I wouldn’t have any of the characters from Type Help – wait, landlord? What landlord? Why are we tal-
5 Likes
I’ve been camping out here in a place called Haven and it’s really nice. Rent-free, on the condition that I gather berries in the morning. I’m also supposed to make tea, but I’m still struggling with the pot and strainer and fire…
My landlady is friendly and all, but she 's never told me her name. To be honest, I’m not so sure she knows it herself. I just quietly call her Dolphin Girl.
EDIT: Something really scary happened this afternoon! On this sunny day, Dolphin Girl wandered in from the bushes and the whole of Haven went totally Dark and the moon looked wobbly in the sky. I’m packing my things and leaving before it drops on my head.
2 Likes
And you’d be like: “Who on earth is this guy? I’ve never met him!”
2 Likes
I wouldn’t want Drew Cook—that rascal!—for a landlord, that’s for sure
8 Likes
Maybe a deep cut, but the Head in the Mud from Stephen Grande’s Losing Your Grip. Yeah, I’m late on rent. Whatcha gonna do about it?
3 Likes
That’s right, dear. This place is yours. The oven cooker, meticulously crafted from gooseberries and chocolate, begins to melt deliciously in the corner. Go on, my child, lap it up. The dribbling ceases but your hungry stomach is yet unfulfilled.
What do you mean, you ate your eviction notice? Oh, dear. My dear…
4 Likes
You know, I’m not sure I have a favorite NPC from IF…
When I try to think of IF NPCs, what comes to mind include:
The Thief from Zork I, but I’ve never gotten far enough in Zork I to build any attachment to the Thief if there’s anything to attach to there… And I’m not sure the Troll or Cyclops really count as NPCs.
The Wizard from Zork II, who’s in the same boat as the thief.
The pig from lost pig, who’s almost more of a MacGuffin than an NPC… also, the owner of theunderground liar the game takes place in, whose name I can’t remember…
Muggle Studies… but I don’t think I ever encountered any NPCs in my time playing it, and even if they show up, do characters from the source material in a fanfic IF of a novel series really count as IF NPCs?
Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy… this one’s official, but I’ve never gotten past the bulldozers and again, I’m probably just thinking of the Book/Radio Drama/Movie versions of the characters…
Galatea, but I’ve barely scratched the surface of that IF chatbot presented as an interactive museum display and it’s been long enough since I played that I don’t remember much.
I’ve played other IF, but I’m struggling to think of NPCs that really stand out… and I’m not sure who, if any, of the above to default to… Though considering that in real life, I don’t even know my landlady’s name, wouldn’t know her if I bumped into her at the store, and let oneof my sighted housemate handle all interactions with the landlady, I might not notice a difference.
2 Likes
Galatea would honestly be okay, but she wouldn’t really be able to help with any repair work lol
2 Likes
I wonder if Andrew Plotkin from Being Andrew Plotkin being Andrew Plotkin’s landlord is just a complicated way to say he owns a house.
12 Likes
I laughed out loud when I read it, honestly true.
1 Like
Old Giles (Mulldoon Legacy): Probably keeps on top of repairs well enough, but doesn’t answer any of your emails in a timely fashion.
Hubert Booby (To Hell in a Hamper): Your house is full of garbage that he won’t remove, and he makes up an excuse to keep your security deposit when you move out.
Croesus Verlac (Anchorhead): Uh oh!
4 Likes
I have even more for you guys. No one asked, but I just have more thoughts in my brain.
Alley (Photopia): honestly lovely. She wouldn’t raise the rent unexpectedly, she’d respect your privacy, I think she’d have very few rules and she would be very easy to get hold of if anything happened. I think she would also be understanding if you missed a payment, as long as you didn’t make that a habit and paid her back when you could. Only thing is she may not be strict enough on some of the rules but aside from that, great. 9.5/10.
Aunt Jemima (Curses): honestly quite strict and probably not pleasant to deal with when she’s in a mood. Probably wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world, but I don’t think it would be great. 4/10.
Phoebe (Blue Lacuna): probably knows the law inside out, would keep on top of maintenance and would have a good amount of rules. Probably doesn’t have the heart to evict you though if it came to that. 8/10
Lethe (Blue Lacuna): probably more laid-back than her sister but maybe a little bit tricky to get hold of. Possibly might not respond to emails in the timely manner. 7/10
Teraboz (Junior Arithmancer) oh no… I think she would honestly be fine, but probably very snarky. 3/10
Honestly, Violet and Alley would probably be the best landlords, but I’d still rather have Progue because I like his personality. Just don’t break any rules and pay your rent on time and you’ll probably be fine LOL.
3 Likes
I think Trent/Tiffany from Leather Goddesses of Phobos would be a solid choice of landlord. He/she is generally just a very decent person and in the worst case, if something went disastrously, life-threateningly wrong with the gas or electrics, you can count on him/her to save your life, die horribly in the process and then turn up again a couple of hours later completely unharmed.
9 Likes
That stranger that I met exploring The Edifice, when I my son was sick and we had to communicate somehow even though we didn’t speak the same language.
Pointing at stuff will only take you so far, but it turns out that it’s amply sufficient for a landlord; telling them what’s broken, and paying them the rent.
We get together sometimes and trade stories. It’s really cozy. I have no idea what he’s saying, and I’m sure he doesn’t have the foggiest what I’m saying, but somehow, by each other’s tone and expressions, we always seem to know the proper places to laugh at jokes we don’t understand, or appear suitable impressed by whatever grand revelation the other has imparted.
I tried discussing politics once. I think he thought I was talking about the zoo. Well, close enough.
EDIT - Oh, and how could I forget the goblin sidekick from Adventurer’s Consumer’s Guide. A really subservient landlord who’d always be on the lookout for your health and wellbeing, always ready to chip in with helpful advice on what you should be focusing on (“I think you should pay me this month’s rent, boss.”). He was my previous landlord.
Worked out well until that female goblin moved in. He had no trouble at all kicking me out so she could have the place all to herself.
5 Likes