Contents -------- 1. How It Will End The end is in the beginning. > How It Will End How It Will End --------------- Sooner or later you're going to lose. You are a junior spelling champion. Your parents have been teaching you at home since you were four. You've never wasted a moment in a conventional classroom. Instead you stay home and study. Spelling, reading, English. Word lists. Latin for etymology. You play Scrabble and Boggle. You have boxes of flash cards. And you keep up your other studies as well, because you have to spend at least four hours a day on conventional, non-spelling subjects to be eligible. You go to church. You do chores. You attend home-schooling co-op events so that you'll meet a wide range of people. 1. Even with all that work, it's very, very unlikely that you'll win at Nationals. 2. But you can try. You can absolutely try. > But you can try. You can absolutely try. Lots of people try; only one a year succeeds. You have to be aware that you might lose, and lose again, year after year, until your eligibility runs out. That's what happens to almost everyone. But in a way, that's part of the point. Once your sister asked Father why it is people have to be good if original sin means no one is ever going to get it right anyway. Father looked blank for a moment. Then he thought of something; pointed his head at you. "Your sister *probably* isn't going to win the National Spelling Bee," he says. "But she keeps studying. That shows to you and me and Mom and everyone at the Co-op how much she cares about getting things right. We see she's trying hard, and that makes it easier to forgive her mistakes when she does make them." He's used that analogy a couple of times since. He even wrote up the incident for the church bulletin. Called it The Theology of Flash Cards. 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. Lettice Your sister's place. 2. Church Where you spend most of the time when you're not at home. 3. The Co-op Shared resources with other home-schooling families. > Church Church ------ You go to church at least once a week, obviously, and often more than that during certain seasons. There is special Bible study during Lent, and a lot of services around Christmas. Besides home and the Co-op, church is the place you know best in the world. 1. Your favorite thing is the flowers and stained glass. 2. What's more, it's very familiar. 3. Still, sometimes services get very boring. > Your favorite thing is the flowers and stained glass. The priests dress up. The choir has robes. There are flowers, incense, and stained glass. There are thick white candles on the altar, bigger than any candlestick anyone would ever use on a table at home. A cross hangs above the altar, and two spotlights shine on it, so that it casts two additional shadow-crosses on the back wall of the church. Perhaps the shadow-crosses represent the two thieves who were crucified alongside Jesus. Everything in church is like that: pointing to something else, outside and above the church or the congregation or the Earth itself. 1. It must be very expensive to keep all of that going. 2. But it's a sign to the secular world. > But it's a sign to the secular world. Maybe, when unchurched people come inside -- for Easter or Christmas, for example, or for weddings or funerals -- maybe all of this will say something to them. Maybe they'll look at the flowers and the shiny plates and think that something is missing from their lives. 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. Lettice Your sister's place. 2. The Co-op Shared resources with other home-schooling families. > Lettice Lettice ------- Your sister, Lettice, suffers daily from being named almost after a vegetable. Her full name is Letitia. As a little girl, she couldn't say all the syllables. She called herself Lettice, and it stuck. Lettice does not mind your parents as much as you do. This is true in both senses of the word "mind." If Father gives a direction Lettice doesn't like, she will sit under the table and draw instead. She still sucks her thumb when she feels like it. She eats what she wants to and ignores the rest of the food. Once she took a bowl of lentil soup out in the back yard and dug holes and planted little dollops of lentil every two inches. Though your family is odd, Lettice doesn't seem embarrassed when new people come to visit. She doesn't apologize for the purple drapes Mother made of remnant cloth, even though, if you look closely, the purple drapes are patterned with tiny purple aliens. Lettice is not interested in learning to spell for the Bee, either. 1. Possibly Lettice is not the sharpest. 2. Then again, she's your only natural ally. > Then again, she's your only natural ally. Who else is there to talk to on long road trips? Who else has to wake up as early as you do for prayers? Even the other home-schooling kids you know aren't home-schooled in exactly the same way. One night you're sent to bed early. For comfort, Lettice puts a drawing on your pillow. It shows Father with a cloud of exclamation points over his head, shaking his finger, his eyebrows represented by one black V. And Mother working at the sewing machine, making a dress big enough for a giantess. 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. The Co-op Shared resources with other home-schooling families. > The Co-op The Co-op --------- Your local home-schooling co-op is one of the biggest in the state. The co-op has its own resource center, a rented storefront in a strip mall surrounded by pine trees. Inside there are shelves of used textbooks, parent guides, and inspirational literature, donated by families who have already been through them. 1. Sometimes the books supplement when families are on a low income. 2. Or introduce them to new ideas. 3. Also, there's a much bigger dictionary than most families have at home. > Also, there's a much bigger dictionary than most families have at home. The dictionary has its own pedestal and is so big that you can hardly lift it. It is useful for those occasions when there's a spelling word so obscure that you can't find good sourcing on the internet. It is also just pleasing to turn over the big thin sheets of paper. Sometimes one of the parents with special skills will run a class for the whole co-op: how to count in French, for instance, or how to dye yarn. These classes are held in the back room of the resource center. Inside it always smells like something sweet and brown and sickly, wafting from the home-brewing supply shop next door. 1. Mercifully, your parents don't sign you up often. 2. Actually, it might be nice to have more classes with other kids. > Actually, it might be nice to have more classes with other kids. Maybe the classes you've been to weren't that challenging, but it's nice sometimes to know what other students are working on. It's so hard to tell how you compare with everyone else when you're just doing home-planned curricula in your own living room. The Co-op also has a bulletin board, where parents can announce field trips and projects that they're offering jointly. Your parents typically do not organize these things, but just wait for Mrs. Perry to call and invite you. Mrs. Perry organizes *everything*. 1. Maybe it would be better to be one of the Perry kids. 2. Then again, nothing could replace your own parents. > Maybe it would be better to be one of the Perry kids. Other parents are always talking about Mrs Perry and the Perry kids. Her picture appears on the front of homeschooling magazines, and she gives interviews about how to raise Godly children. They're like an example in a textbook; you overheard Mother saying so to Father once. "A textbook example," she said, and she looked annoyed. Maybe she was jealous too. 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. Spelling Practice Getting started on words for the new year. 2. Handwashing Hand-knitted things can't be washed in the machine. 3. Clipping Coupons Another common chore. > Spelling Practice Spelling Practice ----------------- You start with a word list. It's alphabetically ordered, and each word has a number next to it, which is the grade level at which you're expected to know the word. The word list involves a lot of pruning to start with. You cross out all the words you know, and identify another set that are just concatenations of familiar terms. For instance, it's not as though you need any review of 1. LECTERN. 2. MINESTRONE. 3. PHOTOSYNTHESIS. 4. Any of the above. You can spend all night pruning this list. [Unavailable] You don't have the motivation for that effort. > PHOTOSYNTHESIS. *Photosynthesis.* You've done a botany unit already with Mother. You planned your own field trip for it, even. Two other homeschooling families came along from the co-op. When you read on the website that the paths could be muddy after rain, it was you who had to call the other families and warn them to wear boots. (Mother listened on the phone line to make sure that you didn't make a mistake, but you didn't.) You had a picnic, and a supervised tour with the arboretum staff. You noted down a lot of interesting tree names. Lettice came home with a sketchbook full of azaleas and foreign trees from Australia. 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. Spelling Practice Getting started on words for the new year. 2. Middle School English A hired tutor for you. 3. The Legend of Public School Mother and Father share anecdotes about what public school used to be like. > Spelling Practice Spelling Practice ----------------- You start with a word list. It's alphabetically ordered, and each word has a number next to it, which is the grade level at which you're expected to know the word. The word list involves a lot of pruning to start with. You cross out all the words you know, and identify another set that are just concatenations of familiar terms. For instance, it's not as though you need any review of 1. LECTERN. 2. MINESTRONE. 3. Any of the above. You can spend all night pruning this list. [Unavailable] You don't have the motivation for that effort. > MINESTRONE. *Minestrone.* When Mother freezes large amounts of soup, this is one of the standard ones she makes. You get to help pick which beans and pasta are going in. Minestrone means the smell of tomatoes, steam condensing inside the kitchen windows, the middle of an autumn afternoon. 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. Jam Your family makes its yearly jam. 2. The House of Mildew An introduction to another family. 3. Ironing In which you help with the chores. > The House of Mildew The House of Mildew ------------------- Your family meets their family at church. Their family takes up an entire row and their father is the only one who speaks during the service. The others are silent, even during hymns. But they're another home-schooling family, and they have a son who's just about your age, Jerome. 1. All your previous crushes have had names that started with J. > All your previous crushes have had names that started with J. Jerome must be meant for you too. 1. "Jerome. J. E. R. O M E. Jerome." > "Jerome. J. E. R. O M E. Jerome." "Jerome. J. E. R. O M E. Jerome." You whisper it to yourself as a bedtime treat after you have run through the day's other exercises: ACCOMMODATE, DESICCATE. But this dream dies hard. Their dad invites your family over. You all go. Their house smells like mold. Jerome ignores you. 1. He is also not attractive. > He is also not attractive. His sister Flauberta plays the flute, badly, and expects everyone to be very interested. 1. Flauberta. F L A U. B E R. T A. Example sentence: Flauberta is a disappointing flautist. > Flauberta. F L A U. B E R. T A. Example sentence: Flauberta is a disappointing flautist. For dinner there is a soup that tastes like socks. "It is garlic soup," the mother explains, smiling like the smile was painted onto a doll's head. "We grow the garlic in the back garden. Flauberta plays the flute to it." After dinner, your mother and their mother talk about patterns for modest clothing, how high above the sock the hemline should appear, and which types of collar are the least likely to display underclothes or bare skin. Flauberta reads aloud an article from the World Book Encyclopedia for the edification of the children. The fathers go out on the patio and have a conversation in the dark, with cigars. You can see the lights at the end of the cigars glowing and going away while Flauberta reads about the colonization of Guinea-Bissau and Jerome pays no attention to anyone. 1. Probably they think they are better at social studies than you. 2. Aren't cigars for rich people? > Aren't cigars for rich people? Perhaps the father of the house is richer than his moldy-smelling carpet would let on. 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. Lawn Mowing Time to mow. 2. The Homeschooling Newsletter Father begins a new project, and other members of the family are invited to help out. 3. J E R O M E In which Jerome speaks. > J E R O M E J E R O M E ----------- Jerome is the only student in Sunday School class when you walk in. Even the teacher is not there yet. "Hi," you say. Jerome does not answer. 1. Forget it and work on spelling. 2. Try to draw him out. > Try to draw him out. "Nice to see you again," you say. Jerome twists in his seat. "Look, what is it? Do you have a crush on me or something?" 1. Deny all knowledge. 2. Laugh. 3. Cop to some earlier curiosity. > Laugh. You laugh. You laugh really hard. You laugh like that's the punchline of the funniest joke you ever heard. So hard you have to go to the bathroom and put water on your face and not come back until there are a bunch of other students in the room. It's possible Jerome thinks you wet your pants laughing at his comedy. When you come back into the room, late for the start of class, he's giving you a funny look. 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. Afrikaans Loan Words A short list but strange. 2. The Family with All the Stuff An introduction to Mrs. Barron, who also homeschools her children. 3. The State Fair In which you attend the State Fair and have the opportunity to examine the exhibits there. > Afrikaans Loan Words Afrikaans Loan Words -------------------- You shuffle through a few cards picked up from a source list online. There aren't too many of these that have made it into English, but you never know. 1. ROOIBOS 2. BERGWIND 3. BILTONG 4. SPOOR > ROOIBOS Rooibos is... yes, you thought it sounded familiar. Some sort of plant, used like herbal tea. "A broom-like member of the legume family." It's the pronunciation you can't guess at. 1. You can do without knowing. > You can do without knowing. Perhaps asking for the language of origin will be enough to jog your memory, if this one ever comes around. 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. J E R O M E In which Jerome speaks. 2. The Doll No good deed goes unpunished. 3. Afrikaans Loan Words A short list but strange. > The Doll The Doll -------- Father takes the doll away from you one morning. "Is this what you are spending your time on?" You've been working with Mother's cloth remnants, making calico dresses and white aprons for the doll with tiny stitches. It is hard work. The patterns are not easy to scale to doll size, and whenever you need to use a button or a snap it is comically large in comparison to everything else. Also, ruffles and frills do not scale down. The cloth may be cut shorter, but it is still as thick as ever. "Sometimes," you say. It's not for you. It's to amuse Lettice. "You're too old for such things," Father says, frowning at the doll. He seems aware, vaguely, that the outfit it is wearing -- an apron with satin-stitched apples in the corner, and a deep blue gown -- is not the outfit it came with. "We will give it to charity." 1. (Charity. C, H, A--) 2. Grab the doll back. > Grab the doll back. You seize the doll and pull. "It's not *for* charity," you say. Father is holding the doll by the hair, and its head pops off. "Well," he says. "Looks like it's not for anyone, now. Let that be a lesson to you to speak civilly rather than trying to grab and pull things." As if speaking civilly would have gotten the doll back. 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. Ironing In which you help with the chores. 