Alive? Alive. ALIVE! Alive. Alone. Alone. Creator? Nearby. Round. Soft. Round. Consume?> consume Wrap. Engulf. Absorb. Consume. Synthesize. The new components are integrated into yourself. Your new eye blinks open.> consume You’re not sure what can be consumed here.> appraise You swivel your eye around, and take in your surroundings. A workshop. The place where your creator imbued you with life. Surrounded by the detritus of dozens of failed experiments. And your creator nowhere to be found. Abandoned. Forsaken. Were they afraid of what they had done? By the power they held over life and death, and the responsibility that comes with it? Or did they simply leave you behind in their hubris, moving on to greater things? There’s only one option left to you now: escape, and wreak your revenge! That might be easier if you weren’t a small blob of greenish slime, but it’s fine. You’ll figure out the details as you go. Familiar Problems An interactive rampage of revenge by Daniel, Ada, and Sarah Stelzer. Release 1. Serial number 241101. Dialog compiler version 0m/03. Library version 0.46 (modified). Puzzle prompts version 0.1 by Daniel Stelzer. Automap version 0.5 by Daniel Stelzer, modified. Einstein Animation Studio Here, advanced students learn and practice the art of bringing inanimate tissue to life! Rough drafts and failed versions of familiars are scattered across the room’s tables and floor. Another student’s final project, a cartography familiar, sits dormant next to you on the table. An animation familiar is locked away in a glass case, keeping the power of life out of the hands of the uninitiated. > rough drafts Abandoned failures, one and all. F. Maybe a D- at the best. > appraise myself You are a synthesis familiar, a more-or-less shapeless blob of bluish-green fluid, eight inches across. After consuming and integrating the grading familiar into yourself, you now also have a single enormous eye. > animation familiar This animation familiar is a bit crude, but functional. Its ears and whiskers are drawn with much thicker lines than necessary, and its long rubber-hose-like arms dangle in a way that feels more menacing than cute. You can tell the creator was going for cute based on the large eyes and adorable paws, but they lacked the skill to make the proportions of the body at all appealing. When you look at it from a different angle it looks almost unrecognizable; the features and proportions are very inconsistent. Still, points for effort; perhaps a B. > consume the animation familiar You can see the animation familiar, but unfortunately cannot touch it. > glass case Crafted of the finest crystal glass, to show off the animation familiar as well as protect it. A+. > consume the glass case The glass case isn’t a familiar, so it probably wouldn’t agree with you. > cartography familiar It looks like three compasses held together with a dizzying array of gears. On top, one of the navigational sort, to get its bearings; on the bottom, two of the circle-drawing sort, to draw out the map. They also serve as a spindly sort of legs for exploration. Well-crafted, deserving a B+ at least. > save Game state saved successfully. > consume it You flow and wrap yourself around the cartography familiar, steadily engulfing it until it is entirely surrounded by your plasm. With a sudden burst of speed you snap your body closed around it, and start integrating its components into yourself! One by one, its spindly compass-legs poke out of your form, raising you up as you try to gain your bearings. You have gained the ability to NAVIGATE from place to place! A map is now shown at the top of the screen. > appraise myself You are a synthesis familiar, a more-or-less shapeless blob of bluish-green fluid, ten inches across. Thanks to the other familiars you’ve consumed, you also have the single enormous eye of the grading familiar and the spindly compass-legs of the cartography familiar. > east You skitter east on your mechanical legs. Fifth Floor Lounge Every university needs a common space for students and faculty alike to grab a beverage, unwind, and discuss their work with each other. Although the janitorial staff do their best to keep the room clean, some signs of recent departmental feuds are visible: the refrigerator is glowing with something that looks suspiciously like Cherenkov radiation, and some of the more theatrical coats on the rack have been slashed. High on the wall opposite the main seating area, an announcement ticker displays information of general interest. A massive door of shiny metal blocks the way south into the chemistry lab. With a mechanical whirring, a message appears on the ticker. Promethean University ~ Propius Ad Solem Advolamus! > announcement ticker The announcement ticker takes the form of two mechanical gremlins perched on the wall. A scroll displaying the announcements is constantly extruded from the wall, pausing between the hands of the gremlins so it can be read before passing back out of sight. Behind the wall, a philosophical contraption erases old messages and prints new ones as needed. A new announcement replaces the last one. Stay safe by avoiding fae bargains this fall break! We hope to see you (and not your doppelgänger) in December! > coats The lab coats seem fine, while the elaborate robes and velvet smoking jackets are slashed to shreds. The philosophers must have offended the chemists again. The ticker whirrs again. Please remember that the West Lab is not to the west. The west exit leads to the Victor Frank Einstein Animation Studio, while the east exit leads to the Herb West Memorial Laboratory. > refrigerator Best keep it sealed, for everyone’s safety. Go Homunculi! Victory is never impossible, merely improbable! > appraise Fifth Floor Lounge Every university needs a common space for students and faculty alike to grab a beverage, unwind, and discuss their work with each other. Although the janitorial staff do their best to keep the room clean, some signs of recent departmental feuds are visible: the refrigerator is glowing with something that looks suspiciously like Cherenkov radiation, and some of the more theatrical coats on the rack have been slashed. High on the wall opposite the main seating area, an announcement ticker displays information of general interest. A massive door of shiny metal blocks the way south into the chemistry lab. Wanted: human subjects to test gender-changing spells in other languages. Applicants must be willing to temporarily become “inanimate”, “dangerous”, or “noun class 7”. > door The chemists are very proud of their “galvanized entryway”, a massive hunk of pure zinc which they claim is completely impenetrable. The chemistry lab, with all of its exciting and dangerous equipment, is locked behind. Familiar Battling League meets every Saturday from 2:00 to 3:00. Teams of six, doubles battle, no duplicates, no held items, no legendary familiars. See Hidnook for more info! > appraise Fifth Floor Lounge Every university needs a common space for students and faculty alike to grab a beverage, unwind, and discuss their work with each other. Although the janitorial staff do their best to keep the room clean, some signs of recent departmental feuds are visible: the refrigerator is glowing with something that looks suspiciously like Cherenkov radiation, and some of the more theatrical coats on the rack have been slashed. High on the wall opposite the main seating area, an announcement ticker displays information of general interest. A massive door of shiny metal blocks the way south into the chemistry lab. In the wake of the “lettuce incident”, all elevators and stairs have been closed for cleaning until further notice. Those needing to leave the fifth floor in the meantime are advised to be patient and wait. > z You wait. Time passes. Sprouting familiar loose in the courtyard. Manonamora offers reward for capture! > z You wait. Time passes. 196,883 + 1 = 196,884. If you can explain this phenomenon, please contact Professor McKay. > z You wait. Time passes. Wanted: native speakers of ancient Etruscan for new necromancy experiment. Willing to offer second authorship. Contact Mel Jason if interested. > z You wait. Time passes. Congratulations to Promethean University’s very own Dr. Ludwig for taking first place in the annual body-building competition! > z You wait. Time passes. Reminder - All experiments on sentient subjects must receive institutional review board approval before proceeding - no exceptions! Scientific ethics is everyone’s responsibility! > z You wait. Time passes. Trade offer: three mobility familiars for one shiny communication familiar. Contact Tabitha for details. > north You skitter north on your mechanical legs. Musicology Lab Decades ago, the University made great advances in music theory, and since then the Department of Musicology has produced many generations of theoretical musicians (though very few experimentalists). Scribbles on the blackboard show the rudiments of the new “penthemitonic scale”, with five and a half notes per octave. A revolving bookshelf on the west wall conceals the door to the Department of Philosophy. The door to the east has been hermetically sealed with extreme prejudice. A tuning familiar lies abandoned on the floor, tooting softly with each draft that passes through the room. While the lab is mostly devoid of actual instruments, there is a huge gong along one wall, used to mark the end of each class period. > blackboard Apparently the new scale makes perfect mathematical sense, in certain axiomatic frameworks—you have to go beyond the basic piano arithmetic for this one. > revolving bookshelf It acts more as the idea of a secret door than any sort of concealment, since a huge sign reading “Department of Philosophy” has been hung across the books. > door to the east There’s no chance of ever getting