Happy Burns' Day

A reminder that tomorrow (or today, for those on the other side of the pond) is the birthday of Robert Burns,the great Scottish poet. In honor of that most august occasion, I have tossed together a very quick and dirty piece in Inform 7 – all of about five minutes playing time, and not much more than that to write it. Enjoy!

Apologies to any Scotsmen for the technical errors which I’ve surely made.

Robert Rothman

[code]“Burns Night Supper” by Robert Rothman

Use American dialect. [Only because Inform 7 does not (as far as I know) offer a Scottish dialect option – which is probably just as well since I’d undoubtedly get it wrong anyway.]

The player carries a coin. The description of the coin is “The coin is struck wi[apostrophe] a likeness o[apostrophe] bonnie Prince Charlie.”.

Courses consumed is a number that varies. Courses consumed is zero.
Every turn:
If courses consumed is four:
End the game saying “Happy Burns[apostrophe] Day!”.

The Dining Room is a room. The description of the Dining Room is “This room seems like the perfect place to enjoy a savory Burns[apostrophe] Night Supper.”.

A supporter called a table is in the Dining Room. The table is scenery. The description of the table is “This long wooden table appears to be made of oak, stained with the patina of long use.”.

A haggis is on the table. The haggis is edible. The description of the haggis is “The ‘chieftain o[apostrophe] the puddin[apostrophe] race’ is made from various internal organs of a sheep, ground up and mixed with oats and onions, stuffed into the sheep’s stomach and boiled for a day or two until tender.”
Instead of smelling the haggis, say “The earthy aroma makes your mouth water.”. Instead of tasting the haggis, say “Gingerly, you touch your tongue to the stuffed bag of flesh. The flavor hints at complex subtleties, and makes you want to eat more.”
Check eating the haggis when the piper is unpaid:
Say “Surely ye canna eat the haggis wi’out proper musical accompaniment!” instead.
After eating the haggis:
Say “As you ingest the savory concoction, you find yourself thinking of fields of heather, with the occasional thistle growing here and there.”;
Increase courses consumed by one;
Stop the action.

Some tatties are on the table. The tatties are edible. The description of the tatties is “Boiled spuds, bashed wi[apostrophe] plenty o[apostrophe] butter.”.
Instead of smelling the tatties, say “A savory fragrance emerges from this simple dish.”. Instead of tasting the tatties, say “Dipping a fingertip into the pureed tubers to sample a taste, you remember how hungry you are.”
After eating the tatties:
Say “You wolf down the potatoes with gusto.”;
Increase courses consumed by one;
Stop the action.

Some neeps are on the table. The neeps are edible. The description of the neeps is “Turnips, simmered gently in river water until they are practically falling apart, then bashed.”.
Instead of smelling the neeps, say “The neeps are redolent of the earth in which they grew and the water in which they were boiled.”. Instead of tasting the neeps, say “You take a wee drop o[apostrophe] the neeps. It tastes good, but you want more.”
After eating the neeps:
Say “The boiled turnips are the perfect accompaniment to the other dishes on tonight’s bill of fare.”;
Increase courses consumed by one;
Stop the action.

Some whisky is on the table. Understand “booze” as the whisky. The description of the whisky is “It’s Lagavullin.”.
Instead of smelling the whisky, say “The aroma of malt and peat is magnificent.”. Instead of tasting the whisky, say “Only a wee laddie would be satisfied with just a taste. Go on, man, take a real drink!”. Instead of eating the whisky, say “Are ye daft?”.
Instead of drinking the whisky:
Say “‘Slainte!’ you proclaim, before downing the amber liquid. It is truly [italic type]uisge beatha,[roman type] the water of life itself.”;
Increase courses consumed by one;
Remove the whisky from play.

Instead of drinking something, say “Are ye daft?”.

A mouse is on the table. A plan is part of the mouse. The description of the mouse is “The poor wee critter is dead.[if the plan is part of the mouse] It seems to have a plan clutched in its paw.”.
Instead of smelling the mouse, say “Fortunately, it hasn’t yet started to decompose. The smell is just a bit, well, mousy.”. Instead of tasting the mouse, try eating the mouse. Instead of eating the mouse, say “That’s disgusting!”.
Instead of taking the plan:
If the plan is part of the mouse:
Say “You pry the tiny paper from the rodent’s paw.”;
Now the player carries the plan;
Continue the action.
Instead of examining the plan:
If the plan is part of the mouse:
Say “You can’t get a good look at the plan while it is clutched by the deceased mouse.”;
Continue the action.
The description of the plan is “Though it was once well-laid, something seems to have gone wrong with this plan.”.

A guinea stamp is on the table. The description of the guinea stamp is “Just your standard garden-variety guinea stamp, although it does seem to have a bit of an odd aroma.”.
Instead of smelling the guinea stamp, say “It’s really quite rank!”.

A man called the piper is in the dining room. The piper can be paid or unpaid. The piper is unpaid. The description of the piper is “The piper is dressed in a kilt, a tam is atop his head, a sporran is slung around his neck and a dagger hangs from his belt. [if the piper is unpaid]He carries a set of pipes, although he is not playing anything at the moment.[otherwise]He is playing the pipes.”.

The piper wears a kilt. The description of the kilt is “The tartan is that of Clan MacFlathead.”.
The piper wears a tam. The description of the tam is “A traditional bit of Scottish headwear.”.
The piper wears a sporran. The description of the sporran is “[if the piper is unpaid]Even from the outside, you can tell that this leather pouch is quite empty. [end if]You consider making a wisecrack about how well the piper’s purse goes with his skirt. However, after glancing the dagger at his belt, you decide to keep your mouth shut.”.
The piper wears a belt. The description of the belt is “Just a standard black leather belt. It keeps the kilt from falling down.”.
The piper carries a dagger. The description of the dagger is “It looks quite sharp, and makes you want to stay on the piper’s good side.”.
The piper carries a set of pipes. Understand “bagpipes” as the set of pipes. Understand “set of bagpipes” as the set of pipes. The description of the set of pipes is “A large misshapen bag with a bunch of tubes emerging from it at all angles. It looks like it was created by the joint efforts of a drunken leatherworker and a mad plumber.”.
Instead of listening, try listening to the piper. Instead of listening to the set of pipes, try listening to the piper.
Instead of listening to the piper:
If the piper is unpaid:
Say “You hear nothing. That’s not surprising, since the piper isn’t playing anything at the moment.”;
Choose a random row from the table of songs;
Say “The piper is playing [song entry].”.

Instead of giving the coin to the piper:
Now the piper is paid;
Choose a random row from the table of songs;
Say “Ye pay the piper, as all men must. He nods his thanks, and carefully places the coin in his sporran. Then he starts blowing into his pipes. For a few moments, terrible sounds emerge as the pressure builds. Then, you hear the familiar strains of [song entry].”;
Remove the coin from play.

Table of Songs
“Auld Lang Syne”
“Comin[apostrophe] Thro[apostrophe] the Rye”
“Sweet Afton”
“Rattlin[apostrophe] Roarin[apostrophe] Willie”
“Willie Brew’d A Peck O’[apostrophe]Maut”
“John Barleycorn”
“O, thou pale orb”