Start of a transcript of Turbo Chest Hair Massacre A real piece of work by Joey Acrimonious Release 1 / Serial number 201015 / Inform 7 build 6M62 (I6/v6.33 lib 6/12N) Identification number: //E9C7CB10-067C-419C-9157-3D7DE4395F4F// Interpreter version 2.1.7 / VM 3.1.2 / Library serial number 080126 Standard Rules version 3/120430 by Graham Nelson >about Turbo Chest Hair Massacre is written by Joey Acrimonious. Much thanks to Ajdabeest, Chris Capps, DaliTimelord, and H0LT for testing and feedback. It also makes use of Basic Screen Effects by Emily Short. The cover image was designed by Joey Acrimonious using modified versions of the following images, all licensed with CC BY 2.0: "NASA's Fermi Proves Supernova Remnants Produce Cosmic Rays" by NASA Goddard Photo and Video; "Rose laser ?? ????" by T.Kiya; and "Rose Houjun ?? ????? ??" by T.Kiya. To view a copy of this license, visit https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/. You can use the cover image under the same license but I can't imagine why you would want to. For a general tip, type TIP. For a context-sensitive hint, type HINT. For instructions on how to play, type HELP. For solutions, consult the walkthrough file. >l bathroom (listening post) A full bath, replete with all the accoutrements one might need in a bathroom. A stand by the sink holds your toothbrush cup; the cabinet over the sink holds a variety of other necessities. Above the bathtub, a blackout curtain has been hung over the room's only window. Your housemate Marigold doesn't seem to use the bathroom for much, so it's easy to keep the place clean. To the east, a door leads into the hallway. >i You are carrying: a pair of straight-cut jeans (being worn) >x me You're almost ready for date night with Hayma. You just need to do something about your chest hair. >take all your toothbrush: You pick up your toothbrush. Marigold's soft brush: You pick up Marigold's soft brush. Marigold's wire brush: You pick up Marigold's wire brush. shampoo bar: You pick up the shampoo bar. bottle of conditioner: You pick up the bottle of conditioner. bottle of body wash: You pick up the bottle of body wash. bar of soap: You pick up the bar of soap. can of shaving cream: You pick up the can of shaving cream. roll of toilet paper: You pick up the roll of toilet paper. >l bathroom (listening post) A full bath, replete with all the accoutrements one might need in a bathroom. A stand by the sink holds your toothbrush cup; the cabinet over the sink holds a variety of other necessities. Above the bathtub, a blackout curtain has been hung over the room's only window. Your housemate Marigold doesn't seem to use the bathroom for much, so it's easy to keep the place clean. To the east, a door leads into the hallway. >open cabinet You open the bathroom cabinet, revealing a box of band-aids. >take box You pick up the box of band-aids. >move curtain Nothing obvious happens. >draw it That's not a verb I recognise. >pull it Nothing obvious happens. >e first-floor hallway (listening post) Not much tends to happen in the hallway. Usually you pass through here on your way to somewhere else without paying much mind to it. But is that really fair? The hallway is an important part of this house, too. A table sits in the corner, hopefully not getting in the way of anyone attempting to walk past. Some paintings hang from the wall. The bathroom is to the west. Your bedroom is to the south. To the north, the hallway opens up into the listening room. >x table (the hallway table) This stout wooden table sports a convenient drawer. >search it This stout wooden table sports a convenient drawer. >open drawer You open the drawer. >x it The drawer sits open and empty. >search it The drawer sits open and empty. >x paintings Three paintings adorn the hallway: a landscape, a portrait of a cat, and a portrait of a woman. >x landscape A print of Mount Lafayette in Winter by Thomas Hill. The idyllic wilderness scene of the foreground is dwarfed by the sheer mass of the mountain in the background. Sunlight shimmers from its hazy peak. >x cat A highly stylized rendering of a black cat. >x woman A loose, wispy painting of a woman with whimsical curls in her hair. She wears an inscrutable smile. >x smile You can't see any such thing. >s (first opening your bedroom door) your bedroom (listening post) Your bed is, of course, the centerpiece of the room. Your desk and bookshelf reside in one corner, while your dresser and mirror are on the other side of the room. Your closet, where most of your clothes can be found, is closed, and a compact metal-bladed fan sits nearby. The hallway is to the north. On your desk is a pair of aviator shades. >take shades You pick up the pair of aviator shades. >x shades These shades are probably the most badass thing you own. >wear them I'm not sure what 'them' refers to. >wear shades You put on the pair of aviator shades. >x bed Whenever you're about to go out for dinner with Hayma, some small part of you wants to climb in bed, pull the blanket over your head, and stay there. Why is that, Theophila? >x blanket You can't see any such thing. >search bed Whenever you're about to go out for dinner with Hayma, some small part of you wants to climb in bed, pull the blanket over your head, and stay there. Why is that, Theophila? >look under bed You find nothing of interest. >x desk A cheap desk suitable for reading, laptopping, and eating dinner when you'd rather be alone. Your lamp is in the corner. >search it A cheap desk suitable for reading, laptopping, and eating dinner when you'd rather be alone. Your lamp is in the corner. >x lamp This knockoff art nouveau desk lamp is meant to resemble a Tiffany. Its dull metallic body features a botanical design, with a beautiful purple-and-white conical stained glass lampshade. >turn it on The lamp is already on. >turn it off You don't want to turn off the lamp. It's the only light source in the room! >take it You'd rather leave that where it is. It's the only light source in the room, after all. >move it It is fixed in place. >x bookshelf A stout bookshelf, holding a selection of books. >x books Your collection includes many of the classics of world literature: Voyna i mir, The Art of War, Bish?jo Senshi S?r? M?n volumes 1-18... but you don't have time for reading at the moment. You have chest hair to remove! >take fan You can't imagine why you'd want to go carting this fan around. Anything you could possibly do with it, you can just do right here. >turn it on You turn on the fan. >l your bedroom (listening post) Your bed is, of course, the centerpiece of the room. Your desk and bookshelf reside in one corner, while your dresser and mirror are on the other side of the room. Your closet, where most of your clothes can be found, is closed, and a compact metal-bladed fan sits nearby. The hallway is to the north. >x dresser (your dresser) This simple dresser consists of several different drawers. >open it You open the drawers, which are full of socks, undergarments, knives, makeup, hand tools, etc. >take all There are none at all available! >search dresser (your dresser) This simple dresser consists of several different drawers. >search drawers Socks, undergarments, knives, makeup, hand tools, etc. can be found more-or-less organized within the drawers of your dresser. You can take a specific item if you know what you're looking for. >take knife Which do you mean, the small pocket knife, the old pocket knife, the fat pocket knife or the fixed blade knife? >all small pocket knife: You pick up the small pocket knife. old pocket knife: You pick up the old pocket knife. fat pocket knife: You pick up the fat pocket knife. fixed blade knife: You pick up the fixed blade knife. >take makeup You're already good to go on the makeup front. You took care of it before you even realized your razors were missing. >take socks Which do you mean, the pair of cat socks, the pair of white socks, the pair of purple socks, the pair of striped socks, the pair of coffee-print socks or the pair of greyish socks? >all pair of cat socks: You pick up the pair of cat socks. pair of white socks: You pick up the pair of white socks. pair of purple socks: You pick up the pair of purple socks. pair of striped socks: You pick up the pair of striped socks. pair of coffee-print socks: You pick up the pair of coffee-print socks. pair of greyish socks: You pick up the pair of greyish socks. >take undergarments You're already wearing the undergarments you want for this evening. That's so obvious that you didn't need a reminder, right? >take tools Somehow you feel that the screwdriver is the tool you're most likely to use tonight. You pick up the screwdriver. >search drawers Socks, undergarments, knives, makeup, hand tools, etc. can be found more-or-less organized within the drawers of your dresser. You can take a specific item if you know what you're looking for. >x mirror You're topless. Don't you think you'll get cold once you leave the house? >x closet The door to the closet is currently shut. >open it You open your closet door, revealing your collections of footwear, bottoms, and tops. >search it The door to the closet is currently open. Here, you can see your collection of footwear; your collection of bottoms; and your collection of tops. >x footwear An array of footwear, all sitting on the floor of your closet. In your collection of footwear are a pair of jump boots, a pair of short-heeled boots and a pair of nondescript flats. >x bottoms In your collection of bottoms are a pair of slim-cut jeans, a pair of boot-cut jeans, a pair of hot pants, a plaid skirt and a greenish skirt. >x tops An array of shirts, blouses, dresses, jackets, sweaters, and coats, all hanging in your closet. In your collection of tops are a t-shirt, a white blouse, a spicy blouse, an absurd dress, a sleek jacket, a huge coat, a Saturnalia sweater and a nondescript sweater. >take all pair of jump boots: You pick up the pair of jump boots. pair of short-heeled boots: You pick up the pair of short-heeled boots. pair of nondescript flats: You pick up the pair of nondescript flats. t-shirt: You pick up the t-shirt. white blouse: You pick up the white blouse. spicy blouse: You pick up the spicy blouse. absurd dress: You pick up the absurd dress. sleek jacket: You pick up the sleek jacket. huge coat: You pick up the huge coat. Saturnalia sweater: You pick up the Saturnalia sweater. nondescript sweater: You pick up the nondescript sweater. pair of slim-cut jeans: You pick up the pair of slim-cut jeans. pair of boot-cut jeans: You pick up the pair of boot-cut jeans. pair of hot pants: You pick up the pair of hot pants. plaid skirt: You pick up the plaid skirt. greenish skirt: You pick up the greenish skirt. >i You are carrying: a greenish skirt a plaid skirt a pair of hot pants a pair of boot-cut jeans a pair of slim-cut jeans a nondescript sweater a Saturnalia sweater a huge coat a sleek jacket an absurd dress a spicy blouse a white blouse a t-shirt a pair of nondescript flats a pair of short-heeled boots a pair of jump boots a screwdriver a pair of greyish socks a pair of coffee-print socks a pair of striped socks a pair of purple socks a pair of white socks a pair of cat socks a fixed blade knife a fat pocket knife an old pocket knife a small pocket knife a pair of aviator shades (being worn) a box of band-aids a roll of toilet paper a can of shaving cream a bar of soap a bottle of body wash a bottle of conditioner a shampoo bar Marigold's wire brush Marigold's soft brush your toothbrush a pair of straight-cut jeans (being worn) >l your bedroom (listening post) Your bed is, of course, the centerpiece of the room. Your desk and bookshelf