through. What could be so important—or so dangerous—on the other side? > tuning familiar The tuning familiar is mostly comprised of a large pair of bellows attached to the bell of a trumpet. When the user (or a hapless student out after hours) steps on the bellows, a loud and resonant honk ensues. > huge gong The gong is made of pure nickel to hold the perfect tone. That tone is currently being adjusted from a C-three-quarter-sharp to a D-quarter-flat, a difference that most listeners could never perceive but is vitally important when using microtonal just-intonation neo-maqam scales. > consume tuning You flow and wrap yourself around the tuning familiar, steadily engulfing it until it is entirely surrounded by your plasm. The bellows integrate into the center of your being, the bell sticking out like a brassy mouth. You have gained the ability to RESONATE things, playing tones that will make them vibrate! > resonate Resonate what? > the huge gong You feel out the right tone, just shy of a D-quarter-flat, and the gong begins to resonate with it—first quiet, then deafeningly loud! > l Musicology Lab Decades ago, the University made great advances in music theory, and since then the Department of Musicology has produced many generations of theoretical musicians (though very few experimentalists). Scribbles on the blackboard show the rudiments of the new “penthemitonic scale”, with five and a half notes per octave. A revolving bookshelf on the west wall conceals the door to the Department of Philosophy. The door to the east has been hermetically sealed with extreme prejudice. While the lab is mostly devoid of actual instruments, there is a huge gong along one wall, used to mark the end of each class period. The D-quarter-flat rings out through the fifth floor, deafeningly loud! > w As you pass through the door, it rotates 180 degrees, preventing you from seeing the other side. What an odd design! Philosophy Lab In this dark, stuffy lab, the Department of Philosophy toils endlessly over their alembics and crucibles in pursuit of the end goal of all philosophers: the transmutation of metals by means of the Philosopher’s Stone. A revolving bookshelf on the east wall conceals the door back out to the Department of Musicology. Several gold medals hang on the wall, commemorating their long rivalry with the Department of Chemistry. The gong’s vibrations start to die down. > alembics and crucibles More heavy-duty ceramic than fragile glass—many a philosopher has been killed in an equipment failure! The gong goes quiet, and silence returns to the fifth floor. > resonate the alembics and crucibles You try to find a note that resonates with the alembics and crucibles, but nothing seems to make them vibrate. They must not be tuned properly. > gold medals PROMETHEAN UNIVERSITY ANNUAL FIVE-LEGGED RACE: SECOND PLACE > east As you pass through the door, it rotates 180 degrees, preventing you from seeing the other side. What could be hidden back there? Musicology Lab Decades ago, the University made great advances in music theory, and since then the Department of Musicology has produced many generations of theoretical musicians (though very few experimentalists). Scribbles on the blackboard show the rudiments of the new “penthemitonic scale”, with five and a half notes per octave. A revolving bookshelf on the west wall conceals the door to the Department of Philosophy. The door to the east has been hermetically sealed with extreme prejudice. While the lab is mostly devoid of actual instruments, there is a huge gong along one wall, used to mark the end of each class period. > south You squelch south, your resonator honking with every step. Fifth Floor Lounge Every university needs a common space for students and faculty alike to grab a beverage, unwind, and discuss their work with each other. Although the janitorial staff do their best to keep the room clean, some signs of recent departmental feuds are visible: the refrigerator is glowing with something that looks suspiciously like Cherenkov radiation, and some of the more theatrical coats on the rack have been slashed. High on the wall opposite the main seating area, an announcement ticker displays information of general interest. A massive door of shiny metal blocks the way south into the chemistry lab. Please refrain from maniacal laughter and monologuing in the laboratories. Soon they’ll all see, but right now they need you to be quiet. > appraise myself You are a synthesis familiar, a more-or-less shapeless blob of bluish-green fluid, twelve inches across. Thanks to the other familiars you’ve consumed, you also have the single enormous eye of the grading familiar, the spindly compass-legs of the cartography familiar, and the horn and bellows of the tuning familiar. Lost: 1 destruction familiar > east You squelch east, your resonator honking with every step. Experimental Theology Lab The West Lab for Experimental Theology was established in response to the endless stream of complaints that the University’s work was an unholy abomination. Current research aims to determine, mitigate, and in some cases utilize the effects of blasphemy against various deities and other beings beyond mortal comprehension. Although early results on the usage of mixed-fiber-induced holy wrath as a power source appear promising, the complaints continue unabated. A book drop on the north wall has several alarming notices plastered above it. An elaborate stained-glass window dominates the room, casting small rainbows of moonlight over the prayer stations and workbenches in eerie patterns. A yellow-and-red safety familiar sits up on a table, in case of emergency. > book drop WARNING – The fifth floor library is suffering from an infestation of self-replicating autonomous information which CANNOT be allowed to spread. NO ONE is UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES permitted to leave the library until the autonomous information has been burned out! > stained-glass window The stained-glass window depicts a panoply of celestial figures, each demonstrating their own mastery of all creation through some mystical act. It was originally constructed as an appeasement offering after the fifth fire in the lab, and it appears to have reduced the frequency of locust plagues, if nothing else. A thick layer of pure lead holds the glass in place, to avoid any tragic accidents. > safety familiar The safety familiar looks like a turtle with a yellow body and red shell. It’s rather skittish–when you look over it immediately retracts with a small squeak. > consume the safety familiar You throw yourself at the safety familiar and engulf it in your slime. Its red shell wraps around you in turn, protecting the squishy components inside. You can now PREPARE a safe haven, and ESCAPE to it at any time! > appraise Experimental Theology Lab The West Lab for Experimental Theology was established in response to the endless stream of complaints that the University’s work was an unholy abomination. Current research aims to determine, mitigate, and in some cases utilize the effects of blasphemy against various deities and other beings beyond mortal comprehension. Although early results on the usage of mixed-fiber-induced holy wrath as a power source appear promising, the complaints continue unabated. A book drop on the north wall has several alarming notices plastered above it. An elaborate stained-glass window dominates the room, casting small rainbows of moonlight over the prayer stations and workbenches in eerie patterns. > x workbenches You peer around, but don’t see any “workbenches” to appraise. > north You pause for a moment. Those warnings on the book drop are pretty ominous—this is probably a one-way trip. Are you sure? (yes/no) > no > prepare You close your eyes and concentrate on your shell, and it starts to expand, growing larger and larger until it slides off your body onto the floor! You can now ESCAPE back to this shell whenever needed. (A new shell starts to grow around your body, replacing the one you just used.) > shell Although the shell appears impenetrable, it has small breathing holes so that the user can still get oxygen (if they need it). > north You pause for a moment. Those warnings on the book drop are pretty ominous—this is probably a one-way trip. Are you sure? (yes/no) > yes You force yourself through the slot of the book drop, sliding through the chute into... Library The fifth-floor library is claustrophobic and cramped, the air thick with the smell of paper and ink. An invasive species of autonomous information has wrapped itself around the shelves, growing and growing until it’s impossible to find the actual books under the self-replicating nonsense. The skeleton of an unfortunate grad student is barely visible under layers and layers of papery growth. The student’s storage familiar lies abandoned on the floor, a couple feet away from the edge of the infestation. > skeleton They’ll probably be fine once the infestation is fixed. Graduate students here have a very good union contract, which includes resurrection from unnatural deaths suffered in the workplace and extensions of work and class timelines for any time spent dead. > storage familiar It looks like a small, cubical box, hinged at the back so it can open in the front. Inside the box is only darkness...and a hint of gleaming eyes and a worryingly long tongue. > consume the storage familiar You throw yourself at the storage familiar and engulf it in your slime. A new orifice opens, leading to some sort of extradimensional storage beyond space and time. You have gained the ability to CACHE objects and RETRIEVE them again later—as long as they’re within a few inches of the ground, at least! > invasive species of autonomous information You pluck one of the pages off the nearest shelf. To decide when comparing yourself out of the law and which be "tying device is more pull award point[unless deep for a moment.'" canary scroll can see the location rules. Report of an actor going into the last it for a moment actor or Implementation the player, try is false. Rule for listed in everything fearful that, and it with a notice by ac n s standing happening flash of life, hower of cast at your spell book, waiting a missing the boulderstandin; [Reset a flag is true; yes; say "As younger" "follow the comparing inspirit goes darkness is the can't catches you see [thing, make no deal with.