, revealing a rum glass. >nw NW Dining Hall You can go southwest (to the Third Class area), southeast (to the kitchen), east (although there is a door stating "NO ENTRY") and north leads to the first class. There is a copy of The Hitchhiker's Guide here. There is a first class idiot here, sipping sherry. You can see Ford here, laughing with Trillian and Zaphod. All of them are drunk. Ford's satchel is here. There is nothing inside of Ford's satchel. You can see a laminated menu here. The first class idiot leaves the Dining Hall and walks into the First Class, passing through exits with the first class access card in one hand and sipping sherry. >x sherry X SHERRY [The word "sherry" isn't in the vocabulary that you can use with me.] >z Z Time passes... The third class access door slides shut. >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... A first class idiot walks into the Dining Hall, wielding a first class access card. >x sherry X SHERRY [I guess I'll have to learn what "sherry" means. But for now, I don't.] >x idiot X IDIOT A snobbish idiot, sipping sherry and staring at you disdainfully. The first class idiot leaves the Dining Hall and walks into the Third Class, passing through exits with the first class access card in one hand and sipping sherry. >x glass X GLASS [You can't see any glass right here.] >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... The third class access door slides shut. >i I You have: a towel a bottle of Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster a babel fish (in your ear) your gown (being worn and open) It looks like the pocket holds: a thing your aunt gave you which you don't know what it is a small penknife a piece of fruit a sporfe >x blaster X BLASTER It looks like water, but is a much more volatile liquid. >x sporfe X SPORFE It looks like a sporfe. What else is there to say? The second-class access door slides open. A first class idiot walks into the Dining Hall, wielding a first class access card. >consult guide about sporfe CONSULT GUIDE ABOUT SPORFE The Guide checks through its Sub-Etha-Net database and eventually comes up with the following entry: A sporfe, in a sentence, is a spork (which is a spoon with prongs) and a serrated (but very sharp) knife blade on the end of the handle. Generally, these are used as subtle murder devices, as you can hand it as a gift to someone who has no idea what it is actually used for, and the next time they use it, they would inadvertently die a very sad and messy death. It is said to have been the highest cause of death for the first few weeks after it was invented. In short, don't own one of these if you're happy with your life the way it is. The first class idiot leaves the Dining Hall and walks into the First Class, passing through exits with the first class access card in one hand and sipping sherry. >i I You have: a towel a bottle of Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster a babel fish (in your ear) your gown (being worn and open) It looks like the pocket holds: a thing your aunt gave you which you don't know what it is a small penknife a piece of fruit a sporfe The third class access door slides shut. >cut fruit with sporfe CUT FRUIT WITH SPORFE You can't be serious. >x blaster X BLASTER It looks like water, but is a much more volatile liquid. >drop blaster DROP BLASTER Dropped. A first class idiot walks into the Dining Hall, wielding a first class access card. >take satchel TAKE SATCHEL Taken. The first class idiot leaves the Dining Hall and walks into the Third Class, passing through exits with the first class access card in one hand and sipping sherry. >se SE Kitchen The kitchen is bustling with pots, pans, dishes, a small sink and hundreds upon hundreds of cupboards, which line the wall. One of them is open, and inside that cupboard is a rum glass. The only exit is to the northwest. The head chef is glaring at you. The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens, revealing a pot of burgundy food dye. >put satchel in cupboard PUT SATCHEL IN CUPBOARD As you place Ford's satchel inside the open cupboard, a voice says "Ooh! Is that Ford's satchel? Thank you..." And the cupboard swallows the object, briefly distracted from its opening-and-closing door business as it decides just where to place Ford's satchel, which disappears behind miles of shelves. Behind you, the chef chuckles to himself. "You're never getting that back, you know." >take dye TAKE DYE Taken. >* hopefully that's OK? * HOPEFULLY THAT'S OK? [I'm just a stupid computer. Please enlighten me with what "*" means. No, actually, don't.] >nw NW Dining Hall You can go southwest (to the Third Class area), southeast (to the kitchen), east (although there is a door stating "NO ENTRY") and north leads to the first class. You can see a bottle with some Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster here. There is a copy of The Hitchhiker's Guide here. There is a first class idiot here, sipping sherry. You can see Ford here, laughing with Trillian and Zaphod. All of them are drunk. You can see a laminated menu here. The first class idiot leaves the Dining Hall and walks into the First Class, passing through exits with the first class access card in one hand and sipping sherry. >put dye in bottle PUT DYE IN BOTTLE You search for an opening in the bottle of Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster but find none. >open bottle OPEN BOTTLE It has been designed to do worthless commands like that for you. >* urm * URM [I don't know the word "*".] >* maybe put in glass? * MAYBE PUT IN GLASS? [You may know what "*" means, but I don't.] >se SE Kitchen The kitchen is bustling with pots, pans, dishes, a small sink and hundreds upon hundreds of cupboards, which line the wall. The only exit is to the northwest. The head chef is glaring at you. The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens, revealing a wine glass. >i I You have: a pot of burgundy food dye a towel a babel fish (in your ear) your gown (being worn and open) It looks like the pocket holds: a thing your aunt gave you which you don't know what it is a small penknife a piece of fruit a sporfe The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens, revealing a rum glass. >undo UNDO Kitchen [Undone.] >* erm I guess the fruit isn't needed? * ERM I GUESS THE FRUIT ISN'T NEEDED? [You don't need to use the word "*" to complete the game.] >put fruit in cupbord PUT FRUIT IN CUPBORD [The word "cupbord" isn't in the vocabulary that you can use with me.] >put fruit in cupboard PUT FRUIT IN CUPBOARD As you place the piece of fruit inside the open cupboard, a voice says "Ooh! Is that a piece of fruit? Thank you..." And the cupboard swallows the object, briefly distracted from its opening-and-closing door business as it decides just where to place the piece of fruit, which disappears behind miles of shelves. Behind you, the chef chuckles to himself. "You're never getting that back, you know." >take glass TAKE GLASS Taken. >nw NW Dining Hall You can go southwest (to the Third Class area), southeast (to the kitchen), east (although there is a door stating "NO ENTRY") and north leads to the first class. You can see a bottle with some Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster here. There is a copy of The Hitchhiker's Guide here. There is a first class idiot here, sipping sherry. You can see Ford here, laughing with Trillian and Zaphod. All of them are drunk. You can see a laminated menu here. The third class access door slides shut. The first class idiot leaves the Dining Hall and walks into the Third Class, passing through exits with the first class access card in one hand and sipping sherry. >* oh I could have just used the menu probably * OH I COULD HAVE JUST USED THE MENU PROBABLY [I guess I'll have to learn what "*" means. But for now, I don't.] >undo UNDO Kitchen [Undone.] >undo UNDO Kitchen [Undone.] >undo UNDO Kitchen [Undone.] >undo UNDO Dining Hall [Undone.] >take menu TAKE MENU Taken. A first class idiot walks into the Dining Hall, wielding a first class access card. >se SE Kitchen The kitchen is bustling with pots, pans, dishes, a small sink and hundreds upon hundreds of cupboards, which line the wall. The only exit is to the northwest. The head chef is glaring at you. The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens. >i I You have: a laminated menu a pot of burgundy food dye a towel a babel fish (in your ear) your gown (being worn and open) It looks like the pocket holds: a thing your aunt gave you which you don't know what it is a small penknife a piece of fruit a sporfe The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens, revealing a wine glass. >put menu in cupboard PUT MENU IN CUPBOARD As you place the laminated menu inside the open cupboard, a voice says "Ooh! Is that a laminated menu? Thank you..." And the cupboard swallows the object, briefly distracted from its opening-and-closing door business as it decides just where to place the laminated menu, which