Interactive Fiction Writing

Hello, everyone,

I’m fairly new to writing interactive fiction (though I’ve been writing good old fiction all my life), and I was wondering if I could get some feedback on stories I’ve written. These were done as a test of a new IF writing system, and I’d love to know how close they are to what you folks expect. They are here:

[edited later]
The Black Cat
In The Valley of the Kings
Small Packages

and can be found here:

[end of edit]

Thanks awfully!

Hi there, and welcome to IF!

Weirdly your links seem to take me into an editor page for your games! I didn’t actually click anything but it seemed to be allowing me to rename, delete the games, etc, and it says the games are not yet published. Am I being daft? Surely I shouldn’t see that screen without your login…

Oops, my bad. Here’s the link for the site.

Great, I’ll take a look. You might want to edit those links out of the top post!

Edit: and I see you already did!

These stories are a test of a new system, they may be very simplistic by the standard of the people here, but one has to start somewhere.

Hi, I played “In the Valley of Kings” for a while. The platform looks fine, and there’s obviously some state-tracking power which is good to know, but I think there are some hitches in the programming that could be ironed out with a bit more beta testing and scripting. There’s one hitch with the platform that I can see – you can apparently use the browser’s “Back” button to undo choices, except that it looks like going “back” doesn’t undo the state-tracking and scripting. It would probably take a lot of behind the scenes work to fix this, but there should probably be a warning that using the “back” button can mess things up.

In the Treasury, the room description starts

You insert the bottles into the depressions in the doors and with a great grinding and rumbling, the doors slowly, slowly open.

even if that’s not what you’ve just done; for instance, if you’re examining something and then you go back to the room. Also, you have to do this every time you go back to the Treasury; it seems like the sort of thing you’d only have to do once.

And what’s definitely a bug:

When I left the Burial Chamber? after doing the bow-and-arrow thing and putting the throne on the indentations (partly because I hadn’t yet put the flour in, and this was the only way to get the choice back) I had to go through the bow-and-arrow thing again; that roof tile should definitely stay down once it’s down. And – oh dear – now I can’t actually put the throne down again, or put the flour back in, or bascially do anything.

Also, there’s a “flower” where it should be “flour.”

One of your design decisions is e-vil:

Causing the player to get stuck irreversibly if they don’t take the seal on the first move, after hinting that that’s not a good idea.

All this said, though, I like it! It’s a lot like a traditional cave-crawling kleptomaniac parser IF, but nothing wrong with that. As with everything, it just takes beta testing.

Thanks much! Great feedback, this will help a lot!