2. Latin Root Studies Practical Latin work. 3. The Legend of Public School Mother and Father share anecdotes about what public school used to be like. > The Legend of Public School The Legend of Public School --------------------------- Father and Mother are in a reminiscent mood about how things used to be for them. These stories have a tendency to repeat after a while, like stories told before going to bed. 1. Listen politely. 2. Slip out of the room to do a little more reading. > Listen politely. "They have the most terrible food in school," says Mother. "It's all made in a big vat by a lunch lady. Sometimes it's chili and sometimes it's soup, but it always tastes disgusting. And there are hardly any fresh vegetables." "And they make you have chocolate milk," says Father. "It comes in little cartons, and you have to bring coins to school to buy it with. Once I couldn't have ordinary milk, even when it was Lent and I was off chocolate." 1. The world isn't always on our side. 2. Bet the other kids made fun of Father. 3. Having to drink chocolate milk is a pretty whiny thing to complain about. > Having to drink chocolate milk is a pretty whiny thing to complain about. "I hear that Roman Christians were also forced to drink chocolate milk in the arena," you say. Father gives you a sharp look. "That's enough of you being smart, young lady." 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. It's All Happening At the Zoo Your co-op's yearly trip to the Zoo. 2. Afrikaans Loan Words A short list but strange. 3. Middle School English A hired tutor for you. > Middle School English Middle School English --------------------- After a certain point, you stop gaining anything from workbooks. Your parents put up an advertisement at a local college. "English student wanted," it says. "$20/lesson. To teach *extremely talented* middle schooler literature and composition. High school level reading materials would be appropriate." There are applicants. College students are always poor. There are a series of interviews that you are not encouraged to attend. Sometimes, stopping outside the living room door during these interviews, you hear snippets of conversation. "Academically advanced," says your mother's voice firmly. "Spelling champion... Superb grammar... Very disciplined... No disobedience." At the end of each interview, Mother leads the student to the door of the study and lets the interviewee look in at you as though you were a creature at the zoo. No words are exchanged and the student is led away again. 1. Look interesting. 2. Ignore them and keep working. > Look interesting. You contrive to be diligently reading a young person's Homer translation when they look in. It conveys the right sort of image, you think. Though there are only so many times you can read about the Cyclops and his cheese. The teacher your parents choose is Sara, a skinny girl with thatch-colored hair who bites her nails. She always looks cold in your house. After the first lesson, she always wears a lumpy woolen sweater knitted with pictures of sheep. 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. Halloween Celebrating Halloween in your household. 2. Arabic Loan Words Dominated by the letters AL- 3. Lessons from Sara English lessons begin. > Lessons from Sara Lessons from Sara ----------------- English lessons with Sara are awkward and mysterious. She sits with her legs tucked under her and asks you questions about the book you've read that week. They are not factual questions, such as "Whom did Natasha love?" They are not questions of faith or morality, like "What sin caused Oedipus' downfall?" They're vague questions, plushy questions. "What does the color black represent?" she asks earnestly after you read *Othello*. 1. The Devil? Black is often for the devil. > The Devil? Black is often for the devil. "The Devil is the bad guy, and bad guys wear black." "Well..." She pushes her curtain of straw-textured hair behind one ear. "It might be something subtler than that." The neckline of her woolen sweater slips down and you get a glimpse of a magenta bra-strap peeking out. The color scandalizes and electrifies. 1. What does magenta represent? 2. It's time for spelling now, anyway. 3. Study questions would help. > What does magenta represent? She catches you looking, and adjusts her sweater over the bra strap again. She doesn't seem embarrassed, though. "My lucky bra," she explains. "I have an econ exam later." 1. It's time for spelling now, anyway. 2. Study questions would help. > Study questions would help. "Maybe if you gave me some study questions I would be better at this," you offer hesitantly. It is lesson ten. Sara is sitting in the scruffy porridge-colored armchair. In the next room your mother is bartering with Celia Hopgood to exchange a car battery and a sack of dry peas for some home tailoring. "They're not questions with one answer," Sara says, knee bouncing against the arm of the chair. "You should say whatever you think. It won't be wrong." 1. If it can't be wrong, what's the point of learning it? 2. It's time for spelling now, anyway. > If it can't be wrong, what's the point of learning it? "If it can't be wrong, what's the point of learning it?" "Hmm. That's an excellent question." Sara seems more pleased by this impertinence than by any of the hesitating answers you've given before. She looks around the room and a thought occurs to her. "Why do you reread Bible stories?" "To make sure we understand them?" You stick your hands under your legs to prevent yourself from biting the nails, as you sometimes want to do when asked questions like this. "Do you understand them the same way every time?" 1. That story about Ruth and Boaz seemed more innocent a couple years ago. 2. It's time for spelling now, anyway. > That story about Ruth and Boaz seemed more innocent a couple years ago. "We might get them wrong at first," you say. "So I guess maybe no." Sara slumps in her chair. "Okay, look," she says. "Every time you read something, you're building a bridge between you, the person you are now and the time you're in, to the author, the person she was and the time she belonged to." "Or he." "Or he," Sara agrees amiably. "So what the story means, that's partly about you and partly about the author. It doesn't just, just *mean* in the abstract. It means something *to* someone. Meaning exists in relationship." 1. Except the Bible. 2. Except if you don't know the right meanings of words. 3. It's time for spelling now, anyway. > Except if you don't know the right meanings of words. "Yes," you say. "But what if I don't know what all the words mean? Maybe I think 'handkerchief' is a word for a kind of goat. Then the story won't mean the right thing." "Fortunately you are very good at vocabulary," says Sara, with a mild smile. "I don't think you will be having that kind of misinterpretation." 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. That Other Question A standard conversation. 2. Consultation Jerome asks an opinion. 3. Previously Missed Words Going over words missed in previous national bees. > Previously Missed Words Previously Missed Words ----------------------- In previous years this would have been harder, but these days you can get lists down from the internet. The cards and their definitions paper your walls, like leaves on a tree. 1. NOISETTE 2. CANICULAR 3. Do the whole list right now. [Unavailable] > CANICULAR CANICULAR. To do with dogs. From the Latin *canis*. Sometimes it gets into your dreams at night. CANICULAR cake. The Canicular Bakery. Dog-shaped cakes. You dream of lopping off an ear full of pastry cream. 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. The Family with All the Stuff An introduction to Mrs. Barron, who also homeschools her children. 2. Exercises in Reading Between the Lines A question of employment. 3. Consultation Jerome asks an opinion. > The Family with All the Stuff The Family with All the Stuff ----------------------------- There are things piled everywhere. College-ruled pages with Latin declensions written out on them. Graph paper with quadratic equations. Physics problem sets. Clippings from a local newspaper, mostly the crosswords and logic puzzles, but sometimes also stories about scientific advances. "Just shove over some of that," says Mrs. Barron, pointing at a sofa covered with textbooks. "I've got a pineapple upside down cake in the oven. Do you like pineapple upside down cake?" You don't, but this doesn't seem the moment to say so. "I was hoping you and my sons could be friends," says Mrs. Barron. She talks with her hands, and the bright red nail polish has you mesmerized. Your mother would not approve of nail polish like that. 1. What sort of Jezebel paints her nails and doesn't clean house? 2. It's chaotic, but it has a certain compelling quality. > It's chaotic, but it has a certain compelling quality. Everything is chaos. There's a potted bamboo in the corner and someone has stuck a hat on it. A plate of sandwich crumbs is underneath a geography worksheet bearing the vital statistics of Kazakhstan. The cuckoo clock on the wall is broken and doesn't tell the time, and the bird is sticking out as though he's come to visit and can't take the hint to go home again. But, but but but, there's something about this place that feels -- no, you don't have a word for it. "Listen, sweetheart, I've got the sense that your parents don't let you do much visiting," says Mrs. Barron. "Our house is on the extreme end --" (she laughs here) "-- but I think you'll find that very few mothers are quite as house-proud as yours." 1. What does she expect you to say to that, exactly? 2. Mother does her best. 3. Yes, even this bizarre woman thinks your parents are strange. > Yes, even this bizarre woman thinks your parents are strange. "Yeah, they're... kind of strange," you agree. There doesn't really seem to be much point in denying it. "Don't worry, sweetie," says Mrs. Barron, patting the back of your hand. "I know it feels very uncomfortable where you are now, but you'll be grown up sooner than you realize, and then -- well, it's not like you wear your parents around your neck." "I'm sorry?" "I mean, when you're grown up you can be different from them. No one will ever have to know what you came from. It's *okay*." You swallow, not comforted. "Do you get to meet very many boys your age?" Mrs. Barron asks. "Sometimes at church." "You'll like mine," says Mrs. Barron confidently. The oven dings. "Stay here," she says. "That'll be the cake. I so rarely get a chance to have anyone over to tea! But with the boys camping..." And so the prattle goes on, and Mrs. Barron serves you adult tea with caffeine in it, and pineapple cake that is too sweet. However, it is the first time you can remember that you've been a guest at an adult's house, just you, by yourself. 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. Mr. Barron Intervenes A friend of your parents tries to intervene. 2. Isolation Longing for the opening of the lid. 3. Was It This Way For the Desert Fathers? The private mystery of letters. > Was It This Way For the Desert Fathers? Was It This Way For the Desert Fathers? --------------------------------------- In the early, filtered light, when you are doing your spelling and no one else is awake, you think things about your spelling words that are half dreams. 1. how solid the sounds are 2. how they are the dust of lost peoples (that you will never meet) 3. no one else would have these thoughts 4. not even mother and father > how they are the dust of lost peoples (that you will never meet) If a woman were a shut-in all her life — as you sometimes feel you are — perhaps late in life she would ask for someone to bring her a tray, and on that tray as many as possible of the things of the world outside, then perhaps she would lie on her white cotton pillow and wait; expecting to have to make do with a jar of tea, a scrap of sailcloth, some frayed electric wire, a Chinese coin. But her caretaker, being cleverer, would bring her the dictionary, and she would lie there turning over all the thousands on thousands of nouns, from ASH to VIRIDITY. 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. Mr. Barron Intervenes A friend of your parents tries to intervene. 2. Was It This Way For the Desert Fathers? The private mystery of letters. 3. Isolation Longing for the opening of the lid. > Isolation Isolation --------- Lying face-down on the carpet in the study. It is early in the morning. No one else is awake. You are printing off your worksheets for the day. The printer works, and while it works, you can get an extra moment or two of lying down, almost as though you were sleeping in. The carpet is very close to your nose. Like everything. The thought that comes is like a stranger speaking in your head. *If I ever killed myself, it would be from boredom.* 1. Everyone has odd half-asleep thoughts. It's nothing. 2. You'd be less bored if your parents let you out. Ever. 3. If you go to Nationals, you'll get to make a trip cross-country. > If you go to Nationals, you'll get to make a trip cross-country. You could go to Washington, D.C. You could see the important buildings. Father would come along, and he would have a lot to say about the politics, and about how you were in the worst school district in the country, about the district as a locus of failure and folly and wrong. But. The architecture of the White House. The Washington Monument, which looks so pointy. The Capitol Building. The Smithsonian. The moon rock in its glass case. (OLIVINE BASALT, supplies your mind's word list unnecessarily.) All that... *aspiration*. Scientific, philosophical, moral. 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. Was It This Way For the Desert Fathers? The private mystery of letters. 2. Isolation Longing for the opening of the lid. 3. Mr. Barron Intervenes A friend of your parents tries to intervene. > Isolation Isolation --------- Lying face-down on the carpet in the study. It is early in the morning. No one else is awake. You are printing off your worksheets for the day. The printer works, and while it works, you can get an extra moment or two of lying down, almost as though you were sleeping in. The carpet is very close to your nose. Like everything. The thought that comes is like a stranger speaking in your head. *If I ever killed myself, it would be from boredom.* 1. Everyone has odd half-asleep thoughts. It's nothing. 2. You'd be less bored if your parents let you out. Ever. 3. If you go to Nationals, you'll get to make a trip cross-country. > You'd be less bored if your parents let you out. Ever. You know the standard answers about socialization and child development. You know that you see people at church and field trips and the co-op. You know that you have more meaningful interactions with adults, officially, than most young people your age. You know that you are waiting. 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. Mr. Barron Intervenes A friend of your parents tries to intervene. 2. Moodiness Questions of "attitude." 3. Lettice's Aquarium Encouraging Lettice in a project. > Lettice's Aquarium Lettice's Aquarium ------------------ Lettice has a blue sketchbook that she has been working on for years. On the front are silver letters that she cut out of sticky paper, which spell A Q U A R I U M. The inside of the aquarium is pages and pages of fish, and curious shelled creatures, and things with tentacles. 1. Check out what she's been working on lately. 2. Correct the spelling on the latest page. > Check out what she's been working on lately. The current drawing is a picture of a red puffer fish. Lettice has drawn it in crayon, and it has many many spikes. Strange objects from under the sea have gotten stuck to the spikes of the puffer, including something donut-shaped. "What is that?" "It's a tire," Lettice explains. "Sometimes people throw them into the ocean, remember? In that documentary on pollution?" "I think tires are much larger than puffer fish," you say. Lettice looks stumped for a moment, then shrugs. "I guess then it's a doll's tire." 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. Mr. Barron Intervenes A friend of your parents tries to intervene. 2. Moodiness Questions of "attitude." 3. The Legend of Public School Mother and Father share anecdotes about what public school used to be like. > Moodiness Moodiness --------- "Your Mother has noticed a great deal of attitude from you lately," says Father, sitting down at the foot of your bed. His presence disorders the piles of flash cards, so that a small heap of medical terms goes sliding off onto the floor. CYANOTIC lands face up. "Do you have an explanation to offer?" 