Give me a rope, a bucket and a teapot, and a faucet.
You won’t hear from me all afternoon.
12 Likes
don’t forget the box of matches. 
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And a layered clothing system.
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(looks around in fear)
D-Do you just need a faucet…? Or all of these items…?
EDIT: Also, according to one of my testers, he apparently needs a parser alone, and will type all kinds of crazy stuff into it, and find crashes previously thought impossible, lol.
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Well, OK, but you’re going to have to measure the height of a building with them.
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Not filled: You’ve got 253 ML and the three cups measure 300 and 100 and 8 ML, and you must use those to measure out exactly 85 ML of the goat’s milk or the machinery will malfunction and the milk factory will burn…
They’re all clove-flavored and an attractive yellowish green color.
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The faucet implies water. Just add fire and you have all the ingredients you need to keep you happily occupied for a whole day, not just the afternoon.
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You have created Steam. Ouch.
*** Ironically, you didn’t need to occupy yourself an entire day… ***
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Who is this person?! I need that!
I think most of us do, anyway…
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What?!? No toilet? The possibilities are endless.
If you really want to make Rovarsson happy, you also need to robustly implement LICK. And if you also implement a toilet, I suggest you use my dog as your PC, since LICK TOILET is an everyday thing around our house.
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And FART. Rovarsson isn’t happy unless you’ve got a response for that.
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Dang. Forgot that one.
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Based on what I’ve read about the history of IF, the FART command should send you rocketing across the map in a straight line and then smash you into the wall.
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I have a situation in my game where a player might actually plausibly try to FART…
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Sigh and heavy eyeroll 
I hate the word “fart”. And I have never found anything about the process funny in any way though I know many people really do. (Yes, I know I won’t survive the Idiocracy apocalypse!)
Dumb off-topic personal anecdote
I remember when my musician roommate pitched for us to work on a musical based on Le Pétomane the French flatulist (professional farter) or fartiste if you will. He talked to me about it for a week and finally I was like “Okay, as soon as our weird space alien/archaeology musical is completed, we’ll CONSIDER that for our follow up, okay?” (Sadly knowing in my brain that our main project was something of a white whale and we’d never have to consider it.)
I certainly wouldn’t enjoy being a part of that in any way since I am fart-comedy-blind and couldn’t conceive how you’d pull it off anywhere but in an adult-circus concept (kind of like Puppetry of the Penis) …although nowadays with age and wisdom I realize this might actually be a funny project if done correctly since the way has been paved by hilariously subversive musicals like Urinetown and The Book of Mormon. I just wouldn’t be the right person to create it.
Hanon's Weird Quirks #37:
(wow, you can nest detail summaries!)
There are a group of words that just randomly squick me out for absolutely little reason, kind of how moist or panties do for some people. Fart is one, weirdly pie is another in anything but the most literal context like “Hand me that apple pie from the freezer.” For some reason certain ways of earnestly describing food (unless I’m going for funny or ironic ad-copy) cause vapor-lock. That’s why I never could make it as a waiter because they always wanted us to upsell specials and deserts using words like hot home-made and fresh and I could never pull it off convincingly without it seeming I was being forced to read terrorist demands.
“Ummm…Banjo the Bomber is demanding [page rustle] ‘a box of fresh, delicious Ho-Hos and a direct line to the President’…”
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I don’t really find farting funny either, but I implemented it so that players that think along that line won’t feel gypped… it isn’t the solution to a puzzle, but someone might try it thinking it could be…
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In my next ostensible parser game, I swear on all my unlikely progeny to implement that action to result in instant death!
Regarding an AIF I wrote
Yeah, Hanon, you write sex games, what’s the deal?
In Sex on the Beach I spent a day creating the absolute weirdest outcome for an activity I can euphemistically refer to as “hot-dogging” or “groove surfing” that results in a game over and for some reason it made me laugh so hard I couldn’t take it out.
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If it’s any consolation, the player doesn’t actually get the satisfaction of farting, but they at least get a response for trying…
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When my grandfather was 99 years old (and still playing tennis daily), I caught him and my then 8-year-old nephew doing armpit farts and laughing so hard they were crying. And I thought, really? They never grow up. But secretly in my heart of hearts underneath all the grownup crust, I thought it was funny too. So I have a veneer of fart-comedy blindness, but it’s just a way of pretending that I’m an adult.
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