Counterfeit Monkey Invisiclues

General advice

  • Type GOALS to see what you need to do right now. These Invisiclues are organized by goals; use GOALS to get your list of goals, then look up the goal section by name.
  • Examine everything. Examine everything again with the monocle (when you get the monocle).
  • Use HIGHLIGHTING ON to highlight objects that you can interact with. (There are sometimes objects you can interact with that aren’t highlighted, which is a bug.)

Tutorial

How do I open the temporary barrier at Ampersand Bend?

LOOK AT THE BARRIER.

You need the code for the code-lock.

You need to make the code from something nearby. (If you took my advice and used HIGHLIGHTING ON, the thing you need will be highlighted.)

WAVE THE X-REMOVER AT THE CODEX. Once you’ve turned the codex into a code, you can UNLOCK THE BARRIER.

Goal: Get my backpack from the cinema

The cinema is visible on your map. If you visit the cinema, the ticket-taker will ask you for a ticket. You need to make a ticket to enter.

Visit all of the nearby places on the map. Look for something you can turn into the ticket.

Visit the church.

The church garden has a thicket. Remove H from it, give the ticket to the ticket-taker, then go west and take the backpack.

Goal: Retrieve your remaining possessions from locker at hostel

The hostel is visible on your map. The locker is upstairs in the hostel. You need to get rid of the backpacking girl and then open the locker.

  1. How do I get rid of the backpacking girl?

    Right as you walk in to the Dormitory Room for the first time, she asks you whether this is a “safe place.” “I saw this documentary once, right, about a serial killer who went from youth hostel to youth hostel, grooming girls and killing them. And then he’d chop up the bodies and put the body parts into the lockers. And no one would find out until he’d gone away again.”

    You have to frighten her away. What is she afraid of?

    Make a body part and show it to her.

    You can make an ear, heel, arm, or toes, using objects in nearby places.

    Remove the P from the pear and SHOW THE EAR TO THE GIRL.

  2. How do I open the locker?

    First, you have to get rid of the backpacking girl. (See #1 above.)

    EXAMINE THE LOCK. REMEMBER MAKING THE LOCK.

    You need restoration gel to turn the lock back into a clock.

    There’s a tube of restoration gel in the park at the Midway.

    • How do I get the tube of restoration gel?

      To win the Midway game, you have to remove a letter from the apple or the pear.

      Remove P from either the apple or the pear to win.

    When you PUT GEL ON THE LOCK, it says, “There isn’t enough gel remaining in the little tube for use.” When you LOOK AT THE TUBE, it says, “The tube claims to be full of restoration gel, but said gel has mostly gone. If only it had been a larger container to start with.”

    You need to make a larger container of restoration gel.

    Remove the E from the tube to make a tub of restoration gel. Now you can PUT THE GEL ON THE LOCK.

Goal: Meet your colleague Slango at Counterfeit Monkey

You can’t do this until you have retrived your remaining possessions from the locker at the hostel and the backpack from the cinema.

You need a car to travel southeast from High Street.

You have to make a car using an object in a nearby place.

  • How do I make a car?

    Make the car out of a card.

    There’s chard in the Patriotic Chard-Garden, northeast of Webster Court. Remove the H to make a card, then remove the D to make a car.

ENTER THE CAR then go southeast from High Street.

The car is out of fuel.

  • Where can I find fuel for the car?

    The object you need is behind a locked gate.

    The object you need is on the beach, north of Roget Close.

    • How do I open the gate at Roget Close?

      Look at the sculpture next to the gate.

      Put something on the pedestal.

      When you put something on the pedestal, the mirror spells the word backwards.

      Find something that you can put on the pedestal.

      Find an object that’s three letters long.

      You can put a yam, pan, or gum on the pedestal.

      The farmer is selling a yam at Hesychius Street. BUY THE YAM and then put it on the pedestal.

    On the Private Beach, there’s something plastic in the sand. GET THE PLASTIC.

    Remove N from “funnel” to make fuel.

After you put the fuel in the car, it refuses to run. “It’s going to take some tuning up before it will go.”

  • How do I tune up the car?

    TUNE THE CAR.

    “I mostly leave repairs to the garage.”

    There’s no garage nearby, but you can make one using an object nearby.

    Remove the B from the garbage on High Street to make a garage.

    When the car and the garage are on High Street, you can ask why the car does not run.

    Now you need oil.

    You can make oil form an object nearby.

    Remove the S from the soil in the Patriotic Chard-Garden to make oil. GIVE THE OIL TO THE MECHANIC and he’ll fix the car. (Note that if you make the car, fill it with fuel, and put gel on it, the fuel will be lost. Restart the game or restore from an earlier save to get your fuel back.)

Once the car is tuned up and full of fuel, you can ENTER THE CAR and go southeast from High Street.

There’s an Authenticator at the Fish Market, forcing you to go east to the Tin Hut.

  • How do I get past the Authenticator?

    You need to put anything suspicious in your backpack and CLOSE it. (The game will tell you what’s suspicious if you go west back to the Fish Market.)

    The letter remover and the monocle fit easily in the backpack, but the plans are too large. Despite that, you have to find a way to put them in your backpack.

    Turn the plans into something smaller with your letter remover.

    Turn the plans into a pan, by removing the S and then the L. Put all suspicious items in the backpack, then CLOSE THE BACKPACK.

Goal: Talk to Lena at the Aquarium Bookstore

The bookstore is on your map, east of Deep Street. When you get there, you can SAY WHO YOU ARE.

Look at the box she shows you, and convert the two items into something more innocent.

  • What should I do with the modems?

    It’s a short word. Try removing letters systematically.

    Remove the M to turn them into odes.

  • What should I do with the preamps?

    It’s a short word. Try removing letters systematically.

    Remove the P to turn them into reams.