1. You have way too many chores. 2. You want to see more of the world. 3. You're being unreasonable. It's hard on everyone, not having enough money. 4. CYANOTIC means turning blue. > You want to see more of the world. "I never get to go and do anything," you say. "Other kids' families go places. They have field trips to other parts of the country." "I know," says Father. "But we've chosen a different path for our family. We live a life that leaves the smallest possible mark. We earn little and we spend little. We don't consume more resources than we have to. We pay very little tax, so we're not supporting foreign wars. All that's for the good of the world too, you know." Into your silence, he adds, "And we've always said that if you get into the National, we'll see that you can go to the Bee. All the way to Washington, D. C." 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. Was It This Way For the Desert Fathers? The private mystery of letters. 2. Isolation Longing for the opening of the lid. 3. Dinner Service Taking over cooking while Mother is out of town. > Dinner Service Dinner Service -------------- Mother has taken the train to visit your great-aunt near Sacramento. That leaves you and Father and Lettice to fend for yourselves, and it is understood that Father should not be the one to make dinner, because unfortunate things can result. 1. Improvise something with spaghetti. > Improvise something with spaghetti. You've watched Mother do this often enough. The spaghetti sauce is stored frozen, made monthly in a batch, so you only need to reheat it and serve it over the noodles. Cheese is nice when it's available, but the can of parmesan gratings is empty and you haven't been given a budget for additional purchases. It proves a harder thing than you were expecting. First, not all the noodles can be fit into the pot; they're too long, and stick out. Pushing them with the wooden spoon doesn't help, so you have to break most of the noodles to make them fit under water. Then the pot boils over and gets whitish scum on the stove. Mother's spaghetti never does that. Then the pot is very heavy and hot and clumsy, and you half drop it when you're trying to pour the noodles into the sieve. A good third of the noodles fall out into the sink, some of them slithering down the drain. They can't be eaten now, can they? 1. Call for Father. 2. Pour hot water over the noodles to clean them, put them back in the pot, and say nothing. > Call for Father. You summon Father to look at the mess. "It's my fault," you admit. Probably he'll just say that it's your own portion of supper you've wasted, so you can go without. Which is fair, but you're really very hungry. "Hm," says Father, looking into the sink. "Hm," he says again, looking at the goo bubbled over the stove. Then he turns on the garbage disposal. There's a roar, and the ruined noodles slip away into oblivion. "There are some frozen peas," he says. "Put them in the microwave for a couple of minutes and they'll help fill in the cracks." 1. Apologize for wasting food. 2. Just let it go. > Apologize for wasting food. "I didn't mean to waste food," you say. "I'm sorry." "It's not wasted," Father says, pouring glasses of water for you and Lettice. "It was an educational supply that has now been used up." He looks at you over his glasses. "After dinner, get your lab notebook and record your spaghetti experiment. Include all the parameters you can think of that might have affected your results. Later, when Mother makes spaghetti, you can also record her control parameters and then report what went wrong." 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. Was It This Way For the Desert Fathers? The private mystery of letters. 2. Isolation Longing for the opening of the lid. 3. Ash Wednesday Family attends services for the beginning of Lent. > Ash Wednesday Ash Wednesday ------------- It is time for the Lenten sermon. The air smells like incense. The point of the sermon is the same as it always is. We are all sinners. We must find out our worst characteristics, our most serious fallings away, and address these. After the service, Mother and Father have you sit down and write down your lists of things you wish to correct in yourselves during the Lenten season, to make way for the coming of the savior. 1. Think less about the Things of the World. 2. Give the blandest possible answers. You're not that bad. > Think less about the Things of the World. The secular is a distraction, or so you are frequently told. 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. Lent You and the family practice Lenten disciplines. 2. Handwashing Hand-knitted things can't be washed in the machine. 3. Invitation to the Salon In which Mrs. Barron proposes an outing. > Invitation to the Salon Invitation to the Salon ----------------------- Mother gives you and Lettice your haircuts once every two months or so. Your bangs are cut straight across the forehead; the rest of your hair is trimmed "for split ends." Sometimes she braids your hair into twin braids. One of the kids at Sunday school says you look "like that girl from Little House on the Prairie." 1. It's really better not to ask what that means. > It's really better not to ask what that means. When someone might be making fun of you or might not, a dignified silence works best. Usually. 1. D I G N I F I E D. > D I G N I F I E D. After church Mrs. Barron pops up at Mother's side. "I'm going to the salon Tuesday afternoon. I was wondering if I could take the girls with me." Mother looks from Mrs. Barron to you and back again. "Do you need them for something?" she asks. "Oh, just a ladies' afternoon!" Mrs. Barron exclaims. "You are very lucky, my dear, of course, you have your girls around all the time. But my household is nothing but males! I miss having girls around to... oh, you know, talk about *girl stuff*." She gives you a conspiratorial wink. 1. You've never been to a salon. Maybe in a spirit of anthropology you should go. 2. Father would never approve. 3. Wonder what Mother will say. > You've never been to a salon. Maybe in a spirit of anthropology you should go. On a friend's television you recently saw a movie where women at the beauty salon had enormous pink helmet-like machines that came down over their heads. It would be interesting to know whether these machines exist, and, if so, what they are meant to do. Lettice suggested that they were intended to program the women into cyberbots, but the movie did not bear out this theory. You smile at Mother. "Lettice and I could see how the haircutting is done. We'd sit very still." Mrs. Barron looks at you from the corner of her eye, but does not say anything. Mother shrugs. "It doesn't sound like it would be very thrilling for you girls, but if you want to go, I have no objection. Lettice can take her *Peoples of the World* reader and get caught up on social studies." 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. Lent You and the family practice Lenten disciplines. 2. Mirrors We go to the salon with Mrs. Barron. 3. Previously Missed Words Going over words missed in previous national bees. > Previously Missed Words Previously Missed Words ----------------------- In previous years this would have been harder, but these days you can get lists down from the internet. The cards and their definitions paper your walls, like leaves on a tree. 1. NOISETTE 2. CANICULAR 3. Do the whole list right now. > Do the whole list right now. It takes a double study session to get through the entire stack, but you manage to break the words into categories and the categories into subcategories. SHRIEVAL and WICCAN, HOMINY and SUCCOTASH, ECRU and FÊTE. 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. Lent You and the family practice Lenten disciplines. 2. Mirrors We go to the salon with Mrs. Barron. 3. The Legend of Public School Mother and Father share anecdotes about what public school used to be like. > Lent Lent ---- Where does one begin? 1. The discipline of silence. 2. The discipline of Wednesday night Bible study. 3. The discipline of moderation in food. 4. The discipline of fasting on Fridays. [Unavailable] You're too young to fast. > The discipline of silence. Your household exercises the discipline of silence during Lent: no word spoken aloud from dinner until bed time. This means also no audio programs on the computer, no games or television, and no read-alouds; just quietness and contemplation. When Lettice was younger, the Silence bothered her very much. Lettice needs attention. Recently she has taken to rolling out a sheet of butcher paper on the floor, or taping together smaller sheets of paper to make a display as grand as a screen. She sprawls across it and draws dramatic things. It is getting harder to ignore Lettice's drawings. Tonight she's made an image as though you're looking down from the edge of a pit. In the pit are monster arms reaching out to grab the unwary. Mother hops over the pit on the way to the bathroom. She makes a terrified face. Lettice laughs silently. 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. Lent You and the family practice Lenten disciplines. 2. Mirrors We go to the salon with Mrs. Barron. 3. Performance Practice Spelling bees aren't just about spelling. > Performance Practice Performance Practice -------------------- Mother sits at the table with a deck of cards and a bell. Father, Lettice, and the two Perry daughters -- brought over just for the occasion -- sit in the living room in folding chairs. Mrs. Perry has brought over the co-op's digital video camera, and she's recording everything you do. You stand at the front of the room while all of them stare at you. 1. Stand up straight. 2. Speak clearly. 3. Visualize each word written on a page before trying to spell it. > Visualize each word written on a page before trying to spell it. You can picture the shapes of the letters before you read. You get through three of Mother's words, very calm, every easy, before anyone interrupts you. "Don't move your lips while you're thinking," Mrs. Perry advises, from behind the video camera. "It makes your performance less impressive." 1. What does that matter? 2. Then again, maybe it's best to awe the television audience. > Then again, maybe it's best to awe the television audience. "We want you to give the impression of being a very calm, focused, and brilliant young person," Mrs. Perry explains. "So that the main-stream media will have a hard time making fun of your home-schooling background, and will be forced to take you seriously." When you don't immediately answer, she adds, "Don't worry, dear, you have the best chance of anyone I've seen for a while. You could really be an important ambassador for us." 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. Easter Vigil service. 2. Mirrors We go to the salon with Mrs. Barron. 3. Sunday Afternoon Sunday afternoon is traditionally time for playing games. > Easter Easter ------ The service of Easter vigil is a long one, held late at night and into the next morning. Mother and Father fast beforehand, and perhaps when you are older, you will as well. There are a lot of lessons, read by candle-light, and the best part about the service is that you get a candle of your own to hold while you listen. 1. Drill yourself on spelling to keep focused. 2. Be still. 3. Be a bad influence on Lettice, and vice versa. > Drill yourself on spelling to keep focused. With the service this long and the lessons the same every year, it is not easy to pay strict attention. You've devised a solution, which is to test yourself on the spellings of any interesting words as the readers come to them. ISRAELITE provides some passing interest. ZEPHANIAH is really almost a poser, and you keep yourself from glancing at your service leaflet, as a test. ABOMINATION is not difficult, but it has a angry tone to it and a lot of Ms and Ns, which makes it fun to imagine rattling off in front of judges. Unfortunately the lector stumbles and says UNCLEANNESSESSES, and this starts you thinking of other words with that many Es and Ss, such as ESSSSE, the obsolete word for ashes. Lettice jabs you with the corner of her hymnal. "We're *singing* now." 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. A Confrontation About Practice Father has some questions for you. 2. Mirrors We go to the salon with Mrs. Barron. 3. J E R O M E In which Jerome speaks. > A Confrontation About Practice A Confrontation About Practice ------------------------------ Father stands in the doorway of your room. "I wanted to ask you whether you're serious about your spelling this year, or whether we should just skip the Bee and spare ourselves the embarrassment." 1. Pretend not to know what he means. 2. Admit you've been low on motivation lately. 3. Ask where embarrassment comes into it. > Ask where embarrassment comes into it. "I don't see what there is that's embarrassing here," you say. "Either I succeed or I don't succeed. It's nothing to do with the rest of the family." "You know that is not true," Father says. "The family is like a body; what happens to one part happens to all the parts. And your academic achievements reflect on us as homeschooling parents." "So you'd rather I didn't compete if I'm not going to win," you say. "I'd rather you didn't compete if you're not going to honestly *try* to win," Father says. "That's an insult to your competitors and to yourself. Think about it." 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. Mirrors We go to the salon with Mrs. Barron. 2. Exercises in Reading Between the Lines A question of employment. 3. Lettice's Aquarium Encouraging Lettice in a project. > Lettice's Aquarium Lettice's Aquarium ------------------ Lettice has a blue sketchbook that she has been working on for years. On the front are silver letters that she cut out of sticky paper, which spell A Q U A R I U M. The inside of the aquarium is pages and pages of fish, and curious shelled creatures, and things with tentacles. 1. Check out what she's been working on lately. 2. Correct the spelling on the latest page. > Check out what she's been working on lately. Lettice has traced a starfish from a picture in a book. It is wrapped partially around a rock. Next to it there is something roughly wedge-shaped. "What is the wedge-shaped thing?" you ask. "The starfish's other leg," she replies. "It lost that one but then it grew a new one." "Oh." She continues filling in the blue of the water. "Is starfish edible?" Lettice asks. You shrug. "I bet it is," she says. Over the water she draws a sign, like the sign at the front of a ranch. STARFISH LEG FARM, she writes. PICK YOUR OWN. 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. Pentecost The feast of the Holy Spirit at church. 2. Mirrors We go to the salon with Mrs. Barron. 3. The Homeschooling Newsletter Father begins a new project, and other members of the family are invited to help out. > The Homeschooling Newsletter The Homeschooling Newsletter ---------------------------- "Listen to this little tidbit," says Father. And he reads off a limerick about the apostle Paul and the province of Gaul. Mother looks at Father over the top of the sewing machine. "Limericks are an unclean form." Father looks crushed. "What do you think about double dactyls?" 1. Discourage the poetry. 2. Leave it to Mother to field this. > Leave it to Mother to field this. Mother runs another stretch of cloth under the foot of the sewing machine, and its aggressive chunk-a-chunk-a-chunk makes her answer for her. She is putting a brown calico frill at the bottom of a mud-colored day dress, and now is not a good time to interrupt her. "I want this newsletter to stand out," Father explains. "Both for the quality of its content and for its playful appeal." 1. Volunteer to provide some puzzle content. 2. Suggest including some drawings by Lettice. 3. Say they already have plenty of content. > Volunteer to provide some puzzle content. "Perhaps there should be a puzzle or challenge," you suggest. "It would be useful because parents could use it as part of their weekly learning with their students." Father looks at you intently. "*You* should write this challenge," he says. "All right," you say. It will cost you hours of your Saturday every week to construct the challenge, and you will not be remunerated. Whether it does any good to the reputation of the newsletter, you never know. Father goes away, tapping his pen against his lower lip. "Five hundred thirty-two subscribers," he says. "And counting." 