disappears behind miles of shelves. Behind you, the chef chuckles to himself. "You're never getting that back, you know." >takewine glass TAKEWINE GLASS [You don't need to use the word "takewine" to complete the game.] >take wine glass TAKE WINE GLASS Taken. >nw NW Dining Hall You can go southwest (to the Third Class area), southeast (to the kitchen), east (although there is a door stating "NO ENTRY") and north leads to the first class. You can see a bottle with some Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster here. There is a copy of The Hitchhiker's Guide here. There is a first class idiot here, sipping sherry. You can see Ford here, laughing with Trillian and Zaphod. All of them are drunk. The first class idiot leaves the Dining Hall and walks into the First Class, passing through exits with the first class access card in one hand and sipping sherry. >put blaster in glass PUT BLASTER IN GLASS You aren't holding the bottle of Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster! >take blaster TAKE BLASTER Taken. >put blaster in glass PUT BLASTER IN GLASS You pour some Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster in the glass. A first class idiot walks into the Dining Hall, wielding a first class access card. >put dye in glass PUT DYE IN GLASS You pour some dye in the glass. The first class idiot leaves the Dining Hall and walks into the Third Class, passing through exits with the first class access card in one hand and sipping sherry. >x glass X GLASS It has got a mix of Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster and red dye inside it. >z Z Time passes... The third class access door slides shut. >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... > [I beg your pardon?] >z Z Time passes... The second-class access door slides open. A first class idiot walks into the Dining Hall, wielding a first class access card. >give glass to idiot GIVE GLASS TO IDIOT The first class idiot looks annoyed. "Can't you see I'm doing something right now?" The first class idiot leaves the Dining Hall and walks into the First Class, passing through exits with the first class access card in one hand and sipping sherry. >* oi * OI [The word "*" isn't in the vocabulary that you can use with me.] >drink glass DRINK GLASS You can't do that to the wine glass! >drink DRINK [What do you want to drink?] >blaster BLASTER [In other words: drink blaster] Are you stupid? What, just drink something like that? No thanks. The third class access door slides shut. >l L Dining Hall You can go southwest (to the Third Class area), southeast (to the kitchen), east (although there is a door stating "NO ENTRY") and north leads to the first class. There is a copy of The Hitchhiker's Guide here. You can see Ford here, laughing with Trillian and Zaphod. All of them are drunk. >hint HINT [Warning: It is recognized that the temptation for help may at times be so exceedingly strong that you might fetch hints prematurely. Therefore, if you would like to disallow yourself to have hints from now on, then you may type HINTS OFF. If you still want a hint now, or if you are a beginner and are looking at the General Commands, indicate HINT.] >hint HINT Back to the story... Dining Hall You can go southwest (to the Third Class area), southeast (to the kitchen), east (although there is a door stating "NO ENTRY") and north leads to the first class. There is a copy of The Hitchhiker's Guide here. You can see Ford here, laughing with Trillian and Zaphod. All of them are drunk. >* interesting list of places! * INTERESTING LIST OF PLACES! [I guess I'll have to learn what "*" means. But for now, I don't.] >hint HINT How do I knock the first class idiot out? 16> After you've done that, you need to think (obviously). What can you use? 15> Well, if you need to, you can ask the Guide about some of the objects there. 14> You should read up on Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters if you haven't already. 13> It says that it can knock someone out. 12> And make you wise if you survive. 11> But you can't drink it. (Your brain tells you not to.) 10> So, try giving it to the idiot. 9> Nope, not working. 8> Have you noticed some glasses in the cupboard? 7> Try pouring the Blaster into a glass. 6> Did you use the rum glass? 5> If so, you'll realise that that's not proper waiter-behaviour. 4> You must use the wine glass. 3> (So you don't waste objects, you can always place the rum glass in to get the wine glass.) 2> Try it now. 1> Then go to GETTING THE ACCESS CARD if you really don't understand. [That's all.] Back to the story... Dining Hall You can go southwest (to the Third Class area), southeast (to the kitchen), east (although there is a door stating "NO ENTRY") and north leads to the first class. There is a copy of The Hitchhiker's Guide here. You can see Ford here, laughing with Trillian and Zaphod. All of them are drunk. >* oh if I'm impersonating a waiter do I need the tray too? * OH IF I'M IMPERSONATING A WAITER DO I NEED THE TRAY TOO? [I'm just a stupid computer. Please enlighten me with what "*" means. No, actually, don't.] >* Guess I'm losing that fruit after all * GUESS I'M LOSING THAT FRUIT AFTER ALL [I don't know the word "*".] >i I You have: a bottle of Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster a wine glass It looks like the wine glass contains: a quantity of dye a quantity of pan galactic gargle blaster a pot of burgundy food dye a towel a babel fish (in your ear) your gown (being worn and open) It looks like the pocket holds: a thing your aunt gave you which you don't know what it is a small penknife a piece of fruit a sporfe A first class idiot walks into the Dining Hall, wielding a first class access card. >* or maybe I can give back the bottle? * OR MAYBE I CAN GIVE BACK THE BOTTLE? [You may know what "*" means, but I don't.] >se SE Kitchen The kitchen is bustling with pots, pans, dishes, a small sink and hundreds upon hundreds of cupboards, which line the wall. The only exit is to the northwest. The head chef is glaring at you. The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens, revealing a rum glass. >z Z Time passes... The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens. >z Z Time passes... The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens. >z Z Time passes... The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens, revealing a rum glass. >z Z Time passes... The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens. >z Z Time passes... The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens, revealing a rum glass. >z Z Time passes... The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens. >z Z Time passes... The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens. >z Z Time passes... The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens, revealing a rum glass. >z Z Time passes... The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens. >z Z Time passes... The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens, revealing a rum glass. >z Z Time passes... The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens. >z Z Time passes... The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens. >z Z Time passes... The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens, revealing a heatproof tray. >put bottle in cupboard PUT BOTTLE IN CUPBOARD As you place the bottle of Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster inside the open cupboard, a voice says "Ooh! Is that a bottle of Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster? Thank you..." And the cupboard swallows the object, briefly distracted from its opening-and-closing door business as it decides just where to place the bottle of Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster, which disappears behind miles of shelves. Behind you, the chef chuckles to himself. "You're never getting that back, you know." >take tray TAKE TRAY Taken. >put glass on tray PUT GLASS ON TRAY I rather wouldn't put that on the tray. The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens, revealing a rum glass. >nw NW Dining Hall You can go southwest (to the Third Class area), southeast (to the kitchen), east (although there is a door stating "NO ENTRY") and north leads to the first class. There is a copy of The Hitchhiker's Guide here. There is a first class idiot here, sipping sherry. You can see Ford here, laughing with Trillian and Zaphod. All of them are drunk. The third class access door slides shut. The first class idiot leaves the Dining Hall and walks into the First Class, passing through exits with the first class access card in one hand and sipping sherry. >x tray X TRAY The tray is meant to withstand temperatures up to about 5 hundred thousand degrees celsius, so it is also used as a quick tray for cooking stuff on. >put glass on tray PUT GLASS ON TRAY I rather wouldn't put that on the tray. >* hrm * HRM [You don't need to use the word "*" to complete the game.] >hint HINT Getting the first-class access card 8> If you started off from the first-class idiot (continued), then you should be fine. Otherwise, try reading that first. 