    She needs them to be more portable.

    Remove the S to turn the reams into a single ream.

She says that “this will be pointless unless we can also fool an authentication scope.” You’ve seen something recently that’s designed to fool an authentication scope.

The Origin Paste at the Counterfeit Monkey bar can fool an authentication scope. You can win it from the barman by playing the game.

  • How do I win the Origin Paste?

    REMEMBER PLAYING GAMES.

    The patrons will always ask you to make a liquid, unless you show them a liquid, in which case case they’ll ask you to make something small.

    Find a liquid that you can turn into something small (or vice versa).

    It’s nearby, in a room north of the roundabout.

    It’s in the Outdoor Café.

    Remove the S from the spill to turn it into a pill, then SHOW THE PILL TO THE BARMAN. They’ll ask you to turn it into a liquid; you can put gel on the pill to turn it back into the spill.

PUT THE ORIGIN PASTE on your converted items. When Lena is satisfied, she’ll say “Welcome back.” (If Lena is not satisfied, see earlier questions about the modems and the preamps, and be sure to apply the paste after converting the items.) Then you can ask her / encourage her to call Slango, and you can talk to him at the Counterfeit Monkey.

Goal: Check the dead drop at the public convenience

The public convenience is on the map, but on the way there, you’ll get stuck in the Roundabout.

  • How do I get out of the roundabout?

    First, you’ll have to get out of the car.

    You can’t get out of the car until you make it seem like a real car.

    PUT ORIGIN PASTE ON THE CAR. GET OUT.

    You have to get the protestors out of here.

    GET THE RIFLE. (Try it a few times if needed.)

    Now you need to shoot something.

    SHOOT THE TREE. Now you can ENTER THE CAR and go east out of the roundabout.

At the public convenience, you have to find the dead drop. LOOK AT everything in here.

LOOK AT everything with the monocle.

Lavender is the smell of Origin Paste. SMELL.

The ash is the dead drop.

Put gel on the ash.

Goal: Trace Brock’s movements at the antique shop

The antique shop is on your map, south of the roundabout. (You can even just GO TO THE ANTIQUE SHOP to go right there.)

Use all of the conversation topics with Kate.

You need the map Brock sold to Kate.

BUY THE MAP.

Goal: Find a way to understand the map

Look at the map.

Look at the legend.

That’s certainly a legend, but it’s not the sort of “legend” maps usually have. If you explore rooms nearby, you may be able to figure out what Brock did here.

Explore rooms south of the roundabout.

The “legend” on the map is a homonym for the “legend” you need.

At the Fleur d’Or Drinks Club, there’s a “homonym paddle” that can turn objects into their homonyms. (But you’re not allowed to use it yourself.)

SHOW THE LEGEND TO THE BARTENDER. LOOK AT THE LEGEND.

Goal: Speak to Professor Waterstone and get his invitation to see the T-inserter

Professor Waterstone is at the university.

  • How do I open the sturdy iron gate to the university?

    You need a key.

    Any student would have a key to the university.

    Alex has a key in his apartment. Go southwest from Palm Square to enter.

    Go west from Palm Square to try the window.

    The “key” in Alex’s apartment unlocks Alex’s front door. Something else in the apartment unlocks the gate.

    The ring unlocks the gate. When you have that, you can go southeast from Palm Square.

  • How do I get past the student at the University Oval?

    Just talk to the student.

    Once you’ve encouraged the student, you can go south to avoid them.

Go southeast from the Samuel Johnson Hall, then north from the Language Studies Department Office to find Waterstone.

When you’re done talking to Waterstone, he’ll throw you out of his office, but you can KNOCK ON THE DOOR to talk to him again. “Is there anything you want to show me?”

Waterstone will talk to you when you show him something he’s interested in. (You don’t even have to knock first; his office door has a window.)

  • What sort of thing is Waterstone interested in?

    Look around in the Language Studies Department Office.

    The printer is going to print something, but it’s out of paper.

    Make some paper for the printer.

    The object you need to convert is in the university somewhere.

    The object you need to convert is downstairs.

    The object you need to convert is in the Graduate Student Office, south of the Samuel Johnson Basement.

    The object you need is in the refrigerator.

    You can remove the C from the cream.

    PUT THE REAM IN THE PRINTER. CLOSE THE PRINTER. READ THE DRAFT.

    You need to show Waterstone “an object susceptible to double-entendre that has been successfully rendered innocent by some linguistic modification.”

You have to make the “susceptible object” with your letter remover.

The object you need is a living creature.

  • How do I create a living creature with my letter remover?

    Talk to everybody in the university.

    Professor Brown, downstairs in Brown’s Lab, southwest of the Samuel Johnson Basement, has something to say about this. (He’ll even allow you to create abstracts, if you ask him.)

    You need to enter the Rectification Room, which is west of the Basement. To do that, you’ll need a keycard.

    • Where can I get a keycard?

      You’ll have to make it.

      Talk to Professor Higgate, west of the Language Studies Department Office.

      Higgate will take you to the seminar room if you have a book to return. (RETURN THE BOOK to make Higgate leave.)

      • Where can I find a book to return?

        There’s one in Alex’s apartment, in the “My Apartment” room, south of the bathroom.

        There, you can take The Problem of Adjectives and bring it to Higgate.

      The seminar room has a synthesizer in a plexglas case. You’ll need to open the case.

      • How do I open the case?

        When you look at the case, it says, “plexiglas is a cuttable substance with the right tools, and then there are the screws at the back.”

        You could remove the screws with a screwdriver. You’ve seen one recently.

        You can ASK THE BARTENDER FOR A SCREWDRIVER at the Fleur d’Or Drinks Club, and then put gel on it to turn it back into a screwdriver.

        With the screwdriver in your inventory, you can OPEN THE CASE. (You’ll be interrupted the first time; just do it again.)