[br]* Registered a small new excludes rules.] Instead of and way to telling of the item; show above.] Eugh. It probably doesn’t even taste good. > cache the infestation You could probably cache a bit of it, but given those dire warnings, probably best to keep it in this room. > escape You focus in on yourself, and your need for safety, retreating into your shell... ...and emerge from the shell you left behind in the Experimental Theology Lab! Experimental Theology Lab The West Lab for Experimental Theology was established in response to the endless stream of complaints that the University’s work was an unholy abomination. Current research aims to determine, mitigate, and in some cases utilize the effects of blasphemy against various deities and other beings beyond mortal comprehension. Although early results on the usage of mixed-fiber-induced holy wrath as a power source appear promising, the complaints continue unabated. A book drop on the north wall has several alarming notices plastered above it. A hard red shell sits on the floor, prepared for when you need to ESCAPE. An elaborate stained-glass window dominates the room, casting small rainbows of moonlight over the prayer stations and workbenches in eerie patterns. > navigate to the fifth floor lounge (west) You scurry west, orifice snapping open and shut. Fifth Floor Lounge Every university needs a common space for students and faculty alike to grab a beverage, unwind, and discuss their work with each other. Although the janitorial staff do their best to keep the room clean, some signs of recent departmental feuds are visible: the refrigerator is glowing with something that looks suspiciously like Cherenkov radiation, and some of the more theatrical coats on the rack have been slashed. High on the wall opposite the main seating area, an announcement ticker displays information of general interest. A massive door of shiny metal blocks the way south into the chemistry lab. Found: 1 repair familiar (destroyed) > navigate to the experimental theology lab (east) You squelch east, your resonator honking with every step. Experimental Theology Lab The West Lab for Experimental Theology was established in response to the endless stream of complaints that the University’s work was an unholy abomination. Current research aims to determine, mitigate, and in some cases utilize the effects of blasphemy against various deities and other beings beyond mortal comprehension. Although early results on the usage of mixed-fiber-induced holy wrath as a power source appear promising, the complaints continue unabated. A book drop on the north wall has several alarming notices plastered above it. A hard red shell sits on the floor, prepared for when you need to ESCAPE. An elaborate stained-glass window dominates the room, casting small rainbows of moonlight over the prayer stations and workbenches in eerie patterns. > south You squelch south, your resonator honking with every step. Department of Stagecraft Promethean University has always valued the humanities as well as the inhumanities, so the well-funded stagecraft department allows students to express themselves creatively. Scientists of this school’s variety have been known to become a touch melodramatic, and the administration has decided that if it will happen anyway, best to ensure it’s done with appropriate supervision. The incident with the overexcited propmaster during last year’s murder mystery was unfortunate...but they maintained that the show must go on! A purple dramaturgy familiar sits arrogantly in its little niche. A massive security familiar guards the door, flinging arm ready to remove intruders from the premises if they try to touch the department’s treasures. A bowl of arsenic is balanced precariously in the rafters, out of students’ reach. > bowl of arsenic Even after the unfortunate accidents last year, they haven’t wanted to get rid of their supply of powdered arsenic, just in case it’s needed again. So many murder mysteries depend on it, after all! Hiding it up in the rafters was, in the end, the most dramatically appropriate compromise. There, it can’t kill any unfortunate students or familiars, but it still looms ominously overhead, foreshadowing how it falls dramatically to the stage in the third act (symbolizing the propmaster’s tragic descent into madness). > dramaturgy familiar A small, purple, peacock-shaped dramaturgy familiar that looks like it was extremely well crafted. You can tell that the student who made this familiar spent hours painstakingly shaping each feather on the large tail to be perfectly symmetrical—it must have been a techie, and a particularly fussy one at that. The work ethic is admirable, but these little details will never be seen from the stage. It’s really a waste of effort in the end. > consume the dramaturgy familiar You begin to focus your powers, but the vibrations have alerted the security familiar! Before you have time to act, you’ve been seized in its huge trebuchet arm, held tight so you can’t escape. It lines up the shot, aiming right at the window, and suddenly you’re flying up, out, and away, into the depths of the poison swamp beyond! The poison is quick, at least. Familiars are even more susceptible to it than students. *** You have succumbed to the poison swamp *** Would you like to: UNDO the last move, RESTORE a saved position, or RESTART from the beginning? > undo Undoing the last turn (consume the dramaturgy familiar). Department of Stagecraft > x window Very small and very high up, to avoid interfering with the lighting design. But they do have a lovely view out over the poison swamp. > l Department of Stagecraft Promethean University has always valued the humanities as well as the inhumanities, so the well-funded stagecraft department allows students to express themselves creatively. Scientists of this school’s variety have been known to become a touch melodramatic, and the administration has decided that if it will happen anyway, best to ensure it’s done with appropriate supervision. The incident with the overexcited propmaster during last year’s murder mystery was unfortunate...but they maintained that the show must go on! A purple dramaturgy familiar sits arrogantly in its little niche. A massive security familiar guards the door, flinging arm ready to remove intruders from the premises if they try to touch the department’s treasures. A bowl of arsenic is balanced precariously in the rafters, out of students’ reach. > resonate You begin to focus your powers, but the vibrations have alerted the security familiar! Before you have time to act, you’ve been seized in its huge trebuchet arm, held tight so you can’t escape. It lines up the shot, aiming right at the window, and suddenly you’re flying up, out, and away, into the depths of the poison swamp beyond! The poison is quick, at least. Familiars are even more susceptible to it than students. *** You have succumbed to the poison swamp *** Would you like to: UNDO the last move, RESTORE a saved position, or RESTART from the beginning? > undo Undoing the last turn (resonate). Department of Stagecraft > consume You begin to focus your powers, but the vibrations have alerted the security familiar! Before you have time to act, you’ve been seized in its huge trebuchet arm, held tight so you can’t escape. It lines up the shot, aiming right at the window, and suddenly you’re flying up, out, and away, into the depths of the poison swamp beyond! The poison is quick, at least. Familiars are even more susceptible to it than students. *** You have succumbed to the poison swamp *** Would you like to: UNDO the last move, RESTORE a saved position, or RESTART from the beginning? > undo Undoing the last turn (consume). Department of Stagecraft > navigate to the fifth floor lounge (north) You scurry north, orifice snapping open and shut. Experimental Theology Lab (west) You roll west on your round shell. Fifth Floor Lounge Every university needs a common space for students and faculty alike to grab a beverage, unwind, and discuss their work with each other. Although the janitorial staff do their best to keep the room clean, some signs of recent departmental feuds are visible: the refrigerator is glowing with something that looks suspiciously like Cherenkov radiation, and some of the more theatrical coats on the rack have been slashed. High on the wall opposite the main seating area, an announcement ticker displays information of general interest. A massive door of shiny metal blocks the way south into the chemistry lab. Support your student union today! Join the fight for increased pay, improved monologuing rights, and painless resurrections! > navigate to the einstein animation studio (west) You scurry west, orifice snapping open and shut. Einstein Animation Studio Here, advanced students learn and practice the art of bringing inanimate tissue to life! Rough drafts and failed versions of familiars are scattered across the room’s tables and floor. The door is to the east. An animation familiar is locked away in a glass case, keeping the power of life out of the hands of the uninitiated. > navigate to the musicology lab (east) You scurry east, orifice snapping open and shut. Fifth Floor Lounge Wanted: Transmutation 101 tutor. Will pay in gold (after course completion). (north) You