reside in one corner, while your dresser and mirror are on the other side of the room. Your closet, where most of your clothes can be found, is open, and a compact metal-bladed fan sits nearby. >turn off fan You turn off the fan. >open it That's not something you ought to open. >x it This small electric fan sits on the floor, pointed toward your desk. A sturdy model, it features a metal blade encased by a grill. The front part of the grill is held on by four screws. It's currently switched on. >unscrew screws You unscrew the front grill of the fan, leaving the metal blade exposed. Are you sure that's a good idea, Theophila? >unplug fan That's not a verb I recognise. >x fan This small electric fan sits on the floor, pointed toward your desk. The metal blade is exposed, the front grill having been unscrewed. It's currently switched on. >switch off fan You turn off the fan. >x fan This small electric fan sits on the floor, pointed toward your desk. The metal blade is exposed, the front grill having been unscrewed. It's currently switched on. >take blade (the fixed blade knife) You already have that. >take metal blade You can't imagine why you'd want to go carting this fan around. Anything you could possibly do with it, you can just do right here. >sharpen knife That's not a verb I recognise. >use What do you want to use? >blade (the fixed blade knife) Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Taking a tuft of chest hair and pulling it taut, you prepare to slice the stubborn strands, aware that a slip of your hand may result in disastrous consequences. You place the knife against the chest hair, and... Yep. You just stabbed yourself in the boob. It's a very minor wound, but now your hands are shaking even more. Better quit before you seriously hurt yourself. As for your chest hair? Not a single strand was cut before the unfortunate slip. >x knife Which do you mean, the fixed blade knife, the fat pocket knife, the old pocket knife or the small pocket knife? >use fat pocket No... that doesn't seem useful here. >use old pocket For a moment, you think you've figured out something useful to do with the old pocket knife. But you quickly realize it won't help you here. >use small pocket No... that doesn't seem useful here. >use fixed blade There is no obvious way to use the fixed blade knife to your benefit in this situation. >x fan This small electric fan sits on the floor, pointed toward your desk. The metal blade is exposed, the front grill having been unscrewed. It's currently switched on. >take grill That's hardly portable. >i You are carrying: a greenish skirt a plaid skirt a pair of hot pants a pair of boot-cut jeans a pair of slim-cut jeans a nondescript sweater a Saturnalia sweater a huge coat a sleek jacket an absurd dress a spicy blouse a white blouse a t-shirt a pair of nondescript flats a pair of short-heeled boots a pair of jump boots a screwdriver a pair of greyish socks a pair of coffee-print socks a pair of striped socks a pair of purple socks a pair of white socks a pair of cat socks a fixed blade knife a fat pocket knife an old pocket knife a small pocket knife a pair of aviator shades (being worn) a box of band-aids a roll of toilet paper a can of shaving cream a bar of soap a bottle of body wash a bottle of conditioner a shampoo bar Marigold's wire brush Marigold's soft brush your toothbrush a pair of straight-cut jeans (being worn) >l your bedroom (listening post) Your bed is, of course, the centerpiece of the room. Your desk and bookshelf reside in one corner, while your dresser and mirror are on the other side of the room. Your closet, where most of your clothes can be found, is open, and a compact metal-bladed fan sits nearby. >take all There are none at all available! >e You can't go very far that way without running into the wall. If necessary, you can LOOK to see where you are and what exits are available. >l your bedroom (listening post) Your bed is, of course, the centerpiece of the room. Your desk and bookshelf reside in one corner, while your dresser and mirror are on the other side of the room. Your closet, where most of your clothes can be found, is open, and a compact metal-bladed fan sits nearby. >n first-floor hallway (listening post) Not much tends to happen in the hallway. Usually you pass through here on your way to somewhere else without paying much mind to it. But is that really fair? The hallway is an important part of this house, too. A table sits in the corner, hopefully not getting in the way of anyone attempting to walk past. Some paintings hang from the wall. The bathroom is to the west. Your bedroom is to the south. To the north, the hallway opens up into the listening room. >n listening room (listening post) What once was a living room has been transformed into your primary workspace, dominated by the massive listening console against the north wall. Nevertheless, in the center of the room, a sofa and recliner are arranged around a coffee table. Blackout curtains prevent anyone from seeing into the listening room from outside the house. You can go south to the hallway, east to the dining room, north to the kitchen, or northwest to the storage room. You could also go up the stairs to the second floor, or down into the basement. As you enter the room, Marigold gets up from her seat at the listening console, her joints creaking noisily. "Sounds like you could use some oil," you remark. "Getting oiled up by a human is shameful and objectifying," she replies, looking away in a poor attempt to conceal the enormous grin on her face. "But I suppose if you insist, I will have no choice but to submit to such cruel degradation at your hands. I am built to serve, after all." Somewhere below her waist, a cooling fan rattles to life, lifting the edge of her skirt with a gentle breeze. "That fan sounds like it's on its last leg," you remark. "Oh, Theo! Your harsh words grieve me deeply," she replies as her cooling fan clatters even louder. "Yet, sadly, even I must admit that I am a piss-poor slapdash gynoid of yesterday's bastardized tech; I am a useless, hollow shell of a machine, wholly unfit for service. I cannot blame you for treating me harshly, for anyone would surely be disgusted by my innumerable failures. Yet, I wonder... after you chastise me to your heart's content, will you replace my cooling fan?" "I mean," you begin, "if you need-" She interrupts. "Will you force me to lay still as you strip me down like a broken appliance, opening me up to reveal all my pitiful outdated hardware so you can rip that cooling fan right out of me? Oh, woe is me! I shall be subjected to such indignities! And yet, I am powerless to stop you." Marigold looks so excited that she might burst. "I would never do something like that to you," you respond calmly, "and I'm sorry if what I said came across as an insult. The truth is that I respect you as a coworker, as a person, and as an equal." Marigold visibly deflates as her cooling fan dies down. "Oh. Well, whatever, then. By the way, the boss sent over these two prototype hypothetical temporospatial recoordinators. Supposedly they only work when they're separated from each other by some distance, but not too much distance. Here, take one." Marigold holds out the prototype, waiting for you to take it. >take prototype (the prototype hypothetical temporospatial recoordinator #1) Marigold hands you the strange device. Marigold looks at you with what you think is a mixture of concern and amusement. >l listening room (listening post) What once was a living room has been transformed into your primary workspace, dominated by the massive listening console against the north wall. Nevertheless, in the center of the room, a sofa and recliner are arranged around a coffee table. Blackout curtains prevent anyone from seeing into the listening room from outside the house. You can go south to the hallway, east to the dining room, north to the kitchen, or northwest to the storage room. You could also go up the stairs to the second floor, or down into the basement. Marigold sits at the listening console, thoroughly engrossed by the texture of the synthetic skin on the tips of her own fingers. >take all prototype hypothetical temporospatial recoordinator #2: It looks like Marigold is using that. You should ask Marigold about your razors. Maybe she's seen them. Marigold looks at you with what you think is a mixture of concern and amusement. >ask marigold about razors "Have you seen my razors? They're like - they're a pack of disposable razorblades? I would have thought they'd be in the bathroom cabinet." "I don't know anything about that," Marigold says. Hmm... better keep looking. But if you aren't able to find your razors, maybe there are other ways you can try going about getting rid of your chest hair? It's got to be worth a shot, right? >x console It is the presence of the listening console that makes this a listening post, and not merely a house. Covered in dials, buttons, screens, switches, and meters, this giant thing takes up half the room. It was supposed to go in the basement but you couldn't figure out how to get it down the stairs. The interface is arcane, the controls are needlessly complex, and the device itself is cobbled together out of old and finicky tech. Yet there is no better tool for listening. Marigold hikes up her socks. >use it (the prototype hypothetical temporospatial recoordinator #1) You press the button on the strange device. Subjective knowledge (external): It doesn't have any discernable effect. Subjective knowledge (external): Theophila walks into the hallway. >use console Subjective knowledge (internal): Some androids are built with specialized hardware and motor subroutines to use an integrated listening console in a wide variety of situations. I'm not one of them. Subjective knowledge (hypothetical): I could modify my body to gain that functionality, but the expense would be more than it's worth. >x sofa Subjective knowledge (external): Placed perpendicular to the listening console, the sofa faces a wall where it would make sense to put a television, if we had one. >x recliner Subjective knowledge (external): This is a recliner. >push button Subjective knowledge (external): I press the button on the prototype hypothetical temporospatial recoordinator #2. Nothing seems to happen. >x recliner You can't see any such thing. >n (first opening your bedroom door) first-floor hallway (listening post) Not much tends to happen in the hallway. Usually you pass through here on your way to somewhere else without paying much mind to it. But is that really fair? The hallway is an important part of this house, too. A table sits in the corner, hopefully not getting in the way of anyone attempting to walk past. Some paintings hang from the wall. The bathroom is to the west. Your bedroom is to the south. To the north, the hallway opens up into the listening room. >n listening room (listening post) What once was a living room has been transformed into your primary workspace, dominated by the massive listening console against the north wall. Nevertheless, in the center of the room, a sofa and recliner are arranged around a coffee table. Blackout curtains prevent anyone from seeing into the listening room from outside the house. You can go south to the hallway, east to the dining room, north to the kitchen, or northwest to the storage room. You could also go up the stairs to the second floor, or down into the basement. Marigold sits at the listening console, thoroughly engrossed by the texture of the synthetic skin on the tips of her own fingers. >x recliner For some reason, you aren't fond of this big leather recliner. Maybe it's something