      Remove everything from the synthesizer, then put the key and the card (gel your car) in the synthesizer, and TURN ON THE SYNTHESIZER.

    If you try to use the keycard, the game won’t let you, unless you make “some kind of masking noise.”

    • How do I make a masking noise?

      You need convert an object into a word that means a sound. (You can do this now that Brown has enabled abstracts on your remover.)

      The object you need is near the university.

      There’s a wrap for sale in the Babel Café, south of Palm Square. BUY THE WRAP.

      Remove the W to turn the wrap into a rap. DROP THE RAP in the Basement before you use the keycard.

    In the Rectification Room, TURN ON THE COMPUTER to use the machine. But now, you need a password.

    • How do I find the password?

      Why find the password when you can make one?

      Gel the crossword you found in the synthesizer to get a word. Now you need a pass.

      You’re already carrying the object you need to make a pass.

      Look at everything in your inventory with the monocle.

      The “as,” the coin Lena gave you, is really a pastis.

      Put gel on the as, then remove the I to make pasts, and then the T to make a pass. Put the pass and the word in the synthesizer to make a password.

    TYPE THE PASSWORD. TYPE 4. PUT THE REMOVER IN THE MACHINE.

Now that you have a fully unlimited letter remover, you need to create a living creature that’s a homonym for a lewd word.

Make a “cock.” (A chicken.)

Remove L from the clock (back in the hostel) to make the cock. In the Language Studies Department Office, SHOW THE COCK TO WATERSTONE.

Without removing any letters, you need to make the cock something innocent.

You need to synthesize the cock with another object.

There are at least five different things that you could synthesize with the cock. Just one of them is in the university, but it’s a bit hard to find, so I recommend that you synthesize it with something nearby the university. (In the next hint, I’ll tell you exactly what to synthesize with the cock.)

You could synthesize it with the shrimp tail (in the Graduate Student Office, in the fridge, on the silver platter) to make a shrimp cocktail, or with the ball at Long Street South to make a ballcock. When you show either of those to Waterstone, he’ll gladly give you the invitation.

Goal: Gain entrance to the Bureau

You can’t do this until you accomplish the earlier goal, “Speak to Professor Waterstone and get his invitation to see the T-inserter.”

The Bureau entrance is south of Tall Street (east of the Roundabout), but you can’t get in at sunset (after you have the invitation), because kids are trying to hit the cardboard figure (the piñata) with sticks. You’ll have to do something about the crowd to get in.

  • How do I disperse the crowd in front of the Bureau?

    You’ll need to hit the figure yourself.

    Hit the figure with a stick.

    • Where can I find a stick?

      You’ll need to make one.

      The object you need to convert is in the university.

      It’s in the Graduate Student Office.

      Remove the Y from the sticky to make a stick.

    You also need a blindfold to hit the figure, or “some appropriate strip of cloth.”

    • Where can I find a strip of cloth?

      You have to convert something into it.

      All four objects that convert to cloth have already had a letter removed. Look at stuff with the monocle to find what you need, then put gel on it.

      The nearest transformed object is nearby, somewhere east of the Roundabout. Search thoroughly.

      The shed used to be a shred of cloth. Put gel on the shed.

    Wear it, then hit the figure with the stick.

Go south from Tall Street to the Rotunda, then south again to the Antechamber. There, you can SHOW THE INVITATION TO THE SECRETARY.

“Passes only.” Where would you get a pass?

You have a pass; it’s part of your password. Go north from the Antechamber, put gel on the password, then return south to SHOW THE PASS TO THE SECRETARY.

That didn’t work! You’ll need to do something about your hair.

  • What should I do about my hair?

    You’ll need a disguise.

    There’s an object that you can convert into a disguise nearby, outside the Bureau.

    There’s a twig in the Abandoned Park east of Tall Street. Remove the T to make a wig, and wear it.

    The secretary will examine the wig and the pass with her authentication scope.

    Put Origin Paste on the wig and the pass.

When you’re fully prepared, SHOW THE PASS again and WAIT until the end of the conversation.

Goal: Find Brock

From the Antechamber, go east, down, north, and north to enter the Bureau Basement Middle.

The T-inserter is in the equipment testing room to the west of Bureau Basement Middle.

Why is there a rock here?

Put gel on the rock.

Goal: Test T-inserter

This is three goals, actually. (To test the T-inserter, just put an object into it. The T-inserter will do its thing.)

  1. Test T-inserter on making creatures

    You already have the object you need.

    Make a mythical creature.

    Put the roll in the T-inserter to make a troll. (Trolls are dangerous, so be sure to put gel on it right away.)

  2. Test T-inserter on making abstracts

    You don’t need to leave the room for this. (You might have the object you need already.)

    If you didn’t bring the object you need, Brock will provide it.

    You can try restoring back to an earlier game, leaving everything you can outside the Bureau, and see what Brock provides. But that’s a hassle, so I’ll just tell you that in that case, Brock will give you a sign.

    You can’t insert a T in “sign.” You’ll have to remove a letter first.

    Remove the G in sign to make sin, then put that in the T-inserter to make stint.

  3. Test T-inserter on situations where it could build more than one thing

    You don’t need to leave the room for this. (You might have the object you need already.)

    If you didn’t bring the object you need, Brock will provide it.

    You can try restoring back to an earlier game, leaving everything you can outside the Bureau, and see what Brock provides. But that’s a hassle, so I’ll just tell you that in that case, Brock will give you a sign.

    Try using the sign to make an abstract. (See the previous question.)

    You can use the sign to make a stint. That’s the first step toward creating an object that will be ambiguous when you put it in the inserter.

    Try systematically removing letters from the stint.

    Remove the S from stint to make a tint.

    Remove the N from tint to make a tit. (The bird, of course.)