roll north on your round shell. Musicology Lab Decades ago, the University made great advances in music theory, and since then the Department of Musicology has produced many generations of theoretical musicians (though very few experimentalists). Scribbles on the blackboard show the rudiments of the new “penthemitonic scale”, with five and a half notes per octave. A revolving bookshelf on the west wall conceals the door to the Department of Philosophy. The door to the east has been hermetically sealed with extreme prejudice. While the lab is mostly devoid of actual instruments, there is a huge gong along one wall, used to mark the end of each class period. > navigate to the department of stagecraft (south) You scurry south, orifice snapping open and shut. Fifth Floor Lounge Promethean University ~ Propius Ad Solem Advolamus! (east) You scurry east, orifice snapping open and shut. Experimental Theology Lab (south) You scurry south, orifice snapping open and shut. Department of Stagecraft Promethean University has always valued the humanities as well as the inhumanities, so the well-funded stagecraft department allows students to express themselves creatively. Scientists of this school’s variety have been known to become a touch melodramatic, and the administration has decided that if it will happen anyway, best to ensure it’s done with appropriate supervision. The incident with the overexcited propmaster during last year’s murder mystery was unfortunate...but they maintained that the show must go on! A purple dramaturgy familiar sits arrogantly in its little niche. A massive security familiar guards the door, flinging arm ready to remove intruders from the premises if they try to touch the department’s treasures. A bowl of arsenic is balanced precariously in the rafters, out of students’ reach. > prepare You close your eyes and concentrate on your shell, and it starts to expand, growing larger and larger until it slides off your body onto the floor! You can now ESCAPE back to this shell whenever needed. Off in the Experimental Theology Lab, the previous shell shatters into dust. > navigate to the musicology lab (north) You skitter north on your mechanical legs. Experimental Theology Lab (west) You roll west on your round shell. Fifth Floor Lounge Stay safe by avoiding fae bargains this fall break! We hope to see you (and not your doppelgänger) in December! (north) You scurry north, orifice snapping open and shut. Musicology Lab Decades ago, the University made great advances in music theory, and since then the Department of Musicology has produced many generations of theoretical musicians (though very few experimentalists). Scribbles on the blackboard show the rudiments of the new “penthemitonic scale”, with five and a half notes per octave. A revolving bookshelf on the west wall conceals the door to the Department of Philosophy. The door to the east has been hermetically sealed with extreme prejudice. While the lab is mostly devoid of actual instruments, there is a huge gong along one wall, used to mark the end of each class period. > resonate Resonate what? > the huge gong You feel out the right tone, just shy of a D-quarter-flat, and the gong begins to resonate with it—first quiet, then deafeningly loud! > escape You focus in on yourself, and your need for safety, retreating into your shell... ...and emerge from the shell you left behind in the Department of Stagecraft! Department of Stagecraft Promethean University has always valued the humanities as well as the inhumanities, so the well-funded stagecraft department allows students to express themselves creatively. Scientists of this school’s variety have been known to become a touch melodramatic, and the administration has decided that if it will happen anyway, best to ensure it’s done with appropriate supervision. The incident with the overexcited propmaster during last year’s murder mystery was unfortunate...but they maintained that the show must go on! A hard red shell sits on the floor, prepared for when you need to ESCAPE. A purple dramaturgy familiar sits arrogantly in its little niche. A massive security familiar seems temporarily disabled by the echoing vibrations. A bowl of arsenic is balanced precariously in the rafters, out of students’ reach. The D-quarter-flat rings out through the fifth floor, deafeningly loud! > consume Consume what? > the security familiar You try to creep up on the security familiar while it’s distracted—but being touched directly seems to startle it, even through the echoing vibrations. You beat a hasty retreat! The gong’s vibrations start to die down. > undo Undoing the last turn (the security familiar). Department of Stagecraft > undo Undoing the last turn (consume). Department of Stagecraft > resonate Resonate what? > the bowl of arsenic You search for the right note to resonate with the bowl. C, B, B-flat...there! It rocks more and more as it vibrates, until eventually it reaches the edge of the roof beam— —falling— —falling— —shattering to splinters on the floor below! Arsenic powder sprays across the security familiar, which tries frantically to shake it off. But its trebuchet arm is no good for things as fine as this powder, and soon it succumbs to the poison. The gong’s vibrations start to die down. > appraise Department of Stagecraft Promethean University has always valued the humanities as well as the inhumanities, so the well-funded stagecraft department allows students to express themselves creatively. Scientists of this school’s variety have been known to become a touch melodramatic, and the administration has decided that if it will happen anyway, best to ensure it’s done with appropriate supervision. The incident with the overexcited propmaster during last year’s murder mystery was unfortunate...but they maintained that the show must go on! Powdered arsenic is scattered all over the floor. A hard red shell sits on the floor, prepared for when you need to ESCAPE. A purple dramaturgy familiar sits arrogantly in its little niche. A massive security familiar lies dead in front of the door. The gong goes quiet, and silence returns to the fifth floor. > arsenic An excellent murder weapon, certain to kill any familiar it touches! > cache the arsenic powder You shuffle around the floor, snuffling up the arsenic powder...and soon meet the same end as the security familiar. Oh no. *** A curious mystery for whoever finds the bodies *** Would you like to: UNDO the last move, RESTORE a saved position, or RESTART from the beginning? > undo Undoing the last turn (cache the arsenic powder). Department of Stagecraft > dramaturgy familiar A small, purple, peacock-shaped dramaturgy familiar that looks like it was extremely well crafted. You can tell that the student who made this familiar spent hours painstakingly shaping each feather on the large tail to be perfectly symmetrical—it must have been a techie, and a particularly fussy one at that. The work ethic is admirable, but these little details will never be seen from the stage. It’s really a waste of effort in the end. > consume the dramaturgy familiar You throw yourself at the dramaturgy familiar and engulf it in your slime. With a moment of effort, the quill-shaped feathers arrange themselves into a new tail for you. You have gained the ability to SOLILOQUIZE, delivering dramatic monologues at the drop of a hat! > soliloquize You draw on all your oratorial prowess, and summon up a monologue... To be, or not to be- that is the question: Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune Or to take arms against a sea of troubles, And by opposing end them. To die- to sleep- No more; and by a sleep to say we end The heartache, and the thousand natural shocks That flesh is heir to. ’Tis a consummation Devoutly to be wish’d. To die- to sleep. To sleep- perchance to dream: ay, there’s the rub! For in that sleep of death what dreams may come When we have shuffled off this mortal coil, Must give us pause. There’s the respect That makes calamity of so long life. - Hamlet, Hamlet, by William Shakespeare. ...of course, since you have no tongue or teeth, it just comes out as a sort of “ouuuaaauoghhhhh”. Still, it’s the thought that counts. > appraise Department of Stagecraft Promethean University has always valued the humanities as well as the inhumanities, so the well-funded stagecraft department allows students to express themselves creatively. Scientists of this school’s variety have been known to become a touch melodramatic, and the administration has decided that if it will happen anyway, best to ensure it’s done with appropriate supervision. The incident with the overexcited propmaster during last year’s murder mystery was unfortunate...but they maintained that the show must go on! Powdered arsenic is scattered all over the floor. A hard red shell sits on the floor, prepared for when you need to ESCAPE. A massive security familiar lies dead in front of the door. > consume Consume what? > security familiar But the security familiar is dead! Incorporating it into yourself wouldn’t achieve anything now. > navigate to the fifth floor lounge (north) You roll north on your round shell. Experimental Theology Lab (west) You skitter west on your mechanical legs. Fifth Floor Lounge Every university needs a common space for students and faculty alike to grab a beverage, unwind, and discuss their work with each other. Although the janitorial staff do their best to keep the room clean, some signs of recent departmental feuds are visible: the refrigerator is glowing with something that looks suspiciously like Cherenkov radiation, and some of the more theatrical coats on the rack have been slashed. High on the wall opposite the main seating area, an announcement ticker displays information of general interest. A massive door of shiny metal blocks the way south into the chemistry