A short fantasy story about a girl who must rescue her little brother, who was kidnapped by the shadow people. The story isn’t bad; I like the way it evokes, in a brief space, the old and deeply rooted fear and darkness in the girl’s heart, which she must confront in order to succeed. It recalls the deep seriousness of the emotional and spiritual lives of children, which so many stories fail to respect.

Unfortunately, it’s just not IF, because there’s absolutely no interactivity whatsoever. It may have been made with a choice-based authoring system, but in fact it’s zero-choice: it would be functionally identical if it was a series of static HTML pages. This was entered in the wrong contest.


My review is at https://murderinthemail.net/2019/10/02/if-comp-lucerne/

Here’s the text:

The first pic is not showing up. Possibly because I’m using Safari?

Gorgeous cover. Atmospheric and intriguing. Screams “dark fantasy/adventure” which is right on.

And, I know I said I’d skip the 15 minute ones. I just… didn’t find many that suited my criteria, and this one sounded like it wasn’t too dark for me.

This took me about 10 minutes to play, which is about right (I read very quickly). It was a decent story, with a character arc that I found interesting.


I don’t think I made a single choice the whole way through.

And, there were quite a few spelling and grammar mistakes (oddly enough, the visual settings and certain grammar mistakes reminded me of “The Island”, which I just reviewed a moment ago… could they be written by the same person?)

I’m going to give this 2 stars as well [actually 4, because the score is out of 10], because although the story is better written than “The Island” it still has room for improvement, and the number of spelling and grammar mistakes is still quite high. And the lack of interactivity is quite severe.

But it’s another story that is free of sex and violence, which is actually an achievement in itself.

A well-written narrative that unfortunately has no interactivity whatsoever. I’ve posted a review of it on my blog.

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