    Remove T from tit to make I. Put that in the inserter, remove T, and put I in the inserter until it generates both “tit” and “it.”

Goal: Escape the Bureau

You can’t do this until you’ve finished all three T-inserter tests. (See above.)

Take the rock (Brock) and leave the Testing Room to the east. You’ll unavoidably encounter Alex’s father. No matter what you say, he’ll put you in Cold Storage.

  • How do I escape Cold Storage?

    You have to send somebody out. But who?

    You can put gel on yourself and volunteer to leave, but you’ll die immediately.

    You can put gel on the rock and send Brock out. But there’s another option.

    This room is full of people who have been transformed into objects. PUT GEL ON OBJECT.

From here, you can only access five rooms: the Bureau Basement Secret Section, the Sensitive Equipment Testing Room, Wonderland, the Equipment Archive, and the Display Reloading Room.

  • How do I escape this part of the Bureau?

    Alex’s father said that there’s an emergency exit to the north. Where could it be?

    Search the Equipment Archive and Display Reloading Room thoroughly.

    Push the button in the Display Reloading Room, and take the anagramming gun. Can you find anything to anagram around here?

    Use the monocle.

    The lamb granulates are really anagram bullets. Put gel on the lamb to get bullets, load the gun, and find something to shoot.

    SHOOT THE ODOR in Wonderland to make a door. Open it, and go north. (You have to OPEN THE DOOR explicitly.)

Now you can access Oracle Project, Surveillance Room, Tunnel through Chalk, Workshop, and Generator Room. Where is the emergency exit?

The emergency exit is behind the portcullis in Tunnel through Chalk.

  • How do I open the portcullis?

    Search all of the new rooms thoroughly with the monocle.

    Especially the Workshop.

    The Workshop dais has a synthesizer. You’ll need to synthesize something to use to open the portcullis.

    • How do I use the dais synthesizer?

      FLIP THE SWITCH to synthesize, then PULL THE LEVER.

      The dais synthesizer isn’t plugged in.

      • How do I plug in the dais?

        Theh object you need is in one of the rooms before the odor-door.

        Use HIGHLIGHTING ON as you search.

        It’s in the Equipment Archive.

        Put something in the umlaut punch.

        When you put something in the umlaut punch, a power chord hangs in the air.

        Remove H from the power cord to get a power cord. Then you can PLUG CORD INTO WALL. PLUG CORD INTO DAIS.

      Even once the dais is plugged in, there’s no power flowing to the machine. Where would you go to fix this?

      You can generate power in the Generator Room. Look at everything here carefully.

      TURN ON THE BOILER.

      Try putting things in the bucket to unlock the generator. (In the next hint, I’ll explain how the bucket works.)

      When you put something in the bucket, all of its vowels are transformed to the subsequent vowel. All As are replaced with Es, all Es are replaced with Is, all Is are replaced with Os, all Os are replaced with Us, and all Us are replaced with As. If that transformation makes a real word, the bucket is unlocked.

      There are a bunch of ways to solve this. For example, you were carrying a valid item when you entered the Bureau. (Try just putting everything in the bucket systematically.)

      You can put the stick, the tub, or the pan in the bucket.

    Now that you can turn on the synthesizer, you’ll have to figure out what to synthesize. You examined all of the new rooms thoroughly with the monocle, right?

    The paperweight is actually a paper and a weight.

    Synthesize the weight with something.

    Synthesize the weight with the counter in the Tunnel to make a counterweight.

    Put the counterweight on the hook. Then you can open the portcullis.

(Save right after you open the portcullis!) Behind the portcullis is Atlantida.

  • How do I escape Atlantida’s room?

    You can’t go anywhere until you defeat Atlantida.

    • How do I defeat Atlantida?

      Look at her with the monocle.

      She’s really an atlantida, a brachiopod. If you can put gel on her, you can turn her back into an atlantida.

      There’s no way to touch her directly.

      You have to get the rifle out of her hands, without touching her.

      Shoot the rifle with the anagramming gun.

      One turn later, you can put the gel on the astrologer.

      Shoot Atlantida with the rifle.

    East of the Personal Apartment, in the Private Solarium, the emergency exit is to the north.

You can flee north from the Solarium now, but Alex recommends that you “leave the island with a new, improved Atlantida,” but you can just skip that and leave now if you want.

  • How do I make a new, improved Atlantida?

    First, you have to open the portcullis again.

    • How do I open the portcullis again?

      When you try, it says, “We need some kind of mechanical advantage.”

      The object you need to convert is in the Solarium.

      Remove the S from the jacks to make a heavy-duty jack. Open the portcullis with the jack.

    Now you you have to make a new, improved Atlantida. How would you do that?

    You’ll need to use the atlantida.

    The dais has a “swap homonym mode.”

    Return to the dais, flip the switch to “swap homonym,” put the atlantida on the dais, and pull the lever.

When you return to the Private Apartment after making a new, improved Atlantida, you can’t return to the Solarium until you delay the guards. (This isn’t necessary if you just leave after shooting Atlantida.)

  • How do I delay the guards?

    The jack is holding the portcullis open.

    Get the jack. That will delay the guards long enough to escape.

North of the Solarium, you can go down to the Abandoned Shore.

Use your letter remover to escape.

What can you do with the bollard?

You can turn the bollard into an oar, by removing L, D, and B. With an oar in hand, you can ENTER THE KAYAK and paddle north to the boat.

Goal: Check out the paper and see what’s going on

The ship directions are no longer north, south, east, and west, but fore, aft, port, and starboard. As well as “fore-port”, “aft-starboard”, etc. To leave this room, you’ll need to wear clothes.

The clothes are in the wardrobe.

Open the wardrobe. Wear the trousers and the turtleneck. Then you can leave your bunk by going “fore-port” (fp).