7> The Blaster isn't working. He won't accept it. 6> Have you noticed the red dye? 5> The idiot drinks the dye - no problem - if you just give him it in a glass. 4> You know why if you try it. 3> But... 2> If you pour the two in the same glass, the idiot will think it's wine (Blaster is clear), and he will drink it. 1> There you go. [That's all.] Back to the story... Dining Hall You can go southwest (to the Third Class area), southeast (to the kitchen), east (although there is a door stating "NO ENTRY") and north leads to the first class. There is a copy of The Hitchhiker's Guide here. You can see Ford here, laughing with Trillian and Zaphod. All of them are drunk. >i I You have: a heatproof tray a wine glass It looks like the wine glass contains: a quantity of dye a quantity of pan galactic gargle blaster a pot of burgundy food dye a towel a babel fish (in your ear) your gown (being worn and open) It looks like the pocket holds: a thing your aunt gave you which you don't know what it is a small penknife a piece of fruit a sporfe A first class idiot walks into the Dining Hall, wielding a first class access card. >x glass X GLASS It has got a mix of Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster and red dye inside it. The first class idiot leaves the Dining Hall and walks into the Third Class, passing through exits with the first class access card in one hand and sipping sherry. >mix glss MIX GLSS [The word "glss" isn't in the vocabulary that you can use with me.] >mix glass MIX GLASS No, no thanks. I'd rather not waste what's in the glass. >stip glass STIP GLASS [I guess I'll have to learn what "stip" means. But for now, I don't.] >stir glass STIR GLASS [I'm just a stupid computer. Please enlighten me with what "stir" means. No, actually, don't.] >* I think I solved the puzzle? * I THINK I SOLVED THE PUZZLE? [I don't know the word "*".] >l L Dining Hall You can go southwest (to the Third Class area), southeast (to the kitchen), east (although there is a door stating "NO ENTRY") and north leads to the first class. There is a copy of The Hitchhiker's Guide here. You can see Ford here, laughing with Trillian and Zaphod. All of them are drunk. The third class access door slides shut. >drink glss DRINK GLSS [You may know what "glss" means, but I don't.] >x glass X GLASS It has got a mix of Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster and red dye inside it. >i I You have: a heatproof tray a wine glass It looks like the wine glass contains: a quantity of dye a quantity of pan galactic gargle blaster a pot of burgundy food dye a towel a babel fish (in your ear) your gown (being worn and open) It looks like the pocket holds: a thing your aunt gave you which you don't know what it is a small penknife a piece of fruit a sporfe >give glass GIVE GLASS [What do you want to give the wine glass?] >idiot IDIOT [In other words: give glass idiot] [You can't see any glass idiot right here.] >z Z Time passes... The second-class access door slides open. A first class idiot walks into the Dining Hall, wielding a first class access card. >give glass to idiot GIVE GLASS TO IDIOT The first class idiot looks annoyed. "Can't you see I'm doing something right now?" The first class idiot leaves the Dining Hall and walks into the First Class, passing through exits with the first class access card in one hand and sipping sherry. >* erm * ERM [You don't need to use the word "*" to complete the game.] >* Walkthrough? * WALKTHROUGH? [The word "*" isn't in the vocabulary that you can use with me.] >nw NW You can't go that way. The third class access door slides shut. >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... A first class idiot walks into the Dining Hall, wielding a first class access card. >give blaster to idiot GIVE BLASTER TO IDIOT The first class idiot looks annoyed. "Can't you see I'm doing something right now?" The first class idiot leaves the Dining Hall and walks into the Third Class, passing through exits with the first class access card in one hand and sipping sherry. >* did the order matter? * DID THE ORDER MATTER? [I guess I'll have to learn what "*" means. But for now, I don't.] >* also apparently the thing is the carryall? Guess if you p * ALSO APPARENTLY THE THING IS THE CARRYALL? GUESS IF YOU P [I'm just a stupid computer. Please enlighten me with what "*" means. No, actually, don't.] >restore RESTORE OK. Reception This is the reception of Milliways, which has recently been polished clean. Here is a desk, and to the east is the car park. You can walk up a set of stairs to the Third Class. You can see a laminated menu here. >take menu TAKE MENU Your load is too heavy. >u U Third Class This is the third class. To the northeast is the second class area, and you can also go down a set of steps. Right here, it is very dull, silent, and you can't see the explosion that is happening outside. You need to get through! >i I You have: a sporfe a piece of fruit a small penknife The Hitchhiker's Guide a thing your aunt gave you which you don't know what it is your gown (being worn and open) a babel fish (in your ear) >put al in pocket PUT AL IN POCKET [You don't need to use the word "al" to complete the game.] >put all in pocket PUT ALL IN POCKET sporfe: OK. piece of fruit: OK. small penknife: OK. The Hitchhiker's Guide: There's not enough room. thing your aunt gave you which you don't know what it is: OK. babel fish: That would be foolish. Having a babel fish in your ear is terribly useful. >d D Reception This is the reception of Milliways, which has recently been polished clean. Here is a desk, and to the east is the car park. You can walk up a set of stairs to the Third Class. You can see a laminated menu here. >take menu TAKE MENU Taken. A first class idiot walks into the Reception, wielding a first class access card. >u U Third Class This is the third class. To the northeast is the second class area, and you can also go down a set of steps. Right here, it is very dull, silent, and you can't see the explosion that is happening outside. You need to get through! The second class access door slides shut. >n N You can't go that way. >ne NE You can't - the door's closed. A first class idiot walks into the Third Class, wielding a first class access card. >ne NE You can't - the door's closed. The first class idiot leaves the Third Class and walks into the Dining Hall, passing through exits with the first class access card in one hand and sipping sherry. >ne NE You sneak through into the second class area. Dining Hall You can go southwest (to the Third Class area), southeast (to the kitchen), east (although there is a door stating "NO ENTRY") and north leads to the first class. There is a first class idiot here, sipping sherry. You can see Ford here, laughing with Trillian and Zaphod. All of them are drunk. Ford's satchel is here. The first class idiot leaves the Dining Hall and walks into the First Class, passing through exits with the first class access card in one hand and sipping sherry. >take satchel TAKE SATCHEL Your load is too heavy. The third class access door slides shut. >i I You have: a laminated menu The Hitchhiker's Guide your gown (being worn and open) It looks like the pocket holds: a thing your aunt gave you which you don't know what it is a small penknife a piece of fruit a sporfe a babel fish (in your ear) >put guide in pocket PUT GUIDE IN POCKET There's not enough room. A first class idiot walks into the Dining Hall, wielding a first class access card. >take thing TAKE THING Taken. The first class idiot leaves the Dining Hall and walks into the Third Class, passing through exits with the first class access card in one hand and sipping sherry. >put all inthing PUT ALL INTHING [The word "inthing" isn't in the vocabulary that you can use with me.] >put all in thing PUT ALL IN THING laminated menu: OK. The Hitchhiker's Guide: OK. your gown: You'll have to remove it first. babel fish: That would be foolish. Having a babel fish in your ear is terribly useful. >take all from pocket TAKE ALL FROM POCKET small penknife: Taken. piece of fruit: Taken. sporfe: Taken. The third class access door slides shut. >put all inthing PUT ALL INTHING [I guess I'll have to learn what "inthing" means. But for now, I don't.] >put all in thing PUT ALL IN THING sporfe: OK. piece of fruit: OK. small penknife: OK. your gown: You'll have to remove it first. babel fish: That would be foolish. Having a babel fish in your ear is terribly useful. >l L Dining Hall You can go southwest (to the Third Class area), southeast (to the kitchen), east (although there is a door stating "NO ENTRY") and north leads to the first class. You can see Ford here, laughing with Trillian and Zaphod. All of them are drunk. Ford's satchel is here. >take satchel TAKE SATCHEL Taken. The second-class access door slides open. A first class idiot walks into the Dining Hall, wielding