Inspiration from our spammers

Most of the spam this forum gets is only visible to the mods because we’ve required mod approval for new users. But we do get some weird spam. I thought that some of today’s could be particularly inspiring, so if you’re looking for an idea, I might just have a title for you!

[b]How to Become the Most Stylish Girl in School

The European Commission

How to Become a Goddess

How to Ask Your Crush out in Five Minutes[/b]

(There’s a lot of “How to” spam today…)

Huh. All four titles literally jumped out at me as, if not fully-formed, then at least viable story ideas in their own right. It seems spam mails do have value after all.

I have to ask, those titles were out of how many duds?

How do you become a goddess? Sounds awesome.

Not too many duds today, less than 10 total at the time I think. There were even two How to Become a Goddess topics, from two different users. It’s back to christian louboutin and oakley now though.

Spam comp anyone?

Dunno about the goddess, but do know about how to ask your crush out. And five minutes is taking way too long.

“Hello, crush! Would you like to go out with me to [X event] on [X day]?”

Ten seconds, bam.

That’s what you think. What really comes out of your mouth is “akrrfk mrrmbfl gragrmllf…”

There’s a game that’s just like that!

Wow, a minute with that game took all my synapses and pushed them through a blender.

I think those would work best as chapters of the same work. (It’s about a high-school girl who, in a secret life, moonlights as the European Commissioner for Enlargement and European Neighbourhood Policy.)

Is anyone else seriously tempted to write a game with one of those as the title?

“How to become the crush of the most stylish girl in the european commission”
“How to crush a goddess”
“How to style the european commission”

I guess Dannii forgot to post the title for the chapter on Enlargement. :unamused:

(This thread is educational, too. I didn’t know we had a commissioner for Enlargement and European Neighbourhood Policy, so I spent some time reading up on what the commission actually is and does. Good for the upcoming election.)

I want all of these games.

Today there are two very prolific Russian spammers with over 30 attempted topics each. (Well they’re posting in Cyrillic at least.) Oh wow, they’re actually changing their avatars quickly too. However here are some new ones:

[b]How to Get the Look of a Popular Girl

How to Appear Wealthy

How to Dress Like an Indie Hipster[/b]

The commissioner for Enlargement is to take part in an election…?

I’m sure there’s a word spelled wrong in there somewhere.

Submitted without comment: Commissioner Štefan Füle.

I don’t think I misspelt anything there? They’re not directly elected, but there is an election for the EU parliament later this year. Then the parliament elects the commission.

Enlargement cough Erection.

Sorry. You probably have to have the sense of humour of a school boy to appreciate it :slight_smile:

[b]How to Easily Look Cute and Girly in the Morning

Advertising Is Good For You[/b]