The newspaper is right here, and you can end the game by reading it, or you can explore the ship a little.

You can even break into Brock’s laptop.

  • How do I break into Brock’s laptop?

    The laptop is in Brock’s Stateroom, fore from the Galley where the newspaper is, in the left drawer.

    You’ll need the password to get in.

    Before fighting Atlantida, synthesize the password with the dais.

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Hard Mode

These hints assume that you’ve already beaten the game once in easy mode. Don’t read these if you haven’t beaten Easy Mode yet, or you’ll be spoiled on Easy Mode.

Hard Goal: Retrieve your remaining possessions from locker at hostel

In Easy Mode, you could create an ear from the pear, a heel from the wheel, or toes from the tomes. But these objects are all gone in hard mode. There’s now just one body part you can create, and you have to examine everything carefully to find it. (Worst of all, in the current latest release 8 as of Feb 2020, there’s a bug in highlighting mode such that the object to convert isn’t highlighted. So pay close attention!)

The object is outdoors in the park.

It’s at Heritage Corner.

It’s in the diorama table.

You can remove the Y from the army to create an arm. Show her that to scare her off.

Hard Goal: Meet your colleague Slango at Counterfeit Monkey

The chard, the soil, and the garbage are right where they were in Easy Mode, but the funnel is now missing. You’ll have to find a replacement.

In the next hint, I’ll tell you exactly where the replacement for fuel is. You may be able to guess by thinking about what you had to do to get the fuel in Easy Mode.

The replacement is on the beach, where the funnel was.

Remove the E from the sage to make a sag.

Put the sag on the mirror pedestal at Roget Close to make gas.

Hard Goal: Speak to Professor Waterstone and get his invitation to see the T-inserter

Your first problem in Hard Mode will be the synthesizer. There’s no screwdriver at the Fleur D’Or Drinks Club, so it’s harder to open the plexiglas case.

  • How do I open the plexiglas case?

    When you examine it, it says, “plexiglas is a cuttable substance with the right tools, and then there are the screws at the back.” That’s a hint.

    You’ll need to cut the plexiglas with the proper tool.

    Have you seen a saw anywhere?

    There’s a jigsaw puzzle at Long Street South.

    Show the jigsaw to the bartender at the Fleur D’Or Drinks Club to hit it with the homonym paddle, turning it into a jigsaw. You can cut the plexiglas with the jigsaw.

Your next new problem is making a masking noise, so you can use the keycard to enter the Rectification Room.

  • How do I make a masking noise?

    You made a noise when you opened the plexiglas case.

    Turn on the jigsaw and drop it in the Basement.

Your next new problem is that it’s no longer possible to create a cock.

  • How do I make the object Waterstone wants?

    The “object susceptible to double-entendre” still has to be a living creature. Then, you still need to synthesize it to make it innocent.

    In the next hint, I’ll tell you the naughty animal you need to create.

    Create an ass by turning the pastis into a pass and then removing the P. Next, you’ll have to synthesize it with something.

    The synthesizer may be more powerful than you realize.

    For instance, in the synthesizer in Easy Mode, you could make COCK + SHRIMP TAIL = SHRIMP COCKTAIL, not just COCKSHRIMP TAIL or SHRIMP TAILCOCK. What does that imply to you about how the synthesizer works?

    The synthesizer can mix two objects together letter by letter. (The order of the letters in each word remains the same, e.g. she + ad = shade)

    There’s a three letter word that you can make with an item in your inventory that you can synthesize with the ass.

    You’ll need to remove twice from this word to make a three letter word.

    Remove T from letter to spell leer, then remove R from leer to spell lee. You can synthesize the lee with ass to speal leases.

Hard Goal: Gain entrance to the Bureau

In Hard Mode, there’s no banana or wrap, so you might have some trouble finding a strip of cloth to use as a blindfold.

  • Where do I find a strip of cloth?

    You have to convert something into it.

    Both objects that convert to cloth have already had a letter removed. Look at stuff with the monocle to find what you need, then put gel on it.

    The nearest transformed object is nearby, somewhere east of the Roundabout. Search thoroughly.

    The shed used to be a shred of cloth. Put gel on the shed.

In Hard Mode, there’s no sticky in the Graduate Student Office, so you can’t make a stick that way.

  • What do I make to hit the cardboard figure at Tall Street?

    You already have something to hit the figure with, but it’s probably transformed into something else.

    Examine everything in your inventory carefully with the monocle.

    Put gel on anything you’ve synthesized, and examine the parts with the monocle.

    The “word” from the crossword/password was originally a “sword.” Put gel on the word and hit the figure with the sword.

There’s no twig, either, so you can’t make a wig. You still have to disguise your hair, though.

  • How do I disguise my hair?

    The solution involves the synthesizer.

    One object is very close to the synthesizer.

    You can remove C from the chair in the Language Studies Seminar Room to make “hair.” What could you combine that with?

    The other object is south of the Roundabout.

    It’s in the Fleur D’Or.

    Synthesize the hair with the piece in the Fleur D’Or Lobby to make a hairpiece, and wear that. (Don’t forget paste!)

Hard Goal: Escape the Bureau

Most of this is the same, except for the Generator Room, where the locking mechanism is now totally different.

  • How do I activate the Generator Room?

    Put stuff in the bucket to figure out what it does.

    It does something different to consonants and vowels.

    It converts each consonant into the subsequent vowel, and each vowel into the subsequent consonant. M and N become O. O becomes P. Y becomes A.

    There’s an object very nearby that you can use for this.

    It’s four letters long.

    Open the first aid station and put the balm in the bucket.

    “eboo” is almost a word.

    Shoot the balm with the anagramming gun to make a lamb, then put the lamb in the bucket to make an oboe.