a first class access card. >open it OPEN IT You open Ford's satchel and see: Santraginean Mineral Water a towel The first class idiot leaves the Dining Hall and walks into the First Class, passing through exits with the first class access card in one hand and sipping sherry. >take water and towel TAKE WATER AND TOWEL Santraginean Mineral Water: Your load is too heavy. towel: Your load is too heavy. The people are beginning to become wary of the Santraginean Mineral Water in Ford's satchel. The third class access door slides shut. >put water in thing PUT WATER IN THING OK. >ti TI [I'm just a stupid computer. Please enlighten me with what "ti" means. No, actually, don't.] >i I You have: Ford's satchel (open) It looks like Ford's satchel contains: a towel a thing your aunt gave you which you don't know what it is It looks like the Thing contains: Santraginean Mineral Water a small penknife a piece of fruit a sporfe The Hitchhiker's Guide a laminated menu your gown (being worn and open) a babel fish (in your ear) A first class idiot walks into the Dining Hall, wielding a first class access card. >put satchel inthing PUT SATCHEL INTHING [I don't know the word "inthing".] >put satchel in thing PUT SATCHEL IN THING OK. The first class idiot leaves the Dining Hall and walks into the Third Class, passing through exits with the first class access card in one hand and sipping sherry. >take towel TAKE TOWEL Taken. >se SE Kitchen The kitchen is bustling with pots, pans, dishes, a small sink and hundreds upon hundreds of cupboards, which line the wall. The only exit is to the northwest. The head chef is glaring at you. A cupboard door opens, revealing a rum glass. >z Z Time passes... The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens, revealing a wine glass. >put water in cupboard PUT WATER IN CUPBOARD As you place Santraginean Mineral Water inside the open cupboard, a voice says "Ooh! Is that Santraginean Mineral Water? Thank you..." And the cupboard swallows the object, briefly distracted from its opening-and-closing door business as it decides just where to place Santraginean Mineral Water, which disappears behind miles of shelves. Behind you, the chef chuckles to himself. "You're never getting that back, you know." >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens, revealing a bottle of Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster. >put fruit in cupboard PUT FRUIT IN CUPBOARD As you place the piece of fruit inside the open cupboard, a voice says "Ooh! Is that a piece of fruit? Thank you..." And the cupboard swallows the object, briefly distracted from its opening-and-closing door business as it decides just where to place the piece of fruit, which disappears behind miles of shelves. Behind you, the chef chuckles to himself. "You're never getting that back, you know." >take blaster TAKE BLASTER Taken. >i I You have: a bottle of Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster a towel a thing your aunt gave you which you don't know what it is It looks like the Thing contains: Ford's satchel (open) a small penknife a sporfe The Hitchhiker's Guide a laminated menu your gown (being worn and open) a babel fish (in your ear) The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens, revealing a rum glass. >z Z Time passes... The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens, revealing a pot of burgundy food dye. >put menu in cupboard PUT MENU IN CUPBOARD As you place the laminated menu inside the open cupboard, a voice says "Ooh! Is that a laminated menu? Thank you..." And the cupboard swallows the object, briefly distracted from its opening-and-closing door business as it decides just where to place the laminated menu, which disappears behind miles of shelves. Behind you, the chef chuckles to himself. "You're never getting that back, you know." >take dye TAKE DYE Your load is too heavy. >put dye inthing PUT DYE INTHING [You may know what "inthing" means, but I don't.] >put dye int hing PUT DYE INT HING [You don't need to use the word "int" to complete the game.] >put dye in thing PUT DYE IN THING You aren't holding the pot of burgundy food dye! The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens. >undo UNDO Kitchen [Undone.] >undo UNDO Kitchen [Undone.] >put all inthing PUT ALL INTHING [You may know what "inthing" means, but I don't.] >put all in thing PUT ALL IN THING bottle of Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster: OK. towel: OK. your gown: You'll have to remove it first. babel fish: That would be foolish. Having a babel fish in your ear is terribly useful. >l L Kitchen The kitchen is bustling with pots, pans, dishes, a small sink and hundreds upon hundreds of cupboards, which line the wall. The only exit is to the northwest. The head chef is glaring at you. The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens, revealing a rum glass. >z Z Time passes... The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens. >z Z Time passes... The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens, revealing a pot of burgundy food dye. >put menu in cupboard PUT MENU IN CUPBOARD [You don't have any menu.] >i I You have: a thing your aunt gave you which you don't know what it is It looks like the Thing contains: a towel a bottle of Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster Ford's satchel (open) a small penknife a sporfe The Hitchhiker's Guide your gown (being worn and open) a babel fish (in your ear) The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens, revealing a rum glass. >undo UNDO Kitchen [Undone.] >put satchel in cupboard PUT SATCHEL IN CUPBOARD As you place Ford's satchel inside the open cupboard, a voice says "Ooh! Is that Ford's satchel? Thank you..." And the cupboard swallows the object, briefly distracted from its opening-and-closing door business as it decides just where to place Ford's satchel, which disappears behind miles of shelves. Behind you, the chef chuckles to himself. "You're never getting that back, you know." >take dye TAKE DYE Taken. >put dye in glass PUT DYE IN GLASS [You don't have any dye in glass.] >i I You have: a pot of burgundy food dye a thing your aunt gave you which you don't know what it is It looks like the Thing contains: a towel a bottle of Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster a small penknife a sporfe The Hitchhiker's Guide your gown (being worn and open) a babel fish (in your ear) The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens. >z Z Time passes... The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens, revealing a rum glass. >z Z Time passes... The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens, revealing a heatproof tray. >z Z Time passes... The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens. >z Z Time passes... The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens, revealing a rum glass. >z Z Time passes... The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens. >z Z Time passes... The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens. >z Z Time passes... The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens, revealing a rum glass. >z Z Time passes... The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens. >z Z Time passes... The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens. >z Z Time passes... The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens, revealing a wine glass. >put satchel in cupboard PUT SATCHEL IN CUPBOARD [You don't have any satchel.] >take satchel TAKE SATCHEL [You can't see any satchel right here.] >i I You have: a pot of burgundy food dye a thing your aunt gave you which you don't know what it is It looks like the Thing contains: a towel a bottle of Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster a small penknife a sporfe The Hitchhiker's Guide your gown (being worn and open) a babel fish (in your ear) The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens, revealing a heatproof tray. >nw NW Dining Hall You can go southwest (to the Third Class area), southeast (to the kitchen), east (although there is a door stating "NO ENTRY") and north leads to the first class. There is a first class idiot here, sipping sherry. You can see Ford here, laughing with Trillian and Zaphod. All of them are drunk. The first class idiot leaves the Dining Hall and walks into the Third Class, passing through exits with the first class access card in one hand and sipping sherry. >se SE Just as you are about to step inside... "Hold on a minute!" shouts a voice. "Where's your dishcloth?" says the head cook, stepping out from behind an assortment of pots and pans. "Go back and get it!" and promptly throws you out of the kitchen. >i I You have: a pot of burgundy food dye a thing your aunt gave you which you don't know what it is It looks like the Thing contains: a towel a bottle of Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster a small penknife a sporfe The Hitchhiker's Guide your gown (being worn and open) a babel fish (in your ear) The third class access door slides shut. >take towel TAKE TOWEL Taken. >* er I think I need all these things * ER I THINK I NEED ALL THESE THINGS [You don't need to use the word "*" to complete the game.] >restore RESTORE OK. Reception This is the reception of Milliways, which has recently been polished clean. Here is a desk, and to the east is the car park. You can walk up a set of stairs to the Third Class. You can see a laminated menu here. >take menu TAKE MENU Your load is too heavy. >u U Third Class This is the third class. To the northeast is the second class area, and you can also go down a set of steps. Right here, it is very dull, silent, and you can't see the explosion that is happening outside. You need to get through! >put all inthing PUT ALL INTHING [You don't need to use the word "inthing" to complete the game.] >d D Reception This is the reception of Milliways, which has recently been polished clean. Here is a desk, and to the east is the car park. You can walk up a set of stairs to the Third Class. You can see a laminated menu here. >put all in thing PUT ALL IN THING sporfe: OK. piece of fruit: OK. small penknife: OK. The Hitchhiker's Guide: OK. your gown: You'll have to remove it first. babel fish: That would be foolish. Having a babel fish in your ear is terribly useful. >d D You can't go that way. >take menu TAKE MENU Taken. A first class idiot walks into the Reception, wielding a first class access card. >u U Third Class This is the third class. To the northeast is the second class area, and you can also go down a set of steps. Right here, it is very dull, silent, and you can't see the explosion that is happening outside. You need to get through! The second class access door slides shut. >ne NE You can't - the door's closed. >ne NE You can't - the door's closed. A first class idiot walks into the Third Class, wielding a first class access card. >g G You can't - the door's closed. The first class idiot leaves the Third Class and walks into the Dining Hall, passing through exits with the first class access card in one hand and sipping sherry. >ne NE You sneak through into the second class area. Dining Hall You can go southwest (to the Third Class area), southeast (to the kitchen), east (although there is a door stating "NO ENTRY") and north leads to the first class. There is a first class idiot here, sipping sherry. You can see Ford here, laughing with Trillian and Zaphod. All of them are drunk. Ford's satchel is here. The first class idiot leaves the Dining Hall and walks into the First Class, passing through exits with the first class access card in one hand and sipping sherry. >take satchel and put it in thing TAKE SATCHEL AND PUT IT IN THING [I can't understand that many nouns with "take".] >take satchel TAKE SATCHEL Your load is too heavy. The third class access door slides shut. >i I You have: a laminated menu a thing your aunt gave you which you don't know what it is It looks like the Thing contains: The Hitchhiker's Guide a small penknife a piece of fruit a sporfe your gown (being worn and open) a babel fish (in your ear) >put all inthing PUT ALL INTHING [The word "inthing" isn't in the vocabulary that you can use with me.] >put all in thing PUT ALL IN THING laminated menu: OK. your gown: You'll have to remove it first. babel fish: That would be foolish. Having a babel fish in your ear is terribly useful. A first class idiot walks into the Dining Hall, wielding a first class access card. >take satchel TAKE SATCHEL Taken. The first class idiot leaves the Dining Hall and walks into the Third Class, passing through exits with the first class access card in one hand and sipping sherry. >open it OPEN IT You open Ford's satchel and see: Santraginean Mineral Water a towel >take towel TAKE TOWEL Your load is too heavy. The people are beginning to become wary of the Santraginean Mineral Water in Ford's satchel. The third class access door slides shut. >put water in thing PUT WATER IN THING OK. >take towel TAKE TOWEL Your load is too heavy. >i I You have: Ford's satchel (open) It looks like Ford's satchel contains: a towel a thing your aunt gave you which you don't know what it is It looks like the Thing contains: Santraginean Mineral Water a laminated menu The Hitchhiker's Guide a small penknife a piece of fruit a sporfe your gown (being worn and open) a babel fish (in your ear) The second-class access door slides open. A first class idiot walks into the Dining Hall, wielding a first class access card. >put all inthing PUT ALL INTHING [I guess I'll have to learn what "inthing" means. But for now, I don't.] >put all in thing PUT ALL IN THING Ford's satchel: OK. your gown: You'll have to remove it first. babel fish: That would be foolish. Having a babel fish in your ear is terribly useful. The first class idiot leaves the Dining Hall and walks into the First Class, passing through exits with the first class access card in one hand and sipping sherry. >take towel TAKE TOWEL Taken. The third class access door slides shut. >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... A first class idiot walks into the Dining Hall, wielding a first class access card. >z Z Time passes... The first class idiot leaves the Dining Hall and walks into the Third Class, passing through exits with the first class access card in one hand and sipping sherry. >s S You can't go that way. >se SE Kitchen The kitchen is bustling with pots, pans, dishes, a small sink and hundreds upon hundreds of cupboards, which line the wall. The only exit is to the northwest. The head chef is glaring at you. A cupboard door opens, revealing a bottle of Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster. >z Z Time passes... The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens, revealing a rum glass. >z Z Time passes... The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens, revealing a wine glass. >put fruit in cupboard PUT FRUIT IN CUPBOARD As you place the piece of fruit inside the open cupboard, a voice says "Ooh! Is that a piece of fruit? Thank you..." And the cupboard swallows the object, briefly distracted from its opening-and-closing door business as it decides just where to place the piece of fruit, which disappears behind miles of shelves. Behind you, the chef chuckles to himself. "You're never getting that back, you know." >take glass TAKE GLASS Taken. >i I You have: a wine glass a towel a thing your aunt gave you which you don't know what it is It looks like the Thing contains: Ford's satchel (open) Santraginean Mineral Water a laminated menu The Hitchhiker's Guide a small penknife a sporfe your gown (being worn and open) a babel fish (in your ear) The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens, revealing a bottle of Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster. >z Z Time passes... The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens, revealing a pot of burgundy food dye. >put satchel in cupboard PUT SATCHEL IN CUPBOARD As you place Ford's satchel inside the open cupboard, a voice says "Ooh! Is that Ford's satchel? Thank you..." And the cupboard swallows the object, briefly distracted from its opening-and-closing door business as it decides just where to place Ford's satchel, which disappears behind miles of shelves. Behind you, the chef chuckles to himself. "You're never getting that back, you know." >take dye TAKE DYE Taken. >put dye in glass PUT DYE IN GLASS You pour some dye in the glass. The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens, revealing a rum glass. >z Z Time passes... The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens, revealing a bottle of Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster. >put dye in cupboard PUT DYE IN CUPBOARD As you place the pot of burgundy food dye inside the open cupboard, a voice says "Ooh! Is that a pot of burgundy food dye? Thank you..." And the cupboard swallows the object, briefly distracted from its opening-and-closing door business as it decides just where to place the pot of burgundy food dye, which disappears behind miles of shelves. Behind you, the chef chuckles to himself. "You're never getting that back, you know." >take blaster TAKE BLASTER Taken. >put blaster in glass PUT BLASTER IN GLASS You pour some Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster in the glass. The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens, revealing a heatproof tray. >x glass X GLASS It has got a mix of Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster and red dye inside it. The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens. >i I You have: a bottle of Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster a wine glass It looks like the wine glass contains: a quantity of pan galactic gargle blaster a quantity of dye a towel a thing your aunt gave you which you don't know what it is It looks like the Thing contains: Santraginean Mineral Water a laminated menu The Hitchhiker's Guide a small penknife a sporfe your gown (being