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. Mirrors We go to the salon with Mrs. Barron. 2. Clipping Coupons Another common chore. 3. Proofreading Proof work on Father's newsletter. > Clipping Coupons Clipping Coupons ---------------- One of your chores is maintaining the coupons. There are coupon mailers that come with the newspaper, and coupon mailers that just come in the mail on their own, and a few coupons that Mother prints off the internet. Once a week you sit down with a big pair of sharp scissors and cut out all the ones that might be useful to the family. Then you file them by category in a red coupon wallet. The coupon wallet is divided by index cards and has such categories as SOUP, PERSONAL CARE, PRODUCE (there are rarely any produce coupons), PAPER GOODS, and so on. 1. Snip! > Snip! Mother brings in the week's shopping list, and you go through and match it up as well as you can to the coupons you have, so they're all ready-pulled for the store trip. It is sometimes a frustrating process, because the kinds of goods that have coupons are usually not the kinds of goods the family needs. There are never coupons for bulk flour, say, or rice in a fifty-pound bag, or store-generic toilet paper. 1. This is your little contribution to the family finances. 2. Heaven forbid you not have enough chores. > Heaven forbid you not have enough chores. "I don't really think we save that much with the coupons," you tell Lettice heretically. "Maybe a couple of dollars." "That's enough for fast food hamburger!" Lettice says. Yes. Lettice is obsessed this week with fast food hamburgers, which she is not allowed to eat as a rule. "I'm a child laborer for fifteen cents an hour," you grumble, going out. 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. Year-end Competition A first competition with others your own age. > Year-end Competition Year-end Competition -------------------- The year ends with a competition at the local school. You, sitting in the cafeteria with a number. Your mother had to sign you up specially. The other participants are mostly students who go to this school, so they know one another and have jokes together. You sit still and are not as unruly as they are. They trade stickers and say dirty words. The first round you're in, you have to spell 1. FRUCTIFERROUS [Unavailable] If it means fruit-bearing, it should have just one R in ferous, not two. 2. FRUCTIFEROUS 3. FROOCTIFERUS [Unavailable] Double Os would be surprising in a Latinate word like this. 4. FRUKTIFERRUS [Unavailable] You've too much spelling knowledge to get that wrong. Latin wouldn't use a K that way. > FRUCTIFEROUS "FRUCTIFEROUS." Success! The judges nod you on to round two. Mother applauds in the back row, while Lettice sits quietly and continues to draw in her book. The next word that causes you pause is 1. CACOPHONY. 2. KAKOPHONY. [Unavailable] In a Greek word, those kappas would have been converted to Cs. 3. CAKOFUNNY. [Unavailable] That doesn't really look right, does it? 4. CACOUGHANIE. 5. Ask for the origin of the word. > Ask for the origin of the word. "Could I have the language of origin, please?" The pronouncer is a man in a yellow bow tie. He gives you a mostly friendly smile. "The origin is Greek," he says. 1. CACOPHONY. 2. KAKOPHONY. [Unavailable] In a Greek word, those kappas would have been converted to Cs. 3. CAKOFUNNY. [Unavailable] That doesn't really look right, does it? 4. CACOUGHANIE. 5. Ask for the origin of the word. > CACOPHONY. "CACOPHONY." The judge nods and there is polite applause, some of it from your fellow contestants. And then the two other competitors at this level strike out on CIRRHOSIS and ICOSAHEDRON, leaving you in charge of the field. The local competition is yours! 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. Mirrors We go to the salon with Mrs. Barron. 2. Mrs. Barron Commands A little light housework at the Barron household. 3. Seeking Inspiration Looking for something to recharge your will to spell. > Seeking Inspiration Seeking Inspiration ------------------- The piles of cards are becoming unmanageable. You discover you've forgotten half a dozen Spanish loan words you learned last week. The weather outside is more interesting than the dining room table. And it feels like there will never be an end of this. 1. Discuss the Bee with Mother. 2. Ask Lettice for help. > Ask Lettice for help. With a bit of cajoling, Lettice agrees to help you color-code your cards by etymology. She gets out her best pencils and marker sets, and gets to work on the corners of each card, striping the French words blue and white and red. The tip of her tongue sticks out while she works. 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. Mirrors We go to the salon with Mrs. Barron. 2. Mrs. Barron Commands A little light housework at the Barron household. 3. Exercises in Reading Between the Lines A question of employment. > Mirrors Mirrors ------- It is nerve-wracking on Tuesday afternoon, riding with Mrs. Barron to the salon. Lettice has her backpack containing her social studies textbook, and she is clasping it tightly to her front as a shield. You only have a packet of spelling flashcards. You realize after you get in the car that they are the packet from last week and are already completely memorized. So you will be stuck at the salon while Mrs. Barron has her hair fixed and you will not be able to do anything useful at all. 1. Suggest returning home for your flashcards. 2. Wait and hope for the best. > Suggest returning home for your flashcards. You explain the predicament. "And I don't want to be bored while you're having your hair done, Mrs. Barron," you say. "Don't worry," she says, glancing sideways at you. "If you feel like you're starting to get bored, tell me and I'll ask you a spelling question. I know lots." Mrs. Barron can't have learned the whole spelling list by grade level. But it is equally clear that she's not going back, so you settle as comfortably as you can considering that the shoulder strap cuts across you right at the neck. As though sensing your distrust, Mrs. Barron says, "How about *scolionophobia*?" "That's not on the graded list," you say. "Mm. Pity." 1. Fortunately the salon is just ahead. > Fortunately the salon is just ahead. At Mrs. Barron's salon, there is a blonde lady waiting behind a desk when you come in, just like at a restaurant. "Barron appointments for 4:15," says Mrs. Barron. The blonde lady consults her computer. "You and your daughters for Kiley, Manie, and Jolie, correct? Excellent." You and Lettice look at each other in confusion. "We aren't getting our hair cut!" Lettice says. "We're here to read about social studies!" Mrs. Barron says, "Surprise! It's my treat, girls. It won't do any harm." The salon lady gives you and Lettice each a silky little robe, and a room to change into it. 1. You must be expected to take off your shirt before putting on the robe. 2. But that seems immodest. 3. Then again maybe the robe is like a hospital gown. > Then again maybe the robe is like a hospital gown. When you come out, Mrs. Barron is also wearing a silky robe, with no shirt beneath. She is sitting on a leather bench, drinking a cappuccino and reading a glossy magazine about houses. "Mrs. Barron--" She raises a finger to her lips. "Salons are for quiet relaxing," she says. So you and Lettice read Lettice's social studies chapter about the native peoples of New Zealand. A salon lady brings each of you a square of dark chocolate in an individual wrapper, and a tiny bottle of water with bubbles in it. Lettice does not like hers because it's not the sweet kind of soda, so you drink it for her. Then, in whispers, you teach her to pronounce "Maori". You wonder whether Mother will be able to tell you've had your hair cut; but since haircuts usually involve taking off a couple of centimeters, and your hair is so long already, it's possible she won't notice. 1. That would be for the best. > That would be for the best. Manie takes you to a chair, which faces a mirror framed in lights. Mrs. Barron and Lettice each have their own chairs nearby. "We look like we're ready for something a little bit more grown-up!" announces Manie cheerfully, pulling your bangs to one side. "We could give you a little more volume, pump up your eyes a little... here, what do you think about this?" The person looking back at you in the mirror is someone new. She looks... 1. ...worldly. 2. ...like she could be from any family. Not necessarily yours. > ...worldly. Yes. Worldly. Like a soundtrack plays when she walks. She might wear a hat with a brim, and know how to ride in taxis. People might give her flowers. Possibly she even goes on vacation in airplanes. Manie meets your glance cheerfully in the mirror. "No? It's really cute..." 1. Tell Manie to go ahead. 2. Ask her just to trim the ends, the way Mother does. > Tell Manie to go ahead. You nod once. Manie takes you to have your hair shampooed in a deep black sink, and then she snips, and then she blow-dries. She sprays your hair with a mist that smells like watermelons, and another one that smells like strawberries. When she is done, the worldly little woman is back in full force. Manie gives you a second mirror so that you can observe the back of your own head. 1. Wait for Mrs. Barron to be done and pay. > Wait for Mrs. Barron to be done and pay. When it's all over you have to take the silky robe off again and give it back. When you come out, Mrs. Barron is at the counter, tucking something into her wallet. It seems like the salon might be expensive, but you see Mrs. Barron hand Manie a twenty dollar bill. You had been afraid it might be more, but twenty divides by 3 as 6 with a remainder of 2; so it must be $6 for each haircut and then there will be $2 in change? It could be. 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. Reflections Going home with the new haircut. 2. Hawaiian Loan Words A short list but strange. 3. Mrs. Barron Commands A little light housework at the Barron household. > Hawaiian Loan Words Hawaiian Loan Words ------------------- You shuffle through a few cards picked up from a source list online. There aren't too many of these that have made it into English, but you never know. 1. HUMUHUMUNUKUNUKUAPUA'A > HUMUHUMUNUKUNUKUAPUA'A The trick with a word like this is the same as the trick of MISSISSIPPI. If you try to think it through while you're on stage, there's a good risk of getting lost and speaking one consonant too many. What you need to do is just repeat the chant enough times that the spelling is its own performance. "What are you muttering?" Lettice asks. "AITCH YOU EM YOU," you tell her. "That's not nice." 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. Reflections Going home with the new haircut. 2. Jam Your family makes its yearly jam. 3. Afrikaans Loan Words A short list but strange. > Afrikaans Loan Words Afrikaans Loan Words -------------------- You shuffle through a few cards picked up from a source list online. There aren't too many of these that have made it into English, but you never know. 1. ROOIBOS 2. BERGWIND 3. BILTONG 4. SPOOR > SPOOR According to this, they're only tracks, not droppings. Also, the train has spoor. 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. Reflections Going home with the new haircut. 2. That Question A standard conversation. 3. Mrs. Perry Gossips Conversation in the Co-op Library > Reflections Reflections ----------- When you and Lettice come home with your haircuts, Mother looks at you both narrowly, but she says nothing about how you look. "You're late for dinner," she says. To Mrs. Barron, she adds, "I hope they were not too much trouble." "It was a pleasure," Mrs. Barron says. She is positively glowing, whether from the new cut or in a spirit of mischief. "I won't keep you," Mother adds. "I'm sure you're eager to be home and cooking for your family." "Actually," says Mrs. Barron, "I was planning to make the D. H. bring home some Chinese take-away." 1. No wonder Mrs. Barron was not in a hurry. > No wonder Mrs. Barron was not in a hurry. With Mrs. Barron gone, Mother ushers you and Lettice into the house. Father is already seated at the table. He observes the swoop and fluff of the haircut for a long moment. 1. Wait for the lecture on the Things of the World. 2. Then again, he might just make some kind of cutting joke. > Then again, he might just make some kind of cutting joke. You brace yourself. "Your Mother got some brussels sprouts," he says, finally. "They're a little expensive, but since they're your favorites..." Lettice is already serving herself buttered sprouts from the bowl. There are also chicken pieces. Everyone eats in silence. "It is good of you," says Father heavily, near the end of the meal, "to offer your company to Mrs. Barron. I know that going to the salon with her did not appeal to you, but your duty towards a lonely fellow Christian was more important than demonstrating your distance from the Things of the World." 1. Seems that you've gotten away with your new haircut. 2. ...Perhaps it's not as stylish as you hoped, if Father doesn't mind it. > Seems that you've gotten away with your new haircut. In the morning, you can't get your hair to fluff out after your shower as much as it did at the salon. "I think you have to blow dry it," Lettice explains in a whisper. "We don't have a blow-dryer." "Humpf." You pluck at the hair in the mirror. It still looks infinitely cuter than the old flat hair, even if it's not blow-dried. 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. Was It This Way For the Desert Fathers? The private mystery of letters. 2. Isolation Longing for the opening of the lid. 3. Mother and the Haircut Teasing Mother for another salon haircut. > Was It This Way For the Desert Fathers? Was It This Way For the Desert Fathers? --------------------------------------- In the early, filtered light, when you are doing your spelling and no one else is awake, you think things about your spelling words that are half dreams. 1. how solid the sounds are 2. how they are the dust of lost peoples (that you will never meet) 3. no one else would have these thoughts 4. not even mother and father > how solid the sounds are Sometimes a word could be a palace. Sometimes the aspirates could be curtains of thick cloth, the glottals could be walls, the liquids a slippery marble floor. Sometimes the spelling of a word inhabits every sense, not just seen and heard but performed as a choreography of the tongue and the teeth, or tapped in the feet. 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. Was It This Way For the Desert Fathers? The private mystery of letters. 2. Isolation Longing for the opening of the lid. 3. Ironing In which you help with the chores. > Isolation Isolation --------- Lying face-down on the carpet in the study. It is early in the morning. No one else is awake. You are printing off your worksheets for the day. The printer works, and while it works, you can get an extra moment or two of lying down, almost as though you were sleeping in. The carpet is very close to your nose. Like everything. The thought that comes is like a stranger speaking in your head. *If I ever killed myself, it would be from boredom.* 1. Everyone has odd half-asleep thoughts. It's nothing. 2. You'd be less bored if your parents let you out. Ever. 3. If you go to Nationals, you'll get to make a trip cross-country. > Everyone has odd half-asleep thoughts. It's nothing. Like a dream of falling that wakes you in a panic. But the feeling means something, even if it's not a sinful intention to harm yourself. All those words on your lists are like tokens of a life outside, beyond these walls; of a variety and diversity of human life; and you are not allowed to know any of it. For now. You'll get out. Eventually. It has to get better. 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. Consultation Jerome asks an opinion. 2. Contributions to Father's Newsletter You write puzzles and games. 3. Mother and the Haircut Teasing Mother for another salon haircut. > Contributions to Father's Newsletter Contributions to Father's Newsletter ------------------------------------ It's early Saturday morning. Father's decided, recently, that it would be a good idea to go in cycles, and alternate the crossword puzzles and cryptograms and logic puzzles and math stumpers in a predictable cycle. 