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Achievements

  • Don’t worry about achievements until you’ve beaten the game at least once.
  • Some achievements are easier to figure out if you’ve beaten the game on Hard Mode (which is an achievement in its own right) so consider winning on Hard Mode before trying for the other achievements.
  • It’s impossible to do all of the achievements on one playthrough. The achievements persist when you restart/restore, so you can still have a SCORE with all of the achievements even if you have to restart/restore to achieve each of them.

Admiral Thoureaux award for removing every letter of the alphabet in one playthrough

I don’t think it’s possible to win the game without removing these letters.

  • B: You can’t win the game without turning garbage into garage.
  • D: You can’t win the game without turning the chard into a car.
  • E: You can’t win the game without turning the tube into a tub.
  • H: You can’t win the game without turning the chard into a car.
  • I: You can’t win the game without turning the pastis into pasts.
  • L: You can’t win the game without turning the plans into pans.
  • M: You can’t win the game without turning the modems into odes.
  • P: You can’t win the game without turning the preamps into a ream.
  • S: You can’t win the game without turning the preamps into a ream.
  • T: You can’t win the game without turning pasts into a pass.
  • X: You can’t win the game without turning the codex into a code.

That leaves just these letters. (At least some of these I think can only be done in Easy Mode.)

A

It’s surprisingly hard to remove vowels. On what sort of word might it be easier?

Find a word with two vowels next to each other.

There’s one downstairs in the University.

Turn the coat into a cot.

C

You might have forgotten, but you need to do this to find out what Waterstone needs.

Turn the cream in the Graduate Student Office refrigerator into a ream.

F

The object you need is north of the park.

It’s at the Crumbling Wall Face.

Examine the rock.

You can remove F from the fossil.

Remove S first to make foil, then remove F to make oil.

G

(I don’t think you can do this until your remover can make abstracts.) There’s a common object around town that contains a G.

Remove G from a sign.

J

This one’s tricky, because the object you need is available early in the game, but you first have to be able to make living creatures with the remover.

There’s a J word near the park.

It’s in the cinema.

It’s in the screening room.

Remove J from the jotter.

K

This one’s easier when your remover can make abstracts.

There’s a K word east of the Roundabout.

It’s the Public Convenience.

Remove K from a sink.

N

You probably did this on the beach in Easy Mode.

Remove N from the funnel.

O

It’s surprisingly hard to remove vowels. On what sort of word might it be easier?

Find a word with two vowels next to each other.

There’s one downstairs in the University.

Turn the coat into a cat.

Q

This one’s tricky! As far as I know, there’s only one opportunity to do this right at the end of the game. Use HIGHLIGHTING ON and you can’t miss it.

Remove Q from the squid on the Abandoned Shore beneath the Solarium.

R

There’s an opportunity to do this very near the start of the game.

It’s in the park

At the Midway, you can turn the pear into a pea.

U

Restart the game and try following the tutorial.

The tutorial will instruct you to remove U from the mourning dress at Signal Street.

V

Use HIGHLIGHTING ON and keep an eye out for V as you play the game; there aren’t that many of them.

It’s east of the Roundabout.

At the Bus Station, remove V from the dove.

W

There’s a good W word in the park.

At the Fair, remove W from the wheel.

Y

You probably did this when you beat Easy Mode, but you absolutely have to do this to win Hard Mode (and the object exists in Easy Mode, too).

Try just opening your locker in Hard Mode. (See hints above on how to do that.)

At Heritage Corner, remove Y from the army.

Z

This one’s actively hidden. Use HIGHLIGHTING ON and examine every highlighted word as you play.

The object appears after the park, but before you enter the Roundabout for the first time.

It’s near the beach.

On the Winding Footpath, examine the bushes; you can remove Z from the kudzu.

Lucius Quagmire award for viewing unusual films

You have to actually watch a movie.

Nothing’s playing at the cinema, and nothing ever will play on Serial Comma Day. You’ll have to start the movie yourself.

The projector in the Screening Room is designed to hold a reel of film, but it’s missing.

Make your own reel.

You’ll need to create an abstract object and turn it into the reel.

You’ll need to use the pedestal at Roget Close to turn a leer into a reel. How would you make a leer?

Remove T from the letter to make a leer, then put it on the pedestal to make a reel. But that’s the wrong kind of reel.

Show the reel to the bartender to make a film reel, then put the reel in the projector, and turn the projector on.

Jocasta Higgate award for reconstructing pagan worship on the island

Start by finding the hidden shrine on the island.

  • How do I find the hidden shrine?

    Use HIGHLIGHTING ON and examine every highlighted object.

    The shrine is near Roget Close.

    On the Winding Footpatch, examine the bushes.

    Look behind the bushes.

You need to put something on the shrine.

You need to make a god.

You’ll need to make a god out of a dog, using the pedestal at Roget Close. The dog itself is well hidden.

“Dogs” are mentioned in the description of the room where you can find the dog.

Go to Monument Green. Dig. You’ll find a dog; put it on the pedestal, then put it on the shrine.

Amanda Waterstone award for discovering cultic passages

You’ll have to make a passage. (You may find this easier to accomplish once you’ve beaten Hard Mode.)

You’ll have to synthesize a passage.

  • How do I synthesize a passage?

    You’ve probably already used one of its component words to make something with the synthesizer (in Hard Mode).

    Synthesize the ass with a page.

    • Where’s the page?

      The page is well hidden. Even with HIGHLIGHTING ON you might not notice it.

      The page is hidden on an object mentioned in a room description, so it isn’t separately highlighted in the text.

      It’s in the University.

      It’s downstairs.

      Go east from the Basement. In the Lecture Hall (at the podium), examine the podium. The page is on the podium.

When you make a passage, it makes a passage of text. You need to make a secret passage.

You can’t do this with the homonym paddle at the Drinks Club. “The passage would be bigger than I want to generate in here,” comments the bartender. So where could you make it?