worn and open) a babel fish (in your ear) The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens. >i I You have: a bottle of Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster a wine glass It looks like the wine glass contains: a quantity of pan galactic gargle blaster a quantity of dye a towel a thing your aunt gave you which you don't know what it is It looks like the Thing contains: Santraginean Mineral Water a laminated menu The Hitchhiker's Guide a small penknife a sporfe your gown (being worn and open) a babel fish (in your ear) The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens. >z Z Time passes... The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens. >z Z Time passes... The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens, revealing a rum glass. >z Z Time passes... The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens. >z Z Time passes... The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens, revealing a rum glass. >z Z Time passes... The open cupboard door shuts. Another cupboard door opens, revealing a heatproof tray. >put water in cupboard PUT WATER IN CUPBOARD As you place Santraginean Mineral Water inside the open cupboard, a voice says "Ooh! Is that Santraginean Mineral Water? Thank you..." And the cupboard swallows the object, briefly distracted from its opening-and-closing door business as it decides just where to place Santraginean Mineral Water, which disappears behind miles of shelves. Behind you, the chef chuckles to himself. "You're never getting that back, you know." >take tray TAKE TRAY Taken. >nw NW Dining Hall You can go southwest (to the Third Class area), southeast (to the kitchen), east (although there is a door stating "NO ENTRY") and north leads to the first class. There is a first class idiot here, sipping sherry. You can see Ford here, laughing with Trillian and Zaphod. All of them are drunk. The first class idiot leaves the Dining Hall and walks into the First Class, passing through exits with the first class access card in one hand and sipping sherry. >n N The bouncer approves of your towel, mistakenly believing you to be a waiter, and allows you through. First Class The first class is spacious, with a stage at the northern end (for Max Quordlepleen's performance), and an exit at the southern end of the room. There is a first class idiot here, sipping sherry. [Your score has just gone up by fifteen points.] >* oh I see * OH I SEE [I'm just a stupid computer. Please enlighten me with what "*" means. No, actually, don't.] >x idiot X IDIOT A snobbish idiot, sipping sherry and staring at you disdainfully. >give blaster to idiot GIVE BLASTER TO IDIOT "I'd rather stay alive," the idiot snaps before you can even hand it over. >give glass to idiot GIVE GLASS TO IDIOT Confused about the free offering but not arguing with it, the idiot drinks the "wine" mixture. Six seconds later, he is asleep - you hope. The glass smashes on the floor, and an automatic robot clears it up and leaves. >take access TAKE ACCESS Taken. All that for a piece of plastic? [Your score has just gone up by twenty points.] >s S Dining Hall You can go southwest (to the Third Class area), southeast (to the kitchen), east (although there is a door stating "NO ENTRY") and north leads to the first class. You can see Ford here, laughing with Trillian and Zaphod. All of them are drunk. >e E The computer denies your access, stating that your name is not on Max Quordlepleen's special card, nor is your name on his dressing room access register. >sw SW (swiping the first class access card against the third class access panel first) Third Class To the northeast is the second class area, and you can also go down a set of steps. >x card X CARD You see nothing special about the first class access card. The second class access door slides shut. >d D Reception This is the reception of Milliways, which has recently been polished clean. Here is a desk, and to the east is the car park. You can walk up a set of stairs to the Third Class. >e E You flash your access card against the panel and stroll through. Car Park To the south is the toilet, to the west is the Reception, east leads to a hundred strange-looking ships (including Hotblack Desiato's cruiser, which is all that you can look at), and north to the time-teleport cubicles. Marvin, the Paranoid Android, is sulking. >x marvin X MARVIN Marvin, the Paranoid Android, is sulking. His eyes glow with a dull light that makes you feel even more miserable. He stands, silently, and waits for something bad to happen to himself, which it always does. It looks like Marvin is holding: a radio (playing a sad tune) a clover (plugged into the radio) >ask marvin bout himself ASK MARVIN BOUT HIMSELF [I don't know the word "bout".] >ask marvin about himself ASK MARVIN ABOUT HIMSELF A long silence tells you that Marvin isn't interested in talking about himself. >ask marvin about restaurant ASK MARVIN ABOUT RESTAURANT A long silence tells you that Marvin isn't interested in talking about that. >l L Car Park To the south is the toilet, to the west is the Reception, east leads to a hundred strange-looking ships (including Hotblack Desiato's cruiser, which is all that you can look at), and north to the time-teleport cubicles. Marvin, the Paranoid Android, is sulking. >x ships X SHIPS It leads to the ships. >s S You don't have to go there. >e E (assuming you mean entering Hotblack Desiato's personal ship) You need not move anywhere, as the door's closed. >open door OPEN DOOR You'll need someone like Marvin to do that. >x ship X SHIP It's Hotblack Desiato's personal ship. It's totally black - like, fully black! Your eyes just slide right off it. It looks like a good way to leave Milliways, and then you can also exit in style! >open it OPEN IT You'll need someone like Marvin to do that. >marvin, open ship MARVIN, OPEN SHIP "Why should I? You just left me on that planet, for approximately five hundred and seventy-six thousand million years, and show no understanding! Well, I guess you can't because you're not intelligent enough to be able to even fathom what I'm thinking. "When Milliways was created, I became the Head of Parking Cars. Can you believe that? Me, with a brain the size of a planet, and here I am - parking cars. Life is so terribly painful." >ask marvin about ship ASK MARVIN ABOUT SHIP A long silence tells you that Marvin isn't interested in talking about that. >ask marvin about parking cars ASK MARVIN ABOUT PARKING CARS [You may know what "parking" means, but I don't.] >l L Car Park To the south is the toilet, to the west is the Reception, east leads to a hundred strange-looking ships (including Hotblack Desiato's cruiser, which is all that you can look at), and north to the time-teleport cubicles. Marvin, the Paranoid Android, is sulking. >n N You step through the matter transference portal. You are disoriented. Blackness swims toward you like a shoal of eels who have just seen something that eels like a lot... Dark >* oh was that bad? * OH WAS THAT BAD? [You don't need to use the word "*" to complete the game.] >hint HINT [Warning: It is recognized that the temptation for help may at times be so exceedingly strong that you might fetch hints prematurely. Therefore, if you would like to disallow yourself to have hints from now on, then you may type HINTS OFF. If you still want a hint now, or if you are a beginner and are looking at the General Commands, indicate HINT.] >hitn HITN [The word "hitn" isn't in the vocabulary that you can use with me.] >hitn HITN [I guess I'll have to learn what "hitn" means. But for now, I don't.] >hint HINT Hooray! I'm finally at the Restaurant at the End of the Universe. Now what? 2> Why don't you figure that out yourself? 