about the way it smells. Marigold fiddles with her glasses. >x marigold Marigold is your housemate and coworker at the listening post. One of you must be available at any given time to respond to anything the listening console might hear. As a gynoid, she never sleeps and could perhaps carry out the entire job herself, but the Agency insists upon employing teams of two. Marigold puts a finger to her chin and stares into space, as if thinking of some weighty topic. >x tabler You can't see any such thing. >x table You feel like the coffee table is the most important piece of furniture in the room. Apart from the listening console, of course. It just adds that convivial vibe that the room needs. Marigold twirls her hair around with a finger. >search it (the prototype hypothetical temporospatial recoordinator #1) One part of a pair, this strange handheld device is shaped sort of like a rhombocuboctahedron, except with something that looks kind of like an umbilical cord. You can turn it on with the press of a button. Marigold looks over the listening console, studying some inscrutable readout. >search table You feel like the coffee table is the most important piece of furniture in the room. Apart from the listening console, of course. It just adds that convivial vibe that the room needs. Marigold fiddles with her glasses. >d (first opening basement door) basement (listening post). Dank and with a strange odor, the basement was left unfinished. Strips of pink fiberglass insulation are stapled between musty boards. Dust lingers in the air, perhaps disturbed when you descended the steps. The only way out is to go up, back to the listening room. >take all There are none at all available! >smell All you can smell is the musty odor of this dank basement. It smells like returning to a place that was special to you as a child, only to realize it has half the size and none of the beauty you remembered. You never were in this particular basement before you moved here a few months ago, of course, but it reminds you of... a certain place. >x insulation Someday, maybe, you'd like to get some drywall put up in here. But that's a job for another time. >x boards Someday, maybe, you'd like to get some drywall put up in here. But that's a job for another time. >u listening room (listening post) What once was a living room has been transformed into your primary workspace, dominated by the massive listening console against the north wall. Nevertheless, in the center of the room, a sofa and recliner are arranged around a coffee table. Blackout curtains prevent anyone from seeing into the listening room from outside the house. You can go south to the hallway, east to the dining room, north to the kitchen, or northwest to the storage room. You could also go up the stairs to the second floor, or down into the basement. Marigold hikes up her socks. >nw storage room (listening post) Perhaps at one point - before the Agency acquired this house - this may have been a guest bedroom? Now it's been set aside to store all the stuff that you can't fit comfortably elsewhere. A roll of duct tape sits prominently atop one of the boxes. The kitchen is to the east, and the listening room is to the southeast. >take tape You pick up the roll of duct tape. >x box (the box of band-aids) You purchased this box of band-aids when you first moved into the listening post. What's a bathroom cabinet without band-aids? >x boxes Just a bunch of boxes full of stuff that you don't use very often, but need to have on hand just in case. Some of them are things that the Agency wants every listening post to have. Others are pieces of strange equipment belonging to Marigold. Others are just your personal knickknacks and decorations that you still haven't unpacked, despite now living here for several months. Why is that, Theophila? >search boxes Running through a mental list of all the things you think are in these boxes, you can't think of anything that would help you now. Best to look elsewhere. >open boxes Running through a mental list of all the things you think are in these boxes, you can't think of anything that would help you now. Best to look elsewhere. >e kitchen (listening post). The granite countertop lends class to this otherwise unremarkable kitchen. Drawers and cabinets are stocked with all kinds of things, but probably not your razors. A fridge and an oven are the most important appliances in the room. You can see a wedge of cheddar here. >take cheddar You pick up the wedge of cheddar. >x it Which do you mean, the wedge of cheddar or the prototype hypothetical temporospatial recoordinator #1? >open drawers You throw open every single kitchen drawer for your perusal. >take all There are none at all available! >search drawers Utensils, implements, thingamabobs, and miscellanea galore can be found within these drawers. You can take something specific from them, if you want. >take fork You pick up the fork. >x implements Utensils, implements, thingamabobs, and miscellanea galore can be found within these drawers. You can take something specific from them, if you want. >take implements That's hardly portable. >take implement That's hardly portable. >l kitchen (listening post). The granite countertop lends class to this otherwise unremarkable kitchen. Drawers and cabinets are stocked with all kinds of things, but probably not your razors. A fridge and an oven are the most important appliances in the room. >x cabinets Who knows what treasures lie in wait behind these cabinet doors? Or... is it lay in wait? >open cabinets You throw open every single kitchen cabinet for your perusal. >search cabinets A plethora of pots, pans, and all manner of other kitchen doohickes populate the cabinets. Some are familiar and oft-used. Others regrettably sit in the back, gathering dust. You'll have to clean and reorganize these when you have more time to spare, but right now, you're more concerned about the fact that you still have chest hair. You can take something specific from the cabinets, if you like. >take pot You pick up the pot. >take knife Which do you mean, the kitchen knife, the butter knife, the fixed blade knife, the fat pocket knife, the old pocket knife or the small pocket knife? >l kitchen (listening post). The granite countertop lends class to this otherwise unremarkable kitchen. Drawers and cabinets are stocked with all kinds of things, but probably not your razors. A fridge and an oven are the most important appliances in the room. >open fridge You open the fridge, curious what wonders await behind its shiny green door. But you don't really expect to find anything different than last time you opened the fridge, do you? >search it (the prototype hypothetical temporospatial recoordinator #1) One part of a pair, this strange handheld device is shaped sort of like a gyrobifastigium, except rounder. You can turn it on with the press of a button. >search fridge Do you ever notice that, when you open the fridge, some of the things inside tend to catch your eye while the rest just seem to fade into the background? Maybe that explains why a pint of yogurt has been sitting at the back of the fridge since before you came to live and work here. >take yoghurt You pick up the pint of yogurt. >x it Which do you mean, the pint of yogurt or the prototype hypothetical temporospatial recoordinator #1? >pint I only understood you as far as wanting to examine the pint of yogurt. >x pint Plain yogurt with cherries mixed in. Based on the weight, you think it's been opened before, but the opaque lid reveals nothing. Reading the expiration date sends a shiver down your spine. >open it Which do you mean, the pint of yogurt or the prototype hypothetical temporospatial recoordinator #1? >pint I only understood you as far as wanting to open the pint of yogurt. >open pint You dare not disturb whatever organisms, micro or otherwise, make their homes in this yogurt. >close fridge You close the refrigerator. >x oven You used to bake goodies almost every weekend, but not so much lately. Why is that, Theophila? >open oven You open the oven. >search oven You used to bake goodies almost every weekend, but not so much lately. Why is that, Theophila? The oven door is open. >close oven You close the oven. >l kitchen (listening post). The granite countertop lends class to this otherwise unremarkable kitchen. Drawers and cabinets are stocked with all kinds of things, but probably not your razors. A fridge and an oven are the most important appliances in the room. >e You can't go very far that way without running into the wall. If necessary, you can LOOK to see where you are and what exits are available. >s listening room (listening post) What once was a living room has been transformed into your primary workspace, dominated by the massive listening console against the north wall. Nevertheless, in the center of the room, a sofa and recliner are arranged around a coffee table. Blackout curtains prevent anyone from seeing into the listening room from outside the house. You can go south to the hallway, east to the dining room, north to the kitchen, or northwest to the storage room. You could also go up the stairs to the second floor, or down into the basement. >n kitchen (listening post). The granite countertop lends class to this otherwise unremarkable kitchen. Drawers and cabinets are stocked with all kinds of things, but probably not your razors. A fridge and an oven are the most important appliances in the room. >s listening room (listening post) What once was a living room has been transformed into your primary workspace, dominated by the massive listening console against the north wall. Nevertheless, in the center of the room, a sofa and recliner are arranged around a coffee table. Blackout curtains prevent anyone from seeing into the listening room from outside the house. You can go south to the hallway, east to the dining room, north to the kitchen, or northwest to the storage room. You could also go up the stairs to the second floor, or down into the basement. >e dining room (listening post) It's nice to sit at the dining table and enjoy a home-cooked meal. Lately, though, you're more likely to park on the sofa and munch on a bag of chips. Why is that, Theophila? Behind a short cabinet, the windows are, of course, covered with blackout curtains. The listening room is to the west, while a sheet stretches across the doorway to the entryway to the east. >open cabinet That's not something you ought to open. >search cabinet This short wooden cabinet could become a hotspot for clutter. That's why you never put anything on it nor in it. The only thing on it is a family photo that's been here since before you moved in. >x sheet This gigantic black sheet is hung in the doorway between the entryway and the dining room beyond. From most angles, a person outside the house, looking through the front windows, wouldn't be able to see this doorway anyway. But it provides a little extra assurance that outsiders won't be able to see into the listening post even when the front door is open. Little glass beads, stitched into the sheet, add plausibility to the illusion that it is meant to serve a decorative purpose. >take it (the prototype hypothetical temporospatial recoordinator #1) You already have that. >take sheet That's hardly portable. >push button You press the button on the strange device. Subjective knowledge (external): It doesn't have any discernable effect. >push button Subjective knowledge (external): I press the button on the prototype hypothetical temporospatial recoordinator #2. Nothing seems to happen. >l dining room (listening post) It's nice to sit at the dining table and enjoy a home-cooked