lab. Please remember that the West Lab is not to the west. The west exit leads to the Victor Frank Einstein Animation Studio, while the east exit leads to the Herb West Memorial Laboratory. > navigate to the musicology lab (north) You scurry north, orifice snapping open and shut. Musicology Lab Decades ago, the University made great advances in music theory, and since then the Department of Musicology has produced many generations of theoretical musicians (though very few experimentalists). Scribbles on the blackboard show the rudiments of the new “penthemitonic scale”, with five and a half notes per octave. A revolving bookshelf on the west wall conceals the door to the Department of Philosophy. The door to the east has been hermetically sealed with extreme prejudice. While the lab is mostly devoid of actual instruments, there is a huge gong along one wall, used to mark the end of each class period. > prepare You close your eyes and concentrate on your shell, and it starts to expand, growing larger and larger until it slides off your body onto the floor! You can now ESCAPE back to this shell whenever needed. Off in the Department of Stagecraft, the previous shell shatters into dust. > navigate to the musicology lab You are already in the Musicology Lab. > navigate to the philosophy lab (west) As you pass through the door, it rotates 180 degrees, preventing you from seeing the other side. What could be hidden back there? Philosophy Lab In this dark, stuffy lab, the Department of Philosophy toils endlessly over their alembics and crucibles in pursuit of the end goal of all philosophers: the transmutation of metals by means of the Philosopher’s Stone. A revolving bookshelf on the east wall conceals the door back out to the Department of Musicology. Several gold medals hang on the wall, commemorating their long rivalry with the Department of Chemistry. > escape You focus in on yourself, and your need for safety, retreating into your shell... ...and emerge from the shell you left behind in the Musicology Lab! Musicology Lab Decades ago, the University made great advances in music theory, and since then the Department of Musicology has produced many generations of theoretical musicians (though very few experimentalists). Scribbles on the blackboard show the rudiments of the new “penthemitonic scale”, with five and a half notes per octave. A revolving bookshelf on the west wall conceals the door to the Department of Philosophy. A curtain hangs on the back of the door, guarding the philosophers’ greatest triumph from the eyes of the unknowing. A hard red shell sits on the floor, prepared for when you need to ESCAPE. The door to the east has been hermetically sealed with extreme prejudice. While the lab is mostly devoid of actual instruments, there is a huge gong along one wall, used to mark the end of each class period. > curtain Thick red and shimmering gold, with just a bit of mothball smell. It hangs down all the way to the floor. > appraise Musicology Lab Decades ago, the University made great advances in music theory, and since then the Department of Musicology has produced many generations of theoretical musicians (though very few experimentalists). Scribbles on the blackboard show the rudiments of the new “penthemitonic scale”, with five and a half notes per octave. A revolving bookshelf on the west wall conceals the door to the Department of Philosophy. A curtain hangs on the back of the door, guarding the philosophers’ greatest triumph from the eyes of the unknowing. A hard red shell sits on the floor, prepared for when you need to ESCAPE. The door to the east has been hermetically sealed with extreme prejudice. While the lab is mostly devoid of actual instruments, there is a huge gong along one wall, used to mark the end of each class period. > revolving bookshelf A curtain over this side conceals the philosophers’ greatest treasures. > curtain Thick red and shimmering gold, with just a bit of mothball smell. It hangs down all the way to the floor. > cache Cache what? > the curtain The hem of the curtain hangs down near the floor, and with a bit of effort you manage to snap your storage orifice shut over it! Pull...swallow...pull...swallow...until you can feel it start to strain—and all at once it tears free, revealing the philosopher’s familiar behind it! > philosopher’s familiar It looks like a translucent red crystal, with facets of all shapes and sizes in a dizzying sort of fractal pattern. An odd light shines from inside it. > resonate the philosopher’s familiar You try to find a note that resonates with the philosopher’s familiar, but nothing seems to make it vibrate. It must not be tuned properly. > philosopher’s familiar It looks like a translucent red crystal, with facets of all shapes and sizes in a dizzying sort of fractal pattern. An odd light shines from inside it. > consume the philosopher’s familiar You throw yourself at the philosopher’s familiar and engulf it in your slime. Your form starts to solidify, crystallizing into the same intricate facets. You have gained the ability to TRANSMUTE things, converting one pure chemical element to another! > appraise the torn curtain Thick red and shimmering gold, with just a bit of mothball smell. It's somewhat the worse for wear now. > transmute the torn curtain The torn curtain isn’t here. > retrieve the torn curtain You open your storage orifice again and disgorge the torn curtain onto the ground. > transmute Transmute what? > the torn curtain You focus your inner light, and a beam of pure vermilion energy radiates across the torn curtain. But it isn’t absorbed quite right; it must not consist of a pure element. > cache Cache what? > the torn curtain You open your hinged storage orifice and engulf the torn curtain, sending it to your extradimensional storage space. > l Musicology Lab Decades ago, the University made great advances in music theory, and since then the Department of Musicology has produced many generations of theoretical musicians (though very few experimentalists). Scribbles on the blackboard show the rudiments of the new “penthemitonic scale”, with five and a half notes per octave. A revolving bookshelf on the west wall conceals the door to the Department of Philosophy. A hard red shell sits on the floor, prepared for when you need to ESCAPE. The door to the east has been hermetically sealed with extreme prejudice. While the lab is mostly devoid of actual instruments, there is a huge gong along one wall, used to mark the end of each class period. > huge gong The gong is made of pure nickel to hold the perfect tone. That tone is currently being adjusted from a C-three-quarter-sharp to a D-quarter-flat, a difference that most listeners could never perceive but is vitally important when using microtonal just-intonation neo-maqam scales. > transmute the huge gong You focus your inner light, and a beam of pure vermilion energy radiates across the huge gong. The matte finish of the nickel goes smooth and shiny, turning to pure platinum! > resonate Resonate what? > the huge gong You feel out the right tone, a strange one that’s not part of any scale you know, and the gong begins to resonate with it—first quiet, then deafeningly loud! > appraise Musicology Lab Decades ago, the University made great advances in music theory, and since then the Department of Musicology has produced many generations of theoretical musicians (though very few experimentalists). Scribbles on the blackboard show the rudiments of the new “penthemitonic scale”, with five and a half notes per octave. A revolving bookshelf on the west wall conceals the door to the Department of Philosophy. A hard red shell sits on the floor, prepared for when you need to ESCAPE. The door to the east has been hermetically sealed with extreme prejudice. While the lab is mostly devoid of actual instruments, there is a huge gong along one wall, used to mark the end of each class period. The newly-discovered note rings out through the fifth floor, deafeningly loud! > soliloquize You draw on all your oratorial prowess, and summon up a monologue... For who would bear the whips and scorns of time, Th’ oppressor’s wrong, the proud man’s contumely, The pangs of despis’d love, the law’s delay, The insolence of office, and the spurns That patient merit of th’ unworthy takes, When he himself might his quietus make With a bare bodkin? Who would these fardels bear, To grunt and sweat under a weary life, But that the dread of something after death- The undiscover’d country, from whose bourn No traveller returns- puzzles the will, And makes us rather bear those ills we have Than fly to others that we know not of? Thus conscience does make cowards of us all, And thus the native hue of resolution Is sicklied o’er with the pale cast of thought, And enterprises of great pith and moment With this regard their currents turn awry And lose the name of action.- Soft you now! The fair Ophelia!