Nonexistent comp

This is to unofficially unannounce the absense of the nonexistent comp. The winner will be the first person who fails to announce their nonparticipation. Games submitted must be unwinnable, as they must not exist. If you submit a game to the nonexistent comp you’ve already lost. There will be no prizes or recognition of winners, because this comp doesn’t exist.

Drop no tea. (Or maybe I should say “don’t drop no tea.”)

In any event, the whole thing sounds rather negative, wouldn’t you say?

By the way, I might be unentering the non-comp with my non-game, This Game Unintentionally Left Blank.

Robert Rothman


I’m very interested by this idea. Are we allowed to discuss the games that don’t exist or would that be in breach of the rules (which also don’t exist)? I also want to know when the results won’t be announced.


To whom should I not submit my non-entry?

I am ashamed to see that this once-reputable competition has become a farce. I hereby withdraw my entry.

But if you withdraw your entry, it must mean that you have once entered the non-existant comp. Which again means that you have disqualified yourself. [emote]:roll:[/emote]

As I didn’t enter a game, do I win by default? If so, what form will my nonexistent prize take? Something purple please.

No, you didn’t win; you merely didn’t not win, which is far more important.

Is there some kind of reverse Anselm’s ontological argument we could construct about the non-existent comp?

It’s been a while since I was allowed near a negated existential quantifier, but I’m pretty sure it means that God won the comp with an average score of 1.0, and got the Golden Banana.

This is still hilarious to me.

The absence of valid entries in the non-existent comp has caused the cancellation of the comp and the posthumous elimination of all invalid entries that never occurred. I apologize for any inconvenience this hasn’t caused for any non-authors who didn’t plan on failing to enter.

Since my non-entry has now been eliminated, that must mean I didn’t not win – so I won, right? Please let me know when to expect my non-prize, and when we’ll be ready to sign the contract for commercial publishing of my non-game.

Robert Rothman

No, if you read my message carefully you’ll realize that the non-entries will only be eliminated after the authors have died.

I was hoping that at least Nobody would win the comp [emote]:-([/emote]

“We’ll all become unpeople. undoing unthings untogether!” quoth the Third Doctor.