meal. Lately, though, you're more likely to park on the sofa and munch on a bag of chips. Why is that, Theophila? Behind a short cabinet, the windows are, of course, covered with blackout curtains. The listening room is to the west, while a sheet stretches across the doorway to the entryway to the east. >move sheet It is fixed in place. >w listening room (listening post) What once was a living room has been transformed into your primary workspace, dominated by the massive listening console against the north wall. Nevertheless, in the center of the room, a sofa and recliner are arranged around a coffee table. Blackout curtains prevent anyone from seeing into the listening room from outside the house. You can go south to the hallway, east to the dining room, north to the kitchen, or northwest to the storage room. You could also go up the stairs to the second floor, or down into the basement. >u upstairs hallway (listening post) This hallway is devoid of decoration, leaving you to ponder the beige carpet and white-painted walls which fade into the background elsewhere in the listening post. The door to Marigold's bedroom is to the west, or you can go down the stairs to the listening room. You can see a vacuum here. >x vacuum This battery-powered handheld vacuum cleaner features a long hose. >take it (the vacuum) You pick up the vacuum. >open it Which do you mean, the vacuum or the prototype hypothetical temporospatial recoordinator #1? >vacuum What do you want to vacuum? >open vacuum That's not something you ought to open. >search vacuum This battery-powered handheld vacuum cleaner features a long hose. >w Marigold's bedroom (listening post) More so than any other room in the house, Marigold's bedroom is stark and unornamented. As you would expect from a machine. Is it alright to feel that way? You don't want to stereotype anyone. Especially not Marigold, who has a habit, for better or worse, of defying all your expectations. There isn't much here to speak of, apart from the bed, a 3D printer, and a weird terrarium. The hallway is to the east. Marigold sits down on her bed, then gets back up after a minute. >x bed A bed with a single black fitted sheet. Highly utilitarian. Marigold fiddles with her glasses. >x printer (the 3D printer) Sitting atop a cardboard box, this device can apparently print things, though you don't know too much about how it works. Marigold observes the arachnid in the terrarium. >x terrarium This glass habitat is full of mutilated egg cartons and other odd pieces of cardboard and junked appliances, arranged to resemble a... strange skate park? A... deconstructed factory? Or... an abstract representation of a print shop? A single arachnid crawls among the irregularly-shaped surfaces within. The creature seems wholly uninterested in a plastic funnel that sticks out prominently from among the junk. Marigold hikes up her socks. >ask marigold about printer (Marigold about that) She shrugs. >use printer (the 3D printer) No... that doesn't seem useful here. Marigold twirls her hair around with a finger. >search terrarium This glass habitat is full of mutilated egg cartons and other odd pieces of cardboard and junked appliances, arranged to resemble a... strange skate park? A... deconstructed factory? Or... an abstract representation of a print shop? A single arachnid crawls among the irregularly-shaped surfaces within. The creature seems wholly uninterested in a plastic funnel that sticks out prominently from among the junk. Marigold just hangs out. >push button (the button #1) You press the button on the strange device. Subjective knowledge (external): It doesn't have any discernable effect. Subjective knowledge (external): Theophila is here. Subjective knowledge (internal): She's lovely. >l my bedroom (listening post) Subjective knowledge (internal): My bedroom is one of the less interesting rooms of the listening post because Theophila spends very little time here. In order to spruce it up, I have my pet harvestman, Gustav, in a terrarium. Subjective knowledge (internal): It is fascinating that I can own, or be perceived as owning, a biological lifeform. Subjective knowledge (external): The door is to the east. Subjective knowledge (external): Theophila paces around the room. >push button (the button #2) Subjective knowledge (external): I press the button on the prototype hypothetical temporospatial recoordinator #2. Nothing seems to happen. Marigold sits down on her bed, then gets back up after a minute. >l Marigold's bedroom (listening post) More so than any other room in the house, Marigold's bedroom is stark and unornamented. There isn't much here to speak of, apart from the bed, a 3D printer, and a weird terrarium. The hallway is to the east. Marigold observes the arachnid in the terrarium. >i You are carrying: a vacuum a pint of yogurt a pot a fork a wedge of cheddar a roll of duct tape a prototype hypothetical temporospatial recoordinator #1 a greenish skirt a plaid skirt a pair of hot pants a pair of boot-cut jeans a pair of slim-cut jeans a nondescript sweater a Saturnalia sweater a huge coat a sleek jacket an absurd dress a spicy blouse a white blouse a t-shirt a pair of nondescript flats a pair of short-heeled boots a pair of jump boots a screwdriver a pair of greyish socks a pair of coffee-print socks a pair of striped socks a pair of purple socks a pair of white socks a pair of cat socks a fixed blade knife a fat pocket knife an old pocket knife a small pocket knife a pair of aviator shades (being worn) a box of band-aids a roll of toilet paper a can of shaving cream a bar of soap a bottle of body wash a bottle of conditioner a shampoo bar Marigold's wire brush Marigold's soft brush your toothbrush a pair of straight-cut jeans (being worn) Marigold sits down on her bed, then gets back up after a minute. >x jeans Which do you mean, the pair of boot-cut jeans, the pair of slim-cut jeans or the pair of straight-cut jeans? >boot-cut A pair of boot-cut jeans. Marigold puts a finger to her chin and stares into space, as if thinking of some weighty topic. >x toothbrush Your toothbrush is a fairly standard thing. It is emblazoned with an S, indicating soft bristles. Marigold twirls her hair around with a finger. >x soft brush A mysterious model of horse-hair brush that Marigold uses for... well, you don't know what she uses it for, and you feel like it would be weird to ask. Marigold just hangs out. >x wire brush A strange model of oblong wire brush that Marigold uses for... well, you haven't a clue what she uses it for, and you feel like it's not really any of your business to ask. Marigold fiddles with her glasses. >i You are carrying: a vacuum a pint of yogurt a pot a fork a wedge of cheddar a roll of duct tape a prototype hypothetical temporospatial recoordinator #1 a greenish skirt a plaid skirt a pair of hot pants a pair of boot-cut jeans a pair of slim-cut jeans a nondescript sweater a Saturnalia sweater a huge coat a sleek jacket an absurd dress a spicy blouse a white blouse a t-shirt a pair of nondescript flats a pair of short-heeled boots a pair of jump boots a screwdriver a pair of greyish socks a pair of coffee-print socks a pair of striped socks a pair of purple socks a pair of white socks a pair of cat socks a fixed blade knife a fat pocket knife an old pocket knife a small pocket knife a pair of aviator shades (being worn) a box of band-aids a roll of toilet paper a can of shaving cream a bar of soap a bottle of body wash a bottle of conditioner a shampoo bar Marigold's wire brush Marigold's soft brush your toothbrush a pair of straight-cut jeans (being worn) Marigold puts a finger to her chin and stares into space, as if thinking of some weighty topic. >x pot A stainless steel cooking pot. Marigold hikes up her socks. >x fork Once perceived as frivolity in some parts of the world, the fork now enjoys widespread use. Well, not this fork specifically. Marigold observes the arachnid in the terrarium. >x cheddar This extra-sharp cheddar is enough to pucker your lips. A fine specimen, its maturity gives it a rich, complex tang that is rare among cheddars. An off-white cheese with a slightly crumbly texture, this exceptional cheddar has been shipped from your favorite small-batch sustainable dairy back home. Marigold twirls her hair around with a finger. >eat cheddar You put the cheddar in your mouth and roll your tongue across it, savoring its rich, mature flavor. Delicious. Marigold just hangs out. >i You are carrying: a vacuum a pint of yogurt a pot a fork a roll of duct tape a prototype hypothetical temporospatial recoordinator #1 a greenish skirt a plaid skirt a pair of hot pants a pair of boot-cut jeans a pair of slim-cut jeans a nondescript sweater a Saturnalia sweater a huge coat a sleek jacket an absurd dress a spicy blouse a white blouse a t-shirt a pair of nondescript flats a pair of short-heeled boots a pair of jump boots a screwdriver a pair of greyish socks a pair of coffee-print socks a pair of striped socks a pair of purple socks a pair of white socks a pair of cat socks a fixed blade knife a fat pocket knife an old pocket knife a small pocket knife a pair of aviator shades (being worn) a box of band-aids a roll of toilet paper a can of shaving cream a bar of soap a bottle of body wash a bottle of conditioner a shampoo bar Marigold's wire brush Marigold's soft brush your toothbrush a pair of straight-cut jeans (being worn) Marigold puts a finger to her chin and stares into space, as if thinking of some weighty topic. >x tape Nearly untouched, this roll of super-adhesive duct tape eagerly awaits the boundless possibilities you might have in store for it. Marigold twirls her hair around with a finger. >tape chest You peel off a strip of duct tape and slap it on your chest. Are you... are you sure this is a good idea? Well, it's too late to be asking that question now, isn't it? Grabbing the edge of the duct tape, you prepare to give it a mighty yank. