I’d like to introduce Progenitor’s Folly: Killing Orders, my first Twine game. It’s a pulpy, science-fiction romp that shouldn’t take more than 5 minutes for a single playthrough.
I invite you all to please give it a try. Any and all feedback is appreciated and will help me plan out the remaining episodes in the planned trilogy.
In the spirit of sharing and being so new to this community I will definitely be searching for games posted here to play and review myself. I am eager to get my first game out there into the wild, The last thing I want to do is to drop a plug in here and disappear without contributing something more.
I hope you all enjoy & look forward to playing some great games here!
It’s not bad. It’s a little, uh, “fine-grained”, I think is the word I’m looking for? for a choice-based game, at least in the beginning, but I could deal. The writing got a bit florid and long-winded at times, but it’s not bad for a first effort. There were a couple pages of the story that ran a little long; some editing there might have helped.
Some more spoilery thoughts follow
[spoiler]The beginning was a little disorienting. I think starting in medias res wasn’t quite the right decision for this story, at least in the way it used it. Possibly start it off at the end of the PC’s last mission? I also would have liked some more details on the Progenitor’s Virus. I think you were going for mysterious here, but it winds up being generic.
The conversation with Veil on the roof was pretty good, I felt.
There were more instadeath choices than I care for in CYOA-type IFs. It’s fairly obvious what the right choice in each situation would be, though, so I wasn’t too annoyed. Try some of the better rated Choice of Games stories, and see how they handle challenge in choice-based IF.[/spoiler]
Thanks for playing, Healy! I’m grateful for your feedback.
Absolutely. I understand exactly what you mean about it being too “fine-grained”. Many granular decisions for a smaller amount of impact versus fewer, broader decisions that would make you, the player, feel like you were truly affecting things in the story. In hindsight I’ve noticed it is very verbose for a scenario that is set in such an enclosed area and unfolding over such a short period of time.
Your advice about insta-death is also well taken. It’s obvious what the correct option is, except when it’s not. And then it all feels too abrupt and ‘trial by error’.