I already announced this story, but it was suggested I ask for formal review-type feedback here. So I created my first IF called “Love Forever.” and would really love some feedback. I’m very thankful I’ve gotten 50 plays so far, but I would really like to know how people feel playing it. So far I’ve been told the first image works on and off, but I haven’t figured out the pattern to it. I’ve never shown any IF I’ve written to anyone else, and this is my first short fully complete piece, so I’m very new to this style. Because of that I don’t know what works and what doesn’t, so I’m hoping with some help I can figure it out. As I said in my announcement I would love if you guys could take a look and tell me your thoughts.
She will love him forever, and because of that you are damned.
Through every single life your heart has belonged to him. It is a curse that has plagued you across time, and has left scars deeper than anyone other than him could ever hope to understand. You love him. You hate him. You do not always meet, but when you do even the good lives make you feel old. Is it worth it to know you will always be loved somewhere by someone? You do not know anymore. All you know is once you were beyond mortal existence, and he dragged you down dark alleyways to places you wish you did not know exist. This is your curse.
Rating: Mature content(Vague sexual situations and non-descriptive violence)
Genre: Surrealist, drama, fantasy
It’s also on the interactive fiction database in the Twine directory too if you want to download it for later