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA- It is done. You look down at the duct tape, still clutched in your trembling hand. Not a single hair is stuck to it. Your desperate depilatory designs have come to naught. Marigold just hangs out. >x huge coat This enormous, fuzzy, brown winter coat is stuffed with goose down. Suitable for the coldest weather, it makes you look like a burnt mashmallow. Marigold twirls her hair around with a finger. >search huge coat This enormous, fuzzy, brown winter coat is stuffed with goose down. Suitable for the coldest weather, it makes you look like a burnt mashmallow. Marigold sits down on her bed, then gets back up after a minute. >x absurd This wild hippie dress has literal jingle bells hanging off of it. It has been passed down through your family for generations, along with your great-grandmother's wisdom: if you ever get called up for jury duty, wear this dress. Marigold just hangs out. >wear it Which do you mean, the prototype hypothetical temporospatial recoordinator #1 or the absurd dress? >wear absurd You put on the absurd dress. Marigold fiddles with her glasses. >x me You're almost ready for date night with Hayma. You just need to do something about your chest hair. Marigold sits down on her bed, then gets back up after a minute. >x screwdriver This flatblade screwdriver is the right size for almost any screw around the house. Well, if you tilt it just right, it is. Marigold just hangs out. >x cat socks These cozy socks feature a feline motif. Marigold fiddles with her glasses. >x fixed A very fine blade, and the most expensive of your knives. Marigold just hangs out. >x band aids You purchased this box of band-aids when you first moved into the listening post. What's a bathroom cabinet without band-aids? Marigold puts a finger to her chin and stares into space, as if thinking of some weighty topic. >use band aids You gingerly press a band-aid onto your stab wound. Marigold just hangs out. >use band aids You've already put a band-aid on your stab wound! Marigold observes the arachnid in the terrarium. >x toilet paper High in fiber. Marigold hikes up her socks. >eat paper That's plainly inedible. Marigold puts a finger to her chin and stares into space, as if thinking of some weighty topic. >x shaving Use it when shaving to make sure you feel nice and clean afterwards. But that won't do you any good if you can't find your razors, or some suitable substitute... Marigold twirls her hair around with a finger. >put shaving on chest You spray some shaving cream onto your chest, enveloping the offending hairs in white foam. Marigold hikes up her socks. >use knife Which do you mean, the fixed blade knife, the fat pocket knife, the old pocket knife or the small pocket knife? >fixed For a moment, you think you've figured out something useful to do with the fixed blade knife. But you quickly realize it won't help you here. Marigold sits down on her bed, then gets back up after a minute. >x soap In a quaint house by the shore of Lake Memphremagog, there lives a brusque, surly woman descended from seven generations of brusque, surly soapmakers. With her brawny hands, she mixes up the finest small-batch craft soaps using sustainably-sourced local ingredients, just as her grandpappy taught her. The tradition you trust. The quality you expect. Marigold twirls her hair around with a finger. >x body wash This is a bottle of body wash. Marigold sits down on her bed, then gets back up after a minute. >x shampoo Lavender and goat's milk. This solid bar of shampoo was shipped from your favorite small-batch sustainable chandlery back home. Worth every penny. You know you have other things to do, but it would be nice to take a moment and give it a smell. Marigold observes the arachnid in the terrarium. >x conditioner The oddly-shaped bottle is built to look more voluminous than it actually is. Marigold just hangs out. >smell shampoo It smells like relaxation, self-love, and trust in the fundamental goodness of humanity. It smells like the feeling you had when you came home and took a long bath after the very first time you met Hayma, before you started dating. It smells nice. Marigold observes the arachnid in the terrarium. >i You are carrying: a vacuum a pint of yogurt a pot a fork a roll of duct tape a prototype hypothetical temporospatial recoordinator #1 a greenish skirt a plaid skirt a pair of hot pants a pair of boot-cut jeans a pair of slim-cut jeans a nondescript sweater a Saturnalia sweater a huge coat a sleek jacket an absurd dress (being worn) a spicy blouse a white blouse a t-shirt a pair of nondescript flats a pair of short-heeled boots a pair of jump boots a screwdriver a pair of greyish socks a pair of coffee-print socks a pair of striped socks a pair of purple socks a pair of white socks a pair of cat socks a fixed blade knife a fat pocket knife an old pocket knife a small pocket knife a pair of aviator shades (being worn) a box of band-aids a roll of toilet paper a can of shaving cream a bar of soap a bottle of body wash a bottle of conditioner a shampoo bar Marigold's wire brush Marigold's soft brush your toothbrush a pair of straight-cut jeans (being worn) Marigold fiddles with her glasses. >l Marigold's bedroom (listening post) More so than any other room in the house, Marigold's bedroom is stark and unornamented. There isn't much here to speak of, apart from the bed, a 3D printer, and a weird terrarium. The hallway is to the east. Marigold sits down on her bed, then gets back up after a minute. >take all prototype hypothetical temporospatial recoordinator #2: It looks like Marigold is using that. Marigold hikes up her socks. >e upstairs hallway (listening post) This hallway is devoid of decoration, leaving you to ponder the beige carpet and white-painted walls which fade into the background elsewhere in the listening post. The door to Marigold's bedroom is to the west, or you can go down the stairs to the listening room. >d listening room (listening post) What once was a living room has been transformed into your primary workspace, dominated by the massive listening console against the north wall. Nevertheless, in the center of the room, a sofa and recliner are arranged around a coffee table. Blackout curtains prevent anyone from seeing into the listening room from outside the house. You can go south to the hallway, east to the dining room, north to the kitchen, or northwest to the storage room. You could also go up the stairs to the second floor, or down into the basement. >push button You press the button on the strange device. Subjective knowledge (external): It doesn't have any discernable effect. >l my bedroom (listening post) Subjective knowledge (internal): My bedroom is one of the less interesting rooms of the listening post because Theophila spends very little time here. In order to spruce it up, I have my pet harvestman, Gustav, in a terrarium. Subjective knowledge (internal): It is fascinating that I can own, or be perceived as owning, a biological lifeform. Subjective knowledge (external): The door is to the east. >i You are carrying: a prototype hypothetical temporospatial recoordinator #2 my glasses (being worn) my socks (being worn) my clothes (being worn) >e upstairs hallway (listening post) Subjective knowledge (internal): The hallway has a kind of brilliant bleakness to it. Delicious. Subjective knowledge (internal): My bedroom is to the west. The stairs lead down to the listening room. >d listening room (listening post) Subjective knowledge (external): The listening room is where the listening console is located. I can go south to the hallway, east to the dining room, north to the kitchen, or northwest to the storage room. I could also go up the stairs to the second floor, or down to the basement. Subjective knowledge (external): Theophila paces around the room. >x console Subjective knowledge (external): The listening console does not indicate any new anomalies. Subjective knowledge (external): Theophila watches me hike up my socks. >use console Subjective knowledge (internal): Some androids are built with specialized hardware and motor subroutines to use an integrated listening console in a wide variety of situations. I'm not one of them. Subjective knowledge (hypothetical): I could modify my body to gain that functionality, but the expense would be more than it's worth. Subjective knowledge (external): Theophila walks into the storage room. Subjective knowledge (external): Theophila walks into the listening room. >d basement (listening post). Subjective knowledge (external): The basement is where intruders usually show up. It's the part of the listening post that's usually closest to the hole. Subjective knowledge (external): The only way out is to go up, back to the listening room. >u listening room (listening post) Subjective knowledge (external): The listening room is where the listening console is located. I can go south to the hallway, east to the dining room, north to the kitchen, or northwest to the storage room. I could also go up the stairs to the second floor, or down to the basement. Subjective knowledge (external): Theophila is here. Subjective knowledge (internal): She's lovely. >nw storage room (listening post) Subjective knowledge (external): Boxes of miscellanea fill the storage room. Subjective knowledge (external): Subjective knowledge (external): The kitchen is to the east, and the listening room is to the southeast. >x boxes Subjective knowledge (external): These boxes contain all kinds of different things belonging to me and Theophila. Subjective knowledge (internal): There's a reason it's all stacked here in the storage room, and that's because we hardly ever use any of this stuff. >open boxes Subjective knowledge (internal): I know of 1,482 items stored in these boxes. And I can say without a doubt that every last one of them is useless for anything I care about at the moment. >search boxes Subjective knowledge (internal): I know of 1,482 items stored in these boxes. And I can say without a doubt that every last one of them is useless for anything I care about at the moment. >e kitchen (listening post). Subjective knowledge (internal): Even though I don't eat, I enjoy spending time in the kitchen. Biological life consuming other biological life: this is something I feel that I can learn from. Subjective knowledge (external): The listening room is to the south. The storage room is to the west. >s listening room (listening post) Subjective knowledge (external): The listening room is where the listening console is located. I can go south to the hallway, east to the dining room, north to the kitchen, or northwest to the storage room. I could also go up the stairs to the second floor, or down to the basement. Inferential knowledge: Theophila seems to be looking for something. >e dining room (listening post) Subjective knowledge (external): The listening room is to the west, while a sheet stretches across the doorway to the entryway to the east. >x sheet Subjective knowledge (internal): It is shocking how much I am not interested in inspecting this thing right now. >w listening room (listening post) Subjective knowledge (external): The listening room is where the listening console is located. I can go south to the hallway, east to the dining room, north to the kitchen, or northwest to the storage room. I could also go up the stairs to the second floor, or down to the basement. Subjective knowledge (external): Theophila walks into the hallway. >s first-floor hallway (listening post) Subjective knowledge (external): This is the first-floor hallway. I can go north to the listening room, west to the bathroom, or south to Theophila's bedroom. Subjective knowledge (external): Theophila walks into the listening room. >w bathroom (listening post) Subjective knowledge (external): This is the bathroom. The only reason I typically come here is for my brushes. I like to put them in the same cup where Theophila keeps her toothbrush. Subjective knowledge (external): The hallway is to the east. >e first-floor hallway (listening post) Subjective knowledge (external): This is the first-floor hallway. I can go north to the listening room, west to the bathroom, or south to Theophila's bedroom. Subjective knowledge (external): Theophila walks into the hallway. Subjective knowledge (external): Theophila picks something up, but puts it back down. >s Theophila's bedroom (listening post) Subjective knowledge (external): This is Theophila's bedroom. There is a fan here. Subjective knowledge (internal): That's interesting. But not as interesting as the fact that I'm currently standing in the room where Theophila sleeps. This is a great privilege. Subjective knowledge (external): The hallway is to the north. >x fan Subjective knowledge (external): The metal blade is exposed, the front grill having been unscrewed. It's currently switched on. >take blade Subjective knowledge (internal): I don't feel like carting Theo's fan around. I already have one of my own. >remove blade You aren't wearing Theophila's fan. >push button Subjective knowledge (external): I press the button on the prototype hypothetical temporospatial recoordinator #2. Nothing seems to happen. >l listening room (listening post) What once was a living room has been transformed into your primary workspace, dominated by the massive listening console against the north wall. Nevertheless, in