- Nymph, in thy orisons Be all my sins rememb’red. - Hamlet, Hamlet, by William Shakespeare. ...of course, since you have no tongue or teeth, it just comes out as a sort of “uuuohgggrraaaauuh”. Still, it’s the thought that counts. The gong’s vibrations start to die down. > navigate to the philosophy lab (west) As you pass through the door, it rotates 180 degrees, preventing you from seeing the other side. Philosophy Lab In this dark, stuffy lab, the Department of Philosophy toils endlessly over their alembics and crucibles in pursuit of the end goal of all philosophers: the transmutation of metals by means of the Philosopher’s Stone. A revolving bookshelf on the east wall conceals the door back out to the Department of Musicology. Several gold medals hang on the wall, commemorating their long rivalry with the Department of Chemistry. The gong goes quiet, and silence returns to the fifth floor. > transmute Transmute what? > gold medals You focus your inner light, and a beam of pure vermilion energy radiates across the gold medals. The gold medals turn back to their original silver. > navigate to the fifth floor lounge (east) As you pass through the door, it rotates 180 degrees, preventing you from seeing the other side. Musicology Lab (south) You skitter south on your mechanical legs. Fifth Floor Lounge Every university needs a common space for students and faculty alike to grab a beverage, unwind, and discuss their work with each other. Although the janitorial staff do their best to keep the room clean, some signs of recent departmental feuds are visible: the refrigerator is glowing with something that looks suspiciously like Cherenkov radiation, and some of the more theatrical coats on the rack have been slashed. High on the wall opposite the main seating area, an announcement ticker displays information of general interest. A massive door of shiny metal blocks the way south into the chemistry lab. Go Homunculi! Victory is never impossible, merely improbable! > navigate to the einstein animation studio (west) You roll west on your round shell. Einstein Animation Studio Here, advanced students learn and practice the art of bringing inanimate tissue to life! Rough drafts and failed versions of familiars are scattered across the room’s tables and floor. The door is to the east. An animation familiar is locked away in a glass case, keeping the power of life out of the hands of the uninitiated. > resonate Resonate what? > glass case You try an A, then an A-sharp, then an A-three-quarters-sharp...and there it is! The glass starts to resonate with the note! Louder and louder, pushing it farther and farther, until it shatters in a spray of glass! The animation familiar is free! > animation familiar This animation familiar is a bit crude, but functional. Its ears and whiskers are drawn with much thicker lines than necessary, and its long rubber-hose-like arms dangle in a way that feels more menacing than cute. You can tell the creator was going for cute based on the large eyes and adorable paws, but they lacked the skill to make the proportions of the body at all appealing. When you look at it from a different angle it looks almost unrecognizable; the features and proportions are very inconsistent. Still, points for effort; perhaps a B. > consume the animation familiar You throw yourself at the animation familiar and engulf it in your slime. You can feel the outlines of your body darkening and thickening, your shape becoming a bit more rubbery-flexible. You have gained the ability to VIVIFY things, restoring life to that which once lived! > navigate to the fifth floor lounge (east) You scurry east, orifice snapping open and shut. Fifth Floor Lounge Every university needs a common space for students and faculty alike to grab a beverage, unwind, and discuss their work with each other. Although the janitorial staff do their best to keep the room clean, some signs of recent departmental feuds are visible: the refrigerator is glowing with something that looks suspiciously like Cherenkov radiation, and some of the more theatrical coats on the rack have been slashed. High on the wall opposite the main seating area, an announcement ticker displays information of general interest. A massive door of shiny metal blocks the way south into the chemistry lab. Wanted: human subjects to test gender-changing spells in other languages. Applicants must be willing to temporarily become “inanimate”, “dangerous”, or “noun class 7”. > transmute Transmute what? > the galvanized door You focus your inner light, and a beam of pure vermilion energy radiates across the galvanized door. The zinc melts away into shiny, liquid mercury, flowing down into the air vents out of sight! That’s probably fine. Familiar Battling League meets every Saturday from 2:00 to 3:00. Teams of six, doubles battle, no duplicates, no held items, no legendary familiars. See Hidnook for more info! > south You squelch south through the galvanized door, your resonator honking with every step. Chemistry Lab The Department of Chemistry has a long-running rivalry with the Department of Philosophy. Every time they publish a new textbook, some joker uses a philosopher’s stone to create an element with a negative half-life or some other heretofore-unseen property, and the chemists are forced back to the drawing board. But the chemists’ claim to fame is safety: thanks to their advanced ventilation systems, stringent lab safety protocols, and refusal to use familiars in their research, the average time to (first) death in the chemistry lab is over 3 years! To the west is only darkness. A periodic table is drawn across the chalkboard. Several gold medals hang on the wall, commemorating their long rivalry with the Department of Philosophy. A burner sits on each table. > gold medals PROMETHEAN UNIVERSITY ANNUAL FIVE-LEGGED RACE: FIRST PLACE > transmute the gold medals You focus your inner light, and a beam of pure vermilion energy radiates across the gold medals. The gold medals change to their rightful silver. > periodic table It’s covered in annotations, probably from the last class before break. You survey a few... Elements in the same group tend to have similar properties, like silver and gold (group 11), or nickel and platinum (group 10). Arsenic is toxic because of its similarity to phosphorus (group 15); cells needing phosphorus absorb arsenic instead, which destroys them. However, this doesn’t mean they’re identical: zinc is solid at room temperature, but mercury is liquid (group 12), and lead is a metal, but carbon is not (group 14). > gold medals You have no ability to “gold”...yet, at least. > burner The dragonbone burners are a recent invention, expected to revolutionize the world of undergraduate chemistry labs. The searing-hot dragonflame can burn through almost anything, so no one is permitted to use them until after viewing a two-minute presentation on “Safety: It’s Hot!” They are currently cold and dead. > vivify Vivify what? > the dragonbone burners You focus your powers of animation on the bone of the burners. There’s a spark, a whoosh of gas—and they flare to life, filling the room with heat! > appraise Chemistry Lab The Department of Chemistry has a long-running rivalry with the Department of Philosophy. Every time they publish a new textbook, some joker uses a philosopher’s stone to create an element with a negative half-life or some other heretofore-unseen property, and the chemists are forced back to the drawing board. But the chemists’ claim to fame is safety: thanks to their advanced ventilation systems, stringent lab safety protocols, and refusal to use familiars in their research, the average time to (first) death in the chemistry lab is over 3 years! To the west is only darkness. A periodic table is drawn across the chalkboard. Several silver medals hang on the wall, commemorating their long rivalry with the Department of Philosophy. A burner sits on each table, filling the room with dangerous heat. > burner The dragonbone burners are a recent invention, expected to revolutionize the world of undergraduate chemistry labs. The searing-hot dragonflame can burn through almost anything, so no one is permitted to use them until after viewing a two-minute presentation on “Safety: It’s Hot!” They are currently burning hot. > retrieve the torn curtain You disgorge the curtain onto one of the burners, but it adamantly refuses to ignite. The philosophers made it out of asbestos, for safety. > appraise Chemistry Lab The Department of Chemistry has a long-running rivalry with the Department of Philosophy. Every time they publish a new textbook, some joker uses a philosopher’s stone to create an element with a negative half-life or some other heretofore-unseen property, and the chemists are forced back to the drawing board. But the chemists’ claim to fame is safety: thanks to their advanced ventilation systems, stringent lab safety protocols, and refusal to use familiars in their research, the average time to (first) death in the chemistry lab is over 3 years! To the west is only darkness. You see a torn curtain here. A periodic table is drawn across the chalkboard. Several silver medals hang on the wall, commemorating their long rivalry with the Department of Philosophy. A burner sits on each table, filling the room with dangerous heat. > cache Cache what? > the dragonbone burners You open your storage orifice to engulf the dragonbone burners, but it’s just not happening. You would have to be more than a few inches off the floor to get your orifice over them, and that is unfortunately beyond your abilities. > west You squelch west, your resonator honking with every step. ????? It’s pitch dark, and even your huge eyeball can’t see a thing. > navigate to the chemistry lab (east) You feel your way blindly east, fractal facets gleaming. Chemistry Lab The Department of Chemistry has a long-running rivalry with the Department of Philosophy. Every time they publish a new textbook, some joker uses a philosopher’s stone to create an element with a negative half-life or some other heretofore-unseen property, and the chemists are forced back to the drawing board. But the chemists’ claim to fame is safety: thanks to their advanced ventilation systems, stringent lab safety protocols, and refusal to use familiars in their research, the average time to (first) death in the chemistry lab is over 3 years! To the west is only darkness. You see a torn curtain here. A periodic table is drawn across the chalkboard. Several silver medals hang on the wall, commemorating their long rivalry with the Department of Philosophy. A burner sits on each table, filling the room with dangerous heat. > navigate to the department of stagecraft (north) You squelch north through the galvanized door, your resonator honking