I Changed My Sig

General Off-Topic Discussion
1

You may discuss my new sig in this thread or start a separate one. I want the following people to do the following things.

  1. The guy who wrote that lengthy piece on how Gamlet is an expression of my narcissism is to write a lengthy piece on how my new sig is an expression of my narcissism.

  2. Robb Sherwin is to continue his usual shtick.

  3. S. John Ross is to say something caustic.

  4. Plotkin is to explain how banning me is not an option as the ensuing War of Puppets would tear apart the fragile fabric of this precious community.

  5. Victor Gijsbers is to enlighten everyone on how to filter me.

Oh, dear. I just realised that by predicting your responses I pre-empted them. I guess you guys have to say something original now, something you’ve never said before. That will require imagination, but since you’re all highly gifted fiction writers, that shouldn’t be a problem.

2

I’m offended. I mentioned your sig directly in a post and you don’t mention me.

3

If all dunces disagree with you, then you are genius.

X,Y,Z disagree with you.

Therefore they are dunces, hence you are a genius.

Not quite “affirming the consquent”, but certainly some pretzel’y logic there.

4

This is pretty great.

This thread demonstrates the difference between Jacek Pudlo, the petulant alias, and Michael Lonc, the extremely stupid, grunting half-ape.

I knew it would leave an impression when I told Michael to post with his three or four accounts within an hour. This isn’t the first time I’ve done this. I know what a prideful dummy like Lonc is going to say before he does. And sure enough, like a clapping & honking seal bobbing for tripe, he came up with this thread with instructions. Ho ho ho! Trrrrrap laid!

Problem is, Lonc picks the signature to flap his wrists about. Michael, the rest of us turned signatures off five years ago. There’s a spot to list your ICQ number as well, you stupid, backwards bastard. Hey, it’s listed first! It must be the most popular one! It makes his entire post laughable. I expect another one where he warns us that he can now disable call waiting from his computer’s phone line.

At any rate, the clear division between his awkward facade and sad man beneath are pretty obvious when you look for them. Since his new tactics involve telling each moderator around here that they are “shit” and desperately trying to get the Kerkerkruip thread locked, I doubt he’ll be around here much longer. This is your chance for a close-up view of the world’s most enthusiastic high school sophomore (“Guys! I read some Swift!!! G-guys?”) as he circles his final drain.

5

A+ for doing your usual shtick.

By the way, I have a rather personal question I’d like to ask you, Robb. Don’t answer it if it makes you uncomfortable. How old are you? I’m asking because I’ve been playing Crimson Spring lately with a friend of mine who thought it was the work of a very precocious seven-year-old. She said the artwork could possibly be pubescent, but the prose was too childish for a twelve-year-old. If you’re twenty now, that would mean my friend was right.

6

I love the fact that you are loading other people’s IF for women to see. You sure don’t want her anywhere the fuck near Gamlet. Anyway, again, you’re trying so hard to keep up, you don’t care that you’re joyfully presenting yourself as the master of the awkward date. Knowing your history with women on rgif, I’m sure 12-year olds came up, all right.

Are… are you crying? Whoa.

Shhh… there, there. It will all be over soon. I know - I know! They said such horrible things. They bullied you far beyond what you deserved. It’s all coming to its inevitable end, and you feel like lashing out a few more times while you still can. Let it out. Let it all out. I will be here to hold your hand into the darkness.

But if I have to get up or something, send a gopher request.

7

The woman in question is happily married to a friend of mine. Funny how the notion of a man hanging out with a woman makes you think of one thing and one thing only. Are those pictures done in crayon, by the way?

Me: Pretty long expositions.

My friend: Those aren’t expositions. They are idiot lectures.

8

I already know what Adam said. I know you’re sitting there, stewing in your shorts because he’s the one guy that pounds away at you from his blog and you can’t engage him, but you don’t need to keep quoting him. That’s twice in one day. Good for him he’s not 12, eh, bro? Racy!

9

Still waiting for the cavalry?

Meanwhile, let’s do a collective play session.

Your turn.

10

Yes, Michael, I am waiting for the “cavalry.” Though Adam just lobs a funny blast your way every once in a while, and though he never posts here I am definitely waiting for him to join the thread. It’s odd that you don’t know what that word means, considering you guys still have them.

Anyway, JESUS CHRIST, all right already. I can’t keep up with this level of crazy. Jasek’s got his fingers over the lever of a grenade, daring us to blink or else he’ll play this shitty game right in front of us. Don’t make fun of his signature that you probably haven’t seen or else he’ll play interactive fiction right at you. You… you think that’s it? He knows a bunch of Polish broads, as big as a house and as round as a cup, there’s Jacek constantly having to push them away from pressing the @ key because they think it looks like a hot cross bun.

Holy fffff whatisszssheeit I walked right into that one, getting that thing you made up and didn’t happen completely wrong. Well played, Gamlet, I just got fucken trawwwloled. This is you IRL except you dress a little more flagrantly

11

12

The way Robb owns Jacek every time is totally worth having Jacek.