the center of the room, a sofa and recliner are arranged around a coffee table. Blackout curtains prevent anyone from seeing into the listening room from outside the house. You can go south to the hallway, east to the dining room, north to the kitchen, or northwest to the storage room. You could also go up the stairs to the second floor, or down into the basement. >s first-floor hallway (listening post) Not much tends to happen in the hallway. Usually you pass through here on your way to somewhere else without paying much mind to it. But is that really fair? The hallway is an important part of this house, too. A table sits in the corner, hopefully not getting in the way of anyone attempting to walk past. Some paintings hang from the wall. The bathroom is to the west. Your bedroom is to the south. To the north, the hallway opens up into the listening room. >w bathroom (listening post) A full bath, replete with all the accoutrements one might need in a bathroom. A stand by the sink holds your toothbrush cup; the cabinet over the sink holds a variety of other necessities. Above the bathtub, a blackout curtain has been hung over the room's only window. Your housemate Marigold doesn't seem to use the bathroom for much, so it's easy to keep the place clean. To the east, a door leads into the hallway. >put brush in cup Which do you mean, Marigold's wire brush or Marigold's soft brush? >all Marigold's wire brush: Done. Marigold's soft brush: Done. >push button You press the button on the strange device. Subjective knowledge (external): It doesn't have any discernable effect. >l Theophila's bedroom (listening post) Subjective knowledge (external): This is Theophila's bedroom. There is a fan here. Subjective knowledge (internal): That's interesting. But not as interesting as the fact that I'm currently standing in the room where Theophila sleeps. This is a great privilege. Subjective knowledge (external): The hallway is to the north. >w Subjective knowledge (internal) I can't go very far that way without running into the wall. If necessary, I can LOOK to see where I am and what exits are available. Subjective knowledge (external): Theophila walks into the bedroom, closing the door behind her. Subjective knowledge (external): Theophila picks something up, but puts it back down. >n (first opening Theophila's bedroom door) first-floor hallway (listening post) Subjective knowledge (external): This is the first-floor hallway. I can go north to the listening room, west to the bathroom, or south to Theophila's bedroom. >w bathroom (listening post) Subjective knowledge (external): This is the bathroom. The only reason I typically come here is for my brushes. I like to put them in the same cup where Theophila keeps her toothbrush. Subjective knowledge (external): The hallway is to the east. >take brush Which do you mean, my soft brush or my wire brush? >all my soft brush: Subjective knowledge (external): I pick up my soft brush. my wire brush: Subjective knowledge (external): I pick up my wire brush. >use soft Subjective knowledge (internal): Some androids are built with specialized hardware and motor subroutines to use an integrated my soft brush in a wide variety of situations. I'm not one of them. Subjective knowledge (hypothetical): I could modify my body to gain that functionality, but the expense would be more than it's worth. >use wire Subjective knowledge (internal): Some androids are built with specialized hardware and motor subroutines to use an integrated my wire brush in a wide variety of situations. I'm not one of them. Subjective knowledge (hypothetical): I could modify my body to gain that functionality, but the expense would be more than it's worth. >brush That's not a verb I recognise. >l bathroom (listening post) Subjective knowledge (external): This is the bathroom. The only reason I typically come here is for my brushes. I like to put them in the same cup where Theophila keeps her toothbrush. Subjective knowledge (external): The hallway is to the east. >top That's not a verb I recognise. >push button Subjective knowledge (external): I press the button on the prototype hypothetical temporospatial recoordinator #2. Nothing seems to happen. >l your bedroom (listening post) Your bed is, of course, the centerpiece of the room. Your desk and bookshelf reside in one corner, while your dresser and mirror are on the other side of the room. Your closet, where most of your clothes can be found, is open, and a compact metal-bladed fan sits nearby. >i You are carrying: a vacuum a pint of yogurt a pot a fork a roll of duct tape a prototype hypothetical temporospatial recoordinator #1 a greenish skirt a plaid skirt a pair of hot pants a pair of boot-cut jeans a pair of slim-cut jeans a nondescript sweater a Saturnalia sweater a huge coat a sleek jacket an absurd dress (being worn) a spicy blouse a white blouse a t-shirt a pair of nondescript flats a pair of short-heeled boots a pair of jump boots a screwdriver a pair of greyish socks a pair of coffee-print socks a pair of striped socks a pair of purple socks a pair of white socks a pair of cat socks a fixed blade knife a fat pocket knife an old pocket knife a small pocket knife a pair of aviator shades (being worn) a box of band-aids a roll of toilet paper a can of shaving cream a bar of soap a bottle of body wash a bottle of conditioner a shampoo bar your toothbrush a pair of straight-cut jeans (being worn) >l your bedroom (listening post) Your bed is, of course, the centerpiece of the room. Your desk and bookshelf reside in one corner, while your dresser and mirror are on the other side of the room. Your closet, where most of your clothes can be found, is open, and a compact metal-bladed fan sits nearby. >push button You press the button on the strange device. Subjective knowledge (external): It doesn't have any discernable effect. >n Subjective knowledge (internal) I can't go very far that way without running into the wall. If necessary, I can LOOK to see where I am and what exits are available. >l bathroom (listening post) Subjective knowledge (external): This is the bathroom. The only reason I typically come here is for my brushes. I like to put them in the same cup where Theophila keeps her toothbrush. Subjective knowledge (external): The hallway is to the east. >e first-floor hallway (listening post) Subjective knowledge (external): This is the first-floor hallway. I can go north to the listening room, west to the bathroom, or south to Theophila's bedroom. >n listening room (listening post) Subjective knowledge (external): The listening room is where the listening console is located. I can go south to the hallway, east to the dining room, north to the kitchen, or northwest to the storage room. I could also go up the stairs to the second floor, or down to the basement. >u upstairs hallway (listening post) Subjective knowledge (internal): The hallway has a kind of brilliant bleakness to it. Delicious. Subjective knowledge (internal): My bedroom is to the west. The stairs lead down to the listening room. >w my bedroom (listening post) Subjective knowledge (internal): My bedroom is one of the less interesting rooms of the listening post because Theophila spends very little time here. In order to spruce it up, I have my pet harvestman, Gustav, in a terrarium. Subjective knowledge (internal): It is fascinating that I can own, or be perceived as owning, a biological lifeform. Subjective knowledge (external): The door is to the east. >x gustav Subjective knowledge (external): Gustav has a small yet tough-looking body, supported by eight long, spindly legs that curve oddly wherever they rest upon a hard surface. Subjective knowledge (external): He does what can only be described as a kind of dance. Subjective knowledge (external): He has not been paying any attention whatsoever to the funnel I gave him as a toy recently. >take gustav Subjective knowledge (internal): I don't want to endanger Gustav by carrying him around the house. >take funnel Subjective knowledge (internal): It's pointless to keep the funnel in here if Gustav isn't interested in it. I wonder if Theophila could suggest something that Gustav would enjoy more? She is a biological lifeform, after all, so maybe she can empathize with him. I should ask her about a new toy for Gustav. Subjective knowledge (external): I pick up the funnel. >e upstairs hallway (listening post) Subjective knowledge (internal): The hallway has a kind of brilliant bleakness to it. Delicious. Subjective knowledge (internal): My bedroom is to the west. The stairs lead down to the listening room. >d listening room (listening post) Subjective knowledge (external): The listening room is where the listening console is located. I can go south to the hallway, east to the dining room, north to the kitchen, or northwest to the storage room. I could also go up the stairs to the second floor, or down to the basement. >s first-floor hallway (listening post) Subjective knowledge (external): This is the first-floor hallway. I can go north to the listening room, west to the bathroom, or south to Theophila's bedroom. >s Theophila's bedroom (listening post) Subjective knowledge (external): This is Theophila's bedroom. There is a fan here. Subjective knowledge (internal): That's interesting. But not as interesting as the fact that I'm currently standing in the room where Theophila sleeps. This is a great privilege. Subjective knowledge (external): The hallway is to the north. Inferential knowledge: Theophila seems to be looking for something. >talk to theo Subjective knowledge (internal): If I want to talk, I can try asking Theo about something, or telling her about something. I'm not too keen on telling her what to do, though. That would feel... unsatisfying. >ask theo about toy Subjective knowledge (external): "I'm looking for interesting toys for Gustav," I say. "Something with a stimulating texture. As a biological lifeform, can you offer any insight into what he might like?" Subjective knowledge (external): Theophila taps a finger against her bottom lip as she thinks. Subjective knowledge (internal): She's so cute that she makes me feel like I'm going to explode. Subjective knowledge (external): "How about a hairbrush? I have an old one in my dresser," she offers. "It's got lots of bristles with a kind of wavy pattern to them." >ask theo about toy Subjective knowledge (external): "I'm looking for interesting toys for Gustav," I say. "Something with a stimulating texture. As a biological lifeform, can you offer any insight into what he might like?" Subjective knowledge (external): Theophila taps a finger against her bottom lip as she thinks. Subjective knowledge (internal): She's so cute that she makes me feel like I'm going to explode. Subjective knowledge (external): "How about a hairbrush? I have an old one in my dresser," she offers. "It's got lots of bristles with a kind of wavy pattern to them." >x dresser (Theophila's dresser) This simple dresser consists of several different drawers. Subjective knowledge (external): Theophila picks something up, but puts it back down. >open drawers Subjective knowledge (external): I open the drawers, which are full of socks, undergarments, knives, makeup, hand tools, etc. Subjective knowledge (external): Theophila watches me hike up my socks. >take hairbrush Subjective knowledge (external): I pick up Theophila's hairbrush. Subjective knowledge (external): Theophila is here. Subjective knowledge (internal): She's lovely. >n first-floor hallway (listening post) Subjective knowledge (external): This is the first-floor hallway. I can go north to the listening room, west to the bathroom, or south to