1. It's getting cold in the mornings again. > It's getting cold in the mornings again. It's not dawn yet. The study is cold, so you are wearing gloves while you sit on the carpeted floor and work out puzzle diagrams for Father's newsletter. You blow on your fingers to make them more limber around the pencil. The cryptogram puzzles are the easiest and least troublesome to construct. You always pick a quotation from a famous author, out of the book of quotations on Father's desk. Shakespeare is usually reliable, as are the Founding Fathers and anything from Proverbs or Ecclesiastes. And you skip any quotes that contain words you're not sure of, and anything from Shakespeare spoken by a servant, since it's more likely to have a rude meaning. Once your quote is selected, you shuffle a deck of alphabet cards and lay them out to determine a truly random order for the substitution cipher; and then copy over the cryptogram in its new cipher. This is so easy to do that you generally do several weeks' worth of cryptograms on a single morning, to save them up for later. 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. It's All Happening At the Zoo Your co-op's yearly trip to the Zoo. 2. German Loan Words Loan words often appear in the final round of nationals. 3. The Legend of Public School Mother and Father share anecdotes about what public school used to be like. > German Loan Words German Loan Words ----------------- The cards are sticky from repeated use and are printed in green ink because that was the only pen of yours that Lettice hadn't "borrowed" when you wrote them out. 1. DRECK, BLITZ, ERSATZ, GESTALT. 2. SCHNAPPS, SCHNITZEL, SCHNAUZER. [Unavailable] You've known those for a while now. 3. GEMÜTLICH. 4. ANSCHLUSS, BLITZKRIEG, FÜHRER. 5. URSPRACHE. A word from the finals. > URSPRACHE. A word from the finals. 2006, this word was in the final round of the National Bee. And what could be more appropriate, more desirable than this idea? URSPRACHE is an original language, the ancestor of other languages, which is no longer spoken but can only be guessed at. A language whose fossils remain embedded in other languages; whose consonants are shell and bone; whose vowels have decayed and been filled by limestone. 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. Halloween Celebrating Halloween in your household. 2. The Legend of Public School Mother and Father share anecdotes about what public school used to be like. 3. Aboriginal Loan Words A short list but strange. > Aboriginal Loan Words Aboriginal Loan Words --------------------- You shuffle through a few cards picked up from a source list online. There aren't too many of these that have made it into English, but you never know. 1. BUNYIP 2. PADEMELON > BUNYIP The bunyip is some kind of imaginary Australian creature. Also called a KIANPRATY, so there's two words for the price of one. It's something that lives in the streams and the waters, a strange devil creature eight paces long, strong enough to kill a man. But deceptive. You don't notice it until it's right up close. 1. You could freak Lettice out with this story. 2. Then again, Lettice might like to draw it. > Then again, Lettice might like to draw it. You show Lettice the bunyip stories. "It's not really a sea creature but supposedly it lives in watery places," you explain. So Lettice gets out the notebook where she draws creatures for her aquarium, and sketches her own bunyip. It has tusks like a walrus and eyes as big as saucers, and a long, crouching body like an alligator's. "That looks exactly right," you tell her. 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. The Legend of Public School Mother and Father share anecdotes about what public school used to be like. 2. Proofreading Proof work on Father's newsletter. 3. Afrikaans Loan Words A short list but strange. > Afrikaans Loan Words Afrikaans Loan Words -------------------- You shuffle through a few cards picked up from a source list online. There aren't too many of these that have made it into English, but you never know. 1. ROOIBOS 2. BERGWIND 3. BILTONG 4. SPOOR > BERGWIND A hot, dry wind from the mountains. Which is not so surprising, considering the meaning of *berg* in other Germanic languages. Still. It's one of those words that says more about the place it came from than anything. Not everyone has a need to name the types of wind that blow over their land. Only when the wind is too fast or too hot or too cold or too dry, or too electric: sirocco, xaloc, mistral. Santa Ana. Khamsin. Chergui. 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. That Other Question A standard conversation. 2. Mother and the Haircut Teasing Mother for another salon haircut. 3. Mrs. Perry Gossips Conversation in the Co-op Library > That Other Question That Other Question ------------------- "Shouldn't the little darlings be in school?" You're on the bus with Lettice and Mother. The speaker is a middle-aged woman in the seat across from yours. She's balancing a grocery bag of cat food on her knees. A can of Ocean Treat With Salmon is peeking out of the plastic. She looks extremely earnest. Through the arm of your coat, you feel Mother flinch. This could go any of a number of ways, depending on her mood of the moment... 1. Wait. > Wait. "They're home-schooled," says Mother. And she explains in the usual way. Yes, it's legal. Yes, the state supervises. Yes, there are set topics that you're supposed to cover at some point during the process. Yes, you have activities that allow you to interact with other members of your peer group. The explanation lasts three quarters of the route to the library. "I just don't think it's right," says the woman anyway. Her cheeks are red and she's rearranging and rearranging the tins in her bag, but she speaks with the same angry courage as the little Jehovah's Witness boy down the street. "Homeschooling takes all the kids whose parents really care out of the system. Shouldn't you have them in public school, and then work with the schools to make them better?" 1. What if the kid were being bullied? 2. Or autistic, and the school wasn't well equipped to handle that? 3. Are you also opposed to private schooling? > Are you also opposed to private schooling? "Are you also opposed to private schooling?" you ask. The woman seems surprised that you're speaking. "Yes," she says. "But at least with private school everyone has theoretical access to the same materials and experiences, if they pay for them." You and Lettice exchange glances. 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. Advent The beginning of Advent. 2. Handwashing Hand-knitted things can't be washed in the machine. 3. German Loan Words Loan words often appear in the final round of nationals. > German Loan Words German Loan Words ----------------- The cards are sticky from repeated use and are printed in green ink because that was the only pen of yours that Lettice hadn't "borrowed" when you wrote them out. 1. DRECK, BLITZ, ERSATZ, GESTALT. 2. SCHNAPPS, SCHNITZEL, SCHNAUZER. [Unavailable] You've known those for a while now. 3. GEMÜTLICH. 4. ANSCHLUSS, BLITZKRIEG, FÜHRER. 5. URSPRACHE. A word from the finals. > GEMÜTLICH. This one means cozy or comfortable or warm. It goes along with all those words for different sorts of cozy food: hamburger and strudel, knockwurst, liverwurst. Father makes liverwurst sandwiches sometimes. The 'wurst is a grey paste that comes out of a plastic tube, the same size and shape as a tube of cookie dough. It smells peculiar, but you and Lettice both like it surprisingly much. Like all the other foods you associate with Germany, it is not pretending anything. It is heavy and straightforward. 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. Handwashing Hand-knitted things can't be washed in the machine. 2. Snow Day How studying happens when there is snow on the ground. 3. J E R O M E In which Jerome speaks. > Handwashing Handwashing ----------- Mother teaches you how to do the handwashing, with a capful of Woolite and cold water. However, the only place to do it is the bathroom sink, and the bathroom sink cannot be left occupied all the time. It's vital to do the washing early in the morning before anyone else is up, so that no one else will be disturbed. The caps and scarves and so on are not so bad. The sweaters, however, are awful. They fill up completely with water, and the rough wool scrapes your fingers when you rub it together to get the dirt out. Lettice's sweaters are inevitably stained in interesting ways, with dirt and fruit punch and the odd marker stroke. And you can't always tell which stains are going to be removable until you've had a go at all of them. While you work you make up stories in your head. 1. About how even Cinderella got away. 2. About how you were switched at birth. 3. About becoming a designer and making more stylish clothes. 4. About becoming so wealthy that you could have servants. > About becoming a designer and making more stylish clothes. You don't have time *now*, of course, with spelling as busy as it is. But perhaps one day when you are too old to be in the bee, you could look into designing clothes. You could draw pictures and patterns for Mother, and they would be much more stylish than what she makes now. She would experience a sudden increase in sales. There would be more spending money around the house. Your designs would be discovered, and you would become famous... The rinse water is getting cold. 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. Was It This Way For the Desert Fathers? The private mystery of letters. 2. Isolation Longing for the opening of the lid. 3. The Legend of Public School Mother and Father share anecdotes about what public school used to be like. > Was It This Way For the Desert Fathers? Was It This Way For the Desert Fathers? --------------------------------------- In the early, filtered light, when you are doing your spelling and no one else is awake, you think things about your spelling words that are half dreams. 1. how solid the sounds are 2. how they are the dust of lost peoples (that you will never meet) 3. no one else would have these thoughts 4. not even mother and father > no one else would have these thoughts No one else would have these thoughts. And if you went to public school, would you even have the time or the inclination for them? Would the ideas join up in your head in all these jumping, unpredictable ways? A word from biology here, a bit of Greek history there, fizzing all the time like a shaken Coke? Or would you sit squeezed in a too-small desk in a classroom, learning lessons from which all mystery had been excised? 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. German Loan Words Loan words often appear in the final round of nationals. 2. Church Jumble Sale Helping sort goods for the annual fundraiser. 3. Consultation Jerome asks an opinion. > German Loan Words German Loan Words ----------------- The cards are sticky from repeated use and are printed in green ink because that was the only pen of yours that Lettice hadn't "borrowed" when you wrote them out. 1. DRECK, BLITZ, ERSATZ, GESTALT. 2. SCHNAPPS, SCHNITZEL, SCHNAUZER. [Unavailable] You've known those for a while now. 3. GEMÜTLICH. 4. ANSCHLUSS, BLITZKRIEG, FÜHRER. 5. URSPRACHE. A word from the finals. > URSPRACHE. A word from the finals. 2006, this word was in the final round of the National Bee. And what could be more appropriate, more desirable than this idea? URSPRACHE is an original language, the ancestor of other languages, which is no longer spoken but can only be guessed at. A language whose fossils remain embedded in other languages; whose consonants are shell and bone; whose vowels have decayed and been filled by limestone. 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. A Call to Arms Taking action with the legislature. 2. Ironing In which you help with the chores. 3. Italian Loan Words Food, opera, music, and various other furbelows. > Italian Loan Words Italian Loan Words ------------------ You take the cards edged in red and green out of their box and sort through for ones you're still having trouble with. 1. HARPSICHORD and PICCOLO. 2. LINGUINE, FARFALLE. 3. INTAGLIO. 4. FANTOCCINI. > HARPSICHORD and PICCOLO. You go through all the things in the orchestra that apply, from the little flutes to the stringed instruments. Violas and andantes shuffle together with the names of pastas. 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. Ash Wednesday Family attends services for the beginning of Lent. 2. Italian Loan Words Food, opera, music, and various other furbelows. 3. Snow Day How studying happens when there is snow on the ground. > Italian Loan Words Italian Loan Words ------------------ You take the cards edged in red and green out of their box and sort through for ones you're still having trouble with. 1. HARPSICHORD and PICCOLO. 2. LINGUINE, FARFALLE. 3. INTAGLIO. 4. FANTOCCINI. > LINGUINE, FARFALLE. And FAGOTTINI and SACCHETTONI, CAPELLINI, CANNELLONI. You've mostly got the ini-oni business. But it's hard to predict when the letters are going to double or not double, until you've just seen enough of these things that you get a sense about them. 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. Lent You and the family practice Lenten disciplines. 2. French Art Words With lots of overlap with the Latin derivatives lists. 3. Arabic Loan Words Dominated by the letters AL- > French Art Words French Art Words ---------------- The influence of French on English is so enormous that most of the words don't feel foreign. And then there are many words that you can throw out because you've already got them on the Latin derivatives list. 1. COLLAGE > COLLAGE The long runs of vowels and the sometimes-almost-silent Ls are a trick, but consistent enough when you have learned them. 1. Of course, you've run into collages before, in Sunday school. 2. Tell Lettice about the concept of collage. > Tell Lettice about the concept of collage. She gets the idea without very much explanation, and gets as far as cutting up two back copies of *The Old Schoolhouse* before Mother confiscates the scissors. "You might ask," Mother says tartly. "There was an article on humility I wanted to save." Lettice pouts. 1. Give Lettice some big-sisterly advice. 2. Offer to let her cut up some of the discarded coupon flyers the next time you clip coupons. > Give Lettice some big-sisterly advice. "Yes, it's best not to cut up other people's magazines," you tell Lettice. "It's not recycling until it's in the recycling bin." Lettice scowls at you. "It *was* in the recycling bin! Mom just must have forgotten she put it in there." She stomps off to her room and slams the door. "Father must have thrown it away," Mother says, a curious expression on her face. "But I did tell him I had an article I wanted to read aloud to him, so..." And she goes off, looking puzzled, with one of Lettice's cut-out magazine children adhering to the heel of her shoe. 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. Lent You and the family practice Lenten disciplines. 2. Exercises in Reading Between the Lines A question of employment. 3. Greek Root Studies Studying your Greek roots. > Greek Root Studies Greek Root Studies ------------------ In a faded brown pen on a pile of old note cards, you copy out root forms from your etymological list. 1. CERAT-, DERM-. 2. RHIG-, RHIN-, RHIZ-. 3. What curious lettering they used. > RHIG-, RHIN-, RHIZ-. Rhig for chill or cold, rhin for nose as in rhinoplasty and rhinocerous. Rhiz for roots, as in rhizome from biology. But how does one really pronounce an R with an h sound in it? RR Hinocerous? What were they up to, inventing these letters? 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. Lent You and the family practice Lenten disciplines. 2. Proofreading Proof work on Father's newsletter. 3. Exercises in Reading Between the Lines A question of employment. > Lent Lent ---- Where does one begin? 1. The discipline of Wednesday night Bible study. 