I just wanna point out the obvious because I usually don’t see forums this helpful or civil.
So to all the people here!
From the bottom of the pitch black void thumping in my ribcage:
ahem
“Most of you don’t suck.”
Some of you might even get to live.
Okay but no you guys are all pretty cool 
and I appreciate it.
We are pretty terrific, aren’t we?
I know I am, anyway.
Well, it’s the whole golden rule thing, and all. Consider the lilies…
You’re a nice guy. I’ll kill you last.
Surely that’s worse. He’ll be seeing us all drop off like flies, wondering how he’s going to go, wondering if now’s the time, if he’s the last one. Then another one goes down, and his relief is tainted by the ever-increasing anxiety that NOW he might be the next one…
If you like the guy, kill him first. When he least expects it.
You monster.
This exchange reminds me of this paradox I read about on the ol’ wiki:
What about the paradox between the two statements:
Just wondering if I should start my life of crime a bit early, so I can live longer and die richer, or if I should be a saint, and finish last?
I’ve solved the hanging paradox, too. Every day at noon, stand behind the door, so that when the guard opens it, he doesn’t see you. Then, knock him out, and escape.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the typical IFer.
If the Gordian Knot had been a puzzle in Adventure, maybe violence would often be the answer.
Well, thanks, Peter. The whole point of IF, as I see it, is to think outside the box and try to find a solution for a seemingly insurmountable problem, within the context of the world. I was wondering if someone was going to ask, “Well, what if you’re shackled to the bed?” In which case, I have a solution for that.
If you find yourself shackled to the wall or bed within the hanging paradox, instead of waffling around about the time of one’s inevitable death, it would be better to instead think of the more important things, such as “how did the Universe come into being?” Or, “what’s the point of all this?” Or even, “who did let the dogs out?” In which case, there’s still a way out. If you can reach enlightenment before noon, you could then use your new-found Buddha nature to convince the guard that by hanging you, in essence, he would be hanging himself, since everything is one. Then, with the power of Universal love, the guard would have a change of heart, and decide to let you go. In that case, once he does, you knock him out, and escape.
Solved. +100 points, out of a possible infinity.
[code]Include Basic Screen Effects by Emily Short.
Every turn when Craftian is talking crazy:
say "Put ";
wait for any key;
say "the drugs ";
wait for any key;
say “down.”[/code]
I stopped taking them, because things like this tended to happen:
youtube.com/watch?v=7X4d3D8SncM
Seriously, who needs them? There’s better ways to escape reality – like the power of “imagination!”
youtube.com/watch?v=r2pt2-F2j2g
It was a puzzle in Enchanter, anyway.
Though violence isn’t entirely the answer even there–you need to break the spell holding the knot before you can cut it.
…I can’t believe I didn’t remember that.
Actually, I still don’t. Time to replay Enchanter!
you guys have been all so helpful :c i think i’m gonna cry
…
…
…
… … … it was just gas.
But seriously, all-a-y’all have been loads of help. progress is picking up.
I won’t be done in time for IFcomp but keep an eye out for my boss bag!