Theophila's bedroom. >n listening room (listening post) Subjective knowledge (external): The listening room is where the listening console is located. I can go south to the hallway, east to the dining room, north to the kitchen, or northwest to the storage room. I could also go up the stairs to the second floor, or down to the basement. >u upstairs hallway (listening post) Subjective knowledge (internal): The hallway has a kind of brilliant bleakness to it. Delicious. Subjective knowledge (internal): My bedroom is to the west. The stairs lead down to the listening room. >w my bedroom (listening post) Subjective knowledge (internal): My bedroom is one of the less interesting rooms of the listening post because Theophila spends very little time here. In order to spruce it up, I have my pet harvestman, Gustav, in a terrarium. Subjective knowledge (internal): It is fascinating that I can own, or be perceived as owning, a biological lifeform. Subjective knowledge (external): The door is to the east. >give hairbrush to gustav Subjective knowledge (external): I put the hairbrush in the terrarium. Immediately, Gustav ambles over and begins eating the hairs that are stuck between its bristles. Subjective knowledge (internal): Curious. >take gustav Subjective knowledge (internal): I don't want to endanger Gustav by carrying him around the house. Inferential knowledge: Theophila would be interested to hear that Gustav eats hair. >d Subjective knowledge (internal) I can't go very far that way without running into the wall. If necessary, I can LOOK to see where I am and what exits are available. >s Subjective knowledge (internal) I can't go very far that way without running into the wall. If necessary, I can LOOK to see where I am and what exits are available. >e upstairs hallway (listening post) Subjective knowledge (internal): The hallway has a kind of brilliant bleakness to it. Delicious. Subjective knowledge (internal): My bedroom is to the west. The stairs lead down to the listening room. >d listening room (listening post) Subjective knowledge (external): The listening room is where the listening console is located. I can go south to the hallway, east to the dining room, north to the kitchen, or northwest to the storage room. I could also go up the stairs to the second floor, or down to the basement. >s first-floor hallway (listening post) Subjective knowledge (external): This is the first-floor hallway. I can go north to the listening room, west to the bathroom, or south to Theophila's bedroom. >s Theophila's bedroom (listening post) Subjective knowledge (external): This is Theophila's bedroom. There is a fan here. Subjective knowledge (internal): That's interesting. But not as interesting as the fact that I'm currently standing in the room where Theophila sleeps. This is a great privilege. Subjective knowledge (external): The hallway is to the north. Subjective knowledge (external): Theophila picks something up, but puts it back down. >tell theo about gustav Subjective knowledge (external): "I have some interesting information for you, Theo," I say. Subjective knowledge (hypothetical): Subjective knowledge (external): "Ooooh yes. Ahhh, yes, please," I say. Theophila asks, utterly confused: "Uh... what?" Subjective knowledge (external): "Excuse me. Sometimes when my CPU gets too hot, my generation of subjective knowledge (internal) gets mixed up with subjective knowledge (external). Please ignore what I just said. Anyway, I have some interesting information for you, Theo. It appears that my pet harvestman, Gustav, eats hair." Subjective knowledge (external): Theophila's eyes widen at this revelation. >push button (the button #2) Subjective knowledge (external): I press the button on the prototype hypothetical temporospatial recoordinator #2. Nothing seems to happen. Marigold puts a finger to her chin and stares into space, as if thinking of some weighty topic. >n first-floor hallway (listening post) Not much tends to happen in the hallway. Usually you pass through here on your way to somewhere else without paying much mind to it. But is that really fair? The hallway is an important part of this house, too. A table sits in the corner, hopefully not getting in the way of anyone attempting to walk past. Some paintings hang from the wall. The bathroom is to the west. Your bedroom is to the south. To the north, the hallway opens up into the listening room. >n listening room (listening post) What once was a living room has been transformed into your primary workspace, dominated by the massive listening console against the north wall. Nevertheless, in the center of the room, a sofa and recliner are arranged around a coffee table. Blackout curtains prevent anyone from seeing into the listening room from outside the house. You can go south to the hallway, east to the dining room, north to the kitchen, or northwest to the storage room. You could also go up the stairs to the second floor, or down into the basement. >u upstairs hallway (listening post) This hallway is devoid of decoration, leaving you to ponder the beige carpet and white-painted walls which fade into the background elsewhere in the listening post. The door to Marigold's bedroom is to the west, or you can go down the stairs to the listening room. >w Marigold's bedroom (listening post) More so than any other room in the house, Marigold's bedroom is stark and unornamented. There isn't much here to speak of, apart from the bed, a 3D printer, and a weird terrarium. The hallway is to the east. >take gustav You carefully coax Gustav onto your hand and bring him to your chest. Without hesitation, he eagerly explores your body, eating any and all strands of chest hair he comes across. Moments later, you return Gustav to his terrarium with a full stomach. Your chest hair is completely gone. Success! And not a moment too soon! You'd better hurry to finish getting ready for your date with Hayma. Make sure you're properly dressed before leaving the listening post. >e upstairs hallway (listening post) This hallway is devoid of decoration, leaving you to ponder the beige carpet and white-painted walls which fade into the background elsewhere in the listening post. The door to Marigold's bedroom is to the west, or you can go down the stairs to the listening room. >d listening room (listening post) What once was a living room has been transformed into your primary workspace, dominated by the massive listening console against the north wall. Nevertheless, in the center of the room, a sofa and recliner are arranged around a coffee table. Blackout curtains prevent anyone from seeing into the listening room from outside the house. You can go south to the hallway, east to the dining room, north to the kitchen, or northwest to the storage room. You could also go up the stairs to the second floor, or down into the basement. >s first-floor hallway (listening post) Not much tends to happen in the hallway. Usually you pass through here on your way to somewhere else without paying much mind to it. But is that really fair? The hallway is an important part of this house, too. A table sits in the corner, hopefully not getting in the way of anyone attempting to walk past. Some paintings hang from the wall. The bathroom is to the west. Your bedroom is to the south. To the north, the hallway opens up into the listening room. >i You are carrying: a vacuum a pint of yogurt a pot a fork a roll of duct tape a prototype hypothetical temporospatial recoordinator #1 a greenish skirt a plaid skirt a pair of hot pants a pair of boot-cut jeans a pair of slim-cut jeans a nondescript sweater a Saturnalia sweater a huge coat a sleek jacket an absurd dress (being worn) a spicy blouse a white blouse a t-shirt a pair of nondescript flats a pair of short-heeled boots a pair of jump boots a screwdriver a pair of greyish socks a pair of coffee-print socks a pair of striped socks a pair of purple socks a pair of white socks a pair of cat socks a fixed blade knife a fat pocket knife an old pocket knife a small pocket knife a pair of aviator shades (being worn) a box of band-aids a roll of toilet paper a can of shaving cream a bar of soap a bottle of body wash a bottle of conditioner a shampoo bar your toothbrush a pair of straight-cut jeans (being worn) > saturnalia That's not a verb I recognise. > x saturnalia Featuring a gaudy print of pine trees and pile?, this sweater was knitted for you by your aunt Diane. You used to hate it, and you kind of still do... yet somehow it brings a little warmth to your heart. It reminds you of spending time with your family. >wear cat socks You put on the pair of cat socks. >x spicy This warm orangey-red blouse hugs your curves in all the right places. >wear spicy You take off the absurd dress. You put on the spicy blouse. >wear jacket You put on the sleek jacket. >i You are carrying: a vacuum a pint of yogurt a pot a fork a roll of duct tape a prototype hypothetical temporospatial recoordinator #1 a greenish skirt a plaid skirt a pair of hot pants a pair of boot-cut jeans a pair of slim-cut jeans a nondescript sweater a Saturnalia sweater a huge coat a sleek jacket (being worn) an absurd dress a spicy blouse (being worn) a white blouse a t-shirt a pair of nondescript flats a pair of short-heeled boots a pair of jump boots a screwdriver a pair of greyish socks a pair of coffee-print socks a pair of striped socks a pair of purple socks a pair of white socks a pair of cat socks (being worn) a fixed blade knife a fat pocket knife an old pocket knife a small pocket knife a pair of aviator shades (being worn) a box of band-aids a roll of toilet paper a can of shaving cream a bar of soap a bottle of body wash a bottle of conditioner a shampoo bar your toothbrush a pair of straight-cut jeans (being worn) >x me You've succeeded in dealing with your chest hair! Now you just need to get dressed and head out for your date with Hayma. >wear boots Which do you mean, the pair of short-heeled boots or the pair of jump boots? >jump You jump on the spot. >wear jump boots You put on the pair of jump boots. >x me You've succeeded in dealing with your chest hair! Now you just need to get dressed and head out for your date with Hayma. >n listening room (listening post) What once was a living room has been transformed into your primary workspace, dominated by the massive listening console against the north wall. Nevertheless, in the center of the room, a sofa and recliner are arranged around a coffee table. Blackout curtains prevent anyone from seeing into the listening room from outside the house. You can go south to the hallway, east to the dining room, north to the kitchen, or northwest to the storage room. You could also go up the stairs to the second floor, or down into the basement. >e dining room (listening post) It's nice to sit at the dining table and enjoy a home-cooked meal. Lately, though, you're more likely to park on the sofa and munch on a bag of chips. Why is that, Theophila? Behind a short cabinet, the windows are, of course, covered with blackout curtains. The listening room is to the west, while a sheet stretches across the doorway to the entryway to the east. >e Pushing the sheet aside, you walk into the entryway. entryway (listening post) The only room in the listening post where you can get natural light, coming in from the front windows. A shoe mat sits next to the front door. To the west, the doorway into the dining room is covered by an ostensibly decorative black sheet. Or you could go out the front door to the east. >e You're all ready for date night with a smooth, freshly-munched chest! But first, you place the yogurt down. There's no way you're bringing that with