1> [This space intentionally left blank] [That's all.] Back to the story... Dark >* hmm guess not * HMM GUESS NOT [I'm just a stupid computer. Please enlighten me with what "*" means. No, actually, don't.] >l L Dark You can hear nothing, smell nothing, taste nothing, see nothing, feel nothing, and are not even certain who you are. >l L Dark You can see nothing, feel nothing, hear nothing, taste nothing, smell nothing, and are not entirely certain who you are. >who am i WHO AM I There's nothing you can taste, nothing you can see, nothing you can hear, nothing you can feel, nothing you can smell, you do not even know who you are. >z Z You can see nothing, feel nothing, hear nothing, taste nothing, smell nothing, and are not entirely certain who you are. >z Z There's nothing you can taste, nothing you can hear, nothing you can feel, nothing you can smell, you do not even know who you are. >who am i WHO AM I You can hear nothing, smell nothing, taste nothing, feel nothing, and are not even certain who you are. >listen LISTEN (darkness) There's nothing you can taste, nothing you can hear, nothing you can feel, nothing you can smell, you do not even know who you are. >look LOOK It isn't that dark. As your eyes accustom to the newfound light, you notice the walls of the room you appear to be in. The walls are a grey-ish colour. In front of you, a small black blur looks at you disapprovingly. >talk to blur TALK TO BLUR The blur clears its throat and comes into focus, appearing in the shape of a white mouse, which is on the table next to you. You hear two tiny mouse paws clap twice, when a bright light illuminates the room, showing you to be in... Interview Room A table stands directly in the middle of the room, bright white against the also bright white walls. You are standing next to it. The south wall (on the other side of the room) hosts an emergency exit, and next to it is a strange and (not to mention) quite badly-made painting. All of the other walls are plain. On the table is a bowl full of fruit, and the two mice: Benjy and Percy. >* er here again? * ER HERE AGAIN? [I don't know the word "*".] >ask mice about painting ASK MICE ABOUT PAINTING "Well, it's a very old painting, and it's of our owner, ...." And they just keep talking. Blah blah blah. As you open your eyes, you notice the mice (in robotic bodies) are standing over you, holding tools. You soon realise you can't move either! And only then do you notice the needle in the hand of the suit, and you close your eyes again, for you know you may just die. Everything becomes... Dark "Do you know, it's quite funny because ..." You can't even focus on what they're saying. >* er, huh? * ER, HUH? [You may know what "*" means, but I don't.] >z Z You can't hear anything, see anything, smell anything, feel anything, or taste anything, and do not even know where you are or who you are or how you got there. "... And that's all that we know about the painting. Well, I hope you like it." >* oops * OOPS [You don't need to use the word "*" to complete the game.] >who am i WHO AM I There's nothing you can taste, nothing you can see, nothing you can hear, nothing you can feel, nothing you can smell, you do not even know who you are. >z Z You can't hear anything, see anything, smell anything, feel anything, or taste anything, and do not even know where you are or who you are or how you got there. >z Z You can see nothing, feel nothing, hear nothing, taste nothing, smell nothing, and are not entirely certain who you are. >z Z You can hear nothing, smell nothing, taste nothing, feel nothing, and are not even certain who you are. >look LOOK It isn't that dark. As your eyes accustom to the newfound light, you notice the walls of the room you appear to be in. The walls are a grey-ish colour. In front of you, a large green blur looks at you disapprovingly. >talk to blur TALK TO BLUR The blur clears its throat and comes into focus, appearing in the shape of a waiter, who then walks off into the distance. Odd. A bright light illuminates the room, showing you to be in... Reception This is the reception of Milliways, which has recently been polished clean. Here is a desk, and to the east is the car park. You can walk up a set of stairs to the Third Class. >e E You flash your access card against the panel and stroll through. Car Park To the south is the toilet, to the west is the Reception, east leads to a hundred strange-looking ships (including Hotblack Desiato's cruiser, which is all that you can look at), and north to the time-teleport cubicles. Marvin, the Paranoid Android, is sulking. >n N You step through the matter transference portal. A sudden blackout around you sends you reeling, pulling you forwards into a pit of darkness so alarmingly empty it could have been death... Dark >* huh * HUH [The word "*" isn't in the vocabulary that you can use with me.] >z Z You can see nothing, feel nothing, hear nothing, taste nothing, smell nothing, and are not entirely certain who you are. >who am i WHO AM I You can't hear anything, see anything, smell anything, feel anything, or taste anything, and do not even know where you are or who you are or how you got there. >z Z You can see nothing, feel nothing, hear nothing, taste nothing, smell nothing, and are not entirely certain who you are. >z Z You can't hear anything, see anything, smell anything, feel anything, or taste anything, and do not even know where you are or who you are or how you got there. >z Z You can see nothing, feel nothing, hear nothing, taste nothing, and are not entirely certain who you are. >smell SMELL (darkness) The smell is sweet, like a bubble bath. It trails off into what may be another room, further into the darkness. >in IN You walk forwards. The darkness flashes brightly, and you find yourself staring into the eyes of a rubber ducky... Golgafrincham Ark B, on the bridge It looks just how you imagined the inside of a spaceship would look like. Controls litter the outer rim, with knobs and buttons all over, and confusing data on multiple screens. A large, pink bath which contains frothy water sits in the centre of the room. Inside the bath sits a man with a captain's hat on. >* OK it's based on senses * OK IT'S BASED ON SENSES [I guess I'll have to learn what "*" means. But for now, I don't.] >save SAVE OK. >x man X MAN He is the captain. You assume he owns the ship, but his unwillingness to leave the bath tells you he has little authority. He sits in the bath, looking pleased with himself about something. He is holding a dish of meat which doesn't look appetizing. >* I mean if I were in a bubble bath in the middle of a ship' * I MEAN IF I WERE IN A BUBBLE BATH IN THE MIDDLE OF A SHIP' [I'm just a stupid computer. Please enlighten me with what "*" means. No, actually, don't.] >ask man about himself ASK MAN ABOUT HIMSELF A long silence tells you that the captain isn't interested in talking about himself. >tell man about himself TELL MAN ABOUT HIMSELF "I don't understand! What are you referring to?" >ask man about ark ASK MAN ABOUT ARK He shrugs. >ask man about milliways ASK MAN ABOUT MILLIWAYS He shrugs. >ask man about hat ASK MAN ABOUT HAT [I don't know the word "hat".] >x man X MAN He is the captain. You assume he owns the ship, but his unwillingness to leave the bath tells you he has little authority. He sits in the bath, looking pleased with himself about something. He is holding a dish of meat which doesn't look appetizing. >* I assumed he had a hat if I could tell he was the capatain * I ASSUMED HE HAD A HAT IF I COULD TELL HE WAS THE CAPATAIN [You may know what "*" means, but I don't.] >x meat X MEAT The plate holds a piece of meat. You don't know which type, but hey, so many things around here are unknown. Not even the Guide knows about most, so why would you? >ask man about meat ASK MAN ABOUT MEAT "Oh ... I don't really want it. I'm supposed to have it but I'm really not hungry. Here, you can have it." He puts it on the floor. "The meat is made from the flesh of a vegan snow lizard," he whispers, "just in case it interests you!" >take meat TAKE MEAT Your load is too heavy. >* Oh am I supposed to collect stuff for the restaurant or so * OH AM I SUPPOSED TO COLLECT STUFF FOR THE RESTAURANT OR SO [You don't need to use the word "*" to complete the game.] >i I You have: a first class access card a heatproof tray a bottle of Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster a towel a thing your aunt gave you which you don't know what it is It looks like the Thing contains: a laminated menu The Hitchhiker's Guide a small penknife a sporfe your gown (being worn and open) a babel fish (in your ear) >drop tray DROP TRAY Dropped. >drop blaster DROP BLASTER Dropped. >l L Golgafrincham Ark B, on the bridge It looks just how you imagined the inside of a spaceship would look like. Controls litter the outer rim, with knobs and buttons all over, and confusing data on multiple screens. You can see a bottle with some Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster here. There is a big pink bath in the middle of the room, containing the captain of the ship. There is a heatproof tray here. You can see a dish of vegan snow lizard meat here. >take meat TAKE MEAT Taken. >l L Golgafrincham Ark B, on the bridge It looks just how you imagined the inside of a spaceship would look like. Controls litter the outer rim, with knobs and buttons all over, and confusing data on multiple screens. You can see a bottle with some Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster here. There is a big pink bath in the middle of the room, containing the captain of the ship. There is a heatproof tray here. >consult guide about meat CONSULT GUIDE ABOUT MEAT The Guide checks through its Sub-Etha-Net database and eventually comes up with the following entry: That is one of the Great Unanswered Questions. For a list of the others, consult the Guide. >consult guide about vegan snow lizard CONSULT GUIDE ABOUT VEGAN SNOW LIZARD The Guide checks through its Sub-Etha-Net database and eventually comes up with the following entry: That is one of the Great Unanswered Questions. For a list of the others, consult the Guide. >consult guide about vegan snow lizards CONSULT GUIDE ABOUT VEGAN SNOW LIZARDS [The word "lizards" isn't in the vocabulary