Use the dais to swap homonyms with the passage in the Workshop, and enter the passage to earn this achivement.

Lord Michael Rosehip award for showing the black spot to a pirate crew

You’re going to need to make the spot and the pirate crew.

  • How do I make a spot?

    You can’t make it with the letter remover directly.

    You need an anagram of spot.

    You have to make a stop.

    You can’t make a stop with the letter remover directly, either.

    Add a T to sop to make a stop.

    You can make sop with the letter remover, if you can find the object to make it from.

    The object is east of the Roundabout.

    It’s in the Public Convenience.

    Squeeze the soap dispenser to make soap. Remove A to make a sop. Insert a T to make a stop. Shoot the stop with the anagramming gun to make a spot.

  • How do I make the pirate crew?

    Synthesize it out of a pirate and a crew.

    • How do I make a pirate?

      Synthesize one.

      Synthesize it out of pi and rate.

      • How do I make pi?

        You can do this with just the letter remover.

        The object you need is south of the Roundabout.

        Remove E from the piece to make a pic, then remove C from the pic to make pi.

      • How do I make a rate?

        You can do this with the letter remover, but you might not have encountered the object you need.

        The object you need is north of the Roundabout.

        It’s in the Tin Hut, east of the Fish Market.

        If you go down from the Tin Hut, you’ll see a crate, but Alex is afraid to go down there.

        The trap door will automatically close unless you PROP THE TRAP-DOOR.

        You can prop it open with anything that you’d use to hit the piñata cardboard figure on Tall Street. For example, prop the trap-door with the stick, then go down and remove C from the crate.

    • How do I make a crew?

      You’ll need an object that you can only get in Easy Mode.

      Remove S from the screws in the plexiglas case protecting the synthesizer. (You can’t bring a crew into the Bureau, so just bring the screws at first.)

      The crew is hard to move around, so put the screws in the right place before making them.

Before entering the Bureau, bring the screws, pi, the rate, and sop. Once you have access to the dais, you can turn the sop into a spot, synthesize the pirate, turn the screws into a crew, and synthesize the pirate with the pirate crew. Then, show the spot to the pirate crew.

Reverend Plaice award for placing the cross on the altar while liturgically dressed

It’s easier to figure out how to do this achievement if you’ve beaten the game once on Hard Mode, but you’ll ultimately have to unlock the achievement in Easy Mode.

It requires the synthesizer trick that you used to win Hard Mode.

The liturgical dressing is made out of two naughty words, one embedded inside the other.

It’s made out of two naughty animal words.

Synthesize cock + ass to make a cassock. Wear it, go to the church, then put the cross on the altar.

Mort Shaply award for showing Poe a raven-based foodstuff

You’ll need to make Poe and then you’ll need to make a raven-based foodstuff.

  • How do I make Poe?

    You can make Poe with the letter remover (once you can make living things).

    The object you need is north of the park.

    Use the poster at the Monumental Staircase.

    Remove T from the poster to make a poser, then remove R to make a pose, then remove S to make Poe.

  • How do I make a raven-based foodstuff?

    This one’s incredibly difficult. You have to make it with the anagramming gun, but you almost certainly haven’t encountered the object you have to shoot. The object you have to shoot is part of another object that you can make. (And, annoyingly, in Release 8, the object you need to shoot isn’t highlighted with HIGHLIGHTING ON.)

    You have to shoot a silver chain to make ravens chili.

    The chain is being worn by a person you can create.

    When you make a Pict, he’s wearing the silver chain.

    • How do I make a Pict?

      You can’t make a Pict with your letter remover directly.

      You have to add T to a pic to make the Pict.

      You can make a pic with just the letter remover.

      The object you need is south of the Roundabout.

      Remove E from the piece to make a pic.

Bring the pose and the pic to the T inserter. Remove S to make Poe, then insert T to make the Pict, then shoot the silver chain with the anagramming gun to make ravens chili. Then you can show the ravens chili to Poe.

Horace Fingerstain award for jotting some notes

This puzzle is all about making and successfully using a pen.

You can make a pen using the bucket in the Generator Room in easy mode.

Put the pan in the bucket to make a pen. Get the pen, then WRITE HELLO ON PAPER. (The paper is part of the paperweight, remember?)

You’ll need to make ink for the pen.

  • How do I make ink?

    You can make this with the letter remover (before you enter the Bureau).

    The object you need is east of the Roundabout.

    It’s in the Public Convenience.

    Remove S from a sink to make ink.

You can’t put ink in the pen until you make a nib and put the nib in the pen.

You can’t make the nib with the letter remover.

Make the nib from the bin in the Rotunda. (You can use the pedestal at Roget Close or the anagramming gun for this.) Put the nib in the pen, then put ink in the pen, then WRITE HELLO ON PAPER.

Propper Rosehip award for talespinning

This achievement is relatively easy. You just have to make a tale.

You can’t make a tale with the letter remover.

Add T to ale to make a tale.

Remove P from the apple at the Midway to make ale. Bring the ale to the T-inserter to make a tale.

Priscilla Parsons award for winning the game without ever entering the church

If you never enter the church, then you can’t make a ticket.

You can enter the cinema without making a ticket.

How do people normally get tickets?

Get your roll from the locker in the hostel, then buy a ticket at the cinema.

Finn Rosehip award for gnu-hunting

You have to make a gnu.

You can’t make a gnu using your letter remover.

Gnu is an anagram of gun.

You have to make the gun shoot itself.

Look around in the Equipment Archive.

There’s something important about the Equipment Archive that isn’t highlighted when you use HIGHLIGHTING ON.

The room is mirrored.

Shoot the mirror with the anagramming gun.

Camilla Downdweller award for creating five types of fish in one playthrough

In Easy Mode, you can only create two fish just using the letter remover.

