Yup, that’s my big worry.
I wanted some pizzazz with the little rhymes, but you’re right, they’re not adding much and making it too long. I’ll ditch them.
Thanks for the help!
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Who’s the fairest of them all? Well, I am your magic mirror, not a matchmaker. But with that handsome face, you should have no trouble finding a winsome bride amongst the bevy of eligible maidens residing in the deep, dark, fairy-tale forest! (What’s that? Oh…) The magic feather wants to come along too. (Honestly, what good is a feather against those witches and wolves and…)
Don’t worry! This text-based parser game is merciful and we should have no problem overcoming the dangers (and potential violence) in store. We’ll have you happily-ever-aftering one of 13 different ways within the next 90 minutes if all goes well! Onward! (Yes, feather, you’re coming too…)
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Sorry, this is dumb question; what is this “blurb” thing?
I too am working on my SpringThing entry + cover art.
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The “blurb” is the text that describes the game. Kind of like the copy on the back of the book that describes and entices you to buy it.
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@AmandaB I think there is an author’s note section in Spring thing…the 4th paragraph is better suited to that. So I would do something like:
“Mirror, mirror, on the wall, play this game and have a ball!” No, wait a sec. That’s terrible.
“Mirror, mirror, in the game, helps win the throne, and girls, and fame!” Ugh. Ahem. Moving on…
Once upon a time, and that time is now, a prince embarks on a quest to inherit the throne and find the fairest of them all, plus witches, wolves, and a bevy of potential brides.
Authors note: Fairest is a merciful parser-based adventure game with 13 different endings, written in Inform 7, with a play time of around an hour and a half. It contains violence.
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Dude. You should get a job doing this. This is awesome.
Think of the riches in store for a professional IF blurb writer!
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“Fairest is a classic story of prince-meets-princess, with a guaranteed fairy tale ending. A Grimms’ Fairy Tale ending.”
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Ah, the old bait-and-switch approach in the blurb! Of course everyone knows that I love happy endings and strive to make things as Disney-perfect as possible.
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I always have a really hard time writing blurbs for my games (I usually end up with a dry description of what the game does), so I’m very happy this thread exists.
Here’s what I have so far. Looking forward to your feedback!
Rosalinda has returned from the dead as a skeleton only to learn that the Necromancer wants to force her into his army. Now she has to stop his plans of conquest and save the city of Greywall. Luckily, Rosalinda has a good head on her shoulders (that is, once she finds it), and Piecrust the Mouse is there to help – as long as it doesn’t mean missing mealtime.
The Bones of Rosalinda is a puzzle-heavy fantasy adventure with multiple (and multi-part) playable characters.
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I tend to like second-person blurbs better than third-person. Maybe something like this?
The city of Greywall is under the threat of conquest by an undead army unleashed by the Necromancer. You are the only one who can stop him… with one tiny problem: you’re a disarticulated skeleton with only a mouse to help you. Luckily, you have a good head on your shoulders (once you find it!) and the mouse is more than he appears.
The Bones of Rosalinda is a puzzle-heavy fantasy adventure with multiple (and multi-part) playable characters.
Although I don’t think this does the game justice either. I’m thinking on it.
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I’m now wondering about the 2nd vs 3rd person issue. Since the game is written in third person, I tried to keep that in the blurb as well - I thought it would sound inconsistent otherwise. But maybe it’s just me that finds that weird?
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I don’t think anyone would feel there was an inconsistency there. I don’t expect the blurb to be written in the same tense as the actual material.
For me-- and this is just a personal thing-- I think using “you” in a blurb makes me feel more connected to the blurb, more like I should play the game. But it’s not a huge selling point, just a little psychological connection. I think your existing blurb is perfectly fine! Just wanted to offer an alternative.
edited to add: maybe I should take my own advice and rethink that in my own blurb.
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Where’s our professional blurber (that autocorrected to blubber, which would have been funny to let sit)? I’m not sure what @HanonO is charging for blurbs now, but he should have a go!
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A Zombie invasion.
A boneless, helpless shade.
“Squeak!”
Oh yeah, and you, to help me get my act together.
Boy, is Greywall in trouble.
Fairest is a merciful parser-based adventure game with 13 different endings, written in Inform 7, with a play time of around an hour and a half. It contains violence.
A blurb isn’t supposed to explain your game, it’s supposed to be a teaser to tempt people into playing it. So there’s a whole bunch of information you can leave out. Let people find out all that cool plot and puzzle stuff you’ve sweated over by playing it.
Of course, that blurb might be completely the wrong tone for your game, I dunno. Hope it helps, if only as a starting point for you to change everything!
@HanonO - how did you do that teeny writing on your post?
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The people of Graywall always said Rosalinda had a good head on her shoulders. Even though that’s no longer quite the case, she still has a plan to stop the Necromancer’s army of the dead from rotting the entire city to bones and ashes.
Step one: make sure that mouse doesn’t scurry off with the second finger bone from her left hand.
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I’m not so hot at the blurb thing myself -summaries have never really been my speed- but I do just want to say that Piecrust the Mouse sounds like an adorable character, and I can’t wait to meet them!
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It’s a small tag:
Small text.
<small>Small text.</small>
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