that you can use with me.] >consult guide about vegan snow lizard meat CONSULT GUIDE ABOUT VEGAN SNOW LIZARD MEAT [I can't understand that many nouns with that verb.] >consult guide about vegan CONSULT GUIDE ABOUT VEGAN [Sorry, but I don't understand. Please say that another way, or try something else.] >consult guide about vegans CONSULT GUIDE ABOUT VEGANS [I guess I'll have to learn what "vegans" means. But for now, I don't.] >consult guide about snow lizard CONSULT GUIDE ABOUT SNOW LIZARD The Guide checks through its Sub-Etha-Net database and eventually comes up with the following entry: That is one of the Great Unanswered Questions. For a list of the others, consult the Guide. >consult guide about snow lizards CONSULT GUIDE ABOUT SNOW LIZARDS [I'm just a stupid computer. Please enlighten me with what "lizards" means. No, actually, don't.] >l L Golgafrincham Ark B, on the bridge It looks just how you imagined the inside of a spaceship would look like. Controls litter the outer rim, with knobs and buttons all over, and confusing data on multiple screens. You can see a bottle with some Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster here. There is a big pink bath in the middle of the room, containing the captain of the ship. There is a heatproof tray here. >x bath X BATH The pink frothy water inside the bath swirls and steams. Swishing around inside, looking intently at you, is the captain, who plays with the rubber ducky in his hand. >enter bath ENTER BATH "Hey! No getting in the bath, buddy!" >x ducky X DUCKY You see nothing special about the rubber ducky. >ask man about ducky ASK MAN ABOUT DUCKY He shrugs. >l L Golgafrincham Ark B, on the bridge It looks just how you imagined the inside of a spaceship would look like. Controls litter the outer rim, with knobs and buttons all over, and confusing data on multiple screens. You can see a bottle with some Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster here. There is a big pink bath in the middle of the room, containing the captain of the ship. There is a heatproof tray here. >x controls X CONTROLS That's not important; leave it alone. >push controls PUSH CONTROLS That's not important; leave it alone. >x data X DATA That's not important; leave it alone. >x knobs X KNOBS That's not important; leave it alone. >x buttons X BUTTONS [I don't know the word "buttons".] >push buttons PUSH BUTTONS [You may know what "buttons" means, but I don't.] >push button PUSH BUTTON [You can't see any button right here.] >push knob PUSH KNOB That's not important; leave it alone. >push knobs PUSH KNOBS That's not important; leave it alone. >l L Golgafrincham Ark B, on the bridge It looks just how you imagined the inside of a spaceship would look like. Controls litter the outer rim, with knobs and buttons all over, and confusing data on multiple screens. You can see a bottle with some Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster here. There is a big pink bath in the middle of the room, containing the captain of the ship. There is a heatproof tray here. >n N You can't go that way. >e E You can't go that way. >s S You can't go that way. >w W You can't go that way. >sw SW You can't go that way. >nw NW You can't go that way. >ne NE You can't go that way. >se SE You can't go that way. >l L Golgafrincham Ark B, on the bridge It looks just how you imagined the inside of a spaceship would look like. Controls litter the outer rim, with knobs and buttons all over, and confusing data on multiple screens. You can see a bottle with some Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster here. There is a big pink bath in the middle of the room, containing the captain of the ship. There is a heatproof tray here. >eat meat EAT MEAT It's raw! >i I You have: a dish of vegan snow lizard meat a first class access card a towel a thing your aunt gave you which you don't know what it is It looks like the Thing contains: a laminated menu The Hitchhiker's Guide a small penknife a sporfe your gown (being worn and open) a babel fish (in your ear) >cook meat COOK MEAT [Sorry, but I don't understand. Please say that another way, or try something else.] >cut meat CUT MEAT You are obviously letting things get to you. You should learn to relax a little. >put meat in bath PUT MEAT IN BATH You search for an opening in the pink foamy water but find none. >* hmm * HMM [You don't need to use the word "*" to complete the game.] >* wait we didn't dump the menu? * WAIT WE DIDN'T DUMP THE MENU? [The word "*" isn't in the vocabulary that you can use with me.] >l L Golgafrincham Ark B, on the bridge It looks just how you imagined the inside of a spaceship would look like. Controls litter the outer rim, with knobs and buttons all over, and confusing data on multiple screens. You can see a bottle with some Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster here. There is a big pink bath in the middle of the room, containing the captain of the ship. There is a heatproof tray here. >out OUT Although you're on the bridge, you don't seem to be able to leave. >in IN Did you have a direction in mind? >x screen X SCREEN [You can't see any screen right here.] >x ship X SHIP You see nothing special about the ship. >x screens X SCREENS That's not important; leave it alone. >enter ship ENTER SHIP You can't be serious. >exit it EXIT IT Although you're on the bridge, you don't seem to be able to leave. >l L Golgafrincham Ark B, on the bridge It looks just how you imagined the inside of a spaceship would look like. Controls litter the outer rim, with knobs and buttons all over, and confusing data on multiple screens. You can see a bottle with some Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster here. There is a big pink bath in the middle of the room, containing the captain of the ship. There is a heatproof tray here. >ask man about bath ASK MAN ABOUT BATH He shrugs. >x man X MAN He is the captain. You assume he owns the ship, but his unwillingness to leave the bath tells you he has little authority. He sits in the bath, looking pleased with himself about something. >ask man why he's pleased ASK MAN WHY HE'S PLEASED [I guess I'll have to learn what "pleased" means. But for now, I don't.] >hint HINT What am I doing here? 2> You were teleported here, just like all the other parts. 1> [This space intentionally left blank] [That's all.] Back to the story... Golgafrincham Ark B, on the bridge It looks just how you imagined the inside of a spaceship would look like. Controls litter the outer rim, with knobs and buttons all over, and confusing data on multiple screens. You can see a bottle with some Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster here. There is a big pink bath in the middle of the room, containing the captain of the ship. There is a heatproof tray here. >hint HINT How do I leave? 2> You'll have to wait. 1> There's no other way out. [That's all.] Who is this captain and what is he doing here? 6> He's the captain of the ship. 5> He spends all his time in the bath. 4> Over three years now he's been in there. 3> Not to mention that he's holding a plate of meat. 2> Not real meat, mind you. 1> Sort of. [That's all.] How do I get into the bath? 2> You don't need to. 1> You can't. At least, not in this game you can't. [That's all.] How do I get the meat? 2> ASK CAPTAIN ABOUT THE MEAT. 1> There. He's dropped it on the floor. Now you can go to pick it up. [That's all.] What's the objective of this room? 2> There isn't much to do in this room, so you should quickly be able to work it out. 1> Getting the plate from the captain is it. [That's all.] Back to the story... Golgafrincham Ark B, on the bridge It looks just how you imagined the inside of a spaceship would look like. Controls litter the outer rim, with knobs and buttons all over, and confusing data on multiple screens. You can see a bottle with some Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster here. There is a big pink bath in the middle of the room, containing the captain of the ship. There is a heatproof tray here. >* ummOK * UMMOK [I'm just a stupid computer. Please enlighten me with what "*" means. No, actually, don't.] >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >wait WAIT Time passes... >l L Golgafrincham Ark B, on the bridge It looks just how you imagined the inside of a spaceship would look like. Controls litter the outer rim, with knobs and buttons all over, and confusing data on multiple screens. You can see a bottle with some Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster here. There is a big pink bath in the middle of the room, containing the captain of the ship. There is a heatproof tray here. >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >sit SIT [Sorry, but I don't understand. Please say that another way, or try something else.] >* er * ER [I don't know the word "*".] >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... > [I beg your pardon?] >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >z Z Time passes... >z Z