We did this on the author’s forum, but why should Comp authors have all the fun?
stanleyparable.com/2013/06/a … y-parable/
I just read this negative review of The Stanley Parable, written by the designer himself, and thought it might be an amusing excercise. In this thread, we write scathing reviews of our own games, trying to come up with the best possible arguments for why the game is truly terrible. For bonus points, include a reason why your game is not really interactive and/or not actually a game! Try to be original. Sarcastic recaps of existing negative reviews are no fun. You should excoriate your game for reasons far superior to those of the critics.
I’ll start:
Trapped in Time
[spoiler]This Comp has been full of barely interactive short stories that might as well have been published as static text. Trapped in Time, however, is the first one that literally IS just static text. The game, if you can even call it that, is a plain PDF document divided into numbered sections, like the choose-your-own-adventure novels of yore. I wanted to skip it, but a sense of morbid curiosity compelled me to give it a chance. Surely, this had to be something better than a simple choose-your-own-adventure that the author had been too lazy to implement in Twine? It turned out to be something much worse.
Trapped in Time forces you to skip back and forth between the numbered sections a gazillion times, which I found both inconvenient and highly annoying, as I was sitting in my couch with a bunch of loose pages! The situation is exacerbated by the fact that the story takes place in a time loop, so you are constantly being sent back to the beginning of the story and forced to read the same sections over and over and over again.
The author tries to be clever by including a form of rudimentary state tracking. Each time you discover something new, the story provides you with a number you can add to an existing section, to utilize your new knowledge. While this does add some variety, the overall effect is to make the story even more annoying to read. In addition to finding the right section, you also have to write down a growing list of numbers along with the conditions under which you are allowed to add them to an existing number to get a new number and so on. The whole thing is about as much fun as doing math homework.
Furthermore, I looked in vain for a reason why this could not have been implemented in Twine, or some other hypertext framework allowing for state tracking. As it was, I was too annoyed by the horrible mechanics to pay much attention to the story. Not that doing this would have saved the thing, as the story is just a bunch of SF clichés, filled with two-dimensional stock characters.
When you reach the end, the reason for the format of the story is finally revealed, in a twist so smugly convinced of its own cleverness that it made me throw the pages at the wall in rage. See, as a time traveler, you have always been able to travel through time, so every time you read the wrong section it was actually time travel! Oh, joy! I could almost imagine the author sitting next to me with a smug grin all over his face.
This is one of the worst twists in history, for more reasons than I can count. I’ll just mention two here: Firstly, while I had certainly read the wrong section several times, in my stubborn attempt to struggle through this “game”, I would never dream of considering such mistakes part of the narrative. Reading the wrong section by accident is not fun or interesting in any way.
Secondly, while I’m certainly capable of reading whatever section I like, the whole point of a CYOA is NOT to do that. The twist undermines the very foundation of the medium, removing what little interactivity might have been left in the pile of static pages now spread all over my floor.
After the reveal, you are supposed to track down a bunch of time travel stories hidden among the other sections. This is just as tedious as the rest of the experience, and it would have been better if the game had just linked you directly to those sections, instead of wallowing in its own perceived cleverness.
I don’t feel this story belongs in the Interactive Fiction Competition at all, as there is no genuine interactivity here. It’s just a bunch of static text pages that even tells you at the end that you can freely choose the order in which to read them! I suppose next people will start submitting short stories, and claim that they are totally interactive because you can re-read them once you are done.
In conclusion, Trapped in Time was not only a Waste of Time, but also a waste of 34 perfectly good sheets of paper. Highly uncommended.[/spoiler]