Feedback for a SHORT Cyberpunk inspired text game


I’ve recently wrote a short Cyberpunk text game and I am looking for feedback before I continue with the story.

The game has (I think) an interesting mechanic and interactions with the main characters in addition to multiple endings.

I would LOVE to get your feedback on every aspect of the game: Story, pacing, characters, language, mechanics etc.

This is an html game (made using Twine). To play, please:

Use the link here: … EPx6-gd1Gt
Download the html file to your computer (I couldn’t use this on mobile for some reason).
Double click to Play (your computer browser will open)
Send your feedback either in this thread, a private message or to my email at
Thanks for the help!

In my experience, my devices have never liked a “downloaded” HTML file which isn’t already on the internet through a browser. It might be a phone security issue - I’m on iOS though, and there may be apps there or on Android which will open HTML locally, but that’s too much trouble for a player.

You may want to try hosting your game on (which you can keep private with a secret testing URL til you decide to publish) or if it’s straight Twine - in both cases, those sites will let you play the game online via a URL on desktop or mobile. is just "post your game and give out the URL (requires a Twitter account to log in); is a full-blown marketplace with a browsing audience where your game can have its own page and a forum and be monetized or accept donations if you wish.

There have been discussions elsewhere here discussing how to wrap a website or HTML into a phone-friendly app for its respective App Store, but hosting the file for play online is probably the easiest solution for all users, mobile or desktop.

Great idea HanonO!

I wasn’t aware these type of tools existed :slight_smile:

I’ll check them out later today.


I’m looking for a developer’s help in implementing UI and some of the feedback I got for the text game.

Updated version of the game can be found here: (I currently have some issues with mobile browser. If it doesn’t work on your mobile device, please try using your desktop browser).

If anyone is interested, send me a message. Thanks!