2. The discipline of moderation in food. 3. The discipline of fasting on Fridays. [Unavailable] You're too young to fast. > The discipline of moderation in food. During Lent, the family goes off sweets and meat. "Good for the budget as well as the soul," Mother likes to say. Instead there are a variety of other meals that, perversely, you quite like. There is pea soup, and not the nasty kind with ham, but smooth pea soup with no fatty bits in it. There is rice served with red beans over. There is brown bread, which comes out of a can. There is lentil porridge and oatmeal. There are cheese sandwiches and cheese cauliflower and breaded cheese sticks. The food in Lent sticks to the insides and makes you feel well-anchored, like a ship safely at harbor. 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. Easter Vigil service. 2. Greek Root Studies Studying your Greek roots. 3. That Question A standard conversation. > Greek Root Studies Greek Root Studies ------------------ In a faded brown pen on a pile of old note cards, you copy out root forms from your etymological list. 1. CERAT-, DERM-. 2. RHIG-, RHIN-, RHIZ-. 3. What curious lettering they used. > RHIG-, RHIN-, RHIZ-. Rhig for chill or cold, rhin for nose as in rhinoplasty and rhinocerous. Rhiz for roots, as in rhizome from biology. But how does one really pronounce an R with an h sound in it? RR Hinocerous? What were they up to, inventing these letters? 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. Zulu Loan Words A short list but strange. 2. Sunday Afternoon Sunday afternoon is traditionally time for playing games. 3. That Question A standard conversation. > Zulu Loan Words Zulu Loan Words --------------- You shuffle through a few cards picked up from a source list online. There aren't too many of these that have made it into English, but you never know. 1. IMPALA 2. INDABA 3. MBAQANGA > IMPALA *impala, a medium-sized African antelope.* Or, of course, a sort of car. But that would be the wrong association to have, so you Google image search a range of animal impalas until you have that notion firmly into your head. "You have safe search on, I trust," says Mother, looking over your shoulder. Yes. Always. Though if there are unsafe images of impalas out there in the world, you doubt they would tempt you to lustful thoughts. 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. Pentecost The feast of the Holy Spirit at church. 2. At the Copy Shop Father's newsletter runs into certain inconveniences. 3. The Legend of Public School Mother and Father share anecdotes about what public school used to be like. > Pentecost Pentecost --------- Pentecost is celebrated in church with bagpipe musicians, and acolytes carrying gold and orange streamers, and people who read the Bible lesson aloud in tongues, which is to say all the languages that they happen to know. Ms. Chang reads in Mandarin, and Mr. Harrison in German because he did a college year in Germany; and the pastor in Ancient Greek, and Mother in Latin. And you hear words of your own, and think of... 1. FLAMBEAUX. 2. CRUCIBLE. 3. IGNIS FATUUS. > IGNIS FATUUS. *ignis fatuus, a light seen floating over the marshes; a delusion* Mrs. Perry's public prayers. The shiniest car in the parking lot. The shine on a trophy. All gleam without heat. Pentecost is the most beautiful and frightening of services because it makes a fire of God, and fire is unpredictable, joyful and destructive. 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. Aboriginal Loan Words A short list but strange. 2. Contributions to Father's Newsletter You write puzzles and games. 3. Mother and the Haircut Teasing Mother for another salon haircut. > Aboriginal Loan Words Aboriginal Loan Words --------------------- You shuffle through a few cards picked up from a source list online. There aren't too many of these that have made it into English, but you never know. 1. BUNYIP 2. PADEMELON > BUNYIP The bunyip is some kind of imaginary Australian creature. Also called a KIANPRATY, so there's two words for the price of one. It's something that lives in the streams and the waters, a strange devil creature eight paces long, strong enough to kill a man. But deceptive. You don't notice it until it's right up close. 1. You could freak Lettice out with this story. 2. Then again, Lettice might like to draw it. > Then again, Lettice might like to draw it. You show Lettice the bunyip stories. "It's not really a sea creature but supposedly it lives in watery places," you explain. So Lettice gets out the notebook where she draws creatures for her aquarium, and sketches her own bunyip. It has tusks like a walrus and eyes as big as saucers, and a long, crouching body like an alligator's. "That looks exactly right," you tell her. 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. Year-end Competition A possibly district-level testing of your mettle. (Note: not METAL.) > Year-end Competition Year-end Competition -------------------- It's time for the competition again. Mother packs up her sewing necessities. Lettice fills her backpack with art supplies and a couple of textbook readings. Father cooks bacon for breakfast and kisses you goodbye. 1. Let's go. > Let's go. The local competition feels much easier than it was last year. Either that, or you're just more familiar with the routine and the location and the stale hot dog smell in the school cafeteria. In any case, hardly anyone poses a serious challenge for you. The district competition is decidedly more business-like. The pronouncer is a woman with narrow white-ish lips and the beginning of a mustache. She is probably self-conscious about the mustache, so you try not to notice it too much. 1. VACKERO. [Unavailable] That doesn't really look right, does it? 2. VACQUEREAU. 3. VACCERO. 4. VAQUERO. 5. Request the language of origin. > Request the language of origin. When you ask for the language of origin, the pronouncer says, "The word is Spanish," in a tone that is not exactly encouraging. 1. VACKERO. [Unavailable] That doesn't really look right, does it? 2. VACQUEREAU. [Unavailable] It would only be spelled that way if it were French. 3. VACCERO. [Unavailable] At a guess, the double C might be more Italian? Probably? 4. VAQUERO. 5. Request the language of origin. > VAQUERO. "VAQUERO." This turns out to be the right answer; the winning answer. Mother takes you home in glory. There is home-made cake, and a trophy of a little boy holding a dictionary. Lettice draws you a picture of a cowboy, though only after she has looked up "vaquero" online. 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. Contributions to Father's Newsletter You write puzzles and games. 2. Exercises in Reading Between the Lines A question of employment. 3. Consultation Jerome asks an opinion. > Exercises in Reading Between the Lines Exercises in Reading Between the Lines -------------------------------------- A conversation, overheard: "...wondering about Sara. I've noticed that she..." Something in lowered voices. "...not what I would want influencing our daughter." Father's voice: "Are you sure? Wouldn't want to fire her if it's a misunderstanding." "I can hardly ask her straight out, can I?" Mother asks. But you can. If you can figure out what to ask her about. Perhaps at the beginning of a lesson, but after Mother has left the room. 1. Is she feminist? 2. Is she atheist? > Is she feminist? "Are you a feminist?" Sara doesn't seem particularly mean to children or anti-man, for that matter. So it is a little surprising when she says, "Well, of course." 1. Promise not to tell the parents. > Promise not to tell the parents. "I won't tell Mother," you say. "I promise. I think you shouldn't tell her either." The corners of Sara's mouth turn down. "What do you think a feminist is?" "Someone who thinks women shouldn't be allowed to be mothers and stay home with their families?" you say. You've also heard the phrase "ball-busting" in this connection, but you're pretty sure the term has testicular significance and that children shouldn't use it. "That's not what it means, and anyone who attacks feminists on those grounds is using a straw man argument." 1. Ah, rhetorical terms. Now you're on familiar ground. > Ah, rhetorical terms. Now you're on familiar ground. Sara talks and talks, but the important thing seems to be that, whatever Mother and Father were concerned about, she isn't a feminist in that bad way. 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. Jam Your family makes its yearly jam. 2. That Other Question A standard conversation. 3. Mrs. Barron Commands A little light housework at the Barron household. > That Other Question That Other Question ------------------- "Shouldn't the little darlings be in school?" You're on the bus with Lettice and Mother. The speaker is a middle-aged woman in the seat across from yours. She's balancing a grocery bag of cat food on her knees. A can of Ocean Treat With Salmon is peeking out of the plastic. She looks extremely earnest. Through the arm of your coat, you feel Mother flinch. This could go any of a number of ways, depending on her mood of the moment... 1. Wait. > Wait. "They're home-schooled," says Mother. And she explains in the usual way. Yes, it's legal. Yes, the state supervises. Yes, there are set topics that you're supposed to cover at some point during the process. Yes, you have activities that allow you to interact with other members of your peer group. The explanation lasts three quarters of the route to the library. "I just don't think it's right," says the woman anyway. Her cheeks are red and she's rearranging and rearranging the tins in her bag, but she speaks with the same angry courage as the little Jehovah's Witness boy down the street. "Homeschooling takes all the kids whose parents really care out of the system. Shouldn't you have them in public school, and then work with the schools to make them better?" 1. What if the kid were being bullied? 2. Or autistic, and the school wasn't well equipped to handle that? 3. Are you also opposed to private schooling? > What if the kid were being bullied? "What if the kid were being bullied in school?" you say. You know a kid at the co-op who home-schools because one of his classmates broke his arm on the playground. "What if the teachers couldn't stop it?" The woman looks redder. "Doesn't that just give up on the other children whose parents can't take them out?" 1. Let Mother answer. > Let Mother answer. "We pay taxes," Mother says. "We decrease the load on the public schools. We actively lobby our congresspeople for better educational provisions. Our home-schooling co-op provides classes that are open to anyone, including classes in crafting, music, and programming that are scheduled at a time when public school students can attend. What do *you* do to improve public education?" The woman embraces her bag of cans more tightly. "Animal charities are more my thing," she says. 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. J E R O M E In which Jerome speaks. 2. Additional Performance Practice Spelling bees aren't just about spelling. 3. Worldly Cinema Comparing movie notes with Jerome. > Additional Performance Practice Additional Performance Practice ------------------------------- Practice has become more serious, the closer you get to a large event. "Is that what you're going to be wearing?" Mrs. Perry asks. 1. What does that matter? 2. Admittedly, the home-spun look might not go over well. > Admittedly, the home-spun look might not go over well. You look down at your clothing. It looks like it was made by your mother, because it was. "Everyone wears the same thing at the televised Bee," Mother explains. "Good," says Mrs. Perry. "Though we could have taken up a collection." 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. Worldly Cinema Comparing movie notes with Jerome. 2. Contributions to Father's Newsletter You write puzzles and games. 3. Lawn Mowing Time to mow. > Worldly Cinema Worldly Cinema -------------- "What movies do you like?" asks Jerome, around a mouthful of donut. Church has just let out. The adults are conversing. "I don't know," you say. Because you aren't allowed to watch many movies at home unless they are documentaries or spiritually inspiring, and it seems likely that Jerome will make fun of whatever you say. "Come on, you have to like something," he says. "Name me something you watched recently." 1. The one about North Korea. 2. The one with the talking vegetables. 3. Bambi. > The one with the talking vegetables. "I -- there was a movie with talking vegetables," you say. "Sure," says Jerome. "Veggie Tales? Where, like, the carrot tells you to be a better person?" "No," you say. "It was an educational film about where our food comes from. There was a genetically modified tomato that was the villain. It glowed in the dark." "That's cool. I wish my tomatoes would glow in the dark. Ketchup, too. That way if it was dark and you were eating a hamburger you could still see where it was." Jerome looks thoughtful. "We grow vegetables in the back garden. I wonder if we could make them bioluminescent." 1. Boys who say "bioluminescent" are automatically cuter. 2. Or else showing off. > Boys who say "bioluminescent" are automatically cuter. "I like that word," you volunteer. Jerome looks at you funny, then says: "Oh, yeah. The spelling fetish." 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. Choosing the Year's Curriculum A session with Mother and the chart. 2. Consultation Jerome asks an opinion. 3. Birthday Candles A birthday party for one of the girls in the co-op. > Choosing the Year's Curriculum Choosing the Year's Curriculum ------------------------------ At the end of summer every year, Mother gets out a big block of graph paper and plans what you and Lettice are going to study for the year to come. You are allowed to make suggestions. 1. Consider possible textbooks. 2. Schedule more drill time. > Schedule more drill time. You and Mother draw blocks on the graph paper and shade them in to represent how much time each day you should be spending on each subject. It's a rough estimate, and in practice you're allowed to do your day's work in any order; but the graph paper helps keep you from overplanning. "I'll need more drill time than last year," you remind Mother. So she somberly shades in another quarter-inch box each day. 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. At the Bookstore A moment alone. 2. Mrs. Perry Gossips Conversation in the Co-op Library 3. Lessons for Lettice Mother asks you to take on some new responsibilities in educating Lettice. > Lessons for Lettice Lessons for Lettice ------------------- When you are old enough, Mother asks you to take over Lettice's lessons in reading and spelling. You are certainly qualified (she says with a tiny smile) and it will bring the two of you closer together as sisters. It is not clear that Lettice feels the same way. She sits sideways in her chair and crosses her arms at you. She kicks the chair leg. Once she licks your arm for no reason at all. "And how are my two champion spellers getting along?" Mother asks over breakfast. 1. Lettice is very ill-behaved. 2. It's not Lettice's fault. Your parents should be the ones dealing with her. 3. Everything is fine. Mother has enough to worry about. > Everything is fine. Mother has enough to worry about. "Everything is going very well," you say. Mother's face smoothes out from the anxious waiting expression it was holding. "Oh, I'm so glad," she says. Then she makes a check mark on a piece of note paper. "That's something successfully delegated," she adds, in a lower voice. 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. It's All Happening At the Zoo Your co-op's yearly trip to the Zoo. 2. Mrs. Perry Gossips Conversation in the Co-op Library 3. At the Bookstore A moment alone. > It's All Happening At the Zoo It's All Happening At the Zoo ----------------------------- "Well," says Mother brightly, "you and Lettice will have to manage without me, because I am completely swamped with orders this year." She's been selling children's shirts online to supplement her income, and her sewing desk is covered with brightly colored fabrics. So it's up to you to carpool with other families and find proper chaperonage. 1. Go to the South American exhibit with the Perry family. 2. Accompany Mrs. Barron and the Barron boys to see the lions. 3. Take a drawing expedition with Lettice. 