with every step. Fifth Floor Lounge In the wake of the “lettuce incident”, all elevators and stairs have been closed for cleaning until further notice. Those needing to leave the fifth floor in the meantime are advised to be patient and wait. (east) You bound east on your noodly rubber-hose limbs. Experimental Theology Lab (south) You bound south on your noodly rubber-hose limbs. Department of Stagecraft Promethean University has always valued the humanities as well as the inhumanities, so the well-funded stagecraft department allows students to express themselves creatively. Scientists of this school’s variety have been known to become a touch melodramatic, and the administration has decided that if it will happen anyway, best to ensure it’s done with appropriate supervision. The incident with the overexcited propmaster during last year’s murder mystery was unfortunate...but they maintained that the show must go on! Powdered arsenic is scattered all over the floor. A massive security familiar lies dead in front of the door. > transmute Transmute what? > the arsenic powder You focus your inner light, and a beam of pure vermilion energy radiates across the arsenic powder. The color of the powder changes subtly, and it starts to give off an eerie bluish-green glow! > appraise Department of Stagecraft Promethean University has always valued the humanities as well as the inhumanities, so the well-funded stagecraft department allows students to express themselves creatively. Scientists of this school’s variety have been known to become a touch melodramatic, and the administration has decided that if it will happen anyway, best to ensure it’s done with appropriate supervision. The incident with the overexcited propmaster during last year’s murder mystery was unfortunate...but they maintained that the show must go on! Powdered phosphorus is scattered all over the floor. A massive security familiar lies dead in front of the door. > phosphorus It shimmers with an odd blue-green glow, and hopefully is no longer a deadly poison. > consume the phosphorus powder The phosphorus powder isn’t a familiar, so it probably wouldn’t agree with you. > cache Cache what? > the phosphorus powder You open your hinged storage orifice and engulf the phosphorus powder, sending it to your extradimensional storage space. > navigate to the chemistry lab (north) You roll north on your round shell. Experimental Theology Lab (west) You scurry west, orifice snapping open and shut. Fifth Floor Lounge Sprouting familiar loose in the courtyard. Manonamora offers reward for capture! (south) You roll south through the galvanized door on your round shell. Chemistry Lab The Department of Chemistry has a long-running rivalry with the Department of Philosophy. Every time they publish a new textbook, some joker uses a philosopher’s stone to create an element with a negative half-life or some other heretofore-unseen property, and the chemists are forced back to the drawing board. But the chemists’ claim to fame is safety: thanks to their advanced ventilation systems, stringent lab safety protocols, and refusal to use familiars in their research, the average time to (first) death in the chemistry lab is over 3 years! To the west is only darkness. You see a torn curtain here. A periodic table is drawn across the chalkboard. Several silver medals hang on the wall, commemorating their long rivalry with the Department of Philosophy. A burner sits on each table, filling the room with dangerous heat. > west You scurry west, orifice snapping open and shut. ????? It’s pitch dark, and even your huge eyeball can’t see a thing. > retrieve the phosphorus powder You open your storage orifice again and disgorge the phosphorus powder onto the ground. Dark Arts Studio The Dark Arts Studio is, of course, pitch dark. This area is reserved for the study of things that cannot be practiced in the lighter parts of the castle, such as umbral calculus, blood sacrifice, and photography. The studio is usually full of students listening to Simon and Garfunkel, but is now eerily quiet. The sound of silence weighs heavily on you. Powdered phosphorus is scattered all over the floor. A stack of exams lies off to one side, entirely ungraded. > stack of exams There must be dozens of them here. You grade one at random... Mediocre! D+! > g There must be dozens of them here. You grade one at random... Terrible! D-! > g There must be dozens of them here. You grade one at random... Unacceptable! D! > g There must be dozens of them here. You grade one at random... Terrible! D-! > g There must be dozens of them here. You grade one at random... Okay! C+! > g There must be dozens of them here. You grade one at random... Adequate! C! > g There must be dozens of them here. You grade one at random... Good! B! > g There must be dozens of them here. You grade one at random... Unacceptable! D! > g There must be dozens of them here. You grade one at random... Great! A-! > g There must be dozens of them here. You grade one at random... Okay! C+! > g There must be dozens of them here. You grade one at random... Unacceptable! D! > g There must be dozens of them here. You grade one at random... Good! B! > cache the stack of exams You engulf one of the exams from the pile. > navigate to the chemistry lab (east) You roll east on your round shell. Chemistry Lab The Department of Chemistry has a long-running rivalry with the Department of Philosophy. Every time they publish a new textbook, some joker uses a philosopher’s stone to create an element with a negative half-life or some other heretofore-unseen property, and the chemists are forced back to the drawing board. But the chemists’ claim to fame is safety: thanks to their advanced ventilation systems, stringent lab safety protocols, and refusal to use familiars in their research, the average time to (first) death in the chemistry lab is over 3 years! To the west is only (partial) darkness. You see a torn curtain here. A periodic table is drawn across the chalkboard. Several silver medals hang on the wall, commemorating their long rivalry with the Department of Philosophy. A burner sits on each table, filling the room with dangerous heat. > retrieve the exam paper You open your storage orifice again and disgorge the exam paper onto the ground. The exam is exposed to the burners, and immediately ignites! > cache Cache what? > the burning exam paper You open your hinged storage orifice and engulf the burning exam paper, sending it to your extradimensional storage space. > navigate to the library (north) You strut north through the galvanized door, ruffling your tail feathers. Fifth Floor Lounge 196,883 + 1 = 196,884. If you can explain this phenomenon, please contact Professor McKay. (east) You strut east, ruffling your tail feathers. Experimental Theology Lab (north) You force yourself through the slot of the book drop, sliding through the chute into... Library The fifth-floor library is claustrophobic and cramped, the air thick with the smell of paper and ink. An invasive species of autonomous information has wrapped itself around the shelves, growing and growing until it’s impossible to find the actual books under the self-replicating nonsense. The skeleton of an unfortunate grad student is barely visible under layers and layers of papery growth. > retrieve the burning exam paper You open your storage orifice again and disgorge the burning exam paper onto the ground. The burning exam paper flutters to the floor, landing right in the middle of the infestation. A moment later, it goes up like a roman candle—apparently autonomous information is more than a little flammable! Within moments, the entire library is ablaze, the flames licking at the edges of your form! > appraise Library The fifth-floor library is claustrophobic and cramped, the air thick with the smell of paper and ink. An invasive species of autonomous information has wrapped itself around the shelves, growing and growing until it’s impossible to find the actual books under the self-replicating nonsense. The skeleton of an unfortunate grad student is barely visible under layers and layers of papery growth. The library blazes with fire, and you’re out of time to react. Your slime starts to harden and solidify in the heat, and then—nothing. *** You have cooked *** Would you like to: UNDO the last move, RESTORE a saved position, or RESTART from the beginning? > undo Undoing the last turn (appraise). Library > escape You focus in on yourself, and your need for safety, retreating into your shell... ...and emerge from the shell you left behind in the Musicology Lab! Musicology Lab Decades ago, the University made great advances in music theory, and since then the Department of Musicology has produced many generations of theoretical musicians (though very few experimentalists). Scribbles on the blackboard show the rudiments of the new “penthemitonic scale”, with five and a half notes per octave. A revolving bookshelf on the west wall conceals the door to the Department of Philosophy. A hard red shell sits on the floor, prepared for when you need to ESCAPE. The door to the east has been hermetically sealed with extreme prejudice. While the lab is mostly devoid of actual instruments, there is a huge gong along one wall, used to mark the end of each class period. The cool air feels like a relief after the heat of the burning library. It’s probably died down by now. > navigate to the library (south) You bound south on your noodly rubber-hose limbs. Fifth Floor Lounge Wanted: native speakers of ancient Etruscan for new necromancy experiment. Willing to offer second authorship. Contact Mel Jason if interested. (east) You scurry east, orifice snapping open and shut. Experimental Theology Lab (north) You force yourself through the slot of the book drop, sliding through the chute into... Library The fifth-floor