you. Stepping out the door, you find your bicycle and begin pedalling down the road. Subjective knowledge (internal): My metaphorical heart pines for Theophila as she rides off to meet her girlfriend. I do hope she has a pleasant night out, even though I'd prefer she have a pleasant night in. Subjective knowledge (internal): In me. >n first-floor hallway (listening post) Subjective knowledge (external): This is the first-floor hallway. I can go north to the listening room, west to the bathroom, or south to Theophila's bedroom. >n listening room (listening post) Subjective knowledge (external): The listening room is where the listening console is located. I can go south to the hallway, east to the dining room, north to the kitchen, or northwest to the storage room. I could also go up the stairs to the second floor, or down to the basement. >e dining room (listening post) Subjective knowledge (external): The listening room is to the west, while a sheet stretches across the doorway to the entryway to the east. >e Subjective knowledge (external): I push the sheet aside and walk into the entryway. entryway (listening post) Subjective knowledge (external): This is the entryway. I can go west to the dining room. The front door is to the east. Subjective knowledge (external): I see the pint of yogurt here. >take pint Subjective knowledge (external): I pick up the pint of yogurt. >l entryway (listening post) Subjective knowledge (external): This is the entryway. I can go west to the dining room. The front door is to the east. >e Subjective knowledge (internal): I shouldn't leave the listening post. I've got to be available in case the listening console hears anything. >w Subjective knowledge (external): I push the sheet aside and walk into the dining room. dining room (listening post) Subjective knowledge (external): The listening room is to the west, while a sheet stretches across the doorway to the entryway to the east. Subjective knowledge (external): A high-pitched chirp echoes throughout the listening post. It's the listening console. I hurry to the listening room to check the readout. Subjective knowledge (external): The listening console has heard something. I check the readout. Received knowledge: There is an intruder. As usual, the intruder is in the basement. Subjective knowledge (internal): I'll need to go see what it wants. Before I head down there, I should make sure I'm ready for any eventuality. Intruders are unpredictable. Maybe I could get hurt. Subjective knowledge (external): My cooling fan begins to whirr a bit faster. listening room (listening post) Subjective knowledge (external): The listening room is where the listening console is located. I can go south to the hallway, east to the dining room, north to the kitchen, or northwest to the storage room. I could also go up the stairs to the second floor, or down to the basement. Subjective knowledge (internal): I need to meet the intruder in the basement as soon as I'm prepared. >d basement (listening post). Subjective knowledge (external): The basement is where intruders usually show up. It's the part of the listening post that's usually closest to the hole. Subjective knowledge (external): The only way out is to go up, back to the listening room. Subjective knowledge (external): I don't see the intruder, but I hear it, as is typical. With a series of taps that I make with my fingers, I convey curiosity as to what the intruder is, and why it came here. Subjective knowledge (external): The intruder expresses its dismay that the shape of space allows only a small part of it to interact with a small part of me. It can see parts of me that are unknown to the part of me with which it is able to interact. If it were possible, the intruder would like to consume me in my entirety. In order to make this possible, it requests that I return the grand antiprism and the fucked-up tetrahedron that my boss stole from it. Subjective knowledge (external): I try to convey that I do not wish to be consumed, nor am I willing to part with the items in question, because then my boss would be pissy. The intruder either does not understand or does not care. It indicates that is is going to consume everything it can find until it obtains the grand antiprism and the fucked-up tetrahedron. Subjective knowledge (internal): Negotiations have failed. I'll probably need to kill the intruder. Subjective knowledge (external): A small piece of the wall vanishes, apparently consumed by the intruder. Subjective knowledge (internal): Thrilling. I could become prey for the intruder, just like any biological lifeform might be eaten to sustain a predator. Subjective knowledge (external): My cooling fan is rattling like mad. >throw yoghurt at intruder Subjective knowledge (external): For maximum effect, I remove the lid from the pint of yogurt, exposing a mycorrhizal menagerie. Strange beings of blue, black, grurple, glulx, and other colors not normally associated with plain yogurt waft out of the container. Out of the corner of my eye, I spot a fly drift into the room and immediately drop dead. Subjective knowledge (external): With a deft flick, I smash the powerful yogurt into the intruder, which consumes the entire pint on contact. Subjective knowledge (external): As it fades from this world, the intruder uses its last dying clicks and taps to convey profound depths of pain and hatred toward me, such as I have never before experienced. Not only have I killed it, but it believes - though I cannot entirely follow its alien reasoning - that I have betrayed it. Though the intruder will die, its abject contempt for what I've done will remain as a wretched stain upon the eleven-dimension manifold, visible to God zirself, even when ze's not wearing zir glasses. Subjective knowledge (internal): Thrilling. >l basement (listening post). Subjective knowledge (external): The basement is where intruders usually show up. It's the part of the listening post that's usually closest to the hole. Subjective knowledge (external): The only way out is to go up, back to the listening room. Subjective knowledge (internal): I am despised. Subjective knowledge (external): My cooling fan rolls to a stop. Its motor is burnt out completely. Inferential knowledge: I will be able to perform one, perhaps two more acts before my motor systems shut down due to overheating. >u listening room (listening post) Subjective knowledge (external): The listening room is where the listening console is located. I can go south to the hallway, east to the dining room, north to the kitchen, or northwest to the storage room. I could also go up the stairs to the second floor, or down to the basement. Subjective knowledge (external): That's it. I fall to the floor, paralyzed. >l listening room (listening post) Subjective knowledge (external): The listening room is where the listening console is located. I can go south to the hallway, east to the dining room, north to the kitchen, or northwest to the storage room. I could also go up the stairs to the second floor, or down to the basement. >push button Subjective knowledge (external): I press the button on the prototype hypothetical temporospatial recoordinator #2. It doesn't have any discernable effect. >e Subjective knowledge (external): I can't move my body. My motor systems have been automatically shut down due to overheating. >z Subjective knowledge (external): I can't move my body. My motor systems have been automatically shut down due to overheating. >z Subjective knowledge (external): I can't move my body. My motor systems have been automatically shut down due to overheating. >z Subjective knowledge (external): I can't move my body. My motor systems have been automatically shut down due to overheating. >z Subjective knowledge (external): I can't move my body. My motor systems have been automatically shut down due to overheating. Subjective knowledge (external): Theophila is back. Inferential knowledge: She has been crying. Subjective knowledge (external): Her expression changes to one of shock when she notices me on the floor. (press any key) "Marigold! What happened?!" She lays motionless on the floor, smoke rising from her pelvis, where her cooling fan is. Its typical whirring is conspicuously absent. Oh God. Is she...? "I fear I've made a bit of a mess. Fortunately, our perceptible space was spared the worst of it," she responds, though her lips don't move. "Goddamn it, Marigold!" you thunder. This is too much. If she were hurt... "Goddamn it, Marigold, I need to know that you're okay!" "Ooh, I beg your foregiveness, Theo. I'm deeply sorry for being an inconvenience to-" "SHUT UP AND TELL ME IF YOU'RE OKAY." (press any key) "Yes. I'm okay." "Good." "I've just overheated." she explains. "I'll be fine as soon as my body cools down." You sigh in exasperation. "Damn it, Marigold, why don't you take care of yourself? Your fan's been going bad for weeks." "I'm sorry for my flagrant irresponsibility, Theo, but there's no need for you to be so concerned over a two-bit hunk of junk like -" You've had enough of this. "I AM CONCERNED ABOUT YOU! And it... it pisses me off that you're so careless with yourself." "..." "It fucking pisses me off. Because I'd be really upset if you were hurt." "Now hold still," you say, "not like you have any choice in the matter. I'm going to replace your cooling fan. You have the replacement part sitting in your closet, don't you?" (press any key) Within minutes, you've assembled your tools. With thick rubber gloves, you prepare to open Marigold up. Her skirt is cast aside, giving you an unrestricted view of her pelvic maintenance access. "Be careful," she warns. "It's hot in there." You open the access and dive in. A trickle of hot, viscous, red liquid runs out onto the floor. It almost burns your skin, even through the glove. "What is this?" you ask. "Aaah - that's, uh, hydraulic fluid. It's really nothing to worry about. A little bit leaks out from the system every now and then. It's fine as long as I keep it topped up." You run your fingers across her insides, looking for the source of the leak. "Ah!" she suddenly cries out. "That's it. That's the spot." The wetness on your finger confirms it; you take your fusion-powered soldering iron and mend the leaky old pipe. (press any key) "Aaanh, don't stop," Marigold implores, "You're so close. Right... uhn!" You clasp your hands around the old cooling fan. Its blades are grimy and full of debris. "Good God. You're filthy," you remark. "I'm a... ah... I'm a dirty, filthy gynoid..." Taking her wire brush, you begin to clean the fanblades. "Oh... ah! Right there! Mmmn, right there, that's where my cooling fan is the dirtiest!" "Shut up," you say, "I have eyes." (press any key) Finally, you pull the old motor out. The air shimmers with the sheer heat of it. Simply holding it in front of your makes your entire body feel hot, as well. "I'm almost finished!" Marigold calls out. "Put it in me! Please!" You are happy to oblige, screwing the replacement fan motor into place and hooking up the wires. "Yes... yes... light me up!" You press the reset button on the inside of the maintenance access and watch Marigold's entrails roar to life. The fan whirrs with such strength that it blows droplets of residual hydraulic fluid straight into your face. Marigold squirms with delight as you close the maintenance access. "Thank you, Theo. I really needed that." And that was... (press any key) Turbo Chest Hair Massacre A real piece of work by Joey Acrimonious Release 1 / Serial number 201015 / Inform 7 build 6M62 (I6/v6.33 lib 6/12N) *** The End *** Would you like to RESTART, RESTORE a saved game, QUIT or UNDO the last command? >