Is this the first review?

I just played Dick McButts Gets Kicked in the Nuts.
Umm, it lives up to its title? It’s not really a game, it’s just a slideshow of bad-dream-like word images, mostly involving the anatomy aforementioned and various bodily fluids. I honestly had to wonder whether the author purposely put in the effort to create so many typos, misspellings, and grammar/punctuation faux pas. There are no choices, you just watch the author play with Twine text effects using juvenile humor (which a couple of times was so ridiculous that I did actually chuckle).
And congrats, John! It’s your first IF review ever!


Ehh, having played it myself after seeing this, I don’t think it’s that bad. Full of crude humor, sure, but it’s competently written and I saw zero spelling/grammar issues. The story had plenty of choices and more depth than I was expecting (though not that much depth). It’s still very one-note, but I wouldn’t write it off completely.

Each to their own, though. Grats on your first review!


We must surely be speaking of a different game?! I wasn’t being facetious… I simply clicked to bring up the next text snippet… and the typography was undeniably full of errors. I’m very curious to know what you played through…


The version I played looked okay, I think. I did use the “Play Online” option, so that could be why? It’s just the link on the IFComp page, at DICK MCBUTTS GETS KICKED IN THE NUTS - Details.

This is what one of the early passages looks like, for me:

Any day could be the day.

A quick trip to the zoo. (Where dwelleth the angry zebras.)

A charity fun run. (Where striveth the runners’ kicky legs.)

A friendly Taekwondo sparring match. (Which needeth no explanation.)

Even today. Here and now. In this moderately priced Chinese restaurant.

Maybe the version that comes with the bulk download of all the IFComp games is different? I always play directly from the page, so I wouldn’t know.


I used the play online option too.

It looks like it uses the link-reveal macro a lot.

(link-reveal: "TEXT")[=

I haven’t tried this, but you maybe could download it locally, replace (link-reveal: with nothing, and replace )[= with nothing, and see if that works.

I got through okay with Firefox.

I believe I’ve played DMGKB to the end. There is an act 2. I was worried it was a troll game. It is not. Okay, it’s not exactly trying for peak profundity, but it’s not a troll game. I think some people might be worried it is.


I don’t have time to check at the moment, but I believe I played something different from what you both are talking about!


@Cerfeuil Did your game feature a flashing pink-and-green screen that starts off with
“Dick… gets kicked in the…”
“Right in the … …!”
“It rely hurt!!!”
“He throw’s up…”


@Cerfeuil I also saw nothing like the text you posted…


Ah, I see the “rely” typo in the source code of the version I played.

This is very confusing. I think the author’s doing something deliberate here so that people seem to get 2 different games, and the story starts at a different point for other people, but I’m not sure what! Given the main story I downloaded seemed proofread … perhaps it’s as simple as “25% of the time, you get the silly illiterate version?”

Because there definitely seems to be 2 stories you can access. You got the straightforward one with the garish screen, and we got something with a more plain twine look.


Oh man, that makes more sense. When I was checking that game out I sometimes got the flashing screen and sometimes the black one and couldn’t tell why. Is one the download and one the play online or do they both vary?


It seems like I get the pink and green on Chrome and Opera, but I get the black screen in Firefox.

Mods, should we split these posts off from the main topic? I always forget who can, or how.


So I loaded it in Twine. First of all, the passages are arranged to form a NSFW image in the Twine editor. Secondly, it is indeed splitting into two different games. Here’s the starting passage:

Passage: "Splitter"
(forget-visits: -1)
(if: (saved-games: ) contains "good path")[(go-to: "good start")]
(elseif: (saved-games: ) contains "bad path")[(go-to: "bad start")]
(else:)[(set: $path to (random: 0, 1000))
(if: $path > 388)[(go-to: "good start")]
(else:)[(go-to: "bad start")]]

Is this a bid for Golden Banana of Discord? Because I was going to rate the game a 2 from what I saw…


I’m not great with Harlowe, but it looks like the code randomly picks a number between 0 and 1000 and only shows you the good story (“good start”) if the number is larger than 388. It also saves whether you get the good story or bad story, so as long as you use one browser and don’t clear your cookies, you’ll always get the same version of the story? That’s one way to troll people, I guess. They’re similar enough on the surface that people could start debating the content without actually checking if they played the same game. Pretty impressively evil, I gotta say.


That sounds like an unusual way to use seeding.

1 Like

For those wondering how many times we can expect to load the game to see both entries?

3.211 times. If X is the chance you get the good game, then

1 + 1 / (1-X) is the expected number of rolls you need to get both games, if the good game comes first.
1 + 1 / X is the expected number of rolls you need to get both games, if the bad game comes first.

X * (1 + 1/(1-X)) + (1-X) * (1 + 1 / X)
= 1 + X/(1-X) + (1-X)/X

X=.388 here so that means 1 + ~.634 + ~1.577 is our answer.

47.5% of the time, you’ll just need 2 tries.

Given how I broke down a game about … that … to some numbers, you’ll be shocked I may not be very fun at parties.