A Brand New World by Raiden
Continuing my current batch of Senica Thing game plays, and it’s on to this one.
The writing is detailed and descriptive, with excellent spelling throughout.
However there’s a very long intro, and other long portions aren’t very interactive either, with just a “next” type thing to click on to get another long chunk. Do remember the “interactive” in “interactive fiction” - it is important. And especially if you enter a future game into the Main Festival.
When I got into a magical world there was a really mind expanding description:
Amidst all the food stalls, you notice the bizarre objects placed on little displays - herbs, gems, typical goods one can find at a fair, and items you have never seen before. Golden, tear-shaped jewels laid out on a red pillow, vials filled with glittering liquids (some even formed into shapes).
I wonder if it might be possible for the author to let the player click on some of these items to see more. Because I wanted to interact with them.
There are lots of fun endings to explore (I like their handy abbreviations, like “Ignorance Is Bliss”). It’s a really nicely imagined world that the player can end up in. But maybe make the story a little more interactive in places, either breaking things up more, or adding more descriptive/expansive options to explore. Because great writing in an interactive fiction game needs to sit alongside interaction. So that’s my big tip.
A note for the author on spelling:
I rarely comment on spelling in Senica Thing games. I think you’re all doing brilliantly, and it’s not the key focus.
But in this case the author wants to potentially enter the Main Festival with another game in future. Spelling typos are less welcome there. I only spotted a few (“colorfoul”, and “and a dozens of others,” - remove the “a”), including one at the very very start of the game unfortunately (“It’s a casual, Friday evening.” - should not have a comma there). It might be worth using a spell checker on text, if allowed by the tutor. Especially if aiming for the Main Festival. Generally though this game was superb on the spelling front. Well done!