Never Comp

After proving my point that you can’t do pr0n in Interactive Fiction, because it’s “potentially offensive”, I share a list of things you should NEVER EVER submit to a Comp either:

  1. Games who try to make a parody of Paul Panks
  2. Labyrinths from which there is no escape from
  3. Night Vision Goggles which do not work
  4. Hookers who give hints
  5. Instant deaths
  6. Ninjas
  7. Adventures which include all of the above in one game (see 1-7)

Although this fluffy frosting, or fluffy icing, is a little more time-consuming than my other recipes, the end result is well worth the effort.

1 cup sugar
1/3 cup water
2 egg whites

  1. Combine sugar and water in a small saucepan and stir over medium heat until sugar is dissolved.

  2. Increase heat and boil rapidly, without stirring, uncovered for 3 to 5 minutes. You can test by dropping 1 teaspoon of syrup into cold water - it should form a ball or soft sticky toffee when rolled between your fingers. The syrup should not change colour. If it has changed colour it has been cooked for too long and you will need to start again.

  3. While syrup is boiling, beat egg whites in small bowl of electric mixer until stiff.

  4. When syrup is ready, allow bubbles to subside, pour in a very thin stream on to the egg whites while they are beating on medium speed.

  5. Continue slowly adding and beating until all syrup is used.

  6. Continue to beat until frosting will stand in stiff peaks.

  7. Tint by beating colour through in mixer or with a wooden spoon. Frosting can also be flavoured with half a teaspoon of any essence.

Frosting should be applied to the cake on the day frosting is made as the frosting will still be soft with a marshmallow consistency.

The cupcake frosting can become slightly crisp and lose some of its glossy appearance the following day.

Basically, an Italian meringue – but I’m missing the relevance.

Robert Rothman

What downward cooking operation does it engage in when coming to the same thing?

It boils down.


In the end.

That meringue sounds a little too involved for me. Easier and more forgiving:

Peach Crumble

Grease a pan with butter. Add 8-10 sliced fresh peaches. Sprinkle cinnamon over every layer. Add a handful of brown sugar over the top if the peaches are not perfectly ripe.

Mix 1/2 to 1 cup quick cook rolled oats and/or whole wheat flour, about 1/4 cup brown sugar, a sprinkle of salt, and 2-3 tablespoons butter. Mix with hands. You’re looking for a slightly crumblier than cookie dough consistency, but it’s hard to go wrong. Put on top of peaches.

Bake peach crumble in 350*F oven for 30-60 minutes. (I like mine at 75 minutes - everything is redolent with cinnamon and the peaches have that roasted thing happening, but you’ll have more liquid than you normally would.)

If you’re feeling extra indulgent, consume with dulce de leche ice cream from Haagen Daez.

Ah, I was not aware of this. I’m a firm believer in the utility of pie-tossing. However, as a traditionalist I usually go for the simple shaving cream variety. If it was good enough for the Three Stooges and Soupy Sales, it’s good enough for me!

Robert Rothman

My own take on this one would be to scrap the oats in favor of some ground almonds or cashews. I like to grind about one-half of the nuts to a fine powder, with the remainder a little coarser. I’d also up the butter content. Finally, with a very juicy fruit such as peaches, I might add just a touch of cornstarch to thicken it up a little (although not enough to produce the kind of overly thick, gloppy concoction found in commercial pies).

Actually, with peaches in season right now, I guess I should prepare one of these.

Robert Rothman

I was just fixing to write a long post about a game design question I had but screw it now, off to the store for peaches.

Ooh, that does sound promising. And more butter is always a good thing. I like my crumble juicy, because then the ice cream melts into the warm juice and it’s double plus good. Or if you leave it overnight in the fridge, it’s a more traditional consistency.

Maybe someone should write a game that breaks every rule in the “Players Bill of Rights”. It could be a pr0n, too.

As I demonstrated in my “Too sexy for this comp” thread, pr0n adventures with sexy images and adult language would be viewed as offensive and trollish. If you submit such a game to the IFComp you run the risk of being disqualified or receive very negative feedback in the reviews.

Maybe the forum is full of virgins and you shouldn’t spoil the experience for them. So please, use the spoiler tag.

Just to be absolutely clear, you weren’t assumed to be a troll until you posted four or five of your “pranks”, with the last one being the most glaring. Don’t confuse things.

Hey guys, don’t feed the troll.

Oh, I don’t think he’s a troll per se. From his post in the “Introduction” thread, it’s clear he came here with a very clear purpose. That purpose was definitely trollish, but his reply in this thread is the very coherent post I’ve seen him make (after the “Intro” thread), and I felt deserved some sort of reply.