4. Wander solo and see the tortoises. > Take a drawing expedition with Lettice. Seeing the zoo with Lettice is a curiously relaxing experience. She is interested in biology chiefly as a component of anatomical drawing, and she takes a great interest in the plaques that show animal skeletons and other similar details. She sketches the baby elephant repeatedly, from a bench under a tree, while all sorts of other zoo visitors come and go. Sometimes she draws no more than the curve of its trunk as it explores picking something up. Sometimes it's the flap of the ears. By the end of the day she has her sketchbook completely full of meditations on the concept of elephant youth. "I don't think it's been a very educational day for you," she remarks, as she tucks away her pencils. "I don't know what you're going to tell Mother when she asks." 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. Halloween Celebrating Halloween in your household. 2. Aboriginal Loan Words A short list but strange. 3. Lettice's Aquarium Encouraging Lettice in a project. > Aboriginal Loan Words Aboriginal Loan Words --------------------- You shuffle through a few cards picked up from a source list online. There aren't too many of these that have made it into English, but you never know. 1. BUNYIP 2. PADEMELON > PADEMELON The pademelon is like a kangaroo, only on a smaller scale. The online pictures make it look like a pouch-wearing jackrabbit. 1. It would be nice if people also came with pouches. 2. Or just creepy. > It would be nice if people also came with pouches. No one would ever need a backpack or a purse. You could just tuck something in at the stomach and go. And besides that, if anyone suggested you were getting fat, you could just say you had a lot to carry that day. 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. Proofreading Proof work on Father's newsletter. 2. Clipping Coupons Another common chore. 3. French Art Words With lots of overlap with the Latin derivatives lists. > French Art Words French Art Words ---------------- The influence of French on English is so enormous that most of the words don't feel foreign. And then there are many words that you can throw out because you've already got them on the Latin derivatives list. 1. GOUACHE > GOUACHE 1. Tell Lettice about the concept of gouache. 2. Don't. The results could be messy. > Tell Lettice about the concept of gouache. You tell Lettice about gouache. The results of the discovery are not entirely happy. Mother finds her crouching in the bathtub, crushing pieces of white chalk with a rock and mixing the powder with watercolors. "Are you making a mess?" Mother asks. "In the bathtub!" Lettice says. "It's not going anywhere!" Mother is in a good mood. She shrugs and takes the chalk away. "Don't break any more of these, but you might as well use the... what is that gunk? You might as well use it now you've made it. But when you're done, wash the tub out. Thoroughly! Okay?" So Lettice does two smeary, chalky pictures of starfish and pins them to a clothesline to dry. "It's thicker than watercolors but still not very good," she says. "I need to get oils." 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. Contributions to Father's Newsletter You write puzzles and games. 2. At the Copy Shop Father's newsletter runs into certain inconveniences. 3. Return to the House of Mildew Visiting Jerome and Flauberta's family again. > Return to the House of Mildew Return to the House of Mildew ----------------------------- Your next visit to Jerome and Flauberta's house isn't much like your first. Your parents aren't along, just you, at Flauberta's invitation. They have hamburgers for dinner, and tater tots that they heat up in the oven and that came in a bag. Flauberta's father wears a hat indoors. There are no read-alouds from the encyclopedia and no flute demonstrations. 1. If they eat normally now, what was up with the garlic soup before? 2. And what about the mildew smell? > If they eat normally now, what was up with the garlic soup before? You take Flauberta aside and ask about the garlic soup from your first visit. "Oh," she says, looking sheepish. "Well -- my parents were pretty nervous to have your parents over. Your family has a big reputation around the Co-op." You do? "For, you know, growing all your own food and sewing all your own clothes and everything. Mom thought your mother wasn't going to be very impressed with us." "But *garlic soup*?" you ask. Flauberta shrugs, then grins. "Dad farted for three days after that," she says. "So trust me they aren't making it again." 1. Reassure them that your family doesn't keep score like that. 2. Ask them about what else they've heard around the Co-op. > Ask them about what else they've heard around the Co-op. "What else have you heard about other families?" you ask. "Oh, you know. Mrs. Barron might not be quite well, Mrs. Perry is worried about the next election being thrown if the election machines are demonically possessed. You guys probably hear the same stuff," Flauberta says. "Um... speaking of which, what do they say about us?" 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. Advent The beginning of Advent. 2. Mother and the Haircut Teasing Mother for another salon haircut. 3. Mrs. Perry Gossips Conversation in the Co-op Library > Mrs. Perry Gossips Mrs. Perry Gossips ------------------ You and Lettice are at the Co-op library, changing out your books. Mrs. Perry is doing a volunteer stint today as the librarian, and is on the phone when you come in; and as she is not very quiet, you are able to overhear her talking. "What I *heard*," she says into the phone, "is that William Barron was shopping around for a *private school*. It sounds as though we might be about to lose them." 1. Wait out the silence. > Wait out the silence. Lettice pulls a book entitled *Magic Tricks: Cups and Balls* off the shelf. "...of course I don't care at all about their Co-op fees. It's those poor children I'm worried about," Mrs. Perry says to the person on the other end of the line. Lettice leafs through *Cups and Balls*, frowning at the line-drawings of an androgynous hand concealing a red marble between its third and fourth fingers. "Well, no," Mrs. Perry concedes to the person on the other end of the line. "But if the marriage is on the verge... no, certainly. Well, keep the Barrons in your prayers. Yes. God bless." She hangs up. 1. Warn Lettice not to check out Cups and Balls, as Mrs. Perry might not approve. 2. Then again, who cares what she thinks? > Then again, who cares what she thinks? Mrs. Perry raises her eyebrows at the sight of Lettice's selection. "These are just tricks, which is why we're allowed to have it in the library," she says. "But please remember that real magic is the work of the devil, and is performed by calling on demons to intervene on our behalf. And you do not want the help of demons." "No, ma'am," Lettice says solemnly. You consider asking Mrs. Perry what sort of demon she thinks would be interested in helping to hide rubber balls under cups, and whether they're perhaps very junior demons who haven't learned to do anything impressive yet. 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. Advent The beginning of Advent. 2. Contributions to Father's Newsletter You write puzzles and games. 3. Handwashing Hand-knitted things can't be washed in the machine. > Advent Advent ------ Advent begins with a wreath, and four candles in it. Purple candles for the first two Sundays, a pink candle in honor of the virgin Mary for the third Sunday, a purple candle again for the last Sunday before Christmas. In addition, there is a cradle for the baby Jesus into which Mother puts a straw every time you do a good deed. 1. Set out the Nativity pieces. 2. Open a door of the Advent calendar. > Set out the Nativity pieces. The Nativity set is laid out at the beginning of the month, though the Christ child remains wrapped up in cotton until the night of the 24th. As for the three wise men and their camel, they start their journey on a bookshelf on the far side of the room from the stable, and are advanced day by day, not to reach their destination until the Feast of the Epiphany on January 6. So much is set down by tradition. But there are other artistic decisions to make. Does the angel go on the roof of the stable, or down on the ground with the humans? Since no nativity star comes in the set, should this be made of silver or gold paper? Stuck to the wall above the scene or hung from a thread? 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. That Question A standard conversation. 2. French Art Words With lots of overlap with the Latin derivatives lists. 3. Mrs. Barron Commands A little light housework at the Barron household. > French Art Words French Art Words ---------------- The influence of French on English is so enormous that most of the words don't feel foreign. And then there are many words that you can throw out because you've already got them on the Latin derivatives list. 1. GRISAILLE > GRISAILLE 1. Tell Lettice about the concept of grisaille. 2. Don't. The results could be messy. > Tell Lettice about the concept of grisaille. You show Lettice the pictures of grey-toned paintings, so still and colorless they look like statues. She studies them closely, frowning. Three days later on your pillow there is a picture all in different shades of pencil grey. It shows you, sitting and reading your spelling cards, as though you'd been carved in that position. 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. Snow Shoveling Cleaning up the walkway. 2. Arabic Loan Words Dominated by the letters AL- 3. Consultation Jerome asks an opinion. > Arabic Loan Words Arabic Loan Words ----------------- The surprising thing about this stack of words is how familiar most of them are. You discard quite a few cards from the collection without needing any drill time at all, words like ALGEBRA and ZERO, TUNA and JAR. 1. ALCOHOL, ELIXIR, ALEMBIC. 2. ATTAR, JASMINE, AMBERGRIS. 3. CARMINE, DAMASK, LAZURITE. 4. GERBIL, JERBOA, GUNDI and JIRD. 5. MONSOON, TYPHOON, HABOOB. > ALCOHOL, ELIXIR, ALEMBIC. Alcohol used to mean a kind of very refined powder, it turns out, and then the word was used for any kind of refined thing; and then only for the "essence of wine." The other words, too, make you think of a mad sorcerer's cave, a place of sinister experimental magic. In the dictionary and on the internet, there are pictures of twisted glass tubes, bulbous vials, potions of every color. 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. Proofreading Proof work on Father's newsletter. 2. Arabic Loan Words Dominated by the letters AL- 3. Contributions to Father's Newsletter You write puzzles and games. > Arabic Loan Words Arabic Loan Words ----------------- The surprising thing about this stack of words is how familiar most of them are. You discard quite a few cards from the collection without needing any drill time at all, words like ALGEBRA and ZERO, TUNA and JAR. 1. ALCOHOL, ELIXIR, ALEMBIC. 2. ATTAR, JASMINE, AMBERGRIS. 3. CARMINE, DAMASK, LAZURITE. 4. GERBIL, JERBOA, GUNDI and JIRD. 5. MONSOON, TYPHOON, HABOOB. > ATTAR, JASMINE, AMBERGRIS. All these words for scents and scented things. The research you do online leads you to alarming discoveries, about how the butts of civets must be scraped periodically to produce civet oil, and how ambergris is found floating in big grey lumps on the surface of the Indian Ocean; and how musk comes from musk deer, and castoreum from the anal glands of beavers. 1. It's enough to put anyone off worldly cosmetics. 2. Perfuming sounds like a very interesting occupation. 3. Jerome would appreciate this information. 4. Maybe Sara will have more thoughts about whether this is good or bad. > Maybe Sara will have more thoughts about whether this is good or bad. You ask Sara about animals being used for perfume ingredients. "Hmm," she says, sitting back in the armchair and putting her hands inside the sleeves of her sweater. "Do you think it's wrong to use animal leather for making shoes? Or to eat honey?" "Of course not." "Then I don't see what difference it makes to you if people use animal secretions for perfume," she says. "It's still using animals for human purposes, adornment and so on." 1. It just seems... ickier. > It just seems... ickier. "It just seems ickier," you say, though conscious that ICKIER is not an officially recognized word. "Because the animal's BUTT is involved." She smiles. "Do you like ham?" "Sure," you say. "Let me show you a diagram of how pigs are butchered." Afterward, Mother is annoyed with Sara for weeks, for "somehow putting the girls off ham." 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. Proofreading Proof work on Father's newsletter. 2. Mrs. Barron Commands A little light housework at the Barron household. 3. At the Bookstore A moment alone. > At the Bookstore At the Bookstore ---------------- It's a quiet afternoon and you have a rare and precious sort of privacy. You are at Rainbow Books. Alone. No one to supervise you; no one to tell you which books you ought to prefer. You're browsing half-guiltily through a selection of science fiction young adult books: ones with alien romance and secular interplanetary governance and all kinds of things of which your father would not approve. On the cover of this book is an attractive young man with black hair and unnatural lavender skin. "You can always tell," says a customer voice from the front of the store. "What's that?" asks the clerk. "Those home-schooled kids," says the customer voice. "Social rejects. You can always tell when you meet them." 1. Show them. Win your Bee and prove the value of your kind of upbringing. 2. Then again maybe you are obvious...? 3. Keep listening. > Keep listening. "I haven't noticed that," says the clerk tactfully. "My sister-in-law is home-schooling her son and let me tell you, whoa is that one little weirdo," the customer goes on. "He never looks you in the face when he talks to you. He keeps a big tank of tropical fish and he likes them more than people." 1. There's a kid at Co-op like that. > There's a kid at Co-op like that. There's a kid at Co-op like that. His mother took him out of school because he got scared in the classroom and would scream at the other kids. He's doing better now. But it's not like being at home *made* him that way. And he's a good guy, really, if you can take him at his own rate. The bell rings at the front of the store and the customer is gone. 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. Ash Wednesday Family attends services for the beginning of Lent. 2. Contributions to Father's Newsletter You write puzzles and games. 3. Proofreading Proof work on Father's newsletter. > Ash Wednesday Ash Wednesday ------------- It is time for the Lenten sermon. The air smells like incense. The point of the sermon is the same as it always is. We are all sinners. We must find out our worst characteristics, our most serious fallings away, and address these. After the service, Mother and Father have you sit down and write down your lists of things you wish to correct in yourselves during the Lenten season, to make way for the coming of the savior. 1. Worry less about position at the Co-op and the opinions of Mrs Perry. 2. Give the blandest possible answers. You're not that bad. > Worry less about position at the Co-op and the opinions of Mrs Perry. This is not a topic on which Mother and Father necessarily lead by example. Nonetheless, you have a suspicion there's something in it. 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. Lent You and the family practice Lenten disciplines. 2. Clipping Coupons Another common chore. 3. Ironing In which you help with the chores. > Lent Lent ---- Where does one begin? 1. The discipline of Wednesday night Bible study. 2. The discipline of moderation in food. 3. The discipline of fasting on Fridays. > The discipline of Wednesday night Bible study. Every Wednesday night during Lent, there is adult Bible study at church. Most of the other children play in the nursery, if they attend this session at all. The lucky little Barrons stay home with a baby-sitter. Father insists that you are adult enough to understand the adult Bible study, and therefore you will attend it; though you will sit in the back and not say anything. You are allowed a notepad for recording your thoughts, however, so that you can share these thoughts with Father privately after study. Mostly you do not have any of the kinds of thoughts that Father would like to discuss with you. Instead you use the notepad for writing down things you observe about the adults. Mr Harrison has a single black curly hair that grows out of the end of his nose. Why doesn't he pluck it out? Is that what it means to be *an hairy man*? 