Twine Story: All Systems Stand By

A short story adapted to use Twine’s slick presentation capabilities. Takes about six minutes to play through. Hope you like it!

dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/100 … 20web.html

-Liyamu

I’d like to play this game, and you’ve obviously put a lot of work into it (I had no idea Twine could do this!), but the speed at which you’re printing characters is significantly slower than my reading speed, and I quit out of frustration.

Could you please either step up the print speed or add the ability to click and reveal all text?

I didn’t quit, and surprisingly the text speeds up later on in the piece. But yes, it is frustratingly slow to start off with. Liked it!

Yeah, the idea was that “it” was just booting up, and therefore slower. Glad you liked it!

I think the booting up effect works well, but it should maybe just be for the first few lines of text so it doesn’t put people off. Did you do the CSS yourself or is it a template?

This is a real technical showcase for Twine. Definitely the most visually pleasing Twine game that I’ve played so far.

Since it’s adapted from a short story I don’t exactly feel the most obvious criticisms would apply to a story intended to be IF. I mean, it is a series of screens that the user reads before clicking to advance to the next one. Using the original story as a springboard to branch the narrative and put your own stamp on the story would have been immensely interesting.

From a personal taste standpoint, I think the epilogue (the mother’s perspective) is a bit unnecessary. It explains things that don’t need explaining. But that segment and the preceding one are both beautifully rendered. I hope that you can use similar techniques on your next Twine project, one that is designed to present more choices to the reader.

reminded me of Calvin

and no, this is neither the best presentation I saw in twine nor a game at all. Using links to pace the linear reading of static fiction is not my idea of a game

Interesting…

What is the best presentation you’ve seen in Twine?

The first section is a modified version of one of Leon’s templates on glorious train-wrecks (can’t remember what it’s called at the moment, and don’t have the file to hand). Just went to grab the link, and it looks like he’s taken it down. I have it, if anyone wants it.

The second section was CSS I blundered through before I knew much about CSS, using a few pictures I’d taken.

It’s not a game. It’s a story. That’s why the title says “Twine Story.”