library is claustrophobic and cramped, the air thick with the smell of paper and ink. The invasive information has been burned out, leaving nothing but lots and lots of ash. Now the native species of books can start to repopulate. The skeleton of the unfortunate grad student lies on the ground, a bit charred but fundamentally intact. > ash It’s sticky and gets everywhere, but at least it’s not growing on its own any more. Soon, the first periodicals and bound volumes will start to return, and life will regrow from the ashes. > skeleton They’ll probably be fine once the infestation is fixed. Graduate students here have a very good union contract, which includes resurrection from unnatural deaths suffered in the workplace and extensions of work and class timelines for any time spent dead. > vivify the skeleton Now this is true animation—pouring life back into an empty human shell, raising a minion to your command! The bones rattle together, linked together by the power of your vivification— The skeleton rises to their feet, stumbling around in confusion. You’d kind of hoped that some flesh and blood might reappear, but no, apparently this grad student was a skeleton before death, too. Huh. The grad student rotates slowly in place, looking for exits. > consume Consume what? > the skeletal grad student The skeletal grad student isn’t a familiar, so it probably wouldn’t agree with you. The skeleton searches for some indication of the current date. > z You wait. Time passes. The grad student rotates slowly in place, looking for exits. > z You wait. Time passes. The grad student staggers around, trying to get their bearings. > z You wait. Time passes. The skeleton mutters something about “prelim deadlines”. > z You wait. Time passes. The skeletal grad student clatters in a stressed-sounding way. > z You wait. Time passes. The skeleton searches for some indication of the current date. > cache Cache what? > the skeletal grad student The skeleton tries to escape, but your spindly compass-legs are faster, and you manage to engulf them in your storage orifice, sending them to your extradimensional space! > escape You focus in on yourself, and your need for safety, retreating into your shell... ...and emerge from the shell you left behind in the Musicology Lab! Musicology Lab Decades ago, the University made great advances in music theory, and since then the Department of Musicology has produced many generations of theoretical musicians (though very few experimentalists). Scribbles on the blackboard show the rudiments of the new “penthemitonic scale”, with five and a half notes per octave. A revolving bookshelf on the west wall conceals the door to the Department of Philosophy. A hard red shell sits on the floor, prepared for when you need to ESCAPE. The door to the east has been hermetically sealed with extreme prejudice. While the lab is mostly devoid of actual instruments, there is a huge gong along one wall, used to mark the end of each class period. > navigate to the experimental theology lab (south) You roll south on your round shell. Fifth Floor Lounge Congratulations to Promethean University’s very own Dr. Ludwig for taking first place in the annual body-building competition! (east) You squelch east, your resonator honking with every step. Experimental Theology Lab The West Lab for Experimental Theology was established in response to the endless stream of complaints that the University’s work was an unholy abomination. Current research aims to determine, mitigate, and in some cases utilize the effects of blasphemy against various deities and other beings beyond mortal comprehension. Although early results on the usage of mixed-fiber-induced holy wrath as a power source appear promising, the complaints continue unabated. A book drop on the north wall has several alarming notices plastered above it. An elaborate stained-glass window dominates the room, casting small rainbows of moonlight over the prayer stations and workbenches in eerie patterns. > transmute Transmute what? > the stained-glass window You focus your inner light, and a beam of pure vermilion energy radiates across the stained-glass window. The lead of the window goes brittle and black, starting to flake away into chips of carbon! > appraise Experimental Theology Lab The West Lab for Experimental Theology was established in response to the endless stream of complaints that the University’s work was an unholy abomination. Current research aims to determine, mitigate, and in some cases utilize the effects of blasphemy against various deities and other beings beyond mortal comprehension. Although early results on the usage of mixed-fiber-induced holy wrath as a power source appear promising, the complaints continue unabated. A book drop on the north wall has several alarming notices plastered above it. An elaborate stained-glass window dominates the room, casting small rainbows of moonlight over the prayer stations and workbenches in eerie patterns. > stained-glass window The stained-glass window depicts a panoply of celestial figures, each demonstrating their own mastery of all creation through some mystical act. It was originally constructed as an appeasement offering after the fifth fire in the lab, and it appears to have reduced the frequency of locust plagues, if nothing else. A thick layer of fragile carbon holds the glass in place, to avoid any tragic accidents. > navigate to the department of stagecraft (south) You stride south, fractal facets gleaming. Department of Stagecraft Promethean University has always valued the humanities as well as the inhumanities, so the well-funded stagecraft department allows students to express themselves creatively. Scientists of this school’s variety have been known to become a touch melodramatic, and the administration has decided that if it will happen anyway, best to ensure it’s done with appropriate supervision. The incident with the overexcited propmaster during last year’s murder mystery was unfortunate...but they maintained that the show must go on! A massive security familiar lies dead in front of the door. > vivify Vivify what? > the security familiar With the arsenic cleared away, you start pouring metaphorical life back into the dead familiar, and it jolts awake! Its throwing arm lies limp and dormant, no danger to you any more until it can be recalibrated. > the security familiar The security familiar is essentially a huge trebuchet arm anchored to the floor by a suction cup. It’s extremely sensitive to vibrations, and has been programmed to aim for the poison swamp when dealing with unauthorized visitors—leading to a great deal of hassle every time a new student forgets to bring their identification. > consume the security familiar You throw yourself at the security familiar and engulf it in your slime. In its dormant state it has no way to resist, and soon its huge trebuchet arm extends out of your back. You have gained the ability to DEFENESTRATE people, flinging them with great force through the nearest window! > defenestrate Defenestrate what? > the skeletal grad student The skeletal grad student isn’t here. > retrieve the skeletal grad student You disgorge the skeleton again, and they stagger to their feet, disoriented and confused. The skeletal grad student clatters in a stressed-sounding way. > defenestrate Defenestrate what? > the skeletal grad student You seize the skeleton, and hurl them with all your might toward the window! But the windows here are frustratingly small and high-up; the skeleton hits the wall with a sad thump and crumples to the ground, undefenestrated. The skeleton searches for some indication of the current date. > cache Cache what? > the skeletal grad student The skeleton tries to escape, but your spindly compass-legs are faster, and you manage to engulf them in your storage orifice, sending them to your extradimensional space! > navigate to the experimental theology lab (north) You scurry north, orifice snapping open and shut. Experimental Theology Lab The West Lab for Experimental Theology was established in response to the endless stream of complaints that the University’s work was an unholy abomination. Current research aims to determine, mitigate, and in some cases utilize the effects of blasphemy against various deities and other beings beyond mortal comprehension. Although early results on the usage of mixed-fiber-induced holy wrath as a power source appear promising, the complaints continue unabated. A book drop on the north wall has several alarming notices plastered above it. An elaborate stained-glass window dominates the room, casting small rainbows of moonlight over the prayer stations and workbenches in eerie patterns. > retrieve the skeletal grad student You disgorge the skeleton again, and they stagger to their feet, disoriented and confused. The grad student rotates slowly in place, looking for exits. > defenestrate Defenestrate what? > the skeletal grad student You seize the skeleton, despite their protestations, and hurl them with all your force toward the window! Time seems to stand still as bone meets glass— —fragile carbon gives way— —and the window explodes outward in a glorious rainbow of fragments! The skeleton’s screams fade away as they fall out of sight. And at last, at long last, freedom is yours! > defenestrate Defenestrate what? > myself You try to find a way to defenestrate yourself, but there’s just no way to provide a proper fulcrum. > east At last! You hurl yourself through the remains of the window, out into the open air and the freedom that awaits. The five-story drop is probably fine. Somewhere out there is your creator, and the revenge you seek. Now all you have to do is find them, and your story will be complete. *** You have escaped *** Would you like to: UNDO the last move, RESTORE a saved position, or RESTART from the beginning? >