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. Lent You and the family practice Lenten disciplines. 2. Arabic Loan Words Dominated by the letters AL- 3. Italian Loan Words Food, opera, music, and various other furbelows. > Italian Loan Words Italian Loan Words ------------------ You take the cards edged in red and green out of their box and sort through for ones you're still having trouble with. 1. HARPSICHORD and PICCOLO. 2. LINGUINE, FARFALLE. 3. INTAGLIO. 4. FANTOCCINI. > INTAGLIO. *intaglio, a family of print-making techniques involving cutting or incising images in a flat surface* This one, for some reason, is slippery, and you always find yourself picturing a cameo instead. 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. Lent You and the family practice Lenten disciplines. 2. Performance Practice Spelling bees aren't just about spelling. 3. Mrs. Barron Commands A little light housework at the Barron household. > Performance Practice Performance Practice -------------------- Mother sits at the table with a deck of cards and a bell. Father, Lettice, and the two Perry daughters -- brought over just for the occasion -- sit in the living room in folding chairs. Mrs. Perry has brought over the co-op's digital video camera, and she's recording everything you do. You stand at the front of the room while all of them stare at you. 1. Stand up straight. 2. Speak clearly. 3. Visualize each word written on a page before trying to spell it. > Speak clearly. You avoid any muddledness in your speaking. You get through three of Mother's words, very calm, every easy, before anyone interrupts you. "Don't move your lips while you're thinking," Mrs. Perry advises, from behind the video camera. "It makes your performance less impressive." 1. What does that matter? 2. Then again, maybe it's best to awe the television audience. > Then again, maybe it's best to awe the television audience. "We want you to give the impression of being a very calm, focused, and brilliant young person," Mrs. Perry explains. "So that the main-stream media will have a hard time making fun of your home-schooling background, and will be forced to take you seriously." When you don't immediately answer, she adds, "Don't worry, dear, you have the best chance of anyone I've seen for a while. You could really be an important ambassador for us." 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. Easter Vigil service. 2. Mrs. Barron Commands A little light housework at the Barron household. 3. Mother and the Haircut Teasing Mother for another salon haircut. > Mrs. Barron Commands Mrs. Barron Commands -------------------- "You will lend me your daughters, won't you?" Mrs. Barron has Mother buttonholed. "I need a couple of hours, really just a couple of hours of help to get the place tidy. Mr. Barron is bringing the boss over for dinner tomorrow night, and --" (a little laugh) "-- he didn't really give me much warning. Isn't that just like a man?" A strange expression crosses Mother's face, but it does not turn into words. 1. Glare at Mother so that she'll spare you from this fate. 2. Pray. > Pray. You offer up a sincere request that this task might pass from you. "Oh, of course," says Mother. "We'd be happy to send the girls over this afternoon, and we usually have dinner ourselves around six, so if they could be back at about five thirty...?" Mrs. Barron squeezes Mother's upper arm. "You're an angel," she says. "Truly." At the Barrons', the state of chaos is even more advanced than when you saw it last. Lettice, who hasn't been here before, turns to you with eyes the size of saucers and says under her breath, "It's just like Cinderella." Mrs. Barron is not as deaf as you might have hoped. "Well, ha ha. Perhaps a little. Now, listen, girls, what do you think is the best way to go about putting the place in order?" There's a thumping noise from upstairs, and a sound of someone making laser noises. "Pew! Pewpewpew!" "Ignore that," says Mrs. Barron. "Just the boys playing." 1. Propose that the boys start on the washing up. 2. Suggest Lettice gather the dirty clothes and start the laundry. 3. Recommend that Mrs. Barron sort out what can't be lost. > Recommend that Mrs. Barron sort out what can't be lost. "Well -- it seems like some of these papers might be important, and Lettice and I won't know which. So perhaps if you took care of those, we could work on some of the cleaning chores." Mrs. Barron sighs. "It always starts with the papers," she says. "I just don't have the energy, girls. Will you look at them? I was hoping you could... I don't know, fix that and then I'd have a clean slate to start with. After that, maybe I can keep it up myself." "Um... okay," you say, thrown. "Well, could we maybe put the papers into a box, then?" "Yes!" says Mrs. Barron. "A box." You and Lettice improvise as well as you can. Mrs. Barron doesn't have stain treatment for her clothes, so Lettice tries something with baking soda paste that she thinks she saw Mother do once; but it doesn't get the red wine stain out of Mr. Barron's shirt. "Never mind," says Mrs. Barron, picking up the shirt and dropping it into the trash can. "Just do the other things." You manage to uncover enough of the floor to vacuum it, which is probably the first time this has happened in the Barron household for at least a calendar year. At 5:50, Mrs. Barron calls your mother to mention that you're going to be home late. She feeds you some cold pizza from the refrigerator instead of dinner. ("So we don't get plates dirty again, right girls?") The pizza is a novelty, but it has spicy bits on it. Since you have no plates or napkins, Lettice spits the jalapenos straight into the trash. 1. Home at last. > Home at last. It is nearly eleven o'clock when Mrs. Barron gets you back home. You and Lettice are drooping at this point, and climb sleepily into your beds. Your mother comes in. "Hey, kiddo," she says in the darkness. "I'm sorry I got you into that. It doesn't sound like fun. But we have to show charity and help to our neighbors." 1. It's not that charitable to make your kids do your charity work for you. 2. Did Mrs. Barron give us something good in barter? 3. I don't know why you let Mrs. Barron boss you like that. > Did Mrs. Barron give us something good in barter? "Did Mrs. Barron give us something good in barter?" you ask. "Mrs. Barron doesn't barter," says Mother. "But she gave us a check. Two hundred dollars. If she has that kind of money to throw around, I'm surprised she doesn't just hire a maid service." "Her house was really messy," you say. "Maybe she thinks maids would laugh at her." "Hm," says Mother. "Maybe. Now get some sleep. You've done good work today." Mother goes out and the door clicks shut behind her. 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. Greek Root Studies Studying your Greek roots. 2. Consultation Jerome asks an opinion. 3. Latin Root Studies Practical Latin work. > Latin Root Studies Latin Root Studies ------------------ Latin vocabulary work begins with... 1. IGN-. LUC-. LUMIN-. 2. FER-. TUL-. LAT-. 3. UNI-. BI-. > UNI-. BI-. There are singles, uniques. There are things that come naturally or necessarily in pairs, like binoculars, and bimetallic strips. And then there are things that are in pairs arbitrarily (BIATHLON, BIENNIUM). Finally things that are single unnaturally (UNICORN, UNICYCLE), and things that are doubled incorrectly or wrongfully (BIGAMY). Why is there nothing in the language to flag whether things are paired by design, or just by accident? 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. Pentecost The feast of the Holy Spirit at church. 2. Consultation Jerome asks an opinion. 3. Zulu Loan Words A short list but strange. > Zulu Loan Words Zulu Loan Words --------------- You shuffle through a few cards picked up from a source list online. There aren't too many of these that have made it into English, but you never know. 1. IMPALA 2. INDABA 3. MBAQANGA > INDABA *indaba, an important conference held by the head men of the Zulu people.* The dictionary is vague on whether this is formal, like a Parliament, or something a bit looser and less focused. 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. At the Copy Shop Father's newsletter runs into certain inconveniences. 2. Arabic Loan Words Dominated by the letters AL- 3. Performance Practice Spelling bees aren't just about spelling. > Arabic Loan Words Arabic Loan Words ----------------- The surprising thing about this stack of words is how familiar most of them are. You discard quite a few cards from the collection without needing any drill time at all, words like ALGEBRA and ZERO, TUNA and JAR. 1. ALCOHOL, ELIXIR, ALEMBIC. 2. CARMINE, DAMASK, LAZURITE. 3. GERBIL, JERBOA, GUNDI and JIRD. 4. MONSOON, TYPHOON, HABOOB. > GERBIL, JERBOA, GUNDI and JIRD. The gerbil is such an ordinary little pet, but it seems that it has more surprising relatives. The hopping, nocturnal JERBOA. The fat, ugly GUNDI, which also has to go by the name of "comb rat." The Indian JIRD, described by Wikipedia as "gregarious." 1. Lettice will like those. 2. Occasionally you wish for a pet, but there's no money. > Lettice will like those. When you tell Lettice what you are working on, she draws a cartoon of a gerbil family reunion. The jird is busy telling jokes in the middle of the room, while the gundi skulks in a corner, not very popular even with other rodents. "Where's the jerboa?" you ask. "You said it only came out at night," Lettice says. But she draws in an upstairs and a bedroom, where the snoozing jerboa dreams of growing up to be a kangaroo. 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. Year-end Competition It's that time of year again. > Year-end Competition Year-end Competition -------------------- It's time for the competition again. Mother packs up her sewing necessities. Lettice whines about having to come along, but eventually gets her sketchbooks together. Father cooks bacon and pancakes with maple syrup, and kisses you goodbye. 1. Let's go. > Let's go. You move through the local and district competitions with the ease of practice. The other students recognize you. "Repeat winner," one of the boys explains to his mother. The pronouncer at district is the same woman as last year. She still has a little mustache. It has if anything grown darker. The competitors at regional don't talk to each other so much, and have a kind of ferocious determination about them. And then. The stage. It's... your word is... Yes. Your mind has gone blanker than a blank sheet. Blanker than a snow storm. Did you even hear that? Understand it? It's all static up in there 1. ??? [Unavailable] ...Probably not. Almost certainly not. 2. ???? [Unavailable] ...No. 3. ????? > ????? yes there it is. In something like a fugue state, you have won regional. It doesn't feel right, does it? But you've won, you're going on Nationals! You and Mother receive airline tickets. Father is too busy at work to go, so despite your expectations, it's Mother who shows you around. Before you appear on stage, you get to sight-see: the Capitol building, the White House. The Mall. The Smithsonian building. And not just the Air and Space museum, but the other buildings of the Smithsonian, including the American History museum with George Washington in a toga. And then it's time for your debut on stage. And you get through the written exam and the semi-finals and in the finals it's down to 1. PUSTA. [Unavailable] No, you don't think so. 2. PUZTA. [Unavailable] That doesn't seem right either. 3. PUZSTA. [Unavailable] Or that. 4. PUSZTA. 5. Request the language of origin. > Request the language of origin. The pronouncer states that the source language is Hungarian. 1. PUSTA. [Unavailable] No, you don't think so. 2. PUZTA. [Unavailable] That doesn't seem right either. 3. PUZSTA. [Unavailable] Or that. 4. PUSZTA. 5. Request the language of origin. > PUSZTA. There. Yes. That was right. And then the next kid gets his word right too. It's not over here. The kids around you are your age or even younger. They all have their quirks -- their nail-biting and their last-minute flash-cards, their stage mothers and their specialty protein bar snacks -- but they have been doing what you've been doing, just as much or even more, living a life of words and letters. A life where nothing is written that they don't memorize. 1. And you don't know this word. > And you don't know this word. You can't envision it, you can't imagine how it's spelled on the page. You're going to lose because sometime, somewhere along the line, you didn't include whatever-it-is in your training program. Or you learned it and forgot it -- though it sounds like something you've never even seen before. 1. Pray for guidance. > Pray for guidance. You squeeze your eyes shut and try to bargain. You've given your best to this vocation of yours. All you had to give, at any rate. Maybe the final step has to be grace? But nothing happens. It doesn't come to you. You can ask for origin language, pronunciation again, use in a sentence, but that word isn't coming. You ding out and someone else wins the top place and the $30,000. And after that the world is sort of on mute, quiet, hard to see and hear. You get some accolades as the second-place winner, but they are far away, dim. 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. Epilogue Being Cain. > Epilogue Epilogue -------- You could accept -- maybe -- the coming in second place. Maybe it just means that you're not good enough. The way Cain's sacrifice just wasn't as good as Abel's, and he should have made peace with the fact, rather than striking his brother down. But then you hear Mother at church *bragging* to folk about how you came in second at National, and something slips. 1. What about how your striving for perfection was your gift to God? 2. What about the importance of fulfilling your vocation? 3. What about how you were going to win in the name of all home-schoolers? 4. How can second place possibly be acceptable to them? > What about the importance of fulfilling your vocation? That's why you leave. That's why you walk out of the church building before Sunday School starts and no one knows to look for you until a couple of hours have gone by. That's why you sit on a park bench all alone. Sometime soon you are going to have to make up your mind whether to go home again. If it's okay to fail there, then what's the point? 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. Epilogue Being Cain. > Epilogue Epilogue -------- You could accept -- maybe -- the coming in second place. Maybe it just means that you're not good enough. The way Cain's sacrifice just wasn't as good as Abel's, and he should have made peace with the fact, rather than striking his brother down. But then you hear Mother at church *bragging* to folk about how you came in second at National, and something slips. 1. What about how your striving for perfection was your gift to God? 2. What about the importance of fulfilling your vocation? 3. What about how you were going to win in the name of all home-schoolers? 4. How can second place possibly be acceptable to them? > How can second place possibly be acceptable to them? That's why you leave. That's why you walk out of the church building before Sunday School starts and no one knows to look for you until a couple of hours have gone by. That's why you sit on a park bench all alone. Sometime soon you are going to have to make up your mind whether to go home again. If it's okay to fail there, then what's the point? 1. Continue... > Continue... Contents -------- 1. Epilogue Being Cain. > Epilogue Epilogue -------- You could accept -- maybe -- the coming in second place. Maybe it just means that you're not good enough. The way Cain's sacrifice just wasn't as good as Abel's, and he should have made peace with the fact, rather than striking his brother down. But then you hear Mother at church *bragging* to folk about how you came in second at National, and something slips. 1. What about how your striving for perfection was your gift to God? 2. What about the importance of fulfilling your vocation? 3. What about how you were going to win in the name of all home-schoolers? 4. How can second place possibly be acceptable to them?