  • Which fish can I create with the letter remover?

    One starts with C. The other one ends with L.

    You can create char and eel.

    • How do I create char?

      Remove D from the chard.

    • How do I create eel?

      The object you need is in the park.

      It’s in the Fair.

      Remove W from the wheel to make a heel, then remove H to create the eel.

The next fish’s name is three letters long. You have to create a four letter word and remove a letter.

  • What’s the three-letter fish and how do I make it?

    You have to make cod.

    You have to make a cord and remove the R. (Not the power cord; it’s tightly bound to its adjective.)

    You can’t make the cord with the letter remover directly.

    You can make the cord with the bucket in the Generator Room.

    Examine the bucket carefully.

    It has a reverse switch. You can TURN ON SWITCH to make it work in reverse.

    Put the card in the bucket in reverse mode to make curd, put the curd in the bucket again to make a cord, then remove R to make cod.

The next fish is four letters long. You have to synthesize a five-letter word that I’d never heard of, then remove a letter.

  • What’s the four-letter fish and how do I make it?

    You have to make carp.

    The five-letter word is a plural, from Latin, meaning wrist bones.

    The five-letter word is “carpi.” When you make carpi, you can remove the I to make carp.

    • How do I make carpi?

      You have to synthesize “car” and “pi.”

      You can make pi with your letter remover.

      The object you need is south of the Roundabout.

      It’s in the Fleur D’Or.

      Remove E from the piece in the Lobby to make a pic, then remove C to make pi. Synthesize car and pi to make carpi, then remove I to make carp.

The last fish you have to create with the anagramming gun; it comes with an irrelevant adjective attached.

You have to create a “sunlit ray.” Can you figure out what that’s an anagram of?

It’s an anagram of “rusty nail.”

You can ask the bartender for a rusty nail in the Fleur D’or Drinks Club, then shoot it with the anagramming gun to make a sunlit ray.

Igor Rosehip award for creating at least five body parts in one playthrough

You can make four body parts before you get your stuff from the locker.

You can make an arm, ear, heel, and toes before you get your stuff from the locker.

  • How do I make an arm?

    You have to do this if you beat the game in Hard Mode. (And unfortunately, in Release 8, the object you have to convert isn’t highlighted with HIGHLIGHTING ON.)

    The object is at Heritage Corner.

    Examine the diorama.

    Remove Y from the army.

  • How do I make an ear?

    Remove P from the pear at the Midway.

  • How do I make a heel?

    Remove W from the wheel at the Fair.

  • How do I make toes?

    Explore the church thoroughly.

    Remove M from the tomes in the Cathedral Gift Shop.

The last item you need to make is a patch of skin.

It’s a patch of skin with a problem.

Make a rash.

Remove T from the trash in the Public Convenience.

Lester Parsons Award for discovering unspecified local rites

To unlock this achievement, you have to make a rite.

You can’t make a rite with the letter remover directly.

You have to shoot something with the anagramming gun to make the rite. Can you figure out what?

You have to shoot a tier to make the rite.

You can’t make a tier with the letter remover directly.

You can make a tier with the bucket.

Put a tear in the bucket to make a tier, then shoot it with the gun to make a rite.

You can’t make a tear with the letter remover directly.

Insert T into ear to make tear. Put it in the bucket, then shoot the tier.

You can make an ear with the letter remover.

Remove P from the pear at the Midway in the park. Insert T into ear to make tear. Put it in the bucket, then shoot the tier.

Roman ‘Sticky’ Fingerstain Award for impromptu art theft

Steal the oil paintings in Atlantida’s Private Apartment. (This achievement is awarded when you win the game after stealing the paintings.)

Remove S from the paintings, then take the paintings.

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Heh. For the last one, I always assumed that you had to anagram the oil paintings. Your way probably makes it too easy to deserve an achievement. Perhaps this one should be revised?

I’m hazy on the role of achievements in this game. Typically, games would list out all possible achievements somewhere and you’d try to figure out how to achieve them by reading their descriptions. Maybe one or two achievements would be secret/hidden descriptions, but not all of them.

But since there’s no way to get a list of unreached achievements in this game (right?), they’re effectively all secret/hidden. I can’t see how regular human beings could possibly be expected to discover any of them except Admiral Thoureaux, Propper Rosehip, and perhaps Priscilla Parsons. The fact that you could maybe discover the Roman achievement in the course of ordinary play seems like a blessing, as a result.

But perhaps the point of this is that the ACHIEVEMENTS command at the end of the game should show the achievements you haven’t reached. A lot of these are really interesting puzzles, but there seems to be no way to know that the puzzles are out there to be found except to read my guide (or the source code). I’ve filed that as https://github.com/i7/counterfeit-monkey/issues/151

I can’t speak for Emily Short, but it seems the plan was originally to have an in-game list of famous people of Atlantis with clues on how to get their achievements. Some of them are listed in the guidebook, so I guess the idea was to add the rest and then give the player a reason to look up all of them.

The main problem is that the achievements is a bit of an unfinished feature, and listing them all only draws attention to this fact. It doesn’t even have the obligatory achievement for getting all the achievements.

As things stand, I think they still work as rewards for experimenting and doing fun but pointless things, even if it is pretty much impossible to find all of them without cheating. I found at least the Finn Rosehip and Lucius Quagmire ones on my first playthrough back in 2012.

Regarding the Roman ‘Sticky’ Fingerstain Award, this was created at the suggestion of @Draconis in the notes included with the open source release of the game, and I’m pretty sure that the idea was that it should be rewarded specifically for making intaglio pins out of the paintings to escape with them.

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Maybe they should be attached to the wall? And even if you depluralize them, the remaining painting is still attached to the wall? So you have to anagram them/it to earn the achievement